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The common thing people say about staying happy is taking care of yourself. When people are too hard on themselves and criticize every little thing it affects the happiness you feel. This tends to lessen the value.

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"Here's a little song I wrote. You might want to sing it note for note. Don't worry, be happy." ~Bobby McFerrin
I was one of those people that when asked what they want in life, would say, "I just want to be happy ..."

In my past, I suffered from debilitating depression. There was a period when getting the dry-cleaning and buying toilet paper was difficult enough.

So, I made it my mission to study what happy people do to stay happy, then I started doing what they were doing. And my happiness increased until I became one of those people I used to be envious of.

Here's a list I use now on a daily basis as a reminder to increase my happiness:

1. Give yourself permission.

Permission to be who you are; permission to laugh big, to cry when you need to, to fail brilliantly, to make stuff; permission to fall apart, breakdown, and get back up again; permission to be different and unique; permission to go too far and reach your dreams.

2. Don't take yourself so seriously.

Hold yourself with a "light hand." Laugh at your foibles with amusement.

When things get tough or stress arises, lift your shoulders with an "oh well..." Know that it's never as big or life devastating as your mind thinks.

Happy people trust that whatever glitch happens will work itself out.

They give a "Ha! Ha!" and a "So what? Who cares? Big Deal! Why not?" when met with resistances.

3. Don't self-ruminate.

I remember a friend of mine from Mississippi saying, "Lynn, when are you gonna' stop starin' at your own belly button...?" (Insert: Southern drawl.)

I learned happy people don't fixate on themselves and their problems. They don't over-analyze the issue du jour.

When they start to get stuck on a problem or in their head, they put their attention on something else.

I remind myself to not have to have it all figured out: Get outside. Go back to your work. Plan something fun.

4. Don't compare.

Comparison has been compared to a little death. When we compare ourselves to others, we harm ourselves.

Happy people know that they're no better or less than another person. Someone will always be at a "more evolved place" and someone will always be "less-evolved."

Note to self: Be concerned with only how to do your best and that's all.

5. Make adjustments.

When something isn't going your way, when your mood dips, or when you feel "off," stay curious and self-aware. Fine-tune the energy in your body by making adjustments.

If you eat something that makes you feel poor, why eat it? Pay attention if that glass of wine the night before makes you feel crappy in the morning or that slice of pizza made you bloated or that ice cream caused you to crash, losing your focus and energy.

When you're feeling stuck or heavy, take a walk, do something different than your normal routine, meet up with a friend.

If feeling anxious or stressed, tune-up with extra sleep, meditation/yoga or a hot bath...

6. Be of service and know how to take care of yourself.

Happy people want to give back. They have plenty to share. They volunteer, take time out to help a friend, offer to connect people to others for their betterment, and aren't in need of getting anything back.

Commit to service but also stay aware of how to take care of yourself. When your energy gets depleted, remember to not give away to the point that you lose focus on your own emotional/mental/physical/spiritual health.

Have loving boundaries to care for yourself so that you have more to give.

7. Choose uplifting friendships.

When we have friendships and conversations that are uplifting, supportive, and loving, with people interested in our betterment, we are on a faster track to our own enlightenment.

If you hang out with someone and don't feel great afterward, see less of that person and seek out other friendships.

Know which friends increase your happiness and nurture those relationships.

8. Be less interested in being happy and more interested in your peace of mind.

I used to think happiness was about being totally ecstatic. In order to balance out my feelings of hopelessness and depression, it seemed natural that my goal would be to be maximally blissed.

But with all the highs there's a low-we eventually come down from it.

Remember not to get attached to the highs and focus more on experiencing peaceful aliveness.

When your life is at peace, there's a relaxed balance; and the chances of sustained happiness and contentment increases.

9. Use your senses.

As they say, the ordinary is extraordinary.

Happy people receive pleasure from enjoying the simple joys in life, and usually they're connected to our senses. This subtle awareness creates significant moments of happiness.

I discovered the pleasures I receive in the:

Warmth of a teacup in my hands on a cold winter day

Taste of a square of dark chocolate melting on my tongue

Dance music in my cycle class that wakes me up

Smile of a stranger on the street

Aroma of my favorite essential oil and when people say, "You smell so good!"

Continue to mark pleasant sense experiences in your mind and carry them throughout your day to increase your spirits.

10. Don't make your intimate relationships the end-all-be-all.

I used to think the person I was in a relationship with was there to give me my happiness rather than increase it.

Happy people understand that those they are in relationship with are an "addition to," not a completion of them. They live full lives so that at the end of the day they have so much more to share.

A loving reminder: Don't rely on your partners to shift your moods, heal you, or fill your empty spaces. And remember it's not your responsibility to do that for your partner either.

Support is an important part of relationship. We're there on the bad days with compassion and a loving embrace. We're there on the good days to cheer.

But mostly, we rely on ourselves to give that to ourselves. We trust that our partners can wrestle with their own demons. We offer space for them to discover his or her happiness, while we focus on creating our own.

What might you put your focus on to continue to increase your own happiness?
Happy hands image via Shutterstock
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"Here's a little song I wrote. You might want to sing it note for note. Don't worry, be happy." ~Bobby McFerrin I was one of those people that when asked what they want in life, would say, "I just want to be happy ..." In my past, I suffered from debilitating depression.

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Happiness is not just money, friends, hobbies. Happiness comes from how in control of your life you feel. To truly feel happy you need to think about what's important to you and focus on achieving those goals.

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What does happiness mean to you?

Happy is a much used word. "I'm happy about this, I'm not happy about that..."

But what does being happy really mean? How do we know we are happy? What does it feel like?

Research has shown that long-term happiness, feeling contented with life, stems from feeling and being in charge of as much of our life as possible. It's not about smiling all the time nor does it stem from money or health, but a self-belief you are on the road you want to be on.

The problem many of us face however is that we live out of sync with what matters most to us and we find ourselves doing a lot more things we don't like, meaning the things that contribute most to our happiness slip-off our agenda.

One of the most common reasons people seek life coaching is because they have an overall sense of unhappiness and lack of fulfilment. By helping increase self-awareness, coaching brings an understanding of where you are in your life and how you get to where you want to be.
Exploring Happiness
Last Month's international Day of Happiness inspired lots of debate, including a panel discussion at The Canvas Café, London's First Happy Café. It was an energetic event and the themes tied in with research from the Action for Happiness Ten keys to Happier Living.

At the event, people discussed the importance of being spontaneous and playful; of making a difference to others; of making an effort to be happy in everyday life, and of being kind to oneself and others.

To find out what being happy means to you, ask yourself what's important to you in your life.

What is meaningful to you? What are the things that give you a deep sense of satisfaction and as a result, bring you happiness?

It's often the little things that bring great joy. Reigniting old passions such as painting, writing, photography or a sport; spending quality time with family and friends; changing a habit or routine or doing some voluntary work in your community.

Making an effort every day to explore what's possible is the very thing that renders our life meaningful and happy. It is essential for our wellbeing.

Karen Liebenguth is a life coach and accredited mindfulness teacher. She offers 1:1 coaching while walking in Victoria park because she believes that it is in nature where insight, change and creativity can happen most naturally. Karen also offers mindfulness workshops and courses for the workplace to reduce stress and restore wellbeing.

For more information visit: www.greenspacecoaching.com or drop Karen a line: karen@greenspacecoaching.com

This article was originally published in Love East magazine in April 2016. It is re-published here with permission.

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Happy is a much used word. "I'm happy about this, I'm not happy about that..." But what does being happy really mean? How do we know we are happy? What does it feel like? Research has shown that long-term happiness, feeling contented with life, stems from feeling and being in charge of as much of our life as possible.

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People can find happiness mostly in themselves. The way to be truly happy is to learn to not only love yourself, but accept that you've made mistakes and move on from them. When people dwell on the bad parts of the past it causes the level of happiness to go down making it harder to attain happiness.

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Want to be happier? Begin by being good to yourself. That may sound self-evident, but too many people skip this step and try to make themselves happy by chasing ever-higher goals, or holding themselves to ever-greater standards of perfection.

Ironically, being good to yourself instead will bring you closer to achieving those lofty ambitions, says Daylle Deanna Schwartz, speaker, columnist, and author of 15 books, including "The Effortless Entrepreneur." "The more you value yourself, especially at work, the more you build confidence," she says.

In fact, the happiest people go out of their way to treat themselves right and they do something nice for themselves each day. They set appropriate boundaries and take care of themselves by saying no to things when they need to. "When you love yourself, you understand that saying no to something you don't want to do is an act of kindness, and you don't walk around with negative feelings toward the person who asked you to do something you didn't want to do," Schwartz says.

Not only is being kind to yourself good for your career, it's good for your relationships too, she adds. "The more you build self-love, the more you have to give to others."

Here are 11 acts of kindness happy people perform for themselves--and so should you:

1. Commit to doing one nice thing for yourself every day.

Schwartz invites visitors to her site to sign a 31-day pledge to "do my best to do something loving for myself, however big or small." Whether you feel like signing or not, making the commitment means you'll remind yourself on a daily basis to treat yourself with loving kindness.

Keeping that commitment will bring real benefits, she says. "It motivates you to take better care of yourself, go after your dreams, and not let people treat you poorly."

2. Listen to yourself.

That is, listen to how you talk to yourself, and the internal tone of voice you use. (Mine tends to resemble my mother's in a lecturing mode.) "We often criticize ourselves in our own heads and that brings down our confidence," Schwartz says. "When you love yourself, you know you're good enough that you have to stop talking to yourself in negative terms."

3. Forgive yourself.

"Forgiveness is a big part of it," Schwartz says. "It's hard, because most of us have been getting angry at ourselves for all the things we do wrong all our lives. People get into trouble because they try so hard to be perfect and then they beat themselves up when they're not. Loving yourself means accepting that you're stuck inside your own imperfect skin."

Schwartz recommends this exercise to start forgiving yourself: "Look in the mirror and say, 'I love you and I forgive you.'"

4. Accept yourself as you are right now.

For starters, that means accepting the body that you have today. "Body image is a big stumbling block, and so is age," she says. "When you love yourself, you try to be the best person you can be in the body that you have, and that's as much as you can do."

Self-acceptance also means accepting your income and success level as they are, she says. "It's OK not to be making a certain amount by the time you get to a certain age," she says. "Entrepreneurs get a lot of criticism when people say, 'Why are you wasting your time doing that?' or 'You're not successful enough!'"

Instead, she recommends asking yourself a simple question: "Am I happy with what I'm doing?" She herself sold a successful summer recreation business when she found it was becoming too stressful. "I wound up with less income but I was happier."

5. Eliminate toxic people in your life and workplace.

This may be easier said than done, but avoid tying yourself to clients, business partners, investors, or employees who make you unhappy. It's obviously harder to take the same approach with family members, but Schwartz says there's no reason to put up with people saying or doing things that are unkind. "If people say mean things to me, I let them know if they talk to me like that I'm going to walk away or hang up the phone," she says.

6. Prioritize your health.

"I take supplements and vitamins, I exercise, and I recently cut out sugar for seven weeks as an act of self-love," Schwartz says. But be careful--don't let caring for your health turn into a reason to beat yourself up if you slip. "Yesterday, I had Twinkies," she says. "I've been wanting them ever since they temporarily stopped selling them. So I bought some and I ate them. I don't beat myself up when I have a treat."

7. Stop skipping meals.

"People say, 'I've been so busy I had no time to eat today,'" Schwartz says. "That's a very unloving thing to do. Grab something, even if it's just a salad."

Neuroscience tells us that letting your blood sugar sink sends stress signals to your brain. So if you truly can't stop and grab a meal, make sure you have healthy snacks at your desk.

Don't forget that when you're feeling stressed, overworked, or upset, simple breathing exercises can up your happiness quotient dramatically, Schwartz says. "If you do some deep breathing during the day, you can calm yourself down and not let stress get to you or make you sick."

9. Give yourself a welcoming space.

For years, Schwartz never made her bed, simply throwing the covers over it. Now she makes it every day for a simple reason: "Walking into my bedroom when my bed is made makes me smile."

Take the same approach with your workspace, she advises. Make it as orderly as you can. Neatening up your workspace and getting rid of stuff you don't need will make you feel calmer and more in control, she says. But don't limit yourself to just decluttering. "Make sure you have your environment and office space the way you like it and that it's a pleasant place for you to work," she says. "Have fresh flowers on your desk. Take it seriously."

10. Get some sunlight.

"A lot of people work in dark spaces. That's very unhealthy and unloving," Schwartz says. Try to work in a place where you have access to natural light, she advises. If that's not possible, invest in full-spectrum light bulbs. Either way, make sure to get outside for a walk as often as you can.

11. Buy premium products for yourself.

Does this sound like you? If you're bringing a bag of coffee to someone else, you pick out a luxury brand in a nice package, but if you're buying it for yourself, you pick the store brand or another inexpensive option. That's fine if you're one of these people to whom all coffees taste alike. But if you prefer the more expensive brand, you should go for it, Schwartz says.

"Very often we spend money on others but we're cheap with ourselves," she says. "The better brand is only a few dollars extra, and every time you use it you're reinforcing to yourself that you're worth more."

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The opinions expressed here by Inc.com columnists are their own, not those of Inc.com.

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11 Simple Ways to Make Yourself Happy Every Day

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Want to be happier? Begin by being good to yourself. That may sound self-evident, but too many people skip this step and try to make themselves happy by chasing ever-higher goals, or holding themselves to ever-greater standards of perfection.

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what chemicals are released in the brain in response to happiness

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What chemicals are released in the brain in response to happiness? | Functions of the Brain

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Chemicals released in the brain in response to happiness include endorphins, dopamine, serotonin and oxytocin. Medicine has created drugs to target th