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I was carrying laundry to the laundromat when a person on the street asked, "Hey Big Guy, got a dollar?" (I'm a tall ciswoman who often gets misgenderered in public spaces.) I continued to walk past this person without turning my head, and they persisted: "Hey, do you speak English?!" I was wearing sunglasses and couldn't piece together whether or not they could tell I am Asian American. The misgendering felt "normal" at this point, but I was so thrown off by the speaking English comment.

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I unintentionally centered Whiteness and othered Blackness in teaching a current events lesson, and caused harm and trauma for my single Black student in my class.  She asked to be moved to another teacher, and I was offended and hurt (more WSC).

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At the start of the school year one of my students made the comment that they couldn't see one of the other students in the dark when the lights had been turned off as a "joke", laughing while they said it. I perpetuated colorism in this moment because as the teacher I didn't do anything to address it. It made me feel really awful when I reflected on it after that, but obviously far worse and more damaging than how I felt was how the student could have felt and also other students in the class who saw it go unaddressed.

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An attempt at solidarity/settler colonialism/virtue Signaling 

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An attempt at solidarity/settler colonialism/virtue Signaling 

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I attended a protest in response to police brutality in my hometown. I went to listen to the experiences of the black communities that had been impacted by this event. At the protest, I was standing behind a group of men (that I identified as white) who were talking over one of the speakers. Because I assumed that these men were white, I asked them to respectful of the speakers and I think I said, "We're here to listen to the experiences of non-white folks today." One of the men graciously told me that he was Dakota and had joined to protest in solidarity with the black community. I think about this event almost ever day. I made an assumption about these men that erased their identity. I had the privilege to overlook their experience. I return to this when I am considering if I am participating in events to signal my virtue or really there to learn and listen.

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after I came out to my classmates I had a religious acquaintance tape a letter on my locker about why I was going to Hell. A lot of kids at school new about it and I used humor to brush it off but I still think about it and wish I would have stood up for myself.

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It was late at night at a party and I was very drunk. I said something to a friend and someone overheard and called me out for it. I didn't know until the morning what I said, and they were very crude sexual remarks about two people at the party. I still feel immense shame over those remarks.

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When I was in high school, my English teacher told me that she could not respect a man after seeing him cry. This affected how I behaved around women for years. It took several women in my life telling me it was okay to cry for me to unlearn that stigma.

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I made a comment that passed judgment on people who aren't vaccinated, but then was checked (rightfully so) about people who can't take time off work/can't travel to a clinic/live rural, etc. Also the people getting vaccines in certain communities are outsiders often taking slots from locals.

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Growing up, I didn't really notice the imbalance of voices heard in the classroom--but when I went college (women's college), I was suddenly shocked to realize that there was a dramatic difference in how I felt speaking up in a space of overwhelmingly women. I realized that I had been conditioned to listen to male voices, while staying silent myself. That freeing feeling was coupled with disappointment at how insidious and deeply rooted patriarchy is, even in the classroom.

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My grandpa called me on my birthday this year and told me all about my hormones and why I would be wanting to settle down and have kids and pass off "discipline" to my future husband. I don't know why I felt like I could not (and in past similar experiences have not) express how much that hurt.

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visiting family in Mexico, it was very clear that anti-black sentiment is still prevalent in mexican culture. having darker skin in the family is subtly looked down upon with a lot of jokes about skin color

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I was sitting on a bus with my legs and body spread out, and simultaneously was hearing a podcast about cismen taking up space in public. I immediately made myself small but looking around the rest of the bus realized how true/real that is...

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I attended a school in a very rural town, other than the student population there was limited diversity. My freshman year there were actually KKK flyers spread around campus. Additionally other issues persisted throughout my time there. The experience is just very eye opening that despite the argument we have come a long way from slavery, jim crow era, civil rights, etc. Until it is addressed at it's roots it will persist.

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when I was young I had a close friend with Cerebral Palsy who used a wheelchair. Her parapro at school once called me out and asked why I talked to my friend like she was much younger than me. I recognize now that I was infantilizing her because of her disability instead of seeing her as a person with similar wants and experiences as my own.

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I think I’ve been both impacted by this, and at times realized I’m perpetuating this. I think working with differently abled students has really opened my eyes to how most spaces are oriented towards able bodied people. Just a really basic example- when I first started working with my one-on-one, many teachers classrooms were arranged in a way so that I couldn’t even get her wheelchair in there. I would have to go into each class early everyday and move the desks around even though I’d asked the teachers to keep the arrangement the same- they usually didn’t think about it.  

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I think I’ve been both impacted by this, and at times realized I’m perpetuating this. I think working with differently abled students has really opened my eyes to how most spaces are oriented towards able bodied people. Just a really basic example- when I first started working with my one-on-one, many teachers classrooms were arranged in a way so that I couldn’t even get her wheelchair in there. I would have to go into each class early everyday and move the desks around even though I’d asked the teachers to keep the arrangement the same- they usually didn’t think about it.  

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I use language that is exclusive almost every day. I am continuing to learn more and more about this and challenge myself to acknowledge that my communities have been predominately able.