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As you reread this paragraph, I want you to consider the following: what do you want readers to takeaway from this paragraph and how does it connect to your overall argument? I think thinking in this way and reframing your paragraph a bit will help it fit better in the scheme of the text as a whole.

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Remember that length doesn't necessarily mean quality! When proofreading, make sure your thoughts flow nicely and make sense.

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The paragraph is too long. Make sure to focus on 2 main ideas in the paragraph to narrow the focus to shorten the paragraph. 

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The paragraph is too long. Make sure to focus on 2 main ideas in the paragraph to narrow the focus to shorten the paragraph. 

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Paragraph 3 is a bit lengthy and does not offer any new ideas. Refer back to your thesis and look at where you left off in paragraph 2. Which idea from your thesis should be coming up in paragraph 3? Make sure to use 2 quotes to support your second point.

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You can eliminate some unnecessary details from this length paragraph and include only the most significant details that relate to your evidence or support your overall claim. Your response should be clear and concise.

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Remember that your assertion must be connected to your thesis! Once you have restated your assertion using language from the prompt, your evidence must connect back to this assertion!

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In your paragraph focus on one idea that you mentioned in your introduction. Give evidence to support this idea and reasoning.

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This paragraph is a valuable part of your essay and an opportunity to truly address your assertion. Condense your paragraph by only keeping the most important point. You need to ensure that you restate your claim, give evidence, analysis/commentary. Every sentence should serve a specific purpose.

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This paragraph has some good ideas but they get lost among unnecessary thoughts-- cross out any details that do not support the main idea of the paragraph.

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This paragraph has some good ideas but they get lost among unnecessary thoughts-- cross out any details that do not support the main idea of the paragraph.

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This paragraph has some ideas for your paper, but is too long, so many of the thoughts do not seem to apply.

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Begin your paragraph with thesis statement. Then use a transitional phrase to introduce an example or detail that explains your claim. Then explain how this detail supports your claim. Repeat for 2 more details. Then summarize your argument, and transition to your next point.

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This paragraph is a little lengthy. You have some great information in it but you might consider shortening it up a little bit to make it easier for the reader to understand. For instance, consider combining the third and fourth sentences.

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A strong supporting paragraph will make a clear point. That point should be supported by evidence, which should then be elaborated upon. Clearly state your point, reinforce it with evidence, then drive it home by explaining how the evidence enhances your idea.

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"This paragraph is too long and does;t say anything."

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"This paragraph is too long and does;t say anything."

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This paragraph does not support your thesis. Incorporate a supporting detail you outlined in your thesis into your topic sentence and add textual evidence that specifically supports your claim.

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Each paragraph should support your main idea, and this paragraph, while it summarizes the text you read, does not. Next time, explain clearly why your summary supports your answer.

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Each paragraph should support your main idea, and this paragraph, while it summarizes the text you read, does not. Next time, explain clearly why your summary supports your answer.

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Remember that each paragraph should start with a clear topic sentence. What is your main point here? Once you've written that, shorten the rest of the paragraph so that everything proves ONLY that point!

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Find the most important thing you are trying to say and make sure it is supported with information either from a text or from a topic you are researching.

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Make sure your paragraph has a sub-claim and organize your evidence and reasoning around it. This will help organize your essay and make each paragraph feel purposeful.

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Make sure your paragraph has a sub-claim and organize your evidence and reasoning around it. This will help organize your essay and make each paragraph feel purposeful.

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Consider discussing 3 specific examples in this paragraph. This will help you more specifically support your argument and provide tangible evidence rather than provide a broad and generalized culmination of ideas.

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Consider discussing 3 specific examples in this paragraph. This will help you more specifically support your argument and provide tangible evidence rather than provide a broad and generalized culmination of ideas.

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Pick a topic/idea that you're going to focus this paragraph on. Form a intro statement introducing the idea. Use the rest of your paragraph to support your previously stated idea. Each sentence should add/support your main idea. 

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Pick a topic/idea that you're going to focus this paragraph on. Form a intro statement introducing the idea. Use the rest of your paragraph to support your previously stated idea. Each sentence should add/support your main idea. 

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Add more specific details to your paragraph- try citing 3 specific examples that support your thesis. Make sure each example clearly relates to the direction of your paper.

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Add more specific details to your paragraph- try citing 3 specific examples that support your thesis. Make sure each example clearly relates to the direction of your paper.

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Make sure that you provide straightforward & concise information. You should focus on one thing in this paragraph.

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"This paragraph is too long and it doesn't say anything, change it."

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"This paragraph is too long and it doesn't say anything, change it."

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There are problems with concision in this paragraph, look for words or sentences that can be eliminated without taking out meaning. Also, the paragraph starts out in an unfocused way. Remember, start with a specific topic sentence then use that as a guide for the rest of the paragraph.
- Matt, Mississippi

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Your paragraph must tell your reader facts and information that defends your main argument. This paragraph contains a lot of information, but it is not clear how all of those details relate to your main argument. In order to make this paragraph more effective, you should take out information that does not relate to your thesis and add sentences that explain how the information connects to your thesis. If the information fits in other paragraphs, try adding it there.

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The paragraph contains a lot of thoughts but fails to mention specific details to the various topics mentioned. Choose one area of focus within this paragraph and elaborate with examples and details. Take the second topic mentioned in this paragraph and put it into a separate paragraph and include examples and evidence that relates. This will help keep your ideas organized.

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When writing it is important that all of your words have a purpose. Right now these ideas seem disconnected. Try using the paragraph before and after to transition your ideas into the point you are trying to make here. If you find that the do not connect, maybe these ideas belong as parts of other paragraphs.

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You can make this paragraph stronger by giving concrete details and evidence to support your claim. Also, break up your details into smaller body paragraphs so your paragraph is not this long.

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You can make this paragraph stronger by giving concrete details and evidence to support your claim. Also, break up your details into smaller body paragraphs so your paragraph is not this long.

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The paragraph here is too long. Consider breaking it up by taking the first idea you introduce and expanding it in its own paragraph. Then do the same with the second idea you introduced in the original paragraph.

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From: "This paragraph is too long and doesn't say anything." 

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From: "This paragraph is too long and doesn't say anything." 

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To: "You would be better served by boiling this paragraph down to its essential idea. When writing your next draft take a few minutes to really consider what point you are trying to make in this paragraph and what you would like the reader to take away from it. Then write it as succinctly as you are able."

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Make sure your evidence is concise. After your thesis sentence, condense your ideas into three supporting sentences to back up your claim.

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This paragraph is long and doesn't completely connect back to your argument! Revisit your thesis and edit this paragraph to ensure that it supports your claim.

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You have a lot of details in your paragraph but you need to focus on one topic/detail per paragraph.

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You have a lot of details in your paragraph but you need to focus on one topic/detail per paragraph.

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This paragraph has good ideas, but needs to be broken up into shorter paragraphs that focus on a single idea that connects to your thesis statement.

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This paragraph is generally well-written but doesn't show a clear connection to your overall topic. You have a great thesis statement- now how do you clearly state the connection that you made in your thesis statement to the information you've provided in this paragraph?

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This paragraph is hearty but doesn't support the main idea. Add supporting details to back up the original message.

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This paragraph has great depth, but it is a little repetitive. First, figure out what your main idea is. Then, try and cut out any added information that does not directly relate to your main idea and cut out sentences that repeat the same idea in a row.

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From: "This paragraph is long and doesn’t say anything, change it."
To: "Identify the focus topic in this paragraph. Remove any sentences that cover another topic or relocate them to another paragraph.
-Chris, Memphis