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An infographic on using gender neutral language when greeting people.

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An infographic on using gender neutral language when greeting people. https://t.co/6esaX8Wfh7

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There are two types of challenges that we can face, internal and external. LGBT people in school face both of these challenges for different reasons. Some examples of external challenges LGBT people face are bullying, microaggressions (small gestures that still uphold the system that oppresses LGBT people), or difficulty finding a partner. Some examples of internal challenges LGBT people can face are conflict about their identities, mental health afflictions (depression, anxiety, complex ptsd, etc), self-hatred, the urge to self harm, or the presence of suicidal thoughts.

One of my closest friends' (let's call him Dirk) gender identity was pushed to the side for his entire life. Because of things like his abusive father and his family's struggle to make ends meet, he never spent time thinking about his gender, like many other LGBT children whom have trouble at home. He always dressed masculine, and would frequently be called "young man" by unknowing friends' parents - and while everyone in the room was embarrassed, he never seemed to care. His only response was "Actually, I'm biologically female," and would chuckle as said parent apologized profusely.

During the winter of our junior year, he came out to me as transgender online, and already being an activist for almost two years, I was excited to help him come up with a nice nickname that made him feel more comfortable. After this, he slowly came out to our group of friends at school; some of them laughed and said they already knew. I remember feeling so lit up about his "new" identity, and was enthusiastic to relay the message to everyone, including his teachers. However, I knew that we had to take things slowly, because one wrong move could make him the victim bullying by his peers, and alienation by his teachers.

A few months later, most of our friends knew Dirk's preferred name, and what pronouns to use when talking about him in the third person. When he joined marching band the following season, I made a point to speak loudly when referring to him with masculine pronouns around our band director and the staff. Twice a week in the summer we would rehearse, and by the time we went to band camp up in Pennsylvania, many of the members of the ensemble caught on to Dirk's identity. It didn't take the staff long to understand, either. My band director asked our drum major what was going on, and she simply told him "Dirk is a guy, and prefers to be referred to with he/him pronouns when talked about in the third person." And with that, I spent my last band season beside one of my closest friends, and knowing that the staff and most of the students in the ensemble were on board with Dirk's identity made me so happy.

However, Dirk had dark times throughout those two years just as many LGBT students do. Forced to use the girls' bathroom out of fear, he felt incredibly out of place. During band camp, I waited for him outside of the shower in the girls' bathroom and comforted him afterwards for about an hour in my dorm. These types of struggles are extremely common within the transgender population, and the unique and heart-wrenching feeling of not being comfortable with (one or more aspects of) your physical body is called dysphoria.

Many of his teachers (two of them we shared) were confused because he was listed as female, along with his birth name, on the class roster. There was one particular teacher that we both shared that would refer to him as a girl, no matter how loudly I articulated my 'he's and 'him's. However, since he never contacted his teachers to explain his identity, I can't blame our teacher that much. But whenever she misgendered Dirk, it made both of us extremely uncomfortable. I do believe that if one student consistently refers to a friend of theirs with a certain set of pronouns in front of an educator (for an entire year), that educator should catch on somewhat.

I will say this: radical change requires education, commitment and willingness to unlearn harmful concepts (whether they are sociopolitical or not). All faculty in educational systems must be fully educated about the LGBT community. For example, many people refuse to acknowledge the existence of bisexual people, using arguments like "just pick a side", or "you're just confused". Obviously, not everyone is open about their opinions, especially educators. An educator that is uninformed about LGBT culture and identities may not say anything offensive, but if a student came to them for help, their negative and inaccurate opinions would influence their response. LGBT students are running out of safe places and people to turn to, and it shows in the statistics; suicide is the leading cause of death of gay and lesbian youth in the US. This is why teaching educators about the intricacies of their identities could change and even save lives.

Holly Jarrett

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What LGBT Students Need in Schools: Teachers, It's Up to You | Edutopia

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There are two types of challenges that we can face, internal and external. LGBT people in school face both of these challenges for different reasons. Some examples of external challenges LGBT people face are bullying, microaggressions (small gestures that still uphold the system that oppresses LGBT people), or difficulty finding a partner.

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When we meet a newborn baby, most of us ask the same question: boy or girl? Often, the answer is easy. Often, but not always.

Meet Alex, a fourth-grader in Madison, Wis., with long, blond hair, a lanky build and a broad smile. When you meet Alex, you see a clever, confident kid who can move a mile a minute. You see what is obvious.

Boy or girl?

When we meet people for the first time, we look for gender cues in a way so automated we don't even know we're doing it. Long hair? Dress? Makeup? Female. Buzz cut? Broad shoulders? Ball cap? Male. We make these categorizations in a split second dozens of times every day.

Then someone like Alex (we used a pseudonym to protect Alex's privacy) walks into the room, and everything we thought we knew about gender flies out the window.

Gender may seem simple, but the myths surrounding this concept mask its true complexity. Experts who work with youth and gender issues tell us the two most common myths are these: First, gender is binary, offering only two options; second, gender and sex are the same thing. Summed up, the myth goes like this: Every person is either male or female, and the distinction is based on that person's anatomy.

In the parlance of gender development, sex exists between your legs-it's your biology, your chromosomes, your anatomy. Gender exists between your ears-it's how you feel about yourself. Kids develop a sense of gender identity by age two or three, says Diane Ehrensaft, author of Gender Born, Gender Made.

For most kids, birth sex and gender identity match. This population is referred to as being cisgender. In some cases, though, children's gender identity-how they feel about themselves-differs from their biology. Some kids know their gender identities and birth sexes don't match almost as soon as they begin to talk. For some it is as simple as wishing to swap one gender for another-"I was born a girl, but I'm really a boy." For others, their sense of gender exists somewhere between male and female, at various points along what is known as the gender spectrum.

The terminology used to describe these identities is vast and evolving. Gender nonconforming and transgender (the "T" in LGBT) are common terms. Increasingly popular are such phrases as gender independent, gender creative, gender expansive and gender diverse.

The common meaning of these terms: The rigid expectations of my birth sex do not match my understanding of who I am.

Alex has adamantly shirked gender boxes since the age of three, refusing to be called boy or girl. Alex doesn't mind alternating between gendered pronouns, "he" or "she," though Alex feels most comfortable chucking pronouns altogether. Alex's preferred gender descriptor is gender fluid.

Gender-diverse kids like Alex face a plethora of binary gender expectations in school: girl/boy lines, seating charts, bathrooms, locker rooms and dress codes. There are rules about who can play "Annie" in the school play, wear a tuxedo to the prom, try out for the football team or be voted homecoming queen.

Then there is the conflation of gender identity-how we feel on the inside-and gender expression-how we present our gender to the world through hairstyle, clothing and behaviors.

Gender expression is often curtailed by our society's gender norms-the expectations and assumptions that govern how a girl or boy is supposed to look, act, dress and play. These arbitrary norms are ubiquitous: Children's toothbrushes come in pink or blue; the toy aisles in big box stores are labeled girl (full of dolls and kitchen sets) and boy (full of trucks, LEGO sets and toy tools).

Miriam Hall, a contributor to the anthology Trans-Kin: A Guide for Family and Friends of Transgender People, shares the story of a friend's 11-year-old son who dresses in pink and loves sparkles and dolls. "He is very clear at all times that he is a boy," says Hall.

When people mistake him for a girl, he says, "Boys get to be like this. Anyone can be like this. Don't limit me to what you think boys are."

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When we meet a newborn baby, most of us ask the same question: boy or girl? Often, the answer is easy. Often, but not always. Meet Alex, a fourth-grader in Madison, Wis., with long, blond hair, a lanky build and a broad smile.