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Since our family has moved cities, and both John and I are working, we have needed to find a care center for Atlas to attend during the day. The current plan is to start with a Montessori school.

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My partner, John, and I have been wanting to start a family together. In hoping, we have been trying to think of any genetic obstacles that we may be presented with. We are able to gather information from myself and my ancestry, but John was adopted at birth and we have no records as to his family history and genetic makeup. We are very concerned as to what conditions our future children may have.
One of these concerns is Huntington's disease. This disease is fatal and targets the central nervous system. Even though my partner was not affected by this disease as a child, he could still be affected throughout midlife, and we could have many children before he would know. We are also concerned with the possibility of our future children showing signs of Alzheimer's disease and sickle-cell disease. The possible diseases that concern me and my partner the most are those that are harder to detect, and symptoms don't start showing until later in childhood or life.
John and myself both understand that rewards often come with risks, especially when that reward is conceiving a child. We want to do everything in our power to make sure that our child will be healthy. My partner and I have decided to go through some testing to help determine if there is more risk than normal, and if there is, we will be consulting with our doctor as to the next steps. We just want to bring a child into this world that we can call our own, but we don't want them to be punished for something out of their control.

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My partner and I were so excited when we found out that we were expecting! We have been very cautious throughout this process, and have been receiving care since my fourth week of pregnancy. Since discovering my pregnancy, we have been constantly considering how we want to experience the birth of our child. I, personally, would love to have a natural birth within a hospital with doctors and nurses checking on my every move. If need be, it would be very comforting to be so close to doctors in case of an emergency that can only be dealt with at a hospital, like moving to having a c-section. My partner is truly the most supportive person in the world. He doesn't really have an opinion as to how I give birth because he just wants me to be comfortable and safe, but is also pro-hospital for others. I have nothing against the other options at all, every women has their opinion and knows where they will be the most comfortable, and I know I would be the most comfortable surround by doctors, nurses, and my family. I would also not like starting out at home, and then having to endure a ride to the hospital when I am further along in labor.

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He's here and he's perfect! John and I are so amazed at what we created, and took our time choosing a name. We ended up naming our son Atlas which dignifies strength. Atlas is a well-behaved baby, and actually sleeps pretty well now that he is two years old. When he was born he was more fussy, but he was getting less than the average amount of sleep for infants. We wanted our child to experience an easy development, so we incorporated a lot of stimulants into the room decorations and toys. Instead of just painting his walls a neutral color, we hand drew some animals and plants onto his walls and put some toys in the crib that would scrunch instead of being filled with stuffing. Feeding wise, I always knew that I would breastfeed if I could, and that's what we've been doing! I wanted to make sure that Atlas got the most nutrients that he could, and that comes from breastmilk. We also didn't let a ton of family visit us in the hospital or during the first couple of weeks, but once we got accustomed to our new routine, we let family come quite often so Atlas can start making those connections with names and faces.

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At about the age of 12 months, Atlas began pronouncing words. They weren't fully pronounced, but we could tell what he was trying to say. Up until this point, he would just be cooing and babbling, but he would be using hand gestures to communicate. For example, he would put his fingertips together to signal that he wanted more of something. To help Atlas get to the point where he could start pronouncing words, we would really pronounce what we were saying so he could hear syllables, consonants, and vowels. We knew we couldn't speak in our normal ways around him, and that we had to speak very simply. Whenever we would speak, we would use these hand gestures that he is now using so he could start correlating meaning with the word. Also, wherever we were, we would find ways to teach Atlas new things. For example, we would teach him the names of things, and would help him pronounce things when he tried to mimic back. By helping Atlas along the way, and not pushing him hard, he began speaking in very short sentences just recently. We are very excited to see how much he develops in the next few months, and we can't wait to teach him more!

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I love Atlas with all my heart, but it's really hard to show it. After giving birth, I have slipped into a bit of postpartum depression. It's become difficult to express my emotions, and I don't know what to do. John understands it, and knows that sometimes I just need to step away. He has been the best supporter throughout this rough patch. Atlas has been spending a lot of time with his father during this time, and whenever I feel like trying to bond with him, he cries for his father or is distant. He is still getting nutrients from breastmilk that we have stored away, but that is some bonding time with me that we are both losing. I know I need to be with him, but it's just hard sometimes. Within the past couple of months I have started to feel happier and healthier. I have been spending less time away from, and more time with Atlas and John. Atlas is starting to recognize more facial expressions and smiles a lot more. I feel that once I am completely through this rough bit of time, I will be more expressive and animated again. This will also benefit Atlas because he will mimic me instead of crying at an unresponsive adult. We are on the mend!

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I can't believe how much Atlas has grown since I last had time to write. I am so proud of the young man he is becoming, and I can't wait to see where he goes from here.

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It's crazy to think that at only 2 years old, Atlas' brain is already around 75% developed. He shows this by sleeping a little more regularly, and I just hope that it becomes even more regular has he moves out of toddlerhood. Atlas is able to walk now, but he does bump into stuff easily and falls down quite a bit. Although he takes a tumble once in awhile, he is always smiling anymore and is just super excited whenever John or I am around to play.

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In just about a years time, Atlas has become much more able to stand and hop around without falling over. His gross motor skills are continuing to develop, and he is able to control and move his whole body. His fine motor skills are also continuing to develop. For example, Atlas has been helping in the kitchen by peeling bananas whenever I need them for a baking recipe. He has also been starting to write capital letters and draw basic shapes.

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We recently built a small play set in our backyard and Atlas just loves it! He loves swinging on his own with us pushing him once in a while. He has also taken up a hobby in gymnastics which is very exciting. I took dance classes as a little girl and I would love to see Atlas take up the same kind of interest. He has also become aware of time, and is very aware when it is almost bedtime.

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He is starting school and it is very exciting for us all. Atlas often comes home with coloring pages and is becoming amazing at coloring in the lines, and imagining what he wants the picture to look like in his head before coloring. Atlas has also been balancing better, and always wants to show off how long he can stand on one foot.

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Since being at a Montessori school, Atlas has been given individual attention as opposed to group attention. This has really benefitted him because he has been given certain tasks to bring home and work on to help improve his speech capabilities and brain functioning. Atlas has proven that he knows words and their associated definitions, but he is having difficulty getting to pronunciations to come out.

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During these years, Atlas has been transferring from his current Montessori school to a teacher led institution. After receiving individual attention at his previous school, Atlas has shown significant growth. He is able to use his vocabulary to connect with others and start making friendship connections outside of the group of people he knowns.

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At his teacher-directed school, Atlas hasn't been receiving as much individual attention as he had previously been given. This set him back a little at first, but he has been receiving one-on-one attention at home and that has really helped. The Montessori school he previously attended had given the right motivations to continue his learning, and he had pushed through his trouble spots. So, now we are using this school as a way to introduce to how he will be learning in an elementary school.

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Ever since Atlas was born, he has been a very calm and easy-going child. Lately though he has been showing more sign of aggression. I don't think it's much to worry about for the time being, but I am scared in the future it will be too much. So, we've given him some small cushiony animal toys to play with, and he seems to have been using them as a friend.

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Atlas has become such a little spitfire. He has begun to understand what he is feeling, and shares it quite often. We used to praise him for all that he did, and we have slowly been letting go of rewards and punishments. He is highly aware of this and hates that he doesn't receive instant gratification anymore.

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Since Atlas has been a tad more outgoing, to put it lightly, we have been working with his child care staff to implement some of their techniques to calm him down at home, and they seem to be working. We have been spending more one-on-one time with him, rather than overwhelming him with large groups of family. He seems to be responding well to this, and is starting to want to play with others more.

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You know how I said Atlas has been wanting to play more? Well, he is big into wrestling these days. My brother and I used to watch wrestling when we were growing up, and we used to wrestle each other when we were in a silly mood. So, I understand where this is coming from. The problem is though that he doesn't have a sibling close enough in age to play with all the time, and he can't have friends over all day and every day. We have establishing more boundaries and he seems to be taking well, but I wish he was more open to others his age to have more friends to play with.

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Atlas has been diagnosed with mild ASD. John and I were scared at first at what kinds of treatments are available and what could have caused it. We've been doing our own research apart from what the doctor's have been telling us. Atlas has become more reserved as he has gotten older, and we just want to protect him. We have seen how our society and culture treats individuals with this disorder, and that the treatment is not good. We have been implementing ways of talking to him in ways that are easier for him to understand, and to help him read. Atlas has proven that he understands words and their definitions, he just doesn't want to communicate to his full extent. Part of this, I believe, is from how his classmates have treated him. He is being bullied at school for being different, and it is hurting him more than helping him be stronger.

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Now that Atlas is in his later half of elementary school, he has been introduced into special education classes and programs at his school, and they have been really beneficial. His teachers aren't focusing so much as the accuracy of his work or words, but rather on his effort and when he shows that he understands certain concepts. He hasn't been getting bullied as severely as he was throughout first and second grade. The treatment he has been provided and reoccurring screenings have been help to determine his progression compared to others his age. He is still behind his fellow classmates, but he is doing the best he can and who are we to ask for more. All that we can do, as his family and teachers, is praise his accomplishments and progress.

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After speaking with multiple doctors and Atlas's teachers at school, we have decided to come up with an IEP, an individual education plan, for Atlas to follow while he is in school. Besides having and IEP, Atlas has also been placed into a least restrictive environment where he will be able to grow mostly at his own place without being held to such high standards as the rest of the students his age. His teachers have been very kind and encouraging about continuing his learning at home. It hasn't been easy, but Atlas seems to be showing progress. He hasn't been super aggressive and seems to being enjoying his classes. He hasn't said it out loud yet, but I know he also enjoys being in the company of other students with the same disorder as him. It shows him he is not alone and that he doesn't have to try and hide his feelings and emotions until they bubble up and explode out of him.

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The older Atlas gets, the more prouder of him John and I become. Atlas no longer needs repeated intervention until he understands a concept, but he typically understands them now with rewording of sentences of phrases. One thing that Atlas has really grown to love is music. He doesn't like to talk as often or sing, but he likes playing instruments and has shown to us that it keeps him calm in stressful situations. He has shown a keen interest in his chorus class at school, and his teacher has taken notice and sent numerous notes home saying that he has a gift, and that we should continue with his music education outside of school.

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Although John and I have been having our own issues to deal with, we always try to put Atlas above everything else. His health and safety will always be out number one priority. John's job is at stake with CAT, and we don't know whether to stay and fight it or move. Currently we don't live relatively near immediate family, and I've seen CAT lay off my dad before and never reinstate him when they were showing hiring ads. I don't want the same thing to happen to John, because that stress is going to be reflected upon Atlas and we don't think he will be very resilient. Atlas doesn't need our stress about financials stacked upon his uneasiness about school. He has been getting bullied pretty aggressively at school and often comes home early. We are just trying to come up with the best solution for him, where we don't have to worry financially.

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Within the past couple of years, we have transferred our household out of Illinois and closer to family. John has found a stable job that is similar to what he was doing with CAT, and it pays better which is another bonus. Atlas has been transitioning to a new special needs school very close to where we live, and he appears to be doing better than he was at his old school. He isn't getting bullied as hard because he is now surrounded with other individuals like him who have gone through the same kind of struggles. His self-esteem seems to have risen because he seems more confident in his vocabulary and work. He also seems to not be comparing himself to others who don't have his disorder anymore because he isn't being pressured to act normal like them. John and I are very proud of where Atlas had gotten to from where he started, and can't wait to see where he goes from here.

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We have done it. We have successfully made it through the first 11 years of Atlas' life. To say these have been the best years of my life would be an understatement. Looking back on these past 11 years, I cherish all of the joy and happiness the memories bring, but I can't forget about the setbacks and hardships. Atlas has been the saving grace in our lives, and we are continuing to do what is best for him and his future. John and myself have definitely learned a lot throughout this past decade, especially about ASD. We are now able to share our knowledge of the topic with other new parents so they know how to cope better and not stress so much. Looking back, we realize that there are things we could have done differently. For example, we could have been taking him to more doctors visits earlier in his life and saw the signs of ASD before he was older. Recognizing signs is so important when trying to understand when something is wrong. I truly believe that John and I have done the best that we can, but there is always going to be that feeling "could I have done more," but we can't dwell on the past. We hope that we have done enough to give Atlas the best future that he can have, and that he can learn from out mistakes.