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Take a photo that you feel captures the important conflict/theme in the memoir. Pair it with an     explanation.

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Take a photo that you feel captures the important conflict/theme in the memoir. Pair it with an     explanation.

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Canada’s autumn is an amazing season to tourists since they can find that the same type of trees can have different colors of leaves in the same time and same location. In the picture, some trees have green leaves, some have red leaves, and some have green leaves turning red. However, the different colors of leaves do not make some trees different from others; in contrast, the only reason why the trees have different colors of leaves is that different trees greet and get ready for winter at their own pace. Similarly, in Look Me in the Eye, John always acts and thinks in a different way than others, but that does not make John a weird and different person than others. As an Aspergian, John is often considered weird by others, but the only difference between him and others is he just communicates and thinks in a special way. John does not deserve the unfair treatment from other people because it is not his fault to live with his own pace and his own unique style; just like the trees, different colors of leaves do not make some trees weird, and people who choose to live with their own style should not be considered “different”.

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Find a song that you think would make a fitting theme song for a film adaptation of the memoir. Explain your choice.  

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Find a song that you think would make a fitting theme song for a film adaptation of the memoir. Explain your choice.  

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In the song “Someone to Stay” by the Vancouver Sleep Clinic and the book Look Me in the Eye, both the vocalist and John from the book look for someone who can understand them and accompany them when they feel lonely. In the song, the vocalist sings:

You were alone
Left out in the cold
Clinging to the ruin
Of your broken home
Hear you falling and alone
Cry out
Will you fix me up?
Will you show me hope? (Bettinson 2017)

The lyrics show the vocalist’s loneliness, and he sings that he cries in his broken home for someone to fix him up. He knows that he suffers from the previous trauma, which makes him cling to the ruin in the cold alone. However, he cannot stop himself from falling, and this is the reason why he needs someone to help him overcome his trauma as well as make him believe that his life is hopeful. Likewise, John also looks for someone to heal his wound from his family of origin, and luckily, he finds his second wife Martha, who plays a significant role in John’s life. When John shares the things that keep the two of them together, he writes:

Third, she is patient when I ask the same questions over and over. For example, at noon most days I phone her and say, “Woof! Do you like your mate?” (Elder 255)

John is an Aspergian, and he sometimes behaves in a very different way than others. For instance, he asks Martha whether she loves him for lots of times, but Martha never appears to be impatient. Before Martha, most of the people consider his behavior weird, but Martha never shows that kind of reaction, and this gives John a sense of security and makes him believe that Martha actually loves him. Just like the vocalist, John also has the trauma experience since he grows up in an unhappy family. John is afraid of having a marriage like his parents, but Martha shows up in John’s life, gives him the sense of security and brings him joy. For John, Martha is the one who the vocalist looks for.

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Vancouver Sleep Clinic - Someone to Stay (Audio)

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Make a connection between the memoir and something that is happening in the world today.    Be sure to include external sources.

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Make a connection between the memoir and something that is happening in the world today.    Be sure to include external sources.

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In Look Me in the Eye, John is undiagnosed for his autism until his 40s since the professionals at that time do not have a very clear understanding about the symptoms of Asperger’s; nowadays, many female autistics people still face the same problem. As a high-functioning autistic person, John grows up facing others’ unfair views towards him. John’s parents take him to many mental health professionals, but none of them come up with the right diagnosis:

Autism was viewed by many as a much more extreme condition—one where kids never talked and could not take care of themselves. Rather than take a close and sympathetic look at me, it proved easier and less controversial for the professionals to say I was just lazy, or angry, or defiant (70).

The incomplete knowledge towards Asperger’s leads to the misdiagnoses of John. As John does not get the help that he needs but negative evaluation, he considers himself as defective and becomes unconfident, and he says that he believes that his life may change completely if he is diagnosed with autism at an early age. Unfortunately, though the understanding of autism continually improves, there are still lots of females who have autism but are misdiagnosed today. The knowledge towards autism of most people is based on male-sided symptoms, for instance, low social capacity. However, “in actuality, women often have very different traits”(Leary). According to Healthline, females are more likely to hide their symptoms by imitating the behaviors of others; in addition to this, females with autism often appear to have depression or anxiety, which also makes female autistics people more likely to be misdiagnosed. For one of the autistic females Katy, she often receives comments saying that she does not have autism because she does not appear to be different, but she does not like this kind of comment since she thinks that this implies autistic can never be “normal”. Therefore, whether in the book or in reality, people’s awareness of autism still needs to improve so that people with autism can be diagnosed earlier and get the proper help.

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Women with autism experience autism differently: They're usually diagnosed later in life, they're commonly misdiagnosed first, and they experience symptoms in ways that men don't.

And that's exactly why Katy from invisible i is opening up about her own story.

Katy explains that, in the past, people have questioned whether she actually had autism.

"[I got] a lot of comments saying 'you're not autistic, I don't see any autistic traits' [and] 'you're completely normal, you're not autistic,'" she says.

For Katy, this felt like both a backhanded compliment and degrading. She explains that while people are complimenting her for conforming and fitting into society, they're also implying that people on the autism spectrum can never be normal or fit in.

Katy puts these comments down to the fact that people are looking for symptoms that are widely portrayed and understood as "male-sided symptoms" - the ones that men and boys on the spectrum experience.

But, in actuality, women often have very different autistic traits.

"We as females and women on the spectrum experience completely different symptoms. They are ignored, they're not understood, and they're thrown to one side and, because of that, people then think 'you're not autistic because you're not experiencing the "male" symptoms,'" Katy says.

One common symptom people tend to mix-up are those surrounding social skills.

A common belief is that in order to be on the spectrum you have to have really low social capacity, to be socially awkward, and to not enjoy social situations at all, Katy explains.

This is very much a trait found in males, but not in females.

Because women are socialized to be adept at social skills, Katy says, many women with autism are able to get by and adapt to seem like they're not struggling in social settings.

Katy says that she's constantly acting and putting on a show when she's in social situations, and people usually can't tell that she's faking it.

People are also often looking for that one "special interest" - a trait that often means forming an intense, passionate interest about one thing or a few things and learning everything about that topic.

Once again, this is a very male oriented-trait, and one that females don't tend to experience, Kat explains.

If, however, a woman does have a special interest, these may be viewed as more "age-appropriate or typically 'girly,'" so people don't question it.

The biggest challenge women with autism face, Katy explains, is that they're diagnosed with autism because of their mental health problems, as opposed to their autistic traits.

"We're diagnosed after experiencing a ton of mental health problems," she explains.

This, however, is not the case for males.

"Whereas boys are diagnosed because of their autistic traits, females are diagnosed because of the toll that being autistic takes on their mental health," Katy adds.

By speaking out as a woman with autism herself, Katy is hoping to push back against the scripts that hold women with autism back. Using her voice and her platform, she's creating visibility for a community that's too often left out of the conversation.
Alaina Leary is an editor, social media manager, and writer from Boston, Massachusetts. She's currently the assistant editor of Equally Wed Magazine and a social media editor for the nonprofit We Need Diverse Books.

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Autism in Women Is Misunderstood. One Woman Shows Us Why

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Autism in women is often misunderstood and, for individuals like Katy, it can result in not being believed. To help fight against this, she clarifies how some of the more well-known autism symptoms present themselves differently in women and men.

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Discuss connections you’ve drawn this text and yourself

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Discuss connections you’ve drawn this text and yourself

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Everyone is unique, but John and I both feel ashamed of our differences from others at first, and eventually realize that it is not our fault to be different. Before John knows that he has Asperger, he is not able to respond to others' request to look them in the eye, and he doubts himself for this, “And yet I felt ashamed, because people expected me to do it, and I knew it, and yet I didn’t. So what was wrong with me?” (2). John does not understand why he acts differently than others and blames this on himself, and I have the same problem when “it” comes. “It” is a period of time that I feel really really upset for no reason. When “it” comes, I always become extremely depressed without anything bad happening and lose the desire to do everything including talking and eating; what I can do is just lie on the bed and let the negative emotions overwhelm me. I never know why “it” comes, or when “it” comes, or how long “it” lasts. Though my life goes very well and there is no reason for me to feel sad, “it” still comes, and I cannot help but feel down; this makes me see myself as a thankless person since I have a really good life but still feel sad. “It” sometimes makes me consider myself as psychologically ill, but I never find a mental disease that is consistent with “it”. I feel ashamed of feeling upset for no reason just like John feels ashamed of acting differently than others. We both consider the differences between us and others as our fault. However, fortunately, we both get rid of our negative impression towards our difference in the end. John is found to be Aspergian and this explains why he acts differently; for me, I find that some people have a certain emotional cycle and feel down on certain days in a period, which is consistent with “it”. For me and John, it is a relief to know that we are not sick and there are other people who act and think in the same way as us, “The realization was staggering. There are other people like me. So many, in fact, that they have a name for us” (Elder 248). Therefore, I resonate with John’s experiences of doubting ourselves deeply.

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Provide a close analytical reading of a passage that you find particularly significant.

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Provide a close analytical reading of a passage that you find particularly significant.

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In Chapter 24 in Look Me in the Eye, John Elder redefines himself in a more positive way and learns to act more normally after he is diagnosed with Asperger’s. In this chapter, John’s friend TR, who is a therapist, brings John a book that describes Asperger’s symptoms, and John finds that the description of Asperger fits him exactly. Before John realizes that he is an Aspergian, he always feels like he cannot fit in the society but does not understand why, “I had never realized my behavior was unusual. I had never understood why people treated me the way they did” (Elder 237). In John’s perspective, he is not only recognized as weird by others in his life, but also is treated in an unfair and mean way. John blames everything on himself; consequently, he considers himself as different in a negative way, and he sometimes even sees himself as a fraud or a sociopath. However, the diagnosis makes him change his attitude towards himself and enables him to realize that it is not his fault that he acts in a different way. After John learns more about Asperger’s, he is not ashamed of himself anymore, nor does he feel excluded. John starts to define himself as normal, and he learns to appreciate the difference between himself and others, “So I’m not defective. In fact, in recent years I have started to see that we Aspergians are better than normal” (240). John feels relieved that he is not flawed; instead, he even begins to see his difference as an advantage. This diagnosis not only enables John to accept himself mentally, but also allows him to try to act in a more normal way; for instance, he learns to look people in the eye or pause before responding to others, “Changes like these have made a huge difference in how people perceive me” (240). John benefits a lot from this diagnosis since it changes his way of acting, so John is able to have a more normal life and reduce his communication difficulty. Therefore, this diagnosis mentally and physically changes John’s life to a large extent.