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The short story, How to Share Your Home With a Ghost by Amber Sparks, details the situation where a ghost haunts the home of a family that consists of the mother, the older daughter, and the younger son. The story follows the ghost’s efforts to be recognized and seen by the individuals who reside in the house, rather than actively avoided.

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The story begins with an introduction of the ghost, her role and initial relationship with the family. At the start of the story, even though the family was aware of the presence of the ghost in their home, they chose to deliberately ignore her, as well as explored ways to exorcise her from their home. This section of the story also details how they decided to attempt to coexist with the ghost by giving her chores after their unsuccessful efforts to remove the ghost.

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The rising action of the story was evident with the ghost’s interactions with the neighbor and with the members of the family. The first interaction between the ghost and the neighbor was when the latter visited the family’s home to ask for the music playing to be turned down. During the weekend, the ghost also attempted to interact with each of the three members of the family, but she was unsuccessful.

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The story reached its climax in  the scene where the ghost was asked by the neighbor why she was so unhappy, thus prompting her to overturn the furniture and rummage through drawers to find a clue that would explain how she was feeling. When the family arrived back at their home, greeted by the sight of the ghost surrounded by the mess she made, the mother demanded an answer from her, earning the response that she just wanted to be seen and recognized.

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The falling action occurred when the mother began to finally see the ghost and acknowledge her existence.

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The story concludes itself with the ghost being accepted and acknowledged by the entire family, as seen when she and the daughter stared into each other’s eyes with silent understanding.

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When observed at the literal level, the conflict portrayed in the story was how the behavior of the family hinders the ghost’s goal of being seen and acknowledged as they chose to continuously ignore her and actively avoid any interactions with her until they are forced to do so.

This conflict can be observed in the following passages, among others found in the story:

“They avoid her whenever possible; they step around the dark, dense hole in the fabric of their home.”

“The mother is crying in the bathroom, silently, but she is also a tough nut to crack; she turns on the water when the ghost tries to question her.”

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However, when the story is analyzed on a deeper level, the conflict depicted is human vs. self, as the ghost is an embodiment or symbol of the depression the mother experiences due to her regrets regarding the life she was not able to pursue because she was thrust into the role of motherhood. The entire journey of the ghost trying to be seen by the family symbolizes the difficult process of denying, but eventually accepting and acknowledging her depression in order to grant herself the opportunity to heal and move on.

This conflict and the symbolism of the ghost being an embodiment of the mother’s depression will be expounded upon in the discussion of the characters of the story.

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Through the mention of the ghost living in a brownstone building, it can be inferred that the story was set in New York City, as this type of structure first appeared and was constructed in that area in the early 19th century. While it could have been concluded that the story occurred either in Brooklyn or in Manhattan since these are the places where these buildings are more commonly found nowadays, the detail regarding the door being fastened back in 1922 solidified the claim that the story occurred in New York.

Reference: https://archive.curbed.com/2016/6/2/11833698/brownstone-greystone-chicago-new-york-city

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The phrase “clicks on New York Times recipes” indicates that the use of technology is already prevalent in the time that the story is set in due to it being used for common, daily use such as browsing through recipes online. Therefore, it can be inferred that the story took place in the 21st Century.

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As we have already confirmed through the commonplace use of technology that the story occurred in the 21st Century, it is through the presence and mention of these iconic characters that the specific decade that the story occurred in can be narrowed down to and thereby determined. While The Nightmare Before Christmas (Jack Skellington) was released in 1993, it was through the mention of Rapunzel from Tangled and Elsa from Frozen, whose movies were released in 2010 and 2013 respectively, that it can be gathered that the story occurred in the 2010s, as this was the decade where these iconic characters came from and gained the most popularity among children.

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In literature, ghosts are typically used to symbolize an individual’s feelings of sorrow, regret, or vengeance, and it was in the beginning of the work that we were able to see that the ghost holds many regrets regarding her life, specifically that of the opportunities that she was never able to experience. Along with the presence of other details such as how the ghost performs actions that mimic how a mother acts towards her children that I was able to conclude that the ghost’s symbolism in this story is that she is the embodiment of the mother’s depression as a result of her experiences of being thrust into the role of motherhood.

A specific instance in the story that most displays the parallel between the ghost’s actions and that of a mother’s is when they would go to the movie theater and “She shares popcorn with the son, and she lets him eat the buttery pieces first.” This shows the motherly behavior of giving things up for the sake of and happiness of the children.

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This part of the story further solidifies the fact that the ghost is a manifestation of a deeply internal emotion, specifically depression, rather than an external rage towards her environment.

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In addition to haunting the home with her feelings of inadequacy, there were physical displays of the symptoms of the ghost’s depression, through the instances where she would drink vodka, pace late at night potentially due to being unable to sleep, and leave things out of order. This can also be connected to the scenes where the ghost drinks orange juice mixed with vodka during the day while the children were at school, since the consumption of alcohol for the temporary feelings it brings about (joy, numbness) is one of the negative responses done by individuals to combat their depression.

Due to them being considered “safe spaces” where an individual can reveal the feelings they do not want others to witness, beds usually are symbolic of emotions that are deeply repressed in your subconsciousness, which in this case, is the mother’s depression as the ghost sleeps beside the mother in the same bed.

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A minor yet interesting detail that supports the notion that the ghost symbolizes the mother’s depression is through the scenes where she was listening to records of Edith Piaf, a French singer from the 20th century who is known for her ballads of love, loss and sorrow.

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This section of the story demonstrates the distractions that an individual suffering from depression turns to in order to develop a routine or a source of stability in their life to counter the negative feeling and to prevent them from wallowing in their sadness. In addition to this, the specific chores assigned to the ghost (laundry, grocery shopping) show how despite the fact that her depression stems from regrets of becoming a mother and having to sacrifice her life and opportunities, she still needs to fulfill her role and responsibilities as the mother of the two children.

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It was in these lines that the ghost reminisces about the life she had before her feelings of inadequacy and regret as she remembers what it was like before she had children. The films and the playground can be considered as a form of escapism from her depression.

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As the ghost is the embodiment of the mother’s depression as a result  of her regrets, particularly those of the life she did not live, this line shows that she does not truly feel that this place is her home, and that motherhood should not have been the role she was confined to for the rest of her life.

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In the beginning of the story, it was mentioned that the family actively tried to avoid interacting with the ghost, and even attempted to remove her from their home through exorcisms. These actions are symbolic of how the family does not want to confront the reality of the mother’s depression despite the effects that it has on each of them as they are both attracted to and repelled by the ghost, showing the strain the mother’s depression has on their relationship as a family.

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The mother is an authoritative figure within the household, as was seen in the scenes where she tried to remove the ghost from her house: at the beginning where she tried talking to her, and at the end where she demanded she leave. As demonstrated by her continuous efforts to avoid truly seeing and recognizing the ghost (i.e. avoiding interactions and turning on the faucet when questioned) the mother can also be considered a stubborn individual.

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In this line, it can be seen that the mother is afraid of confronting her depression and her deeply rooted feelings of regret, like what was previously mentioned. At the start of the story, she initially just lives with her depression, however, throughout the course of the work, it begins to become more overwhelming and tangible, as was seen in the physical actions done by the ghost.

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As previously mentioned, the mother’s depression becomes more evident and overwhelming as the story progresses, and this can be seen through the ghost’s efforts to have the mother see her and thereby accept her, however, the mother still refuses to acknowledge the presence of her depression as she turns on the water to drown out the sound of the ghost.

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It can be gathered from the descriptions and actions of the older daughter that she is a child who is nearing the start of her teenage years, with her tea parties and strange fascination with blood and gore.

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The daughter was shown to be angry at the  ghost, however, she does not express it since she has already observed the sorrow and sadness exhibited by the ghost. In line with the ghost being the symbol of the mother’s depression, it is plausible that the daughter witnesses this same sadness on a daily basis from her mother, allowing her to recognize it. Additionally, she might also be experiencing some form of guilt that as the eldest child, she was the catalyst that led to her mother’s regrets.

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Through details in the story such as him riding a stroller and not being able to speak in order to properly express his thoughts, it can be gathered that the younger brother is a young child, perhaps a toddler.

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There are cases wherein children are highly sensitive to the feelings of their caretakers, and this could explain why the small son is drawn to the ghost, to his mother’s depression.

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The neighbor was described as a reclusive man who rarely leaves his apartment next door, and he is also considered to be a modern and analytical individual, so he did not register the ghost as a supernatural being. He refers to himself as very unfashionable, and was initially worried about how the family, his neighbors would perceive him when he came over to ask to turn down the music.

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In these lines and those that directly preceded them, there was a mutual understanding of their relationship being a sort of safe space where they can understand the pain and depression their companion is experiencing. Through the neighbor’s interactions with the ghost, it was observed that they were able to share the weight of their sadness with each other, with the ghost being able to be seen by the neighbor, and the neighbor confiding in her about his own experiences.

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The idea that the neighbor believes that the ghost is similar to a “confessional priest” can be reciprocated by her since his interaction with the ghost can be interpreted as the mother considering him as an individual she can be vulnerable around (since the ghost allowed herself to manifest in front of him) as she was able to confide in him about her struggles, albeit in a seemingly vague manner. Being able to spend time with the neighbor is akin to how opening up to a stranger makes it easier to prompt further confidence due to the anonymity.

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However, in the section of the story where the ghost becomes a poltergeist as a symbol of the mother’s depression becoming more overwhelming and evident, the neighbor left. Due to this, it can be said that while he was a trusted confidant, their relationship was temporary as it lacked proper stability.

The neighbor leaving can have a deeper meaning of how not everyone, even though they were able to temporarily offer support, has the capability to handle and respond to overwhelming situations, especially regarding depression.

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Through the journey undertaken by the ghost to be seen by the members of the family, with the ghost being a symbol that represents the mother’s depression, it can be gathered that the message that the story is trying to convey to its readers is that one must acknowledge and accept their ghosts or negative emotions, such as depression and inadequacy, in order to move on, heal, and grow as an individual. Accepting that these emotions are part of you is the first step towards healing, since repressing the feelings of depression and avoiding confrontation can result in them eventually becoming too overwhelming to address, causing these feelings to linger in and haunt one’s life, similar to the mother’s ghost in the story.

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Beyond this, the ending of the story also detailed how overcoming depression is not something that can be fully handled alone, that it is important to let yourself be open and vulnerable in front of other individuals, especially those who will provide you with the affection, acceptance, and validation that will help you through the difficulties when you feel like you can no longer handle it alone. This was especially seen in how her children, who are constants in her life, expressed their physical affection and silent understanding when their mother finally accepted her depression in these passages.

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I believe that the short story is very relevant to the world today, especially with the theme that it presents to its readers, as well as its parallels to our life in the current pandemic. Similar to how the home in the story is haunted by “all the missed opportunities… the spirits of all the lives she never lived, and the chances she never took,” our lives right now also have so much room for us to be haunted by our regrets as a result of us being confined in our homes, unable to experience the outside world. Due to these regrets and a wide variety of other factors, ranging from the lack of physical interaction to experiencing heightened uncertainty because of the pandemic, there are so many people nowadays who experience issues with their mental health. The theme of the text is very much relevant to our current situation as it forces us to realize that in order to move on from the depression and other negative emotions that we may be experiencing, we must first learn to accept and acknowledge these feelings as our own so that we would be able to grow around it, because depression is not something that shrinks over time. Accepting our emotions is the first step that we need to take for us to grow around depression, for us to adjust accordingly and seek the necessary help for us to move forward with our lives.

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This short story was written in 2020 as the author’s response to the depression and sadness she had been experiencing as a result of the pandemic, and it was through her intention when she wrote the story as well as its overarching message and theme that we are able to see that our society puts much more weight on the importance of mental health and spreading awareness regarding the topic nowadays, especially since the prevalence of depression and mental health issues in our society is becoming more and more evident in our current situation. The story in itself is a tribute to the ongoing efforts to destigmatize talking about mental health and depression, as we follow the journey of the ghost to be seen amidst the avoidance and invalidation of her existence.

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While I consider myself to be in a better place now compared to four years ago despite the pandemic, I resonated deeply with the symbolism of the ghost due to my previous experiences. However, rather than resonating with how the ghost is an embodiment of the mother’s depression, I instead felt a connection with the ending the most, with how one must acknowledge and embrace their negative feelings in order to grow around them and move forward. This is because I was taught this specific lesson a few years back, how I should learn how to accept myself and my feelings rather than repressing them, and I was reminded of the support and love that I received from the people around me, like how the children showed their support for their mother’s acknowledgement of her issues at the end of the story.

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https://www.washingtonian.com/2020/06/26/writing-through-the-pandemic-a-new-short-story-by-amber-sparks/

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https://docs.google.com/document/d/1sjr9sgZZVCgoNCOacnUdgjmVg1ydd5zDVOhQUaes9OI/edit?usp=sharing

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https://padlet.com/nieshacamacho/3vwu5iwp9w9kom6q