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What Is This Thing Called Patriarchy?

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Harder still is seeing our fathers linked to the oppression of our mothers, or our mothers’ unavoidable participation in their own oppression, playing at being less than they are or giving themselves away in the name of perfect motherhood or tolerating neglect and abuse. All of this we resist, because we couldn’t help taking our mothers and fathers into ourselves and making them part of our deepest longings and most enduring expectations. And in the process we also drew into our deepest selves core elements from the patriarchal roots of gender privilege and oppression

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We resist, perhaps because in our fathers we see ourselves and because we’re still trying to fifigure out why they didn’t love us very well, or were never around, or were around but in the wrong ways. And we struggle to fifigure all that out in the hope that if we do, we might be able to have them after all and become something different ourselves.

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Men resist seeing the oppression of their mothers, wives, sisters, and daughters because we’ve participated in it, benefited from it, and developed a vested interest in it. We resist seeing our fathers as members of a privileged oppressor group.

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Along with not seeing women as oppressed, we resist seeing men as a privileged oppressor group. This is especially true of men who are aware of their own suffering, who often argue that both men and women are oppressed because of their gender and that neither oppresses the other. Undoubtedly men do suffer because of their participation in patriarchy, but it isn’t because men are oppressed as men.

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No woman is immune, for example, to the cultural devaluing of women’s bodies as sexual objects to be exploited in public and private life, or the ongoing threat of sexual and domestic violence. To a rapist, the most powerful woman in the land is first and foremost a woman—and this more than anything else culturally marks her as a potential victim.

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Upper-class women, for example, may be insulated to some degree from the oppressive effects of being women under patriarchy, such as discrimination in the workplace. Their class privilege, however, exists in spite of their subordinate standing as women, which they can never completely overcome, especially in relation to husbands.

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Identifying “female” as an oppressed status under patriarchy doesn’t mean that every woman suffers its consequences to an equal degree, just as living in a racist society doesn’t mean that every person of color suffers equally or that every white person shares equally in the benefifits of white privilege. Living in patriarchy does mean, however, that every woman must come to grips with an inferior gender position and that whatever she achieves will be in spite of that position.

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We shouldn’t be too hard on ourselves for hanging on to denial and illusions about patriarchy. Letting go is risky business, and patriarchy is full of smoke and mirrors that make it diffificult to see what has to be let go of.

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If feminism were truly ridiculous, it would be ignored. But it isn’t ridiculous, and so provokes a vigorous backlash.

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We cling to the illusion that everything is basically all right, that bad things don’t happen to good people, that good people can’t participate in the production of injustice and cruelty, and that if we only leave things alone they’ll stay pretty much as they are and, we often like to think, always have been.

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that reality is just what we think it is, that a phenomenon like sexuality is a fifixed concrete “thing” that simply exists, waiting for us to discover and experience it. But as Michel Foucault has argued, our intensely personal experience of ourselves as sexual beings is profoundly shaped by the society we live in and ways of thinking about sex that are part of its culture.

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Like all social systems, patriarchy is difficult to change because it is complex and its roots run deep. It is like a tree rooted in core principles of control, male dominance, male identification and male centeredness. Its trunk is the major institutional patterns of social life as shaped by the roots—family, economy, politics, religion, education, music and the arts. The branches—first the larger, then the progressively smaller—are the actual communities,organizations, groups, and other systems in which we live our lives, from cities and towns to corporations, parishes, marriages, and families. And in all of this, individuals are the leaves who both make possible the life of the tree and draw their form and life from it.

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including the Supreme Court’s retreat on abortion rights

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including the Supreme Court’s retreat on abortion rights

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women’s movements have come up against the depth to which the status quo is embedded in virtually every aspect of social life. The power of patriarchy is especially evident in the ongoing backlash against even the liberal agenda of women’s movements—including the Supreme Court’s retreat on abortion rights, the widespread effort to discredit feminism resulting in women’s growing reluctance to embrace or identify with it, and the emergence of a vocal movement of men who portray themselves as victims not only of the sex/gender system but of women’s struggle to free themselves from their own oppression under it.

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More serious challenges to patriarchy have been silenced, maligned, and misunderstood for reasons that aren’t hard to fathom.

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To a great degree, however, such highly publicized progress supports an illusion of fundamental change. In spite of new laws, for example, violence and sexual harassment against women are as pervasive as ever, if not more so. Inequality of income and wealth has not changed much from the 1950s, and women are still heavily concentrated in a small number of low-level service and pink-collar occupations. In spite of the huge influx of married women, many of them mothers, into the paid labor force, and in spite of a great deal of talk about the joys of fatherhood, there’s been no substantial increase in men’s sense of responsibility for domestic labor or their willingness to actually participate. And women’s share of authority in major institutions—from the state to organized religion to corporations to science, higher education, and the mass media—remains low. In short, the basic features that define patriarchy as a type of society have barely budged, and the women’s movement has stalled in much the same way that the civil rights movement stalled after the hard-won gains of the 1960s.

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Anyone who doubts that patriarchy is an oppressive system need only consult the growing literature documenting not only economic, political, and other institutionalized sexism, but pervasive violence,from pornography to the everyday realities of wife battering, sexual harassment, and sexual assault.

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What other term can one use to describe a state in which people do not have rights over their own bodies, their own sexuality, marriage, reproduction or divorce, in which they may not receive education or practice a trade or profession, or move about freely in the world? Many women (both past and present) work laboriously all their lives without receiving any payment for their work.

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An inevitable consequence of patriarchy is the oppression of women, which takes several forms.

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An inevitable consequence of patriarchy is the oppression of women, which takes several forms.

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As a result, patriarchal expectations that place men at the center paradoxically perch men just a short drop away from feeling that they are not at the center—and, therefore, on some level, that they don’t exist at all.

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they do play a part in fostering the illusion of being larger than life, especially through competition. When men compete, they enter the pumped-up world of winners and losers

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men live in a male-centered society and yet act as though the reality of other men’s inner lives matters very little.

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On an interpersonal level, however, men generally don’t put other men at the center of their attention because they are in competition with one another and because they are too busy looking for someone to put them at the center.

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All of this is compounded by the expectation that in order to feel normally alive, patriarchal men must be reflected as larger than life. This makes it difficult to develop an acceptable sense of self as an ordinary human being with a relatively stable center from which to relate to other people.

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All of this is compounded by the expectation that in order to feel normally alive, patriarchal men must be reflected as larger than life. This makes it difficult to develop an acceptable sense of self as an ordinary human being with a relatively stable center from which to relate to other people.

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This affects both individual men and patriarchy as a system, for men’s focus on themselves (“See me!”) and women’s focus on others reinforce patriarchy’s male-identifified, malecentered aspects. These, in turn, support male dominance by making it easier for men to concentrate on enhancing and protecting their own status.

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As part of men’s training, they are affifirmed through what they accomplish.12 This contrasts with women, whose training mirrors them in different ways, affifirming them less for what they accomplish than for their ability to empathize and mirror others as they form and maintain personal relationships.

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Many men, however, will protest that they don’t feel at the center, and this is one of the many ironic consequences of male privilege.

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A male center of focus is everywhere. Research makes clear, for example, what most women probably already know: that men dominate conversations by talking more, interrupting more, and controlling content.9 When women suggest ideas in business meetings, they often go unnoticed until a man makes the same suggestion and receives credit for it (or, as a cartoon caption put it, “Excellent idea Ms. Jones. Perhaps one of the men would like to suggest it”). In classrooms at all levels of schooling, boys and men typically command center stage and receive most of the attention.10 Even when women gather, they must often resist the ongoing assumption that no situation can be complete or even entirely real unless a man is there to take the center position. How else do we understand the experience of groups of women who go out for drinks and conversation and are approached by men who ask, “Are you alone?”

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In addition to being male dominated and male identifified, patriarchy is male centered, which means that the focus of attention is primarily on men and what they do.

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In this way, male identifification gives even the most lowly placed man a cultural basis for feeling some sense of superiority over the otherwise most highly placed woman (which is why a construction worker can feel within his rights as a man when he sexually harasses a well-dressed professional woman who happens to walk by)

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Since patriarchy identififies power with men, the vast majority of men who aren’t powerful but are instead dominated by other men can still feel some connection with the idea of male dominance and with men who are powerful. It is far easier, for example, for an unemployed working-class man to identify with male leaders and their displays of patriarchal masculine toughness than it is for women of any class.

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The answer is that patriarchy can accommodate a limited number of powerful women so long as the society retains its essential patriarchal character, especially its male identifification. Although a few individual women have wielded great power in patriarchal societies, she must support by embracing core patriarchal values.

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the more powerful a woman is under patriarchy, the more “unsexed” she becomes in the eyes of others as her female cultural identity recedes beneath the mantle of male-identifified power and the masculine images associated with it.

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Another aspect of male identifification is the cultural description of masculinity and the ideal man in terms that closely resemble the core values of society as a whole.

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The idea of a career, for example, with its sixty-hour weeks, is defifined in ways that assume the career holder has something like a wife at home to perform the vital support work of taking care of children, doing laundry, and making sure there’s a safe, clean, comfortable haven for rest and recuperation from the stress of the competitive male-dominated world. Since women generally don’t have wives, they fifind it harder to identify with and prosper within this male-identifified model.

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But male identification amounts to much more than this, for it also takesmen and men’s lives as the standard for defining what is normal.

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But male identification amounts to much more than this, for it also takesmen and men’s lives as the standard for defining what is normal.

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we construct a symbolic world in which men are in the foreground and women are in the background, marginalized as outsiders and exceptions to the rule.

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Nor does male dominance mean that all women are powerless. 

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Nor does male dominance mean that all women are powerless. 

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父权体制可以接受有限数量的女性掌权，只要社会的基本父权特质能够维持的住，特别是男性认同的特质。

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Note that male dominance does not mean that all men are powerful.Most men in patriarchies are not powerful individuals, and spend their daysdoing what other men tell them to do whether they want to or not. Maledominance does mean that where there is a concentration of power, men arethe ones most likely to have it—they are the default.

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Wordslut：a feminist guide to taking back the english language

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Wordslut：a feminist guide to taking back the english language

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Montell, A., 2020. Wordslut. Harper Wave.

(Montell, 2020)

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In this sense, every man’s standing in relation to women is enhanced by the male monopoly over authority in patriarchal societies.

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Male dominance also promotes the idea that men are superior to women. In part this occurs because we don’t distinguish between the superiority of positions in a hierarchy and the kinds of people who usually occupy them.1 This means that if men occupy superior positions, it’s a short leap to the idea that men must be superior.

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What is patriarchy? A society is patriarchal to the degree that it promotes male privilege∗ by being male dominated, male identifified, and male centered. It is also organized around an obsession with control and involves as one of its key aspects the oppression of women.

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Where we are is stuck. Where we are is lost. Where we are is deep inside an oppressive gender legacy, faced with the knowledge that what gender is about is tied to a great deal of suffering and injustice. But we don’t know what to do with the knowledge, and this binds us in a knot of fear, anger, and pain, of blame, defensiveness, guilt, and denial. We’re unsure of just about everything except that something is wrong and we’re in it up to our necks. The more we pull at the knot, the tighter it gets.

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The Gender Knot：Untraveling Our Patriarchal Legacy

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The Gender Knot：Untraveling Our Patriarchal Legacy

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Johnson, A., 2005. The Gender Knot. US: Temple University Press.

(Johnson, 2005)

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Beauvoir, S., Borde, C., Malovany-Chevallier, S. and Rowbotham, S., 2011. The Second Sex. London: Vintage Books.

(Beauvoir, Borde, Malovany-Chevallier and Rowbotham, 2011)

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审判

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女巫的聚会

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Patriarchal society is a sweet poisoned apple full of illusions, such as ladies first.

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Patriarchal society is a sweet poisoned apple full of illusions, such as ladies first.

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父权社会是一个充满幻想性的甜蜜的毒苹果，譬如女士优先。

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父权的树

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Which part do you think is more important, the past or the future, whether it is more motivating for feminism to make people aware of the history of women from oppression or to assume a future of equality that people can achieve.

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Which part do you think is more important, the past or the future, whether it is more motivating for feminism to make people aware of the history of women from oppression or to assume a future of equality that people can achieve.

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你认为过去和未来哪个部分更重要，是让人们了解女性从被压迫的历史对于女性主义更有推动力，还是假设一种人们可以达到的平等的未来更有激励性。

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Men define women as saints and sluts according to their own will, which leads to the existence of misogyny among women. How can the dissolution of these two relationships between women be achieved?

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Men define women as saints and sluts according to their own will, which leads to the existence of misogyny among women. How can the dissolution of these two relationships between women be achieved?

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男人根据自己的意愿将女人定义为圣女和荡妇，这导致了女性之间厌女的存在。如何在女性之间达到这两种关系的消解？

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How do I make my character avoid the male gaze?

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How do I make my character avoid the male gaze?

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如何让我的角色避免男性凝视？

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When setting up the image, I started thinking about what kind of witch my protagonist should be, but I sometimes felt confused and like nothing was right. With some of the current social views, if I set her up to be a beautiful woman, then I have a tendency to make advances towards men. This also relates to another point of view that my friend and I discussed when we discussed these issues, is it a form of misogyny that some lesbian women choose to change their outward appearance to a masculine tendency in order to show their status in a relationship? On the one hand I agree with this, on the other hand I don't think short hair or some masculine traits should be defined as solely male, I find it hard to take the middle ground.

如何定义一个女人？
在设定形象的时候，我开始思考我的主角应该是一个什么样的女巫，但我有时候感到很困惑，好像什么都不对。以现在的一些社会观点来说，如果我设定她是一个美丽的女人，那我有向男性示好倾向。这也关联到另一个观点，我的朋友和我探讨这些问题的时候有讨论到，有一些女性同性恋选择将自己的外在形象变更为男性趋向以展示自己在恋爱关系中的地位，这是不是一种厌女行为呢？一方面我认同这个观点，一方面我又觉得不应该将短发或一些男性特征定义为男性仅有的特点，我觉得很难取到中间值。

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Many men will protest that they don't feel like being the centre. How do you counter this argument?

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Many men will protest that they don't feel like being the centre. How do you counter this argument?

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很多男人会抗议说，他们没有感到成为中心。如何反驳这个观点？

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Do you think that people who choose to become housewives are giving up the fight for women's interests?

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Do you think that people who choose to become housewives are giving up the fight for women's interests?

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你认为选择成为家庭主妇的人是否等于放弃了女性利益的争取？

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Do you think fertility is a God-given torture or a reward for women?

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Do you think fertility is a God-given torture or a reward for women?

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Why create women when you created men?
既然创造了男人，何必创造女人？
既生瑜，何生亮？

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Do you think we are moving forward or downhill, and will the story of the virgin become a reality?

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Do you think we are moving forward or downhill, and will the story of the virgin become a reality?

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In re Roe v Wade
I once heard a quote that probably went something like we are actually on the high ground of history, but we don't know it.

Sometimes I feel like history is going backwards, but when I researched matrilineal and patrilineal clans, there was also talk that the current state of our society (more and more children taking their mother's name and so on) was showing that we were moving towards a new utopian matrilineal society.

Do you think we are moving forward or downhill, and will the story of the virgin become a reality?

关于罗伊诉韦德案
我曾经听过一句话，大概内容是其实我们已经站在历史的至高点上了，但我们却不知道。
有时我感觉历史在倒退，但当我调研母系氏族和父系氏族时，也有言论表示我们的社会现状（随母姓的孩子越来越多之类）正在显示我们在向一个全新的乌托邦般的母系社会发展。
你认为我们是在前进中还是下坡中呢，使女的故事会不会成为现实呢？

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You haven't suffered too much injustice, have you?

Most of the men I've been around have been very respectful of women.

What is the difference between taking your father's surname and taking your mother's surname? Does it make sense to change history just like that?

Wouldn't it make sense that a patriarchal clan would replace a matriarchal clan since it Existence is justified.

I would like to support gender equality, but what can I do?

你并没有遭受过太多不公平对待吧？
我身边的男性大多数都是很尊重女性的。
跟爸爸姓和跟妈妈姓有什么差别呢？历史就是这样改变有意义吗？
父系氏族既然能取代母系氏族难道不是有道理的吗？存在即合理。
我愿意支持性别平等，可是我能做什么呢？

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Witch
Patriarchy
Gay
Male-Bonding
Male-Dominated
Male-Centered
Slut
Fruit
Uterus
Vagina
Feminism
Homosexuality
Misogyny
Soflama
Hysteria-terus

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Crossword puzzles in old newspapers
旧报纸中的填空游戏
讽刺/女性词汇/
举例：Gay-A traitor among men
Crossword puzzles in old newspapers
Satire / Female vocabulary /
Example: Gay-A traitor among men

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1. Data
2. Gender status conversion
3. The tree of patriarchy
1.数据
2.男女地位转换
3.父权的树

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①The replacement of male and female figures in the history of fine art

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①The replacement of male and female figures in the history of fine art

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Make a newspaper that focuses on patriarchal society and feminism from a man's perspective.
做一份报纸，侧重于男人角度的父权社会和女性主义。
How to be a good man

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Make a small zine on the subject of how to be a witch. Here "witch" is an adjective.
制作一个小的zine，主题是如何成为一个女巫。这里的”女巫“是一种形容词。
Focuses on feminism from a woman's perspective to make a book for girls to avoid the pitfalls of a patriarchal society.
侧重女人的视角来描述女权主义，做一本给女孩的书，让他们避开父权社会的陷阱。

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旁观者视角