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data linking commercial tobacco use to ACE's for schools

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data linking commercial tobacco use to ACE's for schools

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Building understanding of ACEs within our HHS department and in schools - specifically early childhood educators

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Be mindful of body language and tone, stay calm, see bigger picture. If not able to stay calm, take break. Recognize how my own experiences/lenses might impact how I perceive the situation

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Take time away to cool down and come back once calm to have a conversation where you are able to be empathetic

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Close the stress loop as able

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Trying to not look too much into some of the issues. Trying to humor some of their ideas.

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Listen and speak clearly. Set boundaries where needed. 

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Listen and speak clearly. Set boundaries where needed. 

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They might be managing some fears or insecurities - may be conscious or unconscious 

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They might be managing some fears or insecurities - may be conscious or unconscious 

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Focusing back on what I may feel and what I may contribute to the interaction of the other individual. May need to take some space away until comfortable enough to come back to regroup together. 

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Focusing back on what I may feel and what I may contribute to the interaction of the other individual. May need to take some space away until comfortable enough to come back to regroup together. 

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Take time to truly reflect and change what questions are being asked.

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If the behavior is not harmful then in some cases it may be helpful to accept or adapt to that behavior even if it is a little different than how you would behave. 

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If the behavior is not harmful then in some cases it may be helpful to accept or adapt to that behavior even if it is a little different than how you would behave. 

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let's both state are role-related needs and see where we can come to an agreement, by understanding each other we won't take things personally

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let's both state are role-related needs and see where we can come to an agreement, by understanding each other we won't take things personally

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ask questions to understand them and come from a place of trust in them and beleive in them 

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ask questions to understand them and come from a place of trust in them and beleive in them 

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Take breaks in the conversation

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This was a reaction not a response.

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Telling ourselves that what they may say or do is a reflection of something they are going through that may have nothing to do with me.

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Telling ourselves that what they may say or do is a reflection of something they are going through that may have nothing to do with me.

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Promoted to a leadership role way too early in career - faking it (too much) until they 'make it'

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seek connection outside of the issue i'm having with them

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seek connection outside of the issue i'm having with them

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They have felt like they need to continually prove their worthiness and feel they are valued by how much work they do

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They have felt like they need to continually prove their worthiness and feel they are valued by how much work they do

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They are trying to avoid being retraumatized or triggered.  

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They are trying to avoid being retraumatized or triggered.  

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they are feeling insecure in their own self and unable to acknowledge that to themselves

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they are feeling insecure in their own self and unable to acknowledge that to themselves

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They don't know what else to do so they do what they do

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They grew up in an unhealthy environment and the behavior was normalized to them

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There must be something that happened to them where they feel the need to have some control

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There must be something that happened to them where they feel the need to have some control

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They are trying to get out of something - not take accountability

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They are trying to get out of something - not take accountability

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Seeking coping mechanisms that keep the peace instead of rocking the boat

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they talk talk talk talk to stop interactions

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Even though they are in a leadership position, they are at the mercy of a system that doesn't work for them either

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Even though they are in a leadership position, they are at the mercy of a system that doesn't work for them either

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They are trying to escape or finding a way out 

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They are trying to escape or finding a way out 

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taking credit for other peoples' work to get ahead themselves

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They come across as immature

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Behavior: conflict avoidance

Non-trauma informed lens: They are immature

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They dont listen

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They feel the need to be right and belittle others in the process in fears of being wrong

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as my dad used to say "they're a nuts driver"

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Non-trauma says: this person is targeting me

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Non-trauma says: this person is targeting me