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Hi! One star in your presentation, “Moveable Music” is that I liked your slide “Helpful Headphone Facts”. It had helpful information like what it’s made of, what it looks like, how it works, and how much it costs. It had brief information that told a lot in only one bullet point. Another star from your presentation is I liked your word choice. For example words like lugging, convenient, and portable really enhanced your presentation. Lastly, one wish I have for your presentation is that the design is a bit bland. It didn’t include many images and one color per slide. Other than that, I liked your presentation!

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Hey Tanisha! Great theme analysis paragraph! A definite strength of your essay was that you used so much descriptive word choice. They really described the theme and evidence in detail! Another star is your explanation. It was such a great explanation and it really incorporated the theme into it. The superb language and the way you told the reader about the theme and its importance is a very quality read. A suggestion for improvement is that you should change up your word choice in the claim and conclusion sentence. You used “beautiful” two times throughout this paragraph, and though it is a little error, I think it would make your essay just a little more appealing to the readers.

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Hi Tanisha! Excellent work with your theme analysis paragraph! One star for your piece is I love how you elaborated on your explanations. They are very organized and each component is separated with a transition, which really helps the reader to clearly comprehend what you are explaining. A second star for your piece is I love how you powerfully related your theme to real life. I found your way of explaining how everyone is different in life very effective, especially where you stated, “But if they learn to express their abilities others will accept them and make them a part of their community.” This sentence perfectly relates to the theme and is very powerful. Finally, I wish I had your paragraph. I think that you overused the word “they.” I think you could replace this word with “one” or  “a person.” Other than that, excellent!

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Hi, Tanisha! A strength of your theme analysis paragraph, “The Sheep Who Loved To Dance” is all of the synonyms and descriptions you used. In particular, I enjoyed how you kept going back to your claim in your explanation and telling why it matters. In addition, I liked the transition words you used. For instance, I enjoyed you using, “This evidence shows & for instance” However, a suggestion I can offer is to have better punctuation and layout. The Pixar short Boundin has an apostrophe after it which needs to be deleted. Other than that great job!

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Hi Tanisha! I loved your persuasive essay! One star I have for your essay is that I loved how you used so much figurative language in your anecdotes. Your anecdotes were so descriptive, I felt as if I was actually right there, in the setting of your scenarios, watching the event. Secondly, I loved your transitions! I loved how you varied them out and used different ones each time. I think this really strengthened your essay and made your essay a whole lot smoother and connected your ideas. Finally, a wish I have for your piece is that I wish you were more specific with your call to action. I think that your essay would have been much stronger if you stated WHO parents needed to talk to alongside what they could do. This could provide clearer instructions for the reader. Other than that, excellent job!

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Hello Tanisha! Amazing essay! A strength of your persuasive essay, “The Importance of Art to a Student’s Education”, is how you described the struggle and inside feelings of students who do not understand the things learned in the classroom. I could clearly feel the same frustration and anxiety from the students and could relate to it too. The anecdotes really helped me understand how the arts in a school could benefit student’s academic achievement, and it made the whole essay come alive. Also, the different word choice in transition words was a very strong part of your essay. It made the piece seem less boring and repeated, and I think other readers would be more interested in reading your essay with these different words. This essay was very descriptive and well-written, there were very few things that needed improving. But, I did notice that you were using a lot of “not”s. Like this question: “How could someone NOT want to solve this problem, making school way easier?” Or this: “Why would teachers NOT want to resolve this?” Personally, a few “not”s in a essay is enough, I think that you were using a lot of them. It was getting way too repeated, saying “how could teachers NOT help…” or “is this NOT an issue…”, so I think you could change those up a little. Other than that, I was really amazed by your essay!

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Hi! I really like how detailed your piece was! I feel like you put a lot of effort to make sure the reader is persuaded by your opinion. I also liked the description that was put into it. A wish i would have is to add more stronger word choice, but however, i feel like you did an amazing job!

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Hi, Tinisha! A strength in your essay, “The Importance of Art to a Students Education,” was that it had strong sensory details. For instance, I loved how you used “bring a scowl to her face” in one of your paragraphs because it lets the readers picture the scene you're trying to describe. In addition, I like the way you used strong transition words within your essay. Using these strong transition words, it will smoothly let the readers understand your essay. However, a suggestion I could offer to make your essay stronger is to include more strong word choice. Here were some moments in your essay where you could’ve used strr word choice.  Overall, your essay you created was amazing!

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Hi Tanisha!!! I loved your story. My first star for your story is that you developed your characters really well. I think the little actions you included in the speaker tags and throughout the story really effectively developed your story! The way you expressed Aunty Sarah’s extroverted and happy personality really showed me what a colorful person she is, and the way you described how Mrs. Chipley was walking through the rain really effectively conveyed how firm Mrs. Chipley is.The second star I have for your story is that you developed your setting very well. The way you told us that everything was wet, gray, and dull was so intriguing and made me feel like I was in the moment of the story. I think that the way you said that the pink rose was the only color really emphasized how dull the setting of this story is actually, but when Sally went inside the house, you very easily transitioned to a happier setting, which you then continued to develop as the story progressed.A wish I have for you is that maybe you can slow down the moment at some point and add some description. Maybe at the end where they are at the amusement park, just use some sensory details to really explode the moment. Other than that, excellent job!!! 😁