# data[].attributes.body
COle, I really enjoyed your informational presentation called “ Nerf: The Evolution of Greatness”. For example, one strength in your presentation was your bullet points and how they were short but showed what you were trying to say. I especially liked 4th slide called “Nerf Gun From Scratch: The Basics” because all of the bullet points were short but very informative. Secondly, I enjoyed your photos because I felt that they were very intriguing. For example on your 5th slide called “Nerf Gun Craze” the pictures are very fun and enjoyable for readers. One strength I think you could have done is be more specific. I did feel that for some bullet points you did well but some slides/ bullet points did not give much information like in slide 4 you had a bullet point saying “ Some are single shot while some have magazines” I felt you could hav explained exactly what you were saying. Although, you had a very great piece overall.

# data[].attributes.headline
To start off in your information presentation, “ Nerf the evolution of greatness” a strength is your details. I think you work hard and put a lot of effort into this, because I learned new information when I read your information presentation. Secondly, I like how you stay on one detail but add information into it so it feels like you're getting a different variety about the same topic. The information falls into your piece well so you get a different feel each time you read it. Lastly, I think some parts of your information are not equal. You have different amounts of information on one slide then the other, like from one slide you have 4 bullet points but then on the next you have like 9.

# data[].attributes.subject
To start off in your information presentation, “ Nerf the evolution of greatness” a strength is your details. I think you work hard and put a lot of effort into this, because I learned new information when I read your information presentation. Secondly, I like how you stay on one detail but add information into it so it feels like you're getting a different variety about the same topic. The information falls into your piece well so you get a different feel each time you read it. Lastly, I think some parts of your information are not equal. You have different amounts of information on one slide then the other, like from one slide you have 4 bullet points but then on the next you have like 9.

# data[].attributes.body
Hi Cole! A strength of your presentation was the background. It was consistent and simple, and I really liked it. Another strength was the information I was provided with while reading your presentation. I got to know a lot about the Nerf gun and its history, basics, and popularity. However, one thing that I could improve would be the closing. It was short and wasn’t as detailed as an improved closing. Anyway, great job!

# data[].attributes.body
I enjoyed reading your slides and I really like the title on the hook slide. I think it brought a good vibe into your presentation. I also liked how you included a picture in each slide. I think it showed me all different kinds of nerf guns that they are. My star is to add more detail.

# data[].attributes.body
Hi, Cole! First off, your on demand really was really good! I really liked your claim and how direct it was. For example, when you said “Undoubtedly, the theme in the Pixar short For The Birds is that when one treats others badly they will face consequences for their actions.” This was a really good claim because your theme was right out of the gate but also connected to the Pixar short. In addition, I really loved how you sum it up and how you used different word choices but it still meant the same thing as your claim. When you said “Certainly, In the Pixar short For The Birds it conveys a very powerful theme about when one disrespect someone people could potentially not like them because of their personality. This was really good because you used different word choice than your claim but it still meant the same thing. Although, one wish I can offer for improvement is to check for grammar mistakes. For example, when you said for your title For The Birds you also said Boudin. You should change this because if you don’t the reader would be confused on what is your title. Otherwise, amazing job!

# data[].attributes.body
Yo Cole!!! One strength I found in your piece is how super different and similar at the same time your claim and sum up is. Another strength in your piece is your claim is very good along with the evidence backing it up. But I feel like you could’ve added some more transition words in the 2nd explanation.

# data[].attributes.body
hi cole, I really like how your hook was descriptive i thought that was really good and how you said the crack of the bat it brought your essay to life.in addition i also liked how your essay was long because i feel like i got a lot out of it and you persuaded me. However i thought if you could  make you claim sentences more details it would make the essay a lot better.

# data[].attributes.body
Hello Cole! 1 thing I liked in your essay is how you really explained how sports can help with health and improve and start relationships. Also, I liked your call or action because you really explained why this issue can be resolved. One wish  I have that you could’ve done is elaborate more on your explanation.

# data[].attributes.body
Hi, Cole! A strength of your essay “What would school be like without sports?” Was the zinger I really like how it said sports are like a grand slam, a touchdown in the Super Bowl, a slam dunk. Sports are everything! I really like how you ended it that way because it gave the reader something to remember and think about. Another strength of you essay is your in the future I really like how you said it. It was really nice connected to what you said. I also felt that you used really nice word choice in the future paragraph. One suggestion I have for you is to add more details in the explanation I felt like it was missing couple of details and run on sentence. Otherwise amazing job!!!

# data[].attributes.body
I really liked your zinger at the end because it was very creative and very true. I also really liked your look to the future because it really shows how if sports weren’t available for people in the future, life for many would be very sad. One thing that you could improve on was your anecdotes because they were not very descriptive. I really didn’t feel like I was in the moment with them.

# data[].attributes.body
The first thing I liked is your figurative language. I like how you really showed me how it was feeling and how you described it. One other thing I liked is your inner thoughts. I liked how you showed me what you were thinking in a powerful way. One thing you could improve on is that i know you were sad in the story but i wish you could put more impact on that.

# data[].attributes.body
A strength of your memoir was how detailed the beginning and the ending was.  The similes were amazing. I liked and my palms were as sweaty as a warm bath.  The middle was good and the inner thoughts were good

# data[].attributes.headline
I feel Like your memoir was amazing I like how the tittle matches the story and it is very meaningful. Cause it goes with your story. I also like how you use your smilies and metaphors. I like the description into them. They match the story very well. I also think you word choice was amazing. It felt like it had another meaning to it. I think you just need to add a bit more about some parts just a little bit more description.

# data[].attributes.subject
I feel Like your memoir was amazing I like how the tittle matches the story and it is very meaningful. Cause it goes with your story. I also like how you use your smilies and metaphors. I like the description into them. They match the story very well. I also think you word choice was amazing. It felt like it had another meaning to it. I think you just need to add a bit more about some parts just a little bit more description.

# data[].attributes.body
A strength in your memoir “The coach says goodbye” is the inner thoughts you used to describe the anxiety and worry going through your mind. Another enjoyable part of your memoir was how you used sensory details to describe how shocked everybody was when they heard about your coach leaving the team. One improvement you could make is to add more anticipation in your memoir instead of going right to the point of your coach leaving.

# data[].attributes.body
Your memoir “The Coach says goodbye” has lots of strong inner thoughts that help us know what you are feeling. I think these inner thoughts added a lot to your story because this was a memoir where inner thoughts were highly needed. Another thing you did well was adding a strong ending. Your ending was very powerful and had a lot of emotions. One suggestion I have is to add more about what your coach actually said to you and balance it with all your thoughts.