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Home > Learn Learn Find your pathway to better emotional health Follow a step-by-step learning journey to build emotional health, resilience and confidence. The evidence-based Solihull Approach model that underpins the bitesize topics has been tested by researchers as well as hundreds of thousands of parents to give you confidence it will make a positive […]

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Understanding your child with additional needs - use free eligibility check 

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Understanding your child with additional needs - use free eligibility check 

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There are support schemes and organisations in North Yorkshire which may be able to help or advise if you are worried about the cost of living, struggling to pay for essentials or looking for ways to make your money go further.

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Pookie Knightsmith - videos and podcasts to support parenting/parenting children with SEND/children with anxiety 

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Pookie Knightsmith - videos and podcasts to support parenting/parenting children with SEND/children with anxiety 

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"mental health" parents carers parenting "how to help my child"

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I upload videos about mental health. These draw on both my professional and personal experience and aim to educate and inspire.

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Separating better - a new app for separating parents 

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Separating better - a new app for separating parents 

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Over the last 50 years, OnePlusOne has shown that stable, supportive relationships - whatever form they take - are vital for our mental health and wellbeing.

The OnePlusOne team have created effective and easy-to-access resources to strengthen relationships across the course of life.
Dame Judi Dench

Patron of OnePlusOne

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Equipping people to build and maintain healthy relationships.

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Parenting from 6 months to 19 - password NYFAMILIES for free course

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Parenting from 6 months to 19 - password NYFAMILIES for free course

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Solihull Approach | Parenting - We're all about emotional health and wellbeing!

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Becoming Togetherness - Solihull Approach | Parenting

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Becoming Togetherness We’re rebranding and refreshing our offer for our rapidly changing world Togetherness builds on more than 25 years of impact. Now is the time to amplify that impact, expanding our reach, deepening our engagement, changing more lives and cementing the long-term impact of our work. https://youtu.be/GfH30EHkyFM Bringing the Solihull Approach to the world

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Understanding your teenagers brain - use free eligibility check

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Understanding your teenagers brain - use free eligibility check

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Find out in just a few seconds if you’re in a pre-paid area and gain free access to our courses.

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We are working hard to grow our network to establish wider coverage and make our courses free for everyone. You can keep checking back with us and check out some of our free short courses in the meantime. Return to the Course Library to view our featured free courses

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A decent night's sleep will help children to learn more effectively and make them less susceptible to minor ailments,

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Understanding your child’s mental health and wellbeing - use free eligibility check

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Understanding your child’s mental health and wellbeing - use free eligibility check

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About this course

If you are either interested or worried about your child's mental health and wellbeing, then this course is for you.

If your child has additional needs then you may find 'Understanding your child with additional needs' more helpful.

This course 'Understanding your child's mental health and wellbeing' is unusual as it introduces you to mental health and wellbeing in Part 1..., then you leave this course and complete 'Understanding your child' ...and then come back to Part 2 of this course.

If you have already completed 'Understanding your child' then you don't need to do it again (unless you want a refresh or to look at it from a different angle).

'Understanding your child' is all about the cornerstones of mental health and wellbeing. You could revisit Module 2 about Understanding your child's feelings if you would like a refresh with some examples of listening and talking with children and teenagers. Or the Module on Containment and the Module on Reciprocity.

So, complete Part 1, then complete 'Understanding your child' and then complete Part 2. You may only be interested in anxiety in Part 2, for instance, but if you also look at depression you can see how the usual way we react to events and issues in our lives can turn into difficulties for us.

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If you are either interested or worried about your child’s mental health and wellbeing, then this course is for you.

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Moving up to secondary school for children with additional needs 

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Moving up to secondary school for children with additional needs 

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This short specialist course is for parents, relatives or friends of children who have additional needs. Your child may be dyspraxic, dyslexic, very anxious, autistic, really dislike change, have ADHD, a learning disability, a physical disability or any other additional need.

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Resilient Rutland - funded by the National Lottery

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Self-Esteem: helping young people find purpose & belonging

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Counselling for Children and Young People - Wellspring Therapy & Training

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Counselling and therapy for a wide range of mental health issues and conditions. Who is this service for? Professional, confidential, affordable counselling, tailored specifically to children and young people aged 4-18 years old living in the Harrogate area. We recognise that children and young people often go through tough times…

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Kooth is your online mental wellbeing community. Access free, safe and anonymous

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Campaigning for change

We fight to change laws to make society safer for children. Our Wild West Web campaign has pushed for new regulations through the Online Safety Bill to make sure websites, apps and games are safe for children to use. But the draft Bill doesn't go far enough to protect children.
Help us end the Wild West Web

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Understanding online safety is tricky for all ages - we have advice and guides to help you learn about staying safe online as a family.

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Nap times

Once your child has stopped using nappies in the daytime, it's time to think about nap times.

Learning to sleep without a nappy on at naptime and use the potty when they wake up, will help prepare your child for being dry at night.

Tips for managing nappy-free nap times:

Just before nap time, help your child use the potty or toilet, so they are more likely to stay dry.

When you notice the nappy is staying dry at least some of the time, stop using a nappy at nap time.

Accidents are common during the first few months. Use a waterproof sheet or similar underneath your child, to protect their sleep area.

Lots of children need to use the potty when they wake so help them to do this.

Using praise and rewards to motivate your child

Research shows that rewards such as sweets or sticker charts may help your child initially, but they can stop working quickly.

For most children, encouraging and supporting them to be as independent as possible is the best way to motivate them.

Tips for keeping your child motivated:

Give your child plenty of encouragement and praise their efforts. When your child uses the potty or manages to stay dry, even if it's just for a short time, tell them how pleased you are.

Try to stay calm when accidents happen and do not make a big fuss.

Give your child the opportunity to do things for themselves as far as possible. This will help them to feel in control, positive and relaxed about the process.

Use favourite toys, books or songs to help them feel comfortable on the potty.

Try to avoid prompting or asking your child too often. Instead, wait until you think they need to go and then direct them gently, e.g. "it's toilet time" or "let's get that wee/poo in the potty!"

Be clear, confident and consistent so your child knows what you are asking them to do.

Managing potty training accidents

It is normal to have lots of accidents at the beginning and they are an important part of the learning process. This is a big step for your child, so be patient and encourage them.

Tips for managing accidents:

When your child has an accident, clean it up together and remind them to use the potty next time.

Do not shame or punish your child about accidents, as stress and upset can make it harder for you and your child to learn together.

It's important not to pretend an accident hasn't happened. Help them get clean and dry as soon as possible and involve your child in this process. Gently explain that you want them to use the potty next time.

Potty training out and about

When you first stop using nappies, choose a time when you can stay home with your child for a few days, so you can do some one to one learning with them.

Tips to make your first trips out easier to manage:

Don't forget your potty and spares of everything just in case!

Make trips out short to begin with.

Dress your child in clothes that are easy for them to push down and pull up again.

Avoid putting your child back in a pull up or nappy for outings. This will confuse them and undo all that learning.

A travel potty and washable car seat cover can come in handy.

Using the toilet away from home is a good thing for your child to get used to. Talk to them about things like how the flush at the supermarket is different from the one at home or nursery for example.

We have an excellent range of products to help with this stage including portable potties and car seat covers.

Potty training at nursery & pre-school

Many children spend part of their day being looked after by someone other than you and away from home.

For potty training to go well, your child needs a consistent approach to help them learn what they need to do whether they're at home or in childcare.

As soon as your child starts attending the setting, communicate about their bladder and bowel health. Ask the staff to tell you about the child's poos, so you can keep track and avoid constipation.

Find out what they are offered to drink to you can supplement appropriately at the beginning and end of the session. If the setting will only offer water, and your child is reluctant to consume enough water, talk to staff. Offer to supply juice or squash for them to dilute; it is vital for your child to stay well hydrated when they are away from home.

Start conversations about potty practice as soon as your child can sit up. Settings may regard potty training as something to attempt when the child is older; share this information so they too can see the benefits of potty practice.

When you are thinking about stopping using nappies, plan with the staff. Agree dates together with your child's caregivers so everyone is ready to support them. Time what you are doing at home to fit in with the setting.

Avoid starting to wear pants when the child is about to change rooms at nursery - that will be a big enough upheaval for them.

Tell the staff about the language you use at home for wee and poo.

Talk to the staff at the beginning and end of each session so everyone knows how things are going both at the setting and back at home. Use our potty training record so staff can keep track of their progress.

More information and free resources for childcare settings to support potty learning.
Getting dry at night

The age at which children become dry at night varies hugely. For some, it follows on quite quickly after achieving daytime dryness. For others, the wetting carries on after the age of 5 and treatment will be advised.

It is not your child's fault if they wet during sleep.

There are however lots of things you can do to gradually work towards night time dryness including:

Help your child get into the habit of using the potty or toilet at bedtime.

As well as making sure they are drinking plenty during the daytime, work on a good bedtime drinking routine as well. STOP drinks one hour before bedtime, every night, and no more after that till morning. Our Wee Checker has information on how much children should drink for their age.

Prepare your child for sleep. Unwind with a book or listen to music with the lights turned low. NO screens - so no TV, iPad, computer games in the hour before sleep, or the brain will get the wrong message!

Avoid lifting - in other words waking your child to take them to the toilet - if you want to work on stopping bedwetting. It might keep the bed dry, but it encourages the child to wee during sleep as they don't really wake up.

If your child is still wetting the bed when they are 5, see our Advice for Children with Night Time Wetting factsheet for more information and help.

Common potty training problems

Taking your time leading your child through the preparation and practice stages should help to avoid the most common potty training problems.

If you feel as though it's all gone wrong and they're just not getting it, it's ok to stop, go back to the preparation stage and start again.

Could they be constipated?

Constipation affects 1 in 3 children and is especially common in under 5s. Your child may be struggling because they have some underlying constipation that was there before you started potty training.

So stop, treat the constipation and then try stopping the nappies again once it is all under control. Carry on with potty practice - this in itself is an important part of constipation treatment.
Are they drinking enough?
Sometime the bladder misbehaves and we realise that our child is simply not drinking enough.

Once again, you don't have to go right back to the beginning, but go back to the potty practice stage while you increase your child's fluid intake.

Try not to panic if it seems as if they just aren't getting it. Some children take longer to learn, and just need more time.

Reassure your child that their wees and poos will learn to go in the potty, they just need more practice!

Get more information and help with common potty training problems.

FAQs

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Potty training: how to start & best age to potty train - ERIC

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We've broken down potty training into 3 easy steps: preparation, practice and perfecting those skills! Use our step by step guide to help your toddler become toilet trained.

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What is normal bowel function?

Normal bowel function is:

When you first feel the urge to poo you can hold on long enough to get to a toilet without accident.

Doing a poo within a minute of sitting on the toilet, it doesn't hurt, and you don't have to strain

You completely empty your bowel, you don't have to go back again, or have a feeling of some "left".

It is normal for you to feel an urge to poo within about half an hour of eating. This is known as the 'gastrocolic reflex' or peristalsis and is what prompts people to want to go to the toilet in the morning.

A normal bowel pattern can range from several times a day to several times a week. It's a good idea to pay attention to what your bowel habit is.

How often should children poo?

When the bowel is working normally, children should produce a soft, easy to pass poo at least 4 times a week. Ideally, children should pass some soft poo every day.

The time it takes our digestive system to turn food into poo is called our bowel transit time. The average time a child's body takes to make poo is between 24 and 36 hours (which is a bit faster than an adult).

Why not try our sweetcorn test to see what your transit time is!

Baby's bowels

Babies' bowel movements change as they go from new-born to the weaning stage (eating solid food) and beyond. The type and amount of poo they pass can also be affected by the sort of milk they are given (breast or formula).
Read more about bowel movements in children aged 0-5 years.
Tips for healthy bowels

Drink plenty (at least 6-8 drinks a day) to keep poo soft.

Eat lots of different foods including fruit and vegetables to help keep poo soft.

Keep active. Running around and playing games helps to keep poo moving through your child's body.

Have a regular routine of sitting on the toilet every day, especially after eating.

Make sure your child sits with their feet flat on the floor and their knees raised above their hips, using a step if necessary

Common bowel problems in children

Constipation affects 1 in 3 children. It is particularly common in children under 5 years old. The majority of these children have what is known as 'functional constipation'. This means there is no underlying physical cause or other medical condition.

Chronic constipation (faecal impaction)

Soiling (encopresis)

Withholding poo

Children with additional needs such as autism are more likely to be affected by tummy problems and constipation.

Toddler diarrhoea (Not to be confused with overflow soiling caused by constipation).

There are also conditions such as Hirschsprung's disease and Spina Bifida which affect a small number of children from birth. Our Guide for Children with Complex Bladder and Bowel Problems is something you can read with your child.

Causes of bowel problems

Passing a painful poo.

Illnesses such as a stomach bug or fever which causes runny poo (diarrhoea).

Some medications, such as painkillers can cause poo problems.

Coeliac disease or a food intolerance

A change in routine such as potty training, starting school and feeling anxious about doing a poo away from home can make it hard to relax and do a poo.

A neurogenic bowel is caused by a nerve problem and causes a loss in bowel function/incontinence.

NHS England video about keeping bowels healthy

A short video recorded by ERIC nurse, Brenda Cheer with tips on keeping your child's bowel working properly and getting poo in the loo.

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Find out what a healthy bowel and normal poo look like. We guide you through common children's bowel problems such as constipation and soiling, and how to identify and treat them.

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The total amount of liquid that a child needs varies depending on their age, size, activity levels and environment. Hot weather, getting lots of exercise and being overweight all mean children need to drink more.

Good drinking habits are important for concentration levels. It also helps to promote good bladder health, helps to prevent urinary tract infections (UTI) and constipation.

If your child doesn't like drinking plain water, then dilute squash or fruit juice is fine.

Feeling thirsty can't be relied on as a sign that children need to drink. This is because their thirst 'cue' may not be well developed. Or, they have reduced awareness of this sensation particularly if they have an additional need. Get more tips on toileting and children's sensory needs.

Baby's bladders

The amount your baby needs to wee can vary. Some babies urinate every one to three hours and others between four to six times a day.

When a baby is poorly with a high temperature for example, or it's hot weather, their usual output of urine may drop by half and still be normal.

The colour of their wee can vary from very clear to dark yellow.

Once you baby is fully weaned (eating solid food) it's important they start to have their drinks in a regular pattern throughout the day. For example, encourage a drink with every meal and also another drink midway between meals.

This regular fluid intake also helps with potty training.

How often should children wee?

School aged children (5 and over) should empty their bladders between 4 and 7 times a day, or every 2/2.5 hours approx.

Younger children need to wee more frequently. Their smaller bladders hold about 120mls of urine at 3 years and this increases in capacity by about 30mls a year. However, their kidneys produce urine at the same rate as older children's kidneys (about 60mls an hour).

It's common for children under 5 to get the message that their bladder needs emptying at a later stage. This means they need to use the toilet more often and at shorter notice.

As children get older, and if their bladder is working well, they become aware of the need to pass urine before the bladder is full, giving them more time use the toilet at convenient intervals; such as at school break time.

Common bladder problems

Wee accidents are very common when children are potty training. However, if leaks are still happening over the age of 5 years, you should book an appointment with a doctor so it can be looked into.

There are different types of urinary incontinence:

Doing lots of small wees (frequency) and/or needing to rush to the toilet (urgency). This is often called 'bladder overactivity'.

Daytime wetting - damp pants or full bladder empty

Finding it hard to relax on the toilet and fully empty their bladder

Structural problems with the bladder usually from birth, such as bladder exstrophy or if the ureters connect to the bladder in the wrong place.

Other conditions such as Spina Bifida which affect a small number of children from birth. This means the messages between the bladder and brain don't work properly so children don't recognise the need to wee. Get more information on complex bladder conditions and how they can be managed.

Night time accidents (bedwetting) are common in children who also have daytime problems. If your child wets the bed and also has accidents in the daytime, this need to be investigated and treated first.

Causes of children's incontinence

Here are some of the different things that can affect the way a child's bladder works:

Most bladder issues in children will be caused by a functional problem. This means everything in your child's bladder is in the right place and should be able to work properly.

Underlying constipation is a common cause of bladder issues and needs to be ruled out. A full bowel can affect the space that the bladder needs to fill and empty properly. Read our factsheet Advice for Children with Constipation for information on how to treat poo problems.

A urinary tract infection (UTI) can make peeing painful and urine smell. UTIs are common in children who have underlying constipation.

Children with additional needs such as autism are more likely to be affected by constipation which can then cause problems with their bladder. They may also find it difficult to recognise thirst due to a sensory processing difference.

Wee accidents are very common when children are potty training and learning how to manage their bladder. They usually clear up once your child goes to school.

If children don't drink enough, their wee can become concentrated. This can irritate their bladder and make it empty when it shouldn't.

Certain drinks can also irritate the bladder such as certain dark-coloured squashes and drinks containing caffeine (cola, energy drinks, hot chocolate etc).

Putting off going to toilet when you need to go ('holding on') makes it more likely an accident will happen.

How to treat incontinence in children

If you think your child has a bladder problem, book an appointment with your GP. They should assess your child and discuss possible treatment.

The doctor should examine your child and ask questions to find out if the bladder problems could be caused by an underlying condition. This is rare, but it is important to check.

Most bladder conditions can be sorted out by following some simple steps which are often described as 'bladder training.'

It is important to remember that children don't have accidents on purpose. They're not caused by laziness or naughtiness.

Try to praise your child for any efforts they make to becoming dry, such as increasing the amount they drink each day.

Take a look at our factsheet Advice for Children with Daytime Bladder Problems for more information on the causes, treatments and bladder training tips.

How to spot an overactive bladder

The bladder is supposed to stay soft and stretchy whilst it's filling and until you get to the toilet. However, some children have an overactive or 'twitchy' bladder.

This means:

A child's bladder signals that it's time to do a wee before the bladder is full. This means the bladder muscles contract before they are ready to empty.

Because of this, you child will go to the toilet more often than other kids their age. They may find it hard to hold on until they get there and even leak urine on the way to the toilet.

Children often do a 'wee dance' or hold themselves as an automatic response to the messages from the bladder, without realising this is what is happening.

What is the main cause of overactive bladder?

Bladder overactivity is one of the most common causes of daytime bladder and wetting problems in children. It can happen for a number of different reasons including:

Being constipated. A full bowel can squash the bladder and make it hard to fill and hold on to wee. Constipation can then cause frequency, urgency and bladder infections.

Not drinking enough. If you are not drinking enough your wee will be dark yellow in colour and very strong. Strong wee can irritate the lining of the bladder and make the twitching worse.

The wrong drinks. Fizzy drinks and drinks with caffeine in them irritate the lining of the bladder. Tea, coffee, cola, hot chocolate and energy drinks all contain caffeine. If the bladder lining is irritated then the bladder twitching will get worse. This means your child will need to go to the toilet more often and have more wetting accidents.

Not getting to the toilet in time. If you 'hold on' for too long, instead of going to the toilet when you feel you need to wee you are more likely to have a wetting accident.

Urinary tract infections (UTI) can make you need to go to the toilet more often than usual and have to get there quickly.

Can an overactive bladder be cured?

Yes, bladder overactivity can be treated successfully and the bladder can start working normally.

There are several treatment options depending on the cause of the overactivity. Some of these may be used in combination.

Children's UTI symptoms

Urinary tract infections can also cause bladder frequency and urgency. This means your child is more likely to need the toilet in a rush and not always get there on time.

The signs your child could have an infection in their bladder include:

Doing lots of small wees more often than usual

Needing to rush to the toilet urgently

Daytime accidents and bedwetting

Their wee might be smelly and/or cloudy

Your child may complain of tummy ache or stingy wee. They may also have a high temperature.

They may not seem ill however, so you wouldn't guess your child had a UTI.

How to treat children's UTI

If you think your child has a UTI, book an appointment with your doctor or nurse. There is a simple urine test that can be done to confirm an infection.

If an infection is found, they may need to take antibiotics to clear it up.

Some children need to stay on antibiotics until well after the UTI is better to help stop the infection coming back. A healthcare professional can explain more about this and do further tests if they think it's necessary.

It's really important to make sure your child changes their pants if they're wet. Sore, damp skin can make UTIs more likely.

FAQs

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Children's bladder health: bladder problems and incontinence - ERIC

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Needing a wee all the time, having to rush to the toilet, damp pants or bedwetting accidents - wee problems are a nuisance, and they're embarrassing. Sorting them out can be as simple as thinking about what your child is drinking.

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Mental health service for children and young people 

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Mental health service for children and young people 

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Stop.Breathe.Think is a game changing mental health service based in the UK. We give young people access to free counselling and support.

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Underlying causes of bedwetting

There can be underlying health conditions causing your child's bedwetting which need to be ruled out and treated if necessary.

Underlying causes of bedwetting include:

Constipation - if your child's bowels become blocked with hard poo, it can put pressure on the bladder and lead to bedwetting. Read about the signs of constipation and how it needs to be treated.

If your child has daytime bladder problems, this needs to be investigated by a healthcare professional first.

A urinary tract infection (UTI) can make your child's wee painful, causing frequency and urgency in their bladder.

Type 1 Diabetes. Alongside bedwetting, other symptoms of this can include feeling thirsty, frequent weeing, weight loss, hunger, blurred vision, tummy pain, vomiting, thrush and tiredness. You must take your child to the doctor if they have these symptoms to be tested.

When children have an additional need or physical disability, it's important their bedwetting should be assessed as it may not be related to their existing condition(s).

Get more information about the causes and treatment of bedwetting in our factsheet:   Advice for Children with Night Time Wetting

Sudden onset bedwetting

Secondary bedwetting (also known as sudden onset bedwetting) is when a child starts to wet again after at least six months of being dry.

The causes of this include:

An underlying health condition such as Type 1 Diabetes (see symptoms in section above). If you think your child could be diabetic, call your doctor so they can be tested.

Urinary tract infection or constipation, which both need treating.

Periods of change and stress in a child's life can also explain why they may suddenly start to wet again after even a long stretch of dryness.

Vasopressin, the hormone that controls how much wee we produce at night can be affected by anxiety. When children feel worried, they produce less vasopressin, so bedwetting is more likely.

Sudden onset bedwetting must be assessed and treated in the same way as primary bedwetting (when a child has never become reliably dry at night).

How to stop children wetting the bed

To stop bedwetting, first you need to know what the cause is, so the right treatment can be given.

The evidence shows the sooner your child is assessed and treated for bedwetting, the better chance they have of becoming dry at night.

NICE guidelines recommend that all children still bedwetting over age 5 should be given a bladder and bowel assessment by a healthcare professional.

Contact your GP for an appointment. There may be a bedwetting or enuresis clinic in your area that your child can be referred to.

Things to do before your appointment:

Check whether your child is drinking plenty during the day and what they're drinking

Make sure they are emptying their bladder before they go to sleep

Complete a night-time diary to record wet and dry nights

Keep a poo diary if you think your child is constipated

Our bedwetting animation explains more about the things you can try to improve your child's chance of being dry at night.

Using a bedwetting alarm

A bedwetting alarm is likely to be the ideal treatment for 'poor arousability' (when children find it hard to wake to a full bladder).

Alarms are a highly effective way of training a child to become dry at night but can be hard work at first.

Your child will need to feel motivated to stop bedwetting and mature enough to cope with the disruption. This is why it's important to talk to your doctor or nurse before trying this treatment.

How does the alarm work?

A bedwetting alarm has a sensor attached to an alarm. When the sensor gets wet, it sets the alarm off, and this should wake your child up. Over time, the alarm helps your child to learn when they need to wee and wake up to go to the toilet.

We sell a wide range of body worn and bed mat alarms in  our online shop.

Alarms aren't available on the NHS, but you may be able to borrow one from your local enuresis (bedwetting) or continence clinic.

Alarms and children with additional needs

There are alarms available for children with additional needs which vibrate and flash. These can be less frightening for a child on the autistic spectrum, for example.

Get more information about using an alarm and the different types available.

Bedwetting alarm tips

Bedwetting alarms need to be used for at least 4 weeks. They rarely work straight away. This is because your child needs to get used to waking up and responding to it.

It's a good idea to encourage your child to practise setting off the alarm before they go to sleep so they know what to expect.

Explain to your child what needs to happen when the alarm goes off e.g. get out of bed, go to the bathroom, change their pants/pyjamas and strip the bottom sheet.

You may choose to sleep in the same room at first, so you are near in the night when it goes off and whilst your child is learning what they need to do.

How will we know it it's working?

At first, your child may empty their bladder before they respond to the alarm. Over time, they will learn to stop the flow of urine when the alarm sounds.

Progress might just be smaller wet patches at first. Try to keep going until you've had 14 dry nights in a row and then you can stop.

If there's been no progress after 12 weeks, stop the treatment and have a break for a few months before trying again.

It can take 2 - 3 months on average for a child to be consistently dry at night. Some children will take longer.

More tips for using an alarm

Reward your child for drinking well during the day and for helping change wet bedding rather than for keeping their bed dry (this is beyond their conscious control).

Avoid only rewarding nights when they don't wet the bed.

Clean the sensor every morning to prolong its life. Replacement sensors can be bought from our shop.

If your child wets more than once a night, you will need to re-attach the alarm to clean underwear after each wetting episode. As your child makes progress, the nightly wetting episodes will decrease.

Even if your child is sure they will no longer wet the bed, encourage them to continue to wear the alarm until they have had 14 dry nights in a row.

Children occasionally have another accident after they appear to be able to stay dry through the night. If this happens, use the alarm again until they have achieved another 14 dry nights.

Stopping using the alarm before your child is fully dry at night can lead to a relapse.

Bedwetting medication

If a bedwetting alarm doesn't help or isn't suitable for your child, treatment with medicines is usually recommended.

Your doctor may suggest a medicine called Desmopressin. Given an hour before sleep, it works by 'topping up' the body's levels of the hormone vasopressin and tells the kidneys to produce less wee at night. It can be taken regularly or just for nights away.

Get more information on using desmopressin as a treatment for bedwetting.

If desmopressin or a bedwetting alarm (or a combination of both) doesn't help, your child may be referred to a specialist, who may recommend other medicines.

Managing bedwetting day to day

Wetting at night is not as big a problem if you can find ways to manage it. Here are some things to try:

Before your child sees a health professional, encourage them to get into good bladder and bowel habits: Make sure they poo regularly (at least 4 times a week) and treat any underlying constipation.

Assess and treat daytime bladder problems first (wetting accidents or urgency for example).

Drink plenty during the day: 6 - 8 glasses of water-based fluid is best. Only have a small drink before going to bed if necessary and ideally stop drinking an hour before bedtime.

Make sure your child fully empties their bladder before they go to sleep.

Move them to the bottom bunk from the top if they share a room. Have a night light and bucket to help if they wake in the night for a wee.

If they wear a pull up at night, have a trial of a few days without one on. Make sure your child understands what they need to do in the night and their bed is well protected. A waterproof under sheet makes changing the bed much easier and saves washing the lower sheets.

Reward your child for drinking well during the day and for helping change wet bedding rather than for keeping their bed dry, which is beyond their conscious control.

Think positively; they can try repeating the phrase "I can be dry!" as they get into bed.

Tips for nights away from home

Bedwetting shouldn't stop your child from joining in with camps and sleepovers.

Here are some tips for a stress free night away:

Reassure your child that wetting the bed is common and the chances are they won't be the only one on the trip who has wetting accidents.

Be prepared. There are lots of products that can help such as pads, pull-ups, sheet covers, special underwear and sleeping bag liners.

Desmopressin can be taken for a one off trip, but your child would need to try it beforehand to work out the right dose and make sure it helps them to be dry.

If your child is taking a sleeping bag they could hide a pull-up or pad at the bottom.

If their underwear or pyjamas are also inside the sleeping bag, they can get dressed for bed in private.

Bedwetting and younger children

There isn't a fixed rule about when to stop using nappies at night as every child is different. If your child can stay dry during a nap, or for 2 or more hours during the day they may be capable of staying dry overnight.

Helping your child master daytime potty training will have taught them many of the skills they need to stay dry at night.

Here are some tips to promote night time dryness in under 5s:

Make sure your child is drinking enough in the day and try to avoid large amounts of fluids at bedtime.

Stop drinks an hour before bedtime OR plan to help them use a potty at night (e.g. if your child is breastfeeding at night).

Help them get into a routine of using the potty or toilet before they go to sleep.

Protect the bed with a waterproof sheet and try putting them to bed without a nappy to see how they manage.

Expect some accidents and understand that these are a very important part of the learning process.

Some children may need to use a potty at night, so make sure you have a potty in their room if possible and a gentle light by the bed.

If your child wakes up at night, help them to use the potty or toilet.

Bedwetting and teenagers

It's common for older children to deny their bedwetting and not want to talk about it with you. Hiding wet sheets can be a way of coping with the embarrassment they feel. It's happening outside their conscious control, and they may secretly worry about it.

There are ways to support your child to manage their wetting such as keeping a diary of wet versus dry nights to see if they can spot a pattern.

If treatments aren't working, ask your doctor or nurse to make a referral for your child to be seen by a specialist.

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Bedwetting - reasons and how to stop it - ERIC

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Information to help work out why your child is bedwetting and how to stop night-time accidents including information about alarms and medication.

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Growing Healthy 0-19 North Yorkshire | HDFT Childrens Health Service

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The role of the Healthy Child Service is to deliver the Healthy Child Programme for children aged 0-19 years and their families.

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Compass phoenix- support children and young people in North Yorkshire 

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Compass phoenix- support children and young people in North Yorkshire 

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Supporting Children & Young People in North Yorkshire

Compass Phoenix is a free, confidential health and wellbeing service for children and young people between the ages of 5-19.

It's also available for young people with Special Educational Needs and Disabilities (SEND) and an Education Health and Care Plan (EHCP) up to the age of 25.

The Compass Phoenix service is for those children and young people who may benefit from receiving early help and prevention of harm work in relation to mild to moderate emotional wellbeing and mental health issues.

The aim of the service is to improve outcomes for children and young people's mental health by strengthening the range of mental health support available to children and young people.

We offer:

One-to-one and group work support and interventions for children and young people aged 9-19, with mild to moderate mental health issues.

Support to schools to develop a whole school approach towards emotional and mental well-being through the delivery of training.

Professional Consultation to school and college staff, providing advice and guidance on emotional wellbeing and mental health to help make sure that children and young people get the right support at the right time in the right place.

Our BUZZ US text messaging service.

Our dedicated team help young people to make sustainable lifestyle changes in order to improve their long-term health, resilience and emotional wellbeing, reduce risk to themselves and others and equip them to reach their potential.

We also work with school and college staff to build their confidence and knowledge of approaches to support the emotional and mental health needs of the children and young people.

How the service can help you

If you are starting to struggle with your mental health, then our caring and dedicated team can meet you face-to-face or we can support you on the phone or by an online video call.

We use 'talking therapies' (sometimes called 'therapeutic interventions') designed to help you cope and to understand your particular issues. We can also suggest useful ways family members and others close to you might be able to support you at home - but this is something we would talk to you about first.

How you can get support if you're a child or young person

You can speak to someone from Compass Phoenix by ringing us on 01904 661916 or on our Freephone number 0800 008 7452.

If you are a young person wanting to make a self-referral, please download our Request for Support form, then email the completed form to phoenix@compass-uk.org

Learn about our BUZZ US text messaging service.

Referrals from parents or carers

We operate an open referral system which means that as well as taking self-referrals we also take referrals from parents and carers. Download our Request for Support form then email the completed form to phoenix@compass-uk.org

Professional referrals

Professionals are also welcome to make referral but we ask them to complete a referral form. If you would like to have a chat first please call 01904 661916 to talk over their concerns before completing a referral form. Download our referral form.

If you would like to request a call back, please complete our Call Back Request

How to access Professional Consultations

Professional Consultation appointment are arranged for school staff to anonymously discuss a young person's mild to moderate mental health concern and receive timely advice, guidance, support, resources and signposting.

This enables school staff to deliver preventative, targeted interventions with the young person / group of young people or to be given the appropriate advice to access other specialised support.

This process provides schools with:

* Timely support and advice
* High quality interventions
* Support children/young people need, when they need it

A more creative approach will be used for primary aged children focusing on character building and self esteem with a focus on motivational skills, self awareness and managing relationships for secondary aged young people.

BUZZ US Text Message Service

Compass offers a confidential text messaging service to young people aged 11-18 across North Yorkshire.

Text 07520 631168 for confidential advice, support and signposting from a wellbeing worker within one working day via text.

When you text BUZZ US, you'll get a message back letting you know if we're open or closed. It'll also tell you what you can do if we are not open and you need help in the meantime.

This might include contacting your doctor, visiting an NHS walk-in centre or calling NHS 111. You can also look up your local child and adolescent mental health service (CAMHS) crisis number. Also remember that if it is an emergency dial 999 or visit A&E.

Text us!

Young people can text BUZZ US about any mental health or wellbeing worries. Such as low mood, stress, eating problem, self harm, anxiety or self esteem.

We will get back to you within a day during the week.

If that feels like too long and you are in need of urgent help or you feel in crisis, please contact the help suggested above and here.

Real people, real help

Once the qualified wellbeing worker - it's a real person! - has introduced themselves, they will ask you questions around your problem to make sure that they are offering you the right support, advice or signposting to other people who can help you.

After you have received the help you need, we'll ask for your feedback. But you can text us again if you need us again!
The service is open Monday - Thursday 9am-5pm and Friday 9am-4.30pm (excluding Bank Holidays).
You can also stop receiving messages from BUZZ US at any stage by texting STOP to the number. We at Compass record and keep all messages they receive in our central files.

Please note this important information

We do not usually inform parents, teachers or anyone else if you contact BUZZ US. We might inform someone if we were concerned about your safety, but we would usually speak to you first.

Your messages are stored and can be seen by other Compass staff who follow the same confidentiality rules. We aim to reply to you within one working day and you should get an immediate bounce-back to confirm we've received your text.

Texts will not be seen outside of normal working hours. If you need help before you hear back from us, contact your doctor, visit a NHS walk-in centre or call NHS 111. If it is an emergency, dial 999 or visit A&E. Our text number does not receive voice calls or MMS picture messages.

We support messaging from UK mobile numbers only (which does not include messages sent from landlines, international mobile numbers and some 'number masking' mobile apps).

Prevent BUZZ US sending messages to you by texting STOP to our number. Please respect your school's mobile phone policy. Messages are charged at your usual rates.

Opening times

Most of the appointments we offer tend to be between 9:00am and 5:00pm Monday to Thursday, and 9:00am and 4:30pm Fridays - but if these times don't suit you, just let us know and we'll see if we can arrange something at a time that's more convenient to you. We are not open on weekends or bank holidays.

Meet the team

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North Yorkshire (Compass Phoenix) (formerly BUZZ and REACH) - Compass

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Compass Phoenix is a free, confidential health and wellbeing service for children and young people between the ages of 5-19. It's also available for young people with Special Educational Needs and Disabilities (SEND) and an Education Health and Care Plan (EHCP) up to the age of 25.

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The Go-To - Emotional wellbeing and mental health

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The home of wellbeing and mental health for young people in North Yorkshire. We’re here to help you find the right help and support for you, to help you stay well, whatever is going on in your life.

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Free, confidential, 24/7 text messaging service for anyone who is struggling to cope.

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Free, confidential, 24/7 text messaging service for anyone who is struggling to cope.

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Shout 85258 is a free, confidential, 24/7 text messaging support service for anyone who is struggling to cope. We launched publicly in May 2019 and we've had more than 750000 conversations with people who are anxious, stressed, depressed, suicidal or overwhelmed and who need immediate support. As a digital service, Shout 85258 has become increasingly critical since Covid-19, being one of the few mental health support services able to operate as normal at this time.

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Shout 85258 is a free, confidential, 24/7 text messaging support service for anyone who is struggling to cope. We launched publicly in May 2019 and we've had more than 750000 conversations with people who are anxious, stressed, depressed, suicidal or overwhelmed and who need immediate support.

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Struggling with an eating disorder? Caring for someone who is? Beat is here to support you.

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Understanding your own trauma - use the free eligibility check 

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Understanding your own trauma - use the free eligibility check 

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This online course is for people who want to understand more about their own trauma or to support others in managing trauma.

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Understanding Tic Disorders: A Round Table on Diagnosis, Treatment, and Research

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In Conversation podcast, Dr. Seonaid Anderson is joined by Dr. Charlotte Hall, Dr. Tammy Hedderly, Joe Kilgariff, and Lisa Rudge for a round table discussion on Tics and Tic Disorders, such as Tourette Syndrome.

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"Since starting alumina it's become the highlight of my week. It's such a safe, non judgemental place which has really helped me in my recovery."

Max

"If you're thinking about joining I'd say go for it, the team are lovely and everyone who does it is so welcoming and supportive"

Abi

Alumina is a free, online 7 week course for young people struggling with self-harm. Each course has up to 14 young people, all accessing the sessions from their own phones, tablets or laptops across the UK. The courses take place on different evenings of the week and are run by friendly, trained counsellors and volunteer youth workers. You don't need an adult to refer you or sign you up, and no-one will see or hear you during the sessions - you'll just join in via the chatbox. We want to help you to find your next steps towards recovery, wherever you are on your journey.

IS ALUMINA RIGHT FOR ME?

Are you...

10-17 years old?

Living in the UK?

Someone who self-harms or worries they might?

Looking for support but not wanting to do it face to face?

Wanting to move towards a life free from self-harm?

If so...

Alumina could be a helpful step forward. If you sign up we'll begin a conversation over email to work out if it might be a good fit - and you can ask us any questions you have. The only rule we have in Alumina is that we don't talk about suicide in the groups. If that's something you are struggling with thinking about we recommend getting in touch with our friends at Papyrus who are better equipped to support you.

"I thought it would be all serious and uncomfortable because of the self-harm talk but actually, the staff have made me laugh, we've been given a space that feels relevant to our ages and most importantly we can turn up in any mood and they'll be there for us." Runa

What's a session like?

"Clicking on the link for the first time was nerve wracking and intense with lots of thoughts going through my head. But within only a few minutes of the session I had a smile on my face and felt comfortable with the staff and the group."

Sasha

"Alumina was quite different to what I expected, I thought it would just be an intense 6 weeks and it would be over like other services. But it was nothing like that - instead I felt and still feel very supported by the staff. The group and staff are like a big family who's always there for me."

Samara

"Clicking that link for the very first time was terrifying. But I knew it could be life-changing. The first session I felt welcome, I no longer felt like an outsider. It's fun, believe me!! Most days I find myself looking forward to the next session because Alumina gives me a sign of hope."

Dan

Questions

We aren't a crisis service so if you're in need of immediate support please contact one of the following:

The Mix: Offering essential support for anyone aged 12-25. For their crisis messenger support service text THEMIX to 85258.
Childline: Support for anyone up to age 18. Call, chat online or email their crisis service.
Samaritans: Call 116123 anytime if you need to talk to someone.

We've changed the shape of our support for young people. This website introduces Alumina, our online support groups for young people struggling with self-harm. We've also recently launched beheadstrong.uk offering young people all kinds of information, stories and videos about looking after your mental and emotional wellbeing. You can find links to some of selfharm.co.uk's most popular articles below.

Yes we have! We have worked with 14-19 year olds for many years but we have always heard from people who are younger (or those who care about them) asking if we do anything for younger people. Then from September 2022 we reduced our age range to 11, and found how important it was to support this age range and that our Early Intervention project was great for this age range. Therefore, from October 2023 we will be aiming our work at young people in secondary school or college (or equivalent) and those transitioning to secondary school and our age range has reduced to 10-17 years old. If you're under 13 we will need to get permission from someone with parental responsibility for you, and we will email them to explain how Alumina works and make sure they are happy with you joining a group.

We aim to group similar aged young people into groups together, so 10-13-year-olds will be offered groups together and 13-17 year olds will be in other groups together. We are happy to work with anyone until the end of their full-time education, therefore we will work with 17- and 18-year-olds so long as they are three months or more away from finishing their education at the end of August.

Meet the team

Live Webinars

We have recently started to do live webinars on YouTube on issues related to self-harm and emotional wellbeing

Supporting Young People Who Self-harm

If you're a parent, professional or friend supporting a young person who's self-harming, we recommend taking an hour to watch this webinar with our Alumina Managers. They explore why people self-harm, why young people especially self-harm, why it becomes addictive, how to break the addiction cycle, and what young people wish the adults around them understood about self-harm.

"Alumina is a well thought through support service for young people; it is professional, caring and accessible to all. Signposting a young person to Alumina will help them begin their recovery journey."

DR. KATE MIDDLETON

Our Alumina advisory panel

More information about self-harm

We've moved some of our most popular articles about self-harm over to beheadstrong.uk, and you can use these links to find them:

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Free online Self-harm support for 10-17 year olds

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"Since starting alumina it's become the highlight of my week. It's such a safe, non judgemental place which has really helped me in my recovery." Max "If you're thinking about joining I'd say go for it, the team are lovely and everyone who does it is so welcoming and supportive" Abi Alumina is a free, online 7 week course for young people struggling with self-harm.

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inourplace | Solihull Approach - Online courses for emotional health and wellbeing.

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inourplace | Solihull Approach - Solihull Approach to sleep

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Sleepfullness The Solihull Approach to sleep addressing the most common infant and child sleep issues Sleep is important for our physical and mental wellbeing, and we know that from birth, sleep is fundamental for healthy brain development.

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List of goods available under the North Yorkshire Local Assistance Fund

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You may apply for up to two awards of emergency food and/or utility credit in any twelve month period. For other items provided under the und, a maximum entitlement of two items (maximum of one white good) may be awarded in the same twelve month period.

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Skip to content

Watch the full video

Thinking of suicide?

Are you, or is a young person you know, not coping with life? For confidential suicide prevention advice contact HOPELINE247.

My whole way of thinking has changed. I feel positive about my future and the people around me. I'm now looking forward to the future and helping others just like me!

Thank you so much for the incredible support PAPYRUS and HOPELINE247 has given me. You helped me in that moment and it kept me alive.

I intend to continue to fundraise for and promote PAPYRUS. I am so proud and humbled to be involved with a wonderful charity, and to have received the support that I have.

Having been personally bereaved by suicide I understand the importance and need for our charity. I am surrounded by others who are as passionate as I am about saving lives.

* All feedback is provided by people who contact PAPYRUS. All feedback has full consent of the user and the user remains fully anonymous. Some feedback may have been adapted to keep the users anonymity.

Our latest news

Stay up to date with PAPYRUS; our news section is regularly updated with helpful advice and guidance, as well as information about our upcoming events and campaigns. If you have any questions or queries please get in touch.

Our upcoming events

Please see below some of our upcoming and exciting events including fundraisers and charity events we will be attending. For more information please get in touch.

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Papyrus UK Suicide Prevention | Prevention of Young Suicide

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PAPYRUS UK is a charity for the prevention of young suicide (under 35) in the UK | Call PAPYRUS HOPELINE247 on 0800 068 4141 Now

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We support main carers of children and young people, as well as parents. You might be a kinship carer, legal guardian, foster carer, grandparent or sibling. If you are the child or young person's main carer, we want to support you. Our advisers are trained and experienced in supporting carers as well as parents.

If you are a family member or friend, but you are not the child or young person's main carer, see our online information for advice around how you can support them. You can also encourage their parent or main carer to contact us.

If you are a professional looking for information about supporting the young people you work with, see our resources for professionals.

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Parents Helpline | Mental Health Help for Your Child

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The YoungMinds Parents Helpline, Webchat and Email provide support and help for parents and carers worried about their child's mental health and wellbeing.

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What is anxiety?

Anxiety is a feeling of worry, fear or unease. It is often experienced as a combination of thoughts, feelings and physical sensations in our body.

All children and young people feel worried sometimes. This is a normal, human reaction to things that feel stressful. For example, before an exam a young person may feel more worried than usual. But they will soon feel calmer after the stressful event has passed.

Anxiety becomes a problem when a child or young person feels stuck in it. When this happens, it can become an overwhelming experience. It can also affect their daily life and limit the things they feel able to do.

If your child or young person is struggling with anxiety, there are things you can do to help them. We've got advice to help you provide reassuring support, work on strategies together and find professional help if they need it.

What makes young people anxious?

A child or young person may be anxious for different reasons. Feeling a bit more worried sometimes is normal and there is not always a clear reason for this. But if your child is feeling unmanageable amounts of anxiety, this is often a sign that something in their life isn't quite right. They may need support to work out what the problem is.

This video by St Catherine's College is a useful way of understanding how stress and anxiety might build up in a person's life.

The following kinds of things can make some children and young people feel anxious:

finding school difficult or experiencing school anxiety

being around someone else who is very anxious, such as a parent

going through a significant change, such as moving house, parents separating or changing school

the death or illness of a close family member or friend

having lots of responsibility, for example caring for other people in their family

experiencing family stress around things like housing, money and debt

going through experiences in which they do not feel safe, such as being bullied, witnessing or experiencing abuse, or experiencing discrimination such as racism, homophobia or transphobia

not getting the right support or having their needs recognised if they have a neurodiverse condition such as autism or ADHD

Signs of anxiety in children and young people

Anxiety often affects our body, thoughts, feelings and behaviour. A child or young person who is struggling with anxiety may also behave differently or start using coping mechanisms to try to manage or avoid the anxiety. Below are some of the signs to look out for in children and young people.

Young people share their experience of anxiety.

How to help your child or young person when they feel panicky

In a very anxious moment, your child or young person may feel frightened or worried about having a panic attack. If this happens, focus on helping them to calm down and feel safe. The strategies below can help.

Breathe slowly and deeply together

Show/hide caption

A hand with five fingers spread. A pointed finger shows instructions for moving around each finger with the words 'Breathe in' as you move upwards, and 'Breathe out' as you move downwards.

Together, hold your hands out in front of you. Trace the outline of each of your fingers slowly with your other hand. Breathe in as you go up each finger, and out as you come down. Move and breathe as slowly as feels comfortable. Over time, encourage your child or young person to breathe out for one or two counts longer than they breathe in. This can help their body to relax.

If you would like to have a copy of this technique with you, you can download and print our resource.

Try using all five senses together

Show/hide caption

A picture of eyes, an ear, a hand, a nose and a mouth. Text reads next to each one: "5 things you can see. 4 things you can hear. 3 things you can touch. 2 things you can smell. 1 thing you can taste."

Connecting with what we can see, touch, hear, smell and taste is sometimes called 'grounding'. Doing grounding techniques can make us feel more present and bring us back into our body. This can reduce the intensity of our anxiety. Think together about what they can see, touch, hear, smell and taste.

For example, they might notice: five different colours; four soft things in the room; three sounds like cars going past the window or the noise of the washing machine; two things they can smell, like a scented candle or a piece of fruit; and one thing they find soothing to eat.

If you would like to have a copy of this technique with you, you can download and print our resource.

Remember, you don't need to do all of these things each time. Everyone is different, and it's about figuring out which of these strategies suits them best.

After they have calmed down, it can help to remind them that the panicky feeling did not last forever. They were able to do things that helped and the feeling stopped.

How to help your child or young person manage their anxiety

As well as managing panicky moments, your child or young person can also learn how to deal with their anxiety over the longer-term.

Many of these strategies are about helping them to understand how their anxiety works and what helps them. The more confident they feel about this, the more they will believe in their ability to cope. This can make anxiety feel more manageable.

As you think about strategies you might try, always remind yourself you're doing your best. It's natural to feel a bit overwhelmed sometimes. But remember, you do not need to try five different things at once. Have a look through these suggestions and pick one or two things you think might help.

There are some daily activities that are really important for our mental health. These are:

physical exercise, or some movement

sleeping well

eating healthily

drinking water

connecting and spending quality time with loved ones

They might sound simple, but they can have a big effect on our mood. Regular exercise can be particularly important because it can help to reduce feelings of anxiety in the body. It doesn't have to be much - walking or gentle yoga can help.

If you have a teenager or young adult, reducing alcohol and caffeinated drinks such as coffee can help. This is because they can trigger the physical symptoms of anxiety.

Some children and young people will need support from a mental health professional. They may benefit from a specific diagnosis or a treatment such as talking therapy. You can find more information about this below.

Young people tell us it also helps to...

think about something you're looking forward to

imagine your thoughts leaving your brain and floating off into the sky

keep yourself occupied

have time out

reflect on how you're feeling

talk to other people you trust

remind yourself you're not alone - odds are someone in your friendship circle has anxiety or depression too

Finding professional help

You might also find helpful...

Useful helplines and websites

While we take care to ensure that the organisations we signpost to provide high quality information and advice, we cannot take responsibility for any specific pieces of advice they may offer. We encourage parents and carers to always explore the website of a linked service or organisation to understand who they are and what support they offer before engaging with them.

Whether you love the page or think something is missing, we appreciate your feedback. It all helps us to support more young people with their mental health.

Please be aware that this form isn't a mental health support service. If your child is in crisis right now and you want to talk to someone urgently, find out who to contact on our urgent help page.

At YoungMinds we take your privacy seriously. If you'd like to read more about how we keep the information we collect safe, take a look at our privacy policy.

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Supporting A Child With Anxiety | Tips and Advice

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If your child or teenager is struggling with anxiety, we've got information about signs and treatment, and practical strategies you can do together.

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Box Breathing Technique - simple strategy to calm anxiety

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4 ideas for supporting a child with anxiety

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School refusal is a difficult experience to go through for the whole family. Learn more about school refusal here, including what to look out for and strategies for how to manage it.

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Today’s question is “Why do some kids misbehave?” and I’m in conversation with Meic Griffiths who leads the primary and secondary response to behavioural management for the Royal Borough of Greenwich

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Learning from angry, aggressive or anxious meltdowns using the '5 Whys' approach

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Angry Outbursts: using anger rules to keep children (and us) safe

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Not fine in school - support for neurodivergent children 

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Not fine in school - support for neurodivergent children 

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FINDING THE RIGHT EDUCATIONAL FIT FOR NEURODIVERGENT CHILDREN

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Resources to support children with anxiety 

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Resources to support children with anxiety 

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Resources to help children with anxiety - Anxiety UK

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Therapy locations Volunteer Fundraise Children and young people with anxiety Anxiety in children and young people According to the NHS, as of 2021, 17% (1 in 6) 6 to 16 year olds experience one or more mental disorders. Anxiety and uncertainty are a normal part of growing up as children and young people face experiences [...]

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Harrogate and District NHS Foundation Trust

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Children’s Autism Assessment Service - Harrogate and District NHS Foundation Trust

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The Autism Assessment Service provides an autism spectrum disorder (ASD) assessment and diagnosis pathway for children and young people aged 0-19.

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Support and advice for parents and carers of autistic children, including support to develop a greater understanding of their child's needs and accessing services that meet the familys needs.

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Daisy chain - supporting autistic and neurodivergent children, young people and adults and their families. 

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Daisy chain - supporting autistic and neurodivergent children, young people and adults and their families. 

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Make a donation

Donate to Daisy Chain (registered with the Fundraising Regulator) to help support our support for autistic and neurodivergent children, young people and adults.

How it all began

Daisy Chain was established s a community iniative in 2003 as the dream of its founder, Lesley Hanson, whose son Jacob was diagnosed as autistic at an early age.

Read Our Story

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We support and empower autistic and neurodivergent individuals through the provision of holistic person-centred services, whilst promoting training, wellbeing, inclusion and acceptance regionally and nationwide.

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Where to get support if you are autistic

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Where to get support if you are autistic

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Friends and family

Telling people close to you about your or your child's autism diagnosis can help them understand how to support you.

They may be able to help with:

everyday things so you have more time to focus on yourself or your child

emotional support

National charities

National Autistic Society

For autistic adults and children, and their families.

Ambitious about Autism

For autistic children and young people, their parents and carers.

Local support groups

The assessment team that diagnosed you or your child should give you information on local support groups.

You can also search for local groups using the National Autistic Society services directory.

Social media and forums

There are many people with experience of autism offering support and sharing their stories on forums and social media.

You do not have to talk to others in online groups, but it can be helpful to look at what they're saying.

A good place to start is the groups run by autism charities. But bear in mind the NHS does not monitor these sites.

Important

Comments on social media and forums are often based on personal experience and should not be taken as advice that would help you or your child.

Facebook

How to use Facebook if you're new to it.

Twitter

How to use Twitter if you're new to it.

Forums and communities

Your school, college or workplace

You can get support to make things easier for you or your child.

Find out what help is available at:

nursery or school - speak to teachers or a special educational needs co-ordinator (SENCO)

college or university - speak to student support services

work - speak to your manager and human resources (HR)

Your local council

You can get some support and financial benefits from your local council.

What's available depends on your situation.

For children and young people

For people under 25, ask your council about their "local offer".

This is the name for the support they provide for young people with special educational needs.

Every council has to have a local offer.

You can also get advice about the local offer from your local special educational needs advice service. Find your nearest information, advice and support (IAS) service on the Council for Disabled Children website

For adults

If you're an autistic adult or care for an autistic adult, ask your council for a needs assessment.

This is an assessment to find out:

what problems you're having with everyday life

what support or financial benefits you might be able to get

For parents and carers

If you look after someone who's autistic, ask your council for a carer's assessment.

This is an assessment to find out what support or financial benefits you might be able to get to help you care for an autistic person.

GPs and autism assessment teams

If you think you or your child needs help from a health professional, speak to a GP or the assessment team that diagnosed you.

They may be able to refer you to a specialist who can help, such as:

an occupational therapist

a speech and language therapist

a mental health specialist

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Find out where you can get support if you or your child are autistic.

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Child Autism UK helping children

Child Autism UK helps children with autism achieve their potential. We provide services to enable children to overcome difficulties with communication, learning and life skills and give families the techniques and strategies to cope with autism through the use of evidence-based strategies. Child Autism UK also provides training for families, schools and professionals working with young children.

Autism, according to the NHS Information Centre, is estimated to affect around 1% of the UK population. That's 700,000 people who live with the condition. Autism is a lifelong condition but the difficulties autistic people in life can be significantly managed through support at an early age. Skill and coping strategies learned as children have lifetime relevance and can make an enormous difference to their ability when they become autistic adults to make the most of their lives.

Is my child autistic?

Often the first contact between a family and Child Autism UK is when a family is struggling to come to terms with any distress their child may be experiencing and any behaviours they may have. Child Autism UK provides a helpline that can provide parents in this situation with valuable advice. We offer information to help them make informed decisions about their next steps.

How do we get a diagnosis for autism?

Assistance available for the families of autistic children depends on the diagnosis of the child and how the child is being affected by the condition. The diagnosis process and the Education and Healthcare (EHC) Plan process are significant hurdles. Child Autism UK provides advice and support to families facing the processes on which funding for the treatment of the condition depends. We can also provide a limited number of Bursaries to families unhappy with their final EHC Plan (subject to meeting eligibility criteria).

What support is available for autism?

There is a range of support that can be put in place to help your child overcome obstacles they are experiencing. Child Autism UK promotes early behavioural intervention based on strategies from Applied Behaviour Analysis (ABA). This ensures children learn life skills and coping mechanisms that will equip them for life within education and adult life. ABA used within a properly designed programme at an early age can help transform the lives of autistic children and their families.

Child Autism UK

Child Autism UK has been providing services in the UK for over 25 years. Under our previous name 'Peach', we were instrumental in establishing ABA in the UK. We have a very dedicated team that continues to provide excellent services, and information and advice to parents. We want every autistic child to reach their potential. We really value partnerships working with families, schools, other professionals and ABA practitioners.

Child Autism UK has been involved in setting standards and ethical practises in the UK for many years and the CEO and Clinical Manager are involved through the UK Society for Behaviour Analysis. The UK-SBA sets standards and ensures ethical and values-led practise of Behaviour Analysis here in the UK. Their register of practitioners is accredited by the Professional Standards Authority (PSA) and all Child Autism Staff are registrants.

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Support, advice and services for autistic children - Child Autism UK - releasing potential

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Peach offers early intervention for young children with autism and is the leading UK provider of EIBI / ABA (Applied Behavioural Analysis) services and support.

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Ambitious about Autism is the national charity for autistic children and young people. We stand with autistic children, young people and their families to champion rights, campaign for change and create opportunities.

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Our Autism section has information, interactive tools and therapy guides to help you with raising an autistic child.

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When to start preparing autistic children for puberty

Autistic children might need time to understand and adjust to changes in their lives. If your child is well prepared for the physical changes of puberty, your child is less likely to feel confused or worry that there's something wrong.

You know your child best, so you're the best person to decide how much preparation time your child needs.

As a guide, puberty usually begins around:

10-11 years for girls

11-13 years for boys.

But it's normal for the start of puberty to range from 8-13 years in girls and 9-14 years in boys. So there's no way of knowing exactly when your child will start puberty.
Autism doesn't affect when puberty starts.
You might like to talk with staff at your child's school about what they're covering in class. By working with school staff, you can make sure your child is getting the same messages at home and school. You can also check that school lessons don't go too fast or assume your child understands certain things when they don't.

What to say about puberty to autistic children

For younger children, the differences between adult bodies and their bodies can be a great starting point. Children can link having a beard, breasts or underarm hair to the idea of 'having an adult body'.

For older primary-age children, you can use the word 'puberty'. You might say, 'Puberty is when a child's body changes into an adult body'. And then when your child notices physical differences in other people, you can talk about them in relation to 'puberty'. This can help your child understand the change from child to adult.

Some autistic children might understand what happens to other people but need support to apply this understanding to themselves. It can help to make clear statements like 'As you change into an adult, you'll also have underarm hair'.

An 'All about me' book can help your child see how they change over time. It could include pictures of your child now and when they were younger.

It will also help to explain that boys and girls develop differently. Your child might also have the wrong idea about some issues, so you need to watch out for things that need more explanation. For example, extra hair grows on the underarms and pubic area in women and also on the chest and chin of a man - but not all over the body.

Being careful with language about puberty

You might need to be careful about language, particularly if your child takes things literally.

For example, if you describe your child's voice as 'breaking', your child might find this worrying. Instead you could say something like, 'Your voice is changing and will get deeper'. You could also explain that men's voices are usually deeper than women's. Your child's father's or older brother's voice could be a good example.

It's best to use formal terms like 'breasts' or 'penis' for body parts. But it's also a good idea to introduce informal names for body parts too - for example, 'boobs' for breasts. Your child might hear these words at school or other places.

Tricky questions about puberty from autistic children

If your autistic child asks awkward or tricky questions, try to be patient and honest. It's OK to say, 'I don't know - let's work it out or look it up together'.

If your child asks questions at inappropriate moments, it might help to have a standard response that everyone in the family can use. For example, 'That's a good question, but let's talk about it when we get home'. Your child needs to know, though, so remember to come back to the question.

You can also help your child feel good about themselves and develop a positive self-image by reassuring your child that physical and sexual changes are a natural part of growing up.

Visual supports to help autistic children understand puberty

You could show your child pictures of yourself at different ages so your child can see how you've changed over time. This can help your child understand when puberty happens.

You could also use drawings of a body to show how puberty looks at different ages. Label the body parts and highlight the changes that will happen - from getting taller to growing pubic hair.

Social stories to help autistic children understand puberty

You can create social stories for many puberty topics.

For example, social stories might cover developing breasts and widening hips, starting periods and so on.

The shape of my body will change.

I will start to have periods.

Or social stories might cover penis and testicle growth, erections and voice changes.

My body will look different.

My body will do new things.

My voice will sound different.

And here's an example of a social story on wet dreams.

When I'm sleeping, I might have a dream. When I wake up, my sheets might be sticky and wet. This is called a wet dream.

When I have a wet dream, I should always wash my testicles (balls) and penis when I wake up.

Wet dreams happen to many boys.

Boys can be unsettled when they see semen for the first time, so it's a good idea to explain about erections and wet dreams before they happen. Let your child know it's normal. If you relate wet dreams and erections to the other changes your child is noticing, like more hair, this can help them understand that it's a normal part of growing up.

You'll probably need to go over these messages many times with your child. Try to be patient with your child - and yourself. It might help to share experiences and get support from other parents. You could try online or face-to-face support groups.

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Preparing for puberty: autistic children

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Autistic children entering puberty need support. Careful language, visual supports and social stories can help them understand how their bodies will change.

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Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a condition that affects people's behaviour. People with ADHD can seem restless, may have trouble concentrating and may act on impulse.

Symptoms of ADHD tend to be noticed at an early age and may become more noticeable when a child's circumstances change, such as when they start school.

Most cases are diagnosed when children are under 12 years old, but sometimes it's diagnosed later in childhood.

Sometimes ADHD was not recognised when someone was a child, and they are diagnosed later as an adult.

The symptoms of ADHD may improve with age, but many adults who were diagnosed with the condition at a young age continue to experience problems.

People with ADHD may also have additional problems, such as sleep and anxiety disorders.

Getting help

Many children go through phases where they're restless or inattentive. This is often completely normal and does not necessarily mean they have ADHD.

But you should discuss your concerns with your child's teacher, their school's special educational needs co-ordinator (SENCO) or a GP if you think their behaviour may be different from most children their age.

It's also a good idea to speak to a GP if you're an adult and think you may have ADHD, but were not diagnosed with the condition as a child.

What causes attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD)?

The exact cause of ADHD is unknown, but the condition has been shown to run in families.

Research has also identified a number of possible differences in the brains of people with ADHD when compared with those without the condition.

Other factors suggested as potentially having a role in ADHD include:

being born prematurely (before the 37th week of pregnancy)

having a low birthweight

smoking or alcohol or drug abuse during pregnancy

ADHD can occur in people of any intellectual ability, although it's more common in people with learning difficulties.

How attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is treated

For children with ADHD, although there's no cure, it can be managed with appropriate educational support, advice and support for parents and affected children, alongside medicine, if necessary.

For adults with ADHD, medicine is often the first treatment offered, although psychological therapies such as cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) may also help.

Living with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD)

Parents of children with ADHD

Looking after a child with ADHD can be challenging, but it's important to remember that they cannot help their behaviour.

Some day-to-day activities might be more difficult for you and your child, including:

getting your child to sleep at night

getting ready for school on time

listening to and carrying out instructions

being organised

social occasions

shopping

Adults with ADHD

Adults with ADHD may find they have problems with:

organisation and time management

following instructions

focusing and completing tasks

coping with stress

feeling restless or impatient

impulsiveness and risk taking

Some adults may also have issues with relationships or social interaction.

Page last reviewed: 24 December 2021
Next review due: 24 December 2024

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Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD)

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Read about attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), a condition that affects people's behaviour.

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The ADHD Foundation Neurodiversity Charity - an integrated health and education service.

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Here are some helpful Resources for Children, Young People & Adults with ADHD. Websites, organisations, services, information, products and social networking sites dedicated to ADHD on the Internet.

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Children and ADHD – Overcoming Their Sleep Challenges

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Children with ADHD often struggle with sleep. Learn effective strategies to help your ADHD child overcome sleep challenges.

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Can what you eat help attention, focus, or hyperactivity? There's no clear scientific evidence that ADHD is caused by diet or nutritional problems. But certain foods may play at least some role in affecting symptoms in a small group of people, research suggests.

So are there certain things you shouldn't eat if you have the condition? Or if your child has it, should you change what they eat?

Here are answers to questions about elimination diets, supplements, and foods that may ease symptoms of the disorder. But remember to check with your doctor to make sure these foods and diets don't affect your medicine or the way it's absorbed.

Foods to Avoid With ADHD

Simple carbohydrates. Cut down on how many of these you eat:

Candy

Corn syrup

Honey

Products made from white flour

White rice

Potatoes without the skins.

Learn More: What to Eat (and Avoid) for Improved ADHD Symptoms

Nutritional Supplements for ADHD

Some experts recommend that people with ADHD take a 100% vitamin and mineral supplement each day. Other nutrition experts, though, think that people who eat a normal, balanced diet don't need vitamin or micronutrient supplements. They say there's no scientific evidence that vitamin or mineral supplements help all children who have the disorder.

While a multivitamin may be OK when children, teens, and adults don't eat balanced diets, mega-doses of vitamins can be toxic. Avoid them.

ADHD symptoms vary from person to person. Work with your doctor closely if you're considering taking a supplement.

Elimination Diets for ADHD

To follow one of these, you pick a particular food or ingredient you think might be making your symptoms worse. Then you don't eat anything with that in it. If the symptoms get better or go away, then you keep avoiding that food.

If you cut a food from your diet, can it improve your symptoms? Research in all these areas is ongoing and the results are not clear-cut. Most scientists don't recommend this approach for managing ADHD, though. Still, here are some common areas of concern and what the experts suggest:

Food additives: In 1975, an allergist first proposed that artificial colors, flavors, and preservatives might lead to hyperactivity in some children. Since then, researchers and child behavior experts have hotly debated this issue.

Some say the idea of cutting all those things out of a diet is unfounded and unsupported by science. But one study has shown that some food coloring and one preservative did make some children more hyperactive. But the effects varied according to age and additive.

Based on this and other recent studies, the American Academy of Pediatrics now agrees that eliminating preservatives and food colorings from the diet is a reasonable option for children with ADHD. Some experts recommend that people with ADHD avoid these substances:

Artificial colors, especially red and yellow

Food additives such as aspartame, MSG (monosodium glutamate), and nitrites. Some studies have linked hyperactivity to the preservative sodium benzoate.

What Is an ADHD diet?

It may include the foods you eat and any nutritional supplements you may take. Ideally, your eating habits would help the brain work better and lessen symptoms, such as restlessness or lack of focus. You may hear about these choices that you could focus on:

Overall nutrition: The assumption is that some foods you eat may make your symptoms better or worse. You might also not be eating some things that could help make symptoms better.

Supplementation diet: With this plan, you add vitamins, minerals, or other nutrients. The idea is that it could help you make up for not getting enough of these through what you eat. Supporters of these diets think that if you don't get enough of certain nutrients, it may add to your symptoms.

Elimination diets: These involve not eating foods or ingredients that you think might be triggering certain behaviors or making your symptoms worse.

Eat Nutritious Food

ADHD diets haven't been researched a lot. Data is limited, and results are mixed. Many health experts, though, think that what you eat and drink may help ease symptoms.

Experts say that whatever is good for the brain is likely to be good for ADHD. You may want to eat:

A high-protein diet. Beans, cheese, eggs, meat, and nuts can be good sources of protein. Eat these kinds of foods in the morning and for after-school snacks. It may improve concentration and possibly make ADHD medications work longer.

More complex carbohydrates. These are the good guys. Load up on vegetables and some fruits, including oranges, tangerines, pears, grapefruit, apples, and kiwi. Eat this type of food in the evening, and it may help you sleep.

More omega-3 fatty acids. You can find these in tuna, salmon, and other cold-water white fish. Walnuts, Brazil nuts, and olive and canola oils are other foods with these in them. You could also take an omega-3 fatty acid supplement. The FDA approved an omega compound called Vayarin as part of an ADHD management strategy.

Some children become hyperactive after eating candy or other sugary foods. No evidence suggests that this is a cause of ADHD, though. For the best overall nutrition, sugary foods should be a small part of anyone's diet. But you can try cutting them to see if symptoms improve.

Small amounts of it may help with some ADHD symptoms in children, studies have shown. But the side effects of caffeine may outweigh any potential benefit. Most experts recommend that people eat or drink less caffeine or just avoid it. It you take medication for ADHD, caffeine can make some side effects worse.

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Can what you eat help attention, focus, or hyperactivity? There's no clear scientific evidence that ADHD is caused by diet or nutritional problems. But certain foods may play at least some role in affecting symptoms in a small group of people, research suggests. So are there certain things you shouldn't eat if you have the condition?

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Strategies to help when your child is anxious about school 

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Strategies to help when your child is anxious about school 

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What To Do If Your Child Is Anxious About School

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If your child is anxious about going back to school, here are some things you can do to support them and encourage them to talk about how they’re feeling.

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Struggling with debt or worried about money? At CAP we offer free, confidential debt help, budgeting support and advice through local UK based churches.

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Carers’ Resource provides support for carers, no matter what their age, race, religion or needs.

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The Sibling Group , London, United Kingdom. 350 likes · 98 talking about this. Registered charity for children who have a brother or sister with special needs and disabilities!

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For brothers and sisters of disabled children and adults

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For brothers and sisters of disabled children and adults

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Skip to main content

His sleep is frequently disrupted because his brother Arlo needs help at night.

NEW RESOURCES - Sibs Talk Lite

Sibs Talk Lite is a new set of FREE resources for primary and secondary schools to support siblings who are growing up with a brother or sister who is disabled, has special educational needs (SEND) or a serious long-term health condition.

Sibs Christmas cards now on sale!

Buy a pack of our beautifully designed Christmas cards and help support our work with siblings of disabled people.

NEW - Sibling group leader training, 2nd February 2024

Do you want to run group support for young siblings? This online session will give you all the information you need to plan, set up, run and evaluate your own local group

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Sibs is the UK charity for people who grow up with a disabled brother or sister.

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Relate offers counselling services for every type of relationship nationwide. We provide advice on marriage, LGBT issues, divorce and parenting.

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Love Shouldn't Hurt Listen  Learn Sessions

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While there is no one-size-fits-all approach, the earlier parents start the conversation the better.

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NSPCC - talking to children about racism

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NSPCC - talking to children about racism

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"I am struggling with the racist bullying I get at school... I feel like everyone is against me. School is a quite an isolating place and nobody has ever stood up for me.

"I don't really want to address it to the school because that'll create more drama and it will make more people turn against me and my school life will be even more miserable. I'd rather the school did a talk about racism and its history."*

*Girl, aged 12.

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Advice to help parents or concerned adults understand how to talk to children about race and racism, and what you can do to support a child who's experiencing racial bullying.

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Helping Kids Embrace Diversity

Dr. Roger Harrison offers parents advice on how to nurture empathy and embrace diversity from an early age.

Why Is it Important to Talk About Race and Racism?

When we teach kids early on that it's OK to talk about race, we help them to understand, respect, and appreciate the differences between people.

This builds empathy and compassion for others so that kids are better able to see when things in their world seem unjust or unfair - and can do something about it.

What's the Best Way to Talk About Race and Racism?

There's no "right" way to talk to your kids about race or racism. For each family, that conversation will be different, depending on your own race, nationality, and personal experience with racism.

Here are some ways to get the conversation started, and keep it going:

First, get the facts. By learning about the issues, you'll be better able to report them. Listen to a podcast, watch a show, or read up on the history of racism and civil rights so that you're prepared to talk and answer any questions.

Clarify your family's values. Use your words, your example, and your actions to show your children what you believe in. Values to focus on can include equal treatment for all, justice, standing up for those who are suffering, and respecting all people no matter the color of their skin, the language they speak, or other differences.

Speak in simple terms. Don't overwhelm kids with too much information. State the facts, simply and clearly. If you want to address something that's happened in the news, be honest about what happened, but don't give kids more info than they need.

Be age-appropriate. Topics of race and racism are big-picture issues, and this can be hard for younger kids to grasp. Here are suggestions for addressing it by age:

Preschoolers: Kids this age are learning about right and wrong, and have a keen sense of fairness (and they'll let you know about it!). So talk about what's fair and what's not. Give examples kids can relate to, such as: "What if someone made a rule that says everyone with [your child's hair or eye color] has to eat a different snack at snack time than the rest of the class? Does that seem fair?"

School-age kids: Use practical examples from everyday life to help school-age kids understand how they might feel if they're discriminated against or left out on purpose. Something like, "How would you feel if someone held on to all the swings during recess and didn't give any other kids a turn?" Or, "How would you feel if you saw a fifth-grader bullying a first-grader?" Then, connect these questions to real-life examples of groups of people who have been discriminated against. Asking questions like these helps to increase kids' empathy and spark their passion to stand up for others.

Preteens and teens: Older kids and teens are better prepared to tackle tougher topics. They can understand how someone might feel if they are a target of racism, but they may feel helpless to do anything about it. Brainstorming ways to help - such as speaking up for a friend who's bullied or excluded because of skin color, or writing letters to school principals or elected officials - can help kids feel empowered.

Ask questions - lots of them. Help your child process thoughts and feelings by asking questions like, "What do you think about what you saw on TV?", "What have you heard?" or "What are your friends talking about?" This helps you get a sense of your child's understanding so you can fill in any gaps with facts or emphasize the values that you hold in your family.

Create a safe place to share feelings. Tough conversations like these bring up strong emotions, like anger, sadness, confusion, and others. Kids who have been victims of racism, or have family members who have been, might have even stronger feelings or fears around these topics. Let your child know that their feelings are important and OK. It helps to share your own feelings in a healthy way. Say something like, "I feel sad right now and that's OK. I won't always feel this way." This helps kids put things into perspective.

Keep the conversation going. Talking to your kids about race and racism shouldn't be a one-time thing. Encourage your child to come to you with questions and continue to talk about it.

Race and Racism: What If I Don't Have an Answer?

It's OK not to have all the answers. If you don't know how to answer something, be honest and say so. Tell your child that you'll find out and share what you've learned.

Race and Racism: What Else Can We Do as a Family?

Parents can do many things to raise compassionate kids who want to help others. Here are some to do together as a family:

Befriend people who are different. Consider choosing a school, daycare, or club with kids from other areas and different backgrounds. This way, kids learn that they can find friends anywhere.

Learn about other cultures. Learn together about people from other places and cultures. Read books, watch movies, listen to music, and learn about celebrations that aren't part of your own traditions. Attend cultural fairs and museums that highlight stories, art, and the history of people who are different from you.

Speak up. When you see something that isn't fair, do something about it. Say something. Write a letter. Create art that supports a cause - or start one. And encourage your kids to do the same.

Talk often as a family and do things together to learn about and celebrate the differences between people. You'll help nurture your child's empathy for other people, and your own.

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Race and the harmful effects of racism are common topics of conversation for some families. Other parents, though, might talk about racism and discrimination with their kids rarely, or not at all.To help put an end to racism, everyone has to take an active role, no matter who they are.

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Single parents - support, finance and help

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How to not need a holiday after the holidays

The holidays can be a stressful time for single parents, Natalie is a volunteer in our Wellbeing Digital Group and recently held an online workshop where she shared her 'go to' tools for managing the...

Read more

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We are Gingerbread, the charity for single parent families. We provide expert advice and practical support for single mums and dads in England and Wales.

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It is normal to think about how we look but we shouldn’t pressure ourselves to look a certain way. Tips for staying body positive.

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It’s normal to worry about the way you look sometimes, especially as you grow and go through puberty. Childline is here to support you.

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Teen body image and self esteem - practical guide for parents. 

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Teen body image and self esteem - practical guide for parents. 

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Teen Body Image and Self Esteem: A Practical Guide for Parents

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This guide gives practical advice for improving the self-esteem of teenagers and supporting them as they grow up.

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inourplace | Solihull Approach – Online courses for emotional health and wellbeing.

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inourplace | Solihull Approach – Falling out and making up: skills for life

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Falling out and making up: skills for life For all parents navigating the inevitable ups and downs of their relationships Building a stronger relationship together Arguing is normal in every relationship – it is also a life skill we learn throughout childhood and adolescence through our close relationships. Quotes Bold Streamline Icon: https://streamlinehq.com ’Parents don’t

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"Since starting alumina it's become the highlight of my week. It's such a safe, non judgemental place which has really helped me in my recovery."

Max

"If you're thinking about joining I'd say go for it, the team are lovely and everyone who does it is so welcoming and supportive"

Abi

Alumina is a free, online 7 week course for young people struggling with self-harm. Each course has up to 14 young people, all accessing the sessions from their own phones, tablets or laptops across the UK. The courses take place on different evenings of the week and are run by friendly, trained counsellors and volunteer youth workers. You don't need an adult to refer you or sign you up, and no-one will see or hear you during the sessions - you'll just join in via the chatbox. We want to help you to find your next steps towards recovery, wherever you are on your journey.

IS ALUMINA RIGHT FOR ME?

Are you...

10-17 years old?

Living in the UK?

Someone who self-harms or worries they might?

Looking for support but not wanting to do it face to face?

Wanting to move towards a life free from self-harm?

If so...

Alumina could be a helpful step forward. If you sign up we'll begin a conversation over email to work out if it might be a good fit - and you can ask us any questions you have. The only rule we have in Alumina is that we don't talk about suicide in the groups. If that's something you are struggling with thinking about we recommend getting in touch with our friends at Papyrus who are better equipped to support you.

"I thought it would be all serious and uncomfortable because of the self-harm talk but actually, the staff have made me laugh, we've been given a space that feels relevant to our ages and most importantly we can turn up in any mood and they'll be there for us." Runa

What's a session like?

"Clicking on the link for the first time was nerve wracking and intense with lots of thoughts going through my head. But within only a few minutes of the session I had a smile on my face and felt comfortable with the staff and the group."

Sasha

"Alumina was quite different to what I expected, I thought it would just be an intense 6 weeks and it would be over like other services. But it was nothing like that - instead I felt and still feel very supported by the staff. The group and staff are like a big family who's always there for me."

Samara

"Clicking that link for the very first time was terrifying. But I knew it could be life-changing. The first session I felt welcome, I no longer felt like an outsider. It's fun, believe me!! Most days I find myself looking forward to the next session because Alumina gives me a sign of hope."

Dan

Questions

We aren't a crisis service so if you're in need of immediate support please contact one of the following:

The Mix: Offering essential support for anyone aged 12-25. For their crisis messenger support service text THEMIX to 85258.
Childline: Support for anyone up to age 18. Call, chat online or email their crisis service.
Samaritans: Call 116123 anytime if you need to talk to someone.

We've changed the shape of our support for young people. This website introduces Alumina, our online support groups for young people struggling with self-harm. We've also recently launched beheadstrong.uk offering young people all kinds of information, stories and videos about looking after your mental and emotional wellbeing. You can find links to some of selfharm.co.uk's most popular articles below.

Yes we have! We have worked with 14-19 year olds for many years but we have always heard from people who are younger (or those who care about them) asking if we do anything for younger people. Then from September 2022 we reduced our age range to 11, and found how important it was to support this age range and that our Early Intervention project was great for this age range. Therefore, from October 2023 we will be aiming our work at young people in secondary school or college (or equivalent) and those transitioning to secondary school and our age range has reduced to 10-17 years old. If you're under 13 we will need to get permission from someone with parental responsibility for you, and we will email them to explain how Alumina works and make sure they are happy with you joining a group.

We aim to group similar aged young people into groups together, so 10-13-year-olds will be offered groups together and 13-17 year olds will be in other groups together. We are happy to work with anyone until the end of their full-time education, therefore we will work with 17- and 18-year-olds so long as they are three months or more away from finishing their education at the end of August.

Meet the team

Live Webinars

We have recently started to do live webinars on YouTube on issues related to self-harm and emotional wellbeing

Supporting Young People Who Self-harm

If you're a parent, professional or friend supporting a young person who's self-harming, we recommend taking an hour to watch this webinar with our Alumina Managers. They explore why people self-harm, why young people especially self-harm, why it becomes addictive, how to break the addiction cycle, and what young people wish the adults around them understood about self-harm.

"Alumina is a well thought through support service for young people; it is professional, caring and accessible to all. Signposting a young person to Alumina will help them begin their recovery journey."

DR. KATE MIDDLETON

Our Alumina advisory panel

More information about self-harm

We've moved some of our most popular articles about self-harm over to beheadstrong.uk, and you can use these links to find them:

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Free online Self-harm support for 10-17 year olds

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"Since starting alumina it's become the highlight of my week. It's such a safe, non judgemental place which has really helped me in my recovery." Max "If you're thinking about joining I'd say go for it, the team are lovely and everyone who does it is so welcoming and supportive" Abi Alumina is a free, online 7 week course for young people struggling with self-harm.

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Self-harm is when you hurt yourself as a way of dealing with very difficult feelings, […]

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Click here to download our resource: Self-harm
Audio Version - Please click on the section of the leaflet you would like to listen to.

What is self-harm?:

https://www.papyrus-uk.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/What-is-selfharm.mp3

What causes someone to self-harm?:

https://www.papyrus-uk.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/What-causes-someone-to-selfharm.mp3

I am concerned about someone self-harming - what can I do?:

https://www.papyrus-uk.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/I-am-concerned-about-a-YP-how-do-I-support-them.mp3

I am someone who uses self-harm - what can I do?:

https://www.papyrus-uk.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/I-selfharm-how-do-I-help-myself.mp3

Self-harm and suicide:

https://www.papyrus-uk.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/Selfharm-and-suicide.mp3

Myths and facts:

https://www.papyrus-uk.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/Myths-and-Facts.mp3

Text only copy (To translate document please select language options at the top of the webpage)
What is self-harm?
The term 'self-harm' usually refers to someone intentionally causing themselves harm. Self-harm is often a physical response to emotional pain and/or intolerable experiences. It can also include self-neglect and engaging in risk-taking behaviour. Self-harm has a function for every individual who self-harms and stopping is not always straightforward even when you want to. Whether you are someone who self-harms, or you care about someone who self-harms, the following information is intended to shed some light on, what can be, a highly stigmatised and complex subject.
What causes someone to self-harm?
For many young people self-harm is used as a coping mechanism. However, it's important to remember that everyone's reasons for self-harming are individual to them. Control, release, punishment, compulsion and expression are just a selection of reasons as to why someone may injure themselves. Sometimes, self-harm can also be a reaction to overwhelming life events that may feel unmanageable e.g. traumatic experiences in childhood such as abuse.
I am concerned about someone self-harming - what can I do?
In some situations there are clear signs that a young person is self-harming, at other times it can be harder to tell. If you think someone you care for is harming themselves, we encourage you to reach out to them. It's not always an easy conversation to have - but we recommend:

Asking sensitively and directly if they have been harming themselves

Managing your reactions and remaining calm

Exploring the reasons behind their self-harm

Listening to their explanation

Trying to understand what's happening from their point of view

Avoiding taking control of the situation

Encouraging them to seek support

I am someone who uses self-harm - what can I do?
The more you understand your own self harm, the more you can feel in control and hopefully less distressed. Understanding why you self-harm may help you talk about it with others too. There are steps you can take to ensure that you are safe and supported. Taking control of your self-harm can be really challenging - but we suggest:

Considering what self-harm does for you and the role of it in your life

Looking for patterns in your self-harm and keeping a diary

Exploring possible alternative coping mechanisms and distraction techniques

Caring for your injuries by accessing medical attention when needed and keeping a first-aid kit * Reaching out to someone you trust and talking things through

Getting some professional support in place by talking to your GP, a helpline or a young person's counselling service

Remembering that things can change for you - there is HOPE

Self-harm and suicide
Self-harm is a struggle often shared with our Suicide Prevention Advisers at HOPELINE247. More than half of people who die by suicide have a history of self-harm (NHS 2018).

Self-harm may, or may not, be a sign that someone is feeling suicidal - it is very important to ask and not make assumptions. If you are a young person having thoughts of suicide - or you are concerned about a young person who may be suicidal - you can call HOPELINE247 on 0800 068 41 41 for practical advice and support.
Myths and facts
Myth: Young people who self-harm are just looking for attention.

Fact: The phrase 'attention-seeking' dismisses the real reasons causing someone to injure themselves. Consider what's being communicated.

Myth: It's just a phase - they'll grow out of it.

Fact: Self-harm can affect any person at any age and is not something that only young people struggle with. There are many myths about self-injury. The best way to understand and support someone is to talk to them directly, being clear you are not judging them or trying to make decisions for them.
Further support Self Injury Support
Self Injury Support run a helpline (0808 800 8088) and text service (07537 432 444) 7pm - 10pm on Mondays and Thursdays.

There are also lots of resources and self-help links on the website: www.selfinjurysupport.org.uk
HOPELINE247
Call: 0800 068 4141

Text: 88247

Email: pat@papyrus-uk.org

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Self-harm | Papyrus UK | Suicide Prevention Charity | | Learn More

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Self-harm: Advice and support for young people

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If you self-harm or are thinking about self-harming, there is support available to you.

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Be Aware

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Be Aware is always growing and evolving, so we can share they key messages with you. If you would like to share any feedback please get in touch with use here.

If you would like to be involved in the development of further resources and information for the site; or would like to share any experiences of exploitation you can contact us on the link below:

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Promote posts across your social media networks, or like and follow us on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter and share our content.

Additional resources:

MACE:

Learn all about our Multi Agency Child Exploitation and Contextual Safeguarding Strategy, including procedures, practice guidance, One Minute Guides and frequently asked questions here:

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Enter the site below: Be Aware is always growing and evolving, so we can share they key messages with you. If you would like to share any feedback please get in touch with use here.

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What is body image?

Body image is how we think and feel about ourselves physically, and how we believe others see us.

When we talk about body image, there are lots of ways we can think about our body and the way we look. You might find that there are times when you like your body, or parts of your body, and times when you struggle with how you look.

Instagram artwork by @allbodiesart. On top of a light green square it reads in capitals: 'My body is good', with a list in lower case describing how your body is good regardless of your doubts.

Body image is not just about our weight, it can also be things like:

comparing how you look with friends or people you follow on social media

struggling to love and accept your body

feeling as though your body shape is not represented in the media

hiding your body because you feel ashamed by it

struggling to find clothes for your body, particularly if you have a physical disability

feeling misunderstood about your body when people make assumptions about things like why you might need a wheelchair

feeling like you are not attractive enough

birthmarks, surgery scars or acne affecting how you feel about how you look

feeling as though your body does not match your gender. For information on this, have a look at our page on gender and mental health

Artwork credit: @jen.s. The artwork depicts text in red, yellow, green and blue which reads: 'we are all born beautiful'. The word 'beautiful' has lines around it to emphasise the word.

These thoughts about how we look are often influenced by things going on around us. It can be what we see every day on social media, what the characters we see on TV look like, or seeing adverts about 'improving how you look'. All of this can contribute to how we feel about our body.

Other influences might be:

the media promoting one type of body as 'fit and healthy' with little to no representation of different bodies

comments from friends or family about your body

social media promoting what should be the 'perfect body' image

clothes limited to fit certain body types

adverts, health campaigns or lessons at school on what is a ' healthy body'

If you feel that you are comparing your body with things you see every day, you are not alone. Lots of us are influenced by the things around us, which can impact our mental health.

The world is full of a spectrum of shapes and sizes. And we should all be represented in the media because unless we see this, it's almost like it doesn't exist.

Jada Sezer, YoungMinds ambassador

How can body image affect my mental health?

Text on a yellow background with the words 'struggle' and 'body image' highlighted in blue, the whole text reads: 'Men struggle with body image too'.

If you are having these thoughts and feelings about how you look, you might be struggling with your body image. You may find everyday tasks like eating, getting dressed or going out with friends becoming more difficult.

This can be at any point in your life or continuously throughout your life, but it is common to have these thoughts when you are going through puberty. During puberty, your body releases hormones which makes you more aware of how you look, and more aware of other people's bodies. These changes happen to everyone, and can sometimes make you feel out of control or anxious.

It can lead to feelings of:

Body dysmorphic disorder is when you constantly worry about flaws in your appearance, focus on specific areas of your body and compare yourself a lot to others.

Sometimes when you're struggling with your body image, you might change your eating habits as this can make you feel like you are in more control of how you look. This can be things like changing what you eat, how much and how often you are eating. If you are finding that your eating habits or relationship with food is taking over your life, you might be struggling with an eating problem.

We all worry about how we look at times during our lives and that's completely normal. If you are experiencing any of the above, know that there are people who can help you get through this. Things can get better.

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Instagram artwork by @teabag.cartoon. There are cartoon people of all different shapes, sizes and colours holding hands and standing next to each other. Text above them reads, 'we need to learn to respect every body.'

It is completely normal to feel insecure about your body, and the majority of us will experience this at some point in our lives.

What to do if you're worried about how you look

It's important to remember that there isn't a single type of beauty - everyone sees it differently. And there simply isn't a right or a wrong way to look. But if you're struggling, here are some things you can do:

Our Activists share their experiences

If you feel unable to cope, or particularly worried about one part of your body, talk to your GP about how you're feeling. They can listen, tell you about local services and support groups, or they may suggest specific treatment for the way you're feeling.

Growing up, I was bullied a lot. I always stood out from the crowd and I hated that element about myself because I thought that if no one could accept and love me for who I am, then I couldn't either.

I hated the way I looked. I hated everything about myself, and because of this, I know exactly what it's like to hate the body you were born in. And this was the darkest time of my life.

Body positivity

Body positivity is a movement to accept all bodies no matter what type, shape or size. It promotes seeing different bodies on things like social media to encourage us to accept our body and the way we look. If you are struggling with your body image, body positivity can help you feel better about yourself. By thinking positively about how you look, you can feel more comfortable and confident.

Changing the way we think about our body and how we look can take time. It can feel difficult on some days more than others. That's okay. Accepting your body is a process. Our Activists share how a positive body image can help you feel better about yourself:

How you can support a friend struggling with body image

A hand-drawn person in a blue top and blue trousers stands in front of a mirror smiling. To the right of the person there are four speech bubbles. They read: 'thank you eyes for helping me see, thank you lips for helping me talk, thank you hips for helping me move, thank you legs for helping me walk.'

If you have a friend or family member who is struggling with their body image, here are some ways that your support can help.

Talk to them and encourage them to focus on what they like about themselves and what they can do - not just how they look. Help them to see all their good points and the things you like about them - these can be simple things, like being a good sport, a caring friend or making people laugh.

If you're finding it difficult to know what to say, writing their good points as a list together can be another way to help them. They can keep the list for the days they are struggling as a reminder of all the good things they like about themselves.

Sit with your friend in front of a mirror. Together, thank your body for all the positive things it does. You and your friend might find this strange at first, but by doing this together, you can encourage your friend and show them how to see positives in their body. It can help them to learn to love themselves.

Support your friend to have a positive online space. If you know that your friend is struggling, you could send them a message to let them know they matter and remind your friend how brilliant they are.

If you think they're feeling overwhelmed, encourage them to see their GP for professional help.

Your body is enough, and you are enough, always.

Get help now

If you're struggling with how you feel about the way you look, you're not alone. Here are some services that can really help.

You might also find this helpful

More tips, advice and real stories on what to do if you're struggling with your body image.

Whether you love the page or think something is missing, we appreciate your feedback. It all helps us to support more young people with their mental health.

Please be aware that this form isn't a mental health support service. If you are in crisis right now and want to talk to someone urgently, find out who to contact on our urgent help page.

At YoungMinds we take your privacy seriously. If you'd like to read more about how we keep the information we collect safe, take a look at our privacy policy.

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Sometimes, we worry about how we look or what our friends think about our body. If you're struggling with body image, here's some advice that can help you.

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Responding to self-harm - Roundup | YoungMinds Parents Lounge

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Are you having difficulties with gaming? Do you spend too much time and money on games, despite attempts to stop? Are you spending less time with friends or family?

Are you a parent or family member with concerns about someone's gaming? Is it having a negative impact on their studies, family time, going out, other hobbies?

Like most activities, gaming can be a great way to relax, destress and socialise. However, for a minority of people excessive gaming can have a negative impact both on them and those around them.
Due to overwhelming demand, we are unable to accept any parent or family referrals at present and only accept referrals directly for those who are gaming in a harmful way. We also do not offer crisis interventions. We work jointly with mental health teams, aiming to provide a comprehensive package of care in collaboration with other professionals. In the event of a crisis, please contact your GP, CMHT, A&E or the Police if you feel at risk.

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The National Centre for Gaming Disorders

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The National Centre for Gaming Disorders is a multi-disciplinary clinic in the UK that provides treatment for people in England and Wales, aged 13 years and over, who have difficulty controlling their video game use and the impact it has on their lives.

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Each of these collections have been mapped to the Education for a Connected World framework set out by the UK Council for Internet Safety. Pages contain downloadable teacher resource documents with lesson ideas, discussion points and potential homework activities.

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We're Hiring: MYTIME Level Up Programme Co-ordinator

MYTIME Young Carers is seeking a new Level Up Programme Co-ordinator for its rapidly-expanding team. If you think you've got what it takes to give every young carer the opportunities they deserve, then come and have a chat with us!

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MYTIME is a charity which provides young carers with the support, friendship and opportunities that every child deserves.

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"We were limited to where we could go because of his behaviour. He would accuse me of lying to him. He would wear me down and he would tell lies about me. If I asked him to brush his teeth, one day it would be ok, the next he would swear at me and refuse. He would spit at me, he punched holes in doors"

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Capa First Response | You are not alone - Capa First Response

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We support families and professionals impacted by child or adolescent on parent abuse.