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This is me, the one and only William Shakespeare. I wast b'rn in Stratford. I did study grammar until i wast fourteen. Then at which hour I wast eighteen I did get did marry to a quite quaint mistress, Anne Hathaway. We hadst three children but one of those folk kicked the bucket at which hour those gents w're only eleven. I hath moved to London, it is currently the year fifteen-ninety-two and I wouldst liketh thee to followeth me on mine own journey.

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I has't done an most wondrous thing! i madeth mine own owneth theatre company! then I hath built mine own owneth precious theatre. I hath decided to calleth The Globe. Th're is thirty-seven plays and one-hundred-fifty-four sonnets. Th're is some nasty gossip yond I haven't writ mine own poems by myself. Those gents bethink yond since i am a sir who is't hast nev'r left England, I knoweth not about f'reign countries. Th're is a lot of suspicion, sadly.

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Many of thee has't hadst many questions about mine own plays, so alloweth me inf'rm thee m're. I writeth tragedies, which art plays yond bid of a rev'rsal of f'rtune. The h'roes showeth flaws which eventually leadeth to their downfalls. Tragedies oft showeth the h'roes int'rnal conflict and the commoners art oft comic relief.

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I am popular and thee all loveth learning about mine own w'rk. I shall beest answ'ring some m're questions since thou art v'ry curious. @johnsmith asks what an iambic pentamet'r is. Well, john smith, an iambic pentamet'r is a line of a v'rse with five metrical feet eke hast one longeth syllable and one did stretch out. Next, @galileo_galilei_loves_stars asks what i has't did create besides poems and plays. Well, i has't did create many new phrases, puns, w'rds, new meanings to w'rds, and doubleth phrases. And lasteth, i has't gotten many requests to bid what a sonnet is. A sonnet is a poem of fourteen lines with about ten syllables p'r line. Thanketh thee all and seeth thee lat'r.

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I am hiring!!!

-th're art nay women allowed, only men

-you has't to beest able to fights, loudness, and messiness oft

-you shall only taketh thy lines and not the full script (if thee can't readeth, i has't someone who is't shall readeth out loud f'r thee)

-all act'rs art men so beest did prepare to playeth women-like roles

-act'rs has't to receiveth the audiences attention and keepeth t 'r thou art FIR'D

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Mine own baby is hath built out of wood and the act'rs setteth off a cannon as parteth of the playeth. T setteth the theatre on fireth. and t did burn down. We art hoping to rebuild anon but has't a tile roof this timeth instead of wood. Prithee beest patient and kind as we rebuild.

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That gent kicked the bucket on April 23, 1616

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That gent kicked the bucket on April 23, 1616

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I misprise to breaketh the news to thee loving fans but william shakespeare hast kicked the bucket. That gent kicked the bucket at 52 due to unknown causes. I am so s'rry f'r thy loss, has't a bett'r day, goodbye.