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I am getting very frustrated with Kyle at the moment if I'm honest; he keeps demanding so much attention from the group, and it's actually upsetting because there's less attention for me. Today he kept talking over Isabella, which I though was really rude; this was mainly because Isabella is really shy and quiet, Kyle knows this so he keeps chatting about his stupid dramatic life when she's showing me her drawings. I know that i'm nice to Kyle's face, but inside I really feel like I want to tell him to shut up. He thinks that he's the most important person in the group just because everyone loves his drag act; I'm so over it even though I support him, but if he carries on annoying me I will probably tell him that his wigs are clapped. Kyle is literally thriving on taking all of the attention away from me; infuriated doesn't describe how I feel, really I can't even say how I feel about it because then it would look like I am threatened by him. That is not possible.

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02/04/2022 - I went shopping with Jay and John!

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02/04/2022 - I went shopping with Jay and John!

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Today I went to buy new clothes with Jay and John; I didn't mind the fact that Jay was there because he's funny, even if it often is at my expense. My main issue was John; he's a funny enough guy, but he's just such a drag because he doesn't stop talking about how he doesn't know who he is. Yanno what? I'm not even sure if John is even his real name. We couldn't even spent a long time in Primark because this silly boy kept panicking about what style of clothes he should buy; what he needs to realize is that people are very very complex things, so trying to box himself will only make him even more sad. I don't know if he could get more sad to be honest; I felt depressed just by being near him, the vibes were really off until he left.

I love Jay so much though; he makes me laugh all the time because we have millions of inside jokes, nobody else understands them so it's funny. Today he bought even more black clothes, even though he already has so many; Jay pulls off his style really well, even his Jacket that has skulls on it. After John had left, Jay and I went to the park and had some drinks on the swings; he pushed me really high so I fell off and scraped my knee, we both laughed about it though. Eventually we did go home, that wasn't until midnight though; we did debate staying out all night and then just going to college in the morning, but Jay gets really grumpy when he's tired.

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Today Ruben started doing this weird little river dance movement in college; he always makes me laugh when he does his dances, I've actually never seen anything like it. He's very sweet, even if he is a bit weird at times; I find it quite endearing, but Ruben does need to learn to focus. I think Ruben sees me as an older sister; he's always asking me about what I was doing at his age, and what I think he should do about certain situations that he gets himself into. Having Ruben around does make me happy; I get into deep thoughts sometimes, and Ruben kind of pops the bubble with the funny things he comes out with. It's good to have a friend like that; yanno like someone who doesn't take themselves too seriously, it gets me out of my head I guess. I'm not sure how I would explain Ruben to anyone because there's a lot to say, but also there's not a lot to say... he's just Ruben!

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04/04/2022 - We are all concerned about Aria.

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04/04/2022 - We are all concerned about Aria.

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So, as we know, Aria is obsessed with Tom Holland; it has gotten to a point now where I am actually worried for her (and his) well-being, she has a serious problem. I don't know if it's normal to talk about one man as often as she does, but I've honestly had enough of it; what can I do?, maybe hack into her stan twitter account and delete it? Probably not. Even though this part of Aria's weird personality is really annoying me, I actually do like her a lot; the other day we were playing our ukelele's and singing together, so I suppose it is nice to have a friend who has talent. I just hope she grows out of this Tom Holland phase before she puts me off of all spider-man movies. Aria being this obsessive is just quite typical of her to be honest; I've known her for three years, so I know full well that she's a bit quirky for ages. I really hope that she is as successful with her musical career as she wants to be; her dad gives her a hard time which is sad, but I think she's really good.

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05/04/2022 - I want to understand Isabella's magical drawings... but I can't?

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05/04/2022 - I want to understand Isabella's magical drawings... but I can't?

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Isabella keeps giving me loads of little fairy pictures that she's drawn; I really like them, the mystical ones are pretty. However, there's these other things she draws; she calls them "shadow people", and she says that she sees them out of the corner of her eye. Should I be worried? I mean, I don't really want to be worried because I want to continue receiving the drawings of the fairies, and If I question her she might stop drawing them. I know Isabella's dad is always making her feel uncomfortable about her drawings; he wants her to sell them, but I'm pretty sure she's happy just doodling on her own for no reason. Me and Isabella are kind of close, but in a weird way; we don't talk about normal things like I do with my other friends, we talk about witchcraft and folklore which is fun. Isabella is quite an anxious person; I guess she doesn't hide it as well as I do, it definitely shows in her drawings. She doesn't speak about her feelings too much to me, but I do hope she is okay.

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I've never seen this boy not on his mobile phone, I'm not really close friends with him but I'm with him enough to know that he doesn't put that phone down; I don't know what he looks at and I don't want to know, but he clearly has loads of friends outside our group of friends. Why else would he always be on his phone? He's probably not talking to girls.  He's spoken a few times about how his mum is always trying to play match maker; I've seen her do it as well, like when she picks Sean up after we've all been hanging out as a group. I think I should really get to know Sean better because he has been in our group of friends for a while now; we do talk every so often, but I'm not really sure what we have in common. I do spend a lot of time on my phone as well I guess... but not enough that people would comment.

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Today I saw Mike's dad shouting at him outside of college because his grades aren't good enough apparently; he was getting so angry, Mike definitely didn't inherit that trait. Screaming at Mike isn't going to help him; like, I'm not super close with Mike, but we are friends and I know how he responds to certain things. In fact, the reason I like Mike so much is because he is such a relaxed person; it matches my energy and chills me out too, which balances out the way some of my other friends make me feel. I'm hoping that Mike will take me to Greece one day; I've always wanted to go, and he says that everybody there is chilled out too so I know I would fit in. Anyway, I hope his dad stops bugging him because I want him to be okay.

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I was on the bus to college this morning and I started talking to Laura; I don't talk to her that much, but I've seen the clothes she wears and thought they were cool before. We are quite close in age, so really we should know each other a bit more than we currently do. Today we started talking about how she likes ABBA, I also like ABBA so that was good!; she even has a poster on her wall, I know that because she showed me a picture of it. Laura feels the same was about Kyle as I do; this is good because if we team up we will be able to create an alliance to take the power back, I'll be looking forward to that. I want to get to know Laura a bit more I think; she seem's really cool, but the problem is that she can be quite quiet.