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Share your piece! Reflect on a ‘Glow’ (something you did well) and a ‘Grow’ (something you want to improve) using the custom fields provided. Leave supportive and helpful comments on classmates’ posts!

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I'm proud of how I used details of music and rhythm in my poem, like the drums throbbing in the chest, to dedicate emotions rather than simply express them.

# data[].attributes.custom_properties.yJ5ellmY
I want to improve my editing skills, especially by checking the English spelling of words like "passionate" and "dedicated" so that my final work is more polished.

# data[].attributes.custom_properties.Cht3a4vo
My first one is my glow, I really like how the imagery and symbols I used perfectly align with my poem, especially with how it goes from top to bottom and matches what I'm saying as you read on.

# data[].attributes.custom_properties.yJ5ellmY
My second one is my grow, I want to use more imagery and symbols that go along with my poem more.

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You without Me- Sienna Sucese- Visual Poetry

# data[].attributes.custom_properties.Cht3a4vo
The visuals looked a lot like how I wanted them to, and I think it helped portray the message.

# data[].attributes.custom_properties.yJ5ellmY
The writing is a little bit hard to read and the swirls didn't get lined up exactly how I wanted them.

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My body is not my own

Every inch of my body is imprinted

The touch i accepted to feel loved

And the touches of “love” inflicted upon me

Invisible handprints that can not be scrubbed clean

The handprints eternally consuming my corpse

A part of me massacred will never be restored

The innocence torn from me

I lay in bed, your contaminated touch consumes me

I feel you embed yourself into my skin

I feel my innocence and dignity leave my body

My flesh is bleeding;my hot shower stings

I scrub for hours, just to feel clean

My wounds will heal;he will be cut out of me

Eventually scars will form

A physical reminder of what he did to me

My body is no longer simply imprinted by invisible hands

My body is imprinted by self-inflicted wounds and scars

Physical evidence of his destruction

Physical evidence of my grief and loss

My body is no longer my own, it never will be again

And I will never be cleansed from his contaminated hands

# data[].attributes.custom_properties.yJ5ellmY
I would like to change some words and make it flow better

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Concrete poetry lyrics:

What is fear without excitement?

just worry without end,

As he came to my door,

I dreaded seeing him again and again.

He brought me flowers,

Still, their sweet smell,

like a fresh spring day,

lingers on the tip of my nose,

Hopefully one day,

When the clock stops ticking

I won't regret not wanting to see him

again and again.

# data[].attributes.custom_properties.Cht3a4vo
I am very proud of how I was able to add images and different fonts to make my writing come to life.

# data[].attributes.custom_properties.yJ5ellmY
I want maybe add different words or more pictures to enhance the language and images provided in my work.

# data[].attributes.custom_properties.Cht3a4vo
The line breaks and spacing help control the pacing, especially in the final stanza. The contrast between “from far away” and “up close” adds depth and emphasizes the hidden intensity of the speaker.

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I might experiment with slightly expanding one stanza or intensifying the ending to make the final line land even harder.

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Flowers :)

# data[].attributes.custom_properties.Cht3a4vo
I think I did a good job with the drawing because it also represents the poem really well. I added water as part of the symbolism even if it has nothing to do with the poem, but I'm still not sure if I love it or not.

# data[].attributes.custom_properties.yJ5ellmY
I think I could make the symbolism in the drawing more clear, or I could change some of the metaphors in the poem too. I would also like to improve my handwriting to make the whole poem prettier. 

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Who am I?

I move gracefully

feeling my churi clink against my wrist in a beautiful

almost joyous melodic harmony

thats me

i feel the sterling on my fingers

the love they were given to me by

thats me

i feel the swish of my shalwar

the cloth making me feel

like a princess straight out of

a punjabi movie

a person worth looking at

someone soft but powerful

thats me

someone with eyes that are sharp

but also soft and kind

someone with endless hijabs,

but uses the same black one

thats me

someone who isn’t afraid

but is also terrified

thats me

Someone who is so kind you could melt

but someone who can be the meanest person you’ve met

someone who’ll smile for the world

but lock away after

thats me

someone who will go all out for you

but will be left with nothing

thats me

someone who has endless clothes and makeup

but sometimes just needs pajamas and a messy bun

thats me

someone who’ll pretend to grow up

but just wants to be a little girl sometimes

After all even the sun grows small sometimes

thats me

someone who isn't afraid to say no,

but feels obliged to say yes.

that is me

truly

fully

completely

broken and beautiful

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Who am I I move gracefully feeling my churi clink against my wrist in a beautiful almost joyous melodic harmony thats me i feel the sterling on my fingers the love they were given to me by thats m (1)