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What Is Authoritative Parenting?

Authoritative parenting is a parenting style characterized by high responsiveness and high demands. Authoritative parents are responsive to the child's emotional needs while having high standards. They set limits and are very consistent in enforcing boundaries.

After decades of research, child development experts recognize that authoritative parenting is the best parenting style among the four Baumrind parenting styles.

This parenting style generally produces the best outcomes in children.

Studies have found that preschoolers raised by authoritative parents:

Tend to be happy and content.

Are independent and self-reliant.

Develop good social skills.

Have good emotional regulation and self-control.

Express warmth and cooperate with peers.

Explore a new environment without fear.

Are competent and assertive.

Authoritative parents are likely to have children who:

Achieve higher academic success.

Engage more in school activities.

Develop good self-esteem.

Have better mental health - less depression, anxiety, suicide attempts, delinquency, alcohol, and drug use.

Interact with peers using competent social skills.

Exhibit less violent tendencies.

Are well-adjusted.

Authoritative Parenting Examples

Authoritative parents:

Are warm, attuned and nurturing.

Listen to the children.

Allow autonomy and encourage independence.

Reason with children instead of demanding blind obedience.

Set clear limits on behavior.

Consistently enforce boundaries.

Use positive discipline instead of punitive, forceful measures.

Earn, not demand, children's respect.

Related: Characteristics And Effects Of The 4 Parenting Styles
Three Other Parenting Styles

Authoritarian parenting - high demandingness and low responsiveness.

Like authoritarian parenting, authoritative parents have high standards.

Unlike authoritarian parenting, authoritative parents do not require complete compliance or blind obedience from their children.

Although both authoritative and authoritarian parents place high demands on their children, they are different in what they try to control.

Both types of parents expect their children to behave appropriately and obey parental rules.

But authoritarian parents also expect their child to blindly obey without question.

By contrast, authoritative parents use reasoning and allow give-and-take discussions.

So both types of parents utilize high behavioral control, but only authoritarian parents also exert high psychological control.

Permissive parenting - low demandingness and high responsiveness.

Like permissive parenting, authoritative parents are warm and nurturing.

Unlike permissive parenting, authoritative parents do not allow children to get away with bad behavior.

Neglectful parenting - low demandingness and low responsiveness.

Authoritative parenting is very different from neglectful parenting. Authoritative parents pay a lot of attention to their children's well being.

Is Authoritative Parenting For Every Child?

The authoritative parenting style has been found to benefit children of different temperaments.

In fact, among different temperaments, children who are regarded as difficult benefit more from authoritative child rearing than the easy kids.

But aren't all kids different and therefore require different parenting styles?

Kids are different.

Different children need to be parented differently according to the "Goodness of Fit".

When there is a goodness-of-fit between the child's temperament and the parents' personalities, attitudes and parenting practices, the child will flourish.

But when it is poorness-of-fit, the child suffers.

Notice that there is a difference between parenting style and parenting practice.

Parenting style is the emotional climate in which the parents raise their children.

A parenting practice is a specific action that parents employ in their parenting.

The authoritative parenting style is the best parenting style.

Parents should adopt that same authoritative parenting style, but different parenting practices according to their child's individual temperament.

Within the Baumrind's parenting style topology, authoritative parenting is not a fixed set of parenting practices.

Authoritative parenting consists of a spectrum of different parenting practices, all based on the same "high responsiveness, high demandingness" principle.

For instance, within the "high responsiveness, high demandingness" spectrum, a parent can choose practices that are nurturing but slightly less demanding (point A in the diagram).

When parenting another child of a different temperament, a parent can use practices that are demanding, but slightly less nurturing (point B in the diagram).

Both A and B are still within the authoritative parenting spectrum.

Examples Of Authoritative Parenting Style With Different Parenting Practices

Style: High responsiveness means warm, accepting and supportive.

Practices: Hugging, cheering and smiling are different parenting practices.

Style: High demandingness means high standards and limits.

Practices: Requiring a child to do chores, get good grades and show manners are different parenting practices.

Why Is Authoritative Parenting Style The Best Parenting Style?

To understand why the authoritative approach is the most effective parenting style, we should look at each component of this parenting style.

Nurturing: Authoritative parents are attuned, nurturing, sensitive and supportive of their children's emotional and developmental needs. Research shows that children with responsive parents tend to develop a secure attachment. Children with secure attachment are protected from developing internalizing problems. Infants who have responsive mothers also develop better problem-solving skills, cognitive competence and emotional control.

Responsive: Emotional regulation lays the foundation for a child's success. Responsiveness and autonomy support from the parents seem to provide children with the opportunity to develop good self-regulation skills. These children

Supportive: Authoritative parents are supportive. They tend to be more involved in a child's schooling by volunteering or monitoring homework. Parental involvement has been shown to have a beneficial impact on adolescent academic achievement.

Open-minded: Authoritative parents are also open-minded and collaborative. They use open communication, explanations, and reasoning to foster individuality. These parents are modeling prosocial behavior that the children can internalize. These children grow up having good social skills.

High Standards: The high standards demanded by authoritative parents keep children's behavior in check.

Discipline: In Baumrind's study, she found that authoritative parents were remarkably consistent in enforcing limits. Consistency is one of the most important elements in the successful discipline at home. Kids whose parents are consistent in disciplining have less internalizing and externalizing problems.

Non-punitive: Although authoritative parents have high standards, they do not use punitive punishment to discipline. Non-punitive discipline is found to promote children's honesty and prevent aggressive behavior. Authoritative parents use inductive discipline to teach proper behavior. They are firm but kind when disciplining. They may be strict, but they are not mean.

Authoritative parenting achieves a balance between too much psychological control (authoritarian) and too little behavioral control (permissive).

It's not an either-or parenting style.

It's in between two extreme styles to achieve the best outcomes.

References

1. Baumrind D. Prototypical descriptions of 3 parenting styles. Psychology. 1966;37.

2. Baumrind D. Child care practices anteceding three patterns of preschool behavior. Genetic Psychology Monographs. 1967;75(1):43-88.

3. McCoby EE. Socialization in the context of the family: Parent-child interaction. Handbook of child psychology. 1983;4:1-101.

4. Parish TS, McCluskey JJ. The relationship between parenting styles and young adults' self-concepts and evaluations of parents. Adolescence. 1992;17(108).

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What Is Authoritative Parenting? [With Examples] - Parenting For Brain

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Authoritative parenting is a parenting style characterized by high responsiveness and high demands. Authoritative parents are responsive to the child's emotional needs while having high standards. They set limits and are very consistent in enforcing boundaries. After decades of research, child development experts recognize that authoritative parenting is the best parenting style among the four Baumrind parenting styles.

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If you read headlines, it would seem that most parenting styles are ones to avoid. You don't want to be a helicopter parent. Or a lawnmower parent. But really, most of us are just trying to be good parents, right? So what's the style for that?

Everyone has their opinion. Yet, studies seem to agree that an authoritative style tends to work best for children. Let's look at what authoritative parenting involves, and how it differs from other parenting styles.

Authoritative parenting is one of four parenting styles based on the research and work of developmental psychologist Diana Baumrind:

These styles are defined by how parents:

express love

deal with their child's needs and desires

exercise their authority over their children

In the case of authoritative parenting, there's a healthy balance between the two.

Authoritative parents give their children a lot of support and love. They are flexible and welcome open communication, but discip line isn't put on the back burner.

They set clear guidelines and expect their kids to behave and listen to house rules. At the same time, they're not overly strict or unreasonable.

Compared to other parenting styles, authoritative parenting appears to have the most positive effect on children.

Permissive parenting shares some similarities with authoritative parenting. These parents also nurture and have a strong attachment to their children. The difference is that permissive parents don't set clear rules. They aren't consistent with discipline. There's a lot of leniency, and their children often test limits.

Authoritarian parents take a "no-nonsense" approach. These parents also set and enforce rules like authoritative parents. But they're more strict, demanding, and critical. Also, they can have unreasonable expectations for their kids.

Uninvolved parenting is the complete opposite of authoritative parenting. With this style, parents are completely disengaged from their kids. There are no expectations, responsiveness, or rules. And they lack any type of emotional attachment.

To be clear, authoritative parenting isn't the same across the board. Every kid is different. So even in the same household, it can look different based on the child.

Let's say you have a toddler that doesn't want to eat their dinner. A permissive parent might respond by making a different meal for the child. An authoritarian parent might respond by demanding that they sit at the table until their plate is clean. An authoritative parent might use this opportunity to discuss their refusal but explain that now is the time to eat.

Authoritative parents are flexible, so they might not require a clean plate. But they might expect the child to eat what is being served now if they are hungry, with the understanding that different food won't be available until the next meal or snack time. They'll enforce this, even if the child whines or throws tantrums.

Here's another example. An older child may want to play outside before finishing their chores. A permissive parent may allow the child to skip chores in favor of an early playtime. Meanwhile, an authoritarian parent, may yell, become upset, or threaten punishment if the child doesn't finish their chores.

An authoritative parent takes a different approach. They don't give in or react negatively. They stay calm, understanding why the child wants to play instead of doing chores. Their expectations for the child don't waver, though.

The child still needs to finish their chores before playtime. But because these parents want their kids to learn responsibility, they might offer tips to help them finish faster. This way, they can get to playtime sooner.

Authoritative parenting changes from family to family, and even from child to child. Remember, this parenting style is about striking a healthy balance. These parents are nurturers, sensitive, and supportive, yet firm.

The main benefit is that children may be more likely to develop a strong emotional bond to their parents. They also tend to be happier. Other benefits include:

Secure attachment

Authoritative parents are nurturers and listeners. They create a space where a child feels safe and secure. This type of relationship is known as secure attachment.

According to a small 2012 study evaluating how parenting styles affect intimate relationships, secure attachment results in healthier relationships. These children also have higher self-esteem, more self-confidence, and are friendlier.

Better coping skills

Everyone deals with anger, frustration, and sadness at some point. Yet, we also learn how to deal with these emotions to control our behavior and feelings.

Emotional regulation is something that's learned. According to additional research, children of authoritative parents have stronger emotional regulatory skills.

This is likely due to these parents encouraging, but also guiding, their children to problem-solve when stressful situations arise. They teach at an early age how to cope rather than removing obstacles for them. And because of their ability to self-regulate and cope, these children tend to be better problem solvers.

Higher academic performance

Authoritative parents are invested in and supportive of their child's schooling. These parents keep a close eye on their child's grades and homework.

When it's possible they're present at school events and meetings. Their expectations for home and in school are consistent but reasonable and age-appropriate.

One 2015 study of 290 people found that college grade point averages were moderately higher in those with "high authoritative" parents than with "low authoritative" parents.

Good behavior

Authoritative parents aren't strict disciplinarians like authoritarian parents. But they do set boundaries for their children and they will provide appropriate consequences for not following rules.

As a result, their children tend to be more cooperative and may exhibit better behavior than children raised by permissive or authoritarian parents.

Open-minded

These parents are adaptable and willing to provide explanations. They help their children understand the reasoning behind certain rules.

This type of openness and discussion helps their child develop good communication and social skills. They may also become more flexible and open-minded with others.

Many studies on authoritative parenting conclude that it's likely the most effective method with the best outcome. However, it falls in the middle of authoritarian and permissive parenting. So it's possible to slide over to one of these styles.

A parent may continue to support and nurture their child but become more lenient with rules, expectations, and requirements over time. Rather than staying consistent, they may give in when their child whines or throws tantrums.

Or, a parent may become more rigid and inflexible with rules and decisions. They could show less concern for their child's feelings on certain matters. Instead of discussing they dictate.

A switch to either side can impact a child. Permissive parenting can lead to more rebelliousness and poor impulse control. Authoritarian parenting can lead to a higher risk of low self-esteem, mental health issues, and poor social skills.

To avoid a shift, here are different ways to use authoritative parenting:

Set clear limits, reasonable expectations, and boundaries.

Be consistent when enforcing reasonable consequences.

Listen to your child's perspective on matters.

Offer explanations to help your child understand rules or limitations.

Encourage independence.

Be flexible and adaptable.

Respect your child as a person.

Don't always come to the rescue, but rather allow them to fix problems.

Raising children who are responsible, happy, and cooperative involves support and nurturing. There must also be consequences for negative behavior. Authoritative parenting might not be a perfect parenting style, but it's a parenting style that many experts believe in.

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What is Authoritative Parenting? Definition and Benefits

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If you read headlines, it would seem that most parenting styles are ones to avoid. You don't want to be a helicopter parent. Or a lawnmower parent. But really, most of us are just trying to be good parents, right? So what's the style for that? Everyone has their opinion.