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https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1-AlFQ6V61yPfB1lVJ8pNvCzOTVhoqsSy

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Get access to files anywhere through secure cloud storage and file backup for your photos, videos, files and more with Google Drive.

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My Testimony!
Ever since I can remember, I went to church every Sunday, so I’ve always believed that God was real. I made the personal decision to follow Jesus and became a Christian around middle school, but saw God as someone distant- someone I could just give my attention to on Sundays and retreats. Because of this, I focused most of my time on other things like friends, family, sports, and my social life. I thought pursuing those things would make me happy, but it just led me to be emotionally exhausted, disappointed, and really lonely.

During the 2019 Winter Retreat, we learned about the Samaritan woman. She filled her life with superficial things just like how I did. But she learned that God can provide true living water that will fill her lonely and broken life. It says in John 4:13-14: Jesus said to her, “Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” This really spoke to me, even though I’ve heard about this passage many times before. The sermon concluded that Jesus indeed delivers from false worship. And I acknowledged that God is the only one who could fulfill my needs. And during that retreat, I learned that I had to be honest about my sins and I repented of the ways that I ignored God and decided to recommit my life to Him and whole-heartedly try to give up these things that were controlling my life.

So after the retreat, I took Course 101, and my understanding of letting God control my life deepened. I saw that a lot of the times I want to do things my way and not let anyone control me, but the Bible doesn’t give the option of receiving Jesus as savior only and not Lord. I learned that it only makes sense that I obey Jesus as my Lord too in every part of my life - not when it’s just convenient or when I need something. If I declare that Jesus has saved me - then I can no longer live for myself anymore. After all, God is my creator, and therefore, my life belongs to Him. And to make Him lord means that every part of my life is surrendered. When I learned this, I became convicted and made God my lord.

I also learned that God was not someone who was distant but longed to have a personal relationship with me. And then I learned what sin really is and means. It is a rejection of God. I learned how heavily my sins are weighed and how God is affected by it. Even though God forgives my sins, that doesn’t mean they don’t affect Him in any way. Sin is primarily against God and is the rejection of Him. To forgive those sins is like trying to swallow poison and the act of genuine forgiveness is costly. It painfully hurts Him and I can’t even make up for it. And if the consequence of sin is eternal death and the only way to forgive my sins is through the exchange of Jesus’ life for mine, then my sins must be serious. The cross represents the weight of our sins but also how willing God was to forgive them. I was shocked to see the extent to how I could hurt God and other people around me. And then I was even more shocked by the depth of God’s love, that even though it’s so painful to bear my sins and I keep rejecting Him - He still went so far and is willing to forgive me and lay down his life for mine. To me, the cross represents that I am known and beloved in this eternal relationship and that I am no longer bound by my sins, but now saved.

I am so grateful that God has led my life to this point, even when I ignored Him.

As I get to know more about God and his heart for me, my convictions continue to grow. Even though I am broken, I am fully known and loved by God and I have trust in Him that he considers me as his precious daughter. I am forgiven and saved from eternal death and I no longer strive to live for myself only.

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1. Today's my mom's bday and I reflected on the ways my mom has helped shape my character and values so very thankful for her!
2. I'm thankful that Megan was willing to drive me to my mom in bergen county
3. I'm thankful for the alarm clock Megan gave me for Christmas, it wakes me up :)
4. Thankful for being able to come back to 206 and spend each day with someone :)
5. Thankful that I did not test positive for COVID last week and this week
6. Thankful for the family we were able to have at 206 - doing arts and crafts
7. I got my booster!
8. Good food! Learned how to make seaweed soup from my mom
9. Thankful for technology - was able to facetime others during the break
10. Thankful that our dryer was able to be fixed today! Thank you repair man!

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1. Our church being able to gather together again w/ testing, incl. eating together.

2. Almost everyone is now recovered from COVID!

3. Time spent with P. Manny & Sunny in meetings and hanging out together this past week when they visited. Thankful for spiritual mentors who help us in ministry and in our personal/spiritual lives.

4. A warm place to live 🏡  during a cold winter 🥶

5. Access to free COVID testing.

6. Lunch with the bros on Saturday. We got to enjoy some burgers & fries and hang out!

7. Wisdom from God's Word 📖, leading me through each day and multiplied when I get to hear sharing from others.

8. Sunny mornings + coffee + DT w/ the bros

9. COVID cases falling... Omicron peak over?

10. Telecommuting @ Orris & opportunities to hang out together throughout the day.

11. Thankful for everyone participating in this winter ❄️ challenge! 🙌

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This autobiography begins with the childhood of Corrie ten Boom and her life with her large family at their home called the Beje in early 20th century Holland. Growing up, Bible readings and prayer times were essential in her and her family's day-to-day life. The family was very warm and loving to their community, and their love evolved into turning their home into a temporary place of refuge for Jewish people who were in danger of being taken away when Germany began to advance and occupy its neighboring countries. Corrie and her family made many sacrifices as they took in and cared for many. Eventually they were arrested and taken to concentration camps. For the rest of the book, Corrie describes her times at various ones in the country and in Germany and her stories of being faithful to God and grateful in her circumstances are inspiring and amazing. As you read through the book you will definitely witness how God was using her and providing for her even when things seemed so bleak.
It was also amazing to read about how her sister Betsie reacted to her situation. She remained so faithful to Jesus and saw every opportunity, even in her cell, even in a flea-infested, diseased bunk at the concentration camps, as opportunities to share about the gospel. She was also very grateful for everything and was able to see things differently even when the situation was clearly unpleasant. Betsie's character really struck me and made me realize how I only feel grateful when things are going the right way for me and when circumstances are beneficial for me. Corrie's heart also struck me because she was able to see how she and her enemy (a Nazi soldier who was involved in her and her family's arrest) were the same sinners. She asked God to give her the strength to forgive him, which for me would be so hard to do. Another thing that struck me was how Corrie lifted everything up to God in prayer. Whether she was happy or in distress or feeling weak, Corrie lifted up a prayer to God and this is a pattern I noticed throughout the book. It inspired me to develop a similar habit and to really connect with God through prayer.
Overall, I would recommend this book to anyone, Christian or not. It was definitely a book that I couldn't put down because I really wanted to know what would happen next. I personally don't like reading biographies but this made me want to read more. I hope everyone can read this book!

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1. Spend more time reading God’s word. (1 chapter a day)
2. Can’t eat past 11pm.

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30 min morning prayer, 9-9:30am on weekdays

Sleeping by 11:30pm to be fresh for DT

Limit reading news to 5 min/day --> replace with reading Bible/books

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1. I’m grateful for my parents. They poured out themselves for God and our family. So thankful to have their examples of love.

2. I’m grateful for life!

3. I’m grateful for great health.

4. I’m grateful for my peers. They celebrate the big and little things in my life. I’m grateful for our friendship that goes beyond just being friends but sisters in Christ.

5. I’m grateful for the church community. I’m in awe of God’s faithfulness and love I have experienced through my leaders and the church.

6. I’m grateful for the my relationships, this week I am reminded that they’re so precious.

7. I am grateful for the winter challenge. It helped me to keep both spiritually and physically fit.

8. I’m grateful for my tile (used to track lost items). This week I often misplaced/lost my belongings.

9. I’m grateful for warm clothes and the extra blankets we have at 206. Tried washing my comforter but the dryer broke, ahh thank God for warm blankets.

10. I’m grateful for Kim. She made me some nice over night oats!

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I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.

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1. I'm thankful to be back in NJ and everyone is relatively healthy!
2. Thankful that I went with the older sisters on a prayer retreat and read a lot of bible and prayed!
3. Thankful that one of my friend's non-xian dad recently became Christian through my friends' persistence in sharing the gospel and showing care and love.
4. That I got to go to my peer Katilyn's farewell. She recently moved to Purdue with her family to serve the church there. God has been so faithful to her.
5. That I got to see my nephew for the 1st time bc he was a covid baby. So cute, he's 2 already!
6. That my brother liked the book I got him "When breathe becomes air." It's a really good book to give to non-xians bc it's about a doctor who got brain cancer who went on a spiritual quest and found God.
7. That my kids are in zoom school because we get to spend more time together in the day time.
8. Thankful for this challenge as so many people were productive over the break. PTL!
9. Thankful for heaters and my home...it's so cold outside!
10. Thankful for all the staff who went on a retreat this weekend and get to reconnect with others in the EC and hear God's word.

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1. Great summary of salvation, "if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
2. Reminder that as a Christian I cannot love the world.
3. This is spiritual physics - if we don't love we choose death.
4. v. 4"...for he who is in your is greater than he who is in the world." What an amazing and comforting promise!
5. v. 3 The way we love God is through keeping his commandments.

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1. Amazing description of what we received in the gospel "an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading."
2. I like the description of our new identity as a people of God, "chosen race, and royal priesthood, a holy nation."
3. Reminder that beauty must be internal.
4. Call to suffer
5. I love this passage of Jesus as my Chief Shepherd, and that I get to follow him as an "under" shepherd.

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1. To be blessed has a lot to do with what I "do not do" than what I do.
2. v. 12 is the verse that nicodemus used with Jesus in Chosen!
3. David wrote this when he was on the run from his own son, amazing how he's able to connect with God even in the most difficult of times.
4. "Be angry, and do not sin" - the Bible is so real. God knows we will get angry but we need to control the way we respond.
5. David cried out to God even when "groaning" and longed to hear from God.
6. I think David was depressed in this period of his life "every night flooding his bed with tears" but was hopeful for a day when all would be well.
8. Famous psalm about looking at the heavens and seeing God's work.
16. Love this psalm about praising God for the boundary lines, iow the place God put you and being content.
19. The law of the Lord is perfect. The psalmist praises God for his word in memorable ways, "sweeter also than honey."
22. Psalm that Jesus quoted on the cross, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me."
23. Beloved hymn of God as our shepherd.
27. The epitome of worship, "One thing have i asked of the Lord...that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life."
30. "Weeping may tarry for the night but joy comes in the morning." There's always hope for the morning with God!
32. Famous psalm about the importance of confession.
37. This psalm repeats the exhortation to "fret not" multiple times. God knows we are fretful and anxious creatures, but urges us to trust him.
40. Amazing description of salvation "He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon a rock...He put a new song in my mouth."

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Finish a book in Arabic, start speaking it. Work out 4-5 times a week (weight lifting). Volunteer

-Joshua G

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Shadow of the Almighty: The Life and Testament of Jim Elliot by Elisabeth Elliot

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Shadow of the Almighty: The Life and Testament of Jim Elliot by Elisabeth Elliot

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Shadow of the Almighty is a biography of Jim Elliot written by his wife, Elisabeth Elliot. It contains many excerpts from his journals to get a sense of Jim's heart throughout his spiritual journey. I was really amazed by Jim Elliot for the following reasons:

He had a passionate desire to serve God on the mission field starting at such a young age (in college!), even preparing physically to one day to mission work. His heart was always set on reaching the unreached and always had a heart for international ministry.

Even though he seemed to already be walking righteously with God, he still had a humble heart that was receptive to feedback when he was directly addressed by scripture.

His patient waiting for God's sign for the direction of his calling and even marriage.

In everything, he turned to God's word and prayer, trusting God's will more than man. In this way, he really reminds me of David.

Even during the waiting period of his life before he entered international mission work and when he felt far from God as he preached in the US, God used him to bear fruit and answered prayers in unexpected ways. Even though he didn't get to see these fruits in his lifetime, he trusted that his labor was not in vain.

His unmovable focus on God's will and willingness to die to himself to do it. And this mentality was one he carried all the way up to his death.

His reliance on God for everything, trusting God in his weakness.

I definitely recommend this book because Jim's life is so inspiring and challenging. Being a college student right now, I felt really challenged that college was where Jim's heart for mission work, especially in South America, developed and grew. Throughout his life, he trusted in God's leading and didn't let anyone else - not even his family or the prospect of marriage  - get in the way of him being able to pursue God's will for his life. And in the end, he died at the hands of the people for whom he had been praying for 6 years. He was wholly surrendered to God all the way up to his death and I was really challenged by that.

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Henri Nouwen is one of my favorite authors of all time, and in this book, he provides his insight on contemporary society and how we Christian ministers should respond to our current generation.  This book came out in the late 70s, but Henri Nouwen's description of contemporary society is incredibly spot on to this generation!  He describes our society as a suffering generation - dislocated from a sense of history, hopeless about tomorrow, living without a personal connection to others.  He calls Christians to see our generation as a suffering generation and to be a compassionate guide that helps people navigate to Jesus.  Just as Jesus was wounded by the people he loved and was our wounded healer, so we too are called to heal this world knowing we have been healed from our wounds.
This book corrects my framework on how to approach ministry - we can get so focused on doing the work that we forget how desperately the world needs the Gospel.  There were definitely a lot of parts in the book that I resonated with, especially with the way he described our contemporary society, and how important it is to reach out to the people we meet with compassion and hope found in the Gospel!

10/10 stars.  Go get a copy!
-Ben

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https://drive.google.com/file/d/1URJXs26-Rd7sY71_E0NtuSATXoltDk0t/view?usp=sharing

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Created a testimonial bible study! (sorry might have access issue cuz I created this using my gpmail)

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I just finished reading Living Faith by Dr. Helen Roseveare, who was a Christian missionary and doctor who served in the Congo for over 20 years. In this book, Dr. Roseveare recounts the many instances in her life when she experienced God stirring her faith, especially during her time in the Congo. She frames her story based on a hymn that repeats the phrase “Stir me, oh! stir me Lord…” and she focuses on being stirred to give, stirred to go, and stirred to pray.

I was really challenged by Dr. Helen Roseveare’s willingness to give her all to God, even if it meant leaving a comfortable life in England and moving to the middle of the jungle with minimal access to medical supplies, let alone daily necessities. In the beginning of chapter two, she provides a parable about how God guides us and afterwards writes that “All He demands is step-by-step obedience to the next stage as He shows it, without waiting to see a long way ahead” (p. 88). Throughout this book, I was really struck by her unwavering faith and full submission to God’s guidance, even if she didn’t have everything clearly planned out for her. Often times, her team did not have enough supplies in store and had to fully trust that God would sustain them day-by-day. For myself, I like to be fully prepared and have a clear path before starting anything, but this comes from a place of pride and me wanting to be in control of my situation. Through Dr. Helen Roseveare’s story, I’m definitely challenged to ask God to stir me and to give me the courage to say “yes” to Him, even when I don’t have the full picture.

I really enjoyed this read, so I would recommend this book to anyone looking to be stirred by God. Dr. Helen Roseveare is a true story teller and it’s amazing to see how God really provided for her in each and every situation. Super encouraged after reading this book :)

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“Faith is not dependent on God’s visible acts, but on the disputable fact of His relationship to us” (p. 85)

“If I will allow God all rights to my life, to stir me until He sees I am ready to be applied, I can trust God then, in His perfect timing, to know where He wants to apply me” (p. 90)

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1) Thankful for the ways that I've been able to spend time + serve my family during break.
2) Thankful that my family tested negative for Covid!
3) Thankful that I've been able to learn Figma during my free time.
4) Thankful for rest - finally getting more than 4-6 hours of sleep!
5) Thankful for community and all the ways that I've been able to stay in touch with people over break.
6) Thankful that I got the chance to work on my portfolio.
7) Thankful that despite major changes with my Dad's job, we're still financially stable (trusting in God's provisions!)
8) Thankful that I get to help with Area Youth Ministry planning!
9) Thankful for timely DT passages and books like Living Faith.
10) Thankful for good food while I'm still home :)

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Ch. 1 - Just as Paul feels obligated to share the Gospel, I too do not need to be ashamed to share the Gospel.
Ch. 2 - God’s kindness and patience towards us and our sins are meant to lead us to repentance.
Ch. 3 - All of us have sinned, but are justified by God’s grace.
Ch. 4 - Abraham believed and it was counted to him as righteousness.  Likewise, if we believe in Jesus, we receive his righteousness by faith alone.
Ch. 5 - The amazing truth that though we were once God’s enemies, Christ died for us.
Ch. 6 - We’re no longer slaves to sin but now slaves to His righteousness.
Ch. 7 - We do not do the good that we want to do but the evil that we hate.  But Jesus has saved us from this predicament!
Ch. 8 - We have been adopted as sons and heirs through the Gospel, and therefore God is now our Father.
Ch. 9 - Has the potter have no right over the clay?  God has every right to our lives as our Creator.
Ch. 10 - People cannot believe in the Gospel unless we are out there preaching the Gospel!

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1) Thankful that Lancaster hosted James, Ethan and Rey over dinner on Sunday and that we could play THE MIND afterwards.
2) Thankful that I could bond with JB and David over Harry Potter game.
3) Thankful to read Henri Nouwen’s The Wounded Healer (one of my favorite books) this past week.
4) Thankful to have prayer meeting this past Wednesday
5) Thankful to see my NYC peers on Thursday!
6) Thankful that my interviews have been going well this past week.
7) Thankful that we got to clean the house this week.
8) Thankful for last night’s Bible Study and the fast food fellowship/King Kong shower time.
9) Thankful to get lunch with Bernice yesterday.
10) Thankful to get lunch with the Youth team today.

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Did this for Princeton's Wintersession

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Check out this presentation designed by Aurora Ling.

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1. I am thankful that my family is safe and that I got to spend a lot of time with my family this break.
2. Thankful that all my friends who caught covid were able to recover
3. Thankful for DT
4. Thankful for my dad's church friend to take time out of his day to help me out with my future plans and tips
5. Thankful I got to visit one high school best friend's this week for an early birthday visit!
6. Thankful for technology and zoom!
I was able to help my mom's friend out by zooming with them and hanging out with them despite online school.
7. Thankful for the facetime call me and Esther had the other day and for giving me tips on crocheting! As well as the time to chat and catch up!
8. Thankful that my dog is healthy! He had his vet checkup this week.
9. Thankful that my back is almost fully healed after slipping down the stairs about a week ago.
10. And lastly thankful for this Winter Challenge and the time I got to spend with some of my team members this week on Zoom!

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"To realize that millions of Chinese had never heard of Jesus Christ was to me a staggering thought, and I felt that sorely we ought to do something about it."

"As if someone was in the room, a voice said clearly, 'Gladys Aylward, is Nehemiah's God your God?'
'Yes, of course!' I replied.
'Then do what Nehemiah did, and go.'
'But I am not Nehemiah.'
'No, but assuredly, I am his God.'
That settled everything..."

"Tell us about the God who loves."

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Sorry I accidentally deleted my original one by dragging it out :(

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Sorry I accidentally deleted my original one by dragging it out :(

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Here they are again:
1. Keep a gratitude journal
2. Keep a prayer journal
3. Exercise 3x/week
4. Memorize Philippians

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How then will they call on him in whom they have not believed? And how are they to believe in him of whom they have never heard? And how are they to hear without someone preaching? And how are they to preach unless they are sent? As it is written, “How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the good news!

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1. Read the NT after DT for 10 min. a day
2. Find a new job

Ben

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Some of you guys may not know who Cliffe Knechtle is, but he is a pastor from Connecticut who goes around to different colleges in the US holding apologetic forums with college students.  He actually came to our church one year when I was an undergrad, and thought I wasn’t a Christian at the time, I thought his arguments for Christianity were insightful!  I highly recommend watching his debate videos as a lot of his videos have questions that college students bring up.

In this video, he covers the reliability of the Bible, free will, morality and the concept of faith. One point that stood out to me was how he covered the reliability of the New Testament manuscripts. He not only explains how the short time gap and thousands of copies of the Greek manuscripts make the NT reliable, but also how these books of the Bible were rigorously tested to make sure they were accurate accounts of Jesus. The Church at the time checked these books to make sure they were (1) written by an Apostle/disciple of Jesus (2) not contradictory to the OT and (3) used by the churches in the Mediterranean from Rome to Alexandria. Less credible books were dismissed because they failed to meet the criteria. I thought his arguments were helpful because I have definitely encountered these questions before and it’s helpful to hear how clear and insightful his answers are! - Ben

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Give Me an Answer - Why Should We Trust the Gospels to Tell Us the Truth About Jesus?

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1. thankful for Kim who helped me a lot with building my resume and editing my LinkedIn profile
2. thankful that I was able to do somewhat of internship searching with Megan throughout this week
3. even though my work schedule sometimes doesn't align well with others, I'm thankful that I still have my part-time jobs during this pandemic, and thankfully am able to pay for my expenses every month
4. thankful that we got to have prayer meetings in person this Wednesday
5. thankful that my brother has been coming to bible studies and Sunday service
6. thankful for Gift who wanted to go with me when I went to get my booster shot. Afterwards we got lunch at IHOP and got to catch up with one another!
7. thankful that me and my family are all boosted now
8. thankful for the arts and crafts night we did at 206! we were able to just chat with one another and also learned what each of us were like in high school!
9. even though we wanted to meet in person, because of the rise of cases, I tried to teach Eva crocheting tips over FaceTime. So thankful that we have the technology to do so!
10. thankful for time! i actually had a lot of time to just read and i'm thankful that i got to finish a book before the break ends!

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1. Winter break is almost over!

2. My sister got back to campus safely (even though she caught a ride to her apartment with a man she met on the bus at 2am!)

3. Everyone in my family is no longer sick (woohoo!)

4. There were some "warmer" days this week.

5. Had some good laughs with my parents when reminiscing about the past.

6. My mom was fine after her booster shot.

7. I could take my mother's place at the restaurant so she could spend time with her mother in person after not being able to for over 2 years.

8. A member of my home church reunited with our Father this past week after a long battle of health issues.

9. Having spent a lot of time with my family this break.

10. I am going back to campus!

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1 Tim 5-6 the final instructions for the church and for Timothy.
2 Tim A. Paul's last letter talks about his suffering and how A. Paul views it and commissions Timothy to share in the suffering as a good soldier, to do his best to present himself to God as one approved, to flee youthful passions, even though in the last days it'll be hard. We must be different and must continue in what we've learned and to hold onto the Scriptures and be faithful in preaching the Word.
Titus A. Paul's second to last letter to Titus who is in Crete. He gives him instructions on how to designate elders in the church and establish the church there.
Heb The author expounds on how Jesus is above the angels and how He fulfills the Old Testament and is our great high priest. He talks about the idea of rest and how we must seek to enter God's rest. He points us to the Heroes of faith and how they died never receiving what was promised but they were looking towards heaven. And how we are to follow in their example.

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For today’s DT, I mainly focused on v. 10-11. From these verses, it is evident that God is not pleased based on what we can do for Him, and this is because God doesn’t want workers, He wants genuine relationship. I think this is really notable because most gods are only interested in what you can offer them, but this is not the case with our God. When you realize that you have nothing to offer except from your broken and sinful self, v.11 gives you all the more reason to rejoice. I’m so thankful that God does expect me to be perfect, but that He “takes pleasure in those who fear him, in those who hope in his steadfast love.” Although I don’t have much to offer, what I can do is wholeheartedly rely on God and find comfort knowing that this is pleasing to Him. My heart is filled with so much joy in knowing this and truly it is good to sing praises to God because He has been so good to me :)

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1. Thankful everyone is healthy, even though some got covid the symptoms are mild (PTL for vaccines and boosters)
2. My dad fully recovered from his surgery and chemo and is eating normal again, and very joyful!
3. Got to see my nephew Emmet for the first time since he was a covid baby and got to bond with him.
4. Got my non-xian brother a book that is for seekers "When breath becomes air." Thankful for the author who was an atheist turned Christian/spiritual when his life was turned upsidedown with brain cancer.  He writes very well and chronicles his spiritual journey. He was also a doctor, so it resonated with my bro who is an ER doctor. My brother liked it and started reading it when I was home.
5. Thankful for my time in CA bc I got to catch up with a lot of people I'm close to - all my old leaders, peers, older/younger ones. Thankful for my life that's filled with relationships.
6. Thankful for zoom school for my kids bc we get to spend more time together at home during the day.
7. Thankful for Brian who helped us shovel snow when the snow first hit.
8. Thankful to watch Jayden when Ann and Jerell are gone on a retreat bc I get to bond with him. Such a cutie!
9. Thankful that as a church we take care of each others kids like family.
10. Thankful for all the parents of young kids who still serve so faithfully even when they almost never get a full nights sleep!

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v. 6 And the LORD gave victory to David wherever he went.
This phrase got repeated twice and it was a reminder for me that this is the source of a Christian's strength. The list David's victories is quite impressive and I'm tempted to attribute to David's awesomeness as a person. While there is such a thing as "my betters" this is not the end goal of a Christian. Competence alone is not enough to please God, and this is something I need to keep reminding myself because this world extols "super" men and women and rewards them with money, accolades, and recognition. However, a follower of God knows that even man's at his strength is in the end frail and flawed, esp as we're reminded of David's deep flaws in the next couple chapters. In the end what pleases God is someone who relies on God and fears him.

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Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.
Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted.

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1. My time. I've been making more effort to spend time with my family.
2. I'm thankful that my family has been healthy and taking proper precautions when they go outside.
3. I finished watching Squid Game with my mom while eating Pork Jerky (I recently bought from Costco & so addicting!).
4. My aunt wasn't feeling too well and at to go to the hospital due to her vertigo, but thankfully, she's been doing much better!
5. Salt! I was trying to eat bland food for a few days, and it was really difficult haha.
6. I haven't had the chance to sit down and read a lot. However, I've been reading the book of Luke and Psalm at time to time, which definitely have been good reminders of the goodness of God's words.
7. The weather. I'm really thankful that the temperature isn't too low for a winter season as well as not much snow came.
8. This week I cleaned and reorganized my old room, which took a lot off my mind.
9. I got to catch up with some of my friends!
10. I usually listen to music while rating breakfast. I decided to switch things up for this week and listen to podcasts. I'm thankful there are so many insights I can get out of from diverse podcasts.

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I just finished a biography on George Mueller who is known for taking care of 10,000 orphans in England during the industrial revolutions. I'm so inspired by his reliance on God's word, prayer, and love for the children. He took care of the orphans into his late 80s...so inspiring! One amazing thing is that he never asked anyone for money for the orphanage but relied on prayer and moment by moment God provided. There's this crazy story where one morning there was no breakfast for the orphans and George Mueller prayed for the meal, "Thank you Lord for the breakfast you will provide." They all opened their eyes to empty plates but moments later a baker came and said he had an urge to bake bread for 300 orphans at 2am and delivered them. Then a milk man knocked on the door saying he broke his axel and needed to unload 10 large canisters of milk in order to fix it and he'd donate it to the orphanage for free! So all 300 orphans ate a good breakfast that morning. So awesome!

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"We didn't know of course, the political views of all these people. But - and here I felt a strange leaping of my heart - God did! My job was simply to follow His leading one step at a time, holding every decision up to Him in prayer." (p. 99)

"Didn't he and I stand together before an all-seeing God convicted of the same sin of murder? For I had murdered him with my heart and with my tongue." (p. 192)

"'Give thanks in all circumstances,'" she quoted. "It doesn't say, 'in pleasant circumstances.' Fleas are part of this place where God has put us." (p. 210)

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1. Read at least 10 books this year!
2. Keep a gratitude journal and list at least 2 "positive" things that I'm thankful for and 2 "negative" things that I'm grateful for (want to practice being grateful for everything, not just the good)
3. Pray for 20 minutes every Saturday before going to bed

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Shadow of the Almighty: The Life and Testament of Jim Elliot by Elisabeth Elliot

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Shadow of the Almighty: The Life and Testament of Jim Elliot by Elisabeth Elliot

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There were so many to choose from, it was hard to choose! But these are 3 of my favorites :)

"Oh what a privilege to be made a minister of the things of the 'happy God.' I only hope that He will let me preach to those who have never heard that name Jesus. What else is worth while in this life? I have heard of nothing better. 'Lord, send me!'" - Jim Elliot at age 20

"He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose" - Jim Elliot at age 22

"Father take my life, yea, my blood if Thou wilt, and consume it with Thine enveloping fire. I would not save it for it is not mine to save. Have it Lord, have it all. Pour out my life as an obligation for the world. Blood is only of value as it flows before Thine altar" - Jim Elliot at age 26

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1. I'm thankful to be back at 206. It's been really nice as we've been encouraging and pushing one another to look for internships/jobs and work hard for the winter challenge, especially with Esther!

2. Since coming back to 206, I've been doing a lot of cooking! I'm really thankful for the free time that I have to love and serve my housemates in this way before the busyness of school picks up.

3. Yesterday, I took Miriam, Kim and Che to Plato's closet and the mall. Even though I don't really like shopping, it was fun to spend time with them and catch up with Che.

4. We got to have Che over for dinner last night and it was really fun catching up with her it felt like old times when she used to live with us.

5. Earlier this week, we had leftovers from dinner and Kimisha got back from work late and didn't have dinner. She got to come over and we got to share our leftovers with her. I'm thankful that we got to see her after a long 3 weeks away from campus and catch up with her.

6. I've been really blessed by reading How People Grow by Henry Cloud and John Townsend. There has been a lot of insight that I want to apply to my own spiritual growth as well as in helping my sister grow spiritually (more to come in the Book Worm post!)

7. Kim got to stay with us this past week while her classes were online. I'm thankful for the joy and laughter she always brings to 206!

8. My sister got to come to SWS last Sunday and she said in application to Pastor Manny's message that she wants to lean on the Philly staff more and open up to them more this coming quarter.

9. I'm thankful for the church community and that we still get to have social-distanced fellowship, service, and prayer meeting.

10. For the Kangs for getting us Portuguese egg tarts for our Joyland meeting on Tuesday! It was really yummy :)

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One of my childhood friends from Chicago goes to UIUC and I wanted to pray for her and her campus!

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I really liked v. 1, which says "Praise the Lord! For it is good to sing praises to our God; for it is pleasant, and a song of praise is fitting". It is fitting and appropriate to praise God because of who He is - He is worthy of it and deserves it. It also tells us that it is good and pleasant to give thanks and praise God. I thought about reasons or times that I don't really feel like praising God or giving thanks to God such as the busyness of day-to-day life, the struggles of current circumstances, or simply forgetting who God is or what He has done in my life. These things show that when I do not praise or give thanks to God, I become someone who is narrow-minded, self-centered, pessimistic, ungrateful, and entitled. It ultimately leads me down a negative spiral to forgetting the God who is for me and believing Satan's lie that I live on my own. But praising and giving thanks to God reverses this state. By obeying this psalmist's command to praise the Lord, I can zoom out and see the bigger picture of who God is, what He has done in my life, and what He promises to do. Within the same physical circumstance, I can direct my mind to what is worthy of praise like how Paul says in Philippians 4:8 and God will turn my mourning or apathy into rejoicing.

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But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?'

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I focused on v. 6 and 14, which repeat "and the Lord gave victory to David wherever he went". These verses show that these victories were not because of David's abilities, but because of God's faithfulness to do as He promised David in the previous chapter to make a great name for him and give him rest from all his enemies. I was struck by how this chapter is not a story of David, but a story of God fulfilling his promises and working through David. As I reflected on my own spiritual battles, I saw that I am still fighting through the same battles and struggle with the same things over and over again. But because of the cross and the victory that Jesus has won, I can see my battles as already won. Even though I stumble and fall short in this life, God promises to sanctify me and complete me and He has already won the ultimate victory. Because of this, I can be confident and rejoice that God is on my side and giving me victory everywhere I go even though I am frail and weak in the moment. Praise God for giving us victory in our battles and that I can have the same heart as Apostle Paul in 1 Corinthians 15:57, "Thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ"!

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Boundaries - Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend

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Boundaries - Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend

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Boundaries is a book about how to set limits on others and yourself in a biblical way - through knowing when to say yes and how to say no, you can take control of your life how God intended us to be, not to be controlled by our hurt or insecurities. The book breaks into what boundaries are, what they look like, and how to apply them in different contexts such as family, friends, marriage, kids, work, digital life, yourself, and God!

I am challenged by the book to identify my own boundary conflicts that hinder me from witnessing the freedom to do the good work God has set for me instead of being enslaved by my fears of rejection, insecurities, or love. Throughout the book, I began relating with the provided examples and I explored more about my own character. The book placed heavy emphasis on the important of having a strong foundation of being loved by God and support groups like small groups, peers, or actual support groups so that we don't crumble when we say no if we cannot do something. I realized the importance of relationships and the body of Christ through this book, too.

I recommend this book to anyone at any age as many of the understandings and applications can help anyone navigate through life and relationships. For me, I can want to reread this book again and again. I want to apply what I read into my life so that I can love God and love others instead of doing things out of compliance or compulsion.

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"How ridiculous, such thoughts! If I had it to do again, would I really put these little personal comforts ahead of human lives? Of course not."

"The blacker the night around us grew, the brighter and truer and more beautiful burned the word of God."

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A Dutch woman and her family take on the task of caring for and hiding Jews in their own house despite the risk of getting caught and being sent to prison themselves, as well as just sacrificing their own personal comfort. Eventually they are caught and sent to prison/concentration camp, barely provided the most basic necessities for life, all the while holding onto God and sharing their faith with others.
What I was most challenged by was the way in which God's Word had transformed the mind of Corrie's sister Betsie. She seemed to really see others and the world from the eyes and heart of God wherein, despite living in such horrid circumstances and being abused by the prison guards, she viewed every situation as another opportunity to share the gospel and the prison guards as broken people who needed the gospel and whom she genuinely loved and cared for.
I would recommend everyone to read this book because not only does it depict the life of this amazing family who risked their lives for the sake of Jews who could offer them nothing and all the drama that unfolded afterwards, but to a Christian, it cannot but challenge one's worldview, while to someone who may not share the Christian worldview, it gives them a very vivid picture of it.

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1. My mom is lending me her car indefinitely so I basically get to have my own car for the first time ever.
2. Quality father-daughter time with my dad, especially our daily walks where we can get fresh air and chat freely.
3. Watching films every night with my boyfriend—my favorite way to unwind.
4. Cooking dinner with my boyfriend every night and having the freedom to make whatever food we want.
5. Some of my best friends from high school moved back home to Texas after college and I’m so excited to be able to see them more often.
6. Getting to spend my birthday (the 15th) with my dad, my boyfriend, and some of my close friends.
7. My cat is always in high spirits and brightens my mood whenever I see her.
8. I love staying in regular contact with my friends from the East and West Coast, and outside the US.
9. I surprised myself in making two new, close friends during my final year of college.
10. Receiving unconditional support from close friends and family for my career aspirations in film and content creation.

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1. Exercise at least 15 minutes a day
2. Journal in different languages every day
3. Cap time spent messaging on devices at two hours a day
4. Actually execute these resolutions!

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I was really amazed by David's heart in response to God telling him, "I will build YOU a house" when he says, "Who am I that you have brought me thus far?... What more can David say to you?" David was just left in awe and wonder because he knew that he didn't do anything to earn God's blessing and that there was nothing he could do for God in return. The reality is that there was nothing that David could do for God that would adequately describe his awe and gratitude - he couldn't even build a house for God because God didn't need one. All David can do is praise God (v. 22) and commit his kingdom to being established before Him (v. 26, 29). When I look back at all the ways God has brought me thus far, my salvation, and God's future promises, it really right-sizes all the things that I try to offer up to God. The reality is that God doesn't need me, my time, my money, or my acts of service, but pride leads me to think that I have something to offer God. All I can do is humbly praise God and commit to a life that establishes God's glory though I actually have little to offer. I pray that I could have a humble heart like David and that I would cling onto the awe and wonder of God's goodness.

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1. I became more active in one of the clubs I've joined and I met some amazing people.
2. Finally moved back to my other sister's new place.
3. I read more novels and was able to study more
4. My dad announced that he's coming over next week
5. I was able to spend less time on my phone and other devices
6. I got along better with my other sisters
7. I talked more with my older brother
8. I had a major pain on my body that healed almost overnight
9. My step mum got to America safely
10. I read my Bible more

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Spiritual new year resolution: I want to start a prayer and gratitude journal this year
Physical new year resolution: I want to try weightlifting this year and make a workout schedule that will keep me in shape :)

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In today’s DT, I mostly focused on Jesus’ interaction with Peter. Jesus asks Peter whether he loves him and after asking this question three times, Jesus says to take care of his sheep. This is how Peter would show his love for Jesus, but in doing so, Peter would lose his life. In v. 18, Jesus tells Peter that he would eventually be crucified and he challenges Peter to follow him. I thought Peter’s response in v. 20-21 was really interesting because he doesn’t directly respond to Jesus’ invitation but rather shifts the focus onto John. This was Peter’s way of avoiding Jesus’ difficult call to follow him, especially because he knew that following Jesus meant certain death. In the same way for us, following Jesus means rejection from the world (social “death”), persecution, and possibly losing our own lives. I think Peter’s response is really relatable because answering this kind of call to a life spent and ultimately sacrificed for God is not easy. But I liked Jesus’ response in v.22 when he tells Peter, “You follow me!” I’m reminded that all of us are personally given this call and we need to decide for ourselves whether or not we are going to follow Jesus. For me, I think the idea of social rejection and persecution is still something that is really scary because it jeopardizes my desire to be liked by others. But when I realize how much more I have gained through Jesus’ death and resurrection, living boldly as a follower of Christ and sharing in his suffering becomes more of an honor than anything else.

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Call family and relatives more often and check up on them more. Another goal is to learn more time management skills

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But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you

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1. I am grateful most of my family were able to get their booster shot
2. I was able to stay in touch with friends and hang out virtually
3. That I have such a wonderful group of friends that I don’t feel lonely even when I’m far away
4. There is no shortages of essentials like water and tp like before
5. That classes will be virtual until February
6. That the apartments are still open and I can return to campus
7. That I can spend time with my family and catch up on recent events
8. I am grateful that we got additional heaters because our heating system doesn’t really work properly
9. That our WiFi is semi working compared to before when it was really bad
10. That I’ll be able to go back to campus soon and looking forward to the retreat

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One theme that I got from this passage was being resolved to follow Jesus, which I observed in 2 ways:

1) I thought it was interesting that even after seeing the risen Jesus, Peter went back to his former occupation (fishing). This may have been out of self-preservation to go back to something comfortable or secure during an uncertain time, but what he soon realized is that it failed until Jesus came into the picture. I was thinking about uncertainties in my life whether it's the pandemic, career, where God is leading me in the church, etc. and how I am tempted to turn back to former ways and habits to try to preserve myself or be in control of my future. But these things will ultimately be fruitless apart from Jesus and I need to be resolved to follow Jesus no matter how uncertain the circumstance is.

2) Another way that I saw this theme was in v. 22 when Jesus says "what is that to you? You follow me!" (I can imagine the emphasis on the YOU follow me!) In the end, whether other people follow Jesus doesn't matter because it's a personal decision that involves yourself. I can see myself being like Peter because it's definitely easier to follow Jesus when others are doing it with me. But I thought about what would happen if I didn't have peers or friends to do it with me - would I still follow Jesus? I was challenged to reaffirm my personal love and commitment to Jesus and resolve to follow him no matter who is beside me.

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Make me to know your ways, O Lord; teach me your paths. Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you I will wait all the day long.

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As I was reading today's passage, I focused on the disciples' posture of fear. John mentions that it was the "evening of that day, the first day of the week," meaning it was the same day that Peter and John (and likely more) saw that Jesus was gone from His tomb. It was also the same day Mary saw Jesus come to her in His resurrected body, and (assuming she went to the disciples before the evening) the disciples would have heard about her experience as well. John also writes about himself, saying, "he saw and believed" after seeing Jesus' empty tomb. Yet despite this amazing news that should have expelled any doubt of Jesus' identity, the disciples still locked themselves inside out of fear of the people. I love that Jesus chose this exact time, several hours after he revealed Himself to Mary, to come to "his brothers." He knew their fear at this moment, and he addressed that immediately, but not by telling them to have courage—which might be the instinctive juxtaposition of fear—but rather to have peace. And after twice telling them to have peace, He sends them as the Father sent Him. Similarly, in my life, I have had those times where fear has mentally locked me away from serving Him. But, I am reminded in this passage that when I hit those lows in life, it is then that Jesus comes to meet me in my needs. He will first offer me that peace, and by finding that peace in Him, I can maximally serve Him. The fact that the disciples were locked away inside again eight days later also reminds me that finding peace in Jesus is a daily wrestle, and if I am not mindful, I will quickly end up back in the same cycle as before.

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One thing that really stuck out to me from today’s text was the gentleness in Jesus’ response to Mary and Thomas. He responded to their lack of faith in different ways but he approached both of them personally. In v. 16, Jesus comforts Mary in her sadness and calls her by name. And later in v. 27, Jesus gives Thomas the evidence that he demanded. Through both instances, I’m reminded that Jesus is not blind to our struggles and knows the areas that we are lacking in faith. Yet, he chooses to address us personally and with gentleness. As I was reflecting, 2 Timothy 2:13 came to mind, “If we are faithless, he remains faithful — for he cannot deny himself.” God is the ultimate standard of faithfulness and there is no better example of this than the cross. I’m really encouraged knowing that even when I am struggling in my faith, Jesus remains faithful and does not give up on me.

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I focused on the first words Jesus says as he approaches Mary vs. the disciples. While Jesus calls Mary by name, he tells the disciples, "peace be with you". I found it really fitting that Jesus chose these to be the first words he says to these people after he rose from the dead. He addresses Mary's despair and weeping  in v. 11 by comforting her as he says her name and he addresses the disciples' fear in v. 19 by giving them peace. Jesus is personal and meets us where we're at with what we need. I was reminded of my own testimony of how I was searching for love and disregarding God to pursue my own way of living, but God showed that He loved me and offered me forgiveness through verses like Romans 5:8 and John 4. He saw my condition and He approached me personally with open arms. Because of this encounter with Jesus, I can go out just like Mary and the disciples and proclaim that Jesus is risen and offers life in his name!

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Matthew explains the genealogy of Jesus affirming that He is the Son of David, the Messiah. Joseph, Mary's husband, had a dream of an angel explaining the situation of Mary's virgin pregnancy that she will give birth to the Messiah, Immanuel.

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1. The pharmacy I worked for has been inundated with the rise in covid, so I'm thankful to be able to help over break with shots and tests.

2. Nabeel Qureshi's story was really inspiring and informative, and I'm glad I was able to discuss that with my mom as she works with Afghan refugees who are often Muslim.

3. Very thankful that my family all tested negative to covid and that I've recovered.

4. Thankful for the winter challenge for keeping motivated this break to stay productive and helping me with spiritual growth.

5. I've been able to do a lot of walks and bike rides in my free time.

6. Quarantine gave me a lot of time alone to be able to really dive into my books and into His Word.

7. Was able to go shopping at the mall with my mom this past week and help get stuff for my sister as well.

8. Was able to grab meals with some some of the bros!

9. Thankful for being able to catch up on sleep before school starts again.

10. Thankful for quarantine to be over and being able to see gp people again for bible study!

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Ch. 15: Isaiah gives a prophecy about Moab, which will be destroyed. The people cry out and tremble and try to flee.

Ch. 16: Judah is to provide shelter and refuge for the Moabites. God will judge Moab in 3 years.

Ch. 17: Isaiah gives a prophecy about Damascus, which will fall into ruins. Israel's glory will be brought low because they have forgotten God. Many nations will rush in, but God will rebuke them.

Ch. 18: The people beyond Cush (I believe Isaiah is referring to Ethiopia) will ask Judah to form an alliance against Assyria, but God tells them they don't need to. God says that He will prune Assyria himself and that the Ethiopians will come to Mount Zion to worship Him.

Ch. 19: Isaiah gives a prophecy about Egypt and how the Egyptians will be stirred up against each other and that God will give them into the hand of a fierce king who will rule over them. One day, Judah will become a terror to the Egyptians, but God will send a savior to deliver them. And they will worship the Lord along with Assyria and Israel.

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1. I found my old DT books from freshman year and read through some of my old journals and prayers as I scanned them into my iPad. I'm so thankful for how God has led me and grown me these past 3.5 years and for the many answers to prayer!
2. On Thursday, I drove my mom to Bridgewater mall, Menlo Park mall, and Costco to do a bunch of Christmas gift returns. Glad we had that time to talk and that I got to do her a small favor by driving her places.
3. Come What May by Cory Asbury - a good song to hold onto as I begin 2022
4. I finished reading Shadow of the Almighty and I was really inspired by Jim Elliot's zeal and surrenderedness.
5. The timely DTs - got to do it with Miriam on Monday and Esther on Wednesday and I'm thankful for our catch up time and sharings.
6. I got to FaceTime Destiny and catch up with her!
7. My whole family is officially recovered from covid!
8. My dad came back from his business trip in Las Vegas safely.
9. My grandma was able to recover well from covid and I got to visit her today!
10. There is less light pollution in my hometown than in Piscataway - I enjoyed looking at the stars this week!

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1. For being able to pay my tuition.

2. For all my family members and myself being able to quickly get over being sick for the past week.

3. For being able to help my parents at the restaurant while they were sick and lost their voice for a few days.

4. After my brother and cousin tested positive for covid at school, everyone else is still currently negative.

5. My youngest sister tested negative for covid, after getting a false positive at school.

6. It did not snow a lot (so I didn't have to shovel for a long time :))

7. For my grandma cooking yummy food everyday.

8. For being able to tutor again after taking a break due to finals and the holidays.

9. For seeing familiar customers and seeing their positivity (definitely outweighs

the crazy encounters with some customers).

10. For music to end my days after working 10+ hours everyday.

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I shared my testimony with my oldest cousin, who is a believer, but felt a little distant from God recently.

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I was really struck by v. 3, which says "You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways." God is acquainted with all my ways, including the ways that are shameful and falling short of God's glory. Yet it's amazing that God still leads me & holds me and searches out my path when I go astray. This is why David can invite God to search and know his heart in v. 23-24. Even though it might feel threatening or shameful to know that God sees everything you do, say, and think, it's also comforting because God still takes me as I am. Having this same heart as David means recognizing that I fall short and that there is no running away or hiding from God. It also means being confident that God still embraces me and will lead me in his everlasting way. I pray that I would grow in this heart and attitude towards God, my maker and heavenly father who fully knows, yet fully loves me!

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Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect

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Read a book for 15 min a day

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1. I'm thankful that it didn't snow a lot this week as expected.
2. I'm thankful I was able to help out a grandpa shovel some snow that piled up on his car.
3. I'm thankful that my family's health has been good this week. I'm very thankful that my brother's test came out negative.
4. I'm thankful that there is always enough food on the table every day.
5. I'm thankful that I've been able to keep in touch with some of my closet high school friends. We did plan on meeting this week, but we pushed it off due to conflicting schedules and since cases are on the rise.
6. I'm thankful that YouTube exists for me to learn how to play the guitar!
7. I'm thankful that my parents aren't agitated (yet) by my presence. For the most part, they always want to talk and spend family time with me.
8. I'm thankful that this Klesis challenge is keeping me motivated each day to be active instead of being a couch potato. It really is motivating especially to see others serve in many ways.
9. I'm thankful that my brother is talking more (at least to me)!
10. I'm thankful for God's words of wisdom. The gospel has been graciously rendering me peace at mind.

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1.  I'm thankful that our family was able to travel and see our loved ones over the holidays and arrive back safely.
2. I'm thankful for all the staff at the airport who worked on the holidays, so that others could fly.
3. I'm thankful to be able to spend time in Big Bear during the peak of the snow. It was beautiful to be amidst God's creation  - plus I miss all the mountains in CA!
4. I'm thankful that I got to see old high school and college friends, that we're still able to keep in touch after all these years.
5. I'm thankful that I was able to take Theo to the zoo with his cousins, as this was the first time they had extended time together.
6. I'm thankful for all the leads who worked hard over the break to finalize plans for the upcoming year.
7. I'm thankful for good food, esp since we got to eat most of my favorite things - sushi, street tacos, in and out, GOOD vietnamese food, la michoacana haha and more!
8. I'm thankful for the time I got to spend with my siblings, as I haven't seen my oldest brother in a very long time. It was sweet watching him bond with Theo for the first time!
9. I'm thankful for God's word that speaks truth into my life and helps direct me path.
10. I'm thankful for how God's redeemed my life and this is especially true whenever I get glimpses of what my life would have been like without Christ. Thank God for his mercy!

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Psalm 139 has always been one of my favorite psalms. David talks about being intimately known by God and says in v.6 that “such knowledge is too wonderful for [him].” But for someone who doesn’t know God or His character, I think this could be intimidating. The mere thought of someone seeing your every move and knowing your every thought is scary, especially if this Someone happens to be God Almighty. There is no running away or hiding because God already knows. Yet, for someone who recognizes their sin and need for forgiveness, I think this is very comforting. When I fall into sin, I don’t need to hide because God already knows and isn’t surprised by my failures (v.16). When I reflect on who God is, His holiness, and how I am eternally separated from God in my sin, I am even more amazed. This year, I definitely want to challenge myself to invite God to “search me” and “know my heart” in even deeper ways, knowing that I am safe within the arms of my Heavenly Father :)

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1. Learn Japanese for 15 mins everyday.
2. Spend more time with families and friends.
3. Be happy
4. Run 12k every weekend.

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Seeking Allah, Finding Jesus – Nabeel Qureshi

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Seeking Allah, Finding Jesus – Nabeel Qureshi

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"It is only after we are unfettered by fear that we can live boldly, as true Christians."

"Anguish and suffering are not just risks of following Jesus, they are means of following Jesus."

"Now I knew what i meant to follow God. I meant walking boldly by His Spirit of grace and love, in the firm confidence of everlasting life given through the Son, with the eternal purpose of proclaiming and glorifying the Father."

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Seeking Allah, Finding Jesus – Nabeel Qureshi

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Seeking Allah, Finding Jesus – Nabeel Qureshi

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This book was written from Nabeel's perspective, a devout Muslim from birth who was challenged in his faith and came to find Christ as his personal Savior. Nabeel was raised by devout Ahmadi Muslim parents and he extensively expands on the Islamic traditions, Quranic knowledge, and pro-Islam apologetics that he prided himself in for a majority of his life. All that changed when he was challenged by a Christian who would become his best friend in college: David Wood. That very relationship saw David's relentless passion for Jesus plant the seeds in Nabeel that would forever change both of their lives. The rest of the book details the immense relational, mental, and spiritual barriers Nabeel had to overcome to finally overturn his entire life and give it over to Christ. I picked some highlights based on some of my favorite quotes in the book:

1. "Only the exceptional blend of love, humility, hospitality, and persistence can overcome these barriers, and not enough people make the effort." This quote was in reference to a section of the book that was addressing the challenges of outreach to Muslims in the Western world. As an immigrant himself, Nabeel recognized numerous cultural barriers that isolated Eastern immigrant families from America and Christianity. For example, families often associate the more promiscuous Western/American culture equivalent to Christian values, therefore, being Americanized means to become Christian. Their substitution of cultural norms for religious beliefs sets a precedent in the mind that automatically biases many Muslims against an "ungodly" and "immoral" Christian message. The last part of the quote is key though, as Nabeel reflects that many Christians don't live any differently from the world around them, which just confirms the bias in their mind.

2. "There were [no Christians] I knew who cared about me unconditionally....Since no Christians cared about me, I did not care about their message." Here, Nabeel talks about why the Christian message often came in one ear and out the other for him. He had met many Christians over the years in the various states he lived in, but often, they shared the message for the sake of getting the message out and not truly befriending him and helping him on that journey. They looked for conditional friendship, wanting to grow in relationship only if he was a Christian as well. Fortunately, Nabeel met David who did grow to be his friend, and could see the steps that he took, both forwards and back. It took Nabeel nearly all of his undergraduate and graduate years to finally accept the gospel, and David was with him every step of the journey.

3. "I subconsciously found ways and means to go on rejecting the gospel so I would not be faced with what I would have to pay.” At this point, Nabeel has overcome numerous barriers already and is teetering on the edge of belief in Jesus. Nabeel struggled for months with what the truth was—Allah or Jesus—and persistently asked for signs from God to show him the way. When he asked, he received: messages in the forms of Christian friends, Bible verses, and even dreams. But despite the overwhelming evidence he had for Christianity, he price of following Christ held a strong grip on him from truly changing his heart, particularly the severing or betrayal of familial and community relationships that would ensue after a conversion. Ultimately, the truth was too evident and the message too clear. Nabeel gave up everything in his life to follow Christ: his family cut communication for several years after his conversion; after completing medical school, he gave up his dreams of becoming a doctor and instead went into ministry; and David eventually moved to NYC to complete his education, and Nabeel was left to grow on his own for a while. This wouldn't be the end of his troubles either, but in the end, it was worth it for Christ.

Overall, my biggest takeaway/lesson is from looking at David's relationship with Nabeel throughout Nabeel's journey. David started off as a passionate Christian who didn't know much about Islam, but was willing to challenge Nabeel in his faith anyways. As Nabeel writes, what a Christian needs to befriend a Muslim "is not advanced knowledge of Islam but a willingness to discover what is important to their Muslim friends and the desire to invest the time to learn and discuss those matters as the relationship progresses." I'm inspired to more openly and comfortably approach those of other faiths, not only to have those crucial conversations, but to build rapport with them and to show them the love of Jesus even if they challenge me on my faith.
I would definitely recommend this book, especially for anyone who wants to learn more about Islam and Nabeel's methodical elimination of his different pillars of belief in Islam. Nabeel also includes numerous Urdu/Islamic terms and defines them in the margins, which I found to be very useful not only for understanding the story but for future reference in discussions I may have with Muslims. I also appreciated that he included his Islamic apologetic arguments and how David or himself broke down each argument into invalidity.

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There are a lot of things that happened in today’s text, but I mostly focused on the theme of God’s holiness. Returning the ark of the covenant was a good thing, but the way they went about doing this blatantly ignored God’s commands. In Numbers 4:15, God specifically tells Moses and Aaron that the ark is only to be carried by the priests (Levites) but in 2 Samuel 6, we see the ark being placed on a cart. I thought that it was really interesting that there was an emphasis on the “newness” of this cart and made me wonder why that was an important point to highlight. I think they could have thought that God would be pleased with this new cart, as it was probably more advanced and looked impressive, but God was not pleased by their disobedience. We also see Uzzah directly violating God’s command when he tries to keep the ark from falling off the cart. At first glance, I think God’s response to Uzzah could be seen as harsh but I think there is a clear warning here for those who have become too comfortable with the idea of God’s holiness. The ark remained at Abinadab’s house for a really long time and I think in some ways, Uzzah and Ahio could have become too accustomed and forgotten what the ark represented: the immediate presence and glory of God. When we become to comfortable, it could be easy to take something that should glorify God and turn it into something else. The procession itself must have appeared really extravagant with this new cart carrying the ark and all of the celebration surrounding it, but God wasn’t pleased because they completely disregarded His Word and went about it their own way. I’m reminded that God doesn’t care so much about grand gestures, but He cares about our heart posture towards Him. This serves as a good reminder for me because when serving, I think it can be easy to get caught up in the looks of things, but what matters most is whether my serving is truly out of reverence for God.

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"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’ and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself."

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1. Grow in the attitude of gratitude 🙏🏼
2. I'd like to read more Christian books this year 📘

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The theme of God's holiness in today's DT reminded me of ch. 1 of c201 about how God is love and mercy, but without understanding his holiness, we can't fully understand and appreciate his love and mercy. I was thinking about how the ark displays this same principle: it brings blessings to the household it resides in, but they cannot be fully celebrated without understanding God's holiness. I saw this in David's response when he initially was not willing to bring the ark into the city of David out of fear of God's holiness and then his fear turned into dancing and worship when he heard about its blessings. David had a "woe is me" moment, but it turned into rejoicing when he understood that God wanted to pour out his blessings on his people despite him being unworthy before God's holiness. And we see this new understanding as he lays aside his royal garments to simply worship God and risks losing his dignity and shaming himself before others. It reminds me of Psalm 30:11-12! In order to appreciate God's blessings and my salvation, I first need to see myself in the light of God's holiness. David's response along with warnings from Uzzah's and Michal's response reminded me of the importance of taking God's holiness seriously and seeing myself against the backdrop of God's holiness so that I can have a heart of worship like David.

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I found the development of David in this passage to be revealing about the continued relational growth between him and God. At first, after God strikes down Uzzah, David has a genuinely fearful reaction, realizing God's power and holiness. He tries to distance himself from the Ark, questioning how someone like him could bring God into his city, and in a way, into his life. However, in doing so, David leaves the Ark with the house of Obed-edom, who were Levite descendants and the rightful carriers of the Ark of God. God worked through the Levites and blessed them, showing first Israel and then David (v.12, "it was told King David") that obedience in God cultivates blessings, not fear. When David realizes this, his change in attitude towards God completely transforms. Not only does David sacrifice an ox, a fattened animal, burnt offerings, and peace offerings (v.13 and 17), but he also "danced before the Lord with all his might," wearing linen clothing. I could almost feel his joy and celebration through the words, and then David goes on to become a blessing by blessing Israel (v.18) and his household (v.20). In contrast with Michal's attitude, David stopped caring about how people viewed him but only how he acted in God's presence. He humbled himself, putting linen cloths on rather than royal robes befitting of his title, and he worshipped with all his might. Through David, I got to see how someone on fire for God genuinely acts from their heart. I can still waver between David and Michal regarding where they stood with God in my own life. Despite his status as king, David was in the midst of the parade and celebration. On the other hand, Michal was "looking out of the window," watching and judging how David celebrated, concerned with how his actions would affect people's view of him and, ultimately, her. David's heart reminds me to reflect on times I hold myself back from giving my all to God because I overthink how I appear to people, forgetting that God's view of me is what truly matters. Instead, I can't be afraid to fully embrace God in my life and let that joy overflow, as God calls for my all and will use my all as part of His plans.

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do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.

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https://drive.google.com/file/d/11b4h9J3QhR_XGBa_d0M5i5IOFaRS_is4/view?usp=sharing

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Marilyn Laszlo spent 25 years of her life, loving, serving, and living among the Sepik Iwam poeple in Papua New Guinea. Though she had no ties with the people there nor did she even knew how to communicate in the people's languages before, she obeyed God's calling for her, moved across the continents, and was able to put the Sepik Iwam people's language into written form for the first time and translated the entire Bible into their language. She poured herself into loving these people, sharing Jesus' love with them, raising up spiritual leaders, building churches and leaving behind the Gospel with the people. I was very challenged by her obedience toward God and love for the people. I was also challenged by how honest she was with her feelings when she was faced with many discouragements and setbacks and she would always confess honestly her feelings to God and pray to God for guidance, strength and wisdom. She didn't hide anything from God and would always turn to God first in prayers. This is a must read book for all and I want to highly encourage you to read it. It is very hard to put down once you start reading this book!

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"O God, she prayed silently, fill my heart with love. I'll fail if I try to do your work here on my own."
"The Holy Spirit had shown her that God's laws were indeed written on the hearts of the Sepik Iwam people. Each person was created the freedom of choice, with the capacity to believe or disbelieve. Marilyn was not introducing something totally foreign. It had been there; they just had not known the True Source."

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https://drive.google.com/file/u/1/d/1Kb32kvuulYy9qr0JuCUkjwcADbsJl6FG/view?usp=drivesdk

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And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful.

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This book describes the life and ministry of Gladys Aylward, a missionary to China. It talks about her background: how she came from a family that was not wealthy, how she was rejected as a missionary to China because of her lack of education (Chinese was deemed too difficult to learn for her), and how she was determined to save up to go to China herself.
It's hard to choose highlights because it was all so inspiring and good. Three highlights here:
1. When Gladys decided to go to China, she could only afford taking the train to Russia, which would eventually bring her to China. But war was still happening with the Japanese, and the Communists just took over Russia. So the train ended up stopping, and she had to trek through the snow, only to face the threat of getting stuck there by people who wanted to use her as a machinist in Russia. They took her passport and didn't let her leave. One memorable moment was when the person who had her passport went to her door at night, holding her passport in hand and refusing to give it to her. She quickly grabbed the passport and told him, "You have no power here. Between you and me is my God. I dare you to try and touch me." It worked — he ran off, and she ran away with some help to a boat with a Japanese captain on the way to China.
2. One time in China, when a rebel group took over the area, the general bullied Gladys because she had called him a sinner. He held her hostage at home demanding to know how she knew about his personal life. One night he stormed into her home on the first floor and demanded that she come down to him. But Gladys simply said, "No, I'm a free citizen of China. You come up here." That was so bold. He ended up going up to her and she preached the gospel to him. His life changed — but his soldiers were unhappy with his refusal to be a bandit, and they kidnapped and tortured him for many months or years to try to break him. Finally he escaped and came back a broken man, hardly recognizable — but one thing he kept repeating: "I belong to Jesus."
3. Gladys and a guide were trying to scope out a land in China that Christians hadn't gone to before. On the journey, Gladys and her guide discovered that there seemed to be nothing there — no civilization, no food, no nothing. So in some anxiety, they knelt, prayed, and sang. Her guide jumped up and said he saw a man, so he went to go get him. It turned out to be a lama. And it moreover turned out that the lamas had been waiting a long time for a Christian to come. They asked them, "tell us about the God who loves." Some lamas had come across John 3:16 in a marketplace eight years prior, where someone was handing out a "flyer"/pamphlet offering free salvation from God, who loved the world and sent his only son. They marveled at this. They knew that, because God loved the world, he would surely send people to reach them and tell them about this news, too. So they waited. Gladys and her companion, just before this in the depth of cynicism and doubt, ended up ministering to about 500 lamas who had waited for a Christian to come and tell them about "the God who loves." These lamas had held onto the scrap of paper that had John 3:16, passing it around from lama to lama and pinning to the wall for years. They knew Gladys and her guide were Christian when they heard them singing, because only followers of the God who loves would sing.

Everyone should read this book! I was feeling pretty burdened for my family while over break and felt pretty weak, but reading this book during my last week at home was strengthening as I thought about all the people who have gone before me and stayed faithful. Gladys endured war, hardship, near-starvation, dangerous and horrible journeys through the mountains, bombings, etc. Through it all, there was one thing in her mind: to tell people of God's salvation and love for everyone. She adopted hundreds of orphaned children and changed the hearts of many of my kinsmen. I'm so grateful for her work in China. Her endurance and perseverance challenges me. She is one of the many who are in that crowd in Heaven, cheering us on. It was a real blessing to read this book.

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As I was reading the second half of the text, I noticed that in v. 21 and 25, David successfully obeyed in the 2 areas that Saul failed to obey that ultimately got him rejected from the throne: (1) in v. 21, David and his men carried the foreign idols away out of obedience to God whereas in 1 Samuel 15, Saul failed to devote his enemy's possessions to destruction and kept them in his land (2) in v. 25, David obeyed God's command to wait for the sign that the Lord went before him in battle. David was able to wait for the Lord in battle whereas in 1 Samuel 13, Saul failed to wait for the Lord by failing to wait for Samuel to make the burnt offering before battle. When presented with these situations, Saul took matters into his own hands and sought control, but David trusted & obeyed God and yielded everything to God. While Saul was autonomous, David was surrendered. I was reflecting about these qualities in the area of career where I can fall into worry and anxiety about building my resume or having job security once I graduate. It's tempting to be like Saul and take matters into my own hands, getting as many internship experiences and joining as many pharmacy clubs as possible. But while these aren't necessarily bad things, I need to be more like David who was so surrendered to God and was able to wait for Him in obedience. I can trust and obey God!

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I thought it was really notable that David was crowned king at the age of 30, and I think it sheds light on the importance of waiting periods in our lives. David was anointed by Samuel at the age of 15 and God used the next 15 years of his life to prepare him for the 40 years that he would reign as king. It was through these years of preparation that taught David what it looked like to be fully dependent on God. I think we really see this in today’s text, as David’s first instinct was to inquire of the Lord when faced with the Philistines (v. 19). God gave them into David’s hand and I think this is why it’s so significant that David inquired of the Lord a second time. The situation in v. 22-23 looked the exact same as before and I think it could have been easy for David to expect the same victory if he used the same tactics. Yet, David chooses to go to God first which shows how he fully relied on God’s guidance before anything else. David’s success can be attributed to this and I think there is a clear lesson here for me. Without the 15 years that God used to shape David, I’m not sure if he would have had this same kind of trust towards God. It was because of the struggles that he faced that he was able to confidently say that “The LORD has broken through my enemies before me like a breaking flood” (v. 20). In my life, I can learn to really value the “waiting periods” knowing that God is carefully using this time to prepare me like He did with David. Truly, there is nothing better for me than to fully trust and submit to God’s guidance in every area of my life :)

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I focused on the theme of authority and how Pilate and the chief priests are claiming to have authority over Jesus. Pilate says in v. 10 that he has authority to release or crucify Jesus and the chief priests are claiming authority as they reject Jesus and their king and have him crucified. I was thinking about how this is the sinner's condition: rejecting Jesus as king and claiming authority over him. But this claim of authority doesn't actually align with reality for 2 reasons. (1) We want to be in control and in power, but we were not meant to be the authority in our lives - it's not how we were created. The fact that we were created shows that there is a creator who has rightful authority over us. (2) Even when we try to seize authority, we never truly end up having it. We see this in Pilate who ends up giving into the crowd and the chief priests who are so focused on making sure Jesus is NOT their king that they end up calling Caesar their king even though they don't even like Caesar. And I find that this is true in my life too: when I try to seize control and authority in my life and decide what's good and evil for myself/do what I want to do, I am rejecting Jesus as my rightful authority over my life. Furthermore, I might claim to be my own authority, but the reality is that I'm a slave to the world's values and to my flesh. But when I see Jesus, the one who actually had authority in this whole situation, I notice how instead of proving his rightful authority, he actually surrendered it. He willingly took on the flogging, the mockery, and the cross, and he remained silent in v. 9 rather than defending his innocence. He did it because he loved us, for the joy that was set before him (Hebrews 12:2). Jesus didn't have to prove his authority because he knew that he had it from God. Instead, he used his authority to surrender it so that I could be saved from my sins and reconciled back to the Father. In response, I can recommit to giving Jesus lordship and surrender my (nonexistent) authority and serve him. Praise the Lord that I have Jesus as the perfect example of humility to look toward and that he saved me from my sins even though I keep trying to claim authority over my life.

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I was struck with the repeated phrase, "that the Scripture might be fulfilled." This phrase was even describing what the soldiers, what the Pharisees, all the characters in the Passion account did was playing right into God's sovereign plan. In this darkest of moments, when the most innocent man in all the world was getting beaten, flogged, mocked, and crucified, God is in control. Even in the posture of Jesus through the whole thing. He is so calm and so confident in God's authority. He tells Pilate he has no authority except given from above. Versus Pilate who feels like he's in a position of authority, yet is so subject to his fears and desires. I think when we give into our desire for control, we only become more and more fearful and anxious, because in the end it's all an illusion, and we'll just be grasping at straws. But when we are aligned with reality, surrendered to God, then we can finally be free of fear, even if that means going to the cross.

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1. Learn a new language
2. Explore the country
3. Exercise to get into better shape
4. Read more books
5. Get a job

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But as many recieved him, to them he gave power to become Sons of God, even to them that believe on his name

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Shared testimony with some old high school friends I was able to meet up with

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In today’s DT, I focused on the religious leaders’ rejection of Jesus and the idea of kingship. I thought it was really interesting in v. 15 when the chief priests stated that they had “no king but Caesar." Outwardly, Caesar was more impressive than Jesus, with regard to material wealth and human power. I think Caesar represents the popular notion that it is good (and acceptable) to be king over your own life, exercising your own will in the pursuit of status and satisfaction. To the religious leaders, following Jesus looked like renouncing this popular notion for something lesser. I think at the root of their rejection was their desire to be lord over their own lives, unwilling to let go of the power and authority that they had accumulated for themselves. This is sin at its core: dethroning God and setting up our own “kings” that seem to benefit us in our selfish pursuits. I’m just reminded of my own testimony and the ways that I’ve acted like the religious leaders, rejecting Jesus and trying to be lord over my own life. The world would tell me that this is a good thing, but I am reminded that my sin is what put Jesus on the cross. The more I reflect on my shortcomings, the more amazed I am by the true King who laid down his life so that I could enter into it.

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When I went through today's DT, I focused on the interaction between Jesus and Pilate in verses 7-11. I found it interesting that Pilate's first response to hearing Jesus called himself the Son of God was fear, not disbelief or laughter. To me, his fear exposes that he had some realization, some grasp of what was at play. Pilate had asked Jesus what the truth is (John 18:38), yet we get the sense that Pilate knows some of the truth. Then, Pilate tries to compensate for his fear and his shock at Jesus' silence by asserting he has authority over Jesus. But Jesus retorts Pilate, telling him he "would have no authority over [Him] at all unless it had been given [him] from above." We also know that Jesus had already directly told Pilate that His kingdom is not of this world (John 18:36). Pilate also knew that Jesus was innocent, having found Jesus entirely guiltless on multiple occasions. Even though Pilate claimed he had the authority to release Jesus and had every reason to, he couldn't overcome what he was truly a slave to: how other's viewed him. The crowds take advantage of Pilate's weakness (v.12) by bringing Caesar into the picture. Between Caesar and the masses, Pilate was fearful of how others would view him if he stood up for Jesus. Despite his position of power, we find him in a similar situation to Peter from the chapter before. Both knew the evidence for the truth of Jesus, but their fear of people was greater than their fear of God. This is still so true today. There have been those times I have willingly ignored/denied Jesus because I was afraid of how my friends would view me. But, I am reminded of Hebrews 12:1-3. A life led by Jesus is a life of enduring the race set before me, including overcoming the hurdles of social pressure. I can look to Jesus' final words on the cross as inspiration: "It is finished." Jesus had finished the race set before Him, and like any racer crossing the finish line, He had that joy and satisfaction of knowing His work was good and complete. In the same way, I need to run with my eyes set on Jesus, especially when the hurdles in life seem too daunting to overcome. Jesus endured mockery and rejection from Romans, Jews, and even his disciples, all for God's will. I can be confident that with my eyes on Jesus, He will help me confront and conquer my fears of social pressure.