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Its titled girl talk but it's a good video for both genders! A must watch!

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Its titled girl talk but it's a good video for both genders! A must watch!

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You need your parents guidance what your parents show you and gives you as a child you will take away from these lessons to help guide you to be independent. Your parents have helped you and if you are a college student hopefully you can relate:)

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GIRL TALK: Being independent, Saving money, Moving out of your parents house

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GIRL TALK WITH JAYLA is a new series on my channel. In each episode I will be in my pajamas just talking about topics I feel like girls want to be talked about. If you don't agree with something I say, thats okay, its okay to disagree.

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Tips! A good read!

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As a young person entering into college life, you are probably having many thoughts about what lies ahead and feeling excited about this fresh start. Your parents are excited too, and probably nervous that their teenage child is now moving into adulthood. They may have had successful college years, or perhaps, they are seeing a dream they had for their own education realized, as you enter into college. Their feelings and expectations, when combined with your own, are a part of a transformation that can be both exciting and terrifying.

Young adulthood is already a time of transition that usually includes establishing a new identity and managing new emotions. Going to college presents even more change during this time, and that will require you to have a stronger ability to adapt. Moving into a new environment and meeting new people means leaving everything that's familiar. The past may have been great-something that's hard to leave behind; or maybe it was more difficult, you struggled just to get through, and what you're facing may be a welcome change. Regardless of your experience, what's happening now is a loss; a loss of your adolescence, of a time in which your family and friends provided a pretty reliable safety net when you needed it.

What often aren't addressed are the common fears, the nerves, and anxieties, that often surface while trying to figure out a new way to establish yourself in a new environment. It's important to acknowledge that these struggles and new emotions can occur naturally in this stage of life. It's normal for young adults to feel stress at this time. Stressors, such as figuring out new living arrangements, redefining your role in your parent's home, managing finances, long distance relationships, breakups, or how to add or drop a class can mean extra demands that you may not have been prepared for. Adapting to changes, learning new coping mechanisms, or revisiting some familiar ones are all important strategies that can help you feel grounded.

The following are a few tips to help maintain some sense of normalcy and maybe gain a little relief while adjusting to the changes that are natural in this stage of life.

1. Good time management is important! It's time to start putting it into practice, if you haven't yet. By having an organized schedule, you can stay on track of your priorities and tackle each day in a proactive fashion.

2. Implement a routine of healthy habits. You can't succeed if you don't stay healthy! Tight budgets, new parties, a heavy caseload, and late night snacks, can wreak havoc on healthy habits. Preventing illness, and having a healthy routine can help you keep some balance in your new environment.

3. Ask for help. Sometimes it's not clear where to go, or maybe it's embarrassing to ask. Identify the fear and recognize that it may be holding you back from getting good information. Then you can find out who has the answers, or at least where you can go for some direction. Once you ask, you can move through the fear and move forward. Your college is full of resources, such as counselors, mentors, and other advocates. Don't hesitate to ask your parents, teachers, or new friends at school for some assistance. Remember: at some point, everyone needs help with something. None of us can do it alone!

4. A social outlet may bring many great benefits. Getting into campus life will help you learn your way around and build a support system. Being able to have friends to turn to in tough times is important. It's also great to have them in times of celebration. Having fun with friends stimulates healthy hormones that can help you feel better emotionally and physically; so join a club, play intramural sports, or start another new activity that will inspire new friendships.

5. Remember your safety net. Returning home on weekends or vacations to get "refueled" can give you a short break and allow you to return refreshed. A home environment that makes you feel safe and that's familiar can be very comforting, and may give you just what you need to make it through the end of a tough semester.

6. Take time to relax and enjoy yourself. Staying present and in the moment can help you appreciate and recognize what is going on around you. Slowing down and being mindful is important for you to stay healthy and create a successful college experience.

The start of your college experience can be complicated, but it's also an opportunity to get your feet wet as you're branching out into the adult world. Using healthy coping skills and building a support system will get you through the tough spots. As you become more familiar with your new life, being able to trust yourself to manage what's ahead, and find enjoyment in it, will help this transition be a fun and successful one.

© Copyright 2010 by Danielle Organista, LMFT, therapist in Seal Beach, California. All Rights Reserved. Permission to publish granted to GoodTherapy.org.

The preceding article was solely written by the author named above. Any views and opinions expressed are not necessarily shared by GoodTherapy.org. Questions or concerns about the preceding article can be directed to the author or posted as a comment below.

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Conquering College: Tips for Adjusting to College Life

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As a young person entering into college life, you are probably having many thoughts about what lies ahead and feeling excited about this fresh start. Your parents are excited too, and probably nervous that their teenage child is now moving into adulthood.

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Another article that goes to support new ideas.

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Another article that goes to support new ideas.

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"When you’re young, you think once you hit the magical age of, say, 18 or 21, you automatically become an adult, with adult ideas, responsibilities, and respect.Unfortunately, it’s not that easy. There’s no magical age at which you cease to feel like a child and begin to feel all grown up. I sort of suspect that even when I’m in my thirties and forties I’ll still feel some of the same insecurities and childishness I did when I was twelve".- Annika
This article goes to show there isn't a certain age you become independent which is one new idea I have now from doing this topic this semester. It also has great tips on how to work towards being independent.

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Check out this article that reveals actually how some college students and all actual colleges display the fact on if we need our parents or not. Their theory is that some are mature enough to not need their parents but some are not and still needs that helping hand from their parents. Please Read! Express your thoughts on this theory. As for me I do believe you still need your parents in college at least the first year because you are fresh and even if its not your first year where have you gotten your guidance from to begin with? Your parents are your first teachers they give you the knowledge you need to survive and get out there or your own. It's just up to us to get up and take advantage of what we already know to go and be INDEPENDENT!

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Colleges and new high school graduates have what I think is a strange idea. They think every freshman is an adult who can make his or her own decisions. Students think going off to college is a declaration of independence. Colleges, by law and by inclination, don't involve parents in their children's academic progress and won't give out any information.

Sometimes this is fine. When a student is mature, motivated, self-directed and responsible, he can be expected to make good choices, to learn from mistakes, and to use his time, money, and mind well. Sometimes the system even makes sense. When a student is footing the bill entirely by herself and is truly on her own, involvement from parents is disrespectful of the privacy she has earned.

But then there are the other kids - probably most kids. College is being underwritten by parents' hard-earned cash, loans in both the parents' and the students' names, and student summer earnings. The student has uneven skills in managing time, money, and responsibilities. High school success was partly the result of parental monitoring and intervention. Students who are a little less mature than peers have needed some external structure like curfews and consequences for not getting things done; praise and reward for doing what they are supposed to do.

For students like these, it's unlikely that the summer between high school graduation and the beginning of college has meant a magical transformation. Yes, some kids do have an enormous growth spurt of maturity. But most of the later bloomers, whatever the reason, need a longer period of parental guidance if they are to do well during that all-important freshman year. Without it, they are likely to be among the one third to one half of entering students who don't become sophomores.

If your student's maturity doesn't match most colleges' expectations, the best way to avoid disappointment, anger, and tears is to call the first year of college for a late bloomer what it is: a family project. The goal is to get your student headed toward a college degree. The means to that goal is a gradual letting go, not a jump off a cliff.

Steps Toward College Student Independence

1. Make college a decision, not an assumption. Not every student is ready for college right after high school. There is no shame in taking a year or so to work, to travel, or to participate in a gap year program as a way to gain a little more maturity and autonomy. (See Are You Ready for College? Alternatives for the Unsure.) Have a clear discussion with your child about your concerns about readiness. Do listen. Your child may be more self-aware than you think.

2. Consider starting with a community college or a half-time load. Your immature student may need time to acclimate before taking on responsibilities for both college-level work and living on her own. One way to soften the transition is to live at home for a semester while starting college classes. Another is to have a reduced course load for the first semester, in recognition that a successful adjustment is as important as a couple of classes.

3. Make the financial realities and consequences clear. Make sure your student knows exactly how much college costs and where the money is coming from. Set reasonable expectations for the student's proportion of the bill to be paid for by loans and summer jobs. Talk about whether the student feels ready to take on the responsibility of using this amount of money wisely. If you are spending anywhere from $10,000 to $50,000 a year, is your student prepared to put in $10,000 - $50,000 worth of effort? What grade point average do you all agree is reasonable to expect for that investment? What will be the financial consequences if your student doesn't meet those expectations? Often when confronted with these realities, students respond with a better assessment of what they are ready to do.

4. Talk to your student about when you should be notified that she needs more help. Your student needs the room to make mistakes and recover on her own. But you need to know if she is slipping to the point that recovery will be too challenging. Consider negotiating that when a course grade is a C- or below after the midterm you will be called. Write a letter together to the dean of students asking for that notification and submit it with a release of information (see #5). Work together to define what kind of help is likely to be helpful.

5. Make sure your student signs a release of information. Colleges will give parents no information about grades, progress, health issues, triumphs, or problems without a release of information signed by your student. Obtain the release form from the school, have your student sign it, and file it with the Dean of Students office.

6. If your student refuses to sign a release of information, you need to talk. The purpose of the release is not to enable parents to hover but to make it possible to catch lapses before they seriously jeopardize a respectable showing for the semester. Come to agreement about what is and isn't parental business. It will probably make both you and your student more comfortable if you limit what you ask the college to tell you to academic progress and serious violations of campus policies. Bottom line: No release, no financial help.

7. Talk about what new freedoms will come with demonstrated maturity. Keep in mind that the purpose of this project is to gradually transfer control and choices from parent to student. Set meaningful, clear, intermediate goals where successes reflect your student's growing competence and win your growing confidence in his or her ability to manage the demands of college wisely.

8. Negotiate clear consequences for poor grades or poor behavior. If your student fails to meet the grades and standards of behavior you expect during the first semester, what do you agree should be the consequences? Perhaps your student needs more time to grow up before attempting college. Maybe a transfer to a less demanding school or a school closer to home is warranted.

9. Make a clear contract and write it down. Having talked these points through and made agreements, write it down. Putting a contract on paper makes it more real. Signing it makes it a commitment. You can both refer to the contract as a point of reference if issues arise.

Glider parenting

Recent media stories have talked dismissively about "helicopter parents," defining all parents who are involved with their college students' lives as hovering parents who just can't let go. I'm sure there are some parents like that. But my experience with concerned parents is that they usually have something to be concerned about. In such cases, I think a better metaphor is the relationship of a tug aircraft to a glider. The tug gets the glider into the air with a towline and lets go once it is sure the glider has enough lift to keep going on its own. The success of both is when the glider is sailing free.

Ready or Not: Immature But Headed to College

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Ready or Not: Immature But Headed to College

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Colleges and new high school graduates have what I think is a strange idea. They think every freshman is an adult who can make his or her own decisions. Students think going off to college is a declaration of independence. Colleges, by law and by inclination, don't involve parents in their children's academic progress and won't give out any information.

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Do it at your own pace though don't rush it its a journey and it's your journey! Even by it being your journey its more than likely the journey your parents lead you to! Trust our parents know what they are doing when they talk to us well at least those that are fortunate to have their parents to guide them. It is not always a parent but you get that strive and motivation from somewhere or someone that you are watching or has took it upon themselves to guide you maybe a guardian but its someone. That's what's ironic about being independent. Yes, of course its you becoming an adult and being on your own but you are guided with some sort of back bone help to get you to that point. once your at that point your alone and doing well hopefully but until you get there your are not on your own.

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"The start of becoming an independent adult is havening enough confidence to make your own decisions but also being aware that you can still have a helping hand. Independence coms from your upbringing rather than yourself or age! "- Amarre Rhyne

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We need to think about being independent a little bit deeper

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We need to think about being independent a little bit deeper

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WE ALWAYS need OUR PARENTS!!!!