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The Giver loved Rosemary as he loves Jonas. After five weeks, the Giver began giving Rosemary some difficult memories. While he tried to balance out the negative emotions with happy ones, Rosemary could not take the misery. She asked for release.

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Here is a link to a document where I copied what I wrote on here - https://docs.google.com/document/d/1cI6XvLHiF2SneEzKLhpkdOPOdgRREW56tTK3zTtbNa8/edit

The session began unusually, Jonas had asked quite a few questions about Rosemary, the former Receiver in training, my friend. He had heard the gossip around the community of Rosemary apply for release. When Jonas concluded that Rosemary wasn't brave enough to take on the responsibility of Reciever, something inside of me broke off of my whole. By the time Jonas was finished asking questions, I felt like an Ancient Greek ruler of the cosmos, chopped into a million pieces. Jonas finished off with an apology, explaining why he was only asking so many questions today, was because Jonas's father was releasing a newchild. One of two twins. I winced. "I wish they wouldn't do that," I muttered to myself. But of course, Jonas had heard. He gave me a confused. I paused for a moment, wondering what it was like to have such young and naive ears again. Jonas gave out a slight chuckle and made a small remark on the confusion it would cause. "I wish I could watch," Jonas said, no longer smiling. I gave it thought. Was he ready? I silently thought to myself. Finally, I concluded it would have to be done sooner or later. But it wasn't out of the goodness of my heart. I wanted to prove to Jonas that Rosemary had been brave. The way I watched her on a small black screen, killing herself. After that day I was never the same, but determined to defend Rosemary, I replied to his rhetorical comment. "You can watch," I said. But Jonas argued and said children weren't allowed to watch. But he wasn't a regular child. He was to be the next Receiver of Memory. I could tell he wasn't sure if he should be watching something so private. But I reminded him that when he was Receiver of Memory, he had access to everything. Finally, he complied as I urged him on. I walked to the microphone button and turned the switch from 'off to 'on'. A voice spoke immediately asking me what I needed. Sometimes I felt uncomfortable with this amount of attention and respect, but I've learned to get used to it. "I would like to see this morning's release of the twin." There was a pause, then I heard the voice again. "One moment, Receiver. Thank you for your instructions," the voice replied. The black screen above the switches flickered, then an image appeared on the screen. I couldn't watch another release, they left me scarred far worse than any memory I could think of at the moment. "That's my Father," Jonas said. Throughout the entire recording, Jonas kept making statements and asking questions. He didn't understand what was going on, at least not yet. "Watch," I commanded him repeatedly. I was trying very hard to tune the video out. I had seen more than enough deaths to last a lifetime, but I heard Jonas's father say "All done. That wasn't so bad was it?" Jonas stared blankly at the screen. For a moment I wondered if he had been released himself. But then he hesitantly turned around to face me as if one false move would tip the balance of the universe. Which I thought might not have been too bad, because the people here are so selfish. That made me remember the way I had been selfish, partly wanting Jonas to understand release so I could prove to him that Rosemary was indeed brave. But one look at Jonas's face almost made me change my mind. His face was blotted with tears, his own dad, killing an innocent newchild. I waited for him to say something, but he never did. "You suggested Jonas, that she wasn't brave enough? I commented bitterly.

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I was hoping to give Jonas a good memory today, but he started asking questions about the release immediately. His questions made me nervous knowing the dark secret of freedom, and knowing he had no idea about it, I even contemplated release with all these memories, but I can't bear to listen to him when he asks me about the previous recipient.I hate giving memories of Jonas, but what he chose and it's my responsibility to give memories of hime as I placed my hand on his back to give him

the memory and see him suffer after I gave him the memory he wined in pain and asked for a rilever of pain, but I said no quickly and walk away.

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i was thinking about giving Jonas some memories,bad memories

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Today I was planning on giving Jonas a good memory, but he immediately started asking questions about release. His questions made me uncomfortable knowing the dark secret of release, and knowing he had no clue about it, With all these memories I have even considered release, But I can't bear to listen to him when he asks me about the previous receiver.My daughter Rosemary who released herself. I answer him until he asks to see the release of a pair of twins that happened this morning. He seems appalled at the fact he could watch a release. I am ashamed that I have to show it to him, but i cannot bear seeing him so clueless. He kept commenting until he saw the truth about how "releases" was just common killing. I can see his jaw drop as I watch from the side, sadder than I could ever be.

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today was a happy day for me because today i gave jonas the memory the "christmas"  and the "grandparents" when he returned from lt i saw the warm happy feeling on his warm happy face "what where those old people" he asked and so i said  "grandparents" "grandparents?" he replied confused  "parents of the parents" it was so cute to see hi little face when he realized parents could have parents

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Jonas agreed for me to transmit memories, but I always hated giving him the bad ones and this is the only way for him to learn. "Sorry"

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i hate giving jonas memories but he what chosen and its my job to give hime memories as i put my hand on his back to give him the memory and see him suffer after i gave him the memory he wined in pain and asked for a pain rilever but i quickly said no and walk away

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(I cannot edit the other one)

Towards the afternoon I was in a lot of pain, and I knew I had to give some to Jonas, for my satisfaction. That evening when Jonas arrived, I placed my hands on his back and gave him a horrible memory of twisting and breaking his leg. I regretted what I did immediately, but knew it had to be done. When Jonas asked for a Release of Pain, I felt incredibly guilty, quickly said no, and turned my head so I faced the other way. When I got ready for bed that night, I couldn’t sleep. I tossed and turned all night. He swore that he would end everyday with a happy memory, as a tear rolled down his face.

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I am finally felling good about this because i am transmitting  another memory it is a good memory it is about Christmas and grandparents and hopefully he likes it  and i cannot wait to see the look on his face when i transmit it and he see it .here he comes i said hi and he replied 'hi' .i am so excited for you to see this memory .

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I could never bear looking him in the eye. I could never forgive myself for transmitting these memories to him. I can't forgive myself for feeling a sense of relief whenever I do. My hands reach his back.. The war zone, I could hardly bear it myself- What is a 12 year old suppose to do with it? Though my hand is already on his back, there isn't much to do but to wait for his reaction. It goes through him, the pain. The pain I've had to endure. The memory fades from my mind, the screams go quieter... But it'd only get louder for Jonas. He's back to his senses... Away from the dreadful memory- Deep inside, I know he isn't away from it. It'd be on his mind for days, weeks.. Or even more. He looks at me. All that I could find to say is

"Forgive me."

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I  always hated transmitting bad and hurtful memories to Jonas.I couldn’t bear to see Jonas in pain I dreaded doing it but it had to be done.How will he ever learn? I  thought.As I  placed his hand on Jonas back; I  took a deep breath.I  first sees Jonas’ little innocent face gleam as his smile grows bigger by the minute Though that happiness and delight expression on Jonas face slowly turns into a pained confused and frightned expression. I  continues to watch Jonas carefully soon I  hears Jonas scream his heart drops I  stands there watching Jonas cry and sob holding his legs his face wet and red with tears I  takes a shaky breath Then Jonas sits up up shaking sobbing ,As Jonas asks with his red and pained face “Can I have relief of pain” But  I  knew I couldn’t give it to him I shook my head no and turned away a tear rolls down my cheek but I  quickly wipes it away.Seeing Jonas react like that seeing him in pain It reminded mw of those early days receiving the painful memories I had seen himself in Jonas as he reacted. But I knew that I had to be strong of course for Jonas it wouldn’t be easy there would be more to come but it was for the best there’s no other way for him to truly gain and acknowledge the memories without experiencing them even though it may cause lots of pain. After all its part of being human to experience  all of these emotions pain ,sadness ,greif lost it helps us be more empathetic to ourselves deep down. I always thought that the community as much as all of the stuff they did removing stuff was to help and protect everyone they were actually damaging everyone by burdening them not allowing themselves to get hurt or to have freedom.But I  always kept that to himslef.

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Today was a very hard day for me, and Jonas. When he walks into the room I tell him that I will be transmitting another memory of going downhill on a sled. His face lights up and I just feel myself shrivel up inside. He lays down and closes his eyes as always and I place my hand on his back. At first he has a calm smile on his face but it soon turns into a face of fear. Glistening beads of tears started to roll unto his cheeks and I could feel small tremors vibrating through his body. I watched in horror as he shot strait up and wrapped his hands around his knees cradling himself. He looked up at through teary eyes and pleaded for a relief of pain. I simply looked away and said no. I knew how hard it was but he had to follow the rules. I knew the feeling of always being alone and having to keep it all to yourself. The days kept on going, each harder than the last. To try and sooth Jonas the best I can I would transmit a memory of a boat sailing on a lake in the sunset. The emotional pain that it caused me was horrible, but I had to be strong. Just like Jonas was being.

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One day Jonas came into my room, just as he always did. That day he had some unusual questions and wonderings though, ones that I didn't know how to answer. He was asking about releases and the last receiver. Although I did not want to burden him with the terrible memories that he was curious about, I knew I needed to answer his questions. First I told him the name of the last receiver, Rosemary. I told him how the negative memories destroyed her, and how one day she left and didn't come back. After seeing the confused look in Jonas' face and then the way that his eyes seemed to say "I don't understand why people speak of this so horribly", I knew I had to go on. He had brought up a release of a twin that his father had mentioned to him and I knew how much his father must have mis represented it to Jonas. When Jonas told me about this a few words escaped from me, although I wish they didn't. "I wish they wouldn't do that" I said. I knew from the way Jonas reacted, that I needed to show him what really happens. I led him over to the microphone and took a breath.

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Towards the afternoon, the giver was in a lot of pain, and he knew he had to give some to Jonas, for his satisfactions. That evening, when Jonas arrived, he placed his hands on Jonas's back and gave him a memory of breaking a leg. He regretted what he did almost immediately, but he knew it had to be done. When Jonas asked for a Release-Of-pain pill, he felt guilty, quickly said no, and turned his head facing the other way. When he got ready for bed, he couldn't'. He tossed and turned all night. He then swore that he would end each day for Jonas with A happy memory.