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I am physically healthy because I take long showers.

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Four Surprising Benefits of Your Daily ShowerwellnessworkdaysMental HealthMental Health

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Showers are helpful for more than just personal hygiene. Showers can help with things like increasing your energy and boosting your mood.

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I am physically healthy by drinking a lot of water.

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I can improve my physical health by eating healthy foods.

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I am friendly.

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I am empathetic.

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Mike Robbins | Infusing Life and Business with Authenticity and Appreciation

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As an executive coach and consultant, my clients often ask me why empathy is so important.

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines empathy as:

The action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another of either the past or present without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit manner.

Do you know why empathy is important, or what it is?

Here is Why Empathy is Important

Empathy is one of the most important aspects of creating strong relationships, reducing stress, and enhancing emotional awareness - yet it can be tricky at times.

For example, how can you be empathetic towards people you may not necessarily agree with?

I consider myself to be an empathetic person, but I notice that with certain people and in particular situations, my natural ability and desire to empathize can be diminished or almost non-existent, especially these days.

But there are so many benefits to empathy that most people aren't even aware of. For example, I also notice that when I feel empathy for others and for myself, I feel a sense of peace, connection, and perspective that I like. And, when there is an absence of empathy in a particular relationship, situation, or in how I'm relating to myself, I often experience stress, disconnection, and negativity.

Can you relate?

Never underestimate the power of empathy.

But what is empathy anyway?

It's important to understand that empathy is not sympathy.

When we're sympathetic, we often pity someone else but maintain our distance (physically, mentally, and emotionally) from their feelings or experience.

Empathy is more a sense that we can truly understand, relate to, or imagine the depth of another person's emotional state or situation.

It implies feeling with a person, rather than feeling sorry for a person.

Empathy is a translation of the German term Einfühlung, meaning "to feel as one with." It implies sharing the load, or "walking a mile in someone else's shoes," in order to understand that person's perspective.

The Benefits of Empathy

Another reason why empathy is so important is that it's one of the best ways we can enhance our relationships, reduce our stress levels, and feel good about ourselves and our lives in an authentic way. Here are a few more benefits of empathy:

Benefits your health (less stress and less negativity which leads people to be in better shape with stronger immune systems)

Leads to a happier life

Improves communications skills

Leads to teamwork

Creates a healthy work environment

Transcends personal relationships

Decreases negativity

Why Do People Lack Empathy?

There are a number of things that get in the way of us utilizing and experiencing the power of empathy. Three of the main ones, which are all interrelated, are as follows:

1. Feeling Threatened

We often feel "threatened" based on our own fears, projections, and past experiences - not by what is actually happening in the moment or in a particular relationship or situation. Whether the threat is "real" or "imagined," when we feel threatened in any way, it often shuts down our ability to experience empathy.

2. Being Judgmental

Being judgmental is a totally different game than making value judgments (what to wear, what to eat, what to say, etc.).

When we're judgmental, we decide that we're "right" and someone else is "wrong." Doing this hurts us and others and it cuts us off from those around us. When we're being judgmental about another person, group of people, or situation, we significantly diminish our capacity to be empathetic.

3. Fear

Can you guess the root of all of this?

It's our fear.

There's nothing inherently wrong with fear, it's a natural human emotion - which, in fact, has many positive aspects to it, if we're willing to admit it, own it, express it, and move through it. Fear saves our lives and keeps us out of trouble all the time.

The issue with fear is our denial of it. We deem things, people, or situations to be "scary," when in truth there is nothing in life that is inherently "scary." When we allow ourselves to be motivated by fear - which often leads to us defending ourselves against "threats," being judgmental, and more - it becomes difficult, if not impossible, to access the power of empathy.

On my podcast, I often talk about the importance of embracing our emotions. The more willing we are to look at our fear, acknowledge it, embrace it, own it, and take responsibility for it, the more able we are to expand our capacity for empathy.

Signs That Someone Lacks Empathy

Here are some signs that someone lacks empathy.

Highly critical of others

Unable to control emotions

Unaware of other people's feelings

Accuses people of being overly sensitive

Overreacts to small things

Won't admit when wrong

Behaves insensitively

Has trouble maintaining relationships

Can't handle uncomfortable situations

Sees perceived slights everywhere

The reason why empathy is so important is that it helps us better understand how others are feeling, and even feel it in ourselves. It helps us maintain relationships and plays a role in dictating our success in both personal and professional relationships.

A lack of empathy can also be a trait of personality disorders like narcissism or antisocial personality disorder.

People may lack empathy due to the environment they were raised in. They may have grown up with parents who could not regulate their emotions and showed very little compassion towards them. They may have also experienced difficult situations in life that caused them to lack empathy and behave the way they do.

How to Become More Empathetic

Here are a few things you can do and think about to become more empathetic:

1. Be Real About How You Feel

When we're in a conflict with another person or dealing with someone or something that's challenging for us, being able to admit, own, and express our fear, insecurity, sadness, anger, jealousy, or whatever other "negative" emotions we are experiencing, is one of the best ways for us to move past our defensiveness and authentically address the deeper issues of the situation.

Doing this allows us to access empathy for ourselves, the other person or people involved, and even the circumstances of the conflict or challenge itself. Check out this blog post for tips on how to resolve conflict.

2. Imagine What It's Like For Them

While it can sometimes be difficult for us to "understand" another person's perspective or situation, being able to imagine what it must be like for them is an essential aspect of empathy.

The more willing we are to imagine what it's like for them, the more compassion, understanding, and empathy we'll be able to experience.

In today's uncertain political climate and the many stresses that come with a pandemic, it is more important now than ever before to use compassion every day. You can learn more about the importance of compassion here.

My most recent book, We're All in This Together, helps leaders become more compassionate with their team members by giving them a roadmap for building trust, collaborating, and operating at a peak level. Learn more about the book here.

3. Forgive Yourself and Others

In another one of my books, Nothing Changes Until You Do, I talk about the complicated relationship we all have with ourselves and the struggle many of us have to be kind, compassionate, and loving towards ourselves. Forgiveness is one of the most important things we can do in life to heal ourselves, let go of negativity, and live a life of peace and fulfillment. Forgiveness has to first start with us.

I believe that all judgment is self-judgment. When we forgive ourselves, we create the conditions and perspective to forgive others.

Forgiveness is one of the many important aspects of life that is often easier said than done. It is something we need to learn about and practice all the time.

One of the best books you can read on this subject is called Forgive For Good, written by my friend and mentor Dr. Fred Luskin, one of the world's leading experts and teachers about the power of forgiveness. This book gives you practical and tangible techniques you can use to forgive anyone and anything.

The more willing we are to forgive ourselves and others (and continue to practice this in an ongoing way), the more able we'll be to empathize authentically.

Questions to Ask Yourself:

1. How empathetic are you?

2. What can you do to enhance your capacity for empathy?

3. How would an increased ability to empathize with others (and yourself) impact your life and relationships?

4. Where in your life and relationships can you see that feeling threatened, being judgmental, and experiencing fear stop you from being empathetic?

Share your thoughts, ideas, insights, and more in the comments section below.
I have written five books about, among other things, the importance of empathy, authenticity, and appreciation. I deliver keynotes and seminars (both in-person and virtually) that empower people, leaders, and teams to grow, connect, and perform their best. As an expert in teamwork, leadership, and emotional intelligence, I teach techniques that allow people and organizations to be more engaged and effective. Find out more about how I can help you and your team achieve your goals today. This article was originally published on October 13, 2010, and has been updated for 2021.

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Why Empathy is Important: How to Become More Empathetic

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The reason why empathy is important is that it helps people better understand how others are feeling, and even feel it in themselves.

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I am hardworking.

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I got honor role all 6th and 7th grade.

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Students at the top of the academic heap should challenge what’s normally taken for granted, a parent argues.

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I have a special relationship with my dad.

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I have a special relationship with my brothers.

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I have a special relationship with my aunt.

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I enjoy sketching/drawing.

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I enjoy making origami.

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I enjoy getting Starbucks.

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One stressor of mine is when i misplace things.

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The Psychology Behind Losing Personal Items

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Explore the psychology behind losing personal items, from distracted minds to aging, and learn practical tips for better organization.

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Another way I relieve stress is I take deep breaths.

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The term "fight or flight" is also known as the stress response. It's what the body does as it prepares to confront or avoid danger. When appropriately invoked, the stress response helps us rise to many challenges. But trouble starts when this response is constantly provoked by less momentous, day-to-day events, such as money woes, traffic jams, job worries, or relationship problems.

Health problems are one result. A prime example is high blood pressure, a major risk factor for heart disease. The stress response also suppresses the immune system, increasing susceptibility to colds and other illnesses. Moreover, the buildup of stress can contribute to anxiety and depression. We can't avoid all sources of stress in our lives, nor would we want to. But we can develop healthier ways of responding to them. One way is to invoke the relaxation response, through a technique first developed in the 1970s at Harvard Medical School by cardiologist Dr. Herbert Benson. The relaxation response is a state of profound rest that can be elicited in many ways, including meditation, yoga, and progressive muscle relaxation.

Breath focus is a common feature of several techniques that evoke the relaxation response. The first step is learning to breathe deeply.

Deep breathing benefits

Deep breathing also goes by the names of diaphragmatic breathing, abdominal breathing, belly breathing, and paced respiration. When you breathe deeply, the air coming in through your nose fully fills your lungs, and the lower belly rises.

For many of us, deep breathing seems unnatural. There are several reasons for this. For one, body image has a negative impact on respiration in our culture. A flat stomach is considered attractive, so women (and men) tend to hold in their stomach muscles. This interferes with deep breathing and gradually makes shallow "chest breathing" seem normal, which increases tension and anxiety.

Shallow breathing limits the diaphragm's range of motion. The lowest part of the lungs doesn't get a full share of oxygenated air. That can make you feel short of breath and anxious.

Deep abdominal breathing encourages full oxygen exchange - that is, the beneficial trade of incoming oxygen for outgoing carbon dioxide. Not surprisingly, it can slow the heartbeat and lower or stabilize blood pressure.

Practicing breath focus

Breath focus helps you concentrate on slow, deep breathing and aids you in disengaging from distracting thoughts and sensations. It's especially helpful if you tend to hold in your stomach.

First steps. Find a quiet, comfortable place to sit or lie down. First, take a normal breath. Then try a deep breath: Breathe in slowly through your nose, allowing your chest and lower belly to rise as you fill your lungs. Let your abdomen expand fully. Now breathe out slowly through your mouth (or your nose, if that feels more natural).

Breath focus in practice. Once you've taken the steps above, you can move on to regular practice of controlled breathing. As you sit comfortably with your eyes closed, blend deep breathing with helpful imagery and perhaps a focus word or phrase that helps you relax.

Ways to elicit the relaxation response

Several techniques can help you turn down your response to stress. Breath focus helps with nearly all of them:

Creating a routine

You may want to try several different relaxation techniques to see which one works best for you. And if your favorite approach fails to engage you, or you want some variety, you'll have alternatives. You may also find the following tips helpful:

Choose a special place where you can sit (or lie down) comfortably and quietly.

Don't try too hard. That may just cause you to tense up.

Don't be too passive, either. The key to eliciting the relaxation response lies in shifting your focus from stressors to deeper, calmer rhythms - and having a focal point is essential.

Try to practice once or twice a day, always at the same time, in order to enhance the sense of ritual and establish a habit.

Try to practice at least 10-20 minutes each day.

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Relaxation techniques: Breath control helps quell errant stress response - Harvard Health

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Relaxation techniques - such as deep breathing - can help control stress and the "fight or flight" response that can interfere with everyday life....

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I can improve my physical health by not being lazy.

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I look up to my mom because she is really forgiving and accepting, and strong.

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One way I relieve stress is playing games on my iPad.

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I can improve my mental health by going outside more.

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Another one of my personal stressors are my grades.