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As I decided to engage with a material, the block of clay called to me. As mentioned in Pacini-Ketchabaw et al. (2016) "Materials beckon and pulls us in ..... gesture, and calls to us"(p. 1), this block of clay, drew me closer not because I knew what I was doing but because I didn't.

This big block of Clay piqued my curiosity, and I began to wonder about all the possibilities. I had never played with clay before, not even as a child. This intimidated me but at the same time invited me to explore and tune into the essence of clay.

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When I hear the word clay my mind goes to playdough but when I was told I needed to work with clay from the earth. I began to wonder: where this is from? what's its origin, how many people did it take? how many hands have touched this clay. And as I see this block of clay smooth, cold and firm; it refuses to break under pressure. "Clay makes plenty of demands" (Pacini-Ketchabaw et al., 2016, p.56) that's exactly why I dint give up.

When I tried to cut the clay with a wire, I realised how much effort it really took. Only yesterday I learnt that there is a tool called a clay cutter, and I tried to use it. I realised How much effort it needed. Eventually I gave in and took matters into my own hands(literally) and used all my might to pull out a chunk.

Thought on mind: Thank God I was able to take a chunk out.

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Leaves, sticks, wood, cloves, star anise, gum nuts, flowers, pebbles (Big), pebbles (Small), Seeds, Pinecone, Cups, water, lighter, candle.

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These objects called to me, I wasn't sure how I would use them, Pacini-Ketchabaw et al. (2016) explains, materials need to be treated as active and participatory, they get thoughts started, help us ask questions and frame ideas, they present themselves as valuable moments.

This exactly what I hoped to see when they interacted with clay.

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I was unable to work with the big chunk and decided to cut them into smaller blobs to see how the same clay acts in different conditions. "Clay acts/demands/lives differently in the atrium, river, and forest, thus each clay ecology “obliges us to think through"(Stengers et al., 2009, as cited in Pacini-Ketchabaw et al., 2016, p.58) which made me wonder, how the characteristics of clay would change.

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While I questioned my decisions of working with clay, especially when I wasn't feeling strong enough to mould or roll them with my hands. A smaller piece of clay looked more promising and gave me the comfort I needed. Hence, I started with the basics of bread making, rolled, dabbed, and pressed them, which made it a little easier for me using tactile knowledge which made my interaction with clay a lot better.

I poked, and squashed it, took random things from my table and enjoyed the experimentation, I decided to imprint things, some didn't make a difference while some made beautiful designs that made me aware of the different textures, and which objects better suited for making them. Pacini-ketchabaw et al. (2016) said it better "Clay transforms itself over and over as it comes into friction with things and with us. Clay never stays the same."(p.60). And I intended not only to manipulate the clay but to let it talk and inspired me.

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At first, I played with the clay superficially, flattened it and made patterns on it, I unknowingly realised that I imprinted my hands on the clay. I wanted to try something different, so I started to place random items inside the clay, to make it more personal, I put in spices, seeds and other things. The clay which had no smell at first had borrowed the smell of the spices and started to feel alive; it started to create memories to cherish and remember in the future.

Pacini-Ketchabaw et. (2016) describes the act beautifully when the teacher helps the children "fold in memories of a dry pine needles into the cold clay"(p.63). The clay was no longer just earth but an archive of our memories together. These attachments transformed both the clay and me.

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As my friends and I spoke in our 100 languages, one of them while painting with her fingers said, "I really want to drink my milkshake, but I can't until I finish this."

The word "shake" seemed to have caught my attention, and I just started to grab everything on my table and put them in my cup along with clay wondering what the clay would attach itself to if I shook it, what would it accept and what it would reject?

This reminded me of a line I read, "clay becomes a multispecies event, where it chooses to entangle or not with other living and non-living things" (Maria Puig de la Bellacasa,2015, as cited in Pacini-Ketchabaw et al.,2016, p.62). It surprises me how my environment can influence a playful curiosity.

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As I moved to the clay soaked in water, I noticed that the colour of the water was changed to brown; the texture of the clay became slippery; I squished it between my fingers which was oddly satisfying. The clay broke apart so easily, but the chillness of the clay remained.

As Pacini-Ketchabaw et al. (2016) says "Clay weeps, collapse, melts.."(p.56), that's exactly what I felt when I played with it. Just as water is essential to us, so it is for the clay as well. At that moment I felt I had tamed the clay.

As I continued to play with the clay off camera, I noticed others playing with paint and charcoal. I said to myself that "I want to paint as well". Hence, I picked up pebbles and paper cups and smeared them with clay, I left my fingerprints on whatever I could find. The Clay was my paint, and the world was my canvas.

Pelo (2016) says clay softens with the help of water it makes the clay slippery melting into a mud puddle. I thought to myself that this is what it would feel to play by the riverbank.

Familiarizing myself with the wet soft clay, squishy and sticky, I started to use them as a glue to stick it everywhere. This wasn't just messy, it was a time of reflection.

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Play with clay and fire, and the clay forgotten

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Play with clay and fire, and the clay forgotten

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While I witnessed how clay reacts with different ecologies, I wanted to see how clay reacted to heat. "Safety first" I said and stuck a stick to the clay so that it's easier to burn without burning my hand in the process, and when clay burned it smelt so good like real earth after the first rain, it got soft, not as soft as the one soaked in water but made it easier to interact with clay without getting messy.

I also revisited the clay I had left outside in the Sun. To my surprise even after 3 hours it didn't heat up, it was cold as ice with no visible changes. Probably the Country interacted with it, but it was unknown to me.

"We think about clays demands when we it responds to our movements as we work with it when it refuses to stay still in one shape" (Pacini-Ketchabaw et al., 2016)

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As I ended my play, I realised the experience didn't end in class, I reached home to realise the clay was smeared on my book, my clothes and still on my hands. I could still feel the clay's presence emotionally. It felt like a part of me, reminding me of the famous quote from the Bible "for dust you are, and dust you will return"

Pacini-Ketchabaw ended by saying "Clay is able to slow things down in the studio. It invites the children to follow its unexpected movements as it interacts with shoes, with pockets, with canvas, with floor, with hands, with mittens, with air." (p.65)

My hands were still cold from the water play. I felt like the clay had imprinted on me and an experience everyone should have at least once in their lifetime.