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The philosophy of Stoicism - Massimo Pigliucci

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https://youtu.be/dFb7Hxva5rg

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Legalism: a philosophical belief that human beings are more inclined to do wrong than right because they are motivated entirely by self-interest and require strict laws to control their impulses.

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Skepticism: an attitude of doubt or a disposition to incredulity either in general or toward a particular object.

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Daoism

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Daoism

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DsTWlKgXniw

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Confucianism is one of the most influential religious philosophies in the history of China, and it has existed for over 2,500 years. It is concerned with inner virtue, morality, and respect for the community and its values.

Subjects

Religion, Social Studies, Ancient Civilizations

Image

Confucian Philosopher Mencius

Confucianism is an ancient Chinese belief system, which focuses on the importance of personal ethics and morality. Whether it is only or a philosophy or also a religion is debated.

Photograph by Historica Graphica Collection/Heritage Images/Getty Images, taken from Myths and Legends of China

Confucianism is a philosophy and belief system from ancient China, which laid the foundation for much of Chinese culture. Confucius was a philosopher and teacher who lived from 551 to 479 B.C.E. His thoughts on ethics, good behavior, and moral character were written down by his disciples in several books, the most important being the Lunyu. Confucianism believes in ancestor worship and human-centered virtues for living a peaceful life. The golden rule of Confucianism is "Do not do unto others what you would not want others to do unto you."

There is debate over if Confucianism is a religion. Confucianism is best understood as an ethical guide to life and living with strong character. Yet, Confucianism also began as a revival of an earlier religious tradition. There are no Confucian gods, and Confucius himself is worshipped as a spirit rather than a god. However, there are temples of Confucianism, which are places where important community and civic rituals happen. This debate remains unresolved and many people refer to Confucianism as both a religion and a philosophy.

The main idea of Confucianism is the importance of having a good moral character, which can then affect the world around that person through the idea of "cosmic harmony." If the emperor has moral perfection, his rule will be peaceful and benevolent. Natural disasters and conflict are the result of straying from the ancient teachings. This moral character is achieved through the virtue of ren, or "humanity," which leads to more virtuous behaviours, such as respect, altruism, and humility. Confucius believed in the importance of education in order to create this virtuous character. He thought that people are essentially good yet may have strayed from the appropriate forms of conduct. Rituals in Confucianism were designed to bring about this respectful attitude and create a sense of community within a group.

The idea of "filial piety," or devotion to family, is key to Confucius thought. This devotion can take the form of ancestor worship, submission to parental authority, or the use of family metaphors, such as "son of heaven," to describe the emperor and his government. The family was the most important group for Confucian ethics, and devotion to family could only strengthen the society surrounding it.

While Confucius gave his name to Confucianism, he was not the first person to discuss many of the important concepts in Confucianism. Rather, he can be understood as someone concerned with the preservation of traditional Chinese knowledge from earlier thinkers. After Confucius' death, several of his disciples compiled his wisdom and carried on his work. The most famous of these disciples were Mencius and Xunzi, both of whom developed Confucian thought further.

Confucianism remains one of the most influential philosophies in China. During the Han Dynasty, emperor Wu Di (reigned 141-87 B.C.E.) made Confucianism the official state ideology. During this time, Confucius schools were established to teach Confucian ethics. Confucianism existed alongside Buddhism and Taoism for several centuries as one of the most important Chinese religions. In the Song Dynasty (960-1279 C.E.) the influence from Buddhism and Taoism brought about "Neo-Confucianism," which combined ideas from all three religions. However, in the Qing dynasty (1644-1912 C.E.), many scholars looked for a return to the older ideas of Confucianism, prompting a Confucian revival.

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March 6, 2024

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Confucianism is one of the most influential religious philosophies in the history of China, and it has existed for over 2,500 years. It is concerned with inner virtue, morality, and respect for the community and its values.

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Daoism

https://asiasociety.org/education/daoism#:~:text=Daoists%20were%20supporters%20both%20of,world%20within%20the%20human%20body).

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Humans model themselves on earth,
Earth on heaven,
Heaven on the Way,
And the way on that which is naturally so.
-Laozi, excerpted from Daodejing #251

A noted Chinese anthropologist has written that Chinese religion "mirrors the social landscape of its adherents. There are as many meanings as there are vantage points." The same could be said of the diverse tradition we call Daoism. Daoism was understood and practiced in many ways, each reflecting the historical, social, or personal situation of its adherents. While this diversity may confuse and perplex the outside observer, it accounts for the resilience of Daoism in China. Daoism was adaptable, evolving to fill spiritual gaps created by the vagaries of life.

Daoism can also be called "the other way." During its entire history, it has coexisted alongside the Confucian tradition, which served as the ethical and religious basis of the institutions and arrangements of the Chinese empire. Daoism, while not radically subversive, offered a range of alternatives to the Confucian way of life and point of view. These alternatives, however, were not mutually exclusive. For the vast majority of Chinese, there was no question of choosing between Confucianism and Daoism. Except for a few straight laced Confucians and a few pious Daoists, the Chinese man or woman practiced both-either at different phases of life or as different sides of personality and taste.

Classical Daoist philosophy, formulated by Laozi (the Old Master, 5th century B.C.E.?), the anonymous editor of the Daodejing (Classic of the Way and its Power), and Zhuangzi (3rd century B.C.E.), was are interpretation and development of an ancient nameless tradition of nature worship and divination. Laozi and Zhuangzi, living at a time of social disorder and great religious skepticism (see article on Confucianism), developed the notion of the Dao (Dao-way, or path) as the origin of all creation and the force-unknowable in its essence but observable in its manifestations-that lies behind the functionings and changes of the natural world. They saw in Dao and nature the basis of a spiritual approach to living. This, they believed, was the answer to the burning issue of the day: what is the basis of a stable, unified, and enduring social order? The order and harmony of nature, they said, was far more stable and enduring than either the power of the state or the civilized institutions constructed by human learning. Healthy human life could flourish only in accord with Dao>-nature, simplicity, a free-and-easy approach to life. The early Daoists taught the art of living and surviving by conforming with the natural way of things; they called their approach to action wuwei (literally, "no-action"), action modeled on nature. Their sages were wise, but not in the way the Confucian teacher was wise>-learned anda moral paragon. Zhuangzi's sages were often artisans>-butchers or woodcarvers. The lowly artisans understood the secret of art and the art of living. To be skillful and creative, they had to have inner spiritual concentration and put aside concern with externals, such as monetary rewards, fame, and praise. Art, like life, followed the creative path of nature, not the values of human society.>

Throughout Chinese history, people weary of social activism and aware of the fragility of human achievements would retire from the world and turn to nature. They might retreat to a countryside or mountain setting to commune with natural beauty. They would compose or recite poetry about nature, or paint a picture of the scene, attempting to capture the creative forces at the center of nature's vitality. They might share their outing with friends or more rarely>-a spouse, drinking a bit of wine, and enjoying the autumn leaves or the moon.>

Chinese utopian writings also often bore a Daoist stamp. Dao Qian's(T'ao Ch'ien, 372?-427? C.E.) famous "Peach Blossom Spring" told the story of a fisherman who discovered by chance an idyllic community of Chinese who centuries earlier had fled a war-torn land, and had since lived in perfect simplicity, harmony, and peace, obliviously unaware of the turmoil of history beyond their grove. Although these utopian surged him to stay, the fisherman left to share his discovery with friends and a local official. He could never find his way back. He did not understand that this ideal world was to be found not by following an external path, but a spiritual path; it was a state of mind, an attitude, that comprised the utopia.

If Daoist ideas and images inspired in the Chinese a love of nature and an occasional retreat to it from the cares of the world to rest and heal, it also inspired an intense affirmation of life: physical life --health, well-being, vitality, longevity, and even immortality. Laozi and Zhuangzi had reinterpreted the ancient nature worship and esoteric arts, but they crept back into the tradition as ways of using knowledge of the Dao to enhance and prolong life. Some Daoists searched for "isles of the immortals," or for herbs or chemical compounds that could ensure immortality. More often, Daoists were interested in health and vitality; they experimented with herbal medicine and pharmacology, greatly advancing these arts; they developed principles of macrobiotic cooking and other healthy diets; they developed systems of gymnastics and massage to keep the body strong and youthful. Daoists were supporters both of magic and of proto-science; they were the element of Chinese culture most interested in the study of and experiments with nature.

Some Daoists believed that spirits pervaded nature (both the natural world and the internal world within the human body). Theologically, these myriad spirits were simply many manifestations of the one Dao, which could not be represented as an image or a particular thing. As the Daoist pantheon developed, it came to mirror the imperial bureaucracy in heaven and hell. The head of the heavenly bureaucracy was the jade Emperor, who governed spirits assigned to oversee the workings of the natural world and the administration of moral justice.The gods in heaven acted like and were treated like the officials in the world of men; worshipping the gods was a kind of rehearsal of attitudes toward secular authorities. On the other hand, the demons and ghosts of hell acted like and were treated like the bullies, outlaws, and threatening strangers in the real world; they were bribed by the people and were ritually arrested by the martial forces of the spirit officials.5 The common people, who after all had little influence with their earthly rulers, sought by worshipping spirits to keep troubles at bay and ensure the blessings of health, wealth, and longevity.

The initiated Daoist priest saw the many gods as manifestations of the one Dao. He had been ritually trained to know the names, ranks, and powers of important spirits, and to ritually direct them through meditation and visualization. In his meditations, he harmonized and reunited them into their unity with the one Dao. However, only the educated believers knew anything of the complex theological system of the priest. Thus communal rituals had two levels: (a) a priestly level, which was guided by the priest's meditation and observed by major patrons, who were educated laymen; and (b) a public and dramatic ritual, usually performed by lower ranked Daoist assistants, which was theatrical in form. It conveyed the meaning through visible actions such as climbing sword ladders, or lighting and floating lanterns. The same ritual had a subtle metaphysical-mystical structure for the theologians, and a visible dramatic structure for the lay audience.

Daoism was also an important motif in fiction, theater, and folk tales. Local eccentrics who did not care for wealth and position were often seen as "Daoist" because they spurned Confucian values and rewards. In fiction Daoists were often eccentrics; they also had magical or prophetic powers, which symbolized their spiritual attainment. They healed, restored youth and vitality, predicted the future, or read men's souls. They were also depicted as the stewards of a system of moral retribution; the Daoist gods in heaven and hell exacted strict punishments for wrongdoing, and would let no sinner off the hook. On the one hand, then, they were non-conformists who embodied different values and life styles; on the other, their strict moral retribution reinforced the values of the society. Daoism was "the other way," but it did not threaten the moral consensus. It was, perhaps, a kind of safety valve to escape the pressures of society, or at least a complementary channel for alternative views and values.

Chinese communists see Daoism as fatalistic and passive, a detriment to socialist reconstruction. The People's Republic has kept alive some practical arts, such as the use of traditional herbal medicines, which have longstanding links with Daoism. In a larger sense, since Daoism functioned in imperial China as a retreat and withdrawal from the struggles of the political arena, one might say that in a very general way the current relaxation of political pressure in reaction against the excesses of the Gang of Four represents a Daoistic phase of Chinese Maoism.

Notes

Excerpted and adapted from Wm. DeBary, ed., Sources of Chinese Tradition, New York,: Columbia University Press, 1960, I: 56.

Arthur P. Wolf, "Gods, Ghosts, and Ancestors," in his (ed.) Religion and Ritual in Chinese Society, Stanford: Stanford University Press,1974, p. 131.

Cyril Birch, Anthology of Chinese Literature, Vol. 1, New York: GrovePress, 1965, pp. 167-168. This anthology contains excellent and readable translations of poems, biographies, essays, and stories that are very successful in conveying religious attitudes. A useful resource for classroom selections.

See Joseph Needham, Science and Civilization in China, Vol. 2, Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 1956, pp. 33-164.

Arthur P. Wolf, "Gods, Ghosts, and Ancestors," pp. 131-182.

Michael Saso, Taoism and the Rite of Cosmic Renewal, Pullman: Washington State University Press, 1972.
Author's note: This article and the one on Confucianism were written during the Indiana Religion Studies Project Institute for Teaching about Religion in the Secondary Social Studies Curriculum. The drafts were critiqued by the social studies teachers who attended with an eye to supplementing and correcting the information in textbooks and other materials used by teachers. The two articles should read as a pair;they complement each other in much the same way these two religions complemented each other throughout Chinese history. Editor's Note: It is a matter of scholarly debate whether to change the term Taoism (or Taoist) into Daoism/Daoist to conform with pinyin's rules. Since Taoism is an coined, anglicized word, our choice is not to put it in the pinyin, in spite of the fact that we have changed "the Tao," the way, to "the Dao." The current literature on China includes both spellings. It remains for the future to determine which will predominate.

Additional Background Reading on Asian Religions and Philosophies

Humans model themselves on earth,
Earth on heaven,
Heaven on the Way,
And the way on that which is naturally so.
-Laozi, excerpted from Daodejing #251

A noted Chinese anthropologist has written that Chinese religion "mirrors the social landscape of its adherents. There are as many meanings as there are vantage points." The same could be said of the diverse tradition we call Daoism. Daoism was understood and practiced in many ways, each reflecting the historical, social, or personal situation of its adherents. While this diversity may confuse and perplex the outside observer, it accounts for the resilience of Daoism in China. Daoism was adaptable, evolving to fill spiritual gaps created by the vagaries of life.

Daoism can also be called "the other way." During its entire history, it has coexisted alongside the Confucian tradition, which served as the ethical and religious basis of the institutions and arrangements of the Chinese empire. Daoism, while not radically subversive, offered a range of alternatives to the Confucian way of life and point of view. These alternatives, however, were not mutually exclusive. For the vast majority of Chinese, there was no question of choosing between Confucianism and Daoism. Except for a few straight laced Confucians and a few pious Daoists, the Chinese man or woman practiced both-either at different phases of life or as different sides of personality and taste.

Classical Daoist philosophy, formulated by Laozi (the Old Master, 5th century B.C.E.?), the anonymous editor of the Daodejing (Classic of the Way and its Power), and Zhuangzi (3rd century B.C.E.), was are interpretation and development of an ancient nameless tradition of nature worship and divination. Laozi and Zhuangzi, living at a time of social disorder and great religious skepticism (see article on Confucianism), developed the notion of the Dao (Dao-way, or path) as the origin of all creation and the force-unknowable in its essence but observable in its manifestations-that lies behind the functionings and changes of the natural world. They saw in Dao and nature the basis of a spiritual approach to living. This, they believed, was the answer to the burning issue of the day: what is the basis of a stable, unified, and enduring social order? The order and harmony of nature, they said, was far more stable and enduring than either the power of the state or the civilized institutions constructed by human learning. Healthy human life could flourish only in accord with Dao>-nature, simplicity, a free-and-easy approach to life. The early Daoists taught the art of living and surviving by conforming with the natural way of things; they called their approach to action wuwei (literally, "no-action"), action modeled on nature. Their sages were wise, but not in the way the Confucian teacher was wise>-learned anda moral paragon. Zhuangzi's sages were often artisans>-butchers or woodcarvers. The lowly artisans understood the secret of art and the art of living. To be skillful and creative, they had to have inner spiritual concentration and put aside concern with externals, such as monetary rewards, fame, and praise. Art, like life, followed the creative path of nature, not the values of human society.>

Throughout Chinese history, people weary of social activism and aware of the fragility of human achievements would retire from the world and turn to nature. They might retreat to a countryside or mountain setting to commune with natural beauty. They would compose or recite poetry about nature, or paint a picture of the scene, attempting to capture the creative forces at the center of nature's vitality. They might share their outing with friends or more rarely>-a spouse, drinking a bit of wine, and enjoying the autumn leaves or the moon.>

Chinese utopian writings also often bore a Daoist stamp. Dao Qian's(T'ao Ch'ien, 372?-427? C.E.) famous "Peach Blossom Spring" told the story of a fisherman who discovered by chance an idyllic community of Chinese who centuries earlier had fled a war-torn land, and had since lived in perfect simplicity, harmony, and peace, obliviously unaware of the turmoil of history beyond their grove. Although these utopian surged him to stay, the fisherman left to share his discovery with friends and a local official. He could never find his way back. He did not understand that this ideal world was to be found not by following an external path, but a spiritual path; it was a state of mind, an attitude, that comprised the utopia.

If Daoist ideas and images inspired in the Chinese a love of nature and an occasional retreat to it from the cares of the world to rest and heal, it also inspired an intense affirmation of life: physical life --health, well-being, vitality, longevity, and even immortality. Laozi and Zhuangzi had reinterpreted the ancient nature worship and esoteric arts, but they crept back into the tradition as ways of using knowledge of the Dao to enhance and prolong life. Some Daoists searched for "isles of the immortals," or for herbs or chemical compounds that could ensure immortality. More often, Daoists were interested in health and vitality; they experimented with herbal medicine and pharmacology, greatly advancing these arts; they developed principles of macrobiotic cooking and other healthy diets; they developed systems of gymnastics and massage to keep the body strong and youthful. Daoists were supporters both of magic and of proto-science; they were the element of Chinese culture most interested in the study of and experiments with nature.

Some Daoists believed that spirits pervaded nature (both the natural world and the internal world within the human body). Theologically, these myriad spirits were simply many manifestations of the one Dao, which could not be represented as an image or a particular thing. As the Daoist pantheon developed, it came to mirror the imperial bureaucracy in heaven and hell. The head of the heavenly bureaucracy was the jade Emperor, who governed spirits assigned to oversee the workings of the natural world and the administration of moral justice.The gods in heaven acted like and were treated like the officials in the world of men; worshipping the gods was a kind of rehearsal of attitudes toward secular authorities. On the other hand, the demons and ghosts of hell acted like and were treated like the bullies, outlaws, and threatening strangers in the real world; they were bribed by the people and were ritually arrested by the martial forces of the spirit officials.5 The common people, who after all had little influence with their earthly rulers, sought by worshipping spirits to keep troubles at bay and ensure the blessings of health, wealth, and longevity.

The initiated Daoist priest saw the many gods as manifestations of the one Dao. He had been ritually trained to know the names, ranks, and powers of important spirits, and to ritually direct them through meditation and visualization. In his meditations, he harmonized and reunited them into their unity with the one Dao. However, only the educated believers knew anything of the complex theological system of the priest. Thus communal rituals had two levels: (a) a priestly level, which was guided by the priest's meditation and observed by major patrons, who were educated laymen; and (b) a public and dramatic ritual, usually performed by lower ranked Daoist assistants, which was theatrical in form. It conveyed the meaning through visible actions such as climbing sword ladders, or lighting and floating lanterns. The same ritual had a subtle metaphysical-mystical structure for the theologians, and a visible dramatic structure for the lay audience.

Daoism was also an important motif in fiction, theater, and folk tales. Local eccentrics who did not care for wealth and position were often seen as "Daoist" because they spurned Confucian values and rewards. In fiction Daoists were often eccentrics; they also had magical or prophetic powers, which symbolized their spiritual attainment. They healed, restored youth and vitality, predicted the future, or read men's souls. They were also depicted as the stewards of a system of moral retribution; the Daoist gods in heaven and hell exacted strict punishments for wrongdoing, and would let no sinner off the hook. On the one hand, then, they were non-conformists who embodied different values and life styles; on the other, their strict moral retribution reinforced the values of the society. Daoism was "the other way," but it did not threaten the moral consensus. It was, perhaps, a kind of safety valve to escape the pressures of society, or at least a complementary channel for alternative views and values.

Chinese communists see Daoism as fatalistic and passive, a detriment to socialist reconstruction. The People's Republic has kept alive some practical arts, such as the use of traditional herbal medicines, which have longstanding links with Daoism. In a larger sense, since Daoism functioned in imperial China as a retreat and withdrawal from the struggles of the political arena, one might say that in a very general way the current relaxation of political pressure in reaction against the excesses of the Gang of Four represents a Daoistic phase of Chinese Maoism.

Notes

Excerpted and adapted from Wm. DeBary, ed., Sources of Chinese Tradition, New York,: Columbia University Press, 1960, I: 56.

Arthur P. Wolf, "Gods, Ghosts, and Ancestors," in his (ed.) Religion and Ritual in Chinese Society, Stanford: Stanford University Press,1974, p. 131.

Cyril Birch, Anthology of Chinese Literature, Vol. 1, New York: GrovePress, 1965, pp. 167-168. This anthology contains excellent and readable translations of poems, biographies, essays, and stories that are very successful in conveying religious attitudes. A useful resource for classroom selections.

See Joseph Needham, Science and Civilization in China, Vol. 2, Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 1956, pp. 33-164.

Arthur P. Wolf, "Gods, Ghosts, and Ancestors," pp. 131-182.

Michael Saso, Taoism and the Rite of Cosmic Renewal, Pullman: Washington State University Press, 1972.
Author's note: This article and the one on Confucianism were written during the Indiana Religion Studies Project Institute for Teaching about Religion in the Secondary Social Studies Curriculum. The drafts were critiqued by the social studies teachers who attended with an eye to supplementing and correcting the information in textbooks and other materials used by teachers. The two articles should read as a pair;they complement each other in much the same way these two religions complemented each other throughout Chinese history. Editor's Note: It is a matter of scholarly debate whether to change the term Taoism (or Taoist) into Daoism/Daoist to conform with pinyin's rules. Since Taoism is an coined, anglicized word, our choice is not to put it in the pinyin, in spite of the fact that we have changed "the Tao," the way, to "the Dao." The current literature on China includes both spellings. It remains for the future to determine which will predominate.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Humans model themselves on earth, Earth on heaven, Heaven on the Way, And the way on that which is naturally so. -Laozi, excerpted from Daodejing #251 A noted Chinese anthropologist has written that Chinese religion "mirrors the social landscape of its adherents. There are as many meanings as there are vantage points."

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Daoism
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kij4kKSGzCE

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Taoism (Daoism) Explained by Taoist Master

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Traits examples

# data[].attributes.body
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1lmyYyZiutg

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
What is Neuroticism? (Five Factor Model of Personality)

# data[].attributes.body
https://www.thomas.co/resources/type/hr-guides/what-are-big-5-personality-traits#:~:text=what%20they%20are.-,The%20five%20broad%20personality%20traits%20described%20by%20the%20theory%20are,coined%20in%201949%20by%20D.%20W.

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Many modern and traditional studies in psychology point to 5 basic dimensions of personality. Evidence of this theory has grown over the years with the principle theory emerging in 1949. The five broad personality traits described by the theory are extraversion (also often spelled extroversion), agr…

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The Healing Power of Radical Acceptance Psychology Today

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Self in the Western and Eastern Perspective I Understanding the Self

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How to Discover Your Authentic Self -- at Any Age | Bevy Smith | TED

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Learned helplessness and learned optimism​

# data[].attributes.subject
Learned helplessness and learned optimism​

# data[].attributes.body
https://7summitpathways.com/blog/what-is-learned-optimism/

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Learned optimism is the process of recognizing and challenging pessimistic thoughts in order to develop more positive behaviors. This concept in psychology aims to help people find new ways to manage tough situations and improve their overall well-being.

The term "learned optimism" comes from positive psychology, a branch of psychology founded by Dr. Martin Seligman. Dr. Seligman uses the phrase "learned optimism" to contrast "learned helplessness," a thought pattern where someone feels unable to change negative circumstances. Under learned helplessness, you can't change the situation and give up. Under learned optimism, while you may not always be able to change your situation, you can change how you respond to it.

People in any situation can benefit from practicing learned optimism. Since the concept focuses on how you understand the cause of your challenges, you can apply it to many circumstances.

Benefits of Learned Optimism

Practicing positivity can have a variety of benefits for your well-being. Research suggests that learned optimism can improve your health through:

Improved physical health: Optimistic people may approach health problems more proactively than pessimistic people, giving them better health outcomes.

Better mental health: Studies show that optimists tend to report better mental well-being than pessimists. Learned optimism practices may also help you reduce the symptoms of depression.

Higher motivation: By practicing optimism, you can stay more motivated as you work toward goals such as Recovery.

How to Increase Your Optimism

Under learned optimism, positivity is a skill that takes practice to learn. The learned optimism process involves changing how you think about the causes of events. As you practice learned optimism, it may take a while for you to retrain your thoughts. You can try these two models to rethink how you explain the causes of your circumstances.

Use the ABCDE Model

Dr. Seligman promotes the "ABCDE" model of learned optimism, which involves asking yourself these questions about your negative thoughts:

Adversity: What event caused the negative thoughts?

Belief: How do you feel about the event?

Consequence: What behaviors came from your feelings about the event?

Disputation: What examples of events prove your negative beliefs wrong?

Energization: How does challenging your negative beliefs inspire you to move forward?

Recognize Cognitive Distortion With the Three P's

You can try to reframe negative thoughts through three kinds of cognitive distortions:

Personalization: Instead of blaming a negative event on yourself, can you connect it to an outside cause?

Permanence: Instead of thinking that the negative event will affect you forever, can you make changes for the future?

Pervasiveness: Instead of believing that one bad event will impact every other event, can you identify it as a single event?

Maintaining Positivity During Recovery

During Recovery from drug or alcohol addiction, learned optimism can help you work toward a substance-free life. It can keep you motivated to stay in Recovery and find alternative coping methods. As you build a new life, 7 Summit Pathways can help you stay positive and develop healthy behaviors. If you need support during Recovery, we welcome you to contact our staff or schedule an appointment today.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Learned optimism is the process of recognizing and challenging pessimistic thoughts in order to develop more positive behaviors. This concept in psychology aims to help people find new ways to manage tough situations and improve their overall well-being. The term "learned optimism" comes from positive psychology, a branch of psychology founded by Dr. Martin Seligman.

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"I am not good enough".

"He's smarter than you".

"Are you sure you are doing the right thing?"

All of us have a critic within us. It is the voice which nudges us to view the world with a negative or unsafe filter. This critical voice can influence our behaviour - threatening us with social ridicule during a presentation, questions our words and actions during a first date, and reminds us of our past failures in life.

As a clinical psychologist, I have noticed that the critical inner voice is often an obstacle faced by most people- whether it is a client suffering from a mental health issue, such as depression or psychosis, an athlete suffering from a spell of low confidence, or an entrepreneur evaluating the likelihood that an idea will be a successful one. Even the most successful individuals are not spared by their critical inner voice, such Kobe Bryant, arguably one of the best basketball players in the history of NBA.

In the developed society that we live in, we can easily obtain food from a restaurant. Our homes protect us from storms and provide us with shelter. Modern medicine also enables us to be vaccinated from diseases such as measles and smallpox. This wasn't the case many generations ago. The ancient humans have to be alert to potential dangers, such as the presence of predators in the environment and being able to identify poisonous fruits that should not be eaten, in order to survive.

Although the world has progressed much in the past century, it takes thousands of years for the brain to evolve. In fact, the structure of the human brain is relatively similar to that of other animals. The innermost regions of our brain, also the oldest part of our brain, continue to perform the functions of survival of our forefathers, including regulating our breathing, responding to perceived danger, and processing emotional experiences. The risk of being a predator's next meal is much lower now, but as a result of millions of years of evolution, our brain is hardwired to naturally alert us to the dangers in the environment. In the current world, these include the risk of social ridicule, financial instability, and even the likelihood of not getting enough likes for our posts on social media!

Exposure to threats, such as family violence, neglect, and controlling behaviour, are associated with higher levels of self-critical thoughts and emotions. How others relate to us, especially at a younger age, is associated with how we relate to ourselves. For example, a person who is often criticized by his parents for not performing according to their high expectations in school, may have develop a critical inner voice reminding him, "I am not good enough" or "I am a disapointment".

Research has shown separate brain pathways exist in response to threats and positive experiences (Gilbert et al., 2006). Individuals who are exposed to negative events at a young age are at risk of overstimulating the threat system in their brain and increasing their sensitivity to threats. This gives rise to frequent and a more "powerful" critical inner voice, warning them of likelihood of getting hurt, controlled or rejected. The lack of activation of the positive affect system at a young age also hinders the maturity of this brain pathway. As a result, the individual may also face difficulties in reassuring themselves in difficult times and have less memories to dispel the criticisms brought about by the critical voices.

Recognize what your critical inner voice is telling you. Although the inner voice may be sending us many messages- from what we should or should not say or do, to how others may perceive us negatively, there is a common pattern or a common message underlying our inner voice. Psychologists often refer to this as one's core belief(s).

For example, I recall seeing a male client several years ago, who wanted to address his anger outbursts. He had been physically abusive towards his girlfriend, and decided to seek help after injuring her after a quarrel. Although the issue may be minor, a disagreement may result in him shouting at his girlfriend and hitting her. I learnt that he was not from Singapore and grew up in a rough neighbourhood. He was subjected to constant bullying from his peers, which only stopped after he got angry, fought back, and injured one of the bullies. He has since developed the core belief that "People will hurt me if I show weakness". While this cognition kept him safe until he finished school, he continued to be wary of people disrespecting him, and would respond with anger and violence.

Being aware of the thought patterns of your inner voice reduces the power that it has in influencing your behaviour. It is the beginning of being able to choose how you respond in a given situation, and break away from your usual behaviour.

Your inner voice seldom speak the truth. However, what the inner voice say is often unchallenged and you probably do not notice how it influences our behaviour. It should be pointed out the critical inner voice tends to magnify the negative aspects of the situation, and leads us to feel worse than we actually should. For example, a local study highlighted that undergraduates in Singapore with critical inner voices which facilitate negative self-view, such as "I do not measure up to my peers" and "I need luck to do well", are more likely to develop clinical levels of test anxiety while preparing for their examinations (Wong, 2008).

As shown above, although our inner voices are just words (sometimes supplemented with images) in our heads, it has much power over us when it is left unchecked. One simple way of separating yourself from your inner voice is recognizing that the inner voice is simply a thought in your head, and not a fact (Harris, 2011). For example, when your inner voice tells you, "It's your fault", modify it to "I notice that I am having a thought that this is my fault". This gives a sense of separation from the thought instead of enticing us to believe it and negatively influence our behaviour.

Self-compassion can be defined as relating to oneself with kindness and empathy. Individuals who were exposed to unloving or abusive environments may find self-compassion a strange concept. They have almost always been blamed for whatever issues that exist and they always get called out for their mistakes.

Adopting a self-compassionate approach to your critical voices involves understanding the reason why the inner voice is saying what it is saying, and exploring less hostile ways of feelings and thinking. The key is developing an insight into the responses of the inner voice as a safety behaviour/strategy, and establish a more empathetic alternative. For example, Mary's critical inner voice often tells her that she doesn't deserve to be loved, leading her to choose to stay in an abusive relationship as she fears that she may not find another partner. After reflecting with self-compassion, she may develop the insight, "I am used to thinking I don't deserved to be loved, which has negatively influenced my relationship with others. Now, I am aware that this served to protect me from my critical parents in the past. These thoughts are understandable, but are not reflections that I deserved to be abused by others".

Part of being self-compassionate is also about being aware that the critical inner voice is a norm, and not something to fear or to be ashamed of. I believe almost everyone, if not everyone, has a critical inner voice. Those who do not have a critical inner voice, or are unaware of it, are likely to be narcissistic individuals (which is another problem altogether).

You have learnt how to reduce the power of the critical inner voice in the first three steps. However, the only way to gain power over your inner voice is to get into action and keep working until you get the results that you want. You might need to evaluate, and adjust your strategy along the way. You may also need to equip yourself with new skills and practise it. But that is fine.

The inner voice is privy to your deepest fears, and is pretty efficient in generating excuses too. Allowing it to rattle your confidence and motivation could leave you stuck, or even lead you away from your goals. However, once you start acting and begin taking control of the situation, you will find that the influence of the inner voice begins to diminish as you become more confident. As highlighted by Harris (2011), the actions of confidence precede the feelings of confident. If you want to achieve something, you have to do the work first before you can start feeling confident. Waiting for your inner voice to tell you that you are ready or to assure you that you can achieve your goal before you start doing anything is unlikely to happen.

Recall the quote by Kobe Bryant above. Imagine if Kobe had waited for his inner voice to tell him that he will score lots of points and go on to be a great player before he decides to play a game. Would he have won 5 NBA titles and be an 18-time All-star player? His achievements were the result of his choice to keep pushing on despite the critical inner voice. This doesn't mean that Kobe's critical inner voice stopped after he achieved a certain level of success. However, the power that it has on his emotions and behaviour would have certainly diminished.
References.
Gilbert, P., Baldwin, M. W., Irons, C., Baccus, J. R., & Palmer, M. (2006). Self-criticism and self-warmth: An imagery study exploring their relation to depression. Journal of Cognitive Psychotherapy, 20(2), 183.

Harris, R. (2011). The Confidence Gap: A Guide to Overcoming Fear and Self-doubt. Shambhala Publications.

Wong, S. S. (2008). The relations of cognitive triad, dysfunctional attitudes, automatic thoughts, and irrational beliefs with test anxiety. Current Psychology, 27(3), 177-191.

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Overcoming the critical inner voices in your head - ImPossible Psychological Services

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All of us have a critic within us. It is the voice which nudges us to view the world with a negative or unsafe filter. This critical voice can influence our behaviour - threatening us with social ridicule during a presentation, questions our words and actions during a first date, and reminds us of our past failures in life.

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https://positivepsychology.com/emotion-regulation/

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Emotions signal threats and rewards. Much like a compass that guides us in the right direction, emotions have the power to guide us to the right actions.

For example, when a child commits a mistake, they might get scared and lie to their parents about it, or avoid confronting them for fear of punishment.

Their parents may eventually discover what they did and the child, in all probability will end up facing the same consequences that they were trying to avoid. In this instance, listening and responding to the 'fear' emotion proved futile to the child.

However, the same emotion (fear) would have proven helpful for someone being chased by a wild animal in the forest. In that situation, running to avoid confronting the savage beast would have been the correct decision.

It is therefore crucial to judge when to trust emotional triggers and act on them, and when not to; in other words, it is essential for us to understand how to regulate or control our emotions so we could use them optimally.

In this article, we will discuss the psychology of emotional regulation - what it means, how we can cultivate it, and what methods we can choose to implement emotional management in real life.

Before you read on, we thought you might like to download our three Emotional Intelligence Exercises for free. These science-based exercises will not only enhance your ability to understand and regulate your emotions but will also give you the tools to foster the emotional intelligence of your clients, students or employees.

What is Emotional Regulation? A Definition

"Emotional regulation refers to the process by which individuals influence which emotions they have, when they have them, and how they experience and express their feelings. Emotional regulation can be automatic or controlled, conscious or unconscious, and may have effects at one or more points in the emotion producing process."

(Gross, 1998, p. 275).

The definition of emotional regulation encompasses both positive and negative feelings, along with how we can strengthen them, use them, and control them.

Emotional regulation involves three components:

Initiating actions triggered by emotions.

Inhibiting actions triggered by emotions.

Modulating responses triggered by emotions.

Ideally, the third component is the best way to make the most of the regulatory processes.

Every day, we face hundreds of emotion-provoking stimuli, and most of them require some action or response from our end. It is only natural for the mind to get hooked into some negative contemplation or unmindfully ignore emotions after getting bombarded with so many stimuli every day (Davidson, 1998).

Emotional regulation acts as a modifier; it helps us filter the most important pieces of information and motivates us to attend to it in a way that wouldn't evoke stress or fear.

Studies on emotional regulation indicate that there is a significant positive correlation between emotion regulation and depression management. People with lower levels of anxiety show higher emotional control and social-emotional intelligence.

Research indicates that emotions are adaptive responses that have a deep-rooted basis in evolutionary biology (Levenson, 1999). The way we feel and interpret them affects how we think, how we decide, and how we coordinate our actions in day-to-day lives.

For example, a person who has poor emotion regulation strategies is more likely to fall prey to mood polarities; their actions and behavioral patterns would always be at the mercy of their emotions.

Quite the contrary, a well-regulated person, will have a better balance and judgment of their feelings and actions. Emotional regulation allows us to carefully judge which affective outcomes to embrace and which ones to avoid (Wegner, Erber, & Zanakos, 1993).

When we confront a provoking stimulus, the natural reaction of the brain is to activate the amygdala, a brain site that regulates the fight-or-flight responses (Lee, 2018; Van der Kolk, 1994). Emotional regulation processes allow us to buy time before we act on the fight or flight triggers.

Kris Lee, a Professor and the author of the book Mentalligence: A New Psychology of Thinking-Learn What It Takes to be More Agile, Mindful, and Connected in Today's World says that with emotional regulation, we can allow the initial upsurge of emotions to settle down and zoom out of the situation before reacting to it.

The increased time gap between stimulus and response restores the mental faculties that involve rational thinking and reasoning. As a result, we can save ourselves from sudden emotional breakdowns or burnout.

6 Most Useful Emotional Regulation Skills for Adults

Self-regulation is all about pausing between feeling and reactions - it encourages us to slow down for a bit and act after objectively evaluating a situation. For example, a student who yells at others and hits their friends for petty reasons surely has less emotional control than a child who, before hitting or yelling, tells the teacher about their problems.

Another huge aspect of emotional regulation is value engagement. When we react impulsively without paying much attention to what is going on inside, we might often deviate from our core values and act in a way that is opposite to them. With proper regulation and self-control, we gain the power to stay calm under pressure and prevent ourselves from acting against our core values and ethics.

Here are some skills that can help in cultivating emotional regulation and sustaining it during challenging times in life.

1. Self-awareness

Noticing what we feel and naming it is a great step toward emotional regulation. For example, when you feel bad, ask yourself - Am I feeling sad, hopeless, ashamed, or anxious?

Give yourself some options and explore your feelings. Try to name the specific emotions that you can feel intensely within yourself at that very moment, and write it down if you want. You need not act or judge the cause and effect of your emotions at this stage; all you need is complete awareness of each feeling that is controlling your mind 'right now.'

2. Mindful awareness

In addition to gaining thought awareness, mindfulness lets us explore and identify all aspects of the external world, including our body. Simple mindful exercises such as breath control or sensory relaxation can calm the storm inside and guide our actions in the right way.

3. Cognitive reappraisal

Cognitive reappraisal includes altering the way we think. It is an essential component of psychotherapies like CBT, DBT, and Anger Management, and calls for greater acceptance and flexibility.

Cognitive reappraisal skills may include practices such as thought replacement or situational role reversals, where we try to look into a stressful situation from a whole new perspective.

For example, we can replace thoughts like 'My boss hates me', 'I am no longer needed here', etc. with alternatives such as, 'My boss is upset at this moment, I am sure I can make up for this', or 'I know I am hard working and honest, let me give it another try', etc.. By doing so, we gain a broader and better perception of our problems and react to them with more positivity.

4. Adaptability

Emotional dysregulation lowers our adaptability to life changes. We become more prone to distractions and fail our coping mechanisms, which is why we often start resisting changes. A great exercise to build adaptability is objective evaluation.

For example, when you feel bogged down by stressful emotions that you want to avoid, and you might end up destructively reacting to them, take a moment to think what if your best friend was experiencing the same thing? What would you have suggested they do under these circumstances? Write your answers if you want to and try to think if you are following the same steps for yourself!

5. Self-compassion

Setting aside some time for ourselves every day is a great way to build emotional regulation skills. Reminding ourselves of our talents and virtues, and letting our minds land on a flexible space can immensely change the way we feel and react to our emotions.

Some simple self-compassion hacks involve:

Daily positive self-affirmations

Relaxation and breath control

Compassion meditation

Regular self-care

Gratitude journaling

6. Emotional support

Psychologists believe that we all have the innate capacity to build a robust emotional repertoire and save our mental energy from getting invested in negativity. We can seek emotional support within ourselves by practicing mindful self-awareness or can seek help outside by engaging in positive communication with others.

It is okay to see a therapist or professional when our inner coping fails; the sole focus is to create a positive emotional shield that can channelize our emotions to bring out the best in us.

Science-Based Emotion Regulation Strategies

Literary resources on emotional regulation have provided a myriad of solutions for emotional dysregulation. While all the self-regulation strategies are undoubtedly useful and practical, the problem arises when we have to choose the best plan for us (Gross, 2015; Ochsner, Silvers, & Buhle, 2012).

Most scientific research on emotional regulation focus on either a particular age group that could benefit from the strategy, or a specific situation in which it works the best (Webb, Miles, & Sheeran, 2012). Little is said about the scientific methods that we could use for taming our feelings at all times.

Recent studies, however, have shed some light in this regard. Researchers nowadays agree that emotion regulation should not be constrained to a time frame or a group of individuals under a specific circumstance, and have proposed a few scientific strategies that could guide us at all times (Aldao, 2013; Gross, 2015).

1. Reappraisal

Reappraisal or cognitive reappraisal ensures long-term wellbeing and offers a permanent solution to emotional distress. Through re-evaluation, we do not aim to suppress or eliminate the negative emotions that cause pain forcefully, instead, we look for better ways of dealing with it (Davis, Senghas, Brandt, & Ochsner, 2010).

In addition to finding appropriate and positive substitutes of the problems, cognitive reappraisal also shifts our focus from the distress and reduces the impact of the negative emotion for a while (Troy, Shallcross, & Mauss, 2013).

2. Self-soothing

Self-soothing, in any form, can reduce the toxic effects of anger, sadness, and agony that negative experiences bring (Heiy & Cheavens, 2014). Scientists believe that self-soothing, as opposed to self-confrontation, guarantees better and quicker answers when it comes to managing thoughts and emotions.

We can practice several variations of self-soothing exercises, including:

Self-compassion and loving-kindness meditation.

Music meditation, where we set aside some minutes to listen to music and unwind ourselves with the relaxing sound.

Reminiscence therapy, which works great for resolving emotional conflicts involving other people. The practice involves merely sitting and trying to recollect all the good memories we have once had with the person we are now struggling with.

Breathing exercises, including breath control, breath counting, and simple breath relaxation.

Simple self-care such as a hot bath, a relaxing massage, cooking for yourself, etc.

3. Attentional control

Attentional control starts with reappraisal. It aims to divert our attention away from the negative emotion and allows us to look at it from a rewarding perspective.

For example, we can overpower the irresistible anger and shame that follows an insult or abuse from someone, by thinking of it as a lesson that taught you to avoid building connections with rude people.

By focusing more on what you learned from the conflict, you not only save yourself from the severe stress and agony, but you also gain a perspective of how you can avoid such interpersonal disputes later. As a result, you are successful in modulating your responses to the negative encounter and restoring your mental peace altogether (Gross & John, 2003).

What is Emotional Regulation Disorder?

As the name indicates, emotional regulation disorder is a condition of impaired or dysfunctional ability to regulate and manage emotions optimally. Emotional Dysregulation (ED) is a term mental health specialists use for emotional responses that are weakly managed and deviate from the accepted range of positive reactions.

The emotional regulation disorder is often manifested by symptoms such as:

Sudden and unexplained anger outbursts that get displaced to someone who did not cause any harm. May include passive-aggressive patterns of behavior.

Somatoform symptoms such as chronic pain and illness not caused by any medical condition and remain unexplained by medical professionals.

Self-destruction or self-harming behavior, including extreme thoughts of suicide.

Difficulty in building and maintaining healthy social relationships in personal and professional fields.

Attentional dysregulation, including the inability to focus on meaningful work because the mind is too occupied with negative thoughts and emotions.

Hypersensitivity and poor self-control.

The worst part of Emotion Regulation Disorder is that it mostly comes in association with other mental health issues such as depression, stress, or extreme mood polarities, and therefore, management requires an overall intervention plan for addressing all the associated problems.

The most common intervention psychologists use for managing EDD is Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), in combination with some cognitive strategies and emotional support adjuncts.

The prognosis of Emotional Regulation Disorder is relatively good, considering the number of practical interventions that we could use. The best results are, however, seen when the person chooses to take charge of it soon and participates in a long-term treatment plan.

5 Tips for Fostering Emotional Regulation in Children

Emotional regulation is an absolute necessity for academic, social, and moral development in children. Parents often find it overwhelming to find the right way to teach emotional regulation to their children and help them deal with the inevitable stressors of everyday life.

Emotional perception and management are never the same for two people, which is why successfully training someone to regulate their emotions can be a difficult task. However, psychologists over the years have come up with some great solutions to this problem.

Here are some hacks that parents and carers can use to cultivate emotional regulation in youngsters (Toub, Rajan, Golinkoff, & Hirsh-Pasek, 2016).

1. Model the right behavior

Children learn best through observation. Showing them what to do rather than verbally directing is sure to generate better results. For example, a child grows up with parents who treat each other with respect and resolve their conflicts without being abusive, will learn to be more emotionally balanced and resilient than a child who grows up with aggressive and abusive parents.

It is essential to show children that positivity is the 'only' way to deal with stressors, and the best way to do it is by practicing the same ourselves.

2. Delay response time

Encourage the child not to give immediate reactions. Whenever the kid gets angry or is sad, ask them to hold back for a while and react after that. The delay in response time allows the fight-or-flight response to settle down, and in all probability, the child would respond less intensely than they would otherwise have.

3. Work on the child's emotional vocabulary

Self-expression works great for emotional regulation in children. Often, a child experiences something that they are unable to explain, and the frustration that follows leads to an unpleasant reaction that is not acceptable.

A useful strategy is to create a chart with all the emotions named in it, with examples or face illustrations of how the particular passion makes us feel. Being able to call the feelings they are experiencing makes a child more vigilant and aware of their innermost feelings, and reduces the chances of emotional outbursts.

4. Teach them about actions and consequences

When a child is aware of what their actions might bring to them, they will likely choose their steps carefully. Whether in the classroom or at home, we can engage in meaningful conversations with kids about what is an action and what could be its consequences. For example, teachers and parents could make a chart and list some activities with their potential impacts and ask the child to decide which actions they would choose.

5. Let them detect stress

The goal of fostering emotional regulation in children is to make them self-dependent as a person in the future. There are particular situations, people, or events that create stress in children, for example, going to school away from parents, getting scolded by teachers, or someone taking away their favorite toy.

If we could devote some time to help them identify the little things that bring unpleasant feelings in them, it can go a long way in making them aware of their stressors and provide them the strength to deal with their emotions effectively as they grow up.

What is DBT and How Does it Relate?

Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is a cognitive and behavior-oriented psychotherapy that relies on active communication to address mental health issues. DBT is especially useful for treating personality disorders like BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) where individuals lose track of their emotional control mechanisms.

The core principle of DBT is that the arousal levels in different stressful encounters vary from person to person. For example, the way an adolescent would react to their parent's death would be different from how a 50-year-old person would respond to parental loss, and needless to mention, the consequences of these reactions would hugely differ too (Kleindienst et al., 2011).

Again, a person who is timid and shy would react differently to any abuse from an extravert and friendly person. By considering these individual differences, DBT makes the interventions precise and person-centered.

In its pure form, DBT is:

Supportive - in the way it helps individuals understand and manage their emotional experiences and reactions.

Cognitive - because it emphasizes thoughts and acknowledges the fact that our emotions arise from the way we think and interpret the contemplations.

Mutual - as it requires equal amounts of attention and effort from the client and the therapist. Much like CBT interventions, DBT also relies on collaborative exercises, activities, and homework that help in assessing progress.

The reason why DBT is suitable for dealing with emotional regulation disorder is that it lets individuals learn, acknowledge, and change their faulty thought patterns themselves (Siever & Davis, 1991). DBT doesn't coerce solutions or rush to diagnosis; it operates on the belief that unless we can internalize the positive emotions and learn to use them ourselves, no therapy can be good enough to make us happier.

DBT skills for emotional management includes:

Learning and identification of negative and positive emotions.

Labeling and naming emotions.

Reducing emotional vulnerability and hypersensitivity.

Gaining awareness about how we are feeling at the present moment.

Understanding desirable actions and implementing them in real life situations.

Enhancing stress management and coping techniques (Bohus et al., 2004; Linehan, Armstrong, Suarez, Allmon, & Heard, 1991).

4 Emotional Regulation Activities & Exercises

Below are four exercises that can be practiced by anyone. Breathing regulation exercises are useful in a variety of settings, and just being mindful of emotions in general can benefit any person.

1. Breathing exercises for emotional regulation

Three main breathing exercises help in modulating emotions:

Breath Counting - Where we sit calmly for a few seconds and slowly start counting. For example, you can count 5 to inhale and 7 to exhale. The goal of this exercise is to focus on our breathing and follow the counting as we inhale and exhale.

Breath Shifting - Here we place one hand on our chest and the other hand on our abdomen and notice how they rise and fall with each inhales and exhales. By doing so, we aim to see the difference between the chest and belly movement during breathing, and it helps in regaining focus into our bodies.

Breath Relaxation - Breath relaxation is the most basic breathing exercise and practically works well for any stress, anxiety, or emotional disorder. The practice is to sit back and take deep breaths with eyes closed, and continue doing so until we can feel the connection between our mind and body, and realize the stress and negativity are fading away with the deep breaths.

2. Exercise for emotional catharsis

The most significant problem of emotional dysregulation disorder is the inability to let go of emotions. Even after realizing the inappropriateness of irrational thoughts, they find it hard to eliminate them from the mind (Singer et al., 2012). Through emotional catharsis, which is a way of venting out the suppressed emotions, we can achieve the mental balance that we often seek.

The practice is simple and involves five easy steps:

Observing emotions as they are, without trying to change them at the first instance.

Trying to evaluate the experience and feelings that come with a particular emotion.

Acknowledging the fact that we are not our emotions. For example, if we are feeling sad, it doesn't have to mean that we are depressed individuals. Emotions are just a state of mind; they come and go.

Naming the emotions aloud or writing them the way you feel it.

Talking about them to a friend, family, or therapist, without being afraid of judgment.

3. Mindfulness for emotions

We know that mindfulness is the art of living in the present moment. Practicing mindfulness helps us gaining awareness of our mind, body, and feelings. It builds a secure connection to the present and allows us to look at our thoughts and feelings from an objective and neutral perspective.

There are two types of mindfulness exercises that help in emotional regulation:

The 'Acknowledgment' Exercises - including careful observation, naming thoughts, and labeling emotions.

The 'Implementation' Exercises - including practices of thinking non-judgmentally, active and empathetic listening, effective communication, and self-expression.

4. Self-awareness techniques

Self-awareness, for the most of it, is a counterpart of mindfulness and is tied in with recognizing one's own emotions and the ways they affect us.

A great way to manage unhealthy emotions through self-awareness is the thought naming exercise, where we make a list of all the thoughts that are dominating our mind this very moment, the people or circumstances that we think may be causing them, and name the emotions in one or two words.

We can practice this as a daily self-help practice, and make a chart like the one shown below:

Useful Therapy Modalities

Which therapy modalities are particularly useful for emotion regulation?

1. Emotional Regulation Therapy (ERT)

Emotion Regulation Therapy is a person-centered approach to dealing with affective regulation. It uses parts of CBT, DBT, Mindfulness, and other humanistic approaches to achieve the following goals:

Helping individuals identify, acknowledge, and describe their emotions.

Allowing unconditional self-acceptance that ultimately results in emotional regulation.

Preventing them from avoiding feelings and choosing actions that impact on their wellbeing.

Helping them learn better decision-making, constructive critical thinking, and problem-solving skills.

ERT interventions operate on a four-dimensional model, as shown below. Studies have proved that administering ERT strategies to patients increase their chances of recovery from disorders such as GAD, PTSD, and severe depression (Fresco, Mennin, Heimberg, & Ritter, 2013).

2. Cognitive Therapy

Cognitive Therapy interventions used in emotional regulation include:

Cognitive Distraction - which is an antecedent-focused strategy involving a careful shift of attention from the negative emotion to something pleasant (Gross, 1998). It is a practical approach where clients get positive stimuli from therapists or coaches to focus on when they feel low. Slowly, the individuals get conditioned to shift their attention the moment they catch themselves indulging in toxic emotions (Nolen-Hoeksema, Wisco, & Lyubomirsky, 2008; Sheppes, Scheibe, Suri, & Gross, 2011).

Cognitive Reappraisal - As we discussed before, cognitive reappraisal is an intervention whose goal is to help us acknowledge the negative emotions at first, and then slowly replace it with other positive emotions that are less provoking.

Cognitive Labeling - Labeling is a neuro-linguistic process of identifying emotions as they arise. Studies have shown that when we can recognize and literally 'name' our feelings and have a complete awareness of the emotional boundaries, there is decreased activity in the amygdala, a part of the brain that regulates emotions (Hariri, Bookheimer, & Mazziotta, 2000; Lieberman et al., 2007).

3. MBCT (Group Therapy)

MBCT or Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy reduces the chances of relapse in people with emotional regulation disorders. It has proven benefits in treating cardiovascular conditions, hormonal deficits, and hypertension that comes with emotional imbalance.

MBCT is usually conducted in group settings, which makes it a preferred option for many people. The process mainly entails in forming a positive relationship with our innermost feelings.

For example, when someone is at the verge of relapsing depression, MBCT teaches them how they can overcome the blues by not trying to change themselves. Through mindfulness and meditation, MBCT reforms the way we feel about ourselves.

Techniques for Working with Autism

Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) are a group of neurodevelopmental conditions that interfere with a person's social, emotional, and executive functioning.

As stated in DSM 5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual for Mental Health Disorders), autism causes:

Impairment in communication and social interaction.

Repetitive behavioral patterns that may sometimes be aggressive or extreme.

Poor impulse control and judgment.

Muscular inflexibility, involuntary movements, and other sensory-motor disturbances.

The typical difficulty that most autistic individuals face is executive dysfunctioning, including impulse control problems, emotional management, self-expression, and anger management.

Psychological regulation strategies specifically created for helping people with ASD primarily focus on separating emotions from the self. It helps autistic individuals understand that they need not act on their feelings; they learn that simply acknowledging emotions can also be a way of responding, without hurting themselves or others.

Another significant aspect that ER strategies deal with is the social and communication deficits autistic people face. There is a 5-point scale that many mental health practitioners and special educators use for helping ASD clients. The scale is created visually to facilitate easy comprehension. The test is systematic and follows a step-by-step approach.

The test starts with the identification of the problem areas, for example, daily routine, self-care, communication, etc.

After identification, caregivers of the client rate each problem based on how much it affects them on a 5-point scale where 5 indicates the most severe issue, and 1 indicates the least severe problem.

After listing down and rating the troubles, parents or caregivers come up with a list of the environmental and social factors that they think might be causing the problems.

Finally, the therapist makes small cards with visual illustrations of each situation that parents earlier labeled as a potential stressor. The cards are presented to the autistic person one by one, and the therapist asks them to express in their way how they feel about it.

Other ER based strategies for helping ASD includes visual expression, media awareness, creative painting and crafts, and group activities.

3 Worksheets to Implement the Theory

There are three worksheets especially applicable to emotion regulation.

1. The Radical Acceptance Worksheet

Marsha Linehan, a famous American psychologist and the creator of Dialectical Behavior Therapy, adopted the concept of radical acceptance from Buddhist teachings and incorporated it in her works later.

The Radical Acceptance Worksheet is often used in DBT interventions as it helps in enhancing self-awareness and understanding the underlying causes of our emotional struggles. The worksheet consists of seven subjective questions, the answers to which suggest the level of emotional control and indicate possible thinking errors.

The sheet is illustrated below. Each question comes with clear, guided instructions, and there are no right or wrong answers here.

The Radical Acceptance Worksheet

Question 1 - Describe a stressful situation you encountered. How did the situation occur? How did it affect you?

Question 2 - Did you or your behavior lead to the situation stated above? If yes, how?

Question 3 - How did others around you contribute to the situation?

Question 4 - What control did you have on yourself during that situation?

Question 5 - What was your reaction to the situation? Do you think your behavior impacted your emotions?

Question 6 - Did your reaction affect others around you? If yes, how?

Question 7 - How would you react to similar stressful circumstances in the future?

2. Emotion Regulation Worksheet

The Emotion Regulation Worksheet is a step-by-step approach to identifying our emotions in a clear and unbiased manner. Adapted from Linehan's manual for treating Borderline Personality Disorder, this worksheet helps in delving deep into the causes and consequences of an intense affective response.

With simple questions that indicate functionality of the emotion, this self-help manual lets us gauge how powerful our emotions can be. The worksheet is shown below.

Find more information on the emotion regulation questionnaire here.

Think of a situation in the past that evoked strong emotions in you and answer the following questions:

What led to the situation?

How did you interpret the situation?

How intense were your emotions (say on a scale of 0-100)?

Did your emotion influence others' actions? If yes, how?

Did the emotion influence your actions? If yes, how?

Did your emotion influence your judgment? If yes, how?

3. The PLEASE Worksheet

The Please Worksheet is standard in DBT interventions for emotional management and self-expression.

PLEASE is an anagram using five key concepts:

Physical health and illness

Mood changing substances

Eating habits

Sleep

Exercise and Fitness

Through managing these aspects of life, the PLEASE Worksheet fosters emotional management and promotes healthy living. The exercise has questions dedicated to each of the five components, and results reflect how the areas affect our emotions and actions. The worksheet is briefly illustrated below.

Since it is usually a counterpart of therapy, the PLEASE Worksheet should ideally be used under professional supervision.

Examples of Emotional Self-Regulation
When was the last time you managed to express your vulnerabilities without hurting yourself or others?
Emotional regulation is not a skill that some of us have, and some of us don't. It is a capacity that is inbuilt in us. We all manage to regulate our emotions in some circumstances and fail to manage them in others. There is no all or none principle that works with emotional regulation in human life.

For example, imagine your boss yelling at you for some mistake. How would you react? Would you yell at them back and resign from the job, or perhaps deal with it calmly and let go? Now, if the same situation happened at home, where you do something wrong, and your partner shouts at you, how would you answer back? Would you hold back your anger and be rational like you were at work, or would you get into a fight with your spouse?

In the above example, the same person (you) could regulate and redirect your emotions at work but fail to do the same at home. You could keep your nerves under control in one situation but lose your judgment in another. This is how emotional regulation can fluctuate in us. Our goal, at all times, should be to maintain a balance in our emotional reactions irrespective of the situation.

There are numerous examples of emotional self-regulation that we can find around us. For example, a person who is on a strict diet and attends a social gathering with all delicious delicacies around has the power to tame their urges and regulate the hunger emotions so they wouldn't cheat their diet.

Leaders who manage large teams and have to make crucial decisions for their organization to maintain a sturdy mental balance that would help them maintain their leadership and success.

Self-regulation in adults or children come from rigorous self-observation, environmental learning, and focused self-awareness. To effectively manage our emotional reactions at work or home, here are some steps that we can all take.

Daily breathing and relaxation.

Healthy eating, sound sleep, and regular exercise.

Quality me-time and a stable self-care regime.

Frequent day-outs or trips with family and friends.

Effective communication with self and others, especially when the conversations are difficult or awkward.

Maintaining a sound work-life balance (Connelly et al., 2012).

Games for Group Therapy Settings

Emotional Regulation group activities often use fun games to make the sessions more exciting and motivating for clients. Group ER activities also work exceptionally well for differently abled people and young children. Some simple ER games used in group therapy settings are discussed below.

1. Traffic Light Game

This is mostly used for children where one participant plays the role of traffic police, and the others play car drivers who wait for the signal. When the traffic police hold the green card, the other kids move forward, and when they lifts the red card, they stop and remain where they are.

After the role play is over, the facilitator uses the metaphor to teach the kids that red cards are bad feelings that they should not chase. When they see those red cards, they should stop until the green (happy) cards come in.

2. Jenga

Jenga is an everyday group activity used for adults and children to foster decision-making and rational planning of actions. The way participants stack the blocks and displace them one by one without breaking the whole stack creates mindful movement strategies that further help in emotional management and decision-making.

3. Follow the Leader Exercise

The purpose of this group activity is to teach that when we are not in charge of our decisions, the best idea is to stay silent and let the time pass. The game is played in a role-play format where each participant takes turns to act as the leader, and others act as their subordinates.

The leader, who is in charge of all decisions, gives orders and their employees have to follow them whether or not they want to. The activity trains them on how to follow the rules and stay calm when something does not go according to the way we want.

Best Books on Emotional Regulation

1. Handbook of Emotion Regulation - James J. Gross

The Handbook of Emotional Regulation is a comprehensive compilation of some of the most useful and scientifically-backed strategies for modulating emotions.

The detailed chapters of the book provide a vivid roadmap of how we can start identifying negative emotions and effectively overcome them in the long-run.

The concepts mentioned by author James Gross are futuristic, research-oriented, and has substantial implications for neuroscience, psychology, and overall health.

Find the book on Amazon.

2. Self-Regulation Interventions and Strategies: Keeping the Body, Mind, and Emotions on Task in Children with Autism, ADHD or Sensory Disorders - Teresa Garland

Author Teresa Garland has put in her years of research on emotional regulation in children in the book Self-regulation Intervention Strategies.

With over a thousand activities and fun exercises that can be blended in academic and other child-care settings, this book is the ultimate guide for parents and teachers who aim to raise emotionally balanced kids.

Find the book on Amazon.

3. Emotion Regulation in Children and Adolescents: A Practitioner's Guide - Michael A. Southam-Gerow

Emotion Regulation in Children and Adolescents is a practical manual or self-help guide for adolescents, young adults, and children, for promoting positive affective self-regulation.

With worksheets, activities, and objective assessments, this piece provides valuable knowledge on how we can confront and manage difficult emotions ourselves.

Find the book on Amazon.

4. DBT Skills Workbook: Practical DBT Exercises for Learning Mindfulness, Interpersonal Effectiveness, Emotion Regulation, and Distress Tolerance - MCKAY M

As the name suggests, this book is dedicated to understanding and learning DBT skills that help in emotional management.

The book follows a holistic perspective and focuses on all areas of emotional balance, including tolerance, mindfulness, coping, and attention.

Find the book on Amazon.

A Take-Home Message

The way we interpret our emotions determine the way we react to it. Emotional regulation does not mean being happy all the time; neither does it guarantee to shield us from pain. With emotional management, we gain the ability to accept our feelings and overpower them.

Emotional regulation is all about moving on and not letting temporary setbacks stop us from reaching our goals. It is tied in with values, expressions, self-compassion, gratitude, and rational thinking, which accounts for the inner peace that emotion regulation brings with it. And as the saying goes, "Feelings are visitors, we should let them come and go."

We hope you enjoyed reading this article. Don't forget to download our three Emotional Intelligence Exercises for free.

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Emotional Regulation: 6 Key Skills to Regulate Emotions

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Emotion regulation is about moving on and not letting temporary setbacks stop us from reaching our goals, and can account for inner peace.

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https://footprintstorecovery.com/blog/combat-negative-self-talk/

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Footprints to Recovery | Drug Rehab & Alcohol Addiction Treatment Centers

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Self-talk is the stream of thoughts and dialogue in your mind. It may take on several roles such as your inner critic, inner cheerleader, inner child, or inner adult. Self-talk is something everyone experiences regularly. It's often linked to past experiences, core beliefs, and distorted cognitive processes. Self-talk can be driven by negative thoughts and feelings and can have a deep impact on self-esteem and perception of the world. Negative self-talk can largely impact self-esteem and maladaptive behaviors, which can fuel challenges like addiction and mental health issues.

Examples of Negative Self-Talk

There are some common patterns that people have around negative thinking and negative self-talk. Types of negative self-talk include:

Personalizing

You blame yourself for anything bad that happens with no evidence. You seem to always be beating yourself up. For example, a friend or coworker is in a bad mood and you immediately think it's because you've done something to make them mad. Negative self-talk that personalizes a situation might be something like, "I've messed up again and now my friend is mad at me and I've caused their bad mood."

Catastrophizing

Your mind always turns to the worst-case scenario. For example, you make a small mistake on a work report and automatically expect that you'll be fired, won't be able to pay your rent, and end up out on the street. Negative self-talk that catastrophizes could be the voice in your head saying, "I can't do anything right and now I'll be homeless and destitute because of it."

Filtering

You only focus on the negative and filter out any positive in your life. For example, you had a great day, where most things went right, but then the deli got your order wrong, and you stew about that instead of focusing on all the good things about your day. An example of negative self-talk around filtering is telling yourself, "Nothing good ever happens to me. Life is unfair and there's nothing I can do about it."

Changing Negative Self Talk

You can overcome negative thinking and stop negative self-talk with attention to your patterns and hard work to change them. Here are seven ways to help you change negative self-talk:

1. Become Aware of Negative Self-Talk

Becoming aware of negative thinking patterns and their impact on mood and behavior is the first step. Here are two examples to start doing that:

Timeout to reflect - Take a time out to reflect on your thoughts and inner voice. Stop and say to yourself "What's the thought? What is driving it? How am I feeling?"

Journaling - Either free-form journaling or a thought journal can help. Basically, any technique to get your thoughts down on paper can improve your awareness of negative thinking and help you become more in tune with yourself.

2. Challenge Negative Self-Talk

As you get better at recognizing negative thinking patterns, you can begin to dive deeper and develop new patterns of thinking. Many times, negative thoughts are connected to irrational beliefs. Catch yourself and challenge these thoughts. Using concrete, positive affirmation is a great place to start. Instead of "I am never going to get this right," challenge the thought with "I am doing my best, and my best is enough." Retraining your mind and shifting your lens takes time and practice.

3. Practice Positive Self-Talk

There are many ways to practice positive self-talk. One way is to focus on your blessings. When negative self-talk begins, try shifting your attention to the positive in your life, no matter how small it is. This is a simple yet powerful way to break the cycle of negativity. Whether it's setting aside a minute or two before bed to reflect on the day, identifying five things that we are thankful for, or keeping a gratitude journal, practicing gratitude is not only a coping skill but an overall mindset.

4. Step Outside of Yourself

Sometimes when you're stuck in a negative thought cycle, it can be helpful to shift perspectives. Try asking yourself, "What would my best friend say?" or "Would I talk to my best friend like this?" Developing self-talk that has a foundation of self-love and compassion is powerful and can really combat the cycle of negativity. Talk to yourself the way you would speak to a loved one, taking a stance of empathy and encouragement.

5. Talk It Out

There are times when you need to lean on your support systems to get out of your head and challenge negativity. Talking to someone in your network, a loved one or a therapist, can help you sort out what's reality and what's just your negative thinking about yourself and the world.

6. Put It on the Shelf

At times, negative thoughts may feel so overwhelming that the best thing to do is take a break and step away. Visualize taking the negative thought or irrational belief and putting it on a shelf, or in a box - whatever works for you. This can help give you a moment of clarity. When the hamster wheel of negative thinking is spinning and you feel you can't challenge those thoughts at the moment, put them on the shelf. Revisit them at a time that better serves you. Maybe later that night when you're writing in your journal, or maybe later that week when you are at a support group or with your therapist. Visualization is an effective skill to manage thinking and increase a sense of control over thoughts.

7. Focus on the Present Moment

Mindfulness is a tool that may not only combat negative thinking, but provides a sense of relief, giving you the ability to stop and refocus. Wherever your mind wanders, you have the power to bring it back to this moment and focus on the hope within the present. Breathing exercises, grounding, and meditation are all ways to focus on the now and break free from the grip of negative thoughts.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) For Negative Self-Talk

Cognitive behavioral therapy is a research-backed approach that helps you identify negative thoughts and how these relate to your behaviors and self-esteem. It teaches you how to challenge negative thinking and beliefs about yourself and replace them with more positive ones.

Cognitive behavioral therapy has been shown effective in helping reduce negative self-talk tied to unhealthy coping skills like substance abuse.

When negative self-talk is fueling addiction and other destructive behaviors, it's time to seek help. Footprints to Recovery offers several evidence-based approaches like CBT to help you pinpoint the underlying issues that are contributing to substance abuse and learn healthier ways to cope with challenges.

Contact us today if you're struggling.

References

1. https://www.drugabuse.gov/international/abstracts/relationship-between-poor-self-esteem-adolescent-substance-use

2. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5747942/

3. https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/positive-thinking/art-20043950

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Self-talk is the stream of thoughts and dialogue in your mind. It may take on several roles such as your inner critic, inner cheerleader, inner child, or inner adult. Self-talk is something everyone experiences regularly. It's often linked to past experiences, core beliefs, and distorted cognitive processes.

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https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/learned-helplessness

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Seligman subjected study participants to loud, unpleasant noises, using a lever that would or would not stop the sounds. The group whose lever wouldn't stop the sound in the first round stopped trying to silence the noise subsequently. Not trying leads to apathy and powerlessness, and this can lead to all-or-nothing thinking. Nothing I do matters. I always lose. This phenomenon exists in many animal species as well as in humans.

The concept may also manifest in educational settings when children feel they cannot perform well and therefore stop trying to improve. The experience is characterized by three main features: a passive response to trauma, not believing that trauma can be controlled, and stress. When parents do everything for their kids, helplessness can follow. Kids do not learn to take care of themselves, and they lose personal agency. A good example of helplessness: When parents do their children's chores for them.

They can be. Perhaps, as children, their parents did everything for them, and they happily carry this helplessness into adulthood. They expect others to do everything for them. The self-absorbed never did their chores and enjoyed adulation and praise in their younger years. Why should they put in the effort now?

Sometimes victimhood can feel like a never-ending state. This person never feels in control of their life, and this loss of control is compounded as time goes on. They are powerless, and they engage in negative self-talk, putting the self down, and having no self-worth. Being helpless can get the victim what they need, namely sympathy and attention.

People who feel stuck in a relationship sometimes give up. They are unable to improve or work on their relationship and they are also unable to end it. Sometimes, a partner can feel that they invested a lot in the union, and moving on does not feel right. Yet fixing the problems seems just as daunting. Instead, they slide into a state of helplessness: What is the point in trying?

People can push back against learned helplessness by practicing independence from a young age and by cultivating resilience, self-worth, and self-compassion. Engaging in activities that restore self-control can also be valuable. For example, an elderly person who feels helpless in the aging process can engage in small exercises that they know will restore a sense of control.

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Learned helplessness occurs when an individual continuously faces a negative, uncontrollable situation and stops trying to change their circumstances, even when they have the ability to do so. For example, a smoker may repeatedly try and fail to quit. He may grow frustrated and come to believe that nothing he does will help, and therefore he stops trying altogether.

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https://health.clevelandclinic.org/what-is-negative-self-talk-and-how-to-change-it/
https://www.happierhuman.com/stop-negative-self-talk/
https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/positive-thinking/art-20043950
https://www.thehealthy.com/mental-health/stop-negative-self-talk/

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Some days, we can be our own worst critics. It's like there's a constant commentator in your head nitpicking every single thing you do.

The truth is, negative self-talk happens to the best of us. But it becomes hard to shake off if you're surrounding yourself with it consistently - and it can start to take a toll on your mental health and relationships.

Psychologist Lauren Alexander, PhD, explains what negative self-talk is and how to stop it in its tracks.

What is negative self-talk?

You may wonder how negative self-talk works. Is feeling down on yourself always harmful? Not necessarily.

We're all human. We all make mistakes. We all feel down or irritated with ourselves at times. The occasional "Oh, that was stupid of me" or "Why did I do that?!" in response to a mess-up isn't uncommon.

"Everyone, at some point, has had some level of negative self-talk. Maybe they've called themselves a name or something like that," says Dr. Alexander. "If that's something you say to yourself occasionally, it's not going to necessarily have a whole lot of impact on you. Harmful negative self-talk is when the dialogue in someone's head is constantly negative, maybe more negative than it is positive."

Examples of negative self-talk

Negative self-talk is more than just feeling down on yourself. Sure, everyone feels a little defeated at times - it's a natural part of life. Similarly, it's also important to be self-aware and know when you make mistakes.

That's why, Dr. Alexander points out, negative self-talk becomes harmful when it becomes the primary way you talk to yourself.

Some examples of negative self-talk include:

"I can't do anything right. I shouldn't even try."

"Nobody likes me, I should stop trying to make friends."

"I don't like anything about myself."

"I'm so dumb."

If you find yourself engaging in this kind of inner conversation all of the time - whether that's actually saying it out loud to the people around you or only in your mind - your negative self-talk may impact your mental well-being.

How negative self-talk can be harmful

The way we speak to ourselves matters. It's the story we tell ourselves about our lives, feelings and experiences. Pay attention if you're bogging yourself down with negative thoughts and self-criticism and look for ways to change it (more on that in a bit).

Here are some very real ways that being stuck in a bad headspace can affect you:

It may worsen anxiety or depression. Negative self-talk can be the sneaky link that intensifies any depression or anxiety you're having. If you're going through certain mental hardships, the last thing your mind needs is constant criticism. Plus, it can cause you to shrink back from your support systems. "People engaging in harmful negative self-talk are much more likely to pull back and isolate themselves," explains Dr. Alexander. This can become a big risk factor for depression and anxiety, even suicide."

It can harm your relationship with others. While venting to your loved ones is important, negative self-talk can cause you to trauma dump on your friends and family. If the never-ending dialogue in your head and to others is negative, it can take a toll on your relationships. "It can be a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you share these thoughts with others, you may initially get reassurance. But after a certain point, people may push away from you," notes Dr. Alexander.

It may hurt your self-esteem. You may develop low self-esteem from the overload of negative thoughts in your head. The more you beat yourself up over not doing things right, the less confidence you'll have to try again. "You reap what you sow," Dr. Alexander states. "If all that is in your mind is this negativity, of course it's going to continue to affect your mood. So, you need to start practicing different ways of talking to yourself."

How to overcome negative self-talk

Ask yourself: "Would I say these negative things about my closest friends?"

Probably not. So, you need to learn how to treat yourself with the same gentle care and respect as you do your loved ones.

But how do you break the cycle of self-criticism? It can be a hard habit to break since the person you spend the most time with is yourself. But there are ways to break the cycle of negative thinking.

Here are some ways to cope with negative self-talk:

Try neutral thinking

You may think that the perfect antidote to negative self-talk is positive self-talk. But that may be too big of a jump for some people. The truth is, the key to being kinder to yourself doesn't necessarily need to be praising yourself - especially if it doesn't feel sincere.

"It's probably not going to feel very natural at first," says Dr. Alexander. Instead, she recommends neutralizing your thoughts. Take them from being so extremely negative to a more realistic and balanced version of what you're thinking.

She offers this example to show how our thoughts can be distorted:

Finding
out you
failed a test.
"I failed this test. I can't do anything right. I'm going to fail at everything. There's no use in even trying." "It's OK for me to be disappointed about failing the test. But I'm good at other things, and I can come up with some ways to prevent this in the future."

The key to doing this successfully? Dr. Alexander says it's catching yourself in these thoughts and swatting them away like an annoying fly.

"Then, as you practice, you can start to transition into some more positive thinking. You can highlight some of your positive attributes, the things that you do right," Dr. Alexander adds. "And then, starting to sow a different style of thinking, slowly but surely. It certainly takes time."

Repeat, repeat, repeat

The best way to form healthy habits is through repetition. But habits won't change overnight.

"That which is repeated over and over will eventually get ingrained in your mind," reassures Dr. Alexander. "That's how the negative thoughts got there in the first place. You're repeating them over and over." Instead, try repeating more balanced thoughts to replace the negative ones.

Writing down realistic or positive thoughts can also help them take hold. Anything that helps create a new narrative in your head can filter out the negative thoughts. Dr. Alexander recommends using thought cards - where you write the thoughts you want to have on a card and read them to yourself.

Don't view negative self-talk as a motivator

We all know the importance of self-discipline and staying humble. But you don't have to be mean to yourself in the process. In fact, negative self-talk can be what holds you back from being more successful.

All of this to say, constant negative self-talk isn't going to make you more self-aware or help you get things done faster or better. A comment to yourself here and there to "do better" or "get back on your feet" is one thing, but you can't let it cross over into harmful territory.

"When we're talking about someone who is just burdened, overloaded with negative self-talk, it does exactly the opposite," explains Dr. Alexander. "It creates more negative emotions. They feel more uncomfortable."

Being kind to yourself is sometimes easier said than done. Life can throw some punches at us that we may not expect, and we often go straight to blaming ourselves. While it's normal to feel like this once in a while, a never-ending stream of negative thoughts towards yourself can become very toxic very fast. But the good news is, you can reword these thoughts through practice and self-assurance.

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Some days, we can be our own worst critics. It's like there's a constant commentator in your head nitpicking every single thing you do. The truth is, negative self-talk happens to the best of us. But it becomes hard to shake off if you're surrounding yourself with it consistently - and it can start to take a toll on your mental health and relationships.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g1hYYIMVl_I

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How to Be Optimistic During Challenges | Brian Tracy

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QGQQ7pJQqHk

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how to master your emotions | emotional intelligence

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https://positivepsychology.com/learned-optimism/

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Can you learn to have a positive outlook? And if you could, how would that change your life?

Learned optimism is a concept from positive psychology's founding father, Martin Seligman, that argues that we can cultivate a positive perspective.

With a more joyful outlook on life, he explains, we're in a much better position to enhance our wellbeing.

This article is about the learned optimism concept and its benefits, as well as how you can start to change your mindset and life. If you'd love to lead a life from a 'glass half full with a splash of ice' perspective, then read on to learn more.

But first, we thought you might like to download our three Positive Psychology Exercises for free. These science-based exercises explore fundamental aspects of positive psychology, including strengths, values, and self-compassion, and will give you the tools to enhance the wellbeing of your clients, students, or employees.

What Is Learned Optimism in Psychology?

Put succinctly, learned optimism is a concept that says we can change our attitude and behaviors by recognizing and challenging our negative self-talk, among other things. It's also the title of Seligman's well-known book, which delves into the theory a little further.

A little background

The aim of positive psychology is to begin to catalyze a change in the focus of psychology from preoccupation only with repairing the worst things in life to also building positive qualities.

Seligman & Csikszentmihalyi, 2000, p. 5

Learned optimism is very much a positive psychology concept; it's the opposite of learned helplessness: a phenomenon whereby individuals believe they are incapable of changing their circumstances after repeatedly experiencing a stressful event (Abramson, Seligman, & Teasdale, 1978; Seligman & Garber, 1980; Maier & Seligman, 2016).

Coming originally from a clinical psychology background, and with a lot of his work centered on pessimism, Seligman became curious why some individuals don't feel helpless even when conditioned to do so. His interest shifted, and he started to look into how we could condition individuals to be more optimistic instead (Peterson, 2000).

Some of his earlier work began to consider how optimism and pessimism were related to how people explained the cause of challenges and adverse events, which set the stage for more studies into other subjects:

The individual benefits of optimism, compared to pessimism

Its impact on health, wellbeing, and success

How people can learn to become more optimistic - learned optimism

Benefits Found in Research

Before examining the findings on optimism's benefits, let's consider exactly what the two entail.

Pessimism has been defined as: "[the] anticipation of good or bad things to happen in the future" (Carver, Scheier, & Segerstrom, 2010). Optimism is often considered the opposite but can be thought of in different ways.

Carver et al. (2010, p. 879) defined optimism from a dispositional standpoint, as "an individual difference variable that reflects the extent to which people hold generalized favorable expectancies for their future."

According to Seligman's (2007, p. 52) explanatory style definition, "The basis of optimism does not lie in positive phrases or images of victory, but in the way you think about causes."

From here, we can see where the idea of 'learnability' originated.

A few benefits of optimism include the following.

1. Improved health

Several studies illustrate the different ways that optimism positively impacts our health.

In a study of head and neck cancer patients, optimistic patients reported a higher quality of life both before and after treatment, suggesting that their positive outlook buffered the effects of health-related distress (Allison, Guichard, & Gilain, 2000). Similar findings of lower distress have been reported in individuals undergoing treatment for breast cancer (Carver et al., 1999).

Optimistic individuals also tend to be more aware of their health status and how to stay that way. Specifically, Radcliffe and Klein's (2002) research studied 146 middle-age adults and found that those with high optimism were more informed about heart attack risk factors, as well as the role of other risk factors on their health: stress, alcohol consumption, nutrition, smoking, fat consumption, and exercise.

Optimists may also take a more approach-focused method of dealing with health stressors. Rather than trying to avoid, ignore, or withdraw from a health concern, optimistic people are more inclined to seek practical support, cognitively restructure, or reinterpret the situation positively, among other coping methods (Solberg Nes & Segerstrom, 2006).

Optimistic people are also less likely to need rehospitalization after a coronary bypass or repeat cardiac operations (Scheier et al., 1999; Helgeson, 2003; Cauley et al., 2017). Compared to pessimists, optimists are also less likely to develop high blood pressure (Everson, Kaplan, Goldberg, & Salonen, 2000), suffer from stress-induced changes in immunity (Kubzansky, Sparrow, Vokonas, & Kawachi, 2001), and even develop heart disease in the first place (Brydon, Walker, Wawrzyniak, Chart, & Steptoe, 2009).

2. Motivation and performance

At work, optimism has been linked to intrinsic motivation to work harder, endure during stressful circumstances, and show more goal-focused behavior (Luthans, 2003).

As an important contributor to employees' wellbeing, it has been linked to improved overall happiness in the workplace, task orientation, solution-focused approaches, perseverance, and decision-making efficacy (Strutton & Lumpkin, 1992; Norman, Collins, Conner, Martin, & Rance, 1995; Podsakoff & MacKenzie, 1997; Chiok Foong Loke, 2001; Harter, Schmidt, & Keyes, 2003; Gavin & Mason, 2004).

This higher motivation was also shown in studies of college students (Solberg Nes, Evans, & Segerstrom, 2009). In academic contexts, higher optimism was also coupled with better grade point averages, perhaps because optimistic tendencies have been linked with higher persistence (Segerstrom & Solberg Nes, 2006).

3. Career success

Seligman himself researched the optimism levels of Metropolitan Life Insurance (MetLife) agents in 1985, a study that he describes in Learned Optimism. At the time, MetLife was struggling with poor staff retention rates despite investing vast amounts in training, so Seligman introduced an optimism test to their screening process.

Because the company was short on employees, they hired a few who scored below the cut-off point. Two years after hiring, the optimistic employees had sold 31% more than the pessimists (Seligman & Schulman, 1986; Seligman, 2006).

Furthermore, those candidates who had failed the company's aptitude test and scored well on the optimism test did 57% better than the pessimists in the second year, suggesting that optimism played a more significant role than selling proficiency.

Elsewhere, career optimism has also been linked positively with subjective career success, job satisfaction, and the external marketability of female academics (Spurk, Kauffeld, Barthauer, & Heinemann, 2015). It has even been linked with higher career adaptability (Tolentino et al., 2014), which is "a set of attitudes, competencies, and behaviors that individuals use in fitting themselves to work that suits them" (Savickas, 2013, p. 45).

With so many promising findings, it's encouraging that optimism can be learned. But if that's the case, how do we get started?

Can Optimism Be Taught?

"Life inflicts the same setbacks and tragedies on the optimist as on the pessimist, but the optimist weathers them better."

Seligman, 2006, p. 312

The positive psychology view of learned optimism is about how we interpret the world, and according to this premise, it's not a fixed trait nor part of our disposition. Instead, it can be seen as more of a strategy - an outlook that we can learn to cultivate when we start by challenging our automatic negative thoughts.

Some studies suggest that optimism interventions can improve people's optimism significantly, with the face-to-face Best Possible Self intervention having the most significant effect of all studied (Meevissen, Peters, & Alberts, 2011; Layous, Nelson, & Lyubomirsky, 2013; Malouff & Schutte, 2015).

In short: if it can be learned, it can be taught, Seligman (2006) would argue.

What Causes Pessimism?

There are a few different explanations in the literature on why we can be pessimistic.

Hecht (2013) discusses a couple of cognitive and perceptual reasons why people tend to be either optimistic or pessimistic.

Attention and information processing

First, it may be down to how we process information and our selective attention. Think of it this way: the glass is either half full or half empty depending on where your focus lies, right?

Assuming you're thirsty, the presence of water in the glass is a positive environmental cue; paying more attention to its presence than its absence is optimistic. You disregard the fact that half the glass is not filled, filtering out the cues that don't correspond with your positive outlook. And eye-tracking studies suggest that pessimists do the opposite, spending more time looking at unpleasant cues than optimistic people (Isaacowitz, 2005, 2006).

Locus of control

Hecht (2013) describes a second potential cognitive mechanism - the locus of control - which refers to our confidence that we can change or control elements of our lives. An internal locus of control is associated with optimism; this is the belief that you can take an active role in controlling things like exam results, work performance, and your environment in general.

In contrast, those with an external locus of control tend to feel helpless about changing their relationships, lives, and so forth. The latter, Hecht argues, is pessimistic.

While your locus of control and optimism can be viewed as conceptually distinct - think about perceived self-efficacy and luck, for instance - there is doubtless some overlap between the two (Peacock & Wong, 1996).

Attributional style

When we explain or attribute failure to internal, fixed, personal factors, we see them as uncontrollable. A failed relationship, for example, becomes " I'm not lovable " - a pessimistic outlook.

When we attribute failure to external, localized, and transient circumstances, we can feel hopeful for better results next time. " I didn't beat my personal best because I have the flu, but I'll swim faster when I'm well." This is distinctly optimistic.

Attributional styles also apply to positive outcomes, but the other way around. Viewing good results as due to global, stable factors inside ourselves is optimistic. " I aced that because I'm a great student." Attributing them to temporary and uncontrollable causes is pessimistic. " Wow, that was a one-off. It's downhill from here " (Abramson et al., 1978).

The Attributional Style Questionnaire is a self-report measure often used to measure explanatory styles and optimism.

Returning to our original question, there are a few potential psychological reasons why we may be pessimistic at specific times, or in general. Learned optimism is the idea that these can be addressed.

How to Improve Optimism

There are a few ways to improve your optimism. Seligman recommends Albert Ellis's ABC technique in Learned Optimism, and it doesn't hurt to know more about the cognitive distortions that need to be changed.

Cognitive distortions - The 3 Ps

Three cognitive distortions tend to underpin the way we understand our experiences: personalization, pervasiveness, and permanence. By tackling these distortions, we can learn to be more optimistic.

Personalization can be thought of as an internal vs. external attribution style. If something bad happens, a pessimist will attribute it to internal factors. They'll see that failure or setback as something that's their fault, personalizing the outcome. Optimists externalize instead; they aren't to blame, and next time may be better.

Pervasiveness describes the global or specific element of adversity or a negative event. A global or pervasive attribution is pessimistic and closely related to catastrophizing. " I did a terrible job; I'll never be hired again - EVER." Someone who views an undesirable outcome as pervasive will also be more inclined to believe that it will impact other aspects of their lives, too. " It means I'm a bad student, too, and unlovable (again)." Optimists see positive events as pervasive, it can be argued, rather than negative ones.

Permanence is about whether we view a negative situation as fleeting or lasting and unchangeable. A pessimistic explanatory style sounds something like: " I'll always be a terrible dancer. It's just who I am." A positive one sounds more like: " I probably didn't dance so well because my leg is currently hurting, but I'll be back on top soon. " The key takeaway here is that the situation or circumstances are not fixed or unchangeable.

How to become more optimistic - The ABC technique

We can change our explanatory styles by challenging these cognitive distortions. In Learned Optimism, Seligman introduces an adapted version of Dr. Albert Ellis's ABC technique. We'll use an example to illustrate how it works.

The acronym ABC refers to:

Antecedents/Adversity - e.g., You're fighting with a friend.
Beliefs/Behavior - e.g., " Wow, I'm an awful friend and always will be."
Consequences - e.g., You don't try to make peace with your friend because you can't change who you are.

Your explanatory style is how you get from A to B, and this is what Seligman argues that we can learn to change. It's where one, two, or all of the three Ps come into play. Which one(s) did you notice here?

Relearning your own ABC process is about becoming more aware of these cognitive distortions or pessimistic explanatory styles, confronting them, and replacing them with more optimistic and adaptive thoughts. Simply understanding these relationships is often the first step to changing the way you think to a more hopeful one (Saelid & Nordahl, 2017).

Read more about Albert Ellis's ABC Model or access our Cognitive Distortions worksheets.

Learned Optimism: Martin Seligman's Book Summary

Learned Optimism starts with an introduction that describes the "pleasant," "engaged," and "meaningful" life - three kinds of happiness that learned optimism could help you achieve.

The pleasant life is about amplifying positive emotion and acquiring the skills to do this.

The engaged life is one where you discover your highest strengths and reshape your life to make the most of them in relationships, leisure, and work.

The meaningful life involves utilizing those strengths to "belong to and serve something you believe is larger than the self" (Seligman, 2006, p. iv).

The book is broken down into three sections: The Quest, The Realms of Life, and Changing.

Seligman (2006) refers to a vast and extensive body of optimism literature to illustrate its beneficial impacts on quality of life, performance, motivation, health, and other life domains. It's a combination of practical techniques about breaking pessimistic habits and replacing them, and a discussion of the skills that optimism involves.

It features a good deal of detail regarding the experiments he was academically involved in and anecdotes about how relevant theories were developed. Learned Optimism also covers the potential dangers of extreme or unrealistic optimism and gives some easy-to-digest pointers on how to be adaptively optimistic, such as:

Being grateful for your blessings

Helping others in greater need than yourself

Challenging the utility of your negative thoughts and beliefs

Tackling negative self-talk head-on

As well as the theory and practical exercises, Seligman's book includes the Learned Optimism Test, which helps the reader understand their existing explanatory styles in greater depth. He also includes some material about how to cultivate optimism in children that caregivers, educators, and parents will likely find valuable.

You can find the book Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life on Amazon.

The Learned Optimism Test

Chapter 3 of Learned Optimism features a 48-item test that can assess the three dimensions of your explanatory style: personalization, pervasiveness, and permanence.

For each, you're asked to imagine each situation happening to you and select the response that best describes what you would think. Here are some examples. Note that some items are reverse-scored (Seligman, 2006).

1. You run for a community office position, and you win. (Pervasiveness)

1. I devote a lot of time and energy to campaigning.

2. I work very hard at everything I do.

2. You forget your partner's birthday. (Personalization)

1. I'm not good at remembering birthdays.

2. I was preoccupied with other things.

3. You owe the library $10 for an overdue book. (Permanence)

1. When I am really involved in what I am reading, I often forget when it's due.

2. I was so involved in writing the report that I forgot to return the book.

5 Learned Optimism Exercises

Since learned optimism can be learned, pun intended, we discuss five exercises that will help your clients change their mindset and their life.

1. Exploring Explanatory Styles

This Exploring Explanatory Styles exercise from our Positive Psychology Toolkit© is designed to help you or your client experience the difference between interpreting and explaining events in everyday life.

Part One of this activity involves visualizing a hypothetical adverse scenario from a pessimistic point of view, then from an optimistic one. You are asked to imagine you've faced a setback, and then the exercise guides you through different elements of the situation that you can consider.

It uses the ideas of permanence, pervasiveness, and personalization to help you see it from both explanatory styles. Then it provides some evaluation questions to trigger self-reflection, for example:

Was there a difference in how you felt in each of these mindsets?

Did one mode feel more familiar to you than the other? If so, which?

In Part Two, you repeat the same steps with a positive hypothetical. The table below gives a concise overview of the concepts at play:

Optimistic explanatory style

Pessimistic explanatory style

Positive life event

Permanent
Pervasive
Personal/Internal

Temporary
Local
General/External

Negative life event

Temporary
Local
General/External

Permanent
Pervasive
Personal

2. Thought Record Worksheet

Tackling cognitive distortions, as we mentioned, is part of learning to be more optimistic. This involves being aware of your thoughts, trying to be objective about them, and challenging them (Miller, 2001).

You can use this worksheet to record negative thoughts and look at whether some of them are related to any of the 3 Ps. Then you come up with evidence to support the thought and evidence that contradicts it.

For example, if you missed your son's basketball game, your thought might be, " I am a terrible mother who will never be there for her son. "

You might then consider the evidence at hand - e.g., you got stuck in traffic - and come up with a more adaptive thought, such as, " That road construction was to blame, and next time I'll leave earlier to be on time."

Here is our free Thought Record Worksheet.

3. ABC Functional Analysis

As we've discussed, the ABC technique can help you understand what underpins your behavior and its consequences.

There are three columns for Antecedents, Behavior, and Consequences on this sheet, and you can use it to explore your explanatory style in both positive and negative situations.

Using the information in our How to Improve Optimism section, you may find this worksheet helpful in challenging a pessimistic explanatory style when you become aware of it.

4. Tapping Into Your Inner Optimist

The extent to which you can successfully influence your explanatory style has an impact on how you experience the event both affectively and behaviorally. The Tapping Into Your Inner Optimist exercise aims to help you explore the difference between attending to negative or positive information.

It helps you become aware of your ability to view situations from a particular perspective.

The first step is called Tapping Into Your Inner Pessimist, and you'll ask yourself questions such as:

What were some things that annoyed you this week?
What difficulties did you face at work?

The second step involves taking a more optimistic approach to viewing your week:

What were some things that made you feel happy, excited, or joyful?
What is one thing that made you proud of yourself?

Finally, you'll evaluate your experience in the final step. This sheet gives you reflection prompts, such as:

How did it feel to embody your optimistic mindset? What did you notice?
How could you use your insights from this exercise in your daily life?

Get Tapping Into Your Inner Optimist and many more exercises by subscribing to our Toolkit.

5. The Best Possible Self

Research has shown that visualizing and writing about your Best Possible Self can have positive outcomes.

The Best Possible Self exercise requires people to envision themselves in an imaginary future in which everything has turned out optimally. Writing about and imagining a Best Possible Self has been found to boost people's wellbeing and mood (King, 2001; Peters, Flink, Boersma, & Linton, 2010; Meevissen et al., 2011).

This exercise invites you to envision your life the way you always hoped it would be, having accomplished everything you wanted to do and fulfilled your potential. Write as much as you like before working through the guided reflection, which asks you questions such as:

How does this exercise affect your current self-image?
Did this exercise motivate or inspire you?
How did this exercise open you to possibilities?

Get The Best Possible Self and many more exercises by subscribing to our Toolkit.

3 Videos to Watch

Here are some insightful videos about optimism. If you want to learn more or get a visual overview of the concepts in this article, check these out.

1. Learned Optimism by Martin Seligman

This video gives a brief overview of optimism and pessimism, along with good examples to clarify.

2. Dr. Seligman's Definition of Optimism

Martin Seligman describes why optimism is more than just a "glass half full" perspective. He answers a few questions on the topic and talks about explanatory styles.

3. Learned Optimism - How to Change Your Mind Audiobook

This is one to bookmark, as it's the Learned Optimism book in audio format.

A Take-Home Message

Do you feel like you could learn to be more optimistic? Have you successfully challenged negative thought patterns? How do you feel about the benefits of optimism, and do you consider yourself optimistic? Let us know what you think of our learned optimism exercises and the theory we've been looking at together; I'd love to hear your thoughts and opinions in the comments below.

If you're keen to find out more about mindset and optimism, have a look at the optimism section on our blog. And as always, let us know if you have any questions or would like to learn more about the tools and lessons in our Positive Psychology Toolkit. Thanks for reading!

We hope you enjoyed reading this article. Don't forget to download our three Positive Psychology Exercises for free.

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We include products we think are useful for our readers. If you buy through links on this page, we may earn a small commission. Here's our process.

If you deal with anxiety, there are strategies you can use to avoid feeling consumed by it. Here are some quick solutions to help you address the situation immediately, as well as long-term methods to combat a recurring issue.

Know that feeling of your heart beating faster in response to a stressful situation? Or perhaps, your palms get sweaty when you're confronted with an overwhelming task or event.

That's anxiety - our body's natural response to stress.

If you haven't recognized your triggers yet, here are a few common ones: your first day at a new job, meeting your partner's family, or giving a presentation in front of a lot of people. Everyone has different triggers, and identifying them is one of the most important steps to coping with and managing anxiety attacks.

Identifying your triggers can take some time and self-reflection. In the meantime, there are things you can do to try to help calm or quiet your anxiety from taking over.

If your anxiety is sporadic and getting in the way of your focus or tasks, there are some quick natural remedies that could help you take control of the situation.

If your anxiety is focused around a situation, such as being worried about an upcoming event, you may notice the symptoms are short-lived and usually subside after the anticipated event takes place.

1. Question your thought pattern

Negative thoughts can take root in your mind and distort the severity of the situation. One way is to challenge your fears, ask if they're true, and see where you can take back control.

2. Practice focused, deep breathing

Try breathing in for 4 counts and breathing out for 4 counts for 5 minutes total. By evening out your breath, you'll slow your heart rate which should help calm you down.

The 4-7-8 technique is also known to help anxiety.

3. Use aromatherapy

Whether they're in essential oil form, incense, or a candle, natural scents like lavender, chamomile, and sandalwood can be very soothing.

Aromatherapy is thought to help activate certain receptors in your brain, potentially easing anxiety.

4. Go for a walk or do 15 minutes of yoga

Sometimes, the best way to stop anxious thoughts is to walk away from the situation. Taking some time to focus on your body and not your mind may help relieve your anxiety.

Getting some quick exercise can help boost your mood and calm your mind.

5. Write down your thoughts

Writing down what's making you anxious gets it out of your head and can make it less daunting.

These relaxation tricks are particularly helpful for those who experience anxiety sporadically. They may also work well with someone who has generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) when they're in a bind!

However, if you suspect you have GAD, quick coping methods shouldn't be the only kind of treatment you employ. You'll want to find long-term strategies to help lessen the severity of symptoms and even prevent them from happening.

If anxiety is a regular part of your life, it's important to find treatment strategies to help you keep it in check. It might be a combination of things, like talk therapy and meditation, or it might just be a matter of cutting out or resolving your anxiety trigger.

If you're not sure where to start, it's always helpful to discuss options with a mental health professional who might suggest something you hadn't thought of before.

1. Identify and learn to manage your triggers

You can identify triggers on your own or with a therapist. Sometimes they can be obvious, like caffeine, drinking alcohol, or smoking. Other times they can be less obvious.

Long-term problems, such as financial or work-related situations, may take some time to figure out - is it a due date, a person, or the situation? This may take some extra support, through therapy or with friends.

When you do figure out your trigger, you should try to limit your exposure if you can. If you can't limit it - like if it's due to a stressful work environment that you can't currently change - using other coping techniques may help.

2. Adopt cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)

CBT helps people learn different ways of thinking about and reacting to anxiety-causing situations. A therapist can help you develop ways to change negative thought patterns and behaviors before they spiral.

3. Do a daily or routine meditation

While this takes some practice to do successfully, mindful meditation, when done regularly, can eventually help you train your brain to dismiss anxious thoughts when they arise.

If sitting still and concentrating is difficult, try starting with yoga, or walking meditation. There are many free guided meditations on apps like InsightTimer that can help you get started.

4. Keep a journal

It can be helpful to create a habit of writing down your thoughts and emotions in a journal each day. The process of writing down thoughts itself can be calming for some.

However, it can also help you keep track of when you experience anxiety, how it makes you feel, and what sort of things trigger it.

5. Socialize

Although each person is different, and some people experience social anxiety, spending time with friends and family on a regular basis may help you manage your anxiety.

Socialization can help relieve stress, encourage feelings of laughter and togetherness, and decrease loneliness. has shown that social connectedness can help you become more resilient to stress in the long run.

6. Try supplements or change your diet

Changing your diet or taking supplements is definitely a long-term strategy. Research shows certain supplements or nutrients can help anxiety reduction.

These include:

However, it can take a few months before your body is actually running on the nutrition these herbs and foods provide. If you're taking other medications, make sure to discuss herbal remedies with your doctor as there can be adverse reactions.

7. Keep your body and mind healthy

Exercising regularly, eating balanced meals, getting enough sleep, and staying connected to people who care about you are great ways to stave off anxiety symptoms.

8. Ask your doctor about medications

If your anxiety is severe enough that your mental health practitioner believes you'd benefit from medication, there are a number of directions to go, depending on your symptoms. Discuss your concerns with your doctor.

Identifying what sort of anxiety you're dealing with can be somewhat challenging because how one's body reacts to perceived danger can be entirely different compared to another person.

It's likely you heard anxiety as a blanket term for that general feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease. It's often a feeling in response to an upcoming event that has an uncertain outcome.

Every person deals with it at one time or another, because it's part of our brain's response to a perceived danger - even if that danger isn't real.

That said, there are times anxiety can get serious and turn into anxiety attacks that initially feel manageable and then gradually build up over a few hours. (This is different from a panic attack, which is out of the blue and subsides.)

Signs of an anxiety attack

These are some of the more common mental and physical symptoms of anxiety:

It's also possible to experience an anxiety and panic attack simultaneously. The quick coping strategies mentioned above may also help with a panic attack.

Other mindful strategies to cope with panic attacks include focusing on an object, repeating a mantra, closing your eyes, and going to your "happy" place.

If you notice that quick tips haven't been working, you may want to consider seeing a professional for help. Especially if you believe you have GAD and it's interfering with routine activities and causing physical symptoms.

A mental health professional can help with streamlining the process of identifying your triggers, maintaining long-term strategies through behavioral therapy, medications, and more.

Anxiety may always be a part of your life, but it shouldn't overtake your day-to-day. Even the most extreme anxiety disorders can be treated so that the symptoms aren't overwhelming.

Once you find what treatment works best for you, life should be a lot more enjoyable and a lot less daunting.

Read this article in Spanish.

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How to Cope with Anxiety: 13 Simple Tips

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This post points out which Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) personality types are the most compatible with each other.

In personality assessments, the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) is an introspective self-report questionnaire indicating differing preferences in how people perceive and behave. The assessment is constructed by Katharine Cook Briggs and her daughter Isabel Briggs Myers.

The test attempts to assign four categories: introversion or extraversion, sensing or intuition, thinking or feeling, judging or perceiving. The assigned categories are clubbed to form the personality. The 16 personalities are

* INFJ * INFP * ENFJ * ENFP * INTJ * INTP * ENTJ * ENTP

* ISFJ * ISFP * ESFJ * ESFP * ISTJ * ISTP * ESTJ * ESTP

16 personalities compatibility chart

16 personalities compatibility

INFP - ENFJ ENTJ

INFP types are Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Perceiving.

INFPs are drawn to ENTJs because of their desire, intensity, and leadership ability. INFPs attract ENTJs because of their warmth, honesty, and innovative thoughts.

INFPs are drawn to ENFJs because of their charisma, thoughtfulness, and supportive nature. ENFJs are good at drawing others out of their shells and motivating them to take action. INFPs appeal to ENFJs because they are peaceful, genuine, playful, and easygoing. INFPs can assist ENFJs in relaxing and slowing down on occasion.

ENFP- INFJ INTJ

Extroverted, Intuitive Feeling, Perceiving

The intellectual, determined, and composed nature of INTJs attracts ENFPs. They're bursting with new ideas, and INTJs can assist ENFPs in turning them into actionable plans. ENFPs appeal to INTJs because they are playful, fun, and cheerful. ENFPs can motivate INTJs to try new things by encouraging them to do so.

ENFPs are drawn to INFJs because of their depth, thoughtfulness, and kindness. They may lack direction at times, and INFJs can assist ENFPs in becoming more grounded and concentrated. ENFPs attract INFJs because of their positive, open, and inquisitive attitude.

INFJ - ENFP ENTP

Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Judging

The intellect, confidence, and enthusiasm of ENTPs appeal to INFJs. INFJs thrive from ENTPs since they push them out of their comfort zones. The peaceful, receptive, and imaginative demeanour of INFJs attracts ENTPs. INFJs can assist ENTPs in staying on course, and they frequently spend hours in deep, profound conversations.

ENFPs attract INFJs because of their positive, open, and inquisitive attitude. ENFPs assist INFJs in letting go and enjoying life. They are drawn to INFJs because of their depth, thoughtfulness, and kindness.

ENFJ - INFP ISFP ENFJ

Extroverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Judging

INTPs connect to ENFJs because they are grounded, reasonable, and easygoing. INTPs can assist ENFJs in seeing things from new perspectives. INTPs are drawn to ENFJs because of their warm, empathic, and open character.

INFPs appeal to ENFJs because they are peaceful, genuine, playful, and easygoing. INFPs can support ENFJs in relaxing and slowing down on occasion. INFPs have a tendency to get lost in their own little world, but ENFJs are effective at rescuing them and urging them to take action

INTJ - ENFP ENTP

Introverted, Intuitive, Thinking, Judging

ENFPs are attracted to INTJs because they are playful, fun, and cheerful. ENFPs can motivate INTJs to try new things by encouraging them to do so. They are drawn to INTJs because of their smart, resolute, and calm nature. ENFPs have a lot of new ideas, and INTJs can assist them turn those ideas into actual strategies.

The ENTPs' lively, innovative, and enthusiastic attitude attracts INTJs. ENTPs introduce INTJs to new ideas, which leads to lively discussions. INTJs know how to keep ENTPs interested and how to deal with them.

ENTJ - INFP INTP

Extroverted, Intuitive, Thinking, Judging

INFPs are drawn to ENTJs because of their desire, intensity, and leadership ability. INFPs have a lot of innovative ideas, and ENTJs can assist them plan how to make their goals a reality.

INTPs appeal to ENTJs because of their inventiveness, adaptability, and down-to-earth personality. Because ENTJs value their intelligence, INTPs can be a great sounding board for them. INTPs are drawn to ENTJs because of their proactive, smart, and decisive attitude. INTPs have a lot of good ideas, and ENTJs can assist them convert them into plans.

INTP - ENTJ ESTJ

Introverted, Intuitive, Thinking, Perceiving

INTPs can benefit from ENFJs' understanding of emotions (both their own and others'). INTPs appeal to ENFJs because they are grounded, reasonable, and easygoing.

INTPs are drawn to ENTJs because of their proactive, smart, and decisive attitude. INTPs have a lot of amazing ideas, and ENTJs can make them come true. INTPs appeal to ENTJs because of their creativity, adaptability, and down-to-earth personality. Because ENTJs value their intelligence, INTPs can be a great sounding board for them.

ENTP - INTJ ENTP

Extroverted, Intuitive, Thinking, Perceiving

ENTPs are attracted to the calm, receptive and imaginative nature of INFJs. INFJs can help keep ENTPs on track and they often spend hours engaging in deep, meaningful conversations. INFJs are attracted to the intellect, confidence, and energy of ENTPs.

ENTPs are attracted to the determined, intense, and strong-minded nature of INTJs. INTJs can keep ENTPs interested and know how to handle them. INTJs are attracted to the dynamic, innovative, and enthusiastic nature of ENTPs. ENTPs introduce INTJs to new concepts which makes for stimulating conversations.

ISFP - ENFJ ESFJ ESTJ

Introvert, Sensing, Feeling, Perceiving

ISFPs are drawn to ESFJs because of their stability, dependability, and loyalty. ISFPs benefit from ESFJs' assistance in developing clear plans to achieve their goals. ISFPs appeal to ESFJs because of their artistic, sensuous, and free-spirited temperament. ISFPs can assist ESFJs in learning to go with the flow and see that they don't always need to have a plan.

ISFPs are drawn to ESTJs because of their measured, assured, and committed attitude. ISFPs connect to ESTJs because they are adaptive, enthusiastic, and imaginative. ISFPs assist ESTJs in becoming less rigid and embracing spontaneity on occasion.

ESFP - ISFJ ISTJ

Extroverted, Sensing, Feeling, Perceiving

ESFPs are attracted to the dependable, determined, and hard-working nature of ISTJs. ISTJs can help ESFPs organize their lives and are extremely supportive partners. ISTJs are attracted to the friendly, warm and excitable nature of ESFPs. ESFPs can help ISTJs express their feelings, which doesn't come naturally to ISTJs.

ESFPs are attracted to the thoughtfulness, calmness, and loyal nature of ISFJs. ISFJs can help ESFPs to take time to reflect rather than always jumping into action. ISFJs are attracted to the bubbly, excitable, and perceptive nature of ESFPs. ESFPs encourage ISFJs to mix things up a bit and step out of their comfort zone.

ISTP - ESFJ ESTJ

Introverted, Sensing, Thinking Perceiving

ISTPs are attracted to the sociable, caring, and approachable nature of ESFJs. In a social sense, ESFJs urge ISTPs to venture beyond of their comfort zone. ESFJs are drawn to ISTPs because of their calm, realistic, and quiet confidence. ISTPs can assist ESFJs in realising that they don't always need to be in the company of others to have a good time.

The straightforward, ambitious, and dedicated personality of ESTJs attracts ISTPs. ESTJs can assist ISTPs in determining their purpose and channelling their abilities. The hands-on, subtle, and flexible style of ISTPs appeals to ESTJs. The urge for ESTJs to be highly structured and plan everything is balanced by ISTPs.

ESTP - ISFJ ISTJ

Extroverted, Sensing, Thinking, Perceiving

ESTPs are attracted to the stability, security, and nurture that ISFJs provide. ISFJs offer a warm and welcoming safe-haven for ESTPs amongst the chaos of their everyday lives. ISFJs are attracted to the confident, dynamic and resilient nature of ESTPs. ESTPs help make life exciting and fun for ISFJs.

ESTPs are attracted to the steady, determined, hard-working nature of ISTJs. ISTJs can help ESTPs keeps their lives in order and they are extremely supportive partners. ISTJs are attracted to the confident, quick-witted and charming nature of ESTPs. ESTPs can help ISTJs try new things and be spontaneous once in a while.

ISFJ - ESFP ESTP

Introverted, Sensing, Feeling, Judging

The cheerful, energetic, and insightful personality of ESFPs attracts ISFJs. ISFJs appeal to ESFPs because of their thoughtfulness, tranquilly, and loyalty. ISFJs can assist ESTPs in taking time to reflect rather than leaping into action right away.

The confident, lively, and resilient nature of ESTPs attracts ISFJs. For ISFJs, ESTPs make life exciting and enjoyable. ISFJs prefer ESTPs because they provide stability, security, and nurturing. In the midst of the craziness of their daily life, ISFJs provide a warm and welcome safe haven for ESTPs.

ESFJ - ISFP ISTP

Extroverted, Sensing, Feeling, Judging

ESFJs are attracted to the artistic, sensual, and free-spirited nature of ISFPs. ISFPs can help ESFJs to go with the flow and realize that they don't have to always have a plan. ISFPs are attracted to the stable, dependable, and loyal nature of ESFJs. ESFJs help ISFPs come up with concrete plans to achieve their dreams.

ESFJs are attracted to the level-headed, practical, and quietly confident nature of ISTPs. ISTPs can help ESFJs realize that they don't always need to be around people to have a great time. ISTPs are attracted to the sociable, caring, and approachable nature of ESFJs. ESFJs encourage ISTPs to get out there and step out of their comfort zone.

ISTJ - ESFP ESTP

Introverted, Sensing, Thinking, Judging

ISTJs are attracted to the friendly, warm and excitable nature of ESFPs. ESFPs can help ISTJs express their feelings, which does not come naturally to ISTJs. ESFPs are attracted to the dependable, determined, and hard-working nature of ISTJs. ISTJs can help ESFPs organize their lives and are extremely supportive partners.

ISTJs are attracted to the spontaneity, rationality, and quick-wittedness of ESTPs. ESTPs encourage ISTJs to take risks and break up their routine every now and again. ESTPs are attracted to the dedicated, loyal, and quietly self-assured nature of ISTJs. ISTJs can help ESTPs plan for the future instead of taking things as they come.

ESTJ - ISFP ISTP

Extroverted, Sensing, Thinking, Judging

ISFPs are attracted to ESTJs because they are adaptive, enthusiastic, and imaginative. ISFPs help ESTJs in becoming less rigid and embracing spontaneity on occasion. ISFPs are drawn to ESTJs because of their measured, assured, and committed attitude. ESTJs help ISFPs add some structure to their lives.

The hands-on and flexible style of ISTPs appeals to ESTJs. The urge for ESTJs to be highly structured and plan everything is balanced by ISTPs. The straightforward, ambitious, and dedicated personality of ESTJs attracts ISTPs. ISTPs can benefit from ESTJs' guidance in finding a direction and channeling their talents.

Conclusion

The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator is based on four main factors: Introversion/Extroversion, Intuition/Sensing, Feeling/Thinking, and Judging/Perceiving, making for 16 distinct personality archetypes.

The fewer qualities you share with someone, the less likely you are to be compatible (though there are, of course, exceptions to this). Opposites can and do attract, and sometimes, people who share all four qualities are still far from an ideal match.

Frequently asked questions about 16 personalities compatibility chart

Can you have 2 MBTI types?

Yes we can have two MBTI types but only if you have a turbulent personality. Turbulent meaning is unstable and that is why they usually have two types

What MBTI are most serial killers?

ENTP and ISTP are the two types we frequently find among serial killers. INTJ and ESTJ are the next on the list.

Each of the personality types are compatible with different occupations. For example, ESFJs are most compatible with: office manager, museum curator, medical researcher.

References

Alderson, J. (2021). The Complete Guide to Personality Type Compatibility | So Syncd. So Syncd - Personality Dating. Retrieved from https://www.sosyncd.com/the-complete-guide-to-personality-type-compatibility/.

Dreams Around The World. About Dreams Around The World and Our Mission. Retrieved from https://www.dreamsaroundtheworld.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/Myers_Briggs_Type_Compatibility_Chart.pdf

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16 Personalities Compatibility Chart (A Guide) | OptimistMinds

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This post points out which Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) personality types are the most compatible with each other. In personality assessments, the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) is an introspective self-report questionnaire indicating differing preferences in how people perceive and behave. The assessment is constructed by Katharine Cook Briggs and her daughter Isabel Briggs Myers.