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How would you address one of the reasons why John smoke was that he saw his Mum smoking?

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A Secondary 2 student who mixed with the wrong company was found smoking outside school. She often returned home late without informing her parents of her whereabouts. She also had conflicts with friends in and outside school. In school, her form teachers worked closely to support and monitor her. Sometimes, spot checks were conducted for cigarettes in the hope of deterring her from smoking. Besides the school’s efforts, we knew that we would need to involve her parents in order to provide a more holistic support for the child. We invited her parents to school and discussed ways to help her. Initially, her mother felt that the school was not doing enough especially with regard to her safety after school. We decided that at the end of the day, a teacher would accompany the student to the General Office. She would then be picked up by her domestic helper. Close communication was made between the school and her parents in coordinating the time for her dismissal daily.

Some teachers who were involved were concerned that the school was being too indulgent in meeting the parents’ demands as such arrangement was deemed to be a ‘special privilege’.

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What are your thoughts on some of the teachers being concerned that the school is being 'too indulgent'?

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What other way(s) can the school do to better support the student?

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Earlier this year, we have a Secondary Two student, John (not his real name) whose peers told us that he smoked and vaped. During the conversations with the Level Discipline Teacher, John cried and confessed honestly to the offences. When asked "Who will be affected by his wrong actions?", he mentioned his Mum, a single parent, whom he lives with and loves the most. He shared that his greatest fear, at that moment, was the disappointment that Mum would have of him. He was also fearful that his Mum would reject him.

As Mum is usually busy at work, John is left mostly on his own to be with his friends. John was regretful, and the reason why he smoked was that he saw his Mum and friends smoking. Underage smoking and possession of cigarettes are considered as serious offences and one of the consequences he faced is caning.

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In preparation to meet John’s mum, what are some of the concerns that you have with regards to John? (Can be from perspective of a form teacher, Year Heads, SM team, Counsellor, etc.)

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What is the police stance on vaping? Same as cigarettes?

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If it continues, it will negatively impact his school life, health and also his school mates.

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1. Acknowledge his fears and concerns.

2. Lack of support at home.

3. How will mum react to John? What can be done as a preventive measure?

4. Managing of negative peer pressure.

5. Counsel John on the logical consequence of his action and how to move forward from the incident.

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Arrangement has to serve a purpose. And should not be the only solution?

Indulgent if this arrangement lasts a long time

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- letter from HPB
- no supervision at home
- peer influences and interaction (who did he get the stuff from)
- reaction of mother (two possible scenarios; aggressive reaction and permissive)

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Manage the mother reaction and work with the mother and child to help John change. The fact that John is worried about disappointing his mother means John still got hope and can be saved.

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Manage the mother reaction and work with the mother and child to help John change. The fact that John is worried about disappointing his mother means John still got hope and can be saved.

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These are short term solutions.
1. Parents must play their part. The child can just go out after reaching home and there is no one at home watching over her.

2. These measures are not sustainable in the long run as the child does not understand the consequences of her actions.

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Engage her after school on some days to keep her in school.

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It's not indulgent as the school has the responsibility to look after the well-being of all students.

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It's not indulgent as the school has the responsibility to look after the well-being of all students.

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1. Speak with mum separately on concerns and get buy-in from mum in terms of working together for John’s good.

2. Leverage on the fact that John is feeling guilty and acknowledges his wrong-doing.

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The parent needs to step up her effort instead of relying on the school. The child is able to return  late. That is indicative of lax and permissive parenting.

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It is indulgent as this arrangement is not sustainable for a long. What is the student learning from this?

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We think that the student should not be escorted. Instead the office and the student has log books to note down of the timings the student leaves the school. The check out timings should include school chop for verification. In the event student did not verify their check out timings, school should impose consequences.

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Speak to And advise John about making choices. Foremost, it’s illegal for him to smoke at his age. And even if he reaches legal age (such as mum), explore reasons why someone might smoke and what some other options are.

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Give the student his voice to share which arrangement is suitable for him. If the arrangement is not followed, punitive consequences can then be met out

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This kind of support is rendered on a case-by-case basis. It doesn't sound like it's too "indulgent" a move if the parents genuinely require additional support (if they are really occupied at work). However, the parents should also be actively engaged and involved in the close monitoring and discipline of the child. After school hours, it may be hard for teachers to support this arrangement in the long term so we need parents to understand this too.