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Between the time of birth to the age of 18 months, a child is faced with the uncertainty of having his needs which include feeding, physical touch and consistent attention met. In this stage, based on how these needs are addressed by his caregiver, the child develops a sense of trust and hope that difficulties in life will eventually lead to positive results. Martorell (2023) argues that at this stage, “Baby develops sense of whether world is a good and safe place” (p. 13). Mistrust is developed when these needs are neglected. However, while diligent efforts are needed to meet the child's needs, overindulgent can also cause problems. According to Martorell (2023), "The critical element in developing trust is sensitive, responsive,

consistent caregiving" (p. 150).

Mike recalls how having his mother take care of him especially at a time when he was very sick played a significant role in his adoration of his mum. Through her efforts in meeting his needs, the basic conflict that permeates during that period was resolved with trust.

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Early Childhood: Autonomy vs. Shame and Doubt

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Early Childhood: Autonomy vs. Shame and Doubt

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This occurs between the age of 2 to 3 years. The child starts to notice and apply his abilities to carry out physical activities and control of bodily functions on its own. In her work, Martorell (2023) stated that “in toddlerhood, the critical theme is autonomy, or a sense of agency and independence” (p. 14). The feeling of independence and pride in successfully accomplishing tasks on their own goes a long way in their emotional and mental growth. Caregivers are tasked with finding the delicate balance between letting the child be independent and providing support. The feeling of autonomy is created when the child is successful on those tasks while shame and doubt develops when they fail and are overly-criticized.

When he was about 3 years old, Mike fell from his bike while driving around his family's yard. He looked at his mum sitting nearby as he tried to get up and remount the bike. He vividly remembered the warm smile on her face which motivated him to get up and try again. This led to a strong belief in his abilities.

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Between the age of 3 to 5, as children becomes more physically active, they want to organize activities and events with their friends. Martorell (2023) stated that "preschool children can do—and want to do—more and more. At the same time, they are learning that some of the things they want to do meet social approval, whereas others do not" (p. 210). Successful completion with the the right amount of support from parents lead to confidence in their initiative. However, they may occasionally exert too much powerful and cross the line when trying to have their way which may lead to disapproval and a sense of guilt. She also argues that "Children who learn how to regulate these opposing drives develop the virtue of purpose, the courage to envision and pursue goals without being unduly inhibited by guilt or fear of punishment" (Martorell, 2023, p. 210).

My friend's account of going on a playdate with his friends against his mom's instruction led to him being grounded for a few weeks. This led to a sense of guilt in thinking he was a bad child.

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During the period of age 6 to 11, social and academic demands are at the fore-front of the child's growth. Here, they are tasked with learning to read and write and developing healthy interactions with classmates and friends. Successful accomplishment of these tasks lead to development of good self-esteem and competent, while constant struggles promotes the feeling of inferiority and doubt in their cognitive abilities. This is in accordance with "if children are unable to obtain the praise of others or

lack motivation and self-esteem, they may develop a feeling of low self-worth and thus develop a sense of inferiority. This is problematic because during middle childhood, children must learn skills valued in their society" (Martorell, 2023, p. 276).

Mike recalls having as sense of inferiority among this classmates during that period due to his constant struggles with basic math which played significant role in his dislike for school during that period.

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Adolescence: Identity vs. Role Confusion

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Adolescence: Identity vs. Role Confusion

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The search for identity and purpose is at the heart of the activities, goals and beliefs undertaken during the period of 12 to 18 years. This need is emphasized by Martorell (2023) "the search for identity-a coherent conception of the self made up of goals, values, and beliefs to which the

person is solidly committed-comes into focus during the teenage years" (p. 336). The outcomes of their explorations lead to the identity they choose. Principles and the ability to stay true to one self occurs when this is successfully accomplished while failure leads to self-doubt and and confusion as to what their purpose is.

Mike remembers his struggle to fit in with his friends he had during the period he joined a music band due to his inability to perform well. He joined the band hoping he will feel good about himself despite his talents and skills lying somewhere else.

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From age 18 to 40, importance is placed in the cultivating and nurturing of healthy life-long relationships. Longer commitments to people are developed which can foster personal development and growth. Martorell (2023) stated that “person seeks to make commitments to others or may suffer from isolation and self-absorption” (p. 13). If one is successful, life-long friendships are developed while failure leads to loneliness and feelings of isolation.

Mike recounts how friendships he developed during his undergraduate studies played significant role in his development. Some of the friends he made during those period has been his support during hard times and also godparents to his kids.

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Middle Adulthood: Generativity vs Stagnation

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Middle Adulthood: Generativity vs Stagnation

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The need to develop a legacy that will outlast oneself is the motivating factor in one's action between age 40 to 65 years. This is inline with Martorell (2023), “mature adult is concerned with establishing and guiding the next generation or else feels personal impoverishment” (p.13). This is reflected in having an nurturing children, volunteering and community activities, philanthropy and mentoring. Being successful at these things leads to a sense of fulfillment and alignment with the bigger picture while failure leads to feelings of having an unremarkable existence.

Mike takes pride in his commitment and devotion in his church and the activities his church carries out which includes community development and helping the underprivileged.

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From age 65, older adults spend significant time reflecting on their lives, accomplishments and impact. Success in this stage through measuring their accomplishments using the right barometer leads to the feelings of wisdom and sense of completeness. However, failure encountered at this stage causes guilt, sadness, depression and despair. In her work, Martorell (2023) stated that “elderly person achieves acceptance of own life, allowing acceptance of death, or else despairs over inability to relive life” (p.13).

In my conversation with Mike during his 72 years birthday, he talks about being grateful for the life he has lived and the lessons he has taught others from his life experiences.

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Martorell, G. (2023). Child 3e. McGraw Hill.