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Dr Neeta Ramkumar

Licensed Psychologist, Consultant & Founder of Psychology Across Borders

Indo-Carribean American

TCK: “Home” is in

5 US states, 7 countries, and 6 continents (counting Oceania)

Lives between Cameroon & France

As far as I know, there is no evidence-based reasons for cultural/racially matching clients. There is evidence for linguistic matching...But this is one of my issues: there is what we know and what the research says. And what we know is that this can make the difference between someone walking in the door or not. What we know is that people won't even access mental health services unless they feel like someone gets them.

There is a level of comfort that comes through cultural matching. The studies are not accessing that. They don't follow up on the dropout. This is what we deal with in the world outside of the lab.

The majority of my clients seek me because of cultural matching. I am one of the few faces of color in the international therapist directory. There is something about their experience that they feel like they have not been able to explore even if they found therapy helpful.

As someone from a mixed background, I don't know anyone that has my unique cultural make-up because of the different layers. So even if it looks like we match culturally, this may not be the case. I have to tap into the shared immigrant experience or shared TCK experience. I think it's reassuring to know it doesn't have to be a perfect culture match. It really could just be a push for us to have more and deeper u﻿nderstanding for belonging needs; these in-between spaces for people that don't fit into a box.

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Dominique (she/her)

Linden Client Matching Coordinator & Counselor

Nationality: South Africa, Zambia

Living in Germany

Because of my background, which is quite similar to some parents’ experiences…. I often find myself connecting with families on a personal level. For instance, one family I spoke with specifically sought to connect with me because the child’s mother is in a job that requires annual relocation. They felt that my background and experiences made me a suitable counselor for their child, someone they could relate to. Children often have a say in choosing their counselor, and I’ve observed instances where they consider factors like the counselor’s language proficiency, cultural background, and experiences. It’s been interesting to see how children sometimes select counselors based on these criteria. Additionally, we receive requests from families where, even though the child can speak English, they prefer a counselor who speaks their native language. For example, a family from Israel may feel more comfortable with a counselor who speaks Hebrew.

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"So the reason why I chose a counselor who spoke both English and French is because that way I feel I know her better and she is already a friend..."

-10 year old student

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Amanda Bates

TCK, Founder of The Black Expat & The Global Chatter - a podcast focusing on international living from Black and Brown perspectives.

I absolutely think that there is such a need for Black school counselors in international settings because too often we don't see a diverse leadership and diverse administrators and diverse educators in these schools that are reflective of the student population. So as a Black TCK, as someone who went to international schools, I think yes, there are great counselors who are able to deliver cross-cultural competency but also I think we have to think about messaging and we also have to think about what do we say when we say we are an international environment but our staff does not reflect that. That being said, there are nuances to certain experiences that often educators, who are working with students, especially students who are in the majority can tap on that maybe an individual who is not part of that group can not see.

I think particularly when we talk about race and ethnicity and we have students who are going into colleges in countries that are different from theirs that are very racialized, there is something to be said about counselors who can help prepare students for walking into those environments because they understand the experiences of those who have been minoritized and have grown up and lived in those spaces....

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S (she/her)

International School Alumni

Nationality: French, American

Full blog: www.linden-education.com/post/life-as-a-third-culture-kid-tck

I think it’s difficult for a lot of kids with mixed cultures, trying to explain their own internalized confusion, even without the pressures of others trying to tell them who they are.

I’m trying to work on telling myself and others that I am enough, that my opinion is valid, and that my identity is my own to create.

I think that it’s incredibly important to teach young kids their heritage, to show them that they can have multiple cultures, and each one is just as valid as the other. Culture and heritage shape the very essence of who we are, and as such, change as we do.

The same way we learn our parents' cultures, we form our own. A culture that isn’t half of one, or the other, but both.

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Brook

International School Counselor

March 2023

I oversee the Peacemakers group at a school in South Korea. It's essentially a Peer Mediator group based on Restorative Practice. The majority of our students are ethnically and culturally Korean. One day we were discussing "I Statements" and got into a fascinating conversation about how Koreans would usually never start a sentence with "I." Because it is such a collectivist culture, statements will usually start with the other or the group. They discussed how using an I Statement in the Korean context would probably feel offensive, abrupt and shameful. We talked in depth about how to modify an I Statement to make it more culturally appropriate and determined that instead of saying something like "I felt angry when you didn't meet me for lunch," you would say "When you didn't meet me for lunch, I felt angry." It was a simple switch in the language, but a massive switch in terms of how the language would be interpreted and thus pave the way for a much more productive conversation.

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Oulaya (she/her)

International School Counselor

Nationality: Lebanon

Speaks Arabic, French, English

Lives in Italy

I work with a nine-year-old-boy who has behavioral problems at school. He does not follow directions, and does what he pleases. He was placed on a rigid behavioral plan in school but it was still not working. I met with the mom, who is a wonderful young lady with five children ranging from 5 months to 12 years. I soon figured that the mom was overwhelmed with all the responsibilities she has with her big family and lacked capacity. Plus, English was not her first language.

Being able to speak her language [Arabic], understand her culture, her concerns as a mom, her religious beliefs and expectations etc. are powerful factors that played into the success of the sessions with the child. I worked with the child, the school, and the parents. The fact that I was able to guide the mother and support her in her language made her feel understood. She was welcoming of all ideas and appreciative of the help. This mom is thirsty for knowledge, yet she doesn't have resources in her own language. The mom's education played a major role in the boy's success. The school, the mom and I were all working in parallel to help support the boy. I don't believe that this would have been easy if the mom was spoken to in English!

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Noa Kanter (she/her)

Linden Global Learning Head of Counseling & School Psychologist

Nationality: Israel

Speaks: English, Hebrew

and German

Lives in Germany

Often it is more important to the parents to be able to have someone who understands their cultural background, knows the holidays and some of the conflicts they experience in the school system because their children's behavior may come across differently. My cultural background allows me to be a bridge and an advocate for the student and their family.

For many of my students, the important thing is not just knowing

Hebrew, but being able to switch between lan﻿guages without it being weird. In a way, the fact that I live between cultures just like them is more important than knowing Hebrew. Many of the kids I work with switch languages naturally in our counseling sessions and I always reassure them that they can do so if they need.

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Ming-Jung (she/her)

Licensed Counselor, Counselor Supervisor, ICF Certified Coach.

Nationality: Taiwan

Speaks: English, Mandarin, Taiwanese

Teachers at an American international school were having difficulties reaching the father of a struggling student. They felt that he did not engage and was incredibly distant.

The school reached out to me and I met the father. He was fluent in English but chose to work with me in Mandarin. Turns out, he was really struggling with his new role as a stay-at-home dad. Culturally, this is difficult for Chinese men. We were able to process his role as a parent and stay-at-home dad during our time together. He started meeting with the school teachers and counselor and they were amazed at how engaged he became.

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Makia Matheis (she/her)

International School Counselor, Licenced Social Worker, Counselor Supervisor, Popular ISCA Workshop Facilitator

Nationality: USA

Speaks English

Lives in Germany

Being a biracial clinician has helped me connect with students, colleagues, parents, and guardians in many ways, particularly with my clients of color. I have often been told that "it is nice not to have to explain situations because you understand the nuances. You get it."

Having consultation groups with other clinicians of color is beneficial. I think part of my "superpower" is navigating these worlds; not always easy, but it is certainly an experience.

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Tifenn

Counselor, Play Therapist

Nationality: The Netherlands

Speaks: English, Dutch

Lives in The Netherlands

I work with families from many different backgrounds that are different from mine. I have learned that sometimes I make assumptions without even knowing it, but that when I truly listen and keep an open mind, I can find ways to build bridges.

For example, I was working with a 5 year old girl struggling with anxiety. She and I came up with the idea that like Elsa, from the Disney movie Frozen, she also had magical super powers that can help her fight her fears. I was so pleased at how well our strategy was working until one day her mother came to meet me to explain that the idea of magical powers did not fit into their religion as Muslims. We ended up finding a beautiful way of reframing the idea of a special strength as a gift from God, instead of a magical power. It was an important learning experience for me that helped the child, mother, and our relationship as a whole.

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Nationality: German, Indian, Australian

11 year old TCK

A - (They/Them)

Audio recording!

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L (she/her)

Nationality: Nigerian, British

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AMERICAN / TURKISH / GERMAN

D (she/her)

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13 year old boy: German, Indian, Australia

K (he/him)