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An expectation that I have upon me right now in life is to get to do well in school, and obeying every single thing my elders tell me without question.

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these expectations, although well meaning and more of something that constantly looms in the background, can sometimes stress me out. To combat this, there are a couple ways that I tend to deal with this stress:

I try my hardest in school, like listening to the teachers, studying adequately and trying to get my work done on time.

Eating and sleeping well (e.g, not pushing myself to hard to the point where I skip meals, or going to sleep later than I should) to ensure that I can properly process the information my teachers tell me, and use it for my assignments in an appropriate manner.

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The pressures I face are similar to the previously mentioned expectations, except for one key difference. When you have expectations imposed on you, usually those are more motivating, and something that just looms in the background that you don't get reminded much of. typically, expectations are something reasonable, that you can assuredly achieve with some effort.

Pressures on the other hand, are more outlandish in a sense, things that are unreasonable to expect your child to achieve without tiring themselves out exponentially to the point of damage. They can be more actively imposed, often in a more harsh manner that you are more actively reminded of.

Some pressures that I face are getting the highest scores in my class and in every single subject, and eventually starting a successful life of my own with a high paying job, a high education and a family.

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To combat this more intense stress that these pressures can cause me, I utilise several different coping methods:

remembering to take time for myself in moderate amounts, e.g doing stuff I enjoy such as drawing, writing and watching Youtube.

Recognising and staying within my limits, such as knowing when I'm overworking myself to the point of self neglect (skipping meals, not sleeping).

Understand that even if I don't get a good grade, or I get a grade that I'm happy with, but others aren't, I tried my best and that's what matters.

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Name: Uyen

Age: 14 years old

Hobbies: Drawing and shopping

Character strengths: Judgement, creativity, leadership

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Peer influence has the power and duality to be both positive and negative, and it's our job to try and encourage positive influence, and tune out the negative.

For example, say that you're at a party, and someone offers you alcohol knowing you're underage. Your friends give you two separate pieces of advice:

Friend one: "Don't drink that, you're underage and it's illegal."

Friend two: "You should drink that, it's what everyone is doing and if you don't you're just a coward, and no-one likes a coward."

Friend one is trying to give you good advice, to be responsible and make the right decision, regardless of what everyone else is doing.

Friend two is encouraging you to make a bad decision, painting the responsible decision in a negative light and telling you that if you do not take the alcohol, you are a coward and your peers are braver and more likeable than you.

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Since beginning high school, my family expect me to do all these extra jobs in the mornings and after school. I have to charge my laptop, pack my own lunch and keep my room tidy. I have more homework that I had in primary school in addition to my sports practices after school and I’m finding it difficult to get organised. My teachers are continually talking to me about my organisation skills. I often forget my HPE uniform or forget to charge my laptop. I’m so tired of feeling stressed about what I need for each subject and when I need different things. How can I get my act together?

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They are feeling stressed from all of these extra responsibilities and expectations, and it's taking a toll on them and their performance.

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1. Suck it up and just try and get through each day without complaining.

2. Talk to your friends about it to release some of your stress, and see if they can give you some advice.

3. Tell your family about how the extra expectations and responsibilities are taking a toll on you.

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1. + You eventually just adapt to it, and become more resilient.

- After a while the burden of all the expectations and responsibilities push you to your breaking point, and you suffer from very brutal burnout.

2. + They listen to you intently and are empathic towards you, and in the end you feel a little better. A few of them even give you some decent advice.

- Your friends are annoyed that you keep bringing the mood down with your problems, and eventually begin to distance themselves from you.

3. + Your parents realise how much pressure they've been putting on you. They lend you extra support and help to manage everything more efficiently and comfortably.

- You are told to stop overreacting, that you have nothing to be stressed over and that it's your own fault you can't manage anything. They tell you to go to your room and study, and quit complaining.

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Personally, I'd just choose to suck it up and get on with my stuff. I can figure it out on my own, and if I can't then that's my own fault.

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