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All of your family members went to college and take pride in the shared accomplishment. You are the youngest in the family and have the dream of opening your own restaurant. You are faced with the decision of going to college to please your family or following your dreams and opening a restaurant.

This presentation aims to show the positives and negatives of choosing ones own path or following in the footsteps of others. It also looks to explore how societal pressures can influence a person's decision making.

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Mental Health Implications:

When individuals pursue a career misaligned with their core values, they tend to face mental health issues after realizing the path they are taking isn't the life they truly want. They are likely to suffer from burnout, stress, and lose huge motivation if they keep going that path. The author of the article "Aligning With Values: The Neuroscience of Values-Based Actions" writes "Neuroscience and psychology reveal that this misalignment between values and actions can lead to chronic stress and burnout", in contrast, dopamine is released by the brain when we work toward values-aligned goals, which motivates us and adds to our sense of fulfillment and purpose (Aligning With Values). Nowadays, many people follow paths that don't align with their identity and values because of expectations and pressure from family and society, leading to failure to reach fulfillment for the rest of their lives.

Shaping Identity

Identity formation is significantly impacted by the decision to choose between one's own goals and those of one's family. Erikson's stages of psychosocial development state that in order for teenagers to develop a strong sense of self, they require autonomy. Identity conflict and long-term depression can result from suppressing dreams in order to live up to family or society standards. Individuals are unable to choose career paths they truly want, causing conflict in forming their personal identity.

Financial Factors

Pursuing a college degree is viewed as a traditional path and can secure a stable financial life for people. According to the article "How does a college degree improve graduates’ employment and earnings potential?" reports that "87% of bachelor’s degree holders report financial wellbeing". Regarding running the new restaurant, Jarrett Bellini in the article "The No. 1 thing to consider before opening a restaurant" writes that "around 60 percent of new restaurants fail within the first year. And nearly 80 percent shutter before their fifth anniversary". Financial factors are an important part that individuals have to consider carefully to choosing a career path.

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How can someone reconcile the tension between pursuing their personal ambitions and meeting the expectations of family or society, while balancing the desire for personal fulfillment with external pressures?

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Choosing Your Path: Personal Dreams vs. Family Expectations

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Choosing to open a restaurant instead of going to college involves weighing personal passion and entrepreneurial spirit against financial risks and societal expectations. It’s essential to consider both the potential rewards and challenges when making this significant decision.

Pros:

Opportunity to follow a personal dream and passion for cooking and hospitality.

Successful restaurants can be financially lucrative and provide a sense of accomplishment.

Direct control over business decisions and direction.

Cons:

Risk of disappointing family and facing societal judgment for not following the conventional path.

Potential feelings of isolation or lack of support from peers.

Without a degree, there may be less job security if the restaurant fails.

Running a restaurant often requires long hours and hard work, leading to burnout.

May lack formal education in business or culinary arts, leading to challenges in managing operations.

Who is mostly benefiting from this choice?

If someone decides to open a restaurant instead of following the family tradition of attending college, the primary benefits would largely accrue to the individual rather than the family. Following a passion can lead to greater satisfaction and happiness, as the individual is pursuing what they truly love.

University of the Potomac explains how choosing a career out of passion leads to better mental health, "According to a study, the time spent engaging in our passions contributes to lower stress and our happiness." Being able to enjoy work and live successfully can allow someone to live their life to it's fullest potential, while also having good mental health and motivation.

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Deciding to go to college instead of pursuing a passion for owning a restaurant involves balancing family expectations and potential career benefits against the risk of ignoring personal dreams. It's crucial to evaluate both short-term and long-term goals when making this decision.

Pros:

Meeting family expectations and maintaining family pride in academic achievements.

Potential to strengthen family bonds through shared values.

May provide stability and a safety net with a more predictable career path.

Access to a network of professors, alumni, and peers that can provide valuable connections.

Time to explore different fields and subjects before committing to a career path.

Cons:

Setting aside a dream can lead to dissatisfaction and regret.

Potential for feeling unfulfilled or disconnected from personal goals.

Cost of tuition and related expenses can lead to student debt.

Time spent in college could be used to gain practical experience in the restaurant industry.

A degree may not align with personal interests or aspirations, leading to a career that feels unmotivating.

Who is mostly benefiting from this choice?

If someone chooses college over their dream of opening a restaurant, the primary beneficiaries are often the parents and family members. Following a traditional educational path aligns with family values, and witnessing their child succeed academically can be a profound source of pride.

Harvard Business Review emphasizes the risks that accompany choosing passion over education, "There are many ways to have a satisfying job that don’t involve being passionate about its content." Choosing college could open up more opportunities that align with passions, and may be beneficial for both the family and the person making the decision.

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Opening a Restaurant

The best approach would be to follow your passion and open a restaurant, as pursuing what truly excites and fulfills you can lead to a deeper sense of purpose and personal satisfaction. While family and societal expectations are important, ultimately, embracing your entrepreneurial dream can foster growth, creativity, and a sense of achievement that aligns with your true identity. Taking the leap to build something you're passionate about offers not only professional fulfillment but also the opportunity to create a life that is authentically your own.

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Pursuing your passions is one of the most powerful ways to cultivate a deep sense of fulfillment and inner peace. By aligning your life with what truly excites and motivates you, you not only avoid the regret of uncharted paths but also create a life that reflects your authentic self. This journey of self-discovery and purpose is closely tied to Erik Erikson’s Identity vs. Role Confusion stage in psychosocial development, which highlights the importance of establishing a clear sense of self. While this stage is most prominent during adolescence, the quest for identity continues throughout life, and the pursuit of passion plays a critical role in that process.

When you commit to what you love, you do more than just chase fleeting interests—you’re actively building and affirming your personal identity. Whether it’s through your career, creative expression, relationships, or hobbies, following your passion allows you to clarify your values and make intentional choices that align with your core beliefs. This clarity helps you build a stable, grounded sense of self, reducing the confusion that can arise from external pressures or societal expectations.

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The article “What Makes a Good Restaurant Manager: Key Skills” highlights essential competencies required to effectively manage a restaurant, making it clear that pursuing a career in restaurant management can be a highly rewarding and practical alternative to a traditional college education. While a formal college degree offers theoretical knowledge, managing a restaurant provides a wealth of real-world experience that can build a diverse skill set with long-term career benefits.

Key skills such as leadership, problem-solving, customer service, and financial management are all integral to running a successful restaurant. These skills go beyond the confines of the foodservice industry; they are highly transferable and applicable to nearly any career, especially entrepreneurship. For instance, the ability to lead a team, resolve conflicts, and maintain high standards of operation are critical in any business. Similarly, financial management skills—such as budgeting, forecasting, and cost control—are invaluable for anyone who plans to manage a business or start their own venture.

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Family pressure often leads many individuals to pursue four-year college degrees that don’t align with their true passions, interests, or personal identities. As a result, they may feel as though they are living someone else’s dream rather than their own. This sense of disconnection between their chosen career path and their authentic self can lead to feelings of unfulfillment, dissatisfaction, and regret. In fact, many people who follow a conventional educational path because of external pressures, rather than personal desire, often find themselves stuck in careers that don’t inspire or motivate them. The result can be a profound sense of disappointment and the recognition that their career trajectory may not reflect who they truly are or what they truly want from life.

This disconnect is increasingly being recognized by experts. According to the Pew Research Center, "Only one-in-four U.S. adults say it’s extremely or very important to have a four-year college degree in order to get a well-paying job in today’s economy." This statistic reflects a growing shift in societal perspectives on higher education and career success. The traditional belief that a four-year degree is a necessary prerequisite for a high-paying job is becoming less relevant in today’s fast-evolving economy. Many industries now place a greater emphasis on skills, experience, and personal drive over formal degrees. In fact, as the cost of higher education continues to rise and student loan debt reaches record highs, more and more people are questioning whether the pursuit of a four-year degree is truly the best path for them.

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“Aligning with Values: The Neuroscience of Values-Based Actions.” BrainFirst, www.brainfirstinstitute.com/blog/aligning-with-values-the-neuroscience-of-values-based-actions#:~:text=When%20actions%20and%20goals%20are,to%20chronic%20stress%20and%20burnout. Accessed 10 Nov. 2024.

Cech, Erin A. “Striking a Balance between Your Passion and

Your Paycheck.” Harvard Business Review, Harvard Business Review, 24 Jan. 2023, hbr.org/2022/10/striking-a-balance-between-your-passion-and-your-paycheck.

Fry, Richard. “Is College Worth It?” Pew Research Center, Pew Research Center, 23 May 2024, www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2024/05/23/is-college-worth-it-2/.

“How Does a College Degree Improve Graduates’ Employment and Earnings Potential?” APLU, 31 July 2024, www.aplu.org/our-work/4-policy-and-advocacy/publicuvalues/employment-earnings/.

JarrettBellini. “The No. 1 Thing to Consider before Opening a Restaurant.” CNBC, CNBC, 6 July 2016, www.cnbc.com/2016/01/20/heres-the-real-reason-why-most-restaurants-fail.html.

“Passion vs Money: Should You Choose a Job You Love or One That Pays?” University of the Potomac, 16 July 2024, potomac.edu/should-you-choose-a-job-you-love-or-high-pay/.

“What Makes a Good Restaurant Manager: Key Skills.” What Makes a Good Restaurant Manager: Key Skills | Lineup.Ai, www.lineup.ai/blog/what-makes-good-restaurant-manager-skills/. Accessed 9 Nov. 2024.