# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
세계 최초의 금속활자본! 직지심체요절의 모든 것 ✏️ | 선을 넘는 녀석들 : 마스터 - X | TVPP | MBC 210822 방송

# data[].attributes.headline
[선을 넘는 녀석들] 직지심체요절

# data[].attributes.subject
[선을 넘는 녀석들] 직지심체요절

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
[선을 넘는 녀석들 : 마스터-X] 세계 인쇄사를 바꾼 ＜직지심체요절＞의 모든 것!🔥, MBC 210822 방송

# data[].attributes.headline
5. 박병선 박사의 일대기

# data[].attributes.subject
5. 박병선 박사의 일대기

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
직지의 어머니 박병선 박사 일대기

# data[].attributes.headline
4. 대한민국 유네스코 세계문화유산

# data[].attributes.subject
4. 대한민국 유네스코 세계문화유산

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
[한국의 세계유산 홍보영상] 제1편 세계문화유산

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
진격의 프랑스 함대, 병인양요 | 프랑스군을 막아라! | 어린이 조선왕조실록 | 초등 이야기 한국사 조선시대 ★ 지니스쿨 역사

# data[].attributes.headline
2. 직지를 세계에 알리다

# data[].attributes.subject
2. 직지를 세계에 알리다

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
박병선 박사 직지를 세계에 알리다!

# data[].attributes.headline
1. 빼앗긴 책에 평생을 바친 박병선 박사님

# data[].attributes.subject
1. 빼앗긴 책에 평생을 바친 박병선 박사님

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
지식채널e- 파란 책 속에 묻혀 있는 여성

# data[].attributes.body
수정 전> I have been on a space trip.I want to go to Mars with my family.First, space observation.Second, plant cultivation experiment.Lastly, finding signs of life.It is exciting to imagine the landscape of Mars, and it is curious to think what a zero-gravity world would be like.---수정 후> I have been on a space trip, and I want to go to Mars with my family.First, we will do space observation.Second, we will conduct a plant cultivation experiment.Lastly, we will try to find signs of life.It is exciting to imagine the landscape of Mars, and it is curious to think what a zero-gravity world would be like.

# data[].attributes.body
원본

l nat been to space before. l want to go make make with my friend. First, l want to see constellations. Second, l want to see Earth other planets. Lastly, l also want to try space food lf will be a dream come true to travel in space.

수정본

I have never been to space before.

I want to go to Mars with Ahn Hyuk .

First, I want to see the constellations.

Second, I want to Find aliens.

Lastly, I also Sleeping in space .

It will be to travel in space.

---

🔹 수정 포인트:

1. I have never been to space before → 현재완료 시제로 경험 여부 표현

2. It would be a dream come true to travel in space → it 가주어 + to부정사 활용, 기대감 표현

3. Earth other planets → Earth and other planets → 어법상 “and” 필요

4. lf → It → 오타 수정

# data[].attributes.body
원본

I have never been to space before

I want to go Uranus with my mom

First, I want to explore various ice satellite in Uranus

Second, I want to see the diamond rain that only falls on Uranus

Lastly, I want to skydive on Uranus lying on its side with its axis tilted 98degrees

it would be scary to go alone, but it would be fun and meaningful

수정본

I have never been to space before.

I want to go to Uranus with my mom.

First, I want to explore the various icy satellites of Uranus.

Second, I want to see the diamond rain that is said to fall there.

Lastly, I want to skydive on Uranus.

It will be scary to go alone, but it will be fun and meaningful to experience it with my mom.

수정이유

1.First, I want to explore the various icy satellites of Uranus.”

ice satellite → icy satellites

→ 자연스러운 형용사 형태로 변경.

various 앞에 the를 넣어 특정한 천체들을 말한다는 의미를 명확하게 함.

in Uranus → of Uranus

→ 위성은 ‘위치’가 아니라 ‘소속 관계’이므로 of가 맞는 표현.

2.Second, I want to see the diamond rain that is said to fall there.”

only falls on Uranus → is said to fall there
→ 실제로 관측된 사실이 아니라 이론적 예측이므로
“~라고 알려져 있다”는 완곡 표현으로 더 정확하고 자연스럽게 바뀜.

Uranus 반복을 피하고 문장이 더 자연롭게 보이도록 there 사용.

3.Lastly, I want to skydive on Uranus, which lies on its side with its axis tilted 98 degrees.”

원본: skydive on Uranus lying on its side…

→ 이 구조는 "내가 누워있는 것"처럼 해석될 수 있어 문법적으로 애매함.

수정본: 관계대명사 which 사용

→ 누워있는 것은 Uranus라는 점을 명확히 하고 문장을 깔끔하게 정리함.

98 degrees

→ 숫자와 단위 사이 띄어쓰기 등 문장 형식도 더 정확해짐.

4.“It would be scary to go alone, but it would be fun and meaningful to experience it with my mom.”

원본은 두 감정을 따로 제시해 문맥적으로 약함.

to experience it with my mom을 추가하여

왜 meaningful한지, 누구와 함께 가고 싶은지 명확하게 설명함.

전체적으로 문장이 더 완성도 있게 바뀜.

# data[].attributes.body
원본

I have never been to space before.

I want to go to Mars with my friend.

First,I want to eat Mars food.

Second,I want to play on the Mars.

Lastly,I want to make friend with Mars people.

It will be interesting to travel in space.

수정본

I have never been to space before.

I want to travel to Mars with my friend.

First, I want to try Martian food.

Second, I want to play on Mars.

Lastly, I want to make friends with the people on Mars.

It will be very interesting to travel in space.

✅ (1) 문장별 수정 이유

.“Mars food” → 정확한 표현 가능하지만 “Martian food”가 더 자연스러움

‘Mars food’는 말 그대로 ‘화성 음식’이라는 뜻이지만, 영어에서는 보통 *Martian food(화성인 음식)*처럼 형용사 형태를 더 자주 사용해요.

“play on the Mars” → “play on Mars”

행성 이름 앞에는 관사 the 를 쓰지 않습니다.

예: on Earth, on Mars, on Venus

“make friend with Mars people” → “make friends with the people on Mars”

‘make friend’ ❌ → ‘make friends’가 맞는 표현입니다.

‘Mars people’보다 ‘the people on Mars’가 더 자연스럽고 실제 영어에 가까움.

✅ (2) 자연스럽게 완성한 문장 (매우 자연스러운 영어)

Natural Version:

I have never been to space before.

I want to travel to Mars with my friend.

First, I want to try Martian food.

Second, I want to play on Mars.

Lastly, I want to make friends with the people on Mars.

It will be very exciting to travel in space.

# data[].attributes.body
아래는 문법‧어법 교정 + 현재완료 시제 점검 + 가주어 it / 진주어 to-부정사 구문의 사용 여부 검사를 모두 포함한 답변입니다.

---

✅ 1. 문장 교정본 (자연스러운 영어로 수정)

Original → Revised

> I have never been to space before.

I want to go to Mercury with a cat in a spacesuit.

First, I will bring various items and observe their unique reactions.

Second, I will meditate while floating in space.

Lastly, I will have fun playing with the things I bring, including a cat in a spacesuit.

It will be such a new and exciting experience to travel in space.

---

✅ 2. 어떤 부분을 왜 고쳤는지 설명

1) “bring various item” → “bring various items”

item은 셀 수 있는 명사이므로 “various”와 함께 쓰려면 복수형 필요.

2) “what I bought” → “the things I bring”

미래 계획을 말하는 문맥이므로 bought(과거)보다 미래 지향적 표현인 “bring” 사용이 더 자연스러움.

또한 이미 “bring”을 앞 문장에서 사용했기 때문에 일관성을 유지.

3) 조동사/시제 보완: “First, bring …” 등 → “First, I will bring …”

단계별 미래 계획을 서술하는 문맥에서는 일반적으로 will + 동사원형 사용이 가장 자연스럽다.

4) 마지막 문장: “It will be such a new and exciting experience to travel in space.”

문법적으로 자연스러우나 such … to ~ 구문에서 명사를 수식하는 “new and exciting experience” 앞에 “such a”가 필요—문맥상 이미 맞게 쓰여 있음.

---

✅ 3. 현재완료 시제 점검

문장: “I have never been to space before.”

현재완료( have/has + p.p. )는 경험을 표현할 때 적절하게 사용됨.

“한 번도 ~한 적 없다”라는 경험 부정 → 완전히 맞는 용법

따라서 수정할 필요 없음.

---

✅ 4. 가주어 it / 진주어 to-부정사 구문 점검

작성한 글 중에서 가주어 it + 진주어 to부정사 구조는 다음 문장임:

> It will be such a new and exciting experience to travel in space.

It = 가주어

to travel in space = 진주어(진정한 주어 역할)

문법적으로 완전히 올바른 구조이다.

어색함이나 오류 없음.

---

✅ 5. 최종 정리

어휘 및 복수형 오류 일부 수정

미래 계획에 자연스러운 시제(will)로 정리

현재완료는 정확하게 사용됨

가주어 it + 진주어 to부정사 구문도 정확하게 사용됨

아래는 모든 오류를 수정하고 자연스럽게 다듬은 최종 글입니다.

---

✅ 최종 교정본

I have never been to space before.

I want to go to Mercury with a cat in a spacesuit.

First, I will bring various items and observe their unique reactions.

Second, I will meditate while floating in space.

Lastly, I will have fun playing with the things I bring, including a cat in a spacesuit.

It will be such a new and exciting experience to travel in space.

wearing a spacesuit 반영

---

✅ 최종 교정본 (wearing a spacesuit 반영 + 가주어/진주어 표시 포함)

I have never been to space before.

I want to go to Mercury with a cat wearing a spacesuit.

First, I will bring various items and observe their unique reactions.

Second, I will meditate while floating in space.

Lastly, I will have fun playing with the things I bring, including a cat wearing a spacesuit.

It will be such a new and exciting experience to travel in space.

---

필요하시면 해석본도 다시 맞춰서 제공해드릴게요!

# data[].attributes.body
원본

I have never been to space before.

I want to go to the Mars with my friend.

First, l want to ride a spaceship.

second,I want to drink milk in zero gravity.

Lastly,I want to observe space.

It will be so nice and joyful to travel in space

수정본

I have never been to space before.

I want to go to Mars with my friend.

First, I want to ride a spaceship.

Second, I want to drink milk in zero gravity.

Lastly, I want to observe space.

It will be so nice and joyful to travel in space

# data[].attributes.body
원본

I have never been to space before.

I want to go to the Mars with Nct jisung.

First, I want to Watch the sunset on Mars.

Second, I want to Floating in zero gravity.

Lastly, I also want to Confess to jisung.

It will be really happy and fun to go on a space trip.

수정본

I have never been to space before.

I want to go to Mars with NCT Jisung.

First, I want to watch the sunset on Mars.

Second, I want to float in low gravity.

Lastly, I want to confess my feeling to Jisung.

It will be so great to travel to space.

현재완료 have never been 지금까지 한 번도 ~해본 적 없음

가주어 it It 진짜 주어를 대신하는 형식적 주어

진주어 to부정사 to go 실제로 의미상 주어 역할, “~하는 것”

# data[].attributes.body
I have never been to space before. I want to go to the Mars with my friends. Frist, I want to climb Olympus Mons. Second, I want to watch a Giant bust storm. Lastly, I also want to Experience a science Base. It will be expensive to travel in space.

✅ 수정된 문장

> I have never been to space before.

I want to go to Mars with my friends.

First, I want to climb Olympus Mons.

Second, I want to watch a giant dust storm.

Lastly, I also want to experience ????? a science base.

It will be expensive to travel in space.

🪐 수정 포인트 설명

1. “the Mars” → “Mars”

→ 행성 이름 앞에는 보통 the를 쓰지 않습니다. (예: go to Mars, go to Earth ❌ → go to Earth’s surface ✅)

2. “Frist” → “First”

→ 철자 오류 수정.

3. “Giant bust storm” → “giant dust storm”

→ bust storm은 의미가 없고, *dust storm(먼지 폭풍)*이 올바른 표현이에요.

4. “Experience” → “experience”

→ 문장 중간에서는 대문자가 아니라 소문자 사용.

# data[].attributes.body
I haven’t been to space.

I want to go to a flat plain on Mars with a scientist.

First, I want to plant plants on Mars.

Second, I want to check the temperature.

Lastly, I also want to explore Mars.

It will be fantastic to travel in space.

I haven’t been to space, but I really want to go to a flat place on Mars with a scientist.

First, I want to plant some plants on Mars.

Second, I want to check the temperature there.

Lastly, I also want to explore Mars and learn more about it.

It will be fantastic to travel in space!

🔍 수정 이유:

but I really want to... → 문장 사이의 자연스러운 연결을 위해 추가

plant some plants → “some”을 넣으면 영어로 더 자연스러움

check the temperature there → “거기서”라는 의미로 there 추가

and learn more about it → 탐험의 목적을 살짝 덧붙여 풍부하게

마지막 문장은 그대로 둬도 완벽해요 👍

# data[].attributes.body
원래 문장

I have never been to space before.

I want to go the Mars with my friends.

First, I want to race bike

Second, I want to take pictures.

Lastly, I also want to play catch ball.

It will be thrilling to travel in space.

수정해야 할 부분 적용

원래 표현수정 표현이유 I want to go the Mars Mars 앞에 the 안 씀 + go to Mars I want to race bike는 어색함 I want to play catch ball》I want to play catch with ball

수정 반영 문장

I have never been to space before.

I want to go to Mars with my friends.

First, I want to go bike racing with my friends.

Second, I want to take group picture with my friends

Lastly, I also want to play catch with a ball.

It will be thrilling to travel in space.

# data[].attributes.body
### 🌍 원문 (Original)

> I haven't been to space yet, but I'd love to go someday.

> I want to go to Saturn with my mom and my younger sister.

> First, I want to meet an alien and ask them to evaluate the level of Earth's civilization.

> Second, I want to explore Saturn while wearing a body camera.

> Lastly, I also want to build an artificial structure on Saturn.

> It will be amazing to travel in space and see new worlds.

---

### ✅ 교정본 (Corrected)

> I haven't been to space yet, but I'd love to go there someday.

> I want to travel to Saturn with my mom and my younger sister.

> First, I want to meet an alien and ask them to evaluate the level of Earth's civilization.

> Second, I want to explore Saturn while wearing a body camera.

> Lastly, I want to build an artificial structure on Saturn.

> It will be amazing to travel through space and discover new worlds.

---

### 🧩 수정 이유 (Grammar & Style Explanation)

| 문장 | 수정 내용 | 이유 |

| ------------------------------------------ | ------------------------------------------------------------------ | -- |

| **go someday → go there someday** | “go”는 보통 “go there / go to ~” 형태로 써야 장소를 명확히 함. “there”를 넣어 자연스러움. | |

| **go to Saturn → travel to Saturn** | “go”도 맞지만, 우주 여행 맥락에서는 “travel to”가 더 자연스럽고 문어적임. | |

| **also want to build → want to build** | “also”는 이미 “Lastly”가 있으므로 중복. 생략이 더 자연스러움. | |

| **travel in space → travel through space** | “travel through space”가 더 흔한 표현 (공간을 가로질러 여행한다는 뉘앙스). | |

| **see new worlds → discover new worlds** | “discover”가 우주 탐험 맥락에 더 어울림. (“see”도 문법상 맞지만 어감상 단순함). | |

---

### 🇰🇷 한글 번역 (의미)

> 나는 아직 우주에 가본 적은 없지만, 언젠가는 꼭 가보고 싶다.

> 엄마와 여동생과 함께 토성으로 여행을 가고 싶다.

> 첫째로, 외계인을 만나서 지구 문명의 수준을 평가해 달라고 부탁하고 싶다.

> 둘째로, 바디캠을 착용하고 토성을 탐험하고 싶다.

> 마지막으로, 토성에 인공 구조물을 세우고 싶다.

> 우주를 여행하며 새로운 세상을 발견한다면 정말 놀라울 것이다.

---

원래 문장도 아주 잘 쓴 편이에요 — 문법적 오류는 거의 없고,

교정본은 단지 **좀 더 자연스럽고 원어민스러운 표현**으로 다듬은 거예요.

# data[].attributes.body
원본

1.I have never been to space before.

2.I want to go to a black hole with my friends.

3.First, I want to see the bright light around the black hole.

4.Second, I want to feel the strange and quiet space near it.

5.Lastly, I also want to watch the stars disappear into the black hole.

6.It will be so mysterious and beautiful to travel in space.

수정본

# data[].attributes.headline
원본 : have never been to space before I want to go to Neptune with my sister First, l want to see the pretty blue color on the surface of orange and appreciate the charcoal with my sister second, l want to eat ice cream while watching Uranus from afar. Lastly, l want to take a picture of Uranus and show it off to my friends lt will be it would be interesting and fun to float around while traveling in space because there is no gravity.        

# data[].attributes.subject
원본 : have never been to space before I want to go to Neptune with my sister First, l want to see the pretty blue color on the surface of orange and appreciate the charcoal with my sister second, l want to eat ice cream while watching Uranus from afar. Lastly, l want to take a picture of Uranus and show it off to my friends lt will be it would be interesting and fun to float around while traveling in space because there is no gravity.        

# data[].attributes.body
• 수정된 문장:

I have never been to space before.

I want to go to Neptune with my sister.

First, I want to see the beautiful blue color on its surface and appreciate the view with my sister.

Second, I want to eat ice cream while watching Uranus.

Lastly, I want to take a picture of Uranus and show it to my friends.

It would be interesting and fun to float around while traveling in space because there is no gravity.

• 수정 포인트:

• “have never been to space before” → 문법상 올바름. 문장 연결을 자연스럽게 하기 위해 so 추가.

• “on the surface of orange” → 오타로 보입니다. orange 대신 its surface (Neptune의 표면) 으로 수정.

• “appreciate the charcoal” → 의미상 맞지 않아 appreciate the view (풍경을 감상하다) 로 변경.

• “lt will be would be…” → 문법상 맞지 않아 It would be 로 수정.

# data[].attributes.body
원문

1. I have never been to space before.

2. I want to go to Jupiter with my friends.

3. First, I want to fly around Jupiter in a spaceship.

4. Second, I want to see the red storms and many moons of Jupiter.

5. Lastly, I also want to taste some astronaut food in space.

6. It will be very exciting and wonderful to travel in

수정본

1. I have never been to space before.

2. I want to go to Jupiter with my friends.

3. First, I want to fly around Jupiter in a spaceship.

4. Second, I want to see the red storms and many moons of Jupiter.

5. Lastly, I also want to try some astronaut food in space.

6. It will be very exciting and wonderful to travel in space

✏️ 수정사항

번호 원문 수정 후 이유

5 taste some astronaut food try some astronaut food taste는 ‘맛보다(맛만 본다)’라는 의미로, 음식을 조금만 먹어보는 느낌. 반면 try는 ‘경험해보다 / 시도하다’라는 뜻으로, 새로운 음식을 먹어보는 상황에서는 try food가 더 자연스러움. 그래서 try로 수정함.

---

🧠 문법 설명

① I have never been to space before.

현재완료(have + p.p.): 지금까지 한 번도 우주에 가본 적이 없다는 의미.

“been to”는 “~에 가본 적 있다”를 의미함.

→ I have been to Japan. (나는 일본에 가본 적 있다.)

---

② I want to go to Jupiter with my friends.

want to + 동사원형: “~하고 싶다”

“go to Jupiter” → 행성 이름 앞에는 the를 붙이지 않음. (국가명, 도시명, 행성명은 보통 고유명사)

---

③ First, I want to fly around Jupiter in a spaceship.

fly around: “~의 주위를 날다”

“in a spaceship”은 이동 수단을 나타낼 때 자연스러운 전치사 in 사용.

---

④ Second, I want to see the red storms and many moons of Jupiter.

“the red storms” → 목성의 대표적인 대적점(Great Red Spot)을 가리키는 자연스러운 표현.

“moons of Jupiter” → 위성들을 의미. 문법상 정확.

---

⑤ Lastly, I also want to try some astronaut food in space.

“also”의 위치는 동사 앞이 자연스러움.

“try some food”는 “음식을 먹어보다”라는 뜻으로 구어체·문어체 모두 자연스럽다.

---

⑥ It will be very exciting and wonderful to travel in space.

가주어 it + 진주어 to부정사 구문

→ It is/was/will be + 형용사 + to + 동사원형

→ “to travel in space(우주를 여행하는 것)”이 진짜 주어지만, 문장을 자연스럽게 만들기 위해 it이 가짜 주어 역할을 함.

# data[].attributes.body
원문

I have never been to space before.

I want to go to the mercury with my sister.

First, I want to become friends with aliens living in the mercury.

Second, I want to leave my signature on the surface of the mercury.

Lastly, I also want to roast marshmallows in the sun with my sister and alien friend.

I think it is possible.

It will be amazing to travel through space.

수정본

I have never been to space before.

I want to go to Mercury with my sister.

First, I want to become friends with aliens living on Mercury.

Second, I want to leave my signature on the surface of Mercury.

Lastly, I also want to roast marshmallows under the sun with my sister and alien friend.

I think it is possible and It will be amazing to travel through space.

💡 주요 어법 포인트

고유명사 표기 the mercury->Mercury 행성 이름은 고유명사, 앞에 the X

전치사 in Mercurn->on Mercury 행성 ‘위에 살다’는 on 사용

관용 표현 in the sun->under the sun ‘태양 속에서’ 대신 ‘햇볕 아래에서’ 의미로 under 사용

고유명사이므로 대문자사용(Mercury)

# data[].attributes.body
[원문]

I have never been to space before.

I want to go to the Mars with my friends.

First, I want to experience low gravity on Mars.

Second, I want to explore the surface of Mars.

Lastly, I also want to take pictures with my friends.

It will be so interesting and amazing to travel in space.

전체적으로 정말 잘 썼어! 문법적으로도 거의 완벽하고 수행평가용으로 아주 자연스러워 👏

다만 딱 하나 아주 작은 수정이 있어.

✅ 1. the Mars → X

Mars 앞에는 the를 쓰지 않아!

• I want to go to Mars with my friends. ✅

• I want to go to the Mars with my friends. ❌

행성, 국가, 도시 이름 앞에는 거의 대부분 관사 X

✅ 2. 나머지는 완벽 ✅

문장들 모두 자연스럽고 문법적으로 OK!

✨ [수정본]

I have never been to space before.

I want to go to Mars with my friends.

First, I want to experience low gravity on Mars.

Second, I want to explore the surface of Mars.

Lastly, I also want to take pictures with my friends.

It will be so interesting and amazing to travel in space.

# data[].attributes.body
원본

I have never been to space before.

I want to go to the Saturn with my brother.

First, I want to sit on Saturn and chat.

Second, watching other planets and space from Saturn.

Lastly, I also want to swim in the air on Saturn.

It will be so exciting and fun to travel in space.

수정 사항

✅ 수정된 문장 (완벽 버전)

I have never been to space before.

I want to go to Saturn with my brother.

First, I want to sit on Saturn and chat with him.

Second, I want to watch other planets and space from Saturn.

Lastly, I also want to float and swim in the air on Saturn.

It will be really great to travel in space.

---

🔍 수정 및 문법 설명

원래 문장 수정 내용 이유

the Saturn Saturn 행성 이름 앞에는 관사 the를 쓰지 않음

chat. chat with him. ‘누구와 이야기하다’ → chat with + 사람

watching watch ‘I want to’ 뒤에는 동사원형 사용해야 함

swim in the air float and swim in the air 문법은 맞지만, float(떠다니다)를 추가하면 더 자연스럽고 우주 느낌이 남

# data[].attributes.body
원본

I have never been to space before.

I want to go to the Mars with my friend.

First, I want to try ordering delivery in space.

Second, I want to put 100 million kimchi fridges on the Moon because I want to share Korea Kimchi culture with aliens

Lastly, I also want to open a chicken restaurant inside a black hole.

It will be an anticipated experience to travel in space.

수정본

I have never been to space before.

I want to go to Mars with my friend.

First, I want to try ordering delivery in space.

Second, I want to put 100 million kimchi fridges on the Moon because I want to share Korea Kimchi culture with aliens

Lastly, I also want to open a chicken restaurant inside a black hole.

It will be an anticipated experience to travel in space.

고친 데

1. the Mars → Mars

# data[].attributes.body
원문 (학생 작성):

I have never been to space before.

I want to go to the sun with my pet dogs.

First,I want to take a nap in the sun.

Second, I want to running the sun.

Lastly, I also want to taking a picture with the sun.

It will be so thrilling to travel in space.

교정본 (수정 후):

I have never been to space before.

I want to go to the sun with my pet dogs.

First,I want to take a nap in the sun.

Second, I want to run around the sun.

Lastly, I also want to take a picture with the sun.

It will be so thrilling to travel in space.

수정 포인트 설명:

“to running” → to run (to 부정사 뒤에는 동사 원형이 와야 함)

“to taking” → to take (위와 동일한 이유)

“run the sun”보다는 run around the sun이 자연스러운 표현

나머지 문장은 잘 썼습니다 👍

💡 최종 문장 예시:

I have never been to space before. I want to go to the sun with my pet dogs. First, I want to take a nap with my back to the sun. Second, I want to run around the sun. Lastly, I also want to take a picture with the sun. It will be so thrilling to travel in space.

# data[].attributes.body
원본

I have never been to space before.

I want to go to Mars with my mom and dad.

First, I want to see a Black Hole.

Second, I want to make alien friends.

Lastly, I also want to ride a treadmill.

It will be so interesting to travel in space.

수정본

I have never been to space before.

I want to go to Mars with my mom and dad.

First, I want to see a black hole.

Second, I want to make alien friends.

Lastly, I also want to ride on a treadmill on the Mars.

It will be so interesting to travel in outer space.

수정 사항

✅ 문법·철자·어법 점검

문장 점검 결과 수정 제안

I have never been to space. ✔ 완벽합니다. 현재완료 시제도 적절하게 사용됐어요. (‘지금까지 한 번도 우주에 가본 적이 없다’라는 뜻) 그대로 둬도 좋음

I want to go to Mars with my mom and dad. ✔ 문법, 어법 모두 정확합니다. 그대로 둬도 좋음

First, I want to see a Black Hole. ❌ “Black Hole”은 일반 명사가 아니라 천체 이름이라도 보통 소문자로 씁니다. → First, I want to see a black hole.

Second, I want to make alien friends. ✔ 정확합니다. 그대로 둬도 좋음

Lastly, I also want to ride a treadmill. ✔ 문법상 문제는 없지만, 우주에서 러닝머신을 타는 상황이라면 “on”을 쓰는 것이 자연스럽습니다. → Lastly, I also want to ride on a treadmill.

It will be so interesting to travel in space. ✔ “가주어 it + 진주어 to부정사” 구조가 올바르게 사용되었습니다.

하지만 in space보다는 through space나 in outer space가 더 자연스러워요. → It will be so interesting to travel in outer space.

원하신 조건(현재완료, 가주어 it, 진주어 to부정사) 모두 잘 사용되었어요.

👉 “It will be so interesting to travel in outer space.” 가 바로 가주어·진주어 구문입니다.

즉, to travel in outer space(진주어)가 문장의 진짜 주어이고, it이 가짜 주어 역할을 합니다.

원문은 문법적으로 아주 잘 쓴 문장입니다! 💫

# data[].attributes.body
I have never been to space before.

I want to go to the Saturn with my friends.

Fist, I want to seeing Saturn's rings in person.

Second, I want to floating to another plant go.

Lastly, I also want to participating in the space marathon.

It will be nervous to travel in space.

원문: I have never been to space before.

✅ 수정: 그대로 괜찮습니다. (완벽한 문장입니다!)

원문: I want to go to the Saturn with my friends.

⚠️ 수정: I want to go to Saturn with my friends.

👉 행성 이름 앞에는 보통 the를 붙이지 않습니다.

원문: Fist, I want to seeing Saturn's rings in person.

⚠️ 수정: First, I want to see Saturn’s rings in person.

👉 “Fist” → “First”(철자 오류)

👉 “to seeing” → “to see” (to 부정사 뒤에는 동사 원형)

원문: Second, I want to floating to another plant go.

⚠️ 수정: Second, I want to float to another planet.

👉 “floating” → “float” (동사 형태 오류)

👉 “plant” → “planet” (철자 오류)

👉 “go”는 중복이므로 제거.

원문: Lastly, I also want to participating in the space marathon.

⚠️ 수정: Lastly, I also want to participate in the space marathon.

👉 “participating” → “participate” (to 부정사 뒤에는 동사 원형)

원문: It will be nervous to travel in space.

⚠️ 수정: It will be nerve-racking (or exciting / scary) to travel in space.

👉 “nervous”는 사람이 느끼는 감정에 쓰입니다. 상황을 묘사하려면 “nerve-racking”이나 “exciting”이 자연스럽습니다.

✨ 수정된 문단 예시

I have never been to space before.

I want to go to Saturn with my friends.

First, I want to see Saturn’s rings in person.

Second, I want to float to another planet.

Lastly, I also want to participate in the space marathon.

It will be nerve-racking to travel in space.

# data[].attributes.body
📝 [1] 원본 문장

1️⃣ I have never been to space before.

2️⃣ I want to go the Jupiter with my pet dogs.

3️⃣ First, I want to explore the big clouds and see the storm.

4️⃣ Second, I want to find the ocean under the ice on Europa.

5️⃣ Lastly, I also want to fly around the rings and take pictures.

6️⃣ It will be so amazing to travel in space.

---

✅ [2] 수정본

1️⃣ I have never been to space before.✅

2️⃣ I want to go to Jupiter with my pet dogs.

3️⃣ First, I want to explore the big clouds and see the storm.✅

4️⃣ Second, I want to find the ocean under the ice on Europa. ✅

5️⃣ Lastly, I also want to fly around the rings and take pictures. ✅

6️⃣ It will be so amazing to travel in space. ✅

---

## 💡 [3] 수정 및 문법 설명

| 번호 | 수정 사항 | 설명 |

| --- | ---------------------------------- | ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ |

| 1️⃣ | 그대로 둠 | 현재완료 시제(`have been to`)를 올바르게 사용했습니다. 과거 경험을 묻는 질문에 정확히 맞는 표현입니다. |

| 2️⃣ | **go the Jupiter → go to Jupiter** | 행성 이름 앞에는 관사 **the**를 쓰지 않습니다. 또 동사 **go** 뒤에는 전치사 **to**가 반드시 필요합니다. |

| 3️⃣ | 그대로 둠 | 문법, 철자 모두 정확합니다. |

| 4️⃣ | 그대로 둠 | 문법적으로 완벽합니다. ‘under the ice on Europa’도 올바른 표현입니다. |

| 5️⃣ | 그대로 둠 | 동사 병렬 구조(`fly around … and take pictures`)가 올바릅니다. |

| 6️⃣ | 그대로 둠 | **가주어 it + 진주어 to 부정사** 구문이 완벽하게 사용되었습니다. “It will be amazing to travel in space.”는 자연스러운 문장입니다. (**so**를 넣은 것도 감탄 강조로 괜찮습니다.) |

---

### 🌟 종합 평가

* **현재완료 시제:** 올바르게 사용됨.

* **가주어 it + 진주어 to 부정사:** 완벽히 사용됨.

* **철자/어법:** ‘go the Jupiter’만 수정 필요.

* **내용 표현:** 창의적이고 논리적임 👍

---

원문을 형광펜으로 표시해야 한다면

* **현재완료 시제:** *have never been to space before*

* **가주어 it / 진주어 to부정사:** *It will be so amazing / to travel in space*

이 부분을 각각 색으로 표시하면 좋습니다.

# data[].attributes.body
원문:

I have never been to space before

I want to go to Mercury with my parents

First, I want to touch how hot the sun is

Second, Running on Mercury

Lastly, Grilling meat in the sun

It will be very fun and interesting to go via Mercury

✅ 자연스러운 완성 문장:

I have never been to space before.

I want to go to Mercury with my parents.

First, I want to feel how hot the Sun is.

Second, I want to run on Mercury.

Lastly, I want to grill meat using the Sun’s heat.

It will be very wonderful and interesting to go to Mercury.

수정 이유:

句 끝에 마침표 추가 — 영어 문장은 보통 끝마다 .을 붙여야 자연스럽습니다.

“touch how hot the sun is” → “feel how hot the Sun is”

“touch”는 직접 손으로 만진다는 뜻이라 현실적으로 부자연스러워요. “feel”이 어법상 더 맞아요.

“Running on Mercury” → “I want to run on Mercury”

문장 구조를 통일하기 위해서 (앞뒤 문장들도 “I want to …” 구조니까요).

“Grilling meat in the sun” → “grill meat using the Sun’s heat”

“in the sun”은 “햇볕 아래서”지만, 실제로 “태양의 열을 이용해 고기를 굽다”는 의미로 바꾸면 더 자연스럽습니다.

“go via Mercury” → “go to Mercury”

“via”는 “~을 경유해서”라는 뜻이에요. 여기서는 목적지가 수성(Mercury)이므로 “to”가 맞습니다.

# data[].attributes.body
원본

I have never been to space before

I want to go Kepler 138d with my friends

First I want to go to Kepler 138d with my friends

Second I want to explore Kepler 138d

Lastly I also want to swim in the Kepler 138d

It will be fun and surprised to travel in space

수정본

I have never been to space before.

First, I want to go to Kepler-138d with my friends.

Second, I want to explore Kepler-138d.

Lastly, I also want to swim on Kepler-138d.

It will be amazing and surprising to travel in space.

---

💡 수정 포인트 설명:

1. Kepler 138d → Kepler-138d

천체 이름은 보통 하이픈(-)으로 표기해.

2. swim in → swim on Kepler-138d

행성 안에서 수영하는 게 아니라 “행성의 바다나 물 위에서” 수영하는 느낌이니 on이 자연스러워.

# data[].attributes.body
원본

I have never been to space before.

I want to go to Saturn with my family.

First, I want to see Saturn's rings up close.

Second, I want to take a meteor from Saturn's rings.

Lastly, I also want to eat dak-galbi made as space food while looking at Saturn.

It will be thrill and fantastic to travel in space.

수정본

I have never been to space before.

I want to go to Saturn with my family.

First, I want to see Saturn's rings up close.

Second, I want to take a meteor from Saturn's rings.

Lastly, I also want to eat dak-galbi made as space food while looking at Saturn.

It will be thrilling and fantastic to travel in space.

수정사항

❌ 잘못된 문장

It will be thrill and fantastic to travel in space.

✅ 수정된 문장 (자연스럽고 문법 맞게)

It will be thrilling and fantastic to travel in space.

✏️ 수정 내용 요약

thrill (명사) → thrilling (형용사) 로 바꿈.

이유: It will be + 형용사 + to~ 구조에서는 형용사가 와야 문법적으로 맞기 때문.

📘 한 줄 요약:

👉 “thrill”은 ‘짜릿함(명사)’이고, “thrilling”은 ‘짜릿한(형용사)’이라

이 문장에는 thrilling이 정답이다.

# data[].attributes.body
원본

I have never been to space.

I want to go to Saturn with my camera.

First, I want to see the rings of Saturn.

Second, I want to taste Saturn.

Lastly, I want to take photos of Saturn.

It will be interesting to explore Saturn.

수정본

I have never been to space.

I want to go to Saturn with my camera.

First, I want to see the rings of Saturn up close.

Second, I want to taste the rings of Saturn.

Lastly, I want to take photos of Saturn to capture its beauty.

It will be an incredible experience to explore Saturn and travel in space.

수정사항

First, I want to see the rings of Saturn → First, I want to see the rings of Saturn up close

“up close” 추가로 더 생생하게 표현

Second, I want to taste Saturn → 그대로 유지 😋

Lastly, I want to take photos of Saturn → Lastly, I want to take photos of Saturn to capture its beauty

사진 찍는 목적을 추가

It will be interesting to explore Saturn → It will be an incredible experience to explore Saturn

“interesting”보다 더 강렬하고 흥미로운 느낌

# data[].attributes.body
원본

l have never been to space before.

l want to go to Saturn and Uranus with my mom and my younger brother.

First, I want to take pictures of the Earth and space.

Second, I want to jump and float in the air.

Lastly, I want to try space food like ?????.

It will be very exciting????? to travel to Saturn and Uranus.

수정본

I have never been to space before.

I want to go to Saturn and Uranus with my mom and my younger brother.

First, I want to take pictures of the Earth and space.

Second, I want to jump and float in the air.

Lastly, I want to try space food like space ice cream and cookies.

It will be very great and nice to travel to Saturn and Uranus.

like space ice cream and cookies.을 사용해서 우주에서 먹고싶은 음식을 표현했고 exciting 을 great and nice으로 수정했다

# data[].attributes.body
원문

I have never been to space before.

I want to go to the Mars with my sister.

First, I want to float in the air.

Second, l want to look at the stars and planets.

Lastly, I also want to check for aliens.

It will be so interesting to travel in space.

---

수정된 글

I have never been to space before.

I want to go to Mars with my sister.

First, I want to float in the air.

Second, I want to look at the stars and planets in the spaceship.

Lastly, I also want to look for aliens.

It will be so interesting to travel in space.

---

수정 내용과 이유

1. "the Mars" → "Mars"

→ 행성 이름 앞에는 보통 the를 붙이지 않습니다.

예: I want to go to Mars / Jupiter / Venus.

(하지만 the Earth, the Moon처럼 지구나 달은 예외입니다.)

2. "check for aliens" → "look for aliens"

→ “check for”는 ‘~이 있는지 점검하다’는 느낌이고,

우주 탐험 맥락에서는 “look for aliens(외계를 찾아보다)”가 더 자연스럽습니다.

# data[].attributes.body
원본

I have never been to space

I want to go on a space trip to Jupiter with my best friends

First, I want to running a race with my friends

Second, I want to jumping contest on Jupiter

Lastly, I also want to eating on Jupiter

It will be exciting to look for ward to a space trip

수정본

I have never been to space.

I want to go on a space trip to Jupiter with my best friends.

First, I want to run a race with my friends.

Second, I want to have a jumping contest on Jupiter.

Lastly, I also want to eat pizza on Jupiter.

It will be wonderful to look forward to a space trip.

수정사항

“I want to running” → “I want to run”

→ want to 뒤에는 동사 원형이 와야함

“I want to jumping contest” → “I want to have a jumping contest”

→ contest는 명사이므로 “have a contest”처럼 ‘하다’의 의미로 have를 써야 자연스러움

“I also want to eating” → “I also want to eat”

→ 마찬가지로 want to 뒤에는 동사 원형 eat을 써야 함

“look for ward” → “look forward”

→ 철자 오류예요. “look forward”가 맞음

Eat pizz~

Be wonderful

# data[].attributes.body
✅ 수정 전

I have never been to space before

I want to go to the Mars with the person who has wide knowledge about space

First, I want to check if the Mars has gravity

Second, I want to make sure the sky is always black on Mars

Lastly, I'd like to see I there's a place where water used to flow on Mars

It will be really pleased and proud of myself to travel in space

✅ 수정 후 (자연스럽고 문법적으로 맞게)

I have never been to space before.

I want to go to Mars with the person who has knowledge about Mars.

First, I want to check if Mars has gravity.

Second, I want to check if the sky is always black on Mars.

Lastly, I want to see if Mars has water.

It will be amazing to travel in space.

# data[].attributes.body
원본

I have never been to space before.

I want to go to the Mars with my friend.

First, I want to meet other creatures.

Second, I want to sleep in space.

Lastly, I want to grow plants.

It will be amazing and interesting to travel in space.

수정본

I have never been to space before.

I want to go to Mars with my friend.

First, I want to meet other creatures.

Second, I want to sleep in space.

Lastly, I want to grow plants.

It will be amazing and interesting to travel in space.

수정사항

“the Mars” → “Mars”

→ 행성 이름 앞에는 일반적으로 the를 붙이지 않습니다. (예: go to Mars, go to Jupiter)

# data[].attributes.body
I have never been to space before.

I want to go to the moon with Michal Jordan.

First, I want to wear a playing with jumping on the moon.

Second, I want to Dunking while playing basketball with Michael Jordan on the moon.

Lastly, I also want to sledding on the moon.

lt will be so exciting and fun travel in Moon.

수정본

I have never been to space before.

I want to go to the Moon with Michael Jordan.

First, I want to wear a space suit and jump on the Moon.

Second, I want to dunk while playing basketball with Michael Jordan on the Moon.

Lastly, I also want to go sledding on the Moon.

It is exciting????? to think about going to the Moon, and it will be a fun trip.

# data[].attributes.body
원본

I have never been to space before.

I want to go to the moon with my friend.

First, I want to try dropping things.

Second, I want to walk on the surface of the moon.

Lastly, I want to see earth fome the moon.

It will be seems surprising and scary to travel in space.

수정본

I have never been to space before.

I want to go to the moon with my friend.

First, I want to try dropping some water in space.

Second, I want to walk on the surface of the moon.

Lastly, I want to wash my hair on a spaceship.

It will be so surprising and scary to travel in space.

수정사항

Lastly, I want to see earth fome the moon.

❌ 철자 오류: “fome” → “from”

❌ 어법 오류: 지구(Earth)는 고유명사이므로 대문자로 써야 합니다.

→ 수정: Lastly, I want to see Earth from the moon.

It will be seems surprising and scary to travel in space.

❌ 어법 오류: 조동사 will 뒤에는 동사 원형이 와야 합니다.

→ “will be seems”는 틀림.

✔ 올바른 형태: It will seem surprising and scary to travel in space.

❌ 가주어 it + 진주어 to부정사 구문 사용 확인:

문장의 구조는

It + will seem + 형용사 + to travel in space

입니다.

여기서 it은 가주어, to travel in space는 진주어 역할을 하므로 구조는 맞습니다.

단, 동사만 수정하면 완벽합니다.

→ 수정 후: It will seem surprising and scary to travel in space.

# data[].attributes.body
I have never been on trip. (원본)

I want to go to Jupiter with Hojin.

First,I want to try space food.

Second,I want to float around.

Lastly,I want to play soccer.

It will be fun to go to space and good to feel zero gravity.

수정된 문장 (완성 버전)

> I have never been to space trip.

I want to go to Jupiter with Hojin.

First, I want to try space food.

Second, I want to float around.

Lastly, I want to play soccer.

It will be fun to go to space, and it will be amazing to feel different gravity.

---

💬 수정·보완 이유

수정 부분 설명

a trip “trip”은 셀 수 있는 명사라서 a 필요.

쉼표 뒤 공백 추가 “First,I” → “First, I” 식으로 띄어쓰기 수정.

amazing 사용 “surprising”보다 자연스럽고 긍정적인 감탄 느낌. 무중력의 신기함과 멋짐을 잘 표현함.

and it will be 독립된 절 연결 시 it will be 반복이 문법적으로 정확하고 리듬감이 좋음.

# data[].attributes.body
▪︎ 원본

I have never been to space before.

I want to go to the moon with Gamja, my friend's puppy.

First, I want to observe the stars and take photos on the moon.

Second, I want to drop a pen and other objects to compare how fast they fall on the moon and on Earth.

Lastly, I want to jump high on moon to experience low gravity.

It will be amazing to travel in moon

▪︎ 수정사항

on moon / in moon” → on the Moon, to the Moon (정관사 the 필요)

마지막 문장 뒤에 .이 안 붙음

▪︎ 수정

I have never been to space before.

I want to go to the Moon with Gamja, my friend’s puppy.

First, I want to observe the stars and take photos on the Moon.

Second, I want to drop a pen and other objects to compare how fast they fall on the Moon and on Earth.

Lastly, I want to jump high on the Moon to experience low gravity.

It will be amazing to travel to the Moon.

# data[].attributes.body
원본

I have never been to space before.

I want to go to the mars with my friend.

First, To see Mount Olympus with a friend.

Second, making a Fire on Mars.

lastly, Running on Mars.

lt will be so crazy and happy to travel in space.

수정본

I have never been to space before.

I want to go to Mars with my friend.

First, I want to see Mount Olympus with my friend.

Second, I want to make a fire on Mars.

Lastly, I also want to run on Mars.

It will be so thrilling and unforgettable to travel in space.

# data[].attributes.body
✏️ 수정 전 (Original)

I have never been to space before.

I want to go to the Mars with my future girlfriend.

First, I want to go to Mars with my girlfriend to find aliens.

Second, I want to do a back-lit on Mars.

Lastly, I want to find Olympus Mons on Mars.

It will be interesting to travel the Mars.

---

✅ 수정 후 (Revised & Polished)

I have never been to space before.

I want to go to Mars with my future girlfriend.

First, I want to go there with her to find aliens.

Second, I want to do a backflip on Mars.

Lastly, I want to visit Olympus Mons, the largest volcano on Mars.

It will be so interesting to travel to Mars together.

# data[].attributes.body
원본

I have never been to space before.

I want to go to Mars with my friends.

First l want to drink a drink floating in the air.

Second I want to observe the surface of Mars with my friends.

Lastly l want to observe other planets from Mars.

It will be It is a happy feeling to imagine eating and laughing with my friends on the spaceship.

수정본

I have never been to space before.

I want to go to Mars with my friends.

First, I want to drink orange juice floating in the air.

Second, I want to observe the surface of Mars with my friends.

Lastly, I want to observe other planets from Mars.

It will be expecting to imagine eating and laughing with my friends on the spaceship.

수정 사항

구분원문수정/검토설명철자l → I영어에서 인칭대명사 I는 항상 대문자입니다.어법It will be It is a happy feeling중복된 구문 삭제. 현재 상황의 감정을 표현하므로 It is가 맞습니다.구두점각 문장의 First, Second, Lastly 뒤에 쉼표 추가글의 구조를 명확하게 보여주기 위해 필요합니다.현재완료I have never been to space before.✅ 올바른 현재완료 시제 사용 (과거부터 지금까지 우주에 가본 적이 없음). 수정 필요 없음.가주어 / 진주어It is a happy feeling to imagine ...✅ 올바른 구문입니다. “It”이 가주어, “to imagine ...”이 진주어 역할을 하고 있습니다. 수정 불필요

# data[].attributes.body
원본

I have never been space

I want to go to mars with jiho

First, playing with water

second, float around

lastly try earth food in space

it will be good to space

수정본

I have never been to space.

I want to go to Mars with Jiho.

First, we play with water.

Second, we float around.

Lastly, we try Earth food in space.

It will be great to go to space.

“been space” → “been to space” : ‘go to / been to’는 장소 앞에 to가 꼭 필요합니다.

“mars” → “Mars” : 행성 이름은 대문자로 씁니다.

“jiho” → “Jiho” : 사람 이름도 대문자.

동사 형태 통일 : First / Second / Lastly 로 나열할 때는 동사 형태를 일관되게 (“we will ~”) 써주는 게 좋습니다.

마지막 문장 : “It will be good to space”은 어색해서, “It will be a great experience in space.” 로 자연스럽게 바꿨습니다.

# data[].attributes.body
원본

I have never been to space before.

I want to go to the moon with Hong Joong.

First, I want to observe and explore the moon.

Second, I want to see many planets on the moon.

Lastly, I want to float around in the spaceship.

It will be very thrilling and amazing to travel in space.

수정사항

First, I want to observe and explore the moon.

Second, I want to see many planets on the moon.

Lastly, I want to float around in the spaceship.

First, I want to observe and explore the surface of the moon.

Second, I want to see many planets from the moon.

Lastly, I want to float around inside the spaceship.

수정본

I have never been to space before.

I want to go to the moon with Hong Joong.

First, I want to observe and explore the surface of the moon.

Second, I want to see many planets from the moon.

Lastly, I want to float around inside the spaceship.

It will be very thrilling and amazing to travel in space.

# data[].attributes.body
원본

I haven't been there yet

I want to go to the moon with my friends. First, Sleeping in space

Second, Watching the moon

Lastly, Running in space

Exploring space would be really fun.

수정

I haven't been to space yet.

I want to go to the space station?????? with my friends.

First, we plan to sleep in space.

Second, we hope to watch the moon.

Lastly, we want to run in space.

It will be incredible to explore space!

# data[].attributes.body
원본

I have never been space before.

I want to go to Mars with my family.

First, I want to collect rocks on Mars.

Second, I want to grow plants in a grass dome.

Lastly I want to ride a space bike to explore Mars.

It will be fun to explore Mars.

챗GPT 수정

Never been -> never been to

Be fun -> thrilling

수정본

I have never been to space before.

I want to go to Mars with my family.

First, I want to collect rocks on Mars.

Second, I want to grow plants in a grass dome.

Lastly, I want to ride a space bike to explore Mars.

It will be thrilling to explore Mars.

# data[].attributes.body
원본

I have never been to space before.

I want to go to the moon with my friend.

First, I want to jump on the moon.

Second, I want to plant a flag on the moon.

Lastly, I also want to play tag with a friend on the moon.

It will be so thrilling to travel in space.

수정본

I have never been to space before.

I want to go to the Moon with my friend.

First, I want to jump on the Moon.

Second, I want to plant a flag on the Moon.

Lastly, I want to play tag with my friend on the Moon.

It will be so thrilling to travel in space.

💡 수정 및 설명:

“the moon” → “the Moon”

→ 고유명사이기 때문에 **‘Moon’**은 대문자로 쓰는 것이 맞습니다.

“play tag with a friend” → “play tag with my friend”

→ 위 문장에서 이미 “with my friend”라고 언급했으므로 일관성을 위해 my friend로 바꾸면 더 자연스럽습니다.

문장 구조나 시제는 모두 맞습니다.

→ “I have never been to space before.” (현재완료 시제, 과거부터 지금까지 한 번도 안 가봤다는 의미로 적절합니다.)

→ 나머지 문장들은 단순현재로 미래의 희망이나 계획을 말할 때 자연스럽게 사용된 형태입니다.

# data[].attributes.body
원본

I have never been to space before.

I want to go to the Mars with my friends.

First, I want to viewing the sun and planets from Mars.

Second, I want to running around on Mars.

Lastly, I also want to making water float on Mars and dring it

It will be amazing to travel in space

✅ 1. 철자 및 어법 오류 수정본

> I have never been to space before.

I want to go to Mars with my friends.

First, I want to view the Sun and planets from Mars.

Second, I want to run around on Mars.

Lastly, I also want to make water float on Mars and drink it.

It will be amazing to travel in space.

---

💡 2. 수정 이유 설명

원문 수정 후 수정 이유

the Mars Mars 행성 이름 앞에는 보통 관사 the를 붙이지 않습니다. (예: go to Mars, not the Mars)

viewing → view ‘want to’ 뒤에는 동사 원형이 와야 합니다. (to + 동사원형)

running → run 같은 이유로 want to + 동사원형(run)

making → make 같은 이유로 want to + 동사원형(make)

dring → drink 철자 오류 (dring ❌ → drink ✅)

Sun Sun 고유명사로서 S는 대문자로 써야 합니다. (the Sun)

---

⏳ 3. 현재완료 시제 확인

> I have never been to space before.

→ ✅ 현재완료 시제 정확하게 잘 썼습니다!

“지금까지 한 번도 우주에 가본 적이 없다”는 경험을 나타내므로 현재완료(have + p.p.) 사용이 아주 적절합니다.

---

🧩 4. 가주어 it + 진주어 to부정사 구문 확인

> It will be amazing to travel in space.

→ ✅ 완벽하게 맞는 문장입니다.

이 문장에서 it은 가주어,

to travel in space는 진주어(진짜 주어)입니다.

“우주 여행을 하는 것은 놀라울 것이다”라는 의미로 자연스럽고 문법적으로 정확합니다.

수정본

I have never been to space before.

I want to go to Mars with my friends.

First, I want to see the Sun and planets from Mars.

Second, I want to run around on Mars.

Lastly, I also want to make water float on Mars and drink it.

It will be amazing to travel in space.

# data[].attributes.body
<원본>

I have never been to space before.

I want to go to the Mars with my family.

First, I want to float and jump on air.

Second, I want to eat space food like dry icecream.

Lastly, I want to make a garden on Mars ground.

It will be exciting to travel the Mars.

<수정본>

I have never been to space before.

I want to go to Mars with my family.

First, I want to float and jump in the air.

Second, I want to eat space food like dried ice cream.

Lastly, I want to make a garden on the surface of Mars.

It will be enjoyful to travel to Mars.

---

설명:

the Mars → Mars : 행성 이름 앞에는 관사를 붙이지 않습니다.

jump on air → jump in the air : “jump in the air”이 올바른 표현이에요.

dry icecream → dried ice cream : “건조된 아이스크림”은 “dried ice cream”이라고 해야 합니다.

on Mars ground → on the surface of Mars : “on Mars ground”는 어색하고, “on the surface of Mars”가 자연스러워요.

travel the Mars → travel to Mars : travel 뒤에는 장소가 나오면 보통 “to”를 씁니다.

# data[].attributes.body
원본

I have never been to space before.

I want to go to moon with my younger brother.

First, I want to drink cocktail from the air.

Second, I want to jump very high on moon.

Lastly, I want to fly in space to see the Earth from above.

It will be fun to jump high and fly in space.

챗 GPT수정

cocktail -> water

on moon -> on the moon

Fun -> thrilling

수정본

I have never been to space before.

I want to go to moon with my younger brother.

First, I want to drink water from the air.

Second, I want to jump very high on the moon.

Lastly, I want to fly in space to see the Earth from above.

It will be thrilling to jump high and fly in space.

# data[].attributes.headline
GPT검토: [1. 원본]스펠, 어법, 현재완료, 가주어, 진주어 검토-[2. 수정본] 현재완료, 가주어it 진주어to 부정사 형광펜-[3. 수정사항 설명] 

# data[].attributes.subject
GPT검토: [1. 원본]스펠, 어법, 현재완료, 가주어, 진주어 검토-[2. 수정본] 현재완료, 가주어it 진주어to 부정사 형광펜-[3. 수정사항 설명] 

# data[].attributes.body
GPT 활용사항

1. 글에서 철자오류, 어법 오류가 있다면 수정해주고 왜 그런지 이유를 설명해주세요.

2. 글에 현재완료 시제가 바르게 쓰였는지 확인해주시고 수정이 필요하다면 바르게 고쳐주세요.

3. 내가 쓴 글 중에 가주어 it과 진주어 to부정사 구문이 어법적으로 잘 쓰였는지 확인해 주시고 수정이 필요하다면 바르게 고쳐주세요.

# data[].attributes.body
원본

First,lbad habit ls looking at ur phone while walkng

To solve this problem should put your phone ln your pocket

Second, bad habit looking at your phone before going

To so very this problem, wh ich in vo lves putting your phone away lwill need to make a bait cmnge

l fe El sad about my bad habi ts

T hereore, l will try to break bd baal

수정

First, lbad → [a bad] habit ls → [is] looking at ur → [your] phone while walkng → [walking]

To solve this problem (should → [you should]) put your phone ln → [in] your pocket

Second, bad habit looking → [a bad habit is looking] at your phone before going (→ [to bed])

To so very → [To solve] this problem, wh ich in vo lves → [which involves] putting your phone away lwill → [I will] need to make a bait cmnge → [big change]

l fe El → [I feel] sad about my habi ts → [habits]

T hereore → [Therefore], l → [I] will try to break bd baal → [my bad habits]

# data[].attributes.body
수정전

first, I bad habit texting

while walking

to solve this problem, i

should use apps that

lock the screen while

i feel sad about bad

habit

i will try to break my bad

habits

수정후

첫번째 문장 쓰기 ????????

First, l have a bad habit

of texting while walking.

To solve this problem, l

should use apps that

lock the screen while I'm

walking.

두번째 문제점과 해결방안이 없음.

I feel sad about this bad

habit,but I will try to

break it.

I will try to break my bad

habits, which make my

life difficult

# data[].attributes.body
I have two bad habits that I want to change.

1. First, I use the phone for a long time, which is a problem.

To solve this problem, I should set a time limit.

2. Second, I go to bed late, which makes me tired and sad.

To solve this problem, I will create regular sleep habits.

3. I feel sad about habits.

Therefore, I will try my best.

# data[].attributes.body
✅ 원문

1. First, I sit with my back bent.

2. To solve this problem, I should sit with my 🤬 against the backrest that I should lean against when I sit on the chair.

3. Second, I swear a lot.

4. To solve this problem, I will speak in a way which helps me swear less.

5. I feel like I'm putting myself down.

6. I will stop procrastinating and get started.

[수정문장]

첫번째문장 쓰기,

수정된 문장 모두 쓰기.

그림표시 ????

I have two bad habits that I want to change.

First, I sit with my back bent.

To solve this problem, I will sit with my back straight and lean against the backrest when sitting in the chair.

Second, I swear a lot.

To solve this problem, I will speak in a way that helps me swear less.

I feel like I'm putting myself down.

I will stop procrastinating and get started.

---

✏️ 수정된 문장

1. First, I sit with my back bent.

→ ✅ 정확한 문장입니다.

2. To solve this problem, I should sit with my 🤬????? against the backrest that I should lean against when sitting in the chair.

→ ✅ 약간 다듬을 수 있음:

"To solve this problem, I should sit with my 🤬 against the backrest, which I should lean against when sitting in the chair."

왜 수정했는가?

원래 문장도 틀린 건 아니지만, "that I should lean against"는 약간 반복적인 느낌을 주므로 "which I should lean against"로 바꾸면 더 자연스럽고 매끄럽습니다.

그리고 "when I sit on the chair"보다는 **"when sitting in the chair"**가 더 자연스럽습니다. 영어에서는 보통 chair는 "sit in a chair"라고 합니다 ("on a chair"는 다소 어색하게 들릴 수 있음).

3. Second, I swear a lot.

→ ✅ 정확한 문장입니다.

4. To solve this problem, I will speak in a way which helps me swear less.

→ ❌ 수정:

"To solve this problem, I will speak in a way that helps me swear less."

왜 수정했는가?

"which"는 비제한적 용법(콤마 사용)일 때 자주 쓰이고, 제한적(한정적) 용법에서는 보통 **"that"**을 사용합니다.

여기서는 **"a way"**를 한정하므로 **"that"**이 더 어법에 맞습니다.

5. I feel like I'm putting myself down.

→ ✅ 정확한 문장입니다.

6. I will stop procrastinating and get started.

→ ✅ 정확한 문장입니다.

---

🔍 관계대명사 확인

현재 문장에서 관계대명사는 다음과 같이 사용되고 있습니다:

"the backrest that I should lean against" → 목적격 관계대명사 "that" 사용 → 적절하게 사용됨

"a way which helps me swear less" → "which"는 "that"으로 고치는 게 어법상 더 자연스러움 → 위에서 수정함

# data[].attributes.body
원본

I have two bad habits that I want to change.

First, I biting nail

To solve this problem, I should set small goals.

Second, I forget my things

To solve this problem, I will check my stuff.

I feel fear about my bad habits.

I will try to fix them.

수정본

I have two bad habits that I want to change.

First, I bite my nails.

To solve this problem, I should set small goals such as rewarding myself if I don’t bite my nails for one day.

Second, I often lose my stuff.

To solve this problem, I will check my stuff before I leave.

I feel worried about my bad habits.

Therefore, I will try to fix them.

고친 점

I should set small goals. 🚫

I should set small goals such as reward myself if I don’t bite my nails for one day. ✅️

I forgot my stuff. 🚫

I often lose my stuff. ✅️

# data[].attributes.body
I have two bad habits that I want to change.

First, I talk too much in everyday life.

To solve this problem, I should control my habit which makes me talk too much by thinking before I speak.

Second, I have a bad habit of picking my nails.

To solve this problem, I will keep my fingernails short and neat and stop the habit that I have.

I feel ashamed of my two bad habits.

Therefore, I will speak less and also try to stop my nail-picking.

# data[].attributes.body
원본

I have two bad habits that I want to change.

First, I put off annoying things.

To solve this problem, I should write down the negative effects of procrastinating.

Second, I spend money too freely without thinking.

To solve this problem, I will save money regularly in a savings account.

I feel regret and guilt.

Therefore, I will stick to my solutions and do my best to change the habits that make me feel regret and guilt.

수정본

I have two bad habits that I want to change.

First, I put off unpleasant tasks.

To solve this problem, I should write down the negative effects of putting things off.

Second, I spend money carelessly without thinking.

To solve this problem, I will save money regularly in a savings account.

I feel guilty and regretful about my bad habits.

Therefore, I will stick to my solutions and do my best to change the habits that are causing me regret.

---

### 📝 비교 + 수정 표시

1. **원문**: I put off **annoying things**.

**수정**: I put off ***unpleasant tasks***.

👉 *귀찮은 일을 미루는 것* → "annoying things"는 보통 사람이나 상황에 쓰여서 어색, "unpleasant tasks"가 더 자연스러움.

---

2. **원문**: write down the negative effects of **procrastinating**.

**수정**: write down the negative effects of ***putting things off***.

👉 의미는 같지만 "procrastinating"은 교과서적이고 딱딱한 느낌. 구어체에서는 "putting things off"가 더 자연스러움.

---

3. **원문**: I spend money **too freely** without thinking.

**수정**: I spend money ***carelessly*** without thinking.

👉 "too freely"는 해석은 되지만, 돈 쓸 때는 보통 "carelessly / recklessly"를 사용.

---

4. **원문**: I feel **regret and guilt**.

**수정**: I feel ***guilty and regretful***.

👉 "regret and guilt"는 직역체, 형용사형으로 쓰면 더 자연스러움.

---

5. **원문**: the habits that make me feel **regret and guilt**.

**수정**: the habits that ***cause me regret and guilt***.

👉 "make me feel"은 가능하지만 반복적인 느낌. "cause me"가 더 간결하고 세련됨.

# data[].attributes.headline
2학기 수행1[나쁜 습관 소개하고 해결 방안 제시하는 글쓰기]

# data[].attributes.subject
2학기 수행1[나쁜 습관 소개하고 해결 방안 제시하는 글쓰기]

# data[].attributes.body
수정 전

first, i bad habits is looking at your phone while walking

to solve this problem i should put your phone in your pocket

second, i bad habit looking at your phone before going to bed

To solve this problem, which involves putting your phone away, I will need to make a habit change.

i feel bad about bad habits

i will try to break my bad habits

수정 후

First, my bad habit is looking at my phone while walking.

To solve this problem, I should put my phone in my pocket.

Second, my bad habit is looking at my phone before going to bed.

To solve this problem, I need to change this habit by putting my phone away.

I feel sad about my bad habits.

I will try to break my bad habits.

# data[].attributes.body
원문

First, I often use my smartphone too much.

To solve this problem, I should limit my screen time.

Second, I sometimes stay up too late.

To solve this problem, I will go to bed earlier.

I feel bad and tired because of my bad habits.

I will try to fix my habits and live more healthily.

수정

????????????

First, I often use my smartphone too much.

To solve this problem, I should limit my screen time.?????

Second, I sometimes stay up too late.

To solve this problem, I will go to bed earlier.

I feel bad and tired because of these bad habits.

I will try to fix them and live more healthily

gpt수정

I have two bad habits that I want to change.

First, I often use my smartphone too much, which is not good for my health. To solve this problem, I should limit my screen time by setting an alarm and avoiding phone use before bed.

Second, I sometimes stay up too late, which makes me feel very tired. To solve this problem, I will go to bed earlier and try to keep a regular sleep schedule.

I feel bad and tired because of these bad habits.

I will try to fix so that I can live more healthily.

# data[].attributes.body
원본

First, l The habitat of looking at your phone on the street to solve this problem I try to get my mind off my

phone so I don't look at it on

the street.Second, l habits tnat lead to bad words and actions to solve this problem l willTo be careful with your words

and actions, look back at

yourself and think again

before speaking and acting,

l feel l thou ghtl had to flxit l will l thought I should make an

effort to avoid doing this in

the future.

수정본

I have two bad habits that I want to change

First, I the habit which makes me look at my phone on the street

To solve this problem, I try to get my mind off my phone so that I don’t look at it on the street.

Second, I habits that lead to bad words and actions

????

To solve this problem, I will be careful with the words that I use and the actions that I take. ????????

I will look back at myself and think again before speaking and acting.

I feeI I had to fix this, and

Therefore, I will I thought I should make an effort to avoid doing this in the future

수정사항

반복적인 단어 정리 및 자연스러운 연결

원본:

“Second, l habits tnat lead to bad words and actions to solve this problem l willTo be careful with your words and actions, look back at yourself and think again before speaking and acting,”

수정본:

“Second, the habits that lead to bad words and actions — to solve this problem, I will be careful with the words that I use and the actions that I take. I will look back at myself and think again before speaking and acting.”

→

원본은 "l habits tnat" 등 오타가 있고, 문장도 너무 길고 혼란스러움.

수정본은 문장 부호(대시, 쉼표)를 적절히 써서 뜻이 더 명확해지고, 주어와 동사도 명확해졌음.

# data[].attributes.body
수정 전 (원문)

I have two bad habits that I want to change.

First, I shaking my legs in a daze.

To solve this problem, I should reduce anxiety by relieving tension and managing stress and make a conscious effort not do shake my legs.

Second, l turned the pen without thinking.

To solve this problem, I will put the pen in my pencil case when i'm not using it in the future

I feel so regretful for two bad habits. I feel very distracting

will try hard and put solutions into actions for a better life.

I will only take out the pen when l need to use it, and I will try not to shake my legs.

수정후

I have two bad habits that I want to change.

First, I often shake my legs absentmindedly.

To solve this problem, I should reduce anxiety by relieving tension and managing stress, and I will make a conscious effort not to shake my legs.

Second, I spin my pen without thinking.

To solve this problem, I will put the pen in my pencil case when I'm not using it in the future.

I feel regretful about these two bad habits because they are very distracting.

I will try hard to put these solutions into action for a better life.

https://www.canva.com/design/DAG0U7R75Hw/-5hbAhR7jlm536jGECN2-Q/edit?utm_content=DAG0U7R75Hw&utm_campaign=designshare&utm_medium=link2&utm_source=sharebutton

# data[].attributes.body
수정 전

I have two bad habit that I want to change.

First, I'm a picky eater, so I've gained weight and my health has deteriorated.

To solve this problem, I need to eat vegetables regularly.

Second, I gossip when I'm angry.

To solve this problem, I need to stop gossiping about others, even when we're apart.

I think I need to change my picky eating habits and the way I speak.

I need to break this bad habit and develop good ones, which I need to practice.

수정후 (감정 표현 문장 추가. 관대 표시)

I have two bad habit that I want to change.

First, I am a picky eater, which makes me lose weight and feel weak.

To fix this problem, I will eat vegetables which that are good for my health.

Second, I say bad things when I’m angry, which hurts others.

I want to stop saying bad things which about people who are not with me anymore.

I feel worried which because I have this bad habit.

I will try to make good habits which help me become a better person.

# data[].attributes.body
안 고친거

1. What is your 1st bad habit?

→ I look at my phone before sleeping.

2. What is your solution for the 1st bad habit?

→ I won’t use my phone before sleeping.

3. What is your 2nd bad habit?

→ I enjoy using my smartphone too much.

4. What is your solution for the 2nd bad habit?

→ I will keep my phone away and talk with people for at least 30 minutes a day.

5. How do you feel about your two bad habits?

→ I feel they are bad habits.

6. What is your resolution for the bad habits?

→ I decided to use my smartphone less and spend more time with my family and friends.

고친거

1. What is your 1st bad habit?

→ I look at my phone before sleeping, which is a bad habit that hurts my eyes.

2. What is your solution for the 1st bad habit?

→ I won’t use my phone before sleeping.

3. What is your 2nd bad habit?

→ I enjoy using my smartphone too much, which makes me waste time.

4. What is your solution for the 2nd bad habit?

→ I will keep my phone away and talk with people who are around me for at least 30 minutes a day.

5. How do you feel about your two bad habits?

6. What is your resolution for the bad habits?

→ I decided to use my smartphone less and spend more time with my family and friends.

# data[].attributes.body
수정 전

I have two bad habits that I want to change.

First, I tend to procrastinate.

To solve this problem, I should make a daily schedule and stick to it.

Second, I spend a lot of time playing games.

To solve this problem, I will set a take limit on gaming.

I feel worried about two of my habits.

I will try to change my habits to live a better life.

수정 후

I have two bad habits that I want to change.

First, I tend to procrastinate

To solve this problem, I should make a daily schedule and stick to it.

Second, I spend too much time playing games.

To solve this problem, I will set a time limit on gaming that helps me.

I feel concerned about these two habits.

I will try to change them so I can live a better life.

수정 내용

A lot of time playing games --> too much time playing games

To solve this problem, I will set a take limit on gaming. --> To solve this problem, I will set a time limit on gaming that helps me

Worried about two of my habits --> concerned about these two habits.

Try to change my habits to live a better --> try to change them so I can live a better life.

# data[].attributes.body
네! 지금까지 주신 문장과 제가 수정한 최종 문장까지 포함해서, 관계대명사와 의지 표현 조동사 위치를 모두 표시해 드릴게요.

그리고 수정 내용도 다시 간단히 정리해 드립니다.

---

최종 수정본 문장 (관계대명사/조동사 표시 포함)

---

1. First, I have a bad habit of crossing my legs.

관계대명사: 없음

조동사: 없음

---

2. To solve this problem, I must sit upright, which I do whenever I notice it.

관계대명사: which (앞 문장 “I must sit upright”를 받음)

조동사: must (의지 표현)

---

3. Second, I have a bad habit of procrastinating.

관계대명사: 없음

조동사: 없음

---

4. To solve this problem, I will start tasks immediately, which is what I must do.

관계대명사: which, what (둘 다 관계대명사 역할)

조동사: will, must

---

5. I feel disgusted about my bad habits, especially because I have not been able to fix them yet.

관계대명사: 없음

조동사: have (조동사 ‘have’ + 과거분사 ‘been’의 완료 시제 표현)

부정 형태: not been able to (‘~할 수 없다’ 의미)

조동사 ‘will’이나 ‘must’는 없음

---

6. I will fix the habits that have held me back, and I won't give up.

관계대명사: that (앞에 ‘habits’ 수식)

조동사: will (의지 표현), won't (will not, 부정 의지 표현)

---

수정 내용 요약

수정 내용 설명

“that I procrastinate” → “of procrastinating” ‘procrastinate’가 자동사이므로 ‘habit of ~ing’ 표현이 자연스러움

중복 문장 제거 “To solve this problem, I will start tasks immediately...” 문장이 두 번 반복되어 한 번만 남김

새 문장 추가 “I feel disgusted about my bad habits...” (나쁜 습관에 대한 감정과 고치지 못함을 표현)

단수 → 복수 변경 habit → habits (복수형)

관계대명사, 조동사 위치 확인 및 정리 문법적 정확성과 자연스러운 흐름 확보

---

해석 (다시 한번)

1. 첫째, 나는 다리를 꼬고 앉는 나쁜 습관이 있다.

2. 이 문제를 해결하기 위해, 나는 똑바로 앉아야 하며, 그 습관을 발견할 때마다 그렇게 한다.

3. 둘째, 나는 미루는 나쁜 습관이 있다.

4. 이 문제를 해결하기 위해, 나는 즉시 일을 시작할 것이며, 그것이 내가 반드시 해야 할 일이다.

5. 나는 내 나쁜 습관들에 대해 혐오감을 느끼는데, 특히 아직 고치지 못했다는 점에서 그렇다.

6. 나는 나를 뒤처지게 했던 습관들을 고칠 것이며, 절대 포기하지 않을 것이다.

---

필요하면 이 문장들을 더 다듬거나 다른 문법 포인트도 자세히 설명해 드릴 수 있어요!

First, I have a bad habit of crossing my legs.

To solve this problem, I must sit upright, which I do whenever I notice it.

Second, I have a bad habit of procrastinating.

To solve this problem, I will start tasks immediately, which is what I must do.

I feel disgusted about my bad habits, especially because I have not been able to fix them yet.

I will fix the habits that have held me back, and I won't give up.

# data[].attributes.body
원본

I have two bad habits that I want to change.

First, I have the habit of procrastinating, which I really dislike.

To solve this problem, I will set an alarm.

Second, I have the habit of resting my chin on my hand.

To solve this problem, I will keep good posture.

I feel bad about these habits.

Therefore, I will keep being aware of whether I am doing well.

✨ 수정 버전

I have two bad habits that I want to change.

First, I have the habit of procrastinating, which I really dislike.

To solve this problem, I will set an alarm.

Second, I have the habit of resting my chin on my hand, which makes me look lazy. (추가하면 더 자연스러움, 선택사항)

To solve this problem, I will keep good posture.

I feel bad about these habits.

Therefore, I will keep being aware of whether I am doing well.

---

📌 수정 포인트

“keep good posture” → 원래는 맞는 표현이지만, 조금 더 자연스럽게 쓰려면 “maintain good posture” 라고 해도 좋아.

문단 흐름을 위해 Second… 문장 뒤에 which makes me look lazy 같은 작은 부연 설명을 붙이면 훨씬 자연스러워짐. (선택사항)

# data[].attributes.body
원본

First, l biting nais. To solve the problem,l should bandage one's fingernails. Second, l sleep late To solve this problem, l will Turn off your smartphone 20nihutes before geting to badly. l feel sad,I will try to break my bad habits.

수정본

I have two bad habits that l want to change.

First, I bite my nails, which is a habit I want to stop.

To solve this problem, I should bandage my fingernails.

Second, I sleep late, which makes me tired in the morning.

To solve this problem, I will turn off my smartphone

20 minutes before going to bed.

I feel sad because I can’t get rid of my bad habits.

I will try to break the bad habits which bother me.

🔎 수정 포인트:

l → I : 영어에서 1인칭은 항상 대문자 I.

biting nais → bite my nails : 현재 습관은 I bite my nails라고 단순현재 시제 + 소유격 my 사용. spelling 오류도 수정(nails).

one's fingernails → my fingernails : 자기 자신을 가리키므로 my 사용.

sleep late → (OK) 하지만 문장 끝에 마침표 추가.

Turn off → turn off : 문장 중간은 대문자로 시작하지 않음.

your smartphone → my smartphone : 자신의 습관이므로 my.

20nihutes → 20 minutes : 철자 오류.

geting to badly → going to bed : 올바른 표현은 “go to bed” (잠자리에 들다). spelling 오류도 수정(getting → going).

I feel sad,I will… → I feel sad, so I will… : 두 문장을 연결할 때 접속사 so가 자연스러움.

# data[].attributes.body
원본

I have two bad habits that I want to change

First, I swear a lot when I hang out with my friends.

To solve this problem, I should think before I speak.

Second, I get excited a lot when I exercise.

To solve this problem, I will take a deep breath and clear my mind.

I feel a deep sadness that affects me deeply.

I will become a person who practices self-control and thinks carefully.

수정본

I have two bad habits that I want to change

First, I swear a lot when I hang out with my friends.

To solve this problem, I should think before I speak.

Second, I get excited a lot when I exercise.

To solve this problem, I will take a deep breath and clear my mind.

I feel uncomfortable and sad because of my habits.

I will become a person who practices self-control and thinks carefully.

수정사항

I feel uncomfortable and sad에서 그 기분이 느껴지는 이유를 적음

# data[].attributes.body
원본

I have two bad habits that I want to change.

First, I use my phone late at night. Because of this, I often feel tired the next day.

To solve this problem, I should turn off my phone at 11 o'clock.

Second, I swear a lot when I feel angry.

To solve this problem, I will stop using words that hurt others and try to speak more kindly.

I feel upset about my bad habits.

I will stick with these solutions.

수정본

(I don't think 큰 수정 필요 없음. 다 자연스러워요!)

주요 수정사항

문법이나 어법상 틀린 부분이 없고, 의미 전달도 명확해서 굳이 고칠 필요가 없습니다.

"turn off my phone at 11"에서 "11"은 "11 PM"으로 명확히 해도 좋아요.

"stop using words that hurt others" 대신 "stop saying words that hurt others"가 더 자연스러울 수 있지만, 원래 문장도 문제 없음.

필요하면 고쳐본 예:

To solve this problem, I should turn off my phone at 11 PM.

To solve this problem, I will stop saying words that hurt others.

# data[].attributes.body
First, I spend too much time on the games which I play To slove this problem, I should set a limit on my game time Second, I do not exercise enough To slove this problem I will exercise at least 2hours a week I feel disappointed I will remove one hour of gaming per week

틀린 부분 slove → solve

(철자 오류) 2hours → 2 hours (띄어쓰기 필요)

수정본

TITLE:MBH

First, I spend too much time on playing the game

To solve this problem, I should remove the game apps which i like. Second, I do not exercise enough

To solve this problem, I will go to the gym three times a week I feel disappointed with myself because of my two bad habits

Therefore, I will make plans and act according my resolution

# data[].attributes.body
[원본]

I have two bad habits that I want to change.

First, I use my cell phone for too long.

To slove this problem, I should hang a kid's lock on one's phone.

Second, I Look at the phone too close.

To slove this problem, I will keeping a proper distance.

I feel be annoyed and resentful.

Therefore, l will work hard and fix it quickly

[수정본]

I have two bad habits that I want to change.

First, I use my cell phone for too long.
To solve this problem, I should hang a child’s lock, which can help limit my phone usage.

Second, I look at the phone too closely.
To solve this problem, I will keep a proper distance from the screen, which will help protect my eyes.

These habits make me feel annoyed and resentful.
Therefore, I will work hard to fix them quickly.

[중요수정사항]

Spelling mistakes 고침: "slove" → "solve", "kid's lock" → "child’s lock", "keeping" → "keep", "Look" → "look"

관계대명사 추가

that I want to change → 목적격 관계대명사

which can help → 주격 관계대명사

which will help protect

which have been bothering me

# data[].attributes.body
원본

First,I lose my cards often.

To solve this problem, I should fix the card position.

Second, I check every time a text that comes in.

To solve problem I will set a time to check texts

I feel angry for bad habits

I will do it consistently.

수정된 글

I have two bad habits that I want to change

First, I often lose my credit cards.

To solve this problem, I should fix the place where I put my credit cards.

Second, I check messages that everytime comes in.

To solve this problem, I will set a time to check messages.

I feel angry about my bad habits, but I will overcome them.

I will keep trying solutions consistently.

수정포인트

관계대명사(that) 사용

전치사/표현을 영어식으로 매끄럽게 수정

# data[].attributes.body
원본

I have two bad habits that l want to change.

First, I am picky about food.

To solve this problem, I should eat a variety of food.

Second, I look at your smart phone in the dark.

To solve this problem, I will not miss your smart phone around me in the dark.

I feel upset.

Therefore, I will work hard and make myself good.

수정본

I have two bad habits that l want to change.

First, I am picky about vegetables.

To solve this problem, I should eat a variety of foods which are good for my health.

Second, I look at my smartphone in the dark.

To solve this problem, I will not put my smartphone around me in the dark.

I feel upset for two bad habits.

Therefore, I will diligently follow the solutions above and make myself better.

👉 주요 수정점:

a variety of food → a variety of foods (여러 가지 음식)

look at your smart phone → look at my smartphone (자기 얘기이므로 my)

miss your smartphone around me in the dark → not use my smartphone in the dark (원래 표현은 어색함 → 의도에 맞게 수정)

make myself good → make myself better (자연스럽게)

# data[].attributes.body
원문

First, l overslept on weekdays. To solve this problem.

I should get up ten minutes early.

second, l to have difficulty controlling one's emotions.

To solve this problem, l will learn how to control emotions according to situations.

I feel anxiety.

I will Even if it's annoying, l don't give up.

수정본

I have two bad habits that l want to change.

First, I often oversleep on weekdays.

To solve this problem, I should get up ten minutes earlier.

Second, I have difficulty controlling my emotions.

To solve this problem, I will learn how to manage my emotions in different situations.

I feel anxious ??????? ecause of bad habits.

I will be someone who will not give up ???????? and will put solutions into action for a better life.

# data[].attributes.body
원문

I have two bad habits that want to change.

First, I come to school and sleep, so I can't hear the class.

To solve this problem, I will go to bad at 11 o'clock, which is earlier than my usual time.

Second, my eyes hurt because I use my phone for a long time.

To solve this problem, I need to use my phone less and seaside time for it.

I feel so regretful and really sad because my bad habits are so hard to break, and I'm confused and don't know how to fix them.

Therefore, I will sleep early and use my phone less.

수정본

I have two bad habits that I want to change.

First, I come to school and sleep, so I can't hear the class.

To solve this problem, I will go to bed at 11 o'clock, which is earlier than my usual time.

Second, my eyes hurt because I use my phone for a long time.

To solve this problem, I will use my phone less and set aside time for it.

I feel so regretful and really sad because my bad habits are so hard to break, and I'm confused and don't know how to fix them.

Therefore, I will sleep early, use my phone less, and change the habits that make my life difficult.

# data[].attributes.body
원본

I have two bad habits that I want to change.

First, I sleep too late at night, so I can't get up early the next morning.

To solve this problem, I should go to bed right away at 10 o' clock from now on.

Second, people hate me because I swear too much.

To solve this problem, I will change the behavior that makes people dislike me.

I feel so regretful and really sad because my bad habits are so hard to break, and I'm confused and don't know how to fix them.

Therefore, I will promise to improve myself, and I will be careful, sleep early, and speak nicely.

수정본

I have two bad habits that I want to change.

First, I sleep too late at night, so I can't get up early the next morning.

To solve this problem, I will go to bed at 10 o'clock, which is earlier than my usual time.

Second, people hate me because I swear too much.

To solve this problem, I will change the behavior that makes people dislike me.

I feel so regretful and really sad because my bad habits are so hard to break, and I'm confused and don't know how to fix them.

Therefore, I will promise to improve myself, and I will be careful, sleep early, and speak nicely.

# data[].attributes.body
원본

I have two bad habits that I want to change.

First, I using smartphone during conversation.

To solve this problem, I should turn off your smartphone and talk to the other person.

Second, I am picky about carrots.

To solve this problem, I will try eating a variety of foods you don't normally eat.

I feel doldrums.

I will continue to work hard to implement solutions.

수정본

I have two bad habits that I want to change.

First, I use my smartphone during conversations, which distracts me from engaging fully.

To solve this problem, I should turn off my smartphone when I am talking with others.

Second, I am picky about carrots, which limits my diet.

To solve this problem, I will try eating a variety of foods that I don’t normally eat.

I feel frustrated because the communication wasn't smooth.

Therefore, I will continue to work hard to put these solutions into practice.

수정사항

“I using” → “I use”: ‘I using’은 문법적으로 틀립니다. 주어 + 동사원형(현재형) 구조가 되어야 해서 ‘I use’가 맞습니다.

“smartphone” → “my smartphone”: 소유격 ‘my’를 넣어 더 자연스럽고 명확하게 표현했습니다.

“conversation” → “conversations”: 복수형으로 바꾸어 ‘여러 대화 상황’을 의미하도록 했습니다.

your smartphone” → “my smartphone”: 주어가 ‘I’이므로, 소유격도 ‘my’여야 맞습니다. ‘your’는 상대방 것을 의미해서 문맥에 맞지 않습니다.

“and talk to the other person” → “when I am talking with others”: 자연스럽고 구체적인 표현으로 바뀌었습니다. ‘talk to the other person’보다는 ‘talking with others’가 더 자연스러운 영어 표현입니다

“you don't” → “I don’t”: 주어가 ‘I’이므로 ‘you’ 대신 ‘I’를 써야 문법에 맞고 의미가 명확합니다.

“that I don’t normally eat”: 관계대명사 ‘that’ 사용으로 ‘평소에 내가 잘 먹지 않는’ 음식을 명확히 설명합니다.

“feel doldrums”: ‘doldrums’는 명사로, 감정을 표현할 때 ‘feel’과 자연스럽게 쓰이지 않습니다.

“feel frustrated sometimes”: ‘frustrated’는 감정을 나타내는 형용사로 ‘feel’과 자연스럽게 쓰이고, ‘sometimes’를 넣어 감정을 좀 더 자연스럽고 일상적인 표현으로 바꿨습니다.

“Therefore”: 문장 연결을 더 자연스럽게 해줍니다.

“put these solutions into practice”: ‘implement solutions’도 맞지만, ‘put into practice’가 좀 더 일상적이고 자연스러운 표현입니다.

“these solutions”: ‘solutions’ 앞에 ‘these’를 넣어 앞에서 말한 해결책들을 가리키도록 명확히 했습니다.

# data[].attributes.body
원본

I have two bad habits that I want to change.

First, I have a bad habit of procrastinating.

To solve this problem, I should count to 5 seconds and start working right away.

Second, I'm not good at keeping appointments.

To solve this problem, I will be ready 20 minutes before your appointment.

I feel so remorseful for two bad habits.

Therefore, I will become a sincere person.

수정본

I have two bad habits that I want to change.

First, I have a bad habit of putting off work.

To solve this problem, I should count to 5 seconds and start working right away.

Second, I'm not good at keeping appointments.

To solve this problem, I will be ready 20 minutes before the appointment that is scheduled.

I feel so remorseful for two bad habits.

Therefore, I will put in effort and take action to create a better life.

# data[].attributes.body
원본

First, I have a habit that involves not cleaning my room well.

To solve this problem, I should clean my room once a week.

Second, I have a habit of putting things behind my back.

To solve this problem, I will do my job right away.

I feel regret about that.

I will live with will and do what I have to do.

수정본

First, I have a habit that makes me avoid cleaning my room properly.???????

To fix this, I will clean it once a week

Second, I have a habit which causes me to put things off.???

To change this, I will do tasks as soon as I can.

These are habits that I regret.?????? ????

From now on, I will be someone who does what needs to be done with determination.

수정사항

"that involves not cleaning..." → "that makes me avoid cleaning..."

→ 더 명확하게 "그 습관 때문에 방을 안 치우게 된다"는 원인-결과 구조로 표현됨

"well" → "properly"

→ more natural and precise (well은 너무 모호함)

"To solve this problem" → "To fix this"

→ 더 간결하고 일상적인 표현으로 수정

"I should" → "I will"

→ 의지를 표현하는 조동사 'will' 사용

"putting things behind my back" → "put things off"

→ 원래 표현은 영어에서 자연스럽지 않음. "미루다"의 정확한 표현으로 교체

관계대명사 "which causes me to..." 추가

→ 습관이 어떤 결과를 초래하는지 설명하는 구조로 바꿈

"solve this problem" → "change this"

→ 더 간결하고 자연스러운 표현

"do my job" → "do tasks"

→ "my job"은 직장 업무처럼 들릴 수 있음. 일반적인 일(tasks)로 표현

"right away" → "as soon as I can"

→ 조금 더 부드러운 의지 표현

막연한 "that" → 명확하게 "These are habits"

"feel regret about" → "regret"

→ 더 간결하고 자연스러운 표현

관계대명사 "that I regret" 추가 → 문장 연결과 강조

"live with will" → 어색한 표현 → **"with determination"**으로 대체

"do what I have to do" → "do what needs to be done"

→ 더 자연스럽고 강한 책임감 표현

"I will be someone who..." → 관계대명사 "who" 사용하여 자신에 대한 미래 다짐을 강조

수정본
I have two bad habits that I want to change.
First, I avoid cleaning my room properly. To solve this problem, I will clean it once a week from now on.
Second, I often put things off. To solve this problem, I will try to do tasks as soon as possible.
I feel regret having these bad habits. Therefore I will try hard to put my plans into action and become a more responsible person.

# data[].attributes.body
I have two bad habits that I want to change.

First, I used to ask my mom for help after using the bathroom when I was little.

To solve this problem, I will handle it myself like a person who is home alone.

Second, I used to play with my toys and leave them on the floor.

To solve this problem, I will put away the toys that I play with instead of leaving them out.

I feel I should become a person who can take care of myself.

Therefore, I will first use the bathroom by myself instead of asking my mom for help.

I will second tidy up the toys that I use, so my room becomes clean.

---

I have two bad habits to change.

First, I often use bad words when I get upset.

To solve this problem, I will speak politely.

Second, I don’t bow when greeting others.

To solve this problem, I will practice bowing until it becomes a habit.

Therefore, I will stop using bad words and bow properly when I greet others.

# data[].attributes.body
원본

I have two bad habits that I want to change.

First, I bite my nails, which is something I want to stop.

To solve this problem, I should apply nail polish.

Second, I eat snacks too often, which is not good for my health.

To solve this problem, I will keep snacks out of sight.

I find it difficult, which sometimes makes me frustrated.

Therefore, I will not give up.

수정본

I have two bad habits that I want to change.

First, I bite my nails. This is a habit that I want to stop.

To solve this problem, I will use nail polish.

Second, I eat snacks too often. This is a habit that is not good for my health.

To solve this problem, I will put snacks where I cannot see them.

It is difficult, but it is something that sometimes makes me frustrated.

Therefore, I will not give up changing my bad habits.

👉 오류는 없었지만, 자연스러운 표현으로 조금 다듬었고,
👉 which + 명사 → that 구조로 바꾸어 주격·목적격 관계대명사 중심으로 고쳤습니다.

# data[].attributes.body
원본 : I have two bad habits that l want to change First l the habit of biting your nails when you are anxious or nervous To solve this problem l should Apply a very bitter product in the from of nail porch to your nails Second l bad habit is the habit of looking at my phone as soon as l wake up To solve this problem l will put my phone which far from me l will try my best to change these habits step by step.

수정본: I have two bad habits that I want to change. First, I have the habit of biting my nails when I am anxious or nervous. To solve this problem, I should apply a very bitter product to my nails. Second, my bad habit is looking at my phone as soon as I wake up. To solve this problem, I will put my phone in a place which is far from me. I will try my best to change these habits step by step.

문제점. 1. l → I (스펠링 오류)

2.First l the habit → First, I have the habit (동사 누락)

3.your nails → my nails (자신의 습관을 말할 때)

4.in the from of nail porch → in the form of nail polish (철자 및 표현 오류)

5.l bad habit → my bad habit (소유 표현 수정)

6.which far from me → far from me (관계대명사 제거, 자연스러운 영어)

7.문장 사이에 마침표(.) 추가로 문장

# data[].attributes.body
원본

I have two bad habits that i want to change

First i have sleeping late so i'm tired

To solve this problem i should avoid looking at cell phone 30 mintes before going to bed

Second i use my phone too much

To solve this problem i will do something instead of using your cell phone

I feel tired and regretful

I will try to change

수정된 문장:

I have two bad habits that I want to change

First,l go to bed late, so I feel tired

To solve this problem, I should avoid looking at my cell phone 30 minutes

before going to bed

Second, I use my phone too much. This is a problem that I must fix.

To solve this problem, I will read a book or study instead of using my cell phone.

Because of these habits, I feel tired and regretful

I try to change my bad habits

---

📌 주요 수정 포인트:

i have sleeping late → I go to bed late (자연스러운 표현으로 수정)

30 mintes → 30 minutes (철자 수정)

using your cell phone → using my cell phone (주어 일치)

문장을 끊어서 읽기 좋게 정리

# data[].attributes.body
원본:

I have two bad habits that l want to change.

First,I'm on my smartphone while eating.To solve this problem,I should no smartphone while eating.

Second,I spend too long using my smart phone.To solve this problem,I will need to spend less time on my smartphone.

I fell harmful and not good.

I will make a plan for smartphone usage time.

수정본:

I have two bad habits that I want to change.

First, I use my smartphone while eating. To solve this problem, I should not use my smartphone while eating.

Second, I spend too much time on my smartphone. To solve this problem, I will need to spend less time on it.

I feel these are harmful and not good for me.

I will make a plan and change the bad habits which are harmful to me.

수정이유 설명

l → I

소문자 L(l)이 아니라 대문자 I(I)를 써야 맞습니다.

I'm on my smartphone while eating. → I use my smartphone while eating.

be on도 쓸 수 있지만, 여기서는 use가 더 자연스럽습니다.

I'm on my smartphone은 다소 구어체이고, I use my smartphone이 글쓰기에는 적절해요.

I should no smartphone while eating. → I should not use my smartphone while eating.

영어에서는 동사가 필요합니다. no smartphone만 쓰면 문장이 불완전해요.

따라서 not use로 고쳐야 맞습니다.

I spend too long using my smart phone. → I spend too much time on my smartphone.

too long은 보통 **동작의 길이(시간이 너무 오래 걸린다)**를 말할 때 씁니다.

여기서는 "스마트폰에 너무 많은 시간을 쓴다"이므로 too much time이 적절합니다.

smartphone은 한 단어로 씁니다. (smart phone ❌ → smartphone ✅)

I fell harmful and not good. → I feel that it is harmful and not good for me.

fell은 떨어졌다의 의미이고, feel을 써야 감정 표현이 됩니다.

또 "유해하고 좋지 않다"라고 할 때는 I feel (that) it is harmful 구조로 써야 자연스럽습니다.

I will make a plan for smartphone usage time. → I will make a plan for my smartphone usage time.

usage time 앞에 **소유격(my)**가 들어가야 문장이 더 자연스럽습니다.

# data[].attributes.body
원본
FIRST, can't see the messages because I turned off all the alarms
To solve this problem I should turn on the alarm
Second, looking at your phone while riding a bike
To solve this problem I will put your phone in your pocket
I feel scared and nervous
I will use my phone wisely and keep the notifications off
수정본
First, I can’t see the messages because I turned off all the alarms that notify me. To solve this problem, I should turn on the alarms that I turned off so I can see the messages. Second, I think looking at my phone while riding a bike is dangerous. To solve this, I will put my phone in my pocket, which keeps it safe and secure. I feel scared and nervous sometimes. I should use my phone properly.

# data[].attributes.body
[원본]

I have two bad habits that I want to change.

First, I spend too much time watching short videos that are like reels.

To solve this problem set a time limit with a timer or a time-limit app.

Second, I look at my smartphone too closely which is bad for my eyes.

To solve this problem, I will try to keep at least 30~40cm between my eyes and my smartphone.

I feel regretful and sad.

I will try two solutions In my life and I will make my self better than i am now.

[수정본]

I have two bad habits that I want to change.

First, I spend too much time watching short videos that are like reels.

To solve this problem, I should set a time limit with a timer or a time-limit app.

Second, I look at my smartphone too closely, which is bad for my eyes.

To solve this problem, I will try to keep at least 30-40cm between my eyes and my smartphone.

I feel regretful and sad about my bad habits.

I will act on two solutions in my life, and I will make myself better than I am now.

[고친 부분]

📝 원문 검토

I have two bad habits that I want to change.

✅ 어법 맞음.

that I want to change → 관계대명사 that 사용 (habits를 수식).

First, I spend too much time watching short videos that are like reels.

✅ 문법 맞음.

that are like reels → 관계대명사 that 사용 (short videos를 수식).

To solve this problem set a time limit with a timer or a time-limit app.

❌ 주어가 빠짐. → To solve this problem, I should set a time limit with a timer or a time-limit app.

Second, I look at my smartphone too closely which is bad for my eyes.

❌ closely 뒤에 콤마(,) 필요.

→ Second, I look at my smartphone too closely, which is bad for my eyes.

여기서 which는 앞 문장 전체(too closely 보는 것)를 수식하는 관계대명사.

To solve this problem, I will try to keep at least 30~40cm between my eyes and my smartphone.

✅ 문법 맞음. 자연스러움.

I feel regretful and sad.

✅ 맞음. (다만 영어에서는 보통 “regretful”보다 “I regret it” 또는 “I feel sad about it”을 더 자주 씀.)

I will try two solutions In my life and I will make my self better than i am now.

❌ 수정 필요:

In → 소문자 in

my self → 한 단어 myself

i → 대문자 I

더 자연스럽게: I will try two solutions in my life, and I will make myself better than I am now.

✅ 정리

관계대명사 들어간 문장:

I have two bad habits that I want to change.

I spend too much time watching short videos that are like reels.

I look at my smartphone too closely, which is bad for my eyes.

👉 총 3개 문장에서 관계대명사 사용 ✔

❌ 수정해야 할 부분:

(3) “To solve this problem set …” → 주어 넣기

(4) “closely which …” → 콤마 추가

(7) 철자·대문자 수정

# data[].attributes.body
i have two bad habits that i want to change.

First, I use my phone late at night, which makes me not sleep enough.

To slove this problem, I should stop using my phone after 10 p.m.

Second,I use my phone too much when I eat.

To solve this problem, I will not look at my phone while eating.

I feel worried about my bad habits.

Therefore I will not use my phone late at night and not look at it while eating

수정본

i have two bad habits that i want to change.

First, I use my phone late at night, which makes me sleep less.

To solve this problem, I should stop using my phone after 10 p.m.

Second, I use my phone too much while eating.

To solve this problem, I will not look at my phone while eating.

I feel worried about my bad habits.

Therefore, I will not use my phone late at night and will not look at it while eating.

🔑 수정 포인트

slove → solve (철자 오류)

makes me not sleep enough → makes me sleep less (더 자연스럽게 표현)

Second,I → Second, I (띄어쓰기)

when I eat → while eating (더 자연스러운 표현)

마지막 문장 and not look at it → and will not look at it (평행 구조 유지)

# data[].attributes.body
원문-

I have two bad habits that I want to change.

First, I put off the homework that I have to do

To solve this problem I will set a small goal and stick to it.

Second, I can't get up early in the morning.

To solve this problem, I will set a good alarm and go to bed early.

I feel so guilty for two bed habits.

Therefore, I will work hard on solutions to live a wiser life in the future.

수정사항-

I feel so guilty for two bed habits. - I feel guilty about these two bad habits.

I will work hard on solutions to live a wiser life in the future. - I will work hard on these solutions to live a wiser life in the future

수정본-

I have two bad habits that I want to change.

First, I put off the homework that I have to do.

To solve this problem, I should set a small goal and stick with it.

Second, I can’t get up early in the morning.

To solve this problem, I will set a reliable alarm and go to bed early.

I feel guilty about these two bad habits.

Therefore, I will work hard on these solutions to live a wiser life in the future.

# data[].attributes.body
내가 쓴 글:

> I have two bad habits that I want to change.

First, I use my smartphone until late at night.

To solve this problem, I should turn off my smartphone at 10o'clock from now on.

Second, I can't concentrate when I study.

To solve this problem, I will pinch my cheek when I can't concentrate.

I feel so ashamed for two bad habits.

Therefore, I will put solutions into actions for a good life.

---

수정 후 버전

I have two bad habits that I want to change.

First, I use my smartphone until late at night.

To solve this problem, I should turn off my smartphone at 10 o'clock from now on.

Second, I can't concentrate on the subjects that I study.

To fix this problem, I will pinch my cheek when I can't concentrate.

I feel so ashamed of my two bad habits.

Therefore, I will put the solutions that I made into action for a good life.

---

👉 이렇게 하면 글 속에 주격 관계대명사 (that keeps …), **목적격 관계대명사 (that I study / that I made)**가 고르게 들어가게 돼요.

원해요? 제가 이걸 더 자연스럽게 에세이처럼 다듬은 버전도 만들어줄까요?

---

2. 관계대명사 사용 여부

현재 글에서 관계대명사는 딱 한 번 쓰였어요:

"two bad habits that I want to change."

그 이후 문장에는 관계대명사가 쓰이지 않았습니다.

👉 정리:

틀린 부분: 10o'clock → 10 o'clock, ashamed for → ashamed of, **actions → action

# data[].attributes.body
원본

First, I can’t control my time when I use my phone, which makes me waste a lot of time.

To solve this problem, I should set a timer when I use my phone.

Second, I look at my phone while I walk.

To solve this problem, I will keep my phone in my bag while walking.

I feel sad because they are not good for me.

Therefore, I will control my phone time and not look at it while walking.

고친점

1)First, I can’t control my time when I use my phone, which makes me waste a lot of time. -> First, the thing that I do is use my phone late at night.

2) phone -> smartphone

고친 글

First, the bad thing that I do is use my smartphone late at night.

To solve this problem, I should set a timer when I use my smartphone.

Second, I look at my smartphone while I walk.

To solve this problem, I will keep my smartphone in my bag while walking.

I feel sad because they are not good for me.

Therefore, I will control my smartphone time and not look at it while walking.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
White Collage Personal Scrapbook All About Me Poster_20250929_123331_0000

# data[].attributes.headline
[원문]-GPT검토: 스펠, 어법, 관계대명사-[수정본, 관대 형관펜]-[수정사항 설명] // 캔바활용 글쓰기 - 파일 업로드하기

# data[].attributes.subject
[원문]-GPT검토: 스펠, 어법, 관계대명사-[수정본, 관대 형관펜]-[수정사항 설명] // 캔바활용 글쓰기 - 파일 업로드하기

# data[].attributes.body
GPT 활용사항

1. 글에서 철자오류, 어법 오류가 있다면 수정해주고 왜 그런지 이유를 설명해주세요.

2. 글에 주격 혹은 목적격 관계대명사(한정적 용법)가 있는지 확인해주고, 어법적으로 올바르게 사용했는지 알려주세요. 수정이 필요하다면 바르게 고쳐주세요.

3. 내가 쓴 글 중에 주격, 목적격 관계대명사가 없다면 적절한 위치에 넣어서 문장을 구성해주세요.

# data[].attributes.headline
[원문]-GPT검토: 스펠, 어법, 관계대명사-[수정본, 관대 형관펜]-[수정사항 설명] // 캔바활용 글쓰기 - 파일 업로드하기

# data[].attributes.subject
[원문]-GPT검토: 스펠, 어법, 관계대명사-[수정본, 관대 형관펜]-[수정사항 설명] // 캔바활용 글쓰기 - 파일 업로드하기

# data[].attributes.body
GPT 활용사항

1. 글에서 철자오류, 어법 오류가 있다면 수정해주고 왜 그런지 이유를 설명해주세요.

2. 글에 주격 혹은 목적격 관계대명사(한정적 용법)가 있는지 확인해주고, 어법적으로 올바르게 사용했는지 알려주세요. 수정이 필요하다면 바르게 고쳐주세요.

3. 내가 쓴 글 중에 주격, 목적격 관계대명사가 없다면 적절한 위치에 넣어서 문장을 구성해주세요.

# data[].attributes.headline
[원문]-GPT검토: 스펠, 어법, 관계대명사-[수정본, 관대 형관펜]-[수정사항 설명] // 캔바활용 글쓰기 - 파일 업로드하기

# data[].attributes.subject
[원문]-GPT검토: 스펠, 어법, 관계대명사-[수정본, 관대 형관펜]-[수정사항 설명] // 캔바활용 글쓰기 - 파일 업로드하기

# data[].attributes.body
GPT 활용사항

1. 글에서 철자오류, 어법 오류가 있다면 수정해주고 왜 그런지 이유를 설명해주세요.

2. 글에 주격 혹은 목적격 관계대명사(한정적 용법)가 있는지 확인해주고, 어법적으로 올바르게 사용했는지 알려주세요. 수정이 필요하다면 바르게 고쳐주세요.

3. 내가 쓴 글 중에 주격, 목적격 관계대명사가 없다면 적절한 위치에 넣어서 문장을 구성해주세요.

# data[].attributes.body
원본

I have two bad habits that I want to change.

First, I use my smartphone too much. To solve this problem, I will find another activities that I can do or play.

Second, I eat too much even I'm full. To solve this problem, I will eat as much as I want, in moderation, until I'm full.

I feel so remorseful for two bad habits. Therefore, I will find more solutions that can solve the problems.

수정본

I have two bad habits that I want to change.

First, I use my smartphone too much. To solve this problem, I will find other activities that I can do or play instead.

Second, I eat too much even when I am already full. To solve this problem, I will eat in moderation and stop eating once I feel full.

I feel remorseful about these two bad habits.

Therefore, I will try to find more solutions to overcome them.

"find another activities." Another은 단수 명사와만 함께 써야함. Activities는 복수 이기에 other이 맞음.

"even I'm full." 문장 구조와 시제가 어색함. "even when I'm full." 이 더 자연스러움.

"two bad habits" -> "these two bad habits"가 더 자연스러움.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
I have two bad habits that I want to change. First, I use my smartphone too_20250925_114522_0000

# data[].attributes.body
원본

What is your 1st bad habit?

A: First, I put off my work.

What is your solution for the 1st bad habit?

A: To solve this problem, I should make a plan and do it right away.

What is your 2nd bad habit?

A: Second, I cannot keep the time.

What is your solution for the 2nd bad habit?

A: To solve this problem, I will use an app that limits my smartphone use.

How do you feel about your two bad habits?

A: I feel terrible. (→ ‘끔찍한’)

What is your resolution for the bad habits?

A: I will not delay my work because of my smartphone.

문제점

1. What is your 1st bad habit?

A: First, I put off my work.

✅ 맞음.

“put off”는 ‘미루다’라는 뜻으로 잘 썼어. 문법적 오류 없음.

2. What is your solution for the 1st bad habit?

A: To solve this problem, I should make a plan and do it right away.

✅ 맞음.

“do it right away” 표현이 자연스럽고 좋음.

더 자연스럽게 하고 싶다면 → “…follow it right away.” (계획을 바로 따르다)라고 해도 괜찮아.

3. What is your 2nd bad habit?

A: Second, I cannot keep the time.

⚠️ 살짝 어색함.

영어에서 *“keep the time”*은 거의 쓰이지 않음. 보통 *“keep time”*은 음악 템포 맞출 때 쓰는 말이야.

👉 더 정확한 표현:

“I cannot keep the schedule.” (일정을 못 지킨다)

“I cannot manage my time well.” (시간 관리 잘 못한다)

“I cannot keep the promised time.” (약속된 시간을 못 지킨다)

4. What is your solution for the 2nd bad habit?

A: To solve this problem, I will use an app that limits my smartphone use.

✅ 맞음.

문법·표현 모두 적절하고 명확해. 👍

5. How do you feel about your two bad habits?

A: I feel terrible.

✅ 맞음.

“terrible”은 ‘끔찍한’의 좋은 번역이야.

혹시 더 강조하고 싶다면 → “I feel really terrible about them.”

6. What is your resolution for the bad habits?

A: I will not delay my work because of my smartphone.

✅ 맞음.

문법적으로 정확하고, 다짐의 의지도 잘 드러남.

다른 선택지: “I will try to change my bad habits.” (더 넓은 의미)

총평

틀린 문장은 없음, 다만 3번 “keep the time”만 조금 부자연스러움 → “keep the schedule” 또는 **“manage my time well”**로 바꾸면 훨씬 좋아져.

나머지는 문법, 의미 모두 수행평가에 쓰기 적합하고 자연스러움.

수정본

First, I have a habit which makes me put off my work.

To solve this problem, I should make a plan which I can follow right away.

Second, I have a habit that shows I cannot manage my time well.

To solve this problem, I will use an app that limits my smartphone use.

I feel terrible about them.

I will not delay my work because of my smartphone