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Your child is born with their temperament, and sometimes it can be hard to relate to them. This resource includes questions that you answer for both yourself and your child to see where you "click" and where you may clash based on your individual temperaments. It also gives suggestions as to what may help during those challenging times!

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While this is written for parents of children with ADHD, the strategies can help EVERYONE.

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Access denied | www.additudemag.com used Cloudflare to restrict access | www.additudemag.com | Cloudflare

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The food bank for Humboldt County

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The Eureka Choice Pantry will be closed on Friday, October 13th for a full staff training.

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Changing Tides now has the Family Empowerment Center for Disabilities, a resource center for parents who are navigating the IEP world and beyond.

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WHAT WE DO COMMUNITY IMPACT We build programs that educate our allies, connect parents in safe and supportive environments and join with others so our community can flourish. *Most recent [...]

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We talk a lot about having reasonable, developmentally appropriate expectations for our children. This guide gives some examples of what to expect in your child's social-emotional development up to age 5.

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Physical and Cognitive/Learning Milestones from 0-5

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Physical and Cognitive/Learning Milestones from 0-5

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Important Child Development Stages - First 5 Years | Children’s Bureau

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As parents, we make it our goal to improve the lives of our children. Find out why the first 5 years of child development are so important.

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Excellent resources on development for ages 0-3, including how to handle aggression in toddlerhood and tantrums.

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Our resources support families in developing their own ways to promote their children's growth and development.

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"Neurons that fire together wire together." 

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"Neurons that fire together wire together." 

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A cool video to show how neurons grow and create networks. This is what is happening with new experiences!

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The exciting first race of a new cross-country league took place Friday, September 8 at College of the Redwoods. Continue Reading Inaugural Coast League Cross Country Race Held at College of the Redwoods

This morning, a school safety incident occurred at the Eel River Community School campus. Continue Reading School Staff and Fortuna PD Work Swiftly for Student Safety

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The mission of the Humboldt County Office of Education is to advocate on behalf of the needs of local districts and students, provide expanded learning opportunities for students, promote improved student achievement, and support fiscal responsibility in local school districts.

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Paso a Paso offers preventative information and support to the Latino community. The bilingual staff provides childbirth education, breast feeding support, parenting classes, home visits, resource referrals and support groups to communities served by St. Joseph and Redwood Memorial Hospitals. Spanish speaking women and their families are supported in an atmosphere built on kindness and respect, allowing them to discover and build their independence and recognize their own strengths. Program services are provided in a safe environment where feelings, concerns and beliefs can be confidentially shared.

All of Paso a Paso's services are free.

Classes, support groups and events

We offer a wide variety of classes, support groups and community events to individuals and families in Eureka and Fortuna.

Referrals and resources

We connect families with available community services with referrals to many programs, including CalFresh, First 5 Play-groups, and Healthy Kids Humboldt. Assistance is offered to qualifying families for such items as nutritional foods and - when available - car seats.

Contact us for more information

Perinatal support

Community outreach and engagement

Healthy kids and families

Social work

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Paso a Paso offers preventative information and support to the Latino community. The bilingual staff provides childbirth education, breast feeding support, parenting classes, home visits, resource referrals and support groups to communities served by St. Joseph and Redwood Memorial Hospitals.

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Redwood Community Action Agency | Empowering People, Changing Lives Since 1980

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Summary of concepts/strategies

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Free mental health support for California caregivers and children.

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Contact

If you, your child, or someone you know is in crisis:

Call 911, go to the nearest emergency room, or reach out to the following national resources. You're never alone.

Call 988 or 1-800-273-TALK (8255) to reach a 24-hour crisis line.

Text 741741 to reach the Crisis Text Line.
Additional resources here
All clinical services are provided by licensed physicians and clinicians practicing within independently owned and operated professional practices. For patients in California, this is known as "Brightline Medical Associates of California, Inc." For patients in New Jersey, this is known as "Brightline Medical Associates of NJ, PA." For patients in Kansas, this is known as "Brightline Medical Associates of KS, PA." For patients in all other states, this is known as "Brightline Medical Associates, PA". Brightline, Inc. does not itself provide any physician, behavioral health professional, or other healthcare provider services.

© Brightline. All Rights Reserved. 2024

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BrightLife Kids for Families - A CalHope Program by Brightline

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Brightline brings support to kids and families for everyday challenges and behavioral health conditions.

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Opinion | A great way to understand how kids’ brains work

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Upstairs, downstairs: Is your child having a hard time thinking? They’re stuck in the ‘downstairs’ brain. An infographic explains the concept.

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This is a great article that explains co-regulation in depth, and offers strategies for you to use with your children.

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Emotions can be volatile. They can prompt us to do or say things that are harmful, hurtful, or just plain regrettable - so we do our best to manage, or regulate, them. Self-regulation looks like taking a deep breath and saying, "Please put your Legos away after you finish playing, so I don't step on one" instead of scooping up every Lego in your house and chucking them out the window.

As adults, we practice self-regulation all the time in interactions with our co-workers, friends, and partners. It's not always easy, but we know that it's more effective and productive to talk about what's upsetting us rather than to just react.

But self-regulation is not innate; it's a set of skills everyone must learn. Developmentally, kids are like cars with faulty brakes, born with the capacity to experience every shade of emotion but none of the tools to regulate them.

Co-regulation is a mutual act, an exchange of calm that occurs between two people. But when it comes to adults (who have acquired the cognitive tools to manage their emotions) and children, co-regulation also means helping a child learn how to regulate their own emotions by showing empathy and modeling calmness. Co-regulation does not mean pretending to exist in a state of calm all the time or never getting angry. It means actively managing your own emotions to help kids learn to manage theirs.

Co-regulation is both something you actively do as well as a biological process - it happens in your body. Research shows that we can directly influence certain processes in one another, such as the production of a stress hormone called cortisol. The distress of others - say, a wailing child - can cause us to feel similar distress. And when we remain calm, we can influence the production of hormones in others to help them calm down too.

Co-regulation has recently become a buzzword in parenting circles, but LaKisha Hoffman, MSW, first encountered the concept as an assistant school principal in Richmond, California. "Students would come to me and be like, 'Oh, my teacher did this.' Then the teacher would also come to me and be like, 'Oh, the student did this and this,'" she recalls.

Teachers seemed to find that kids' behaviors set off their own emotions in ways that were difficult to control. "Some teachers were triggered by students getting up and walking around," Hoffman says. "Some were triggered by students who were talking out of turn. Some were triggered by students who were challenging them."

Hoffman, who is now the senior director of School and Community Programs at the Child Mind Institute, could empathize with teachers' frustrations. But she also recognized that, as adults, teachers had a greater responsibility to be aware of their own triggers so they could support and engage with students even when they acted out.

For adults - parents, caretakers, or teachers - co-regulation begins with self-regulation. Everyone is shaped by their own personal experiences. "We're all human," Hoffman says. "Different things set us off as adults. How do we recognize those things? How do we cope, soothe ourselves in those moments? That's the first step."

Hoffman, a former college basketball player, coaches several youth teams. She recognizes that one of her triggers is when a child bounces a ball while she's talking. It's a small thing, but Hoffman knows from experience that it bothers her. "But I can't just be like, 'STOP bouncing the basketball,'" she says. "I can't interact with them like that. I have to be calm in that moment and say, 'Hey, what's happening now? Are you supposed to be bouncing the ball?' I have to build a culture for them to understand why they shouldn't do that."

Humans have evolved stress responses to help us respond to danger, but those responses can be triggered by stress even when it isn't life-threatening. Perhaps you've heard the term fight-or-flight? Other stress responses include freeze and the lesser-known fawn (appeasing someone to avoid conflict). Say your child throws a tantrum in the grocery store because you took their iPad away. So, you give it back to avoid a scene. This is a fawn response. Fawn responses are also common among people who have experienced trauma, such as abuse.

Is your instinct to yell when your child upsets you (fight)? Instead, do you tend to walk away (flight) or are their reactions sometimes so overwhelming that you get mentally "stuck" and shut down (freeze)? Stress responses can become ingrained. But when you can recognize why you react to something that upsets you a certain way, you can find better ways to cope.

The phrase "take a deep breath" is a cliché for fighting stress. But decades of research show that deep breathing has profound effects on the regions of the brain that govern emotion and cognition. We tend to breathe too fast (hyperventilate) when we panic, so techniques to slow breathing can help us calm down. Even a few deep breaths can kick-start the process. Some specific techniques include belly breathing, box breathing, and butterfly breathing - a particularly good exercise to do with kids.

Of course, you can always just gulp in more air, but the purpose of deep breathing is really self-awareness. When we step outside of ourselves and acknowledge that yes, we are in fact quite angry, we are taking the first step toward controlling the anger - or whatever emotion we're feeling.

When adults can identify their own triggers and stress responses, they are better equipped to recognize them in kids.

Emotional dysregulation can look different depending on the person and situation. For a lot of kids, particularly young kids, dysregulation might look like screaming, stomping feet, or pounding fists on the floor. But consider fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. Dysregulation can also look like withdrawing, overcompliance with adults, or an inability to say "no."

And dysregulation can escalate. "If I get worked up and kids are looking at me, then they all get worked up," says Hoffman. "Then we've just got a whole bunch of worked up people. How do we problem solve in that moment?"

The goal of co-regulation is to reverse course, to de-escalate intensifying stress.

Not all co-regulation is conscious. Our bodies and brains can respond to others without us even realizing it. That said, there are actions we can take to cue the process. Much like the way deep breathing sends a message to your brain to calm down, there are things you can do to send a similar message to another person's body.

Whether you're a teacher or a caregiver, it's important to teach kids strategies for calming down, like deep breathing exercises, before you need to reach for them in a crisis. When our emotions are out of whack, we can't easily focus on or process new information because our brains are too busy dealing with the stress.

Let's say a child is having a meltdown. They're collapsed in a puddle on the floor, hiccup-sobbing and struggling to catch their breath. The first thing you need to do is take stock of your own physical reaction - Is your heart beating faster? Do you feel your face getting hot? - and take a few deep breaths. Relax your body, then:

Get on their level. When a child feels overwhelmed, it's tough to help them calm down when you're towering over them. If you can, get close to eye level and look them in the eyes. Research shows that eye contact fosters trust and connectedness. Eye contact can help kids feel safe. But it's also important to note that some kids with autism can be hypersensitive to direct eye contact. so it's best to take your cues from the individual child.

Name their emotion. For example: "It looks like you're really upset, right now." Labeling a child's emotion lets kids know explicitly that you can see what they might be feeling. You're validating the emotion here, not the behavior - it's okay to feel bad. Labeling also teaches them to notice and name their own emotions, which for very young kids is not intuitive.

Change your tone. Be sure to keep your tone calm, and don't raise your voice. Trying your best to sound relaxed can be a powerful disruptor when a child is upset because we tend to imitate the behaviors we see in others. This "mirroring" happens subconsciously, as a product of mirror neurons in the brain. And there is growing evidence that suggests mirror neurons play an important role in how we learn and express empathy.

Give them a hug or a squeeze. When children are extremely dysregulated, they might be sensitive or even averse to touch. But if a child is consenting to touch, it is a potent tool in the co-regulation toolkit. Touching another person can boost their oxytocin levels. Oxytocin, sometimes called the "love hormone," makes us feel good. It also perpetuates its own release, meaning that a hug or a hand squeeze can have a positive effect that outlasts the action itself.

Guide them in a calming exercise. If there is a calming or breathing exercise that the child is familiar with - maybe you learned it together, maybe they learned it in school - suggest you do it together. Don't be deterred if they say no. Say you'd like to do the exercise because it helps you calm down (it's helpful, especially with very young kids, to reinforce what these exercises are actually for) and start doing it yourself. They may just watch you; they may join in. In the end, either outcome is valuable.

We are imperfect beings. We won't always offer the best or most mindful response when we're upset but making the effort to be aware of our own emotions and behaviors sets a powerful example for kids. Whatever your specific process, the most important takeaway of co-regulation is that kids absorb what they see you do - and it may be easier for them to calm down if you show them how to do it. As Hoffman says, "The best way to teach is to model."

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What Is Co-Regulation? - Child Mind Institute

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Co-regulation can help kids learn to manage their emotions but also requires managing your own.

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This article has more specific strategies for co-regulating with your child so that they learn how to self-regulate in time. According to this article, children need support with regulation strategies until they are 7, and for some kids even beyond. I recommend poking around on this website for lots of good information on other topics, as well.

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Co-regulation leads to self-regulation. This great article includes the definition of coregulation, strategies, and links to other resources.

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How Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) Affect Brain Development

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How Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) Affect Brain Development

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How Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) Affect Brain Development - New Jersey Pediatric Neuroscience Institute

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Learn about common pediatric neurological conditions, their key symptoms, and treatment approaches for better understanding and early intervention.

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Humboldt Domestic Violence Services (HDVS) is an independent, non-profit agency dedicated to promoting the rights and welfare of those who have survived or are enduring domestic and intimate partner violence or sex trafficking throughout Humboldt County. We provide many services to survivors, all completely free of charge. The mission of HDVS is to break the cycle of domestic violence, intimate partner violence, and sex trafficking through services, education, and advocacy. Our vision is the elimination of domestic and intimate partner violence.

If you are in need of support, you can reach our trained domestic violence advocates on our 24/7 support line by calling (707) 443-6042. Toll free: (866) 668-6543.
Talk to an advocate

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Humboldt Domestic Violence Services (HDVS) is an independent, non-profit agency dedicated to promoting the rights and welfare of those who have survived or are enduring domestic and intimate partner violence or sex trafficking throughout Humboldt County. We provide many services to survivors, all completely free of charge.

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The North Coast Rape Crisis Team is proud to serve Humboldt and Del Norte Counties. In addition to the direct support we offer survivors, such as our 24 hour crisis lines, peer counseling services, accompaniment, and advocacy, we are also able to provide educational services to our community. As a non-profit, we rely on donations from community members in order to best support and expand our programs. When you donate to the North Coast Rape Crisis Team, you are supporting our mission!

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Two Feathers NAFS is a national leader in Native mental health advancement through a blend of innovative approaches that center community building and cultural affirmation to address long standing mental health challenges in Two Feathers' geographically isolated and economically challenged region.

At Two Feathers, we envision a world filled with love and in balance within ourselves and with all of creation for generations to come. We believe this can be made possible if Native American youth and their families are empowered to achieve their full potential through culturally-affirming mental health programs.

With a team of over 30 professionals, Two Feathers provides counseling, cultural programs, leadership development, and community events and activities to improve the wellbeing and self-determination of Native American youth in Humboldt County.

We invite you to take part in our anonymous Client Satisfaction Survey.

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Two Feathers Family Services - Two Feathers

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Two Feathers Native American Family ServicesTwo Feathers NAFS is a national leader in Native mental health advancement through a blend of innovative approaches that center community building and cultural affirmation to address long standing mental health challenges in Two Feathers' geographically isolated and economically challenged region.

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Positive Childhood Experiences (PCEs) act as a buffer against ACEs. Learn more about them and other "protective factors" here.

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Positive Childhood Experiences (PCEs) stem from safe, stable, nurturing relationships and environments, and have the power to prevent or protect children from traumatic events, toxic stress, or Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs).
These positive experiences can happen both in and outside the home. Parents, caregivers, relatives, teachers, community members, and neighbors can create environments, experiences, and relationships that allow children to feel protected and cared for.

In recent years, the concepts of PCEs, as well as ACEs, have garnered significant public attention as more childhood development advocates began talking about the growing body of research linking childhood trauma to negative long-term health effects and positive childhood experiences.

There is a growing body of research that states PCEs can be statistically linked to good emotional and mental health in adults.
Increasing positive childhood experiences builds resilience in kids who have experienced trauma, and those who may in the future. The relationship between PCEs in childhood and good mental health in adults is dose-responsive, meaning the more positive experiences that individuals had, the more likely they were to report few or no issues of adult mental health challenges.

Individuals with 3-5 positive childhood experiences had 50% lower odds of adulthood depression or poor mental health than those with 0-2, and individuals with 6-7 reported PCEs, the highest number of reported positive childhood experiences, had even lower odds of adulthood depression or poor mental health - 72% lower - when compared to those with the least number of reported PCEs.

Predictable, Nurturing, Environments

Kids, especially those who are younger, thrive on predictability and the sense of security it provides. This can take on many forms - whether it's part of their home environment, daily schedules, or the behavior of adults taking care of them. No parent will ever be perfect, but the more adults behave in predictable, nurturing ways that put a child's needs first, the safer that child will feel.
Remaining calm through chaotic moments can be one of the best skills a parent or caregiver can work on. This means minimizing shame, yelling, and anger while listening, then helping children label their big emotions instead of trying to stop or ignore them. Just like an adult wouldn't yell at a friend for being sad, parents should teach their children that it's normal to be sad, angry, embarrassed, or any other emotion that's difficult to process. This helps build crucial social-emotional skills that will shape how children experience their lives for years to come.

Such protective factors include a child doing well in school, a parent having steady employment, living in a community with access to quality services, and several others. Learn more about the types of protective factors individuals and communities can strive to create here.

American Society for the Positive Care of Children is dedicated to preventing child maltreatment and raising awareness of the lifelong impacts of adverse childhood experiences by providing parents with the skills, tools, and educational resources that build their confidence and capacity as caregivers and create more positive childhood experiences. We're able to continue providing resources like these free of charge to nearly 1,000,000 families who rely on us annually thanks to the generosity of our supporters.

Take action to reduce Adverse Childhood Experiences for the Next Generation Today.

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Positive Childhood Experiences (PCEs) - American SPCC

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Learn about Positive Childhood Experiences (PCEs), which stem from safe, stable, nurturing relationships and environments, and how they reduce the impact of ACEs.

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"Join co-hosts Dr. Rebecca and her twin-bear-besties Grizzle and Grizzlette as they make answering the beary-big questions kids have a whole-lotta fun. Ideal for children ages 4+, plus the adults who love them."

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Common Sense Media: Age-Based Media Reviews for Families

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Common Sense Media is the leading source of entertainment and technology recommendations for families. Parents trust our expert reviews and objective advice.

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https://vimeo.com/888015648?share=copy Welcome to the Child Psych Podcast Raising children is one of the most rewarding experiences, but it comes with its

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“What if I was to tell you that a game of peek-a-boo could change the world?” asks seven-year-old Molly Wright, one of the youngest-ever TED speakers. Breaking down the research-backed ways parents and caregivers can support children’s healthy brain development, Wright highlights the benefits of play on lifelong learning, behavior and well-being, sharing effective strategies to help all kids thrive by the age of five. She’s joined onstage by one-year-old Ari and his dad, Amarjot, who help illustrate her big ideas about brain science. (This TED Talk was produced in collaboration with Minderoo Foundation as an educational tool for parents and caregivers around the world and is supported by UNICEF.)

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Children's Books on Emotional Regulation

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Children's Books on Emotional Regulation

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All the Feels: 14 Books To Help Kids With Their Emotions | Brightly

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Learning to deal with emotions is an important part of growing up for kids. Here are some great books for helping kids manage their feelings.

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North Coast Association of Mental Health Professionals 

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North Coast Association of Mental Health Professionals 

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Find local therapists and their contact info so you can inquire about their availability.

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NORTH COAST ASSOCIATION OF MENTAL HEALTH PROFESSIONALS Directory of Mental Health Providers Are You a Mental Health Professional looking to join NCAMHP? NCAMHP has a proven track record of connecting mental health professionals with patients and colleagues. Learn more about our current membership levels and benefits.

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Mindsight What’s Mindsight? “Mindsight” is a term coined by Dr. Dan Siegel to describe our human capacity to perceive the mind of the self and others. It is a powerful lens through which we can understand our inner lives with more clarity, integrate the brain, and enhance our relationships with othe…

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Humboldt Network of Family Resource Centers 

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Humboldt Network of Family Resource Centers 

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Our Mission: Through collaboration, mutual support and respect, our family strengthening network improves child, family and community health and well-being.

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Regulation Strategies for Young Children

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Regulation Strategies for Young Children

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12 regulation strategies for young children

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When to Teach Emotional Regulation Skills

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When to Teach Emotional Regulation Skills

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Unit 2- When to Teach Emotional Regulation Skills

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See my recent collaboration with The Museum of Modern Art

I’m Lindsay.

I’m an artist, therapist, educator, and visual translator working to help make mental health education accessible to everyone.

As I doodled my way through a Master’s Degree in Counseling Psychology, I discovered that the way I visualize information is a little different. With practice and encouragement, I found my niche as a mental health illustrator. Learn more about me and my work with other creatives.

Let’s Create Something Together.

My work is made possible through Patreon- a resource for crowdfunding artists and creators. Through a $5/mo membership, you’ll get access to my entire portfolio, support sustainable creation of more resources, and fund my ability to provide free resources to those most in need.

Products Available on Amazon Prime:

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Resources that help you connect.

View my privacy policy to see how I protect and never sell your information.

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We’re all visual thinkers.

From our earliest moments, we learn about ourselves, others, and the world around us through visual cues. I believe art can help make mental health education more accessible- and that accessible resources are a step towards making connections, demystifying therapy, and helping us all care a little better for ourselves and others.

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Mental Health Illustrator & Psychology Art

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See my recent collaboration with The Museum of Modern Art I’m Lindsay. I’m an artist, therapist, educator, and visual translator working to help make mental health education accessible to everyone. As I doodled my way

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This is something you can print out to do with your kids. It helps build the brain-body connection and build emotional vocabulary.

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Lots of articles and podcasts about positive parenting and suggestions about how to deal with challenging situations.

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Order today!

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When we perceive our infants as capable, intelligent, responsive people ready to participate in life, initiate activity, receive and return our efforts to communicate with them, then we find that they are all of those things. I am not suggesting that we treat infants as small adults. They need a baby's life.

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Remember: modeling apologizing when you "flip your lid" will help them demonstrate that skill later on.

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Teaching Kids How to Apologize and Repair Relationships — Fuzzigram

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Teaching Kids How to Apologize and Repair Relationships

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Find a Pantry in your area where you can take or leave nonperishables.