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Lola was getting ready for the medley relay race with her team. When the race started they were ahead but then Hazel jumped in and they started to fall behind. Lola got really mad because she was hoping to win the relay.

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Hazel had been struggling with a shoulder injury lately but she was the fastest butterfly swimmer on the team so her coach made her swim anyway. During the medley relay her shoulder really started to hurt so she was going slow. She felt awful knowing she had let her team down.

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pink tiger in a competitive swimming pool

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3-Self-Serving Bias (Honest & Direct, Thinking Trap) 

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3-Self-Serving Bias (Honest & Direct, Thinking Trap) 

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After the race, Lola got really mad at Hazel because they lost. Lola was yelling at Hazel saying "I worked really hard to get us ahead and you made us lose!"

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Hazel took that as an attack and yelled straight back at Lola "Well, at least I didn't disqualify the whole relay at state which is the biggest meet of the year!"

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Purple tiger and pink tiger yelling in the locker room

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After that fight and when the meet ended, they stopped talking to each other and went home.

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The next day after they had both calmed down they sat and talked

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Hazel thought it would be a good idea to explain both sides of the story to fully understand what happened and practice the conflict activity they learned in health: "Looking beneath the surface to find the real issue." So Lola started to explain while Hazel listened "Well, I have been stressed all week with school and am trying hard to drop time in my events. And this morning my Mom was getting on me saying 'you're not trying hard enough otherwise you would be winning' So I really wanted to win to make her happy and when we lost I just snapped" "I understand, that can be hard" Hazel said.

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" You know how my shoulder has been hurting?" Hazel asked, "Ya, did it get worse?" Lola replied, "It's getting better but the doctor said I should stop swimming butterfly which sucks because it's my event you know." "That's awful" "Ya, and I told the coach but she didn't care and told me I had to at least swim butterfly in the relays so we could get more points. So during the relay yesterday my shoulder was hurting badly so I couldn't swim well. I really do feel bad that we lost. I'm sorry." "That's okay. You couldn't control it. And we all could've done better it wasn't just you."

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After they explained the way they acted they each apologized and explained how they felt about the argument. Lola went first and said, "I felt sad when you brought up the state relay because I am very embarrassed about it and feel so bad because it was my fault we lost." Then Hazel said, "I'm sorry that I brought up state even though I knew how upset that makes you. It was wrong and unnecessary" "It's okay, I forgive you." "I felt sad when you started yelling at me because I was in pain and tried my hardest" I'm sorry I made you feel that way. I never should have yelled at you. I knew you were in pain and it wasn't your fault. It was stupid and wrong and I am so sorry it won't happen again."