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when we first met, i had no plans of being in any way romantically involved with anyone again.
i approached you simply as a friend looking for a friend. no expectations set, just a casual conversation required.

but in one swift, you turned down my walls.

"habaek"
i playfully called you.

one.
i was thinking you'd either shrug me off or seenzone me. but you replied quite ecstatically. i was amused. by then, i knew we have a connection.
two.
casual messages are exchanged. again, no expectations. simple friendship, one of the people i'd enjoy passing the time with, just that. but i found myself enjoying our little conversation.
three.
i look up to your messages the next day, the next and the next. completely unsure of everything, all i know is want to see a notification from kik—from you.
four.
it was a smut roleplay. for goodness' sake, i realized i have put down my walls a bit too early, too low for someone to reach. so intended to request for a confirmation through a joking manner.. by calling you a playboy.
five.
you, admitting yourself as international playboy, disappointed yet i expected, i put up my walls again. but even when after putting them up, i still look up to the end of the day for your long ass bubbles.
six.
i decided to play along. talking about a few artists i might like, denial as i get, i heart-wrenchingly shipped you with my sister. yet at the same time, being possessive—claiming her as mine 'cause i don't want her to be yours. i. am yours.
seven.
you're ugly and annoying. yet sweet and funnily lame. our vibes harmonizing together is like a beautiful chord strum by a guitar. diss, casual talk, diss again, casually making each other jealous... i liked that about you, i like that about us. from there, i can't deny, i put you up as monkey on my status.
eight.
roleplay closed down. i crossed-fingers, you'd re-join the revamp. you did, but your name changed back to only "joohyuk", i felt my face fall into the ground. but the silly me, still decided to put up the same status directed to you, and you changed yours again. i was happy. i couldn't tell anyone i was, but i was.
nine.
an event was held. masters and slaves. i shamefully raised a question in our conversation... are you gonna buy anyone?
[ because an ugly needs to be paired with an ugly ] you bought me.
ten.
in the middle of every heated argument, silly things happen in between. like you, taking a few steps close to me. my heart constantly racing every damn time. whilst my mind, constantly reminding me not to fall. but we had our first kiss. then just like how the huge titan broke down the walls, you did.

after that, we confessed and dated.
that was eight months plus days ago.
and i still, vividly remember every scene even if kik deleted a lot of those messages, they're forever stored in my memory. not so grandma, HUH? loser. FiTE mE.

okay no, this was supposed to be a sweet message.

coughs.

this is the real deal.

we've been inactively talking these past few months, i got busy and i got you waiting, i had issues with kik, personal life, but you were always there for me whenever i come back to your arms. i wouldn't have known what to do with all of these without you.

inviting you to facebook is one of the best decisions i've made.
i believe this strengthened our relationship.. i hope. i guess. but to me it does, i love you. i have always loved you.

but now, i love you even more than i thought i could ever love.

thank you for being my safe haven. my confidante. the arms i could run to when everything else goes wrong. my life would've been dull and crazily damned without you.

words can't explain how grateful i am to have you in my life. i ' m l i tera lly tea r ing u p wh ile wr i ting t h is i am  s uch a cry b ab y???

please stay with me tomorrow, and then next, next, next.. let there be "next" always.

i love you and happy 8th monthsary, baby ugly. ♥