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Embryo adoption is the "adoption" of a frozen embryo that is ready for implantation. The embryo is then implanted into the adoptive mother, who carries and gives birth to the child as if it was her own biological child.

In this article, a couple who adopted embryos shares the reasons behind their decision in hopes to encourage others to pursue embryo adoption.

What are your thoughts?

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By Aaron Wilson
Before my wife delivered our twins, they were first delivered by FedEx.

In what probably made for a peculiar package, my children were shipped in a state of suspended animation-frozen in liquid nitrogen that kept them alive until my wife could give birth to them four years later.

While this may sound like the introduction to a science fiction novel, it's a real-life story. My wife and I chose to grow our family through a process called embryo adoption in an attempt to honor preborn life.

While embryo adoption can be confusing, it's an important need facing America and other countries that use assisted reproductive technology to create life outside the womb.

What is embryo adoption?

Embryo adoption is a response to a dilemma often caused by in-vitro fertilization (IVF)-a reproductive procedure that combines sperm and eggs in a lab to create embryos.

During IVF, fertility clinics often create more embryos than will be transferred to a womb. This is because not all of the harvested eggs will achieve fertilization through IVF and fertility clinics want to ensure they have enough embryos to transfer.

Fertility clinics may also create excess embryos in order to select ones for transfer that are deemed more likely to achieve pregnancy. This typically leaves parents who've gone through IVF with an important ethical decision of what to do with their remaining embryos that weren't transferred.

Rather than destroy these embryos or leave them frozen in development for an indefinite amount of time, some couples choose to place their embryos for adoption.

Snowflake babies

In embryo adoption, an adopting mother gives already-created embryos a chance at birth by allowing them to be thawed and transferred to her uterus. If one or more of the embryos implant, the adopting mother then carries and gives birth to the child or children although she is not genetically related to them.

Some people refer to this as pre-birth adoption and call the adopted embryos snowflake babies-a reference to their small size, frozen state, and unique nature.

Our snowflake babies were shipped as frozen embryos from a fertility clinic in Washington State to the National Embryo Donation Center in Knoxville, Tennessee, where we adopted them in 2011.

Here are four of the most significant reasons we chose to adopt embryos.

Embryo adoption is pro-life

My wife and I use the words embryo and child interchangeable because we subscribe to the worldview that life begins at fertilization.

This view is shared by Christian organizations and groups who have written about the need for couples to adopt frozen embryos, such as Focus on the Family, the Christian Medical & Dental Associations, The Gospel Coalition, and the Ethics and Religious Liberty Commission (ERLC) of the Southern Baptist Convention.

Russell Moore, president of the ERLC and a supporter of embryo adoption, says children frozen in cryogenic containers already exist as persons created in the image of God.

While the U.S. government doesn't recognize these embryos as children, Christians can honor their personhood by offering them the hospitality of a womb and a place in a family.

Embryo adoption is needed

In an article from 2014, CNN reported a low-end estimate that hundreds of thousands of frozen embryos already exist in the United States. Of these, the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services reports as many as 60,000 embryos could be made available for adoption.

An awareness of these figures can lead to:

More people thinking about the ethical implications of using assisted reproductive technology.

Parents who have remaining embryos on ice learning about the life-affirming options available to them.

More couples pursuing embryo adoption and granting already-conceived children a way out of the freezer.

Jesus was adopted as an embryo

One of the more eye-opening moments for my wife and me, as we considered growing our family, was the realization that Christ's incarnation involved a unique form of embryo adoption.

Matthew 1:18 became an important verse for us in this regard. The passage records that before Joseph and Mary came together, she was "found to be with child through the Holy Spirit" (ESV). Two verses later, God also tells Joseph, "what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit."

This means Jesus didn't leave His throne in heaven for a manger-at least not directly as the popular phrase suggests. Nor did Christ first enter humanity Christmas morning as a baby. Instead, Scripture says Jesus' incarnation began nine months earlier inside a womb as a human embryo.

Is Matthew 1:18-20 an explicit proof text stating Christians should adopt embryos? No. However, the passage does support the biblical worldview that human life begins before birth. Even though Jesus wasn't biologically related to Joseph, the poor tradesman still chose to adopt the Lord in embryonic form and raise Jesus as his own.

Since the Lord of the universe humbled Himself as an embryo to save humanity on His way to the cross, it seems right for Christ-followers to support embryo adoption as a way to honor the humanity of preborn life in need of a womb.

Embryo adoption is always successful in God's eyes

Our twins will turn 7 this year-developmentally, that is. Counting their time frozen, they've actually been alive for more than a decade.

As much as we enjoy raising our twins, we also grieve the deaths of other children we adopted as embryos who didn't survive the transfer process. (The live birth rate average with embryo adoption is 1 in 3 attempts.)

However, we don't view those adoptions as failures. My wife and I knew the odds of achieving live birth through embryo adoption but went into the process believing God would be glorified regardless of the outcome since frozen children would still receive an opportunity at birth.

You see, embryo adoption isn't merely a fertility treatment that eyes birth as the sole goal. While infertility is often a catalyst that leads many couples to adopt embryos, fertile couples also choose to pursue embryo adoption as a way to live out their pro-life values.

With hundreds of thousands of embryos suspended in animation in the U.S., and more and more couples turning to IVF every day, my wife and I share our story in the hope embryo adoption will become an important issue on the radar of everyone who professes the belief life begins at fertilization.
Related:
AARON WILSON (@AaronBWilson26) is associate editor for Facts & Trends. Watch a short BBC News video about his family's journey through embryo adoption.

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Why My Wife and I Chose to Adopt Embryos | Facts & Trends

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By Aaron Wilson Before my wife delivered our twins, they were first delivered by FedEx. In what probably made for a peculiar package, my children were shipped in a state of suspended animation-frozen in liquid nitrogen that kept them alive until my wife could give birth to them four years later.

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Attached below is an graphic raising awareness for a condition known as PCOS (a condition that causes amenorrhea). According to the graphic, approximately 50% of women with PCOS go undiagnosed.

Why do you think that PCOS goes undiagnosed in so many women?

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In this article, Alyson Stoner, a former Disney star, opens up about her struggle with coming out as bisexual.

Stoner mentions that she struggled with her religion because it "neither supported nor accepted same-sex relationships" and she turned to multiple pastors and church leaders for help.

Going off of last week's discussion in class on homosexuality, do you think that a person can be homosexual/bisexual and still be a Christian? Why or why not?

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Alyson Stoner attends the Teen Choice Awards 2017 at Galen Center on August 13, 2017 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Frazer Harrison/Getty Images)

Former Disney actress Alyson Stoner has come out as bisexual.

The 24-year-old musician and actress, who is best known for her roles in Cheaper by the Dozen and The Suite Life of Zack & Cody, opened up about her sexuality in an emotional essay for Teen Vogue. ﻿

In the post Stoner recalled falling in love with a woman and spoke movingly about her long journey to truly accept her own self.

She wrote: "I'm very sensitive to the incredibly diverse range of opinions within religious and secular communities, and honestly, I'd appreciate if we focused first on the experiences and dignity of the people.

"I'm asking for you to feel what I feel on a human level, to appreciate the beauty of someone diving into the unknown in pursuit of love and truth. I'm asking you to accept me as I accept myself.

"I, Alyson, am attracted to men, women, and people who identify in other ways. I can love people of every gender identity and expression. It is the soul that captivates me.

"It is the love we can build and the goodness we can contribute to the world by supporting each other's best journeys."

Of the women she was in love with, Stoner added: "I spent years - not months or weeks or days, but years - trying to identify the source of my attraction to her. Like many, I had internalized some of the harmful beliefs and misconceptions about LGBTQ people and identities.

"At the time, I thought, Maybe it's because I moved away from my father as a child and didn't have typical male guidance in my life. Maybe it's because I've experienced abuse from men and therefore I'm scared of intimacy with them (and in general). Maybe it's because open sexuality is prevalent in my artistic community and I subconsciously just want to fit in. Maybe I actually want to be her, and I'm mistaking idolization for romance. Anything besides being gay, please!"

She added: "My faith at that time played a large role in every aspect of my life, and my worldview neither supported nor accepted same-sex relationships.

"I prayed in turmoil nightly, begging to be healed from these desires. Certain pastors and community members tried to reverse and eliminate my attraction to her.

"I pursued physical relationships with men to convince myself that my love for her was just a spiritual battle attacking my character and discernment. I pored over texts, contemporary and ancient, seeking truth and answers from professors, scientists, church leaders, friends, and family. I didn't want to get this wrong.

"After all, not only was I trying to be a 'good and upright' person, but I'm also a public figure with responsibility and extreme pressure."

She added: "If you're questioning or struggling with your sexuality, gender identity, or anything else, know that I and so many who've gone before us are with you.

"Whatever your identity, you are lovable and wonderful and enough. I'm on the other side of some of these battles internally, but it's still a challenge in the outside world. It's OK. Dare to be yourself anyway.

"Find support, because we're out there! And when you fall in love with anyone, you'll know exactly what I felt for her." As [my song] When It's Right describes, it's right when it's right - and who it's right with. She messed up everything in the best way possible, and I wouldn't change a thing."

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Former Disney star Alyson Stoner comes out as bisexual, opens about struggle with religion

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Former Disney actress Alyson Stoner has come out as bisexual. The 24-year-old musician and actress, who is best known for her roles in Cheaper by the Dozen and The Suite Life of Zack & Cody, opened up about her sexuality in an emotional essay for Teen Vogue.

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This article from Cosmopolitan talks about the use of nipple clamps for intense sensation and also provides a breakdown of the different types.

Did you know that nipple clamps existed?  Do you think that there are risks associated with using them?

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For those of us not acquainted with nipple clamps, they can be kind of an intimidating venture into Sex Toy Landia. What are nipple clamps? Why do people wear them? What will they do for me? When do I wear them? How do I wear them?

Dr. Carol Queen, PhD and resident sexpert at Good Vibrations, explains that the purpose of a nipple clamp is twofold. The clamp can be used to squeeze or pinch nipples for an intense sensation and secondly, clamps are also very useful for hands-free nipple play. Sure, you could pinch your partner's nipples all night long, but you could also do so much more with a free hand. As for why nipples? Lisa Finn, Brand Manager and Sex Educator at Babeland, explains that nipple clamps work similarly to penis rings. When you clamp the nipple or use a penis ring, "blood gets trapped into that tissue making it super sensitive to the touch."

"They can be used during solo or partner sex and are especially identified with BDSM and kink, since they can cause fairly intense sensation," Queen explains. While the sensation of clamps might be deemed "painful" to some, other people into BDSM would actually find the sensation "exciting and intense" and not painful at all. Of course, there are levels to the sensation of clamps, and there are many clamps that can be adjusted to your needs or limits.

As for the hands-free part, some clamps come with chains that can attach to collars or other bondage accessories for even more sensation. "There are [also] clamps that are blingy and jeweled, which makes them a type of intense budoir accessory or exhibitionist plaything," Queen says. Some of these more complicated clamps will include a "Y-chain" with a third clamp meant for use on the clitoris or foreskin.

When choosing a clamp, Queen says you want to take into account two criteria: how big your nipples are, and how much pressure you enjoy. "Some clamps cover a wider surface area and might be preferred by people with bigger nipples," Queen explains. The size of the clamps also affect sensitivity. "Thin or small tips on clamps focus the pressure down to one small spot instead of spreading it out." For clamp newbies, Queen recommends trying as many different types of clamps as possible before deciding what feels best. Your arousal level also matters when picking a clamp, as Queen notes that you may find you enjoy different clamps during different stages of your arousal.

For the newbie:

These bestselling tweezer clamps are a hit at Good Vibrations. The "tweezer" on each end is tipped in rubber for comfort (you can find pain to be pleasurable but open scratches and cuts usually are best avoided) and there's a slider on each clamp that allows you to adjust the tightness of each clamp.

Shop Now Tweezer Clamps, GOOD VIBRATIONS, $18
A no-frills alligator clamp:

These rubber-lined alligator clamps have an adjustable screw to change the amount of pressure on the nipple. The chain is also weighted so you feel extra sensitive with every move you make.

Shop Now Alligator Clamps, FETISH FANTASY (Available on Amazon), $6

A tickling alligator clamp:

The feather on these clamps isn't purely for decorative purposes, but is actually functional. Lisa Finn of Babeland explains, "Adding in other sensations like tickling the nipples with a feather, licking them, or teasing them between lubed-up fingers can feel much more intense when paired with the use of clamps." If you're not sure about the weight of a chain, the feathers can be just as an erotic experience.

Shop Now Adjustable Nipple Clamps, BABELAND, $18

For a nipple clamp and clit clamp chain combo:

This rose-gold chain is part of the Fifty Shades Freed line, and includes delicate weighted balls on each of the nipple and clit clamps for extra weight. The nipple clamps are tipped in soft purple silicone for extra comfort too.

Shop Now Fifty Shades Freed Nipple and Clitoral Chain, LOVEHONEY, $30

For a non-metal nipple clamp:

This nipple "clamp" is actually made up of an adjustable string that hooks onto each nipple. There's a weighted chain in between each loop so you'll still get the sensation of weight and tension, but for those who don't want a metal clip, this is a good option. This particular set also comes with a separate clit clamp with weighted balls for extra sensation.
Shop Now Clit and Nipple Clamp, FETISH FANTASY (Available at Lovehoney), $15
For something similar in sensation that's not a "clamp":

These nipple suckers are not exactly "clamps" but as Queen explains, they do employ similar sensations. The twist mechanism creates a suction on your nipple (or anywhere else you'd like suction) for hands-free sensation. No batteries required!

Shop Now Vacuum Twist Suckers, CAL EXOTICS (Available at Good Vibrations), $16

For nipple clamps that vibrate:

These silicone coated clamps feature a pinchless toggle so you're held in place while each tiny-but-powerful vibrator does its magic.

Shop Now Fifty Shades of Grey Vibrating Nipple Clamps, LOVEHONEY, $25

For a heavy-duty nipple clamp:

Finn says that these dense metal clamps "tug on the nipple with its weight, adding a sensation of pulling as well as tension on the sensitive tissue." The screw-on functionality means you can also adjust each screw for a perfect fit, and accidentally snapping the clamps shut too fast is basically impossible.

Shop Now Rings of Fire Nipple Press Set, BABELAND, $48

For the BDSM expert:

The unique design of the Clover Clamps means the more you tug on the chain, the tighter the clamp gets. These clamps are non-adjustable so you probably shouldn't buy them if you're just dipping your toe into the water or have limited experience with nipple clamps.

Shop Now Clover Clamps, BABELAND, $26

If you're using the clamps with a partner, make sure to get their consent and establish a safe word. Since clamps can cause a bit of pain, extra care and attention to your partner's needs are especially important. You can try placing the "jaws" of the clamp on the nipple or behind the nipple (on the areola) for different sensations. Finn recommends starting with the clamps at the back of the nipple (against the areola) since pinching the tip of your nipple right out the gate may be too painful at first. And despite the name, you never want to suddenly clamp the jaws shut! "Determine where you want the pressure to be, then slowly close the clamp," Queen explains. Once it's on, you can always adjust the tension accordingly. You can also try adding stimulation like kissing or sucking on your partner's nipples while the clamps are attached (be careful not to chip your teeth though, because your partner bucking in ecstasy + cold metal + teeth is a trip to the dentist you probably want to avoid if possible.)

Queen recommends waiting until you're thoroughly aroused before applying the clamps. The reason, she explains, is because "arousal helps mediate pain and for many, this helps the sensation feel pleasurable." Of course, not everyone will be a fan of nipple clamps, even when experienced at peak arousal etc. "Some people won't like it regardless, and this is not a toy that everyone absolutely *must* get into," Queen says. "Clamps are not everyone's cup of tea, and a beginner, especially, may need to build up tolerance for keeping them on for a while," Just make sure you're not wearing them for longer than 20 minutes at a time. Since the toys affect blood flow, you don't want to wear them long term.

Thankfully, the fun doesn't necessarily stop when the clamps come off. Queen explains that when you remove the clamps and the blood starts rushing back to the nerves, it can be an even stronger sensation than when you first put them on. Damn! Pretty neat for a sex toy that doesn't even require batteries.
Follow Carina on Twitter.

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9 Nipple Clamps You Should Look Into ASAP

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For those of us not acquainted with nipple clamps, they can be kind of an intimidating venture into Sex Toy Landia. What are nipple clamps? Why do people wear them? What will they do for me? When do I wear them? How do I wear them?

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Post #9 : "I Sued My Ex for Giving Me an STD - and I Won"

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Post #9 : "I Sued My Ex for Giving Me an STD - and I Won"

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This article discusses the case of Karly Rossiter, a young woman who sued her ex boyfriend for giving her HPV (after telling her that he hadn't had sex in 6 months and had never had an STD).

What do you think about this article? Should people be allowed to sue others for giving them STDs?

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Rossiter revisits the Muscatine, Iowa, courthouse.

The whole thing started with a trip to the dentist. Karly Rossiter, then 22, was home on break from the University of Iowa in December 2004 when she went for an appointment. Someone new had taken over the Muscatine, Iowa, practice where Rossiter was a patient-someone new, cute and single. Alan Evans, then 32, was clean-cut and sweet-natured and, of course, had an excellent smile. Rossiter was smitten.

When Rossiter returned for a follow-up, the two hit it off. She had an evening appointment, and afterward, she says, they sat chatting on the waiting room couch into the night. Then Rossiter and Evans started having marathon phone conversations, cracking each other up and revealing more and more about themselves. Rossiter liked what she heard. "He said he was a leader in his church, that he liked to fish, hunt, ride his motorcycle and go out on his boat," she says. "He seemed low-key, smart, interested in world affairs-just my type." They made a date for New Year's Eve, a couple of weeks away.

Because she felt things were about to get serious, Rossiter used one of those long phone calls to have "the talk" about her sexual history. What she told Evans was almost oversharing, but, she says, she felt it was the right thing to do. She told him she'd recently broken up with a long-time boyfriend, her fifth sexual partner, and hadn't slept with anyone in a few months. With the exception of one irregular Pap smear in 2002, she had a clean bill of health and had never tested positive for STDs. Rossiter recalls Evans following suit, saying he'd been in a sexual "dry spell" for six months and had also never had any STDs. "I had no reason not to trust him," she says. For that first New Year's Eve date, the budding couple stayed in: "We got cuddly on the couch," Rossiter says. "And one thing led to another."

The following day, Rossiter was lounging around her apartment alone in her comfy sweatpants, starry-eyed about her new guy. When Evans called her on the phone, she quickly snatched it up, smiling. But she remembers him saying something during that conversation that shocked her: "He told me that he thought I should get tested for HPV. When I asked why, he just said it would be a good idea." Within days, Rossiter paid a visit to her gynecologist to be tested for human papilloma virus, the sexually transmitted disease that causes cervical cancer. She'd get the test results in several weeks, so until then, Rossiter put the whole thing out of her mind.

And no wonder. She was on her way to falling in love with Evans. But she could never have predicted how their romance would end: with her life turned upside down, and Rossiter herself at the center of a high-stakes court case that could have ripple effects for men and women nationwide. In these pages, Rossiter tells her side of the story exclusively to Glamour. On the advice of his attorneys, Evans declined to be interviewed, but court documents and his trial testimony make it very clear: He believed their relationship started out far more casually than she did. While Rossiter and Evans may still sharply disagree about the exact details, what ultimately happened between them raises some important questions for the rest of us-questions about trust, integrity, personal responsibility and how far we should all go to protect our sexual health.

"It Felt Like the Real Thing"

As Rossiter tells it, the early months of her relationship with Evans were straight out of a sappy movie montage. They went sailing on Evans' boat and dined out at a local Mexican restaurant. He took her hunting, fishing and sailing. She brought him to the softball games she coached. Once, Evans even dipped her in a Hollywood-style kiss in downtown Muscatine. "It made my heart melt," says Rossiter. "We were that lovey-dovey couple everyone wanted to be. It felt like the real thing."

Then one day, while on the phone with Evans, Rossiter opened a letter that would change her life. Due to a logistical mix-up, her HPV results had taken nearly three months to arrive. After reading the letter, she panicked and started crying: She'd tested positive for HPV. Evans told her it was "no big deal." [On the stand he denied discussing Rossiter's diagnosis.] But even after their talk, "I was confused about what [the results] meant," she says. So she started googling. She learned that in most cases, the body fights off the virus naturally. And since, she says, she had no symptoms such as genital warts, she concluded it wasn't anything to worry about. "I went on with my life," she says.

Except for one annoying thing. Rossiter had been seeing her doctor about repeated vaginal infections, which she says she'd never had before, and which were treated with rounds of antibiotics. Rossiter began to wonder if her new beau was the source of her infections -and if his recent sexual past was really what she believed it to be.

When Rossiter discussed her infections with Evans and suggested that he should get checked too, he seemed unconcerned. According to his court testimony, Evans told her that he didn't need to be treated because, among other things, he doesn't have a vagina. And he told Rossiter something that shocked her: He'd recently slept with a girl named Sasha,* but couldn't remember if it had happened before they'd started dating. "I was furious. What about his dry spell'?" Rossiter wondered. Evans apologized, she says. "But I was upset. He assured me I was the only woman now and that he was in love with me. And I believed him," Rossiter says.

Then in August came another disclosure. The two were hanging out at a park, and Evans seemed tense. "What's going on?" Rossiter asked him.

"What are the three worst things I could say to you?" she remembers Evans saying.

Rossiter's heart raced. "When your boyfriend says something like that, wild things go through your head. What could be so horrible?" Trembling, she says she made three guesses: "You have AIDS; you're gay; you got someone pregnant."

Evans paused. "Sasha told me her due date," Rossiter recalls him saying. She collapsed-her third guess was spot-on.

But Evans soothed her and even questioned whether he really was the father. "He made himself out to be the victim," Rossiter says. "He seemed devastated. Despite my anger, I felt bad for him." And so she didn't end the relationship.

When the baby came that fall, however, Evans confirmed it was his, and the birth date proved that the child was conceived while Rossiter and Evans were dating. Still, Rossiter stuck by him. "I have no explanation for why I put up with what I did," she says now. "I have always been a strong girl, and I've never taken crap from anyone. He weakened who I was as a person."

But she wouldn't stand by him much longer. By January 2006, almost exactly a year since the two started sleeping together, Rossiter was diagnosed with symptoms of two types of HPV: genital warts-she thought she'd seen similar lesions on Evans' penis, but says he refused to talk about them-and severe dysplasia (precancerous cells on the cervix). "I was a total wreck," she says. Rossiter was immediately scheduled for LEEP surgery-a painful procedure in which a metal wire with an electrical current is passed along the cervix, cutting out precancerous cells.

Meanwhile, all signs suggested that their relationship was fast deteriorating. Evans didn't accompany Rossiter to the LEEP procedure. The couple was having vicious fights, and Rossiter felt certain that Evans was cheating. One day, Rossiter's parents phoned, horrified, after a local waitress gushed to them about her "really sweet and nice" dentist, Alan Evans, who'd called her cell out of the blue after her appointment. Adding to the strain on their relationship, Evans was the father of a newborn and was still in close contact with Sasha. "In hindsight, my relationship was so obviously awful, but it was hard to see," she says. "Alan always made it seem like our problems weren't that bad, that we were worth fighting for. I was in so deep, I believed it."

By June, Rossiter was at the end of her rope. She'd been accepted to law school in the fall, and could almost taste a happier future. She and Evans broke up.

"I Wanted Him to Be Held Accountable"

Once Rossiter was 1,500 miles away from Evans and attending Arizona State University law school, the implications of their relationship finally started to hit home. She felt particularly anxious about her genital warts and dysplasia, and she'd been seeing a therapist to help her deal with all her questions: Would her symptoms continue forever? Would she eventually develop full-blown cervical cancer? At long last, her worries turned to anger. "I came to realize that Alan had gotten away with something dangerous-not only for me but for every woman he'd get involved with down the road. He assured me he had been tested and was clean," she says. "It's not right. I wanted him to be held accountable."

Rossiter's next step was to make sure he would be: She took Evans to court. As a future lawyer, she did her research and discovered that there have been many lawsuits in which individuals were held responsible for spreading STDs such as HIV and herpes to a partner, but she didn't find any successful cases centered on HPV. What would make her case so difficult to prove, and so controversial, is the ubiquitous, wily nature of HPV: It's the most common sexually transmitted disease in the United States, according to the CDC. It can be transmitted by skin-to-skin contact alone-you don't even need to have intercourse to get it, and using condoms can't guarantee protection. And once you contract HPV, it can lie dormant for years, causing no symptoms or problems.

Proof of transmission is even harder to come by because there is no HPV test for men. "The only way to know that you caught HPV from a particular man is if you have never had your clothes off with anyone else," says Jill Grimes, M.D., an Austin, Texas-based family physician and author of Seductive Delusions: How Everyday People Catch STDs. "In some men, HPV shows up as genital warts, but men often show no symptoms-if that's the case, they have no way of knowing for sure that they are carriers."

Despite all this, Rossiter found an attorney who was willing to represent her, and in March 2007 she filed a civil case alleging that Evans had given her two sexually transmitted infections. Two years after their relationship ended, in a Muscatine, Iowa, courtroom on July 28, 2008, Rossiter finally faced Evans again.

When Rossiter took the stand, she told the jury about how Evans first won her over. She spoke of the call in which he suggested she get checked for HPV, her diagnosis, her stressful symptoms, the warts she thought she saw on his penis, the other women she suspected. She described how she'd had warts burned off repeatedly and how they still kept coming, and she lamented how she'd now have to tell every man she ever dated about her condition and hope he'd still want to see her. She reminded them that she could develop cervical cancer. She also provided evidence that her insurer at the time was dropping her, not just from cervical cancer coverage but from all cancer coverage, due to her HPV.

When Evans took the stand, he said he couldn't recall several key events that Rossiter outlined, and denied others. He testified that he never told her he'd had a "dry spell" before they began dating. Though he admitted to seeing Sasha and another woman at the start of their relationship, he said he didn't tell Rossiter to get tested for HPV the day after their first night together. He denied ever having warts or any STD to his knowledge, and told the court that he never knew Rossiter had HPV until he was served with legal papers. And he implied that Rossiter could be motivated by revenge. "I'm going to spend my life making yours miserable," he claimed she told him.

In such a he-said-she-said case, perhaps the most damning evidence against Evans was the timeline of Rossiter's HPV symptoms. Gregory Brotzman, M.D., an HPV specialist, testified that genital warts often appear in women within three weeks to three months of HPV exposure; and that in about 50 percent of cases, precancerous cells will develop within 14 months of HPV exposure. Based on Rossiter's sexual history and medical records, Dr. Brotzman found it "more likely than not" that she contracted HPV from Evans.

Experts interviewed by Glamour agreed. If you've had the same partner for the past six months and develop HPV-related symptoms, says Shobha S. Krishnan, M.D., a New York City gynecologist and the author of The HPV Vaccine Controversy, chances are that your current partner gave it to you. But it's not a certainty, Dr. Krishnan stresses: "The disease can lie dormant in the body for years and become active at any time. Even if you're currently in a monogamous relationship, you or your partner could have acquired HPV from a previous relationship." Scientifically there's no way to know for sure who gave HPV to Rossiter.

But to win her case, she needed only a "preponderance of evidence" that Evans was responsible. "The jury only needs to find it more likely than not that the defendant did what he is accused of," says Areva Martin, a Los Angeles-based attorney and author of The Everyday Advocate. (In criminal cases, a defendant's guilt must be proved "beyond a reasonable doubt." )

After a day and a half, the jurors reached a decision: Evans was negligent in transmitting HPV to Rossiter and had acted in "willful and wanton disregard" for her safety. "I was so relieved," Rossiter says. "The jury sent the message that we shouldn't tolerate someone being so cavalier about such an important issue." And Evans must pay her a whopping $1.5 million-one of the largest known monetary awards in an STD case.

Evans appealed, but the Iowa Court of Appeals ruled against him in December 2009. This past March, the Iowa Supreme Court did the same. "Evans is a dentist," an appellate judge wrote. "He has received medical training and should be aware of the risks associated with communicable diseases.... The harm [he caused] was not a result of mere accident."

Should people sue over HPV? Some experts believe such cases send a message that people need to take responsibility for their sexual behavior. "If you engage in conduct that you know can cause harm to others, and fail to take precautions or give them an opportunity to opt out, you can hardly complain when you are held accountable," says Martin. But not everyone agrees that lawsuits are the way to go. "We live in a highly litigious society, and because the rates of HPV are overwhelming, it could clog up our courts if a lot of people sue," says Joanne Belknap, Ph.D., a sociology professor at the University of Colorado at Boulder and an expert on gender and legal issues. "Lawsuits like this one point to the need for better sex education."

Asked to comment for Glamour's story, Evans offered only this statement via e-mail: "Despite what happened in court, I do not and have never had any STD. Furthermore, I have never had any sign or symptom of HPV." Rossiter stands by her decision to sue. "I'm in no way suggesting that everyone with HPV should seek legal recourse-that's not the point," she says. "I think what my case highlights is that honesty is vital in relationships. What happened to me could happen to anyone, single or married, with one partner or a hundred. Women everywhere should know that if a partner puts your health at risk or lies to you, you have the right to stand up for yourself."

How Do You Know If a Man Has HPV?

It's very difficult; there's no test for men, and many men show no symptoms. What's more, about half of sexually active men and women get HPV at some point in their lives. How can you lower your risk? Use condoms, or consider getting the HPV vaccine, recommended for people up to age 26. And get regular Pap smears to detect any cancerous changes early, when they are very treatable.

Would You Sue Over an STD?

Karly Rossiter made a major statement with her lawsuit against her ex-boyfriend. But do you think people should sue each other over HPV? Did the court make the right call in this case? Here's how some Glamour readers reacted:

"I got HPV...it's a pain in the butt, but would I dream of litigation for contracting it? Even if I get cancer? No. That would be absurd. Sometimes bad stuff happens to you, and you have to roll with it rather than look for people to blame." * -Becca B., 31, Hartford, Conn.*

"People think HPV isn't all that bad, but for many women it's a huge deal. If rulings like this can help work against the taboo of having, and disclosing, STDs so we can all know and accept risks willingly, then I see nothing wrong with this verdict." * -Melissa R., 32, New York City*

"HPV can cause cancer, and this woman had precancerous cells removed, which is a serious thing. But this ruling strikes me as a bit over the top." -Meghan A., 31, Columbus, Ohio

"This seems unfair. Even assuming he did give it to her, is he now free to sue one of the other women he'd had sex with for giving it to him and for causing him to give it to his girlfriend, and therefore costing him $1.5 million? The mind reels." * -Tania S., 33, Somerville, Mass.*

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"I Sued My Ex for Giving Me an Std--and I Won"

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Rossiter revisits the Muscatine, Iowa, courthouse. The whole thing started with a trip to the dentist. Karly Rossiter, then 22, was home on break from the University of Iowa in December 2004 when she went for an appointment. Someone new had taken over the Muscatine, Iowa, practice where Rossiter was a patient-someone new, cute and single.

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"It is horrifying, amusing, bewildering, and a bizarre combo of ego-boosting and soul-destroying."

This article shares the candid thoughts of nine women on what it is like to start dating again following a divorce.

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Dating after divorce can be, well, terrifying. After all, the last "first date" you went on was with your ex, and look how well that turned out.

You probably have a lot of unanswered questions about getting "back on the market," too: Are you too old for Tinder? Too young for Match? What if you pick the wrong person- again? The list goes on.

But rather than getting so bogged down by the potential obstacles in your way, consider the fact that it might not actually be that bad. Who knows, maybe you'll even meet your soulmate.

Can't imagine it? Take it from these nine real women who got divorced, and dove back into the world of dating. They've been through it all-the good, the bad, and everything in between. Here, they share what to expect and, ultimately, what you can look forward to.

"I was married so young. When my divorce was finalized, I felt like I served 20 to life in an unhappy marriage. I waited a year and a half before accepting a date, just to make sure I entered the market with as little baggage as possible-small emotional carry-on, I felt was acceptable. I've been fortunate to have experienced three loving adult relationships with men that were highly evolved, smart, and kind. Today, I'm dating a wonderful man who I want to spend the rest of my life journey with. He's a neurosurgeon with Ph.D., TALL, dark, and handsome. Though not a lot, the three I dated have definitely been an upgrade from my earlier relationship/marriage. I constantly do the Snoopy happy dance when it comes to love over 40!" - Linda, 41
What Guys DON'T Want to Know About Your Dating History:

"I went on 400 dates [after getting divorced]. [It] is horrifying, amusing, bewildering, and a bizarre combo of ego-boosting and soul-destroying. The important thing is to not take it too seriously, have fun, take your time and know the best is yet to come only with a little more experience and baggage." - Tiffany, 47

Fear of missing out?

Don't miss out anymore!

"I got divorced about three years ago and started dating pretty quickly. I actually really enjoyed my post-divorce dating. I am an outgoing gal and had no problem dating so I tried pretty much every dating site. I met some great people and was introduced to new-to-me adventures... I also had some crazy, not-so-great experiences. If you are newly single I highly recommend dating. Just don't expect to meet Prince Charming for some time." - Jennifer, 45

"Nervous? You bet. I thought I would meet someone naturally, like through a friend. Instead, I must have gone on 30 dates through various dating sites and then it happened. Just as I was getting off dating sites my Prince Charming arrived... Thanks to Match.com, we have been together for over four years and are beginning to plan our life together seriously. You may need to kiss a few frogs to find your Prince but it was all worth it." - Stacey, 52

"I was nervous and not expecting too much when I signed up for a dating app, but was completely appalled with all the private photos men were sending and asking for. However, I was just looking for someone to casually date until my son graduated high school and I moved to another state to start over. The few dates I went on were great because I was selective and took time to get to know the guys. I learned my value system had changed since my marriage-what used to be important wasn't any longer. Long story short, I met and married my soulmate." - Valencia, 40

"I got divorced last year at 34, and the last time I'd been on a date before that was at age 24.

"I met all my dates through apps, which was totally weird and foreign, and my first date was with a very accomplished businessman who was a divorced father of two. I shook like a leaf the entire night and cried during my drive home.

"I met lots of great guys and the main theme I saw throughout, whether they were 42 or 23, was that they either treated dating super casually or took it way over the edge. The younger men seemed to take a thrill in that I was older and strung me along, then ' ghosted' me on and off (oh yes, all these new terms!) One man who was my age wanted marriage the first week we dated, and another lied about who he was and became obsessed with me (don't ever give out your personal info on an app!)

"I cut out the apps and met a wonderful man the old-fashioned way: at the local library with our kids. Ultimately, through the whole crazy experience, I learned I didn't (and don't) need a man to complete me and I discovered who I was outside of the roles of 'wife' and 'mother'. It felt fantastic, and still does." - Liza, 35

"I LOVED dating after divorce. So much so that I started helping my newly single friends out, and it turned into a private coaching business." - Dana, 44

"Learning to trust my instincts again was the most challenging [part of] starting to date after my divorce. My first step was taking a break to work through the process and journey of a failed marriage. My first date was mostly to experience being around male company again. I was incredibly nervous with meeting a new person and enjoyed talking about light topics.

"I definitely wasn't looking for my NEXT husband, but simply being open to the idea of being around a male and laughing again." - Alicia, 41

"I found dating after divorce to be a little scary but a good new start. I started dating for fun and wasn't really finding what I wanted. I learned so much about myself and what I wanted in a relationship.

"After about five months of dating, I challenged myself to make a list of traits I wanted in a new man as well as in a new relationship. I did not sway from my list. I then wasn't finding what I was looking for in the men who were contacting me, so I decided to get on a different dating site called 'Plenty of Fish' and seek out five profiles that matched my list. Two guys responded and, believe it or not, one of them I just married after dating seven years! He is my soulmate. So it does work!" - Sonja, 48

Gigi Engle is a sex educator and writer living in Chicago. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter at @GigiEngle.

See Next

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9 Women Share What It's Really Like To Start Dating After Divorce

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Dating after divorce can be, well, terrifying. After all, the last "first date" you went on was with your ex, and look how well that turned out. You probably have a lot of unanswered questions about getting "back on the market," too: Are you too old for Tinder? Too young for Match?

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This article discusses genital piercing in women- specifically the clitoris and clitoral hood.

The article reports that many women experience greater sexual pleasure due to the piercing, with some being able to reach orgasm in more positions and some being able to experience multiple orgasms.

With the possible benefits come risks: risk of infection, damage to the nerve supply, and discomfort when using sanitary products.

Do you think that the risks outweigh the benefits, or do you think that the possibility of enhanced sexual pleasure is worth the risk?

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Here's everything you need to know about clitoris piercings, from the pain to the (very well-documented) pleasure.

The sexual benefits

There's evidence that clit piercings aren't just about looking pretty, but also have a direct impact on sexual pleasure. This is because of their close proximity of the highly sensitive nerve supply to this part of the genitals. Many women say the vertical clitoral hood piercing will mean greater enhancement of sexual pleasure as the way the jewellery sits increases pressure on the clitoris.

Women with pierced clitoral hoods have said since having it done they can now reach orgasm in more positions (rather than just on top), and some newly experience multiple orgasms because of the extra stimulation. Other women have reported their vertical clit hood piercings made them come so hard they cried...
Experienced piercer Clem, who works in Topshop Oxford Street's in-house shop Metal Morphosis says these are the things you need to consider.
The actual piercing

Style: Getting your actual clitoris pierced (through the glans) can be quite dangerous and most studios will refuse to do it. It's clitoral hood piercings that are the most common and popular 'clit' piercings. You can get them pierced vertically or horizontally, but most people opt for a vertical piercing.

Price: Between £80 - £100 for the piercing but you can choose gold or platinum jewellery which will bump up the cost.

Suitability: Not everyone is suitable for the piercing, so depending on your anatomy a piercer may refuse to carry out the piercing.

Jewellery: You can get your clitoral hood pierced with rings, straight bars or curved bars depending on which piercing you go for. Jewellery can be titanium, gold, white gold, rose gold, platinum or palladium.

Risk: There's always a small risk of infection, but if you follow the aftercare instructions this it's unlikely.

Procedure: Normally, genital piercings are done by appointment only as you will need a consultation to ensure your anatomy allows for the piercing. Your piercer will also want to find out what you expect from the piercing so they can advise you on the correct jewellery.

Aftercare: The best place to clean a genital piercing is in the shower. Sitting in a bath tub could introduce bacteria or harsh soaps to your genital area, causing irritation or infection. Don't allow your piercing to come in contact with any bodily fluids for the first few weeks while it heals. This includes semen and saliva. So, you're not restricted from sexual activity, but a condom must be used for any and all sexual contact for at least two weeks or you are putting yourself at risk for infection. This includes masturbation and/or the use of sex toys.

Healing: Around eight weeks.

Pain: A needle is penetrating your genitals, it isn't going to be pain-free. But the procedure is quick and how painful it is will depend on your individual pain threshold.

The health concerns

Obstetrician & Gynaecologist Dr Anne Henderson, from Doctify, says there are a few health concerns to consider before getting a clitoris (hood or glans) piercing:

"Women should not forget that this is an invasive procedure which can carry some health risks and should always be undertaken by an experienced and qualified practitioner, after informed discussion.

"Clitoral hood piercing are the most common intimate piercing as actual clitoral glans piercings are very rarely undertaken due to the intense nerve supply to the clitoris itself, which can be overstimulated by wearing jewellery. There's also the risk that the nerve supply to the clitoris is damaged by the piercing, which could detract from sexual function and enjoyment, and may be permanent.

"Women may also find wearing sanitary protection more uncomfortable than normal and may have to use smaller sanitary pads, ideally organic/bleach free cotton if possible, and avoid the use of tampons for the first few weeks to minimise the risk of infection."

Like this? Come and check us out on Snapchat Discover.

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Everything you need to know about clit piercings

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Here's everything you need to know about clitoris piercings, from the pain to the (very well-documented) pleasure. There's evidence that clit piercings aren't just about looking pretty, but also have a direct impact on sexual pleasure. This is because of their close proximity of the highly sensitive nerve supply to this part of the genitals.

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In this article, three men discuss what it is like to be uncircumcised- specifically what it is like to have sex as an uncircumcised man.

With all of the controversy circulating around circumcision, what do you think that you would choose for your child?

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To cut, or not to cut? Although circumcision rates are declining in America, foreskin is still a hotly debated issue. Here, three anonymous men open up about what it's like to be uncircumcised.
How old are you?
Man 1: Twenty-six.

Man 2: Twenty-nine.

Man 3: Thirty-one.
Were you born in the US?
Man 1: Yes, I was born in San Francisco and grew up in Berkeley California - ironically my parents are Jewish.

Man 2: Yes.

Man 3: No, I was born in Canada.
In general, how do you feel about being uncircumcised?
Man 1: Honestly it's not something you think about day to day or at all until someone brings it up. My parents never made the decision to snip and I feel like it's been a blessing because i have more sensitivity down there.

Man 2: I love it.

Man 3: I feel fine about. I didn't know the difference until I was about 14. I always wondered why porn penises looked different.
How do you think sex might be different if you were circumcised?
Man 1: From what I hear, one doesn't have the sensory endings once the skin is snipped, so I guess I might not feel as much. Another aspect I hear is that it feels better for the girl when the guy is uncircumcised, so maybe girls wouldn't enjoy it as much. With all this said however, I do remember from sex-ed, that the brain is the most important aspect of sex - so I keep that in mind as well!

Man 2: Oral sex definitely wouldn't feel as good. Being uncircumcised makes the head of my penis really sensitive to any kind of stimulation.

Man 3: I've thought about that and I honestly don't think it would be different at all. I just make sure to pull it back before putting a condom on so it won't break.

How do your partners usually react when they find out you're uncircumcised?

Man 1: There has never been any shock value or hesitation once they find out - and to be perfectly honest, I don't have a lot of extra skin down there, so it's "neat" in that sense. Also I have never prefaced any sexual interaction with a heads up about being not being circumcised - there's other stuff to worry about.

Man 2: They usually find out because I tell them after the fact. They're pretty shocked because, unless I point it out, they don't really realize it on their own.

Man 3: Most don't know the difference. When you get hard, it pulls back usually anyway, if not, I do it myself. I once dated a girl and after two years she said how she hated uncircumcised penis and thought they were gross and was so happy I was cut....and she wasn't dumb by any means. If you take care of yourself it's not a big deal at all, and most women won't notice.
What's the best reaction you've ever gotten from a partner about being uncircumcised?
Man 1: I guess there have been a couple double takes here and there like - Oh, well this looks different - but at that point you're too enthralled to care.

Man 2: A girl asked me if she could play with it...and then proceeded to play with it for a few minutes like she'd never seen a penis before.

Man 3: [The woman who didn't know, mentioned above, was the best reaction] She had no idea I wasn't and was so embarrassed. She had a preconceived notion about them being gross and after two years, hadn't noticed I wasn't. It totally changed her opinion, obviously.
In the US, circumcision rates are declining, but it's still fairly prevalent. Given that most guys here are circumcised, have you ever had a partner react negatively or surprised?
Man 1: Never negatively, but surprised, yes.

Man 2: Every woman I've ever been with has been pretty surprised, but in a good way. There's like this sense of wonder that comes with knowing there's this new kind of penis out there that they've never seen before.

Man 3: Definitely surprised, as mentioned above. Besides her it has never been brought up once and I've never noticed even the slightest reaction or hesitation.
Have you ever considered adult circumcision?
Man 1: No way. Absolutely not.

Man 2: Absolutely not.

Man 3: No. If it ever caused a medical issue I would obviously consider it and take a doctor's recommendation. Besides that I see absolutely no reason to get it done.
If you have sons, would you want to circumcise them?
Man 1: No, they can make the decision if they want later in life. It just seems unnecessary.

Man 2: I'm up in the air about it. On one hand, I'd like to spare them the confusion of realizing that their penis looks different from other penises. I thought I was a freak the first time I watched porn and saw what another dude's dick looked like. On the other hand, I'd want it to be something they decide to do on their own. Also I've heard horror stories about botched circumcisions. I don't think I'd ever be able to forgive my parents if they decided to have me circumcised and I wound up with a raggedy-looking penis as a result.

Man 3: I would not have them circumcised.

What advice do you have for a woman who has started hooking up with an uncircumcised guy for the first time?

Man 1: Make sure they clean their junk and peel back the extra skin while doing so - seriously, it can get gross down there.

Man 2: Just don't freak out about it. You wouldn't like it if a guy got all weird after seeing your vagina, so don't do that to him after looking at his penis. Ask him to show you how it works, what's different about it, and then see if he lets you mess around with it. Seriously. Obviously every penis is unique, but an uncircumcised penis has additional features that need to be accounted for.

Man 3: If the guy takes care of himself there should be no issues whatsoever... You probably won't even notice. One thing I've noticed is sometimes a woman will pull back way too hard and it hurts... But that probably hurts circumcised guys too. If there are issues with cleanliness just get him to take better care of himself. I shouldn't have to say it but wash yourself! Tell him to pull it back when he pees, and if necessary clean with toilet paper after. You can even leave it pulled back most of the day.
What's a misconception that you want to clear up about being uncircumcised?
Man 1: I didn't realize there were misconceptions out there about being uncircumcised...time to see what the internet has to say...

Man 2: Being uncircumcised isn't what gives you a dirty dick. Poor hygiene is. As long as you're careful about washing it everyday you'll be alright.

Man 3: That it's gross and dirty. It would only be that way if the guy neglects hygiene in general.
What do you want Cosmo readers to know about dating someone who is uncircumcised?
Man 1: We are humans too! Honestly it's so, so, so insignificant to dating and relationships that it shouldn't be in the wheelhouse of making a yes or no decision to date someone.

Man 2: Be gentle with it. An uncircumcised penis is definitely more sensitive than a circumcised one. Don't pull too hard and go easy with the teeth.

Man 3: Don't be weirded out by it. When a guy is hard, it looks the exact same with the skin pulled back anyway. You would really never know. And if there are hygiene issues, it probably isn't only there. I'd take a look at how the guy takes care of the rest of himself too.
Follow Carina on Twitter.
Answers have been lightly edited for clarity.
This post was originally published in February 2017 and has been updated.

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3 Guys Get Real About Being Uncircumcised

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To cut, or not to cut? Although circumcision rates are declining in America, foreskin is still a hotly debated issue. Here, three anonymous men open up about what it's like to be uncircumcised. How old are you? Man 1: Twenty-six. Man 2: Twenty-nine. Man 3: Thirty-one. Were you born in the US?

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In a survey conducted by Sleep Cycle (a popular alarm clock app), 68% of over 1,000 respondents reported that sex helps them sleep better at night.

The National Sleep Foundation also backed up this finding, stating the hormones released during sex do, in fact, help you fall asleep.

Were you aware that the hormones released during sex could affect sleep?

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Sleep Cycle study: 68% of Americans say sex helps them sleep better.

For those who find themselves tossing and turning in the night, a recent study suggests that maybe it's time to try a different kind of tossing and turning.

Sleep Cycle, a popular alarm clock app that also monitors sleep habits, surveyed more than 1,000 of its users in the United States to discover what best helps them get in a good snooze.

The results? Sixty-eight percent of Americans said sex helps them sleep better.

Of those surveyed, 40 percent ranked sex as the No. 1 pre-sleep activity for a good night's sleep, followed by reading a book (33 percent) and listening to music (29 percent).

More: Woodling: Tips to help quiet your mind and get you to sleep

More: Lose weight while you sleep ... really

Although the Sleep Cycle study surveyed only a small percentage of its 3 million users worldwide, the notion was backed up by the National Sleep Foundation, which has published its own information on the topic. It's not just surveying, it's science.

"Yes, sex can actually make it easier to fall asleep. This is mostly because of the hormones that are released during the act," the National Sleep Foundation article states.

The foundation asserts that sex "boosts oxytocin, (a hormone that makes you feel connected to your partner) and lowers cortisol (a stress-related hormone)."

The article continues that having an orgasm releases the hormone "prolactin," which makes you drowsy.

"All of that leads up to a nice, drowsy state that's perfect for cuddling up and falling asleep," it states.

Conversely, sex drive is also determined by sleep, the article states, so the better the sleep, the better the libido.

More: Daddy Duty: Sleep where you want, just not my bed

More: Sleep study: Florida among worst places for a snooze

That being said, the couple who sleeps together, doesn't always, well, actually sleep together. The Sleep Cycle survey, which was conducted in January, also showed that more than half of Americans surveyed said that their partner's snoring wakes them up at night. Almost one-third of users said they sleep on the couch or in a separate room regularly.

Half of the respondents said if they aren't awoken by their special someone sawing logs, it's their partner's alarm clock that does the trick. However, 79 percent of those surveyed said the alarm clock doesn't bother them.

More: Follow these tips for a healthy heart

"Our data show that Americans really value their sleep and that snoring continues to be a big issue in relationships," said Carl Johan Hederoth, CEO of Northcube, the creators of Sleep Cycle. "It also shows that on Valentine's Day and every day, couples should make romance a priority to help ensure a good night's sleep."

The study also examined sleep preferences such as temperature, darkness and sound.

Those findings include:

46 percent said they agree with their partner on the temperature of the room.

39 percent agree with their partner on the darkness in the room.

31 percent agree on the level of sound in the room.

Saggio is trends reporter at FLORIDA TODAY.
Contact Saggio at 321-242-3664 or jsaggio@floridatoday.com. Twitter: @jessicajsaggio
Read or Share this story: http://on.flatoday.com/2nYhAXY

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Just do it? Study says have sex if you need better sleep

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Sleep Cycle study: 68% of Americans say sex helps them sleep better. For those who find themselves tossing and turning in the night, a recent study suggests that maybe it's time to try a different kind of tossing and turning.

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Post #4: Choosing Your Unborn Baby's Gender

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Post #4: Choosing Your Unborn Baby's Gender

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This article discusses the options available when it comes to "selecting" your unborn child's gender.

Preimplantation genetic diagnosis (PGD) allows for the embryos of a certain gender to be discarded before implantation and sperm separation allows for the separation of the X-chromosome and Y-chromosome sperms from each other.

Do you think that these practices are ethical? Given the opportunity, would you select your child's gender?

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"Family Balancing": Should We Tinker With Nature?

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"Whoa, three girls? Now you have to try for a boy." Do I?

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"Sex. It’s what got you into pregnancy, but is it also the pathway to getting you out?"

More than 3/4 of pregnant women are aware of the myth that "sex brings on labor," and nearly half of women believe it to be true. This article discusses that while there are biologically plausible reasons that having sex could bring on labor, there has been very little scientific evidence of it actually being true.

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Sex. It's what got you into pregnancy, but is it also the pathway to getting you out?

Every year, one in five labours are medically induced in the UK, and induction is offered to all women who don't go into labour naturally by 42 weeks. Induction is not without its risks and discomfort, and it is understandable that women may look to some alternate method of inducing labour.

One American study reported that half of women who reach their due dates attempt to initiate labour through a variety of non-medical techniques. There is a proliferation of DIY methods to induce labour that can be found online, and one of the most common recommendations is to have sex. But does sex initiate labour?

There are biologically plausible reasons why having sex at term may help to speed the arrival of a baby. First, semen is a natural source of prostaglandins, which are used in synthetic form to encourage cervical ripening in preparation for labour. Second, sex plus or minus orgasm has been found to increase uterine activity, and nipple stimulation is also thought to stimulate the uterus to induce labour.

But despite the biological plausibility and popularity in the community, there has been very little scientific evidence so far to support sex as a method of inducing labour.

One study found that sexual intercourse at term was associated with earlier onset of labour. However, when the researchers repeated this study, they found the reverse: women who reported having sex at term were actually less likely to go into spontaneous labour than women who abstained.

A US study confirmed these results and also found no significant cervical changes for women who were sexually active at term compared with those who were not, disputing the cervical ripening hypothesis.

So if there is no scientific evidence to support this method of labour induction, why are more than three quarters of pregnant women aware of this myth and why do almost half of all women believe it?

Well, the thing about being 40 weeks' pregnant, is that sex or no sex, you are likely to go into spontaneous labour at any moment. So it's very easy to mistakenly identify sex as the cause when, in fact, it may be completely irrelevant. Psychological research has shown that once something has happened to us, we are more likely to believe that it is universally true, hence the proliferation of testimonials for this being the cause of labour.

It's also a difficult thing to assess, as sexual activity is hard to uniformly define. Breast stimulation, for example, may or may not be part of sexual activity, and the role of prostaglandins from semen will depend on condom use, volume of ejaculate, and concentration of prostaglandin within the ejaculate.

There are reasons why some women may avoid sex at term, not the least of which is the necessary gymnastic skill. Women who are experiencing abdominal discomfort, mild contractions, or pelvic pressure may be less likely to extend a "come hither" look to their partner, and these symptoms may also indicate labour is imminent. Hence the findings that those who abstain from sex at term are more likely to go into spontaneous labour.

In terms of other labour induction myths, there is also no evidence to suggest that eating spicy food at term can speed the arrival of your baby.

The same goes for castor oil, which is more likely to have you running for the toilet than the delivery suite.

Some Native American tribes reportedly believe that a fright can induce labour, and other cultures believe that starving the mother in the last week of pregnancy will encourage the baby to emerge in search of a feed. Aside from the lack of scientific evidence, frightening or starving the baby out really doesn't seem like the kindest way to welcome your bundle of joy to the world.

So it would appear that, in the tradition of the online Chinese baby gender predictor that is right 50% of the time, having sex at term may indeed induce labour, or equally likely, it may not.

Toey even though you can't see your toes? Unless you have a high-risk pregnancy and have been advised to abstain, there is no harm done from sex, curry or both.
Monique Robinson is an Associate Principal Investigator, Telethon Institute for Child Health Research at University of Western Australia This article was originally published on The Conversation. Read theoriginal article.
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Sex. It's what got you into pregnancy, but is it also the pathway to getting you out? Every year, one in five labours are medically induced in the UK, and induction is offered to all women who don't go into labour naturally by 42 weeks.

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Post #2: Talking to Kids About Sexual Abuse

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Post #2: Talking to Kids About Sexual Abuse

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"We talk to our children about safety all the time -- we cover stranger danger, pool safety, how to cross the street, and the list goes on, but when it comes to body safety, we go silent"

In this article, Jill Starishevsky, author of the book "My Body Belongs to Me" discusses the importance of talking to children about sexual abuse.

Do you think that children should be taught about sexual abuse at a young age? If so, how young is too young?

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Jill Starishevsky, a New York City assistant district attorney in the child abuse andsex crimes bureau and author of the book "My Body Belongs to Me," shared a story about an upper-middle-class New York family, a story that still gives me chills two years after I first heard it.

A mom goes shopping, leaving her 11-year-old daughter and 9-year-old son home. The daughter is miserable and moping around the house so much that her brother asks her, "What's your problem? Why are you so sad all the time?" said Starishevsky. He then says something like, "It's not like Grandpa ... is boinking you."

At that moment, the 11-year-old realizes that her grandfather, her mother's father, is doing to her brother what he has been doing to her for the past three years. The children decide they need to tell their mother when she gets home.

She cries and cries. She hugs them and then cries some more.

"And when she stops crying, she says, 'I'm so sorry. I thought he would stop,' " said Starishevsky.

I couldn't believe it either when I first heard it. Her father had sexually abused her when she was younger and she never told anyone about it. Now he was doing the same thing to her children.

Realizing she couldn't be silent any longer, she called a family meeting to finally tell her two brothers and her two sisters what had happened to her and what was happening to her children.

When Starishevsky tells the story to an audience, this is the moment where she asks, "Does anyone know how this story ends?"

I couldn't imagine what was to come.

The two brothers and two sisters reveal they, too, were sexually abused by their father when they were younger, and no one told anyone. "No one knew," said Starishevsky.

When I first heard that story, it was impossible to comprehend how no one in that family told another sibling, friend, parent or teacher about what was happening to them. But after listening to Starishevsky, it's easy to see why.

Manyof usaren't talking to our children about sexual abuse, even when the statistics make it crystal clear why we should be: As many as one in four girls and one in six boys is sexually abused before their 18th birthday, according to research by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

We talk to our children about safety all the time -- we cover stranger danger, pool safety, how to cross the street and the list goes on, but when it comes to body safety, we go silent.

"We all know that it should be taught. We all think it's scary ofwhat could happen to our child, but most parents, most good parents, don't know how to have the discussion, so they just ignore it."

A book is born

When Starishevsky's first child turned 3, she knew she needed to have the conversation but didn't know how. "I was a little embarrassed because I was a sex crimes prosecutor and I didn't know what to say."

She looked online and went to the library, but couldn't find any book appropriate for a toddler. So she waited for her daughter's 3-year check-up and asked her doctor what to say and how to say it.

Why, she wondered, wasn't information available on his website, she asked.

"My doctor shrugged his shoulders and he's like, 'Taboo, no one can talk about it.'"

That night, she went home and wrote a poem for her daughter, emphasizing that the little girl's body is private and that if someone touches her private parts, she should tell her mommy or daddy or a teacher right away.

When she read it to her husband, he said, "That's not a poem. It's a book. You need to write it."

So, in between prosecuting sex crimes and mothering her three children, Starishevsky wrote a straightforward book targeting 3- to 8-year-olds with rhymes and simple illustrations. Getting a publisher turned out to be easier than expected, but there was one problem.

In the book, Starishevsky doesn't just allude to the abuse. She includes it.

"My uncle's friend came over and sat down next to me, and touched me in that place that no one else can see," she writes, with illustrations of a fully clothed child sitting near the uncle's friend, who is also fully clothed. You don't see the abuse but it's clear it just happened.

The publisher wanted that line to come out, according to Starishevsky. "They said, 'Well we don't think parents would like the book with the line in. You have to take it out. Allude to it but you can't actually say it.' "

Starishevsky refused and the publisher backed out, so she self-published the book in 2009, and eventually got the attention of Oprah Winfrey's television producers. She appeared in a segment on "The Oprah Winfrey Show" in 2011.

Three years later, she landed a publisher, Free Spirit Publishing, which is publishing the book, with updated illustrations, in May. The hope, Starishevsky said, is that through Free Spirit, the book can be provided on a larger scale to schools and advocacy organizations, and may ultimately be published in different languages.

The book also inspired Michael Solomon, a New York father of two and co-founder of companies that manage the careers of musicians, producers and tech professionals, to self-fund a video verson of Starishevsky's "My Body Belongs to Me."

The video, which has been viewed more than 110,000 times on YouTube, is also available in Spanish, French and Swedish, with plans to add more languages when possible.

The goal, said Solomon, is "ultimately giving parents and educators an opportunity to inform kids for free anywhere, anytime."

How to have the conversation

One of the biggest reasons why parents don't talk to their children about sexual abuse, Starishevsky said, is because they're afraid they're going to scare their children.

"I think that fear comes from not knowing what the conversation's about," she said, adding that it isn't about sex or explaining in graphic detail what someone might do to a child.

"It's about, 'This is your body,'" she said. It's important to teach children which parts of their body are private and that if someone else does see or touch them, the child should tell a trusted adult.

"It's really just an empowering conversation," she added.

It can't happen to my kids

When she was writing her book, she passed it around to friends, colleagues, even judges to get their input. One of the people who read it was her husband's friend, who is a lawyer.

He told her it was a great book and that it would help a lot of children but that he would never read it to his then 6- and 8-year-old sons.

"This is never going to happen to my kids so I don't need to read it to them," he told her.

"Parents have these blinders on, thinking it can't happen in my neighborhood, and unfortunately it can. It happens anywhere."

Too many parents also think strangers are the biggest threat to their children, and so if they teach their kids about stranger danger, they're protected. But 93% of the time in sexual abuse cases, the perpetrator is not a stranger but someone the child knows, according to the Rape and Abuse Crisis Center.

"It's someone you are trusting your child with, whether that's the coach or the babysitter or mom's boyfriend ... so having the stranger danger conversation isn't going to teach the child the skills they need to know."

No secrets and no forced hugs

Starishevsky's "aha" moment as a prosecutor came when she talked to victims and learned there was one reason why children never told anyone about abuse that came up fairly consistently: "He said it was our secret."

To counter that, Starishevsky recommends banning secrets altogether, telling your children that your family doesn't believe in secrets, and encouraging your children to tell you if anyone asks them to keep a secret.

Parents should also never force children to be demonstrative in their affection. Don't force your kids to give hugs, she said. "If we don't teach our children that it's OK for them to say no ... then they don't know that they can do that."

Arming our children with the right words and empowering them to use those words is a way to try to prevent the abuse from happening in the first place, said Starishevsky.

Ever since my girls, now ages 6 and 8, were old enough to understand they have private parts, I've been talking to them about their bodies, although I realized after listening to Starishevsky two years ago, I wasn't talking to my children enough.

So since then, I bring up the topic fairly regularly, especially before a sleepover or the start of a new sports program or other after school activity.

We've had the conversation so much that my older daughter cuts me off before I finish with, "Yeah mom, we know."

Every time Starishevsky hears a story like mine or gets an e-mail from readers who plan to talk to their kids about sexual abuse, she is over the moon.

"Oh my god, that's all I want ... that parents get that this is an issue they need to start addressing."

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how to talk to kids about sexual abuse - cnn

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It was a typical PTA meeting at my daughters' elementary school with talk of budgets, fundraisers and the upcoming school calendar, until a guest speaker stood up to talk, shattering the banality of the meeting with a story no parent wants to hear.

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This article discusses how gender reveal parties focus on the gender instead of the sex of the child. These parties are often filled with gender stereotypes (such as pink for girls and blue for boys) when in reality, not all boys like the color blue and not all girls like the color pink.

What is your opinion about gender reveal parties? Would you choose to have one?

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"Touchdowns or Tutus?" "Baseballs or Baby Dolls?" If you're invited to one of today's über-popular gender reveal parties, you might see such a question written in icing atop a fancy cake. Not until the cake is cut into and its color - pink or blue - revealed, is the sex of the hosts' baby-to-be proclaimed to the world. Sounds like a fun idea. But there can be a downside to gender reveal parties, as co-hosts Emilie Aries and Bridget Todd discuss in a recent episode of the podcast Stuff Your Mom Never Told You.

Gender reveal parties were birthed about a decade ago. With ultrasounds routine for expectant parents, and social media encouraging people to publicize every aspect of their lives, pregnant couples began inviting friends and family to gatherings where they would unveil the sex of their unborn child, then post or tweet the news to the world.

Initially, the celebrations were simple affairs. Couples would simply announce the baby's gender. Over time, people got more creative. Today it's common for parents to reveal their baby's sex by opening a box filled with pink or blue helium balloons, or by cutting into a cake appropriately colored on the inside. But reveals run the gamut. One pregnant couple smashed open a confetti-filled piñata to unveil the sex of their child; another had guests open "powder bombs" that spewed pink or blue powder into the air.

Sometimes, parents want to be surprised along with their party guests. So they have their medical professional seal the ultrasound results in an envelope that is delivered directly to a baker or other party professional, who prepares the reveal for them as well as their guests.

So What's the Problem?

What's wrong with such innocuous-seeming festivities? Experts say it's the parties' focus on the child's gender versus its sex. A physician or an ultrasound can't tell you a child's gender, only its sex. For children determine their own gender at some point after they're born. Sex, on the other hand, is simply whether a baby has a penis or a vagina. (Although even proclaiming a sex can be iffy, as some children are born " intersex," with reproductive or sexual anatomy that doesn't match the norm.)

But even if these parties were instead called sex reveal parties, that wouldn't necessarily solve the problem. Because the celebrations are heavily imbued with stereotypes, a la the pink and blue colors, and the "touchdowns or tutus" cake inscriptions. Even if you have a child born with a penis who identifies as male, he might love the ballet, hate sports and prefer to wear pink pants. Your straight vaginally endowed daughter might end up being a cop who eschews frilly, feminine attire and watches football every weekend.

"[Gender reveal parties] make it very clear that what you are is what's in between your legs, and that's all there is to it," says Bridget. "And we know that's not true."

If you're pondering such a party, then, focus on celebrating the pending birth of a human being. No preconceived notions or stereotypes allowed.

To learn more about this growing trend, listen to the entire podcast, " What Gender Reveal Parties Reveal About Us" from Stuff Mom Never Told You.

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What's Wrong with Gender Reveal Parties?

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"Touchdowns or Tutus?" "Baseballs or Baby Dolls?" If you're invited to one of today's über-popular gender reveal parties, you might see such a question written in icing atop a fancy cake. Not until the cake is cut into and its color - pink or blue - revealed, is the sex of the hosts' baby-to-be proclaimed to the world.