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Strong Sentence:

"He kissed those enticing lips—they could not kiss him back; he caressed her hands, her face—they were unresponsive; he took her in his arms—she remained a cold and passive form."

Techniques:

Asyndeton (the dashes, commas, and semicolons are used in place of connecting words and help create a tone of desperation by placing everything desperate Pygmalion tries to do to the statue in one sentence without transitions or connections between each phrase/clause)

Anaphora (the repetition of "he" at the start of each clause help convey the meaning that Pygmalion is the active player in this myth)

Juxtaposition (the contrast between Pygmalion's desperate actions and the statue's passive lack of response is developed with contrasting words/phrases like "kissed" and "could not kiss")

Word Choice:

"enticing" implies Pygmalion sees the statue not as a real woman but as an object to be desired ("enticing" is usually used to describe objects, like food, i.e., "the enticingly purple grape")

"cold" implies the statue is both physically and emotionally cold (like an ice queen) despite Pygmalion's desperate advances

Weak Sentence:

"Either he could not dismiss what he so disapproved of from his mind as easily as from his life, or else he was bent on forming a perfect woman and showing men the deficiencies of the kind they had to put up with."

Why it is weak:

The word choice isn't as strong as in the rest of the myth. It isn't super clear what Hamilton is trying to say. The ideas all flow together mushily, making it feel like a run-on sentence even though it is properly punctuated.

Rewrite:

Questions about Pygmalion's motives for forming the quintessentially statuesque woman persist. Perhaps his hatred for women in his real life failed to dampen his predilection for idealizing the female form. Or perhaps he hoped to illustrate, for all mankind, the imperfections in women he felt all men were forced to endure.

# data[].attributes.body
Strong Sentence:

Quote

Techniques:

Word Choice:

Weak Sentence:

Quote

Why it is weak:

Rewrite:

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Strong Sentence:

Quote
"He made a great evil for men, a sweet and lovely thing to look upon, in the likeness of a shy maiden, and all the gods gave her gifts, silvery raiment and a broidered veil, a wonder to behold, and bright garlands of blooming flowers and a crown of gold- great beauty shone out from it.

Techniques:

Parallel Structure

Dashes

Asyndeton

Loose sentence

Word Choice:

"Wonder to behold"

"Great Beauty"

"Bright/Blooming"

"Great evil"

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Strong Sentence:

"

Techniques:

Word Choice:

Weak Sentence:

"A gifted young sculptor of Cyprus, named Pygmalion, was a woman-hater."

Why it is weak:

woman-hater is not that strong of word choice, neither is gifted. There's not a lot to this sentence and it's pretty boring and doesn't flow very well.

Rewrite:

Pygmalion was a brilliant sculptor who once lived on the island of Cyprus. Pygmalion was a misogynist because it was hopeless to find his perfect woman.

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Weak Sentence: "Venus was interested in something that seldom came her way, a new kind of lover, and she determined to help a young man who could be enamored and yet original"

Why it is weak:

This sentence is weak because it does not show much in terms of characterization or plot line and is overall not extremely important to the myth as a whole and it does not command attention with literary devices or word choice.

Rewrite: Venus observed Pygmalion and came to realize her lack of love which was a rarity for her, she contemplated this thought and concluded that she would help this young man in desperate need of the same goal for which she longed.

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Strong Sentence:

But he was not a child; he could not keep on pretending.

Techniques:

Repetition ("he was not... he could not" repeating he and not for the effect of emphasizing his sorrow and remorse)

Asyndeton (the use of a semicolon prevents the use of a conjunction)

Word Choice:

Child and pretending are very similar and go hand in hand because children pretend as they have active imaginations. The use of these words make Pygmalion feel childish and brings a negative view upon him

The sentence evokes a lot of strong emotion and you can feel the remorse and sadness Pygmalion was feeling in this situation.

The use of "but" infers a negative contrast.

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Strong Sentence:

One day she lifted the lid—and out flew plagues innumerable, sorrow and mischief for mankind.

Techniques:

Consonance - "Lifted the lid". The "l'" sound is repeated in both words.

Loose sentence - "One day she lifted the lid" Complete thought at the beginning of the sentence.

Dashes "...the lid - and out flew..."

Word Choice:

Innumerable: too many to be counted

This shows that she released many bad things into the world (dumb Pandora)

Plagues: devastating disease

Show a type of the evil that was released.

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Strong Sentence: "Prometheus, whose name means forethought, was very wise, wiser even than the gods, but Epimetheus, which means afterthought, was a scatterbrained person who invariably followed his first impulse and then changed his mind."
Techniques:
-Repetition
-Anaphora
-Chiasmus
-Consonance
-Polyptoton
Word Choice:
-scatterbrained
-afterthought
-invariably

Weaker Sentence: "It was time for men to be created."
This sentence could use better word choice and be more descriptive.
Rewrite: The time had come for men to make their appearance and bad or good they would have a lasting impression.

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When nothing could be added to its perfections, a strange fate had befallen its creator: he had fallen in love, deeply, passionately in love, with the thing he had made.

Periodic sentence- the point of the sentence is not clearly depicted until the end adding suspense to the section.

Asyndeton- use of commas removes the need for FANBOYS therefore no FANBOYS were used.

Assonance- the repetition of the O sound (Perfection, befallen, passion, love)

Word choice:
Fallen and Deeply: use of these words show how low his standards have fallen when choosing women. It creates a darker tone as the word deep is usually connected with dark and unknown

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Strong Sentence:

Quote - "Prometheus, whose name means forethought, was very wise, wiser even than the gods, but Epimetheus, which means afterthought, was a scatterbrained person who invariably followed his first impulse and then changed his mind.

Techniques:

Polyptoton - "...was very wise, wiser even than the gods..."

Parallel Structure - "...whose name means forethought..." and "...which means afterthought..."

Consonance - all throughout the quote with their names.

Asyndeton - commons are used, you never see any conjunctions though.

Juxtaposition - comparing Prometheus and Epimetheus.

Word Choice:

"forethought"

"afterthought"

"scatterbrained"

"invariably"

Weak Sentence:

Quote

Why it is weak:

Rewrite:

# data[].attributes.body
Strong Sentence:

One day she lifted the lid—and out flew plagues innumerable, sorrow and mischief for mankind.

Techniques:

dashes, consonance, asyndeton, simple sentence

Word Choice:

plagues, inumerable, sorrow, mischeif

Weak Sentence:

He would dress her in rich robes, trying the effect of one delicate or glowing color after another, and imagine she was pleased.

Why it is weak:

word choice could be stronger, could add more details on how, doesn't show exactly why he's doing that and what he does.

Rewrite:

He would overwhelm her with the richest of clothes, robes and rings; trying to effect of one magnificent, vibrant and glowing colors, he wanted to please her, the statue could not be pleased.

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Strong Sentence: He fashioned them in a nobler shape than the animals, upright like the gods; and then he went to heaven, to the sun, where he lit a torch and brought down fire, a protection to men far better than anything else, whether fur or feathers or strength or swiftness.
Techniques:
Polysyndeton: the word or is used a lot
Consonance: The words fur, feathers, strength, swiftness
Periodic Sentence: the main point is at the end

# data[].attributes.body
Strong Sentence:

Quote: "and then he went to heaven , to the sun , here he lit a torch and brought down fire, a protection to men far better than anything else, "

Techniques:

Word Choice:

Weak Sentence:

Quote

Why it is weak:

Rewrite:

# data[].attributes.body
Strong Sentence:
"He made a great evil for men, a sweet and lovely thing to look upon, in the likeness of a shy maiden, and all the gods gave her gifts, silvery raiment and broidered veil, a wonder to behold, and bright garlands of blooming flowers and a crown of gold- great beauty shown out from it."
Techniques: Polysyndeton (i found 5 "ands",  consanance ("Gods gave her gifts" g,g,g),  dashes( in between "gold" and "great"), loose sentence (" he made a great evil for men", is the main point. )

# data[].attributes.headline
Laney Brazzell, Emma Call, McKenna Fitzgerald

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Laney Brazzell, Emma Call, McKenna Fitzgerald

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Strong Sentence:

"He put her to bed at night, and tucked her in all soft and warm, as little girls do their dolls. But he was not a child; he could not keep on pretending. In the end he gave up. He loved a lifeless thing and he was utterly and hopelessly wretched."

Techniques:

Repetition

Simple Sentences

Loose Sentences

Polysyndeton

Word Choice:

he is repeated throughout
there is only a subject and predicate
details follow after

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Strong Sentence:
"Before making men he gave all the best gifts to the animals, strength and swiftness and courage and shrewd cunning, fur and feathers and wings and shells and the like—until no good was left for men, no protective covering and no quality to make them a match for the beasts."

Techniques:

Consonance (The words strength, swiftness, and shrewd all have the repeating "S" sound).

Polysyndeton (Repeats the word "and" when not necessary).

Dashes (Dashes occur in the text: "like—until" to emphasize the differences between animals and men).

Parallel Structure (The sections describing the different qualities that the animals received)

Periodic sentence (maybe)

Word Choice:

# data[].attributes.body
Strong Sentence:
Before making men he gave all the best gifts to the animals, strength and swiftness and courage and shrewd cunning, fur and feathers and wings and shells and the like - until no good was left for men, no protective covering and no quality to make them a match for the beasts. Polysyndeton, loose sentence, dashes, parallel structure