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Improving conversations with parents about behavior

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Improving conversations with parents about behavior

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Parent involvement raises student achievement, much-publicized research says, but there is less attention on enlisting families to diminish aggravating and time-gobbling behavior problems. Yet some experts believe that's where there might be a big payoff - and a key ingredient is teacher communications home.

Teachers frustrated by off-task behavior that can stifle learning for a whole class will find involved parents can help, according to a study at the University of Pittsburgh. Research also shows regular calls home decrease behavior corrections by 25 percent. But communicating specifically about behavior issues requires a mixture of empathy, creativity and patience-and, perhaps, abandoning a commonly held belief that irresponsible or misguided parents just aren't doing their job. "When you realize that parents and teachers all want the best for kids, there must be some common ground," says Meghan McCormick, a researcher at New York University looking at parent involvement in schools. Her recent study showed that teachers providing "emotional support" to students were more likely to find that parents helped improve student behavior. Teachers should recognize that parents can be a valuable ally on this front, she says.

Natalie Schwartz, author of a book detailing teacher concerns ( The Teacher Chronicles: Confronting the Demands of Students, Parents, Administrators and Society), found that teachers think parent communication is the hardest part of their job. However, she also thinks teachers need to have the right mindset and use parent relations to make their job easier and students more successful. "They have the same goal - they both want the student to do well," she says. "A teacher can find ways to use that resource to help students and make their own job easier." A survey of about 1,000 teachers found that 83 percent wanted increased parent involvement while 72 percent of parents wanted better connections, according to another study. But it isn't easy. In a detailed 2011 report, researchers found a "gap between rhetoric and reality" when it comes to parental involvement, noting that there are a number of difficult barriers-from new economic and cultural patterns to troublesome family issues.

So here are 10 ways teachers can improve communications with parents over behavior issues.

1) Start early. "Cultivate positive relationships with parents from the beginning of the school year," says Schwartz, inviting their involvement and gathering information about students. A simple form at the start of the year when everyone is energized can ask, "Tell me five things I should know about your child that will help me work with him or her this year". Develop a relationship with parents of students who you know may be difficult, but with a positive approach.

2) Set it up. Clearly establish and communicate (to students and parents) expectations about classroom behavior. Consider having both sign a behavior contract that requires them to discuss it at home and spells out what you expect and when you'll involve parents. It can make clear with everyone what the expectations are, reinforce with students that the issues are important, and put on record the plan so that if concerns arise later there isn't confusion or disputes.

3) In their shoes. McCormick says parents-especially those with students showing significant behavior problems-may have a complex relationship with education. They may have found school challenging themselves, for instance, or had difficulty before in their own relationships with teachers, with their other children or with this child. They also may have what she calls a "cognitive overload" and be stressed by limited resources or other issues-embarrassed, frustrated by their children too, or defensive (no one wants to hear their child is a concern). Empathize with the parent and student. "Once we become familiar with parents, our view of them often changes dramatically," says Todd Whitaker, author of the book Dealing with Difficult Parents.

4) The right tone. Even if you struggle to spot positive behavior with a student, McCormick says there are ways to let a parent know you are looking for good moments, which will make calls about behavior more productive. "Jason had a good day today," can be reported even if there was just slight change. (The parent is likely to pass that along to the student or reward them which may improve behavior.) Set a goal of communicating three positive comments each week to parents whose children don't generally receive them.

5) Form a team. "The purpose in contacting home is not to complain about the student and drop the problem in the parent's lap. Enlist their help in supporting the student and resolving the issue," says Schwartz. Make it clear you all need to work together-but that responsibility lies with the student.

6) Grit your teeth. As certainly as you'll have a difficult child in your class, you'll have a difficult parent, and researchers say you have little to gain by contributing to the conflict. The issue may color a busy administrator's opinion of you if it ends up in their lap, or increase problems (an angry parent can provide justification for a student's misbehavior). Try diligently to understand their concerns, remind the parent of your position and consider a "fresh start". Consult other teachers, document interactions, inform the administration and consider requesting a parent conference. But be frank. Explain the problem and how you are handling it and avoid emotions and advice.

7) A team meeting. Parent meetings can allow others who have had similar problems to contribute and benefit. But have a clear agenda with time limits, then briefly review the challenges and focus on a path forward, prepared with classroom interventions or behavior intervention plans that give everyone (including the student and parent) a role. Have a schedule for next steps and a follow-up meeting too-a key often missed.

8) Or less formally. Home visits, are sometimes impractical but show interest and provide a better understanding of a student's life, McCormick says. Plan for and fully utilize school-sponsored parent conferences, but also hold them yourself with a parent or small group (perhaps those whose students are misbehaving so it's clear you're not singling out anyone). Find out when it's convenient for parents to meet; it might be after school hours, especially for struggling parents.

9) Consider technology. Some parents are easier to reach via social media, but obviously platforms like Facebook should be used carefully, says McCormick. Skype and Google have translation functions if language is a barrier. Email or text messages can circulate a student behavior contract to parents and others or get a message to a parent quickly.

10) Get more information. For you or your school. McCormick's research has shown that most teachers don't spend time on parent communications in college or in staff development, despite the fact that it pays off and is a critical part of their job. The national PTA has some good tips about parent-teacher communications, and the National Education Association has several articles on the topic, including one about "Getting a Derailed Parent-Teacher Relationship Back on Track." The Texas Education Association has also developed this extensive training manual that has professional development resources about parent communications and Teaching Tolerance has some good professional development tools on its page for parent engagement.
Written by Jim Paterson

Jim Paterson has been a newspaper and magazine editor and an award-winning writer for The Washington Post, USA Today Weekend, the Christian Science Monitor, Parents magazine, and a number of national and regional publications. During a break from writing he worked as a school counselor for seven years and quickly became head of a counseling department and "Counselor of the Year" in Montgomery County, Md. He now writes about education primarily. More about Jim at www.otherperplexity.com.

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Ten Ways to Improve Communications with Parents About Their Child's Behavior

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Parent involvement raises student achievement, much-publicized research says, but there is less attention on enlisting families to diminish aggravating and time-gobbling behavior problems. Yet some experts believe that's where there might be a big payoff - and a key ingredient is teacher communications home.

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Scholastic FACE - Family and Community Engagement

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FACE programs and resources are designed to provide educators, parents, and community leaders the research-based solutions they need to help all children succeed inside and outside of the classroom. Expert implementation support and professional development services are available to help with instructional strategies and sustain improvement.

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One of the most important things your child can do to achieve academic success is also one of the most basic: going to school every day. In fact, research has shown that your child's attendance record may be the biggest factor influencing her academic success.

Benefits of daily attendance

By attending class regularly, your child is more likely to keep up with the daily lessons and assignments, and take quizzes and tests on time.

There are other benefits as well:

Achievement: San Diego Unified School District found that students who attended school regularly were more likely to pass reading and math assessments than students who didn't attend school regularly.

Opportunity: For older students, being in school every day gives them a chance to learn more about college and scholarship opportunities, and to take the important exams they need to build a successful academic record.

Exposure to the English language: Regular school attendance can also help students who are learning English by giving them the chance to master the skills and information they need more quickly and accurately - even in other subjects!

Being part of the school community: Just by being present at school, your child is learning how to be a good citizen by participating in the school community, learning valuable social skills, and developing a broader world view.

The importance of education: Your commitment to school attendance will also send a message to your child that education is a priority for your family, going to school every day is a critical part of educational success, and that it's important to take your responsibilities seriously - including going to school.

When your child misses school

So what happens when your child needs to miss school due to a medical appointment or family trip? Sometimes these situations can't be avoided. In such cases:

Contact the school immediately. The absence needs to be excused, and talk with your child's teacher to make sure your child doesn't fall behind on any of the lessons that she missed.

Judge these situations carefully. Mandatory student attendance is a policy that schools take seriously. Unexcused absences will go on a student's permanent record; the consequences of your child missing class can include falling behind on lessons, lower participation grades, and poorer performance on quizzes and tests.

Keep in mind that public schools lose money when their students are absent. Public schools receive money based on the number of students who attend each day. When a student misses just one day of school, the school loses money - imagine how much a school loses when many students miss many days throughout the year.

What you can do

As a parent or guardian, it is possible to plan ahead in order to limit your child's absences, make school attendance a priority, and help your child from falling behind if it is necessary to miss a day of school. You can do this in the following ways:

Help your child get to school on time every day. Babysitting, problems with a car or late bus, and the weather are not permissible reasons to miss school. Frequently coming to school late may also be noted on your child's permanent record, and will make it difficult for your child to stay caught up with the first lessons of each morning. Teach your child how to set and use an alarm clock, and keep the television turned off in the morning.

Follow the school's guidelines and attendance policy, and report excused absences immediately. At the beginning of the school year, review the school's rules and make sure you understand whom you need to call if your child is going to be absent.

Check homework. Check each night to see that your child understands and completes the day's homework assignments.

Take an active role. Stay involved with your child's daily experiences at school by asking how the school day went, and then listening carefully to what your child shares with you - both the successes and struggles. Make it a point to meet your child's teacher and friends.

Locate potential sources of anxiety. If your child frequently appears upset or reluctant to go to school and cannot tell you why, schedule an appointment with his or her teacher or school counselor to talk about possible sources of the anxiety.

Keep updated on school events and announcements. Read the school documents that your child brings home and take note of important announcements and dates, such as back-to-school night and parent-teacher conferences.

Try to limit the amount of time that your child misses school due to medical appointments or illness. If possible, avoid scheduling doctor's appointments during the school day. Allow your child to stay home only in the case of contagious or severe illnesses.

Schedule family events with your child's school schedule in mind. Plan holiday celebrations or family trips during weekends or school vacations. In the case of family emergencies or unexpected trips, talk to your child's teacher as far in advance as possible and set up a way that your child can work ahead or bring important homework on the trip.

Plan ahead. Encourage your child to prepare for the next school day by laying out clothes the night before and helping to fix lunches.

Promote good health. Make sure that your child eats a balanced diet with plenty of fruits and vegetables, and has opportunities to exercise every day through a sports team or playtime outside.

Create a restful environment. Finally, make sure that your child can relax before bedtime by doing something quiet like reading rather than do something stimulating, like watching television. Ensure that your child gets enough quality sleep - ideal amounts range from 8 to 12 hours. Getting enough sleep will help her get up on time, be refreshed in the morning, and feel ready for a full day of learning ahead!

By making your child's school attendance a priority, you will be taking an important step in supporting your child's school success, and setting a good example. Remember - every day counts!

Note: This information was adapted from information on San Diego Unified School's District "Every Day Counts!" attendance website in 2008.

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One of the most important things your child can do to achieve academic success is also one of the most basic: going to school every day. In fact, research has shown that your child's attendance record may be the biggest factor influencing her academic success.

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Schools & Families: An Important Partnership

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Schools & Families: An Important Partnership

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In the U.S., schools and families work together closely to help children succeed. For example, you can contact your child's teacher if you have questions, or you may be invited to events at the school. These resources describe how you can build a relationship with your child's school.

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Schools and Families: An Important Partnership

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In the U.S., schools and families work together closely to help children succeed. For example, you can contact your child's teacher if you have questions, or you may be invited to events at the school. These resources describe how you can build a relationship with your child's school.

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WHY CHRONIC ABSENCE MATTERS

LEARN HOW YOU CAN TAKE ACTION

WHAT WORKS TO REDUCE CHRONIC ABSENCE

How is your state handling chronic absence under ESSA?

AL AK AZ AR CA CO CT DE FL GA HI ID IL IN IA KS KY LA ME MD MA MI MN MS MO MT NE NV NH NJ NM NY NC ND OH OK OR PA RI SC SD TN TX UT VT VA WA WV WI WY DC

NATIONWIDE

8 Million

Students were Chronically Absent in 2015-2016

"Attendance Works has been an indispensable thought partner with Connecticut as we build state agency capacity, develop resources and implement statewide strategies to improve attendance."

Charlene Russell-Tucker

Chief Operating Officer for the Connecticut State Department of Education

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How is your state handling chronic absence under ESSA?

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Fun Ways to Involve Families in their Child’s Learning

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Fun Ways to Involve Families in their Child’s Learning

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Early connections lasts a lifetime

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Ages zero to three are the most important for lifelong mental health and well-being.

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Project Appleseed Parental Involvement in Public Schools

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Project Appleseed Parental Involvement in Public Schools

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Project Appleseed engages parental involvement in public schools. We provide resources for families who want to be engaged in their children's education.

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Children and Digital Media: Rethinking
Parent Roles 

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Children and Digital Media: Rethinking
Parent Roles 

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http://www.readingrockets.org/pdfs/edextras/57275-en.pdf
Los niños y los medios digitales: Repensar el papel de los padres
español
http://www.readingrockets.org/pdfs/edextras/57275-es.pdf

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THIS WOULD BE SO AWESOME TO DO!