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Did you hear about the fellow who got his left side cut off?
He was all right then.

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Why did the student eat his homework? Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake

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What do you call a guy with a rubber toe?

Roberto

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Why can't your nose be 12 inches?

Because then it would be a foot.

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Why did the gum cross the road?

Because it was stuck to the chicken's foot

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Why did the golf pro wear two pairs of pants?

In case he got a hole in one

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How do you fix a broken tomato?

With tomato paste!

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I told a cheese joke to my students.
They told me it wasn't gouda!

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What is the difference between a hippo and a zippo?
One is really heavy and one is a little lighter

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Last night I watched a TV program about about beavers. It was the best dam show I’ve ever seen.

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What do you call fake spaghetti?   Im-pasta!!!

Why didn't the skeleton go to the school dance? Because they didn't have any "body" to go with.

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Why don't they play Poker in the jungle??

Too many CHEETAHS!!!!!

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What kind of music do elves like best?

"Wrap" music!

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What's an astronauts favorite part of the computer?

A space bar!

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why  do cows wears bells ? because there horns don't work

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why do they call dogs hot?
cause their hot dog

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what's the difference between the bird flu and the swine flu?

Because one

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Why don't lobsters share?
Because they are shellfish.

What did one triangle say to the other?
Let's get together and square dance.

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what do you call a singing laptop?
A: a dell

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what do you call a factory that sells good products?
A SATISFACTORY!!!!!

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what kind of shoes does a thief wear . sneakers

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What do you call a bear with no teeth?

A GUMMY BEAR!!!!!!!