# data[].attributes.body
I'm planning to release ep4 wednesday december 19

if I don't get a room it's available online as always

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Mantak Chia: Techniques to Activate The Second Brain

# data[].attributes.body
Hey guys (and girls and alien species)

PP webinar episode 3 will be released monday Dec 10

I'm aware I skipped episode 2

stay tuned and thanks for watching the PP Webinar

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
There's something absolutely magical about this time of year: the twinkling lights, cozy fires, joyous cheer being spread by everyone, and perhaps most exciting of all, the anticipation of turning the page of our lives to a brand new chapter.
It's a season of celebration, love, and self-reflection.
In honor of this magical time, we have a reflection ritual here at Lifebook that takes place every December.

Here's how you can join us...

Light some candles, brew a cup of hot tea or pour a glass of champagne, get cozy by the fireside (perhaps with a loved one) and settle in for a few hours of deep reflection and openhearted honesty.

The ritual is done by answering simple questions, which are designed to call forth mighty truth, inspiration and growth from deep within you.
Enjoy this magical process, and make this New Year a beautiful expression of your wildest wishes and deepest dreams.
And as always, please take a moment share the love with us by commenting some of your favorite answers at the bottom of the post!
Click here to download these questions in Word Document format so you can complete the exercise and keep it in your Lifebook!
"Be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are.
When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you."
-Lao Tzu

Reflecting on 2018

What was your biggest triumph in 2018?

What was the smartest decision you made in 2018?

What one word or phrase best sums up and describes your 2018 experience?

What was the greatest lesson you learned in 2018?

What was the most loving service you performed in 2018?

What is your biggest piece of unfinished business in 2018?

What were the three most significant events of 2018?

Who were the three people that had the greatest impact on your life in 2018?

When did you feel most alive in 2018?

What was the biggest risk you took in 2018?

What was the biggest surprise in 2018?

What was your biggest failure in 2018?

What fears surfaced in your life in 2018?

What is one thing you can forgive yourself for in 2018?

What is one thing you can forgive another for 2018?

What was your biggest learning experience in 2018?

What will you vow to NEVER do again? Do more of?

What one area do you feel stuck in from 2018 that you would like to improve in the coming year?

Is there something from 2018 that you need to let go of?

What important relationships improved the most in 2018?

What compliment would you like to have received in 2018?

What compliment would you like to have given in 2018?

What else do you need to do or say to be complete with 2018?

Embarking into 2019
Review your Life Vision and your Annual Goals and then answer the following questions...
What would you like to be your biggest triumph in 2019?

What advice do you give yourself going into 2019?

What is the major effort you are planning to improve about your financial results in 2019?

What would you be most happy about completing in 2019?

What indulgence are you willing to experience in 2019?

How can you be more open-minded, and open-hearted in 2019?

What are you most looking forward to learning in 2019?

If you knew you couldn't fail, what would you attempt in 2019?

Regarding your work, what are you most committed to changing and improving in 2019?

What is one as yet undeveloped talent you are willing to explore in 2019?

What would you most like to change about yourself, personally, in 2019?

How can you fully nurture yourself first and foremost in 2019?

How can you stand up for yourself more in 2019?

How can you be kinder to yourself in 2019?

How will you move through your fears in 2019?

What currently brings you the most joy, and how are you going to do or have more of that in 2019?

Who or what (other than yourself or your family) are you most committed to loving and serving in 2019? How will you do it?

What one word / phrase will be your prayer, intention or theme in 2019?

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Lifebook's Annual Year-End Reflection Ceremony

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
There's something absolutely magical about this time of year: the twinkling lights, cozy fires, joyous cheer being spread by everyone, and perhaps most exciting of all, the anticipation of turning the page of our lives to a brand new chapter. It's a season of celebration, love, and self-reflection.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.authors[].name
Richard Davidson
Center Founder and Director

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
The Center for Healthy Minds at the University of Wisconsin–Madison is a global leader in understanding the mind, our emotions and well-being.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Over the years I've come to stop believing in goal setting.
This simple life-changing 7-minute exercise will help you see if you're truly aiming for the right goals in your life or if you're stuck in modern culture's "Means Goals" trap.

Why?

Because goal setting, or at least the way most of us are trained to do it, actually gets us to be obsessed about the how of attaining our goals, rather than the passion, the vision, and the beauty of the goal itself.

In short, we get obsessed with the 'means', rather than the 'end'.

And this is why so many of us wake up at the age of 40 one day, dreading going to work because we were forced to pick a career before we could legally buy a beer.

In this video, we are going to change the way you think about goal setting.

We are going to present to you the 3 most important questions to ask yourself.

If everyone asked themselves these questions at the age of 18, we believe the world would be a much happier place. But no matter how old you are, it's not too late.

This exercise will change the way you plan your life and see your goals.
Download the PDF for the exercise here. Subscribe, download, and review this episode on your Android or Apple mobile devices. Discover the Four Key Stages of Human Consciousness and Learn How to Bend Reality and Make the Impossible, Possible. Sign up for this FREE Masterclass below:
It'll change the way you see your career, mission, and life purpose unfolding.

The intro to the exercise takes no more than 5 minutes, and the exercise itself takes 7 minutes. This could be one of the most important 12 minutes of your life.

What is your experience, growth or contribution vision that drives you most?

Share your answers in the comments field below.

Vishen Lakhiani

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
The 3 Most Important Questions To Ask Yourself - Mindvalley Blog

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Over the years I've come to stop believing in goal setting. This simple life-changing 7-minute exercise will help you see if you're truly aiming for the right goals in your life or if you're stuck in modern culture's "Means Goals" trap. Why?

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
For decades, psychologists have studied how long-term, meaningful goals develop over the span of our lives. The goals that foster a sense of purpose are ones that can potentially change the lives of other people, like launching an organization, researching disease, or teaching kids to read.

Indeed, a sense of purpose appears to have evolved in humans so that we can accomplish big things together, which may be why it's linked to better physical and mental health. Purpose is adaptive, in an evolutionary sense. It helps both individuals and the species to survive.

Many seem to believe that purpose arises from your special gifts; the ones that set you apart from other people-but that's only part of the truth. It also grows from our connection to others, which is why a crisis of purpose is often a symptom of isolation. Once you find your path, you'll almost certainly find others traveling along with you, hoping to reach the same destination-a community.

Here are six ways to overcome isolation and discover your purpose in life.

1. Read

Reading connects us to people we'll never know, across time and space, an experience that research says is linked to a sense of meaning and purpose. (Note: 'Meaning' and 'purpose' are linked but separate social-scientific constructs. Purpose is a part of meaning; meaning is a much broader concept that usually also includes value, efficacy, and self-worth.)
Research says that reading is linked to a sense of meaning and purpose.
In a 2010 paper, for example, Leslie Francis studied a group of nearly 26,000 teenagers throughout England and Wales and found that those who read the Bible more tended to have a stronger sense of purpose. Secular reading seems to make a difference, as well. In a survey of empirical studies, Raymond A. Mar and colleagues found a link between reading poetry and fiction, and a sense of purpose among adolescents. They suggest:

Reading fiction might allow adolescents to reason about the whole lives of characters, giving them specific insight into an entire lifespan without having to have fully lived most of their own lives.

By seeing purpose in the lives of other people, teens are more likely to see it in their own lives. In this sense, purpose is an act of the imagination.

Many people I interviewed for this article mentioned pivotal books or ideas they found in books.

The writing of historian, W.E.B. Du Bois, pushed social-justice activist, Art McGee, to embrace a specific vision of African-American identity and liberation. Journalist, Michael Stoll, found inspiration in the "social responsibility theory of journalism," which he read about at Stanford University. "Basically, reporters and editors have not just the ability but also the duty to improve their community by being independent arbiters of problems that need solving," he says. "It's been my professional North Star ever since."

Spurred by this idea, Michael went on to launch an award-winning nonprofit news agency, called The San Francisco Public Press.

So, if you're feeling a crisis of purpose in your life, go to the bookstore or library or university. Find books that matter to you-and they might help you to see what matters in your own life.

2. Turn Hurts into Healing for Others

Of course, finding purpose is not just an intellectual pursuit; it's something we need to feel. That's why it can grow out of suffering; both our own and others'.
Our pain can lead us to find purpose in helping others through similar experiences.
Kezia Willingham was raised in poverty in Corvallis, Oregon, her family riven by domestic violence. "No one at school intervened or helped or supported my mother, myself, or my brother when I was growing up poor, ashamed, and sure that my existence was a mistake," she says. "I was running the streets, skipping school, having sex with strangers, and abusing every drug I could get my hands on."

When she was 16, Kezia enrolled at an alternative high school that "led me to believe I had options and a path out of poverty." She made her way to college and was especially "drawn to the kids with 'issues,'" kids like the one she had once been. She says:

I want the kids out there who grew up like me, to know they have futures ahead of them. I want them to know they are smart, even if they may not meet state academic standards. I want them to know that they are just as good and valuable as any other human who happens to be born into more privileged circumstances. Because they are. And there are so damn many messages telling them otherwise.

Sometimes, another person's pain can lead us to purpose. When Christopher Pepper was a senior in high school, a "trembling, tearful friend" told him that she had been raped by a classmate. "I comforted as well as I could, and left that conversation vowing that I would do something to keep this from happening to others," says Christopher. He kept that promise by becoming a Peer Rape Educator in college, and then a sex educator in San Francisco public schools.

Why do people like Kezia and Christopher seem to find purpose in suffering, while others are crushed by it? Part of the answer, as we'll see next, might have to do with the emotions and behaviors we cultivate in ourselves.

3. Cultivate Awe, Gratitude, and Altruism

Certain emotions and behaviors that promote health and well-being can also foster a sense of purpose-specifically, awe, gratitude, and altruism.

Several studies conducted by the Greater Good Science Center's, Dacher Keltner, have shown that the experience of awe makes us feel connected to something larger than ourselves-and so can provide the emotional foundation for a sense of purpose.
Those who count their blessings are more likely to contribute to the world.
Of course, awe all by itself won't give you a purpose in life. It's not enough to just feel like you're a small part of something big; you also need to feel driven to make a positive impact on the world. That's where gratitude and generosity come into play. A leading expert on purpose, psychologist Kendall Bronk, writes:

It may seem counterintuitive to foster purpose by cultivating a grateful mindset, but it works.

As research by William Damon, Robert Emmons, and others has found, children and adults who are able to count their blessings are much more likely to try to "contribute to the world beyond themselves." This is probably because, if we can see how others make our world a better place, we'll be more motivated to give something back.

Here we arrive at altruism. There's little question, at this point, that helping others is associated with a meaningful, purposeful life. In one study, for example, Daryl Van Tongeren and colleagues found that people who engage in more altruistic behaviors, like volunteering or donating money, tend to have a greater sense of purpose in their lives.

Interestingly, gratitude and altruism seem to work together to generate meaning and purpose. In a second experiment, the researchers randomly assigned some participants to write letters of gratitude-and those people later reported a stronger sense of purpose. More recent work, by Christina Karns and colleagues, found that altruism and gratitude are neurologically linked, activating the same reward circuits in the brain.

4. Listen to What Other People Appreciate about You

Giving thanks can help you find your purpose. But you can also find purpose in what people thank you for.

Like Kezia Willingham, Shawn Taylor had a tough childhood-and he was also drawn to working with kids who had severe behavioral problems. Unlike her, however, he often felt like the work was a dead-end. "I thought I sucked at my chosen profession," he says. Then, one day, a girl he'd worked with five years before contacted him.
Appreciation can bring us back to, and fuel, our purpose.
"She detailed how I helped to change her life," says Shawn, and she asked him to walk her down the aisle when she got married. Shawn hadn't even thought about her, in all that time. "Something clicked and I knew this was my path. No specifics, but youth work was my purpose."

The artists, writers, and musicians I interviewed often described how appreciation from others fueled their work. Dani Burlison never lacked a sense of purpose, and she toiled for years as a writer and social-justice activist in Santa Rosa, California. But when wildfires swept through her community, Dani discovered that her strengths were needed in a new way: "I've found that my networking and emergency response skills have been really helpful to my community, my students, and to firefighters!"

Although there is no research that directly explores how being thanked might fuel a sense of purpose, we do know that gratitude strengthens relationships and those are often the source of our purpose, as many of these stories suggest.

5. Find and Build Community

As we see in Dani's case, we can often find our sense of purpose in the people around us.

Many people told me about finding purpose in family. In tandem with his reading, Art McGee found purpose-working for social and racial justice -in "love and respect for my hardworking father," he says. "Working people like him deserved so much better."

Environmental and social-justice organizer, Jodi Sugerman-Brozan, feels driven "to leave the world in a better place than I found it." Becoming a mom "strengthened that purpose (it's going to be their world, and their kids' world)," she says. It "definitely influences how I parent (wanting to raise anti-racist, feminist, radical kids who will want to continue the fight and be leaders)."
Community gives us a sense of belonging, and therefore, a greater sense of purpose.
Of course, our kids may not embrace our purpose. Amber Cantorna was raised by purpose-driven parents who were right-wing Christians. "My mom had us involved in stuff all the time, all within that conservative Christian bubble," she says. This family and community fueled a strong sense of purpose in Amber: "To be a good Christian and role model. To be a blessing to other people."

The trouble is that this underlying purpose involved making other people more like them. When she came out as a lesbian at age 27, Amber's family and community swiftly and suddenly cast her out. This triggered a deep crisis of purpose; one that she resolved by finding a new faith community "that helped shape me and gave me a sense of belonging," she says.

Often, the nobility of our purpose reflects the company we keep. The purpose that came from Amber's parents was based on exclusion, as she discovered. There was no place-and no purpose-for her in that community once she embraced an identity they couldn't accept. A new sense of purpose came with the new community and identity she helped to build, of gay and lesbian Christians.

If you're having trouble remembering your purpose, take a look at the people around you. What do you have in common with them? What are they trying to be? What impact do you see them having on the world? Is that impact a positive one? Can you join with them in making that impact? What do they need? Can you give it to them?

If the answers to those questions don't inspire you, then you might need to find a new community-and with that, a new purpose may come.

6. Tell Your Story

Reading can help you find your purpose-but so can writing.

Purpose often arises from curiosity about your own life. What obstacles have you encountered? What strengths helped you to overcome them? How did other people help you? How did your strengths help make life better for others?
Writing helps us understand ourselves and our lives and expressing that can help others.
"We all have the ability to make a narrative out of our own lives," says Emily Esfahani Smith, author of the 2017 book The Power of Meaning.

It gives us clarity on our own lives, how to understand ourselves, and gives us a framework that goes beyond the day-to-day and basically helps us make sense of our experiences.

That's why Amber Cantorna wrote her memoir, Refocusing My Family: Coming Out, Being Cast Out, and Discovering the True Love of God. At first, depressed after losing everyone she loved, Amber soon discovered new strengths in herself and now she is using her book to help build a nonprofit organization called Beyond to support gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender Christians in their coming-out process.

One 2008 study found that those who see meaning and purpose in their lives are able to tell a story of change and growth, where they managed to overcome the obstacles they encountered. In other words, creating a narrative like Amber's can help us to see our own strengths and how applying those strengths can make a difference in the world, which increases our sense of self-efficacy.

This is a valuable reflective process to all people, but Amber took it one step further, by publishing her autobiography and turning it into a tool for social change. Today, Amber's purpose is to help people like her feel less alone.

My sense of purpose has grown a lot with my desire to share my story-and the realization that so many other people have shared my journey.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
For decades, psychologists have studied how long-term, meaningful goals develop over the span of our lives. The goals that foster a sense of purpose are ones that can potentially change the lives of other people, like launching an organization, researching disease, or teaching kids to read.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
1899, Interview with Nikola Tesla

Once, in 1899, Nikola Tesla had an interview with certain journalist John Smith, when Tesla said "Everything is the Light". In one of its rays is the fate of nations, each nation has its own ray in that great light source, which we see as the Sun. And remember: no one man that existed did not die.

Really, all it true. I'm proud of my Serbian origin and my Croatian homeland.

Futurists say that the Twenty-and Twenty First Century was born in head of Nikola Tesla. They celebrate conversely magnetic field and sing hymns to Inductions engine. Their creator was called the hunter who caught the light in his net from the depths of the earth, and the warrior who captured fire from heaven. Father of alternating current will make the Physics and Chemistry dominate half the world. Industry will proclaim him as their supreme saint, a banker for the largest benefactors. In the laboratory of Nikola Tesla for the first time is broken atom.

There is created a weapon that causes the earthquake vibrations. There are discovered black cosmic rays. Five races will pray to him in the Temple of the future, because they had taught a great secret that Empedocles elements can be watered with the life forces from the ethers.

Mankind is not ready for the great and good. In Colorado Springs I soaked the earth by electricity. Also we can water the other energies, such as positive mental energy. They are in the music of Bach or Mozart, or in the verses of great poets. In the Earth's interior, there are energy of Joy, Peace and Love. Their expressions are a flower that grows from the Earth, the food we get out of her and everything that makes man's homeland. I've spent years looking for the way that this energy could influence people. The beauty and the scent of roses can be used as a medicine and the sun rays as a food.

Life has an infinite number of forms, and the duty of scientists is to find them in every form of matter. Three things are essential in this. All that I do is a search for them. I know I will not find them, but I will not give up on them.

Another thing is to destroy the power of evil and suffering in which man's life passes! They sometimes occur as an epidemic in the depths of space. In this century, the disease had spread from Earth in the Universe.

The third thing is: Is there an excess Light in the Universe? I discovered a star that by all the astronomical and mathematical laws could disappear, and that nothing seems to be modified. This star is in this galaxy. Its light can occur in such density that fits into a sphere smaller than an apple, a heavier than our Solar System. Religions and philosophies teach that man can become the Christ, Buddha and Zoroaster. What I'm trying to prove is wilder, and almost unattainable. This is what to do in the Universe so every being is born as Christ, Buddha or Zoroaster.

I know that gravity is prone to everything you need to fly and my intention is not to make flying devices (aircraft or missiles), but teach individual to regain consciousness on his own wings ... Further; I am trying to awake the energy contained in the air. There are the main sources of energy. What is considered as empty space is just a manifestation of matter that is not awakened.

No empty space on this planet, nor in the Universe.. In black holes, what astronomers talk about, are the most powerful sources of energy and life.

The second law is spreading a darkness, which is the true nature of Light, from the inexplicable and it's transformed into the Light. The third law is the necessity of the Light to become a matter of Light. The fourth law is: no beginning and no end; three previous laws always take place and the Creation is eternal.

I am part of a light, and it is the music. The Light fills my six senses: I see it, hear, feel, smell, touch and think. Thinking of it means my sixth sense. Particles of Light are written note. O bolt of lightning can be an entire sonata. A thousand balls of lightening is a concert.. For this concert

I have created a Ball Lightning, which can be heard on the icy peaks of the Himalayas.
About Pythagoras and mathematics a scientist may not and must not infringe of these two. Numbers and equations are signs that mark the music of the spheres. If Einstein had heard these sounds, he would not create theories of relativity. These sounds are the messages to the mind that life has meaning, that the Universe exists in perfect harmony, and its beauty is the cause and effect of Creation. This music is the eternal cycle of stellar heavens.

The smallest star has completed composition and also, part of the celestial symphony. The man's heartbeats are part of the symphony on the Earth. Newton learned that the secret is in geometric arrangement and motion of celestial bodies. He recognized that the supreme law of harmony exists in the Universe. The curved space is chaos, chaos is not music. Einstein is the messenger of the time of sound and fury.

No, I have nothing against Mr. Einstein. He is a kind person and has done many good things, some of which will become part of the music. I will write to him and try to explain that the ether exists, and that its particles are what keep the Universe in harmony, and the life in eternity.

So I enjoyed every day and night. Write down: Nikola Tesla was a happy man... The fourth requirement is to adjust the physical assembly with a work.

I warned Mr. Twain as not to remain under these vibrations. He did not listen and stayed longer. It ended by being, like a rocket, holding pants, darted into a certain room. It was a diabolically funny, but I kept the seriousness.

But, to adjust the physical circuit, in addition to food, dream is very important . From a long and exhausting work, which required superhuman effort, after one hour of sleep I'd be fully recovered. I gained the ability to manage sleep, to fell asleep and wake up in the time which I have designated. If I do something what I do not understand, I force myself to think about it in my dream, and thus find a solution.

Goethe's Faust, my favorite book, I learned by heart in German as a student, and now it can all recite. I held my inventions for years 'in my head ", and only then I realized them.

My eyesight and hearing are perfect and, dare to say, stronger than other people. I hear the thunder of a hundred fifty miles away, and I see colors in the sky that others cannot see. This enlargement of vision and hearing, I had as a child. Later I consciously developed.

I had them all my life, and I have received them as all other phenomena around us. Once, in childhood, I was walking along the river with Uncle and said: "From the water will appear the trout, I'll throw a stone and it is cut." That's what happened. Frightened and amazed, his uncle cried: "Bade retro Satan's!" He was an educated and he spoke in Latin ...

I was in Paris when I saw my mother's death. In the sky, full of light and music floated are wonderful creatures. One of them had a mother's character, who was looking at me with infinite love. As the vision disappeared, I knew that my mother died.

The knowledge of how the mental and vital energy transform into what we want, and achieve control over all feelings. Hindus call it Kundalini Yoga. This knowledge can be learned, for what they need many years or is acquired by birth. The most of them I acquired by birth. They are in the closest connection with a sexual energy that is after the most widespread in the Universe. The woman is the biggest thief of that energy, and thus the spiritual power.

I've always knew that and was alerted. Of myself I created what I wanted: a thoughtful and spiritual machine.

Lightning are the most beautiful toys that can be found. Do not forget that in your text stand out: Nikola Tesla was the first man who discovered lightning.

Knowledge comes from space; our vision is its most perfect set. We have two eyes: the earthly and spiritual. It is recommended that it become one eye. Universe is alive in all its manifestations, like a thinking animal.

Stone is a thinking and sentient being, such as plant, beast and a man. A star that shines asked to look at, and if we are not a sizeable self-absorbed we would understand its language and message. His breathing, his eyes and ears of the man must comply with breathing, eyes and ears of the Universe.

One cannot hide, there are around us, but we are blind and deaf to them. If we emotionally tie ourselves to them, they come to us themselves. There are a lot of apples, but one Newton. He asked for just one apple that fell in front of him.

It has the power to run the Earth with its orbit. It is true Archimedean lever.

Brain function and death is manifested in light. My eyes in youth were black, now blue, and as time goes on and strain the brain gets stronger, they are closer to white. White is the color of heaven. Through my window one morning, landed a white dove, which I fed. She wanted to bring me a word that she was dying. From her eyes the light jets were coming out. Never in the eyes of any creature had I not seen so much light, as in that pigeon.

Thousands of fire was turning around in thousands of flaming colors. I remembered Faust and recited his verses and then, as in a fog, I saw spinning magnetic field, and induction motor. I saw them in the sun!

In the sky brightness and thunder live my mother, sister, brother Daniel, a poet Jovan Jovanovic Zmaj and other persons of Serbian history. Names such AsIsaiah, Ezekiel, Leonardo, Beethoven, Goya, Faraday, Pushkin and all burning fires mark shoals and tangles of lightning and thunder, which does not stop all night bringing to the Earth precious rain and burning trees or villages.

There is lightning and thunder, and they are the brightest and most powerful, that will not vanish. They are coming back and I recognize them among the thousands.

The universe is spiritual; we are only half that way. The Universe is more moral than us, because we do not know his nature and how to harmonize our lives with it. I am not scientist, science is perhaps the most convenient way to find the answer to the question that always haunt me, and which my days and nights turned into fire.

I understand that this is necessary included in the structure of the Universe. The thing is, though, is that one of these stars and one of these suns, even the smallest, preserves.

The entire Universe is in certain periods sick of itself, and of us. Disappearance of a star and the appearance of comets affect us more than we can imagine. Relationships among the creatures on the Earth are even stronger, because of our feelings and thoughts the flower will scent even more beautiful or will fall in silence.

These truths we must learn in order to be healed. Remedy is in our hearts and evenly, in the heart of the animals that we call the Universe.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Once, in 1899, Nikola Tesla had an interview with certain journalist John Smith, when Tesla said "Everything is the Light ". In one of its rays is the fate of nations, each nation has its own ray in that great light source, which we see as the Sun.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
It was 1972 at Penn State University, and Gary Weber, a 29-year old materials science PhD student, had a problem with his brain. It kept generating thoughts! He had a continuous and oppressive stream of neurotic concerns about his life, his studies, and everything else. While most human beings would consider this par for the course; par for the human condition (or 'cogito ergo sum', which can be translated as "I think therefore I am"), Weber wouldn't accept it. He was a scientist, a systematizer, a process guy. He liked to figure out how things worked, and how they could be tweaked to work more efficiently. And at that moment his brain wasn't very efficient. It expended a lot of energy going over and over the same anxieties, and cravings, and storylines. "Most of these thoughts had no purpose," he said. "They were not going to cure cancer."
Hakuin Ekaku was one of the most influential figures in Japanese Zen Buddhism, as well as a praised artist.
It so happened that shortly after he recognized the problem, in one of those little life coincidences that some people like to call "synchronicities," Weber picked up a slim volume of poetry on his way out of the library. He sat down on the green grass in front of the University admin building, unpacked his lunch and idly opened the book. He read:

All beings are, from the very beginning, Buddhas. - Haikuin Ekaku

This is the first line of a famous Zen poem - Song of Zazen - written in the 18th century by the Japanese Buddhist teacher Hakuin Ekaku. Weber knew nothing of Zen. Still, within seconds of reading Ekaku's words, according to Weber: "the entire world just opened up. I mean it literally opened up. For what must have been thirty or forty minutes, I dropped into this magnificent expansiveness - a vast empty space without any thoughts whatsoever."
Kensho can be translated as "seeing" into one's own nature.
Weber had had what in Zen is called a "kensho" - an awakening; a glimpse into the unconditioned, a mystical phenomenon described in different ways by countless texts and countless teachers, in countless traditions. It was a profound experience, but like so many such experiences, it didn't last. Weber's thoughts returned - as insistent and clamorous as ever. But now Weber knew another way was possible. He was determined.

An Spiritual Life in a Scientific World

For the next 25 years, as Weber finished his PhD; married and raised two kids, and made his way through a string of industry jobs - eventually culminating in a senior management position, running the R&D operations of a big manufacturing business - he got spiritual. He read lots of books, he meditated with Zen teachers, mastered complicated yoga postures, and practiced what is known in Vedic philosophy as "self-enquiry" - a way of directing attention backwards into the center of the mind. To make time for all this, Weber would get up at 4am and put in two hours of spiritual practice before work.
In this modern day and age, we have unlimited access to spiritual texts and teachings.
Although he says he never had the sense he was making progress, Weber kept at it anyway. Then, on a morning like any other, something happened. He got into a yoga pose - a pose he had done thousands of times before - and when he moved out of it, his thoughts stopped. Permanently. "That was fourteen years ago," says Weber. "I entered into a state of complete inner stillness. Except for a few stray thoughts first thing in the morning, and a few more when my blood sugar gets low, my mind is quiet. The old thought-track has never come back."

Of course, the fact that Weber is telling this story at all would seem to contradict this rather dramatic claim. Conventional wisdom tells us that talk is the verbal expression of thinking; separating the two makes no sense. And yet, this is the experience Weber reports. And at the time he didn't care if it was theoretically impossible. What he cared about was that in an hour he needed to go to work, where he was supposed to run four research labs, manage a thousand employees, and a quarter of a billion dollar budget, and he had no thoughts. How was that going to work?
Could quietening the mind be possible in our faced-paced, Western lives?
"There was no problem at all," Weber says, which he admits may say more about corporate management than about him. "No one noticed. I'd go into a meeting with nothing prepared, no list of points in my head. I'd just sit there and wait to see what came up. And what came up when I opened my mouth were solutions to problems smarter, and more elegant than any I could have developed on my own."

Over time, Weber figured out that it wasn't that all his thoughts had disappeared, rather, a particular kind of self-referential thinking had cut out what he calls "the blah blah network." Scientists now refer to this as the "default mode network" (DMN), that is, the endlessly ruminative story of me: the obsessive list-maker, the anxious scenario planner, the distracted daydreamer. This is the part of the thinking process we default to when not engaged in a specific task.
DMN refers to high levels of brain activity, even when a person is at rest.
"What's fascinating to me," Weber says, "is I can still reason and problem solve, I just don't have this ongoing emotionally-charged, self-referential narrative gobbling up bandwidth."
But the real surprise for Weber is what disappeared along with the "me" narrative: any sense of being a separate self, and with it, all mental and emotional suffering. He has a theory about this: "If you look at the self-referential narrative, it's all 'I, me, mine.' When that cuts out, the 'I' goes with it. Now, for me, it's very quiet and peaceful inside - there's no sense of wanting things to be other than they are, and no 'I' to grab hold of 'I want, I desire, I lust.'" Although his case is extreme, Weber's experience is in line with research showing that more DMN activation correlates with more unhappiness - 'A Wandering Mind is an Unhappy Mind', as the title of one well-known paper puts it.

Weber has even found the changes have carried over into his emotional life: "I still get angry, but it's different now. If someone cuts me off in traffic, I feel the energy come up, but it doesn't go anyplace. There's no chasing somebody down the highway. The anger dissipates immediately - it doesn't carry forward. You don't lose the typical neural responses - thank goodness - what you lose is the desire leading up to them, and, once the response passes, you don't make up a story about what happened that you repeat again and again in your head. Those storylines are gone."

The Brain Exploration Begins

Like other scientists before him who've experienced similar transformations - the neuroscientist James Austin, the neuroanatomist Jill Bolte Taylor, to name two examples - Weber got interested in what was going on his brain. He connected with a neuroscientist at Yale University named Judson Brewer, who was studying how the DMN changes in response to meditation. He found, as expected, that experienced meditators had lower DMN activation when meditating.
Neuroanatomist Jill Bolte Taylor experienced her "awakening" when she had a stroke.
But when Brewer put Weber in the scanner he found the opposite pattern: Weber's baseline was already a relatively deactivated DMN. Trying to meditate - making any kind of deliberate effort - actually disrupted his peace. In other words, Weber's normal state was a kind of meditative letting go, something Brewer had only seen a few times previously, and other researchers had, until then, only reported anecdotally.

And here we come to a subtle but important difference of opinion between Weber and Brewer. For Weber, true letting go means arriving at a state of "no-thought" where the mind is permanently stilled of any kind of "bandwidth-gobbling" inner monologue. Creative thoughts, planning thoughts - these are fine, and are, according to Weber, served by completely different parts of the brain. The real suffering happens in the endless and exhausting internal monologue. Thus, he argues, working to extinguish these kinds of thoughts should be the explicit goal of practice, something he says other contemplative traditions also emphasize.
Meditation decreases Beta waves (bright colours), Beta waves are responsible for logic and critical thinking, and can also translate into stress, anxiety and restlessness.
By contrast, further study has suggested to Brewer that the thoughts themselves - even a certain amount of the self-referential kind - may not actually be the problem; the real problem is our human tendency to fixate and grip and get "caught up" in these thoughts. Some of his subjects attained dramatic reductions in DMN activity, while still thinking in a self-referential way. They just weren't attached to their ruminations. One subject described watching his thoughts "flow by." As Buddhists have long argued, you don't need to eliminate the self-thinking process, you just need to change your relationship to it.

Whatever the exact case, both men agree that a reduction of activity in the DMN is central to the elimination of suffering. That it is being discussed at all marks an important advance in the scientific study of meditation in particular, and spiritual practice in general. Many researchers have shown unequivocally that stress and suffering can be dramatically reduced by meditation and by mindfulness in life. But they have not yet shown why this is so.
With more scientific research, we may unlock the mystery to the power of meditation
Have Brewer and his colleagues finally found a clue to how the reduction of suffering looks in the brain? Not the activation of a specific region, but a more general deactivation; a neurological "letting go" that parallels the experiential one? "Even in novices we saw a relative deactivation across the brain - like the brain was saying, "Oh thank God I can let go. I don't have to do stuff; I don't have to do all this high energy maintenance of myself". One interpretation of that - and there are many others - is that the brain knows what it needs to do. It's a very efficient machine; we just have to stop getting in the way."

This kind of neurobiological perspective is a movement towards what Brewer calls "evidence-based faith," where science may be able to help teachers and practitioners fine-tune the approaches they take to practice. Contemplatives may recoil at the idea, but for Brewer, addressing suffering is the priority; a project science can help with. As proof-of-concept, Brewer has just published two studies that show how meditators can watch live feedback from their brains inside the fMRI (Functional Magnetic Resonance Imaging) and use it to decrease their DMN activation in real-time. And he's just received an NIH grant to study how this could work for non-meditators more quickly, and hopefully one day, more affordably. "The aim is to see if neurofeedback can give regular folks feedback on subtle aspects of their experience ...stuff they wouldn't notice otherwise." he says.
Meditation practise is being introduced into schools globally, and studies are proving it is dramatically helping students personally and academically.
Weber agrees, "Right now we can get folks off the street, and within one or two runs in the Yale fMRI, they can produce this deactivated state. The more glimpses the brain gets, the more time it spends there, the more it can stay there. It's like riding a bike. With this technology you may not have to spend twenty-five years practicing like I did. It's much more efficient."

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
It was 1972 at Penn State University, and Gary Weber, a 29-year old materials science PhD student, had a problem with his brain. It kept generating thoughts! He had a continuous and oppressive stream of neurotic concerns about his life, his studies, and everything else.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Once I heard a meditation master describe awakening using the metaphor of watching TV. He said awakening is like when you are watching a movie-you are aware of the room around you and you know that the movie you're watching is just a movie and not real.

It's like watching the drama of your life but knowing you are more than your drama. This type of detachment has been taught by meditation teachers throughout the ages. Detachment naturally offers a broader perspective and more space to make wise choices. And ironically the more detached you are from thoughts, the more connected you are to the reality of the moment.

To enjoy watching a movie we 'suspend disbelief,' identifying with the characters and losing ourselves in the drama of the story. We also enjoy the emotional responses of excitement, love and even fear from the safety of our lounge chairs.

I could never really enjoy watching horror movies with my dad because he would continuously point out that it's not real-that's tomato sauce not blood or he'd tell me that person didn't really die, he is only an actor. I would plead with my dad-I know it's not real but I'm trying to enjoy the movie.
What if reality was way more special than you could ever imagine or dream up?
Spiritual awakening is not for everyone. When I first heard this I thought it must be wrong but awakening can be challenging; it's like when you're rudely awakened by an alarm clock from a nice dream, sometimes you just want to go back to sleep and enjoy the dream. Or when you're trying to enjoy a movie and an annoying person keeps reminding you it's not real. It can be difficult coming to terms with spiritual truths about your life being just a dream or an illusion or empty of any inherent meaning. Most people, myself included, would like to think their life is important, special and has a deeper meaning, but how do you confront the reality of it all being a projection of your imagination onto the infinite play of existence?

However, what if reality was way more special than you could ever imagine or dream up? What if you are a part of a deeper mystery that is interconnected with all things? As meditation master Tenzin Palmo says:

Meditation is for you to realise that the deepest nature of your existence is beyond thoughts and emotions, that it is incredibly vast and interconnected with all other beings.

This is a common theme amongst the great meditation traditions-that reality lies beyond our normal thinking minds and is vast and actually one with everything. Since the universe is so incredibly enormous, where the Earth is like a sliver of a grain of sand in the ocean of infinity, it is no wonder that it's impossible for us to imagine. I often think expecting humans to be able to conceptualise with their thinking minds the infinite nature of the universe is like expecting a fish to understand algebra-it's just not possible with the equipment we are using.
Reality lies beyond our normal thinking minds and is vast and actually one with everything.
In mindfulness therapy, they make the distinction between being fused with thoughts and being the observer of thoughts. Being fused with thoughts is characterised by confusion and no separation between your identity and your story. When you are fused with thoughts, you have suspended disbelief and are living the life of a movie character in your own movie, which can be fun as long as you know it's not real and it's just a movie. When you are the observer, you can choose to engage with the thought or to let it go and therefore you are in control instead of your thoughts.

Getting caught in thoughts during meditation and in life is like a watching movie-we engage in the drama so fully, it's the only reality happening and it has control over our emotions. But if we can detach from our thoughts, notice there is more going on than just the thoughts and they are not real, we can have a chance of experiencing the spacious stillness of a broader perspective, which is always available but mostly overlooked, and awaken from a hypnotic trance. Like Eckhart Tolle says:

Spiritual awakening is awakening from the dream of thought.

Detachment is only the beginning of spiritual awakening and the first step on the path of meditation. In Zen, they have a saying that when you start meditating, mountains are not mountains anymore but then you fully awaken and mountains are just mountains again. Thoughts are nothing to fear or try to escape from, it's just a matter of putting them into perspective and developing a new relationship with thoughts. When you are fully awakened you can both enjoy the movie and know it's not real. You can enjoy life and create meaning, knowing it's all just play.
Beyond the small dream of human existence, there is a deep reservoir of hidden dimensions.
But that's all just the beginning. After you have awoken from the dream of believing in your mind's limited perspective, you remove the blockages for such things as kundalini energy, psychic intuition, healing abilities, telepathy and more. These dimensions are literally beyond description but time and time again meditation masters have told us that beyond the small dream of human existence there is a deep reservoir of hidden dimensions. These dimensions contain bliss, non-conceptual or spontaneous wisdom and also incredible love and compassion for all that exists.

Awakening is waking up from the dream of thought into the vastness of a direct experience of the totality of the universe.

The 'way of meditation' is to integrate this awakening into every aspect of our lives. To follow our bliss instead of our stories, to put down the need to know things with the mind, to give space for the intuitive whispers over the noise of our conditioning and to flow with the spontaneous wisdom and compassion that is always there when we drop the last thought and enter into the river of infinity.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Once I heard a meditation master describe awakening using the metaphor of watching TV. He said awakening is like when you are watching a movie-you are aware of the room around you and you know that the movie you're watching is just a movie and not real.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
© 2023 Therapist Aid. All rights reserved

Disclaimer: The resources available on Therapist Aid do not replace therapy, and are intended to be used by qualified professionals. Professionals who use the tools available on this website should not practice outside of their own areas of competency. These tools are intended to supplement treatment, and are not a replacement for appropriate training.

Copyright Notice: Therapist Aid LLC is the owner of the copyright for this website and all original materials/works that are included. Therapist Aid has the exclusive right to reproduce their original works, prepare derivative works, distribute copies of the works, and in the case of videos/sound recordings perform or display the work publicly. Anyone who violates the exclusive rights of the copyright owner is an infringer of the copyrights in violation of the US Copyright Act. For more information about how our resources may or may not be used, see our help page. Therapist Aid has obtained permission to post the copyright protected works of other professionals in the community and has recognized the contributions from each author.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Therapy Worksheets, Tools, and Handouts | Therapist Aid

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Free worksheets, treatment guides, and videos for mental health professionals. Topics include CBT, anger management, self-esteem, relaxation, and more.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Many centuries ago, Lao Tzu, spoke of the four cardinal virtues, teaching that when we practice them as a way of life, we come to know the truth of the universe. The ancient Chinese master said that living and practicing these teachings can open you to higher wisdom and greater happiness, as they realign you to the source and enable you to access all the powers that source energy has to offer.

"When you succeed in connecting your energy with the divine realm through high awareness and the practice of undiscriminating virtue, the transmission of the ultimate subtle truths will follow." Lao Tzu

Lao Tzu means 'Old Master,' and he was believed by some to be a God-realised being. The Four Cardinal Virtues are found in the Tao Te Ching, a collection of sayings expounding the principal Taoist teachings. It has 81 short poetic verses packed full of universal wisdom for politics, society, and personal life, and aims to support personal harmony through the right view and understanding of existence. The Tao (also known as the Way or the Dao) has baffled its readers for centuries with its cryptic and deliberate contradictions, yet it offers a profound contemplation to seekers, lending itself to varied interpretations and inner questioning.
Lao Tzu means 'Old Master,' and he was believed by some to be a God-realised being.

"The Tao that can be told is not the eternal Tao. The name that can be named is not the eternal name. The Tao is both named and nameless. As nameless it is the origin of all things; as named it is the Mother of 10,000 things. Ever desireless, one can see the mystery; ever desiring, one sees only the manifestations. And the mystery itself is the doorway to all understanding." ― Wayne W. Dyer, Change Your Thoughts - Change Your Life: Living the Wisdom of the Tao

The Tao Te Ching is the basic text of Taoism, but it has also influenced Confucianism and Chinese Buddhism, and is among some of the most translated works in world literature. This powerful text of the Tao, road or way of life, reflects the force of the universe and even the universe itself. While many have tried to make sense of its mystery, one man immersed himself in this text, literally living its wisdom, and then distilled the essence of these ancient mystery teachings for a modern audience.

In 2006, the late Wayne Dyer was inspired to spend his entire 65th year reading, researching, and meditating on Lao Tzu's messages, going into retreat to practice them and ultimately write down the insights he felt Lao Ttzu wanted us to know. Dr Dyer researched ten well respected translations of the text and the result of that life-changing year was his best-selling book Change Your Thoughts-Change Your Life: Living the Wisdom of the Tao.

Affectionately known as the Father of Motivation, Dr Dyer says Lao Tzu's four cardinal virtues represent the surest way to leave habits and excuses behind and reconnect to your original nature. "The more your life is harmonised with the four virtues, the less you're controlled by the uncompromising ego."
Dr Dyer says Lao Tzu's four virtues represent the surest way to leave habits and excuses behind.
The Tao encourages us to be in touch with our own selves, particularly our deepest selves, for when you know who you really are, that is when you discover eternal peace. Lao Tzu liked to compare different parts of nature to different virtues. He said, "The best people are like water, which benefits all things and does not compete with them. It stays in lowly places that others reject. This is why it is so similar to the Way (Dao)." Each part of nature can remind us of a quality we admire and should cultivate ourselves-the strength of the mountains, the resilience of trees, the cheerfulness of flowers.

We enter life with a seemingly clean slate, a spectacular pathway ahead of us with unlimited potentials and choices. To navigate our lives and get a handle on the challenges and gifts life will throw at us, it is useful to have some sort of compass so that we don't end up on the rocks or lost at sea.

For many people this may be religion, morality, or the belief systems passed down by their family, and they may derive a sense of strength and direction through their strongly held inner compass sourced in this integrity. No matter what happens in life, they'll always fall back on that maxim, whether it be, for example, to lead from the heart, or to be kind.

"To realise the constancy and steadiness in your life is to realise the deep nature of the universe. This realisation is not dependent on any transitory internal or external condition, rather it is an expression of one's own immutable spiritual nature. The only way to attain the Universal Way is to maintain the integral virtues of the constancy, steadiness and simplicity in one's daily life." - Lao Tzu

The four cardinal virtues, or rules for living life, can provide a framework for a life filled with inner peace and purpose.
A framework for a life filled with inner peace and purpose.
1. Reverence for all Life

This virtue manifests as having unconditional love and positive regard for all creatures in the universe, starting with ourselves, then this will naturally flow out to all others. This reverence is for all life, not just some forms. It is honouring all forms of life, and at its core has an innate spiritual understanding of how the universe truly works - that we are all sparks of the one fire. When we live with reverence for all life, we surrender our need to control and to dominate. We naturally come into heartfelt appreciation and gratitude for all of life. This first virtue is the key to diminishing the ego.

"Affirm this as often as you can, for when you see yourself in a loving way, you have nothing but love to extend outward. And the more you love others, the less you need old excuse patterns, particularly those relating to blame." Wayne Dyer

2. Natural Sincerity

This virtue encompasses kindness and authenticity. To me, it has a feeling of compassion and an all-encompassing love for all beings. When we are sincere and act with integrity, we move towards peace and inner tranquility. Our conscience clear, we don't have the inner niggles over our dishonest actions that can erode a peaceful mind. Much of these four pillars relate to karma, the law of cause and effect, and maintaining equilibrium and impeccability. This virtue is honesty, simplicity, and faithfulness, says Wayne Dyer. It is about being true to yourself and walking your talk.

According to Dyer, if you find this challenging, try affirming, "I no longer need to be insincere or dishonest. This is who I am, and this is how I feel."
Having unconditional love and positive regard for all creatures in the universe.
3. Gentleness

Gentleness is a deeply powerful trait. Often interpreted as weakness, gentleness is sensitivity, respect, and reverence for all life. Perhaps this virtue can be summed up by the Dalai Lama who often says; "my religion is very simple, my religion is kindness." In life, it is far more important to be kind than to be right, and to be kind rather than important. Gentleness is an umbrella for forgiveness, acceptance and love. It is much like the yogic term ahimsa, or non-violence. When we give up being right and being superior, we start accepting ourselves and others, and so much conflict in our lives drops away.

"Gentleness generally implies that you no longer have a strong ego-inspired desire to dominate or control others, which allows you to move into a rhythm with the universe. You cooperate with it, much like a surfer who rides with the waves instead of trying to overpower them. Gentleness means accepting life and people as they are, rather than insisting that they be as you are. As you practice living this way, blame disappears and you enjoy a peaceful world." - Wayne Dyer

"My religion is very simple, my religion is kindness."
4. Supportiveness

When we are supportive of ourselves, with kind words, loving actions and self-care, we are naturally supportive of others. This virtue is the basic tenet of humanity. We are naturally social beings and, at our core, we want to be with others and to help others. Many experiments show how humans are motivated by connection and will move towards this rather than other things. When we give to others, share and support others, we become happy. Our lives become meaningful and our hearts full. Supportiveness is about service. Open hearted service for the sake of helping others and benefiting others, with no thought to our own gain. Supportiveness is also about holding space for another, listening to another, and being there for others. It is radical loving kindness in action. This quote by the poet, Hafiz, sums it up: "Even after all this time, the sun never says to the earth 'you owe me.'"

"The greatest joy comes from giving and serving, so replace your habit of focusing exclusively on yourself and what's in it for you. When you make the shift to supporting others in your life, without expecting anything in return, you'll think less about what you want and find comfort and joy in the act of giving and serving." Wayne Dyer

Let these four virtues fragrance your life, and notice the grace and ease that will come your way. For each one of these virtues brings in a way of being that is light, graceful and flowing and will help you shed destructive, self defeating patterns that sabotage your inner peace and happiness.

"The four cardinal virtues are a road map to the simple truth of the universe. To revere all of life, to live with natural sincerity, to practice gentleness, and to be in service to others is to replicate the energy field from which you originated." Dr Wayne Dyer

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Many centuries ago, Lao Tzu, spoke of the four cardinal virtues, teaching that when we practice them as a way of life, we come to know the truth of the universe.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
A Selfish Argument for Making the World a Better Place – Egoistic Altruism

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Everything is Connected -- Here's How: | Tom Chi | TEDxTaipei

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
The Secrets of Hostage Negotiators | Scott Tillema | TEDxNaperville

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Comparing yourself to others happens at every age, from noting who has the best toys in the preschool sandbox to whose grandkids got into what college. But comparing oneself to others is especially rampant among young adults. Life-changing milestones happen quickly and often-graduations, engagements, career advancement-and it's all on display on social media, the motherlode of FOMO-inducing social comparison.

The technical term for 'comparing yourself to others' is upward comparison. This means comparing ourselves to someone we perceive to be better off or more proficient than ourselves. By contrast, there is also downward comparison, which is comparing ourselves to those worse off or less proficient, like "There but for the grace" or, less eloquently, "Sucks to be them."

Comparisons may be part of human nature-I'm sure cavemen once envied their neighbors' fires and wheels-but when it gets out of hand, it leaves you feeling inadequate and insecure, not to mention depressed and anxious. What to do? We'll cover five ways to stop comparing yourself to others.

5 Ways to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

1. Feel the power.

2. Find your purpose.

3. Reinterpret what's behind material possessions.

4. Purge your phone.

5. Remember you don't have the full picture.

Let's dive deeper into each tip.

Tip #1: Feel the Power

People with power-those in influential or leadership positions-can make decisions, override objections, and have others carry out their decisions.

But power is also a state of mind. Those who feel powerful approach social comparisons differently than those who don't feel powerful, which is to say, they pretty much ignore them.
Take back your power-remember, you are the CEO of your life and choices.
A study in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology induced participants to feel more or less powerful by recalling in detail a time at work when they either had power over another person or someone had power over them.

Next, they read a description of a supposed recent graduate from their university. For some participants, the description was deliberately intimidating, with the fictitious grad racking up many impressive achievements and successes.

Finally, each participant rated themselves on six traits: Academic achievement, intelligence, competence, work ethic, likeability, and success.

Social comparisons magically seem less relevant when you're busy saving the world or otherwise pursuing a goal you truly believe to be worthwhile.

The result? Those who had been induced to feel powerful and then read the about their fictitious peer's FOMO-inducing achievements were more like rubber than glue with social comparisons. Even in the face of an accomplished striver, they still felt good about themselves on the six characteristics.

And what about the low power group? When they compared themselves to the fictitious striver, they felt bad about themselves, rating themselves lower.

So take back your power wherever you might be giving it away unnecessarily. You don't need to turn into a spittle-spewing autocrat with bulging neck veins, but remember you are the CEO of your life and choices.

Tip #2: Find Your Purpose

Worried you can't fake the C-suite attitude? No problem. You can get a similar effect with a different mindset: Purpose.
People with a sense of purpose are less easily swayed by outside influences.
Another study, also in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, found that people with a sense of purpose were less swayed by feedback on social media. It's not to say they didn't notice 'likes' or comments at all, but they didn't rely on them to feed their self-esteem.

So think: Why were you put on this planet? What do you care deeply about? Social comparisons magically seem less relevant when you're busy saving the world or otherwise pursuing a goal you truly believe to be worthwhile.

Tip #3: Reinterpret What's Behind Material Possessions

Okay, now, how to handle comparisons about material possessions-your neighbor's new Tesla, say, or your office frenemy's Birkin bag?

Well, in an individualistic society like the U.S., where personal choice and self-expression are emphasized, people use their possessions to express who they are-Patagonia jackets and Subarus for the NPR crowd, Vans and PBR for hipsters, and so on.

Research shows that this tendency to define ourselves by our consumerism goes into overdrive when our idea of ourselves is threatened. For instance, one study showed that people made to doubt their intelligence suddenly became more interested in buying brainy accessories, like fountain pens and classical music. Likewise, those made to feel powerless became more inclined to buy expensive cars.

One study in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin asked participants to write a brief essay about the three domains of their life-including intelligence, creativity, appearance, career choices, relationships, and more-that made them feel the most confident and certain. By contrast, the other half was asked to write about the three areas of life that made them feel the most doubtful and insecure.
We use 'stuff' to buffer ourselves against uncertainty and doubt.
Once primed, they were asked to fill out a questionnaire about their car and whether it expressed how they saw themselves as a person or was simply utilitarian. They agreed or disagreed with statements like "My car makes me feel good about myself," and "My car helps me establish the kind of person I see myself to be," as well as statements like, "My car makes it easier for me to structure and organize my daily life."

The result? When made to feel doubtful and uncertain, participants rated their cars as a way to define themselves.

In short, we use stuff to buffer ourselves against uncertainty and doubt. All this is to say that you can read between the lines when you see your friend's new drool-inducing shoes, bag, jeans, or car. You're not trying to be catty, of course, but can quietly reframe their flaunting a new purchase as wearing the universal struggle with self-doubt on their sleeve.

Tip #4: Purge Your Phone

Unfollow any blogger or guru who makes you feel anxious and inadequate. Delete the apps that drag you down. If you spiral into an insecure funk every time you scroll through Instagram, get it off your phone. You can always reinstall it. But try an experiment-go without for a few days, and see if your self-image magically re-inflates.

Tip #5: Remember You Don't Have the Full Picture

By now we know that social media is the curated highlight reel of others' lives. But so is everything else we see in public. Your coworker's big house might be worth less than he owes on it. Your friend's new promotion might be inducing stomach ulcers and a secret wish to quit and make artisanal goat cheese.

Comparing the mundane, or worse, the low-lights of our lives only to the publicly available lives of others isn't fair. Refrain from comparing your apples to others' apple pie.

Another way to look at this is to remember that you and the object of your comparison are two completely different people. You have different personalities, aspirations, mindsets, histories, drives, vices, and downfalls. In other words, you are unique, and therefore, by definition, incomparable.

Unless you decide you're both awesome and amazing. Then, compare away.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Five Ways to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Comparing yourself to others happens at every age, from noting who has the best toys in the preschool sandbox to whose grandkids got into what college. But comparing oneself to others is especially rampant among young adults. Life-changing milestones happen quickly and often-graduations, engagements, career advancement-and it's all on display on social media, the motherlode of FOMO-inducing social comparison.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Increase your self-awareness with one simple fix | Tasha Eurich | TEDxMileHigh

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Ancient Secrets of a Master Healer: Deeper Healing Solutions | Dr Clint Rogers | TEDxWilmington

# data[].attributes.body
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/PurPoseWebinar

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/greensshirt/

email greensshirt.existence@gmail.com

Discord: GreenSShirt#3327