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By a fire in Alaska
Music: Paul Bunyan theme music

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“Whoooooooshh” is the noise that the snow made every single morning here in Alaska. Every single morning I wake up with an aching back and legs because of all that hard labor work I used to do back in the day

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“Whoooooooshh” is the noise that the snow made every single morning here in Alaska. Every single morning I wake up with an aching back and legs because of all that hard labor work I used to do back in the day

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SOUND: wind blowing

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Making the foundation of the United States sure was hard! 

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Making the foundation of the United States sure was hard! 

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I bet you are all wondering what I am doing here in Alaska. Well I will tell you...why I came all the way up north. 

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I bet you are all wondering what I am doing here in Alaska. Well I will tell you...why I came all the way up north. 

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I was born in a small town called Bangor, Maine.

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I was born in a small town called Bangor, Maine.

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Apparently I was hauled over here by 5-10 giant birds. I was standing at about 5 feet tall at my first week of birth.

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Apparently I was hauled over here by 5-10 giant birds. I was standing at about 5 feet tall at my first week of birth.

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Sound: tweeting

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I did not have any real parents. Most people say I was a giant miracle

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I did not have any real parents. Most people say I was a giant miracle

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The whole town loved and cared about me they knitted my clothes and made me giant meals. 

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The whole town loved and cared about me they knitted my clothes and made me giant meals. 

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However once I started to get older I realized how many resources I was depleting. I would make other people suffer just so I could eat in my town. My people did not deserve this

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However once I started to get older I realized how many resources I was depleting. I would make other people suffer just so I could eat in my town. My people did not deserve this

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That is when I decided to go to Minnesota so I can start my own civilization

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That is when I decided to go to Minnesota so I can start my own civilization

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 However before I left the people of my town offered me the best gift I could ever ask for. They offered me a giant double header ax. I took it without a hesitation but one thing I am yet to understand is why of all things would they give me an ax! That is so dangerous for a young man. However at the time I did not think much of it. I somehow knew that ax would have a great meaning in my life.

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 However before I left the people of my town offered me the best gift I could ever ask for. They offered me a giant double header ax. I took it without a hesitation but one thing I am yet to understand is why of all things would they give me an ax! That is so dangerous for a young man. However at the time I did not think much of it. I somehow knew that ax would have a great meaning in my life.

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So as I started to Minnesota I chopped every single thing I saw in sight no matter what it was. I destroyed towns on top on towns with my ax. I was an out of control kid!

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So as I started to Minnesota I chopped every single thing I saw in sight no matter what it was. I destroyed towns on top on towns with my ax. I was an out of control kid!

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Finally on my way to Minnesota I was stopped by some nice men who also owned axes. They called themselves lumberjacks. 

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Finally on my way to Minnesota I was stopped by some nice men who also owned axes. They called themselves lumberjacks. 

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 They dressed in flannel button up shirts and they had hair from head to toe

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 They dressed in flannel button up shirts and they had hair from head to toe

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They stopped and talked to me with a strict tone. They said “Are you the man who has been destroying all of the of the middle of the US of A”. I responded umm yes I am just testing out my new ax. The men were very furious with me and they threatened to take away my new ax and burn it if it did not use it properly. .

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They stopped and talked to me with a strict tone. They said “Are you the man who has been destroying all of the of the middle of the US of A”. I responded umm yes I am just testing out my new ax. The men were very furious with me and they threatened to take away my new ax and burn it if it did not use it properly. .

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So from then on these kind Lumberjacks taught me the business of lumber.And before you know it I was cutting down all the trees of the Northwest side of the United States

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So from then on these kind Lumberjacks taught me the business of lumber.And before you know it I was cutting down all the trees of the Northwest side of the United States

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I became a celebrity across the country. It fueled my energy. As I grew older I became more experienced with helping out people. I felt like I finally found my calling. Everything was going amazing. 

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I became a celebrity across the country. It fueled my energy. As I grew older I became more experienced with helping out people. I felt like I finally found my calling. Everything was going amazing. 

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The only problem was that I had nobody to share my triumphing moments with along with that feel good feeling of helping others. I continued to work through my loneliness

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The only problem was that I had nobody to share my triumphing moments with along with that feel good feeling of helping others. I continued to work through my loneliness

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One very cold day I set out to clear the Southwest when I heard a noise of what sounded like a “mooooooooo”. 

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One very cold day I set out to clear the Southwest when I heard a noise of what sounded like a “mooooooooo”. 

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Sound: MOOOOOO

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 I looked all around until in the corner of my eye I saw a blue ox. He was small. I figured he must have turned blue because of the extreme cold. He was literally frozen solid

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 I looked all around until in the corner of my eye I saw a blue ox. He was small. I figured he must have turned blue because of the extreme cold. He was literally frozen solid

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In all honesty my first thought was wow. That looks like some good protein. My first intention was to eat him. I put tied up on top of the fire held up by 2 sticks

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In all honesty my first thought was wow. That looks like some good protein. My first intention was to eat him. I put tied up on top of the fire held up by 2 sticks

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I tied up on top of the fire held up by 2 sticks.However my knot must have not been tight enough because he fell right onto the fire!

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I tied up on top of the fire held up by 2 sticks.However my knot must have not been tight enough because he fell right onto the fire!

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I thought he was dead meat but instead he sprang up and gave me a big ole ox kiss. I was so amused by him I decided to take him with me to be my companion

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I thought he was dead meat but instead he sprang up and gave me a big ole ox kiss. I was so amused by him I decided to take him with me to be my companion

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 I fed him almost as much as I fed myself and before you know it he was huge! 

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 I fed him almost as much as I fed myself and before you know it he was huge! 

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Together we did some pretty dumb stuff but we also did some pretty amazing things too. Like that one time we helped those real nice loggers by unjamming the river, and that one time we both made the whole Mississippi river.  I am telling you we were some team

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Together we did some pretty dumb stuff but we also did some pretty amazing things too. Like that one time we helped those real nice loggers by unjamming the river, and that one time we both made the whole Mississippi river.  I am telling you we were some team

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We even made a little bit of the rocky mountains that one time we were rough housing. Man those were the days. 

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We even made a little bit of the rocky mountains that one time we were rough housing. Man those were the days. 

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We eventually did so much we overslept on for 3 months!

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We eventually did so much we overslept on for 3 months!

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Sound: Snoring

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And then when we woke up and there were so many new contraptions! It was like I slept for 10 years!

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And then when we woke up and there were so many new contraptions! It was like I slept for 10 years!

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I was so scared. Babe and I went into the city and to my surprise everyone looked very scared of me. . I do not know if it was my enormous height, the blue ox, or the bugs and snakes that were crawled onto my beard during my sleep but everyone was terrified.

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I was so scared. Babe and I went into the city and to my surprise everyone looked very scared of me. . I do not know if it was my enormous height, the blue ox, or the bugs and snakes that were crawled onto my beard during my sleep but everyone was terrified.

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 I tried to explain who I was but nobody seemed to remember. We were driven out of every city we came across.

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 I tried to explain who I was but nobody seemed to remember. We were driven out of every city we came across.

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Babe and I, the people who made the foundation of the United States have been forgotten. 

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Babe and I, the people who made the foundation of the United States have been forgotten. 

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Sound: Upsetting music

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A couple weeks later we decided to go up North to Alaska and start a new legacy.

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A couple weeks later we decided to go up North to Alaska and start a new legacy.

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Here Blue was lucky enough to find himself an ox of his own. Together they started a family

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Here Blue was lucky enough to find himself an ox of his own. Together they started a family

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 As for me, I am still trying to help people to the best of my abilities. I am mining oil, building houses, helping the elderly get around, I am doing everything I can to help people in need.

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 As for me, I am still trying to help people to the best of my abilities. I am mining oil, building houses, helping the elderly get around, I am doing everything I can to help people in need.

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Day by day I look at my ax hung up in the wall in the living room of my home. I just reminisce of the times Blue and I had.

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Day by day I look at my ax hung up in the wall in the living room of my home. I just reminisce of the times Blue and I had.

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Boats and boating--Equipment and supplies

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Each day I get more and more tempted of picking that up and going out to clear the forests

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Each day I get more and more tempted of picking that up and going out to clear the forests

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Unfortunately, I hear people are running out of trees to cut. I feel like someone should go out and replant those trees… I feel like the person responsible for cutting them down should be responsible for that … “BLUE, we are going out!”

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Unfortunately, I hear people are running out of trees to cut. I feel like someone should go out and replant those trees… I feel like the person responsible for cutting them down should be responsible for that … “BLUE, we are going out!”

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Music: Paul Bunyan theme song