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THE WEBSITE TALKS ABOUT THE DIFFERENT STAGES OF GRIEF FROM THE PERSON WHO WILL GRIEVE A LOVED ONE'S POINT OF VIEW, WHEREAS THE BOOK TALKS ABOUT THE DIFFERENT STAGES  OF GRIEF FROM THE ACTUAL PERSON FACING THEIR MORTALITY.  IN ALL OF MY EXAMPLES  I WILL DISCUSS THE DIFFERENCE FROM EACH POINT OF VIEW.

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WHEN A PERSON IS FACING THE FACT THAT A LOVED ONE IS GOING TO DIE, OR HAS DIED THEY MAY GO THROUGH DENIAL. THEY MAY NOT BELIEVE IT IS REALLY HAPPENING, OR THIS IS ONLY A TEMPORARY SITUATION. THIS FEELING IS LIMITED, AS ONE MOVES THROUGH THE FIRST WAVES OF PAIN.

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NOT EVERYONE GOES THROUGH THESE 5 STAGES. THERE ARE PATTERNS TO GRIEF, OR LOSS. PEOPLE TEND TO JUDGE OTHERS IF THEY DO NOT "GRIEVE" OR "ACT" IN A CERTAIN WAY. IT IS EASY FOR SOMEONE TO SIT BACK AND SAY "IF THAT WERE ME I WOULD...." BUT YOU NEVER KNOW HOW YOU WOULD TRULY REACT TO SOMETHING UNTIL YOU ARE FACED WITH IT YOURSELF. JUST BECAUSE PEOPLE GRIEVE DIFFERENTLY DOES NOT MEAN THEY DO NOT FEEL THE SAME. I USED TO THINK I WAS A COLD HEARTED PERSON, BECAUSE WHEN PEOPLE I LOVED DIES I REALLY DID NOT SHED MANY TEARS. I WAS THE STRONG ONE THAT HELD IT TOGETHER FOR THE REST OF MY FAMILY. I DID FEEL THE PAIN AND SUFFERING OF NEVER SEEING THAT PERSON AGAIN, OR NEVER TALKING TO THEM AGAIN BUT I JUST DID NOT SHOW IT. IT IS WEIRD I WEAR MY EMOTIONS ON MY SLEEVE EVERYDAY BUT AS SOON AS SOMEONE IS HURT IN THE HOSPITAL, OR DYING THOSE EMOTIONS ARE GONE AND I KICK INTO LIKE BUSINESS MODE. WHAT I MEAN BY THAT IS I AM THE ONE TALKING TO MEDICAL STAFF ABOUT DNR, LAST WISHES, ALL THIS IMPORTANT STUFF I TAKE IT ON ONE BECAUSE I AM THE MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL IN THE FAMILY SO I KNOW WHAT THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT, AND TWO BECAUSE I KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO MAKE THESE DECISIONS WHILE WANTING NOTHING MORE BUT TO WAKE UP FROM THIS BAD DREAM. THIS ARTICLE SHOWED ME THAT IT IS OK TO GRIEVE THE WAY I DO AND MAYBE IT IS MY WAY OF KEEPING MYSELF TOGETHER BY TAKING ON EVERYTHING.

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SOME PEOPLE FEEL ANXIOUS, DISBELIEF, SOME MAY EVEN LACK EMOTION AT ALL, SOME HAVE DENIAL OR DEPRESSION/ANGER FOR MANY MONTHS AFTER THE DEATH OF A LOVED ONE. DEATH BRINGS OUT THE MOST RAW EMOTIONS IN US, AND WE DO NOT ALWAYS KNOW HOW TO FEEL OR WHAT TO FEEL AT TIMES. IT IS A DAY BY DAY PROCESS THAT EVENTUALLY THE PAIN JUST GETS EASIER TO LIVE WITH.

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TEMPERAMENT, AND PERSONALITY OF THE PERSON PRIOR TO THEIR LOSS CAN GIVE AN IDEA HOW THAT PERSON WILL GRIEVE.

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THE DYING PERSON HAS NOW ACCEPTED THEIR MORTALITY, AND MAY WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE, PAIN MAY NOT BE PRESENT ANYMORE. THIS IS THE FINAL RESTING STAGE BEFORE DEATH. SOME PEOPLE STRUGGLE UP UNTIL THEIR LAST BREATH TRYING TO HANG ONTO LIFE, NEVER ACCEPTING THEIR FATE. ACCEPTING THEIR DEATH, OR NOT MAY HAVE A HUGE IMPACT ON THE PEACEFULNESS OF THEIR DEATH.

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NOT EVERYONE REACHES THIS STAGE.THIS IS TIME MARKED BY WITHDRAWAL, AND CALM, IT IS NOT A HAPPY TIME, BUT NOT THE SAME AS DEPRESSION EITHER. SOCIAL INTERACTIONS ARE LIMITED IN THIS STAGE

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THE PERSON MAY HAVE HOPE THAT DEATH CAN BE PROLONGED, THEY TOO MAY MAKE DEALS WITH GOD TO GIVE THEM MORE TIME HERE ON EARTH OR LET ME SEE THIS OR THAT PERSON FIRST THEN YOU CAN TAKE ME.

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THIS IS A NORMAL REACTION TO FEELING HELPLESS TO DO ANYTHING TO SAVE THEIR LOVED ONES LIFE. THEY MAY TRY TO MAKE A DEAL WITH GOD AND PROMISE UNREALISTIC THINGS IN RETURN TO MAKING THEIR LOVED ONE BETTER. THEY MAY ALSO START TO BLAME THEMSELVES AND THINK HAD I DONE THIS OR THAT MAYBE THIS WOULD NOT HAVE TURNED OUT THIS WAY.

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AS THE DENIAL, AND ISOLATION PASS, REALITY AND THE PAIN RE-SURFACE. THE INTENSE EMOTION IS EXPRESSED AS ANGER. ANGER CAN BE DIRECTED AT FRIENDS, FAMILY, STRANGERS, OBJECTS OR EVEN THE DECEASED LOVED ONE. THE ANGRY PERSON MAY BLAME MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS FOR NOT DOING ALL THEY COULD, OR THEY MAY BLAME THE DECEASED FOR LEAVING THEM.

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WHEN THE PERSON REALIZES THEIR DIAGNOSIS OR ILLNESS CAN NOT BE CHANGED, THEY STOP DEING IT AND MOVE INTO ANGER. THEY MAY AIM THIS ANGER/HOSTILITY TOWARDS DOCTORS, NURSES, FAMILY, AND FRIENDS. THEY MAY EVEN BE MAD AT GOD FOR DOING THIS TO THEM.

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THERE ARE TWO TYPES OF DEPRESSION. 1. SADNESS/REGRET, WORRYING ABOUT FUNERAL EXPENSES, AND NEGLECTING OTHERS. KIND WORDS, AND/OR REASSURANCE IS NEEDED. 2. MAKING THE PREPARATIONS TO BID A LOVED ONE GOODBYE IS A VERY DEPRESSING, AND HARD TIME, A SIMPLE HUG TO SHOW YOUR SUPPORT FOR THEM DURING THIS TIME IS NEEDED.

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THE PERSON ACCEPTS THEIR DIAGNOSIS/ILLNESS. THIS PERSON MAY BECOME SILENT, REFUSE TO HAVE VISITORS, OR SPEND MOST OF THEIR TIME CRYING. THIS IS A NORMAL REACTION. THEY MAY BE DISTANCING THEMSELVES FROM LOVED ONES. TRYING TO CHEER THIS PERSON UP IS NOT A GOOD IDEA; INSTEAD GIVE THEM A CHANCE TO GIFT ITEMS/PROPERTY, OR RESOLVE ANY ISSUES THEY FEEL NEED TO BE ADDRESSED BEFORE DEATH.

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WHEN A PERSON IS FACED WITH THEIR OWN MORTALITY FROM A DIAGNOSIS OR ILLNESS, THEY MAY DENY IT IS REAL, OR THAT THE DOCTOR DOES NOT KNOW WHAT HE/SHE IS TALKING ABOUT. THIS DENIAL USUALLY IS REPLACED WITH A HEIGHTENED AWARENESS OF UNFINISHED BUSINESS SUCH AS FINANCIAL CONCERNS, OR WORRYING ABOUT FRIENDS, AND FAMILY AFTER THEIR DEATH.