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What Do Children Need Most from Parents Right Now?

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What Do Children Need Most from Parents Right Now?

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psychologytoday.com

Children are experiencing a wide array of emotions right now and those feelings are manifesting in a variety of ways. Children could be experiencing fear, loneliness, loss, and anger (just to name a few) and those feelings may be manifesting in less than desirable behaviors…especially as we are coexisting in close quarters. Check-in with your child regularly regarding how they are feeling, but do not force a long conversation if your child is not in a place to have one. Children process emotion differently than adults so the best thing we can do is to honor that and create the supportive space they need to process. Allow space for your child’s feeling. Children can appear to display emotions in “spurts” and this is perfectly normal. A child may want to stop talking with you as you discuss world events and choose to go and play; this is how children attempt to make sense of their world.

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This is a column to share photos you've taken.

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This is a column to share photos you've taken.

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How to start a Sourdough Starter | BAKING FROM SC…: https://youtu.be/ccrFtGvTrqw

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cnn.com - Make a Facemask
Here are step-by-step instructions -- based on guidance from the Vanderbilt University Medical Center and Froedtert & Medical College of Wisconsin.
By Scottie Andrew, CNN
Illustrations: Leah Abucayan, CNN

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Built In: This Mental Health Chatbot Uses Humor to Get Users to Open Up. https://builtin.com/healthcare-technology/healthtech-chatbot-woebot-coronavirus

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Emotional intelligence - life-long survival skills

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Emotional intelligence - life-long survival skills

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mp.weixin.qq.com/

Link

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Emotional Intelligence - Lifelong Survival Skills!

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https://lilluna.com/homemade-indian-fry-bread/
Delicious Homemade Fry Bread—Aka “Navajo Tacos” Or “Indian Bread”—Pillows Of Dough, Fried Until Crispy On The Outside And Soft On The Inside. Make It A Meal By Adding Sweet Or Savory Toppings!
Recipe
纳瓦霍人煎面包美味的自制炸面包——又名“纳瓦霍玉米饼”或“印度面包”——是用面团做成的枕头状，外酥内软。加入甜的或咸的配料，使它成为一顿饭!配方

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How different cultures shape children’s personalities in different ways 如何以不同的方式，不同的文化来塑造孩子的个性 

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How different cultures shape children’s personalities in different ways 如何以不同的方式，不同的文化来塑造孩子的个性 

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Key points

We found that the way parents discipline their children is strongly influenced by these social values, and probably serves to perpetuate these values from one generation to the next.

For example, compared with parents in individualist cultures, collectivist parents are much more likely, when reprimanding their kids, to direct them to “think about” their misbehavior, and how it might negatively impact those around them.

This seems to promote group harmony and prepare a child to thrive in a collectivist society. At the same time, if you’re constantly being told to think about how your actions impact others, you might also be more likely to feel anxiety, guilt and shame.
Indeed, we’ve found that kids in collectivist cultures tend to express higher levels of sadness, fear and discomfort than children growing up in individualist societies.

A second set of values we studied was indulgence vs. restraint.
Some cultures, such as the United States, Mexico and Chile, tend to permit and promote self-gratification. Others — such as South Korea, Belgium and Russia — encourage restraint in the face of temptation.
These values seem to be connected to a specific set of parenting goals.
In particular, parents in indulgent societies tend to emphasize the importance of developing self-esteem and independence. For example, they expect children to entertain themselves and fall asleep on their own. When one of their kids misbehaves, they’ll often suggest ways he or she can make amends and try to repair the damage.

The message kids may get from this kind of treatment is that they’re the ones in control of their happiness, and that they should be able to fix their own mistakes. At the same time, when kids are expected to pursue gratification, they may be more likely to impulsively seek immediate rewards — whether it’s eating candy before dinner or grabbing a toy off a shelf at a store — before getting permission.
Meanwhile, in societies that prioritize restraint, parents were more likely to shout or swear when disciplining their children.
This might make them more obedient. But it might also cause children to be less optimistic and less likely to enjoy themselves.

Parents seem to be motivated to best prepare their kids for the world they’re likely to inhabit, and what works in one culture might not necessarily work well in another.

Read the full article here [may not be available in all locations]

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As early as the fifth century B.C., the Greek historian Thucydides contrasted the self-control and stoicism of Spartans with the more indulgent and freethinking citizens of Athens.

Today, unique behaviors and characteristics seem ingrained in certain cultures.

Italians wildly gesticulate when they talk. Dutch children are notably easygoing and less fussy. Russians rarely smile in public.

As developmental psychologists, we're fascinated by these differences, how they take shape and how they get passed along from one generation to the next.

Our work explores the way a society's values influences the choices parents make - and how this, in turn, influences who their kids become. Although genetics certainly matter, the way you behave isn't hard-wired.

In the past two decades, researchers have shown how culture can shape your personality.

In 2005, psychologist Robert McCrae and his colleagues were able to document pronounced differences in the personalities of people living in different parts of the world. For example, adults from European cultures tended to be more outgoing and open to new experiences than those from Asian cultures. Within Europe, they found that people from Northern Europe were more conscientious than their peers in Southern Europe.

Recently, we've been able to trace some of these differences to early childhood.

Parenting - perhaps not surprisingly - played a role.

Working with colleagues from 14 countries, we looked at the way broad societal values influenced how parents raise their children. We then studied how these different parenting styles shaped the behavior and personality of kids. (Our book, " Toddlers, Parents, and Culture," was published in November.)

We did this primarily by administering questionnaires to parents around the world, asking them to describe their daily routines, hopes for their kids and methods of discipline. We then asked them to detail the behaviors of their children.

We also relied on the work of Dutch social psychologist Geert Hofstede, who, in the 1970s, asked IBM employees around the world about factors that led to work satisfaction.

We were able to compare his findings to ours, and we were surprised to see that his results correlated with our own. The cultural values that were revealed through work preferences in the 1970s could be seen in parenting practices and child temperament 40 years later.

This is important: It shows cultural values are relatively enduring, and seem to have an effect on how kids develop over time.

Perhaps the most well-known of these broad cultural values are individualism and collectivism.

In some societies, such as the United States and Netherlands, people are largely driven by pursuits that benefit themselves. They're expected to seek personal recognition and boost their own social or financial status.

In more collectivist societies, such as South Korea and Chile, high value is placed on the well-being of the larger group - typically their family, but also their workplace or country.

We found that the way parents discipline their children is strongly influenced by these social values, and probably serves to perpetuate these values from one generation to the next.

For example, compared with parents in individualist cultures, collectivist parents are much more likely, when reprimanding their kids, to direct them to "think about" their misbehavior, and how it might negatively impact those around them.

This seems to promote group harmony and prepare a child to thrive in a collectivist society. At the same time, if you're constantly being told to think about how your actions impact others, you might also be more likely to feel anxiety, guilt and shame.

Indeed, we've found that kids in collectivist cultures tend to express higher levels of sadness, fear and discomfort than children growing up in individualist societies.

A second set of values we studied was indulgence vs. restraint.

Some cultures, such as the United States, Mexico and Chile, tend to permit and promote self-gratification. Others - such as South Korea, Belgium and Russia - encourage restraint in the face of temptation.

These values seem to be connected to a specific set of parenting goals.

In particular, parents in indulgent societies tend to emphasize the importance of developing self-esteem and independence. For example, they expect children to entertain themselves and fall asleep on their own. When one of their kids misbehaves, they'll often suggest ways he or she can make amends and try to repair the damage.

The message kids may get from this kind of treatment is that they're the ones in control of their happiness, and that they should be able to fix their own mistakes. At the same time, when kids are expected to pursue gratification, they may be more likely to impulsively seek immediate rewards - whether it's eating candy before dinner or grabbing a toy off a shelf at a store - before getting permission.

Meanwhile, in societies that prioritize restraint, parents were more likely to shout or swear when disciplining their children.

This might make them more obedient. But it might also cause children to be less optimistic and less likely to enjoy themselves.

Parents seem to be motivated to best prepare their kids for the world they're likely to inhabit, and what works in one culture might not necessarily work well in another.

But as our world becomes more interconnected, this diversity of parenting approaches may dwindle. Most countries have become more individualistic over the past 50 years - a shift that's most pronounced in countries that have experienced the most economic development.

Nonetheless, there's still a huge difference in parenting styles and childhood development across cultures - a testament to the enduring influence of societal values.

Putnam is professor of psychology at Bowdoin College. Gartstein is professor of psychology at Washington State University. This report was originally published on theconversation.com.

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Perspective | How different cultures shape children's personalities in different ways

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As early as the fifth century B.C., the Greek historian Thucydides contrasted the self-control and stoicism of Spartans with the more indulgent and freethinking citizens of Athens. Today, unique behaviors and characteristics seem ingrained in certain cultures. Italians wildly gesticulate when they talk. Dutch children are notably easygoing and less fussy.

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A new study examines a model of how anger is perpetuated in relationships.

Anger is a negative feeling state ranging from mild irritation to intense fury and rage. Anger may be elicited by frustration, verbal insult, physical aggression, perceptions of unfairness and injustice, etc. Because anger is also linked to aggression, anger has the potential to cause harm. For those in relationships, angry feelings might also fuel a vicious cycle of mutual anger and destructive behaviors.

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Phone/internet counseling - Chinese or English

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Phone/internet counseling - Chinese or English

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New Hongqiao Henuo Medical opens "telephone consultation" and "free online consultation" services
Shanghai Xinhongqiao Henuo Comprehensive Clinic
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021-33361668

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Share poetry, written thoughts, journals, or other writings. 

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Share poetry, written thoughts, journals, or other writings. 