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something good about this speech is when she is talking about things people want to hear like how she lived her life.

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she makes sound in her letters like she said the car honks and you can hear it in your mind

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she makes sound in her letters like she said the car honks and you can hear it in your mind

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Jose A

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i liked both of them but the fist had more eye contact and the 2 one had slant

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i liked both of them but the fist had more eye contact and the 2 one had slant

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Jose A

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she talks about music and how it works in her life

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she talks about music and how it works in her life

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Jose a

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she is standing tall and speaks good and makes eye contact

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she is standing tall and speaks good and makes eye contact

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Jose

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the girl talked about her life and how she is passion about

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the girl talked about her life and how she is passion about

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Jose A

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in the first speech, if she was more animated and used more emotion when explaining her lose would be better. 

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in the first speech, if she was more animated and used more emotion when explaining her lose would be better. 

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Logen

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Speech one she could improve pronouncing words.

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She used sensory detail to describe sounds like pencil tapping so the audience can imagine the pencil tapping that's making a beat. Also the car honks or noises it helps the audience imagine it.

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the first one because she didn't make much eye contact and that even though she had a good volume she was kind of mumbling 

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the first one because she didn't make much eye contact and that even though she had a good volume she was kind of mumbling 

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brissia

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The student had examples and details about music. She used sensory details by her hearing beats from pencil taps and car honks and tries to make music.

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In the first 1 she was kind of mumbling and I couldn't really hear what she was saying.

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In the first 1 she was kind of mumbling and I couldn't really hear what she was saying.

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the student used sensory details to explain her passion by saying how she connects with it. she also uses sensory details to explain how much she loves it

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the student used sensory details to explain her passion by saying how she connects with it. she also uses sensory details to explain how much she loves it

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brissia

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The student's use of sensory information to illustrate her enthusiasm for music is through describing the connection she has with it. She claims, for example, that she makes music when she hears a beat or a tone, and she also uses them to describe how many instruments she plays.

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The student's use of sensory information to illustrate her enthusiasm for music is through describing the connection she has with it. She claims, for example, that she makes music when she hears a beat or a tone, and she also uses them to describe how many instruments she plays.

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Logen

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She uses good sensory details and has a good tone

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She uses good sensory details and has a good tone

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In the second speech she could improve in how fast or slow she talks.

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I think the first speech could use a little more help because she sometimes couldn't speak very clearly and her connections that she has with her passion aren't as good as the connections the second speech has.

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The first speaker could improve on pronouncing and projecting their voice. The speaker would slur their words and did not project their voice.

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In my opinion the second speech because she could use more sensory details and pause in a point of it, or add more motion to it. 

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In my opinion the second speech because she could use more sensory details and pause in a point of it, or add more motion to it. 

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The student uses sensory details by showing the beauty of music. She talks about how she can find music in little things like tapping a pencil.

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The student used sensory details by explaining the passion she has about music and the connection she with it.

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She described how she found music in everything around her and listed what she found music in. She said how much she loved music and why she loved it.

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The student used sensory details by giving the readers scenarios that help them imagine how her passion about music started and why she is so into it.

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she use sensory details to describe music and every day sounds.

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she use sensory details to describe music and every day sounds.

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ken :The speech that I think could use a bit of improvement would be the second one. I say this because I personally think that she could add a bit more of figurative language to add mood to her speech and to make it pop up more and not sound like a normal speech

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ken :The speech that I think could use a bit of improvement would be the second one. I say this because I personally think that she could add a bit more of figurative language to add mood to her speech and to make it pop up more and not sound like a normal speech

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In the first speech, she slurred her words sometimes, which made it hard to understand what she was saying.

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The speaker had a volume that could be heard by the audience. She was also stand up straight and had a good posture.

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She uses sensory details that describe everyday sounds. She explains how even in a "silent" room, there is music.

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ken :The way that the student used sensory details to explain her passion for music is that she explains the connect that she has with it.  For example she says that when she hears a beat or a tone she makes music with it and she also uses them to explain how many instruments she plays

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ken :The way that the student used sensory details to explain her passion for music is that she explains the connect that she has with it.  For example she says that when she hears a beat or a tone she makes music with it and she also uses them to explain how many instruments she plays

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 ken: The way that the student uses sensory details to explain her passion is by using it to actually tell how she enjoys music. For example she says that when she hears something that has a beat or tone she makes music out of it.

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 ken: The way that the student uses sensory details to explain her passion is by using it to actually tell how she enjoys music. For example she says that when she hears something that has a beat or tone she makes music out of it.

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her volume is very good. she really knows how to get her message across. 

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her volume is very good. she really knows how to get her message across. 

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Logen

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She had detail in and information that supported her with the speech.

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her volume is good. so is her grammar and the way she delivers the speech is good.

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her volume is good. so is her grammar and the way she delivers the speech is good.

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brissia

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she had a good speaking voice the entire time and looked up from her speech when she needed to

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The student uses sensory details to help readers imagine the scenarios she is giving about music. For example, she talks about how music is everywhere, and gives examples of what she hears that others may not.

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a good thing about this speech is the sensory details she has on her speech and also how she gives some background history about her life.

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The speaker had good posture and she made eye contact with the listeners.

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A good thing about the speech is the way the speakers stays on topic and speaks clearly and has good transitions. The speaker also has a good posture and makes good eye contact with the audience.

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A thing was good about her speech is that she gives eye contact through out her speech

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A thing was good about her speech is that she gives eye contact through out her speech

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one good thing about her speech is that she use a loud voice, other one is that she pause, and the way she speak she show the importance of her speech based in the tone of her voice.

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one good thing about her speech is that she use a loud voice, other one is that she pause, and the way she speak she show the importance of her speech based in the tone of her voice.

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She stands up straight with good posture. She looks at the audience more than she looks down at her notes.

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She used metaphors and gave a little background history before she joined AVID.

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the way she says and pronounces things and how she stands and her posture

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ken: A thing that is good about the way that she delivers the speech is that she speaks clearly and when she is speaking she use different tones to get the point out.

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ken: A thing that is good about the way that she delivers the speech is that she speaks clearly and when she is speaking she use different tones to get the point out.

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the fact that she talks about something people/her are passionate about and how she talks about it and makes it relate to her personal life

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ken :A thing that is good is that she is using figurative language to add sensory details which connect with her overall topic

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ken :A thing that is good is that she is using figurative language to add sensory details which connect with her overall topic

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SKX6-J6CR-Q

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L5xP0u5lEvM