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Dating apps and sites are generally for people who are 18 and over because of the safety issues. Some people use online dating to connect with people so they can scam them, stalk them or trick them into sex.

Online dating apps and sites are sometimes highly sexualised spaces where adults are looking to get into sexually explicit chat or to hook up. Being young and new to online dating can lead to you being pressured into sending nudes, or joining in sexual activity before you are ready. As well as making you feel uncomfortable or unsafe, this can be illegal.

Lying about your age can put you at real risk, so stay truthful. It can also get the adult you are talking to into trouble.

Remember, it is always OK to say no if someone asks you to do something you don't want to do, or if you don't trust what they are telling you.

If you are old enough for online dating, it's still important to take steps to protect yourself from danger and to look out for suspicious behaviour.

Privacy settings and personal information

Check the privacy settings on all your accounts (not just the ones you use for dating) and limit who can see information and contact you. Don't include personal details like your full name, address and phone number in your profile.

It's OK to share your favourite music, movie or team, but don't give out personal information like where you live, study, play sport, work or go to relax - at least until you know someone very well. Even then, you should be super careful. Make sure you have really sussed them out first - and watch out for the sneaky catfishes (tips on that next).

Watch out!

These are some of the big online dating risks - click on the links to find more information.

'Catfishing' is when someone sets up a fake profile or pretends to be someone you know (or even a celebrity) so they can trick you into a fake relationship. They may catfish you because they think it's funny or because they want to be mean and make you feel bad about yourself. They may encourage you to tell them your secrets so they can embarrass you by sharing them with others. They could even try to get you to share your personal details so they can scam you or steal your identity.

'Image-based abuse' is when someone shares (or threatens to share) a nude photo or video of you online, which is illegal if you are under 18. It is also illegal when you are 18+ if you have not given your permission for the intimate content to be shared. They may do it to be mean, to boast, or to blackmail you into sending them money or more intimate images.

'Grooming' is when someone builds a secret online friendship with a young person to trick or persuade them into getting sexual. Often they pretend to be someone the same age, but they are much older. Or they pretend to be a girl when they are really a guy (or the other way around). At first they may seem very nice, but it's just to make you think you can trust them. They may talk about your appearance and body and very personal topics. They could start sending pictures or videos they say are 'sexy'. Then they ask you to send nude photos or get intimate over a webcam. They may record and share this content with other abusers who stalk children and young people (these people are known as 'paedophiles'). It can be very scary and make you feel upset and unsafe for a long time, especially if the photos or videos show up online.

Signs that an online connection may be 'fishy' or fake

They don't seem to use their social media accounts much.

The way they chat or act does not seem to match their profile.

They seem to know a lot about you and be interested in all the same things.

They want you to send photos or live videos of yourself but always have excuses for their own webcam not working, so you can't check what they really look like.

TIP: If things don't seem right, use a Google reverse image search to check that their profile image is not somewhere else online under a different name.

Check more signs to look for and tips for protecting yourself from unsafe or unwanted contact.

You might also like to read extra tips for lesbian, gay, bi, trans, queer and/or intersex young people.

Are you being recorded?

If you do connect with someone online, remember you can never be sure that your conversations or videos aren't being recorded.

It is not OK to record, screenshot or share content without the consent of the person being shown.

TIP: Check out the SBS television drama The Hunting if you want to find out more about online sexual intimacy, sharing nudes and consent (including some of the big risks).

Making connections in person

It is best to talk to a parent or another trusted adult if you are planning to meet up with someone in person who you have connected with online.

If you decide to go ahead, follow these tips to improve your personal safety:

Always meet and stay in a busy public place.

Tell someone else the name of the person you are meeting, where you are going and when you will be back - and stay in touch so they know you are OK.

Take your (fully charged) mobile phone with you.

Stay sober and look out for anything suspicious.

Don't be afraid to leave if you feel uncomfortable or unsafe.

What to do if things get weird

There's a lot of help available - click on the links to find more information.

If you run into trouble or something makes you feel uncomfortable or unsafe, it's really important you tell an adult you trust. You can also reach out to a support service.

If someone online is making you feel uncomfortable, use your app, social media or game settings to report or block them - The eSafety Guide has info about how to do this.

If someone is pressuring you to send nudes don't give in to them. Ask them to stop. If they keep pressuring you, report and block them.

If someone shares (or threatens to share) an intimate, nude or sexual photo or video of you, you can make an image-based abuse report to eSafety. Find out more about image-based abuse.

Phone and online counselling services have people who are specially trained to give you personal support:

Kids Helpline - counselling and online support for kids and teenagers.

eheadspace - online chat and support for young people (12 to 25).

1800RESPECT - counselling and support for sexual abuse and domestic and family violence.

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Dating apps and sites are generally for people who are 18 and over because of the safety issues. Some people use online dating to connect with people so they can scam them, stalk them or trick them into sex.

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Where is cybercrime really coming from? | Caleb Barlow

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In short:

Bullying that happens online can harm the mental and physical health of the person targeted.

It can happen in any kind of online communication, including posts, comments, texts, messages, chats, livestreams, memes, images, videos or emails.

Often bullying content can be removed by the site, game or app used to send it, if you report it to them. But if they don't help, eSafety may be able to investigate and ask them to delete it.

What is bullying online?

Bullying online, or 'cyberbullying', is similar to offline bullying. Both happen when someone causes mental harm to another person who feels unable to stop it happening, which can also lead to physical suffering.

Often cyberbullying is linked to bullying that's happening offline - for example, a fight at school or in a friend group can spill over onto social media or messaging apps.

Cyberbullying can be very harmful for a number of reasons:

It can happen at any time and follow the targeted person to any place where they have a digital device.

If the bullying content has been shared on a public platform such as social media, it can be seen and spread by lots of people very quickly.

If the content is not removed, it can last online for years, affecting the reputation or 'digital footprint' of the person who is bullied.

Some examples of cyberbullying include:

sending hurtful or abusive messages

spreading nasty rumours or lies about someone

creating fake accounts in someone's name to embarrass them or to cause drama by sending nasty messages to their friends

sharing photos or videos of someone to make fun of them or humiliate them

'trolling' people (posting or commenting online to provoke an argument or emotional reaction)

threatening to hurt someone, or encouraging others to hurt them

making new accounts to try to keep contacting someone who has already blocked you

mocking or teasing someone because of personal attributes, like their race, religion, gender, sexual orientation or how they look - this is sometimes known as 'online hate'

purposely making someone feel left out or ignored.

Why does bullying online happen?

Let's face it: some people just like to cause drama - they think it makes them powerful or popular. But there are other reasons why they may bully someone online. For example:

they are hitting back at a person who was mean to them first

they are angry or upset, so they want others to feel bad too

they are trying to be funny, but the joke hurts another person's feelings

they don't think about the impact before sharing something that is likely to hurt or embarrass someone else.

If you upset someone online, it's best to apologise and delete the content to stop the situation getting worse. Learn more about what to do if you've been accused of cyberbullying.

What should I do if I'm being bullied online?

No one should have to deal with cyberbullying, but knowing the most effective ways to stop it will help.

Don't hit back

Resist the urge to hit back with your own mean or hurtful comments - it usually just makes the situation worse and could get you into trouble. Sometimes it's a good idea to step away from the screen for a couple of minutes to calm down and work out what to do next. You can also use your in-app functions to ignore, hide or mute the other person's posts or comments so you don't keep seeing them. Remember that bullying usually makes the person doing it look bad, not you. Just because they say something mean about you doesn't mean it's true, so try not to let it get you down.

Tell someone you trust

You don't have to cope with bullying on your own. You may feel like you should be able to handle it yourself but if you're feeling a little out of your depth, talking it through with someone else may help. An adult you trust, like a family member or teacher, can give you a fresh point of view, as well as helping you decide what to do and how to deal with any impacts. Try to stay connected with your support person while you handle the situation - you could show them this webpage so they understand more about it and can help you.

Think about asking them to stop

Sometimes people do things online without thinking about how others could be affected. This isn't cool. You can try asking the person who is bullying you to stop and to delete what they sent, posted or shared - if you feel safe doing that. It might not always work, but letting them know they have upset or embarrassed you may make them rethink their actions. You could also send them a link to eSafety's advice on what to do if you've cyberbullied someone, so they know how to help fix what they have done.

If the person keeps bullying you - even after you've asked them to leave you alone - stop communicating with them and follow the next steps.

1. Collect evidence

Take screenshots or recordings of bullying content so you have proof. Also note the usernames and display names of people involved and keep URLs (web addresses), as well as message links (for Discord). You should also write down how long the bullying has been going on and whether you know the person responsible. Find out more about collecting evidence.

2. Report harmful content

Report the content to the social media site, game or app used to bully you. The eSafety Guide has reporting links for the ones that most people use. If they don't help and you're under 18, you can report serious cyberbullying to eSafety. We can work with you to try to have the content removed and point you in the right direction to get further support. If you're 18 or older, you may be able to make an adult cyber abuse report.

3. Prevent further contact

Use your in-app functions to ignore, hide or mute the other person's posts or comments so you don't keep seeing them. The eSafety Guide tells you how. After reporting them, you can also block them through your account, or on your device, to take away their power to upset you further.

4. Get more help

Cyberbullying can make you feel bad. Lots of people say the harmful content makes them angry, sad, embarrassed, hurt, worried, scared or stressed. The harm may be felt for a short time or last a long time. How to look after yourself has tips on what you can do to feel better, like using the wellbeing resources on social networks and reminding yourself about positive things.

If you feel you do not have anyone close you can talk to about how the cyberbullying is making you feel, you could contact Kids Helpline (for young people up to age 25) or another confidential counselling or support service. They have people who are ready to listen and help.

You can find more eSafety advice about how to report cyberbullying of someone under 18, what eSafety does next and answers to other common questions. If you are 18 or older, you may find our information about adult cyber abuse helpful.

If someone is threatening to share nudes or other intimate images of you, or has already done it, that's 'image-based abuse' (sometimes called 'revenge porn'). You can find out how to deal with it here:

How can I help someone who is being bullied online?

Whether you're directly involved or not, it's always best to keep calm if you can, so you can think clearly.

You may choose to be an 'upstander' - someone who helps others instead of being a 'bystander' who just watches as bad things happen. These are some ways to be an upstander online.

Reach out to the person being bullied

Send a message to the person being bullied. Ask if they're OK and offer your support. Whether they're your friend, or someone you only kind of know, a few words of support can go a long way. Avoid phrases that might make them feel worse, like 'You must be so embarrassed' or 'I would want to die if I were you'.

Let the person being targeted know they can report online bullying to the social media service, game or app where it happened. You could show them this webpage, so they know more about their options.

Say something to the person who's bullying others

If you feel like someone is taking things too far online, consider reaching out to them privately to let them know that their behaviour may be causing harm. Maybe they're just unaware of how they are making the other person feel.

But when someone is clearly bullying another person, consider standing up to them if you feel confident and safe. Make it clear that what they're doing is not cool. It could be as simple as posting a comment that says 'This is not OK'.

Learn more about how to help

How to be an upstander has more tips for helping to create a positive culture online.

Real stories

Get support from confidential counselling and support services

Kids Helpline

5 to 25 year olds. All issues. Confidential phone counselling available all day, every day. Online chat available 24/7, 365 days a year.

Headspace

12 to 25 year olds. All issues. Phone counselling and online chat available 9am to 1am AEST, every day.

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Bullying online, or 'cyberbullying', is when someone uses the internet to be mean to another person so they feel bad or upset. No one deserves to be bullied online.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cSKGa_7XJkg

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OLu4AcRaK_o

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Fake News: Fact & Fiction - Episode 3: Information or disinformation?

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Fake News: Fact & Fiction - Episode 1: The meaning of ‘fake news’

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Association of Certified Fraud Examiners (ACFE)

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What Is Phishing? How Do I Avoid the Bait?

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How to stop swiping and find your person on dating apps | Christina Wallace

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Start the conversation – Let’s talk about sexting

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Safer Internet Day (SID) - generic video 2012 ending