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JULIEN, MAUDE. THE ONLY GIRL IN THE WORLD: a Memoir. ONEWORLD PUBLICATIONS, 2019.

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Maude's father, Louis Didier, had a vision of creating a "superhuman" who would "raise up humanity." In 1936, he chose his wife, Jeannie, when she was only six years old. He trained her, and when she was old enough, married her and had a girl in 1957. He named her Maude, and decided to completely isolate her from outside interaction and train her to become a "superhuman." These decisions formed Maude's life.

"Three years later, aged fifty-nine, Louis Didier liquidated his assets, bought a house near Cassel, between Lille and Dunkirk, and withdrew to live there with Jeannie in order to devote himself entirely to carrying out the project he had devised back in 1936: to make his child a superhuman being." -page 15

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Maude's animals helped her get through the day and encouraged her. Linda was a dog, and she stayed locked up in her dog house during the day. Arthur was a horse, and Pitou was a duck. Maude saved Pitou from getting attacked by his family. Maude found joy in these animals and loved them very much. They were her only forms of loving physical contact, because her parents were against things like hugging.

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Music became an important part of Maude's life, starting with her father forcing her to play many different instruments. She began at about seven years old, and had to practice several hours a day. Eventually, she learned to love playing music, and it became a means of escape from her world. However, not all of it was enjoyable. Her music teacher hit and insulted her when she made mistakes.

"Spurred on by his insults and slaps, I learn to play guitar, clarinet, violin, tenor saxophone and trumpet, as well as piano and accordion." -page 53

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Maude's father forced her to go into the cellar at night once a month and stay there for hours. It was completely dark, and she was by herself, except for the rats. According to her father, the purpose was to allow communication with the dead. This traumatized her and scarred her for life. It increased her fear, rather than decreased it like her father hoped.

"I'm screaming inside, but no sound comes out because my lips are clamped shut and quivering. My father told me that if I opened my mouth, mice or even rats will sense it and will climb up me, get into my mouth and eat me from the inside." -page 78

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The butcher often visited their house to kill animals and cut up their carcasses in order to have meat to eat. Maude, who loved animals, was forced to watch the killer at work and assist in wrapping up the cuts of meat. She also had to help calm the animals before they were killed. When "The Killer" came, she had to wake up at 3:30 in the morning and work late into the night wrapping the meat. However, due to lack of sleep, Maude and her mother were often prone to laughing fits when something even slightly funny happened (not the animals getting killed). This was one of the few happy experiences she shared with her mother.

"In the interest of 'toughening me up', I now have to join my mother and watch the butcher, who comes every four of five months to slaughter animals that my father has had delivered to the house." -pages 92-93

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Maude's day was planned out every minute, from the second she woke up to the second she went to sleep. She woke up at six, ate breakfast in ten minutes, and after that had to walk in the garden with very little clothes on in the freezing morning in France. Then, she did school work, and had to wake her father up at 8:00. She had to help him get ready, including dressing him and holding the chamber pot for him while he used it. Then she continued school, music practice, sports, and chores until she helped put her father to bed and went to bed herself at 11:30. She got six and a half hours of sleep and studied for 15 or 16 hours every day.

"Ever since I was little I've had to respect a tight schedule. Recently my mother has taken to timing my trips to the bathroom; as soon as I go beyond three minutes she comes knocking at the door." -page 102

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Raymond was one of Maude's father's workers. He helped prune trees, trim hedges, or do any manual labor. Whenever he came to work, he always found a way to abuse Maude. He cornered her and did unspeakable things to her. Her parents didn't know or care, and one time her mother saw Raymond about to do something to Maude, and she just ignored it. Raymond eventually came to live at their house for a period of time, which made things worse.

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Once a month, Maude was forced to walk around the garden at night by herself. Similar to the "meditations on death," this was a test that her father put her through to turn her into a superhuman. She had to walk in the dark to specific points in the yard. There, she turned on a light and turned it off again so her father could track her progress from his bedroom window. This didn't help her fear, it worsened it, and she was terrified by the darkness.

"I lose all sense of direction and stray into the undergrowth. Behind me and all around me, I hear a host of disturbing noises, footsteps, rustling leaves. I'm so tense it's as if I have a giant cramp in my whole body." -page 113

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Another form of joy and escape from her world that Maude discovered was books. They transported her to a different world and allowed her to breathe a little. They also influenced the way she thought and felt things. They caused her to try new things and be a little rebellious, and gave her hope in the midst of suffering. It also helped her to realize that her greatest challenge was ignorance involving the world around her.

"I am Gregor, but I have found my role-model, my example, my ideal. Dantes shows me the path to freedom. When I run a trickle of cold water at night to wash my hair in secret, I'm moving away from Gregor and towards Dantes... Life is stronger than anything else, there is always a solution, and I will find it" -page 150

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One day, Maude found her horse, Arthur, dead. Her mother scolded that he wouldn't have died if Maude hadn't let him eat too many apples. She and Linda cried all night, and they buried him a few days later. Linda tried to dig him up, so her father had a building constructed over the grave. Maude was devastated that one of her only sources of joy was gone.

"Raymond the gardener is here this morning, leaning on his spade next to the big hole he's dug. My mother and I draw back the oilcloth. I scream. There are thousands of flies crawling over the slumped form. A hideous smell fills by lungs. I'm about to be sick. I understand that it's over, forever. I feel like I'm falling into an abyss." - page 117

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One day, Maude worked up the courage to ask her farther if she could get a hair cut. According to her father, a woman should never cut her hair. He agreed, but forced her to instead shave her entire head as a punishment for asking such a ridiculous question. This had a huge effect on her, because it was the turning point in her life where she started to not care any more. It lead her to be rebellious, hurt herself, and sort of give up on life.

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Louis Didier had strange beliefs and insights about the world, which he taught Maude. For example, he believed that he used to have former lives, such as Hiram of Tyre, who built Solomon's temple, before he was reincarnated as himself. He believed that there are "Beings of Light" who are people who try to save the universe from darkness, such as himself. He thought that he knew everything, could read anyone's thoughts, and that he was much superior than everyone else. He used crystal balls, pendulums, cards, and Ouija boards to try to talk with the dead. All these things he taught Maude, which shaped her life and gave reason for her training to be a "superhuman". In the end she learned that her father created a "three-person family cult" because it basically had the same characteristics as a religious cult.

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From the turning point of having to shave her head, Maude began to break rules because she was tired of her life. She started out with small lies, and was filled with guilt and dread, because she was told that her father would die if she told a lie. However, everything went fine and she discovered that her father probably doesn't know everything and probably can't read her thoughts after all. She did more and more things against her parent's rules, including sneaking out of her room at night to walk around the house or garden. These actions gave her excitement and variety in her dull day.

"Despite my minor infringements and major insults, the threat of imminent death is never fulfilled. A criminal idea gradually insinuates its way into my head: is it possible that my father isn't actually a superhuman with the gift of great powers? Is it possible that everything he says is just hogwash?" -page 215

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After Arthur died, Maude's father said she could get a new horse if she did three somersaults in a row. She was eventually able to do it, after a few years of trying without any help or instruction given. She didn't actually want a new horse, but she got a small pony named Perisaut. It brought her joy and hope in the midst of pain. Perisaunt was trained as well as Maude, and he was forced to drink alcohol, eat horse meat, and was punished when he didn't do things how Louis Didier wanted him to.

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One day, Maude's dog Linda was found bleeding and in pain. She was already getting old, and Maude wasn't allowed to do anything about it, so she went to bed. That night she heard her howling, and Perisaut whining, and the next morning she was dead. This truly devastated Maude, and she was too sad to cry. Her father decided to get another dog of the same breed and also name her Linda.

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Another result of the turning point of shaving her head, was that Maude began to hurt herself more and more. She wanted to distract herself from her life and be in control of her pain. She bit herself, ripped out her eyebrows, and drew blood. She tried to poison herself by consuming an entire box of Aspro. However, due to her training in alcohol consumption, her mind fought, and she was worried what would happen to Linda if she died. So she kept going and the next morning, everything was the same as always.

"I expect to slip gently into oblivion, but my mind starts to fight, as it does in my 'alcohol and will' training. One part of me is ready to let go but the other part braces itself as it considers the consequences: what if Linda stays locked up, what if no one ever lets her out again and she dies having lost her mind?" -page 256

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Monsieur Molin became Maude's new music teacher when her father had him come to inspect her instruments. It was the best thing that had happened to her in a long time, because Monsieur Molin was kind, concerned for how she was being treated, and completely the opposite of her father. Eventually, Monsieur Molin convinced her father to let her work in his shop and take classes from him with other students. This gave her more of an escape from her home, and more of a glimpse at the real world. She learned to play the double bass, and joined Monsieur Molin to play with The Santinas Jazz Band.

Link #2
Santinas Big Band | Discography | Discogs

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Maude took a French exam when she was fifteen, called a baccalaureat. On the day of the exam, her parents left her by herself to go to the school where she would take it. She had rarely been outside of her property, so she was very nervous not only with figuring out how to get there, but also with regular social cues. She failed part of her bac, partly because of the inadequate education her parents had given her. She failed a few other tests as well, causing her parents to be extremely angry. But the connection to the outside world that it gave her caused her to be both exhilarated and sad at the same time.

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Maude was forced to go through training involving drinking many different kinds of strong alcohol every day, and lots of it. In the future, this caused damage to her liver. Her father did this so that she could learn how to not get drunk when forced to drink alcohol. Her father was an alcoholic, and he had a bar built outside in the yard. He spent most of his time there, from morning til evening. He had a listening device built in so that he could hear Maude practicing instruments on the pavilion to make sure she was working.

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Maude met a man named Richard one day at Monsieur Molin's shop, and regularly saw him there. He was tall, shy, and 25 years old. He drove her home one day, and her father called him into the bar to talk with him. He arranged for Maude to be married to him in three weeks. Her father planed for her to divorce him after a year and come back to the house, but that never happened. Being married allowed Maude to be freed from her prison, and live in the real world with Richard. After many years, she learned to overcome the mental and emotional scars that her childhood left her. She became a therapist to help other people with similar problems, and has two daughters.

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https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/feb/18/maude-julien-how-i-escaped-from-my-fathers-cult

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https://www.sunshinecoastdaily.com.au/news/girls-father-tortured-her-for-a-decade-to-make-her/3287062/

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https://nypost.com/2017/12/09/girls-father-tortured-her-for-a-decade-to-make-her-superhuman/

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https://fabiosa.com/rsvls-aumgr-pbdmt-phkan-from-a-girl-with-abusive-childhood-to-a-renown-phychologist-a-story-of-maude-julien/