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A great thing you included in your piece is your opinoin of your dislikes it was also a good idea to say you add lots of discription in your writing because now people are more intreaged to read your work now that they have an idea of what to expect and that is lots of detail in description. one think I do think you could work on is encorperating more in your ending to gather more interest. over all great work and also i like the color combinations.

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A strength of your About Me, “Ms. Whichard’s Wise words,” is the way in which you explain some of your likes to the reader. One of my favorite examples of your likes is when you mentioned, “I can be found curled up on the couch with a good book and my coffee, pouding on the pavement, running through the streets of Jersey City.”  I feel as though I know and understand you better. In addition, I like the way that you incorporate a lot of strong word choice throughout your About Me paragraph. For instance, some of the words that I thought were really elevated include, “dedicated.” “immense,” “potential,” and “significant.” Using this sophisticated word choice really brought your paragraph alive for me! However, a suggestion I can offer for improvement is to give the reader more of a picture of what you dislike. You really just listed your dislikes in a row. I am still left wondering the details about your dislikes. - From: Ms. Dragonas

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Good job Andrew  i like how you used the word choice in the beginning. And i like how you said what your favorite video games are because I’m a big gamer myself. I would suggest to not just put your foists to also put author games that you like or that you have.

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I really like your intro about giving a feel like your in a roller coaster, that really unique and cool.
I also liKe when you explain all the cool places you have been. I was very interested.
The only thing I could say you could improve, is maybe explain more about your main passion, like is it the pumpkins, traveling, they all good!

Your friend, Crushed Emerald

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I read you incredible about be piece and I really like how you mention that you want to be a professional soccer player. When you tell me that, I know that you are passionate about soccer. I also really like your ending sentence because of the words that you used. “ Now you should get in a comfortable space with your snack and drink, so you can enjoy my reading creations.” I wish that I have for your writing is using the right word in a sentence. For example, in the ending sentence you used the word reading instead of writing. I think it would make more sense if you used the word writing. Also, you spelled the word then when you were comparing something. All in all, you made a wonderful about me piece!
From, Matthew I

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I like how you added a video link in your writing piece. It really show me how much you like to play with your friends. Also, I like your picture of your cat. It tells me that you like cats a lot. But I still think that you should add more quotes and add more details about your dislikes. From, Kevin Chen

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I like the quote you added in your writing piece. I also I liked the descriptive words that you added. Next time maybe have your sentences more neat. From you friend -Max

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I like how you added your title into your greeting

From,
JT

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One of the things that I enjoyed about your writing was that I got to know a lot about you just from reading about all the sports you play. For example you said, “Swimming competitively, playing lacrosse, and playing football are all the sports that I do.“ This tells me that you are very active. Another thing that I liked about your writing was that you used some good word choice. For example, you said that “skiing in the forest fells like your in a Winter Wonderland.” One thing that I wish you did was that your introduction was not very catchy. Instead of just saying Hi this is my... You could say “Hello readers!” You could also say, “Welcome everybody!”

From Luke I.

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To jack from jack good job jack sand i like how there is a mixture of picture completely difrent. I also like how you did difrent. Collars and a difrent mixture of everything. I would suggest to allitle more jazz into it.

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I really liked your title and your website and the things you talked about like foods you can't live without. Next time make sure to add your quote. from your bffil -Max

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Hey brody i like how much detail you put into your work.  And how you talk about your life outside of school.  from the green goblin

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I really like the ending that you put at the end of your story.

From,
JT

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A fabulous thing that you did was your title. It was really good. Another thing that you did well was your greeting. It makes me want to read your piece. I still think you should add more details to your ending.

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Matt, I really liked you’re title it was very detailed. Instead of you putting the greeting as “Hi readers” you made it more detailed and it felt like someone was reading it to me on a nice calm night, great job!

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The first thing I loved about your about your writing was the introduction. It was catchy and saying “Hi” with the exclamation point at the end made it feel exciting. Also, in the introduction, you told everybody your name and said welcome. That made me feel like I belonged in your website. Another thing I liked about your writing was your goals. You described what you wanted to accomplish very accurately. One thing that I wished you incorporated in your about me was that it was quite short. Maybe you could have included some of your dislikes and maybe some more things you like to do.

From Luke I.

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I read your about me piece and I really like your introduction to the readers. I was really interested in your about me in the first sentence because you started with a question. Another thing that I liked about your about me is that you mentioned your favorite snacks to eat because I also love eating snacks. Something you could add on to your about me is more details about your dislikes. You were missing a word in a sentence when you started to mention your dislikes as well. Overall, your about me piece was really great to read.
From, Matthew I

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I really like your outro, it made me wanna curl up on my couch just like you said! I also like how you gave humor like saying that if we can’t find you in those places that we were looking for you at the wrong time. The only thing I think you could improve, is maybe explain a bit more about you absolute favorite thing to do so that we know!
Your friend, Alisa Landew

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i like how you added you own quote. i also like how you put " so sit back and dive into my ocean of witting" it really stood out to me. i wish you put more detail into your about me. but i really liked your website. good job!

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I like the wolf that you put in as the background and about those for friends from fourth grade ive known you since you joined school in scotch plains am i one of those four freinds

from,

Nick DeRienzo

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i love your quote and i also love your start. One thing you could of done is add are youtube channel -_-.

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I thought your paragraph was really good and I thought your quote was inspiring. Also your dongs are so cute and tiny.
:) Brody

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I really liked the way you used you descriptive words and I also liked how you used a quote that I really liked. I wish that you could of put something about your cat, Linus!
Your best friend
Haidyn

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I really liked your title because it made me think of a very cool and smooth rock. I never knew you were vegetarian and I want to become vegetarian but I love meat too much. There are no wishes in this review!
Haidyn Pantano

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I think your quote was very good and i think you did a good job on your paragraph.
:) Brody

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Can we stop the ride so i can congratulate you? I loved the way you incorporated your voice into your writing! Oh And that quote never gets Old. The only wish i have is that you tell the readers why you don't like mashed potatoes or Homework.

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I really like how you added 4 different quotes instead of 1. I also like the word choice you used all around your writing. I think in some parts you jumped right into the next thing with a small description of the one before, other then that I think your writing was great!
-Delaney Harmer

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I really enjoyed your about me with all your different word choices and how you included them into your story. Another thing I like was you did a good job with your quotes because most people would probably  have 1 quote like me but you had 3 ! Something I think you could change would maybe be your ending a little bit where it says the black panther and cliff hanger to something with a forest or instead you could put like a animal that lives in a forest instead of a blank panther because they like in the jungle.

From,
Matt M

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Hey Isabel! It's Mily. I loved your About me Portfolio, and here are 2 things I loved about it
One thing I loved about it was your title. Something some people may not notice, but I find yours stood out.
The next thing I loved about your writing was the intro. I liked how it pulled me into your story right away.
My one wish for your writing is in your outro, it almost sounded like there was more to your story, even though there was not.

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I love how you started it. The start was interesting and Really unique and different then others!
I also adore your 2th paragraph it was really descriptive and very detailed! And There was prefect word choice.
But my wish was if you made the dislikes abit more descriptive and not really like a list but all together your wrighting was really good and different.

From
John Nitro

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I really liked how you had a nice flow between your sentences. It wasn’t like a sharp cut. I liked how funny you were. It made me laugh. One thing I would tell you to improve on is not repeating once phrase over and overt. For example “I like both arts”
Respectfully,
Meg

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I really like your quote and how you want to become a surgeon when you grow up i think that’s really cool
Emma

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i really like your quote it is so good .I also really like your title it makes me want to read more.one thing i would add is some of your dislikes

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As soon as I started reading you about me I was so interested. When you were describing your likes it went so smoothly in also gave me a lot of information. In your whole writing piece your word choices were great. Changing the word choices kept me from getting bored, and I stayed interested the whole time. The only thing that could have been edited was that i wish i knew more about your dislikes. You had a good amount of detail for your likes, but a quick part about your dislikes.

From, Neela D.

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I really am in awe at your amazing writing piece. One star that I give you is that you did a great job visualizing your dream of playing professional football!
Another star I have to give you is how you listed your interests! It was like I was standing right next to you! The only wish I have for is that you could have put a little more detail into your dislikes and ending. But, altogether, It was extraordinary!
From
Joey

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Your introduction was so intriguing! It really made me want to keep reading. The word choices like and phrases were phenomenal. An example which is one of my favorites is “Zappy writing spot!” You also put in the perfect place. I love how you had a good description for each of your topics. When you talked about your goals was one of my favorite parts. Something you could have changed was maybe chosen less likes. I feel you just listed so manny and did not get a chance to explain why, or maybe describe what you were listing.

From, Neela D.

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I really like your quote .And i also like how you described the pop corn and how you like butter pop corn the most. One thing i could change is add a little bit more on sports.
From Dillon

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Hi, Caitlin I really liked you title and think it was really creative and bold. I loved the cat pictures you put in your about me page. I wish there was a quote and hope that you are planning on putting it in soon. I LOVED THE BABY DUCKS!!!!!! See you Saturday!
Your BFF,
Haidyn

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The first thing i saw about your about me was you’re quote and i think you did a good job on that. And i also liked was what you said what you did in your free time because I don’t do the same but i like to do similar stuff to that. Something i think you can change is    That when you said about you could just have like some days off what do you like to do.

Matt M

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I love your about me backgrounds and I like that you like music and art.
From
Korede

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I really loved your writing piece because of how you listed the things you like to do. I also like the word choice you used. But the wish I had would be for the dislikes and the ending to be a little more descriptive. But IT was amazing! Great Job!

-Joey

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I loved your quote and you wonderful title! The only thing that was a wish was that I wish you made the background of you about me page a sold-color instead of a very bright pattern.
Haidyn Pantano

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I really loved your about me piece!
I started reading and it was very consistent. It wasn’t choppy between sentences. I also completely understand your food dilemma. I have acid reflux because I don't eat enough, and now and I cant eat some foods that I love! My wish however is that you would’ve mention more books you liked since you talked about that a lot.
Best wishes
-Sloan

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I really like how you said when i am not writing my heart out because that tells me that you work hard i also like your title because it makes me want to read your writing
From Dillon

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I liked how discriptived you were and how much effort you put in something that you could of done is make the words a little bit bigger.

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I really like your title it makes me want to read your about me. your quote was so good and i also like how you described the things you like.one thing that could make it better put in  some more detail
from
Dillon

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Hi, It's mily, and I just read your about me!
I really liked both your intro and main part of your portfolio. I really liked

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I really like your website your title was amazing and I want to read more.one thing though I want to see some more description on your likes and dislikes.From Naima

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I really liked your introduction to the readers it really pulls us in .i also loved your quote  but wish you told some of your  weakness in writing cause i did not see them in you paragraph but other wise it was awsome

Luca .p

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I really like your story it was so descriptive. I liked the words you used and how you put it! But I think it was short story but that’s fine. It was a great story!

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One thing I loved about your E portfolio is the enthusiasm in your writing my favorite thing you wrote was the greeting. Also I love the ending of keep your hands and feet in the ride at all times. One thing you can improve is putting more descriptive words. - Chris A

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I really like the way you did your transitions. And I really Like the description you put into your piece. I also really liked your pictures, it is really simple and calm. I suggest you make your last line more hooking because right now it seems plain. I really liked your story, and you did a good job

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i like all of the detale
but i wish you said your friends names
from Jackson

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I really like your website you had a great title and I love your likes and dislikes.
From Naima

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I like how you talk about you rabbit and dog i also like how yo describe you mom and slowly drag your self to school in the morning i feel the same way when i drag myself out of bed. I also like how your title  is so peace ☮️  full i think you should write a bit more on you writing because it is so good so keep trying.                                                             From.     Patrick.         5/5 stars ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ 🌟

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I like how you  pulled the reader in  i really like your quote and i really like how you mentioned L.A.B also i have some off the comix here at my house

Luca p

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I like the way you used your punctuation. It really made me feel like I could hear your voice.

A suggestion I can offer for improvement is you could have made your story a little longer but other than that it was great.
From AJ :)

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Jackson I really think that you could expand on why you like why like what you like but I hTInk your title was really niCe and calming to me

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I love your website it has a lot of strength and I love your likes and dislikes  I have more  positive things to say but it probably wouldn't fit on this note anyway I encourage you to keep up the good work I also noticed that you didn't put down a quote but it's no big deal.
From Naima

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Something I like about your about me is your likes and dislikes you made it funny and informational about you. Also I like your creative title. One thing you can improve is using better word choice.

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I like your title it is so creative and cool 😎. I also like how your was about not needing to have a lot of money to be good. I think you should add a volcano as your title background from patrick 4/5 stars 🌟 🌟 🌟 ⭐️

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I really like how you mention all off you favorite wwe stars and how you like animals and the how many times you went to a aquarium or zoo but i wish you told us you favorite animal 🦔

Luca p

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I really enjoyed reading your About Me and exploring your Google Site. Something I liked about your piece is all the quotes you added. Your quotes made your site really fun to read and it just added a nice touch to your site. I also liked the way you really stretched out talking about your likes. It brought your writing to life and I could really understand what you where saying and visualize it too. A suggestion I can offer to you is I would try to come up with different sentence starters than I did this... or I did that. I think this would really elevate your writing but other than that your site was really good!
- Zoe Wallis

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I think that your word choice were intriguing, I specifically liked how you used the words “deep plot”. I think another thing you did particularly well was your details, I think it was amazing how you went into detail and explained things very well. I think you could have edited a little better. You made a few editing mistakes such as not capitalizing the word “I”, and adding punctuation in the right spot.

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I really liked how you explained your strengths in writing very clearly. I also really enjoyed imagining sitting on the couch drinking a chai latte. Sounds super comfy. I just wished that you told me where you go surfing with your brother. Other than that, great job!

From Parker F. AKA your cousin

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I love how you gave so many examples why you love lacrosse. For example you said that you have been playing lacrosse since you where five and that you play on the second best lacrosse team in the state that I am on to. I really like your quote about not getting upset about the past and that the only thing that matters is the future. Something that I think could have improved your Writing is putting more things that you you like. Maybe you could put in your favorite movies or your favorite food. 🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪

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I really liked how you named all your likes and dislikes. Another thing that I liked was your quote, because it really went with the image. A suggestion that I have is to say goodbye at the and to round out the paragraph.

Brady

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I love your title because it feels very powerful and meaningful.  I also really like how you went into detail about things you like to do or things you do.  There are no wishes for this about me!
(Sami M.)

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AJ! I just wanna tell you I read your about me and its absolutely fantastic! I like your title and your about me but my wish for you is you can add more color to your work there’s to much white and add a pic for 6th grade but other than that Incredible Job!

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To Sami, I really liked how you described your fear of open waters. I sometimes am afraid of boats and open water too. I also really enjoyed how you described your likes. I also make some of my decorations. I do wish that you had told me you are a vegetarian before this! We were best friends since kindergarten and I never knew You were a vegetarian! How?! Why?! Haha!

From, Parker F.

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I really like your first couple of sentences, they made me want to keep reading and I also like when you said “I’m either sleeping in my bed, or sweating like I’m taking a shower outside.”  I also really liked how you said why you liked you or why you Haters something, and how elaborated on every sentence. I also agree with you when you said that work is the worst. The only thing that I wish you did is if you added a few more things that you likes.

Nice job,
From RYAN SCARPA

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Sup Luca I read your about me and I Like your details for your about me and your pictures are so cool! But you should work on Capitalization  especially For the name of Rick Riordian for your quote. Other than that Amazing Job!
Baby Yoda Out.

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One of the things I enjoyed about your writing was that you told us why you liked and disliked the things you wrote. I also really liked your quote. It was a good quote and it had a good meaning for writing and just life in general. My wish for you is that I would have liked your piece a little bit longer so I could get to know you more. I think you could do this by telling us more about your life other than just your family and dance. Other than that your piece was a fun read and your site looks amazing! - Zoe Wallis

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I love how much you alliterated in your title.  Another thing I really liked about it was in your piece there was no words used twice or over and over again because you came up with new words instead of using the some ones.  There are no wishes for this piece!
(Sami M.)

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I really liked in the beginning how you put all of the rhyming. Another part that I liked was how you named a lot of your likes. A suggestion that I have is to use a darker background so that it makes it easy to read.

Brady

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HI! It is me Isabel! I really like your  writing piece!
One of the things I liked was how creative you are with your drawings and how that is how you spend most of your time and I think that reflects so your writing because you are so creative.
Another thing I liked was all of your quotes I thought they were really cool and powerful.
1 wish I did have was that you explained more and gave more details on your dislikes! But other then that I loved your writing!

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I liked the way you really expressed yourself in your writing! It also showed what you’re good at in writing and you’re humor, it is like I could picture you in my head! ( even though we know each other) One thing I would suggest is maybe check 1 spelling for the word you misspelled.( I hate giving suggestions because then I feel mean)Seriously though, great job!!

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Hey Brody It looks like you learned a trick or two when we made the lab website cuz yours is fantastic! Your about me is detailed and long but you should make more colorful pictures!
Bye
A from Lab

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To Max, I really liked how you said you can understand everyone’s humor type. I also really enjoy trying new Japanese foods. But i did notice that some of your stand-alone “I’s” were lowercase. Otherwise, great job!

From, Parker F.

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Hey Jake! It is me Isabel! I really enjoyed your writing piece for some of the following reasons!
1. I really liked your quote and how inspiring it was!
2. I also enjoyed reading about your likes and dislikes they are very interesting!
1 thing that needs minor adjustments are to explain a little bit more about your likes and dislikes. But other then that your writing was fantastic!

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One thing I think you did well at was your engaging, I specifically liked how you used the word introductory. I also think you did exceptionally well at your details, you went very in-depth with your likes and dislikes.

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I liked your beginning and how you made the readers feel welcomed. Something I that you could of done to improve your piece is elaborating about your like. For example when you said that you loved Hamilton You could have given reasons why you love it so much.

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First of all I loved your all about me piece I think it was probably the best one I read. One thing that I really liked about yours was that you used quotes throughout the piece and I thought that was really cool. Another thing that I like about it was that it just made want to keep on reading and reading, I also think that you really told me what your passions were and what you love to do, it was like I talking to you in real life. I loved everything about your writing and I can’t think of anything that think that you could have added or done better. I know I have probably said this a million times but that all about me piece was amazing.

Great job,
Ryan Scarpa

P.S. go giants.

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I like your about me and how you explained very thoroughly that you like animals. Yes I agree Roman Reigns is the best. You also did a good job putting in details like what zoos or states you went to. But work on adding more detail to your dislikes and tell more about hour hobbies like for me video games.
But great job
Peace Alan.

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Max, I really liked your title it seemed very powerful. I liked that you talked about understanding different people.  I liked that you talked about you likes, and different parts of your life.  I loved your quote.  Next time make sure to have uppercase "I"s and maybe a dislike.  From your bffil-
Caitlin :)

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I really liked the way you used you descriptive words. and the way you made me want to reads more and more until I finish I hop that all of your writing pieces are like this. But I think that you should try not to use words. I think you should try looking up some synonyms for the word and only if they fit the description.

Samuel Saraiva

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I really like your intro with sports and what you do i like that you say that you competitive i think you can say witch video games you play are

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WOW. I know that I’m only supposed to write two Stars 🌟, but I feel like i could write 15! Amanda, your writing word choices were breathtaking. I was in shock and awe when i was reading your site. For instance-
“My fingers Coiled around a mug handle, with a hot beverage inside.” I was blown away. I was SO Impressed by your skills. My second star 🌟 was that whenever you jumped into a new topic, The ideas were so simple, but you elaborated the ideas with Astounding description of the words. IT WAS BEWILDERING!!!!!!!!!!!!#lovedit. Now I have to give you the more disappointing part of the paragraph. The wish. Although your writing was awesome, the last part where you described the things you could do without, the paragraph fell short. Quite literally. Although i get it, i had trouble making the last part longer than the things that i really liked, but oh well. There is always room for improvement. All in all Amanda, your about me was extraordinary and i could read it 1000 time without getting bored. Spectacular job! 🤟🤟🤟🤟😀😀👍👍👍👌👌😸😸😸😝😝😝🙂🙂😄😄😄😄

From,
Brynn

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Alisa, I really liked your background for your  website, because you said that you liked to be outside and active in multiple sentences. I also really liked your hook and name because it was really catchy. Your band also seems really cool! The only thing I would change is to substitute some of the I's for something else. 5/5 ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ stars.

I agree fancy dress parties are the worst,
Amanda~

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I found your article very nice and easy to read, I liked how you didn’t just state your likes and writing strengths, but you also explained why in a descriptive way that really helps to understand you. I also enjoyed how you added a ton of personality to the piece from big exclamations to fun word choice. This made me want to keep reading, and that’s pretty big as I tend to dislike non-fiction style books. However there is one thing that you could improvement to make your article Truly exquisite, that is to add in some indentation. Not only would it further increase the personality in the piece, but also make it flow much better. -Robbie(Ribbit)

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To Haidyn P.
I really liked your writing piece all together. I really liked that you expressed your love for Harry Potter!  I loved that you were descriptive, and was very detailed with your likes and dislikes.  (From your writing)." I don’t enjoy the following: icky, black, and crawly SPIDERS!".  Next time remove some "and"s.  See you soon
From your BFF
Caitlin :)

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I really liked on how you said your first sentence it just made me wanna read more. Also when you where talking about keeping your body lean and healthy I made a connection. I was making so many connections because your writing piece was so good! There are not many wish's for your writing piece because it is pretty much perfect but I have one wish for you. I wanted you to make it a little bit longer It was a little short but it had so much meaning in it didn't really matter but other than that your good.

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I really like how descriptive you were about you’re day at the beach,I really felt like i was right there with you that day. I also liked how you talked about your drawing,in  fourth grade i always wished i could draw like you could. One thing you could improve is to tell us A bit more about your family. But besides that i loved your peice!
From Sarah.

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I like your title and quote a lot. The idea of a blacksmith is very creative and cool. Another great thing was how descriptive you were. You used sensory words really well. It’s also very cool how you want to be a avionics engineer. That sounds really cool! Just I think maybe you could focus a bit more on one thing your mainly like but otherwise your piece was amazing!

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Dear Alan, “But when I’m not hard at work crafting my new tales“ I absolutely love your word choice and the way you chose the less boring words. I also enjoy the way you transitioned from topic to Topic. By saying thinks like “when I’m not” and such. However I really wish that you had elaborated on the stories you right I would have loved to know more. -Kaylin

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After reading your story I thought it was really good. One thing I really liked about it is how you went into detail when you explained things you like and dislike. Another thing I enjoyed from your writing was when you explained what you wanted to do in life, I thought that was interesting. And the wish I have for you is to maybe look super close when writing, because I saw two small typos. But besides that, I thought your writing was great.

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Sami, I loved your intro, and your lovely outro!  I loved your quotes (they were amazing), and your description of things you  like to do, and don't like to do.  Next time add a uppercase "H" for the next sentence.  You made a wonderful about me piece!
Till next time from your best friend-
Caitlin :)

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I like all of the pictures that you put. And I also like the quote.
From Aidan

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The first think that I enjoyed about your writing is that you added so much detail and I love to hear that in someone’s writing I am so glad that you added what you want to do when you get older.I loved your greeting it made me want to read more and more about you writing.One thing that I would give a tweak on is where you said clothes are my life and I plan to go to F.I.T And major in fashion I think that you should give a little bit more description about why you want to go to F.I.T other than that I loved your writing and I would love to read more of your writing pieces.

Gabby