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How should we talk about strangulation with young people. 

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How should we talk about strangulation with young people. 

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Podcast: How should we talk about strangulation with young people?

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Relationships, sex and health education Implementation of the 2020 curriculum guidance in school

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Relationships, sex and health education: 2020 curriculum implementation

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Research exploring how schools have implemented the relationships, sex and health education guidance.

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Our review of published research highlighted the need for adults to better understand young people's different experiences.

We commissioned Cardiff University and University College London to work with us to design and conduct an exploratory research project to find out how young people are learning about relationships, sex and sexuality including:

how they seek information, support and advice

the potential barriers and opportunities they encounter

what they would like to learn more about.

The project was co-produced with a Young People's Advisory Group (YPAG), and drew on participatory and creative methods, as well as an online survey to generate insight into young people's own views and experiences.

Authors: Professor EJ Renold, Dr Sara Bragg, Chloe Gill, Dr Vicki Hollis, Rachel Margolis, Dr Ester McGeeney, Betsy Milne, Professor Jessica Ringrose, Dr Vicky Timperley and Dr Honor Young
Published: 2023

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relationships sex and sexuality education

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"We have to educate ourselves" How young people are learning about relationships, sex and sexuality | NSPCC Learning

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Find out what we learnt from an exploratory research project with young people to discover their views and recommendations for relationships, sex and sexuality education.

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CPD: Brook Sexual Behaviours Traffic Light Tool (RSE) Course

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Brook’s Sexual Behaviours Traffic Light Tool helps professionals to identify, understand and respond appropriately to sexual behaviours in young people.

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The Spotting the Signs Tool is designed to enable professionals who work with young people to better recognise CSE and CCE and safeguard young people.

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Creatively co-constructing relationships, sex and sexuality education with young people - English

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A students guide to what you don’t know (student perspective on how they want teachers to deliver their RSHE.) 

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A students guide to what you don’t know (student perspective on how they want teachers to deliver their RSHE.) 

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Short animated documentary about the clitoris in French. 

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Short animated documentary about the clitoris in French. 

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Le clitoris - Animated Documentary (2016) by Lori Malépart-Traversy

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Challenging victim blaming language in online experiences of harassment. 

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Challenging victim blaming language in online experiences of harassment. 

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Children and young people’s views on learning about on learning about sex and relationships | NSPCC Learning

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Read our literature review for an insight into children’s different experiences of learning about relationships, sex and sexuality and how sex education can better match their lived experience.

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The Practical Guide to Love, Sex and Relationships

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The Practical Guide to Love, Sex & Relationships: The good ship ‘Relationship’ (Yrs 9-10)

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The Practical Guide to Love, Sex and Relationships

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The Practical Guide to Love, Sex & Relationships: Rollercoaster  (Yrs 9-10)

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The Practical Guide to Love, Sex and Relationships

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The Practical Guide to Love, Sex & Relationships: Standing up for yourself - (Yrs 7-8)

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The Practical Guide to Love, Sex and Relationships

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The Practical Guide to Love, Sex & Relationships: The Truth About Desire (Yrs 9 & 10)

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What to do if you think you like someone

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What to do if you think you like someone

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The Practical Guide to Love, Sex and Relationships

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The Practical Guide to Love, Sex&Relationships: What to do if you think you like someone (Yrs 7- 8)

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The Practical Guide to Love, Sex and Relationships

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The Practical Guide to Love, Sex and Relationships - Freedom fighters (Gender). (Yrs 7 - 8)

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The Practical Guide to Love, Sex and Relationships

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The Practical Guide to Love, Sex & Relationships: Porn - what you should know (Yrs 8 and up)

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The Practical Guide to Love, Sex and Relationships

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The Practical Guide to Love, Sex & Relationships: When’s the Right Time? - (Yrs 9 and 10)

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Really useing talking and thinking points on many elements of sexual health including:

Relationships and sex education (RSE)

Reproductive rights and abortion

Sharing youth produced sexual imagery

Masturbation

Pornography

Trans and non-binary people and experience

Gender terminology

Virginity

Kink and BDSM

Life course approach to sexual and reproductive health and rights

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Brook is not asked by schools to teach about BDSM and Kink, but is sometimes required to respond to ad hoc questions about it amongst young people. Brook teaches...

That people respond in diverse ways to different kinds of touch, sensation, physical, visual and oral stimulation. There is no 'right' way to have sex or to be in a relationship - provided it is mutually agreed

What one person finds sexy another person might find a turn off - there are likely to be a range of factors in the development of our sexuality and sexual desire

That the most important thing in any relationship and sexual practice is that it is mutually agreed, and fully consenting

Nobody should feel pressured or coerced into any form of sexual behaviour that they are not comfortable with

Seeing a sexual behaviour represented in the media or in porn does not make it 'normal', mandatory or require that anybody/everybody emulates it

That there are different risks associated with different sexual practices; and physical safety and after care are vital elements of any sex, alongside pregnancy and STI prevention

That respecting people's feelings is an important form of care

Consent, trust, good communication, reflection, preparation and a shared vocabulary to explain your desires and openly discuss sex are essential foundations for a safe BDSM/Kink experience. Often these skills and confidence come with age, experience and in established relationships

That it is not safe to use objects during sex or foreplay which are not designed to be used for sex (not body safe) or intended to be sex toys.

That the use of sex toys should be agreed in advance and both parties need to understand how to use them safely.

Young people to seek help if they are concerned about their relationships, or their own sexual practices or desires but that they should not feel that an interest in kink or BDSM on its own is a cause for concern.

Young people to identify when their own sexual practices are starting to feel harmful or having a negative impact on their life including whether a sexual behaviour is becoming compulsive, addictive or is escalating in a way that feels unsafe

The law in relation to consent including in relation to causing physical harm to another person in the course of a consenting sexual activity

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Our beliefs - Brook's position statements - Brook

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Brook is not asked by schools to teach about BDSM and Kink, but is sometimes required to respond to ad hoc questions about it amongst young people. Brook teaches... That people respond in diverse ways to different kinds of touch, sensation, physical, visual and oral stimulation.

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0:00 / 0:15•Watch full video

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I told my mum I was going on an RE trip. 

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I told my mum I was going on an RE trip. 

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“I told my Mum I was going on an R.E. trip...” is a frank, funny and moving film about four young women’s abortion experiences, told verbatim from real interviews, with spoken word and Afrourban music. Four actors play all the parts

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0:00 / 42:13•Watch full video

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"I told my Mum I was going on an R.E. trip..." (2022) Theatrical Drama Short Film | MYM

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How to do a creative audit of RSE with young people

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Please use this Padlet to find further resources to enhance your secondary RSE. This padlet is a range of resources compiled by Alice Hoyle. Feel free to pick and choose the ones that might work for you and your groups.  You definitely don't need to use them all and some wont be suitable for some groups so use your professional judgement when selecting a resource.

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Song from IntegrateUK about FGM

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Advertising celbrating the vulva BUT problematic as advertising "wipes and washes" that can negatively affect vulval health and are capitalising on shaming women about their self cleaning vulvas!

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Scarleteen | Sex Education For The Real World

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Inclusive, comprehensive, supportive sexuality and relationships info for teens and emerging adults.

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How can the 'consent castle' approach be used in RSE?

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How can the 'consent castle' approach be used in RSE?

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How can the 'consent castle' approach be used in RSE?

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What is social shaming, why is it a problem and how can it be tackled in RSE?

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What is social shaming, why is it a problem and how can it be tackled in RSE?

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What is social shaming, why is it a problem and how can it be tackled in RSE?

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Bishtraining: Should we show diseased Genital pics in RSE?- no, here's why

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Bishtraining: Should we show diseased Genital pics in RSE?- no, here's why

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https://tinyurl.com/4ab86vf6

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Bish Training - Sex & Relationships Education

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RSE practitioners might be tempted to show graphic pictures of STIs. Here I'll argue why this is a bad and counterproductive teaching method in relationships and sex education.

They Don't Work

You might think that the widespread use of showing these kinds of images might be based on some kind of evidence of their effectiveness, but you'd be mistaken. Dr Alyssa Lederer, applied behavioural scientist and health education specialist, found the following:

"In 2016 I conducted an experiment with young people enrolled in a large public Midwestern university. Participants watched one of two randomly assigned web-based sexual health programs, one with graphic sexually transmitted infection images and the other without such images but otherwise identical. I then compared the two groups of participants to assess their knowledge, beliefs, and behavioral intentions related to sexually transmitted infections. Overall outcomes were the same, but when I asked participants to provide feedback, more than a quarter of those that saw the graphic images expressed disgust and dismay. These results suggest that presenting such images may prompt stigma - without having any health benefit." This point about stigma is very important, which I'll come on to next.

Meanwhile other studies studies looking at the effect that scare tactics, also known as 'fear appeals', have on people around STIs show a similar lack of evidence of effectiveness. Allison Earl and Dolores Albarracín's study looked into the use of fear appeals (explicitly talking about the dangers of HIV transmission during a consultation) as part of HIV testing. They found that fear appeals during these consultations: "increased perceptions of risk at the immediate follow-up but decreased knowledge and condom use." This study also found that this decreased condom use following a fear appeal actually strengthened over time (a spiraling effect). Importantly, when interventions instead offered HIV counselling and testing there was an increase of knowledge, and an increase in condom use and this effect strengthened over time.

There has been a long history of study of fear appeals or scare tactics and the evidence is contradictory. Some may work in some interventions where individuals are scared enough to want to change their behaviour and that change is feasible and accessible to them. However, using a condom is not always easy and it's certainly not as easy for some people to negotiate using condoms as others. When it comes to condoms, Earl and Albarracin's study (and also other studies) suggests that messaging which promotes the gains of condom use, rather than highlighting the losses of condom non-use, are more successful in both the short term and also in the long term.

So studies in the classroom and studies from clinics suggest that scare tactics don't work work and may even be counterproductive for safer sex practices. Why else might it be a bad idea?
Find out more about my one to one RSE Coaching service
They Create Stigma

As Dr Alysssa Lederer found that showing images of diseased genitals did not increase the knowledge of students taking part in that RSE programme, but that it did increase levels of stigma. Study after study shows that stigma has a huge role to play in delaying young people's attendance at a sexual health clinic, even when they think that they may have symptoms of an STI.

"To promote prompt treatment-seeking, interventions must also address both STI-specific and other forms of social stigma which may limit access to care." Malta, et al 2007

"Strenuous efforts should be made to overcome the stigma associated with STIs and, by default, GUM services, and to present sexual health services in a way that is seen as inclusive and relevant to a wide range of individuals." Anne Scoular, et al 2001

"High perceived seriousness about symptoms has both cognitive and emotional components that may function independently to either promote or delay STD-related care seeking." Cunningham, et all 2005

Sexual health education, which seeks to 'disgust and dismay' is going to create more stigma around STIs and thus around accessing treatment. (Although there have been significant increases in young people accessing sexual health services due to the expansion of young people's sexual health services in the noughties). Delaying treatment, or avoiding treatment, increases the risk of transmission and increases the risk of long-term health effects.
Book me to come and teach in your school, college or university
In addition showing these images risks perpetuating other harmful stigmas around sex, which invariably intersect with oppression. Together this sends a message that there are certain 'kinds of people' who are at risk of STIs. These messages are homo/biphobic, racist, classist, and definitely sexist. It also creates this problematic and sex negative 'other' who has, and might even enjoy, sex. RSE should be trying to address these kinds of messages, not perpetuate them.

So showing these images of disease sends out messages about sexuality and stigma which are very harmful and counterproductive but are also inaccurate.

They are Inaccurate

The majority of cases of STIs don't have any symptoms. Even where there are symptoms they might be very mild and so not recognisable, or they may be confused with other infections or conditions (such as a heavy cold).

The graphic images of STIs which are used in sex education show individuals with symptoms. So in order to be accurate people showing these images should also be showing pictures of people with STIs but no symptoms. We don't do that because 1) people with asymptomatic STIs are not deemed worthy of photographing by medical professionals and 2) a lot of people will find it inappropriate to be showing young people pictures of genitals without symptoms ie, just genitals.
Check out the Big Bish Download, all of my resources in a money saving bundle
Furthermore, the symptomatic pictures of genitals are atypical: that is to say, they show large clusters of warts, or voluminous discharge, or symptoms of tertiary syphilis. These are rare. So they don't even show the kinds of images of symptoms that people may want to look for when they are checking out their bits in the shower or bath - a small wart, or a blister, drops of blood, a small rash, or an unusual discharge.

Sidenote: I think that we should probably be doing more to teach young people about their genitals. In addition to teaching about diversity (and similarities) of genitals we should also be teaching more about vaginal discharge, papules, in-grown hairs - which are often mistaken for STIs.

So they are not typical images of STI symptoms and thus are not accurate images of STIs. They also have the effect of making STIs seem more serious than they are. The fact is that all STIs are treatable (although yes, gonorrhoea is getting more difficult to treat but is still pretty uncommon), and once treated it's not common for STIs to have a long term effect for young people. Even rates of HPV, which is the most common STI in the UK, are coming down dramatically thanks to the HPV vaccine for young people. Rates of genital warts (which are low risk STIs not associated with cervical cancer or any other long term effects, but still feature heavily in graphic images of STIs) have reduced by nearly 80% in young people. We've seen that scare tactics don't work, but we also saw that an overemphasis of how serious STIs are will also increase stigma.

So How Should We Teach About STIs?

Even though we should still teach about STIs, we probably need to tone down some of the messaging in order to a) remove the scare tactics and b) usualise STIs just like we might with any other illness. We should also shift the emphasis to talking about how to negotiate safer sex (and giving people the tools to do this) and how to access sexual health services.

Below are some images I made for @BishSexEd on Instagram and Twitter, feel free to download these STI slides and use them in your classes.

You could also try my STI quiz over at BISH which I describe as "a fiendishly difficult quiz but also pretty chilled out and quite real life."

You could also try playing my game Safer Sex Aces or using my Condom Teaching Pack

You could also try the Safer Sex lesson plan over at DO... RSE for Schools, which I wrote with Alice Hoyle.

There are some more really great ideas about how to teach about STIs in this lovely article by Chella Quint.

If you're a teacher in the UK, why not join our facebook group? which Alice and I moderate. It's a lovely community of teachers who would want to improve their practice.

© Justin Hancock, 2019

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Should We Show Pictures of STIs in RSE? - no, here's why

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RSE practitioners might be tempted to show graphic pictures of STIs. Here I'll argue why this is a bad and counterproductive teaching method in relationships and sex education. You might think that the widespread use of showing these kinds of images might be based on some kind of evidence of their effectiveness, but you'd be mistaken.

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Essential evidence-based reading for beyond statutory RSE towards Great RSE
( including the voice of young people)

Unesco Technical Guidance https://unfpa.org/sites/default/files/pub-pdf/ITGSE.pdf

Agenda https://agendaonline.co.uk/

Transforming School Cultures https://transformingschoolculture.files.wordpress.com/2022/01/transforming-school-cultures-through-relationships-and-sex-education-final.pdf

Brook Traffic Light Tool https://www.brook.org.uk/training/wider-professional-training/sexual-behaviours-traffic-light-tool/

Ofsted Sexual Harrassment Review https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/review-of-sexual-abuse-in-schools-and-colleges

Childrens commissioner Talking to your child about online sexual harrassment https://www.childrenscommissioner.gov.uk/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/cco_talking_to_your_child_about_online_sexual_harassment_a-guide_for_parents_dec_2021.pdf

DfE report on RSE and sexual risk taking https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/1035862/SRE_and_sexual_risk-taking_research_brief_Nov21.pdf

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Transforming school cultures through Relationships and Sex Education 

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Transforming school cultures through Relationships and Sex Education 

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New comic! This comic was originally posted on Everyday Feminism. When we talk about consent, we don't talk a lot about how consent changes in a relationship. People who have been partnered for 20 years sure as heck don't negotiate sex and intimacy the same way that people who have met just do, and it would be ridiculous to suggest that they should. As our relationships change, we can use consent activities to build a structure that lets us make assumptions about what the other person wants. So consent castles are pretty much my favourite thing. It's how I talk about consent as being the root of a stable, trusting relationship. I like consent castles because they make consent a collaborative exercise - you have to build it together, and then you can live in a giant, beautiful (kinky/cuddly/furry/whatever) castle together. Who doesn't want a great castle? Translations: Turkish (click to download PDF) (credit Rayka Kumru) Vietnamese (credit OS).

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New comic! This comic was originally posted on Everyday Feminism. When we talk about consent, we don't talk a lot about how consent changes in a relationship. People who have been partnered for 20 years sure as heck don't negotiate sex and intimacy the same way that people who have met just do, and it would be ridiculous to suggest that they should.

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These have been gathered from recent inspections.

1. How do you record incidents of peer-on-peer abuse? Can we see the records printed out?

2. (To support staff member) If you overheard male pupils speaking in a sexist/inappropriate/disrespectful way to female pupils, what would you do?

3. Can we see all the dates and incident logs of any instances of sexual harassment/homophobia/peer-on-peer abuse/ inappropriate touch? What were the outcomes? Do you ever involve external agencies? Which are they? Can we see the log and outcomes? Does this progress to become a case for the safeguarding team? DSL? What sanctions have you applied in the case of serious incidents, if any?

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This is draft. Feedback welcome.

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FB group of over 2000 teachers for RSE

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A group created for UK teachers to seek advice, share ideas and resources on teaching Relationships and Sex Education (RSE). Run by Alice Hoyle https://www.alicehoyle.co.uk/ and Justin Hancock...

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Practical Guide to Love Sex and Relationships 

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Practical Guide to Love Sex and Relationships 

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This resouce covers Sexual Ethics in a really accessible way. Some fab videos (be warned some swearing) to get the points across.

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The Practical Guide to Love, Sex and Relationships

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The Practical Guide to Love, Sex and Relationships

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A teaching resource from the Australian Research Centre in Sex, Health and Society, La Trobe University, exploring relationships, sexual consent, equity and sexual and reproductive health. Funded by the Australian Government.

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Addressing Sexual Harrassment School Culture (1)

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RSE Teachers are the best (29.7 x 21 cm) (3)

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To be used in conjunction with the Great RSE book. Includes digrams of sexual and reproductive organs.

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Using Love Life resources

The films

There are three films featuring Ash, her friend Jim and her sister Steph.

You can watch the films independently or as a series, although it's most helpful to work through them in the order we've suggested.

Each film is designed to open up different ways of talking about different topics.

Delivering Love Life

The films and resources are designed to be used as part of your ongoing discussions about growing up, relationships and emotions.

The young people you work with may have a range of needs, so the films and activities are flexible and adaptable.

Watch the films in advance and decide how best to introduce them. Choose the activities you think are most suitable and adapt them as necessary. For example, some young people may need help writing or drawing.

We haven't included timings for the activities - these will vary depending on the size of group and needs of the young people you're working with. You could devote a full day to doing all the activities and include two viewings of the films, or carry out individual activities over a number of weeks with repeat viewings of the films.

Some of the activities require you to have specific materials available. These are listed on the activity plan.

It's also helpful to have books on related topics available, which young people can look at in their own time.
> Look at our reading list of resources that can help you deliver Love Life
Upsetting content

While we've taken care to present the issues in Love Life in a non-threatening way, there may be some topics that are upsetting for the children and young people you work with.

Make sure you know how to spot any signs that may indicate a child is at risk of or experiencing abuse and respond appropriately.
> Find out more about recognising and responding to abuse
If a child or young person needs to talk to anyone confidentially, they can contact Childline for free on 0800 1111 or online. You can also download or order Childline posters and wallet cards.

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Love Life: resources for young people with learning disabilities | NSPCC Learning

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Films and activities to help young people with special educational needs and learning disabilities learn about emotions, relationships and identity.

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Bish Training - Sex & Relationships Education

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Description

As well as talking about porn this download resource pack enables conversations around self-esteem, body image, boundaries, pleasure, consent, communication, safer sex, sexual safety, the law, emotions, relationships, gender and sexual diversity and oppression.

"We have been using the planet porn with young people who have committed sexually harmful behaviour and I can honestly say it's been superb."

What's in the pack?

The pack contains a number of activities and resources which all come in a pdf and a powerpoint document: so you have the choice to print the resources out or use them as slides to teach with and to move the images around to suit.
Planet Porn Game
A straight forward card discussion game. Take it in turns to decide whether the statement belongs on 'Planet Earth' (real life sex) or 'Planet Porn' (porn sex) (or somewhere in between the two - which is most likely). Now with 42 cards! Each card has new and improved explanatory notes to aid discussion and learning. Also now easier to print.
Is It Legal, Is It Right?
This activity provides a brief factual analysis of current UK law around porn. It also presents various scenarios relating to porn which may be relevant to many young people, raising various ethical issues around sex tapes, watching porn under age and privacy.
NEW! Sexting Posters, Images and Handouts
Exclusive posters and handouts for you to use in conjunction with the other activities in the pack. Like the Bish Leaflets you can print your own as many times as you like. All the information that young people need to stay safe and make informed decisions (without scary moral panics).
Porn Challenge
This activity challenges people to think of ways to present sexy scenes and images which are safe, consensual, promote equality and diversity and don't make assumptions about who may be watching porn.
Dear Doctor Love
A problem page activity which explores relationship issues like trust, intimacy, boundaries, safety, jealousy, independence, self-esteem and communication through the medium of problems that a partner of a pornstar or glamour model might face.
NEW! Where Do People See Sexual Images
An activity exploring what we mean by 'sexual images', where people see them and what they might see. Great for opening up the conversation and for introducing Planet Porn.
NEW! Summary of the Evidence for Young People and Porn
Summary of the most authoritative reviews and research into exactly how many young people look at porn, what the effects might be and what they do with it.
Relationships and Sex Education
I wouldn't recommend this pack be used as a starting point with young people around RSE. For a complete, PSHE Association approved RSE course check out the free resources at DO... (which I was involved in writing) and also my new Consent Teaching Pack and Love, Innit my resource pack for teaching about relationships.

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Planet Porn - A teaching pack about porn, sex, sexuality and gender.

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As well as talking about porn this download resource pack enables conversations around self-esteem, body image, boundaries, pleasure, consent, communication, safer sex, sexual safety, the law, emotions, relationships, gender and sexual diversity and oppression. "We have been using the planet porn with young people who have committed sexually harmful behaviour and I can honestly say it's been superb."

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Useful for professionals to brush up on their vulva knowledge.

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What every woman needs to know about her genitals The booklet provides knowledge about the female body, focusing on the pussy and its sexual functions. The text discusses anatomy, gynecology and sexual desire. It is intended för non-scientific readers wishing to learn more about female sexuality.

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Useful for professionals to brush up on their penis knowledge

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Puberty and Sexuality Resource for SEND pupils

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Puberty and Sexuality Resource for SEND pupils

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Also visit JKP publishers, Claire Lightley consulting, Image in Action and Bodysense for SEND specific RSE resouces.

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RSE courses online professional training (mostly free)

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Skip Slideshow Skip <span>OUR DIGITAL LEARNING COURSES AND RESOURCES</span>Skip <span>Full PSHE curriculum</span>Skip Custom HTML

Skip <span>Our featured courses</span>

Our featured courses

Our aim is to equip you with everything you need to provide exceptional relationships and sex education and wellbeing support to young people. Brook delivers RSE training to teachers, sessions with young people and supports schools to develop effective plans and policies.

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Skip Slideshow Skip OUR DIGITAL LEARNING COURSES AND RESOURCES Skip Full PSHE curriculum Skip Custom HTML Skip Our featured courses Our aim is to equip you with everything you need to provide exceptional relationships and sex education and wellbeing support to young people.

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Activity exploring spread of STI's including HIV

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This activity is suitable for a secondary Science or PSHE lessons exploring the spread of disease including STI's. It is a simple but very effective lesson to do and

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Brook | Shop | Best Practice Toolkit: Abortion Education

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Brook COVID-19 (coronavirus) response: view latest advice and service updates

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There really is no such thing as a 'normal' vulva. Like so many areas of our body, vulvas come in lots of different shapes, sizes and colours. The labia can hang down or be barely visible.

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Young people can get really bogged down in the legalities when the law can be complicated. Useful young people friendly overview provided below but a useful reframe from Is it legal to Is it right? (The ethical dimension)

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Sex and the law. Under age sex, consent, rape, sexual assault, outside sex, porn, abortions, confidentiality, marriage... Boring but very important.

Little known fact: I have a law degree. Yes it's Bish LLB (Hons). And for the first time in my working life it is relevant. These laws are the ones that people ask me about the most. They are for the UK (Great Britain and Northern Ireland).

Confidentiality for young people

Even if you are under 16, you have the right to a confidential service for condoms, contraception, check-ups and advice. Confidential means that clinics do not tell anyone they have seen you unless they need to protect you or someone else from a serious risk of harm. If they do have to tell someone they would always try to ask you first.

Marriage

The legal age for marriage and civil partnerships is 16 with parental consent or 18 without. (In Scotland you don't need parental consent at 16 - which is why Gretna Green is a famous place to get married). It's legal for same sex couples to marry in the UK except in Northern Ireland.

Abortion

A young woman under 16 can have an abortion without her parents knowing (if two doctors agree that she is mature enough and that it's in her best interests). They are legal in Great Britain up to 24 weeks of pregnancy (terminations at this late stage of pregnancy are very rare).

In Northern Ireland abortion is now legal up to 12 weeks of pregnancy unconditionally. Up to 24 weeks a termination is available if continuing with pregnancy would be a greater risk to the physical or mental health of the woman.

Young women usually want to tell parents or another responsible adult. Doctors will encourage this but will not force them to. It is a decision that only the woman can make: men have no legal say.

Here's more information on where you can find your nearest sexual health service in the UK where you can chat about your pregnancy options and be referred for an abortion.

Sex outside

There are a number of laws to do with having sex outside. It can be illegal to show male or female genitals in public. It is illegal to have sex in a public toilet (even in a locked cubicle). It is also an offence to have sex in public if it is near a children's play area.

People having sex outside can also be guilty of 'outraging public decency', unless they could have expected a reasonable degree of privacy and did what they could to prevent being seen.

That's the legals, but what do you think? Should people have sex outside?

Porn

It is legal to look at porn so long as it does not feature: under 18s, sex with animals, torture, scenes of rape or sexual assault or violent scenes which are life threatening or likely to cause serious harm.

You need to be 18 to buy porn magazines or videos and most porn websites try to prevent under 18s from accessing them. Don't film yourself having sex if you are under 18 because that's child porn: seriously.

It's also illegal to watch porn with someone under 18. (This is to try and prevent sexual abuse of children, but can apply even if you are both under 18 and both wanted to watch it.)

More about Porn Laws here

Consent

When having any kind of sexual contact with someone, both people must consent to it happening, otherwise it is against the law.

'A person consents if [s]he agrees by choice, and has the freedom and capacity to make that choice.' Just because someone isn't protesting or saying no does not mean that they are agreeing to sex.

If someone is really drunk or stoned then they may lack the capacity to be able to consent, particularly if they pass out or forget what happened. This means that any sexual contact at that time could be unlawful; eg rape.

If there was any violence or perceived threat of violence, if the victim was trapped or locked in a room, if the victim couldn't communicate their non-consent, if the victim was unconscious or if the victim was drugged, then the court may rule that there was no consent.

Also if the victim was tricked into sex (either about who or what it will involve) it is unlawful.

And consent is a continuing act, so someone may agree to something but if they then change their mind half way through, the other person must stop.

Rules about consent apply in marriage or any long term relationship. If someone (man or woman) does not want sex then you can not force them.

If you are in any doubt as to whether someone is consenting, or whether they have lost the capacity to consent, then don't have sex. Here's more detail about consent and the law.

Sex without consent

Sex without consent is against the law - there are lots of different crimes about this but all of them are really serious. Rape (penetration of mouth, vagina or anus with the penis), assault by penetration (with fingers or objects), sexual assault (any sexual touching at all), causing someone to have sex.

Apart from rape, the offender can be a man or a woman (or a transsexual male to female with a penis).

Those affected and want to report it or get support can report it to the Police, or a sexual assault referral centre. For more visit www.rapecrisis.org.uk

Under age sex
Young people are highly unlikely to be prosecuted for any of these offences below if the people involved were the same or similar age and if the sex was clearly agreed with no abuse or exploitation.
In the UK you have to be 16 to have sexual activity* with someone. So, a couple of 15 year olds would (technically) be breaking the law. If it was a 16 and 15 year old, the 16 year old would be breaking the law.

This applies to under 13s (which is a separate, more serious, offence) or between 13 to 16 (unless that person reasonably believes the other person to be over 16). This applies to men and women and is the same for all genders and sexualities.

Under age sex is illegal whether there was consent or not. So for example, it wouldn't be a defence for an 18 year old to say that a 14 year old was agreeing to have sex. If the 14 was not agreeing to have sex that would be both rape/sexual assault and under age sex. Someone under 13 can't consent to sex under the law so this would be treated as rape/sexual assault.

* Under the law (s78 Sexual Offences Act 2003 for you legal geeks) sexual activity is defined as what a reasonable person would consider sexual. So it's not just penetrative sex that is illegal under 16, it could be masturbation, naked touching, or even touching over clothes.

There are a number of other offences to protect children and young people from abuse. (Again it's unlikely that people of the same or similar age who clearly agreed and were not being abused would be prosecuted.)

Causing or inciting an under 16 to engage in sexual activity, either with them or someone else. (So this could include convincing someone to have sex with someone else (eg prostitution or group sex)).

It's illegal to have sexual activity in front of someone under 16 (so someone masturbating on a webcam to someone under 16 is breaking the law).

It can be illegal to show porn to someone under 16 (if the purpose is for sexual gratification).

It is now illegal for someone over 18 to meet with someone under 16 after communicating with them on the internet for the purposes of sex (called 'grooming').

It's illegal for anyone in a position of trust (eg teacher, youth worker) to have sex with someone they work with or look after who is under 18. There are also laws to prevent any sexual acts with someone under 18 who is a family member.

If you are really really interested in the law and sex here is the Sexual Offences Act 2003

http://www.opsi.gov.uk/acts/acts2003/ukpga_20030042_en_1

© Justin Hancock, 2021.

I have a new book! Please buy it (if you want to, no pressure, it would please me if you did, but your call). More details here.

If you like could you please share it with your peoples. BISH is also on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, and YouTube. No I'm not on TikTok.

Do leave a comment below if you have anything you'd like to add or if you have questions. I moderate all comments before they go live. You can also ask me questions If you want to leave me some nice feedback please do

BISH is sponsored by , thank you Durex. It's also funded by your kind donations. If you're an adult with cash, please consider supporting my Patreon or chip in directly via my So if you could help with that I'd be very grateful.

If you want to teach about this stuff, don't just show people a website - that's kinda boring! Check out my very popular RSE resources at bishtraining.com
Justin Hancock has been a trained sex and relationships educator since 1999. In that time he's taught and given advice about sex and relationships with thousands of young people in person and millions online. Find out more about Justin here

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Sex and the law. Under age sex, consent, rape, sexual assault, outside sex, porn, abortions, confidentiality, marriage... Boring but very important. Little known fact: I have a law degree. Yes it's Bish LLB (Hons). And for the first time in my working life it is relevant.

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Our Projects

Project deSHAME aims to tackle peer-based online sexual harassment by empowering local communities to work together to increase reporting among young people.

Access our free resources and learn more:

Looking for Project deSHAME resources in other languages?

Danish

Hosted here by Red Barnet.

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Hosted here by the Welsh Government

Defining online sexual harassment

Project deSHAME defines this as 'unwanted sexual conduct on any digital platform' and has categorised it in four main types.

About Project deSHAME

Project deSHAME is an EU-funded project to prevent and respond to online sexual harassment.

International Adaptation Toolkit

This toolkit was created to help other countries and organisations run a project to tackle online sexual harassment.

Research report

This report presents findings from quantitative and qualitative research conducted across Denmark, Hungary and the UK.

Impact Report

This report looks at the feedback from young people and teachers in response to the piloting of resources created by Project deSHAME.

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Skip to content Our Projects Project deSHAME aims to tackle peer-based online sexual harassment by empowering local communities to work together to increase reporting among young people. Danish Hosted here by Red Barnet. Welsh Hosted here by the Welsh Government Defining online sexual harassment Project deSHAME defines this as 'unwanted sexual conduct on any digital platform' and has categorised it in four main types.

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All over the UK, tens of thousands of children are being shown films containing graphic scenes of the rape and sexual abuse, drugging, trafficking, grooming, bullying and even murder of children. In the sector, they are well known as 'CSE resources' or 'CSE films' by practitioners and the suppliers. The films are shown to children as young as 8 years old in schools, social care services, residential care and children's charities. It was the next day that I started the #nomoreCSEfilms campaign to spread the message that these films could be causing serious harm to children. Over the months, more and more people wrote to me with their stories and experiences of children being harmed and professionals being traumatised by CSE films, drama productions and resources. Throughout my research and academic work, I discovered that the films had never been through ethical approval, never been tested and never been evaluated. I discovered that thousands of children had seen them despite us not even knowing whether they work. In this document, I have collated the letters I have received, the comments I have collected from professionals, parents and survivors of abuse and hundreds of signatures of professionals and parents who oppose the use of CSE films with children.

Discover the world's research

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ResearchGate has not been able to resolve any references for this publication.

I am in the progress of finalising a large literature review which pulls together all of the contributing societal factors that cause and encourage victim blaming of women who have been sexually as ... [more]

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Due to the reliability and validity issues that currently affect the measurement of victim blaming of women and girls following sexual violence, I am in the process of designing and testing a new m ... [more]

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Qualitative study with over 700 survivors of sexual violence to learn about their experiences of having sex and being intimate after rape, abuse or sexual violence. The study is mixed methods and d ... [more]

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(PDF) Can I tell you what it feels like? Exploring the harm caused by child sexual exploitation (CSE) films

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All over the UK, tens of thousands of children are being shown films containing graphic scenes of the rape and sexual abuse, drugging, trafficking, grooming, bullying and even murder of children. In the sector, they are well known as 'CSE resources' or 'CSE films' by practitioners and the suppliers.

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Agenda - Making positive relationships matter

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Agenda - Making positive relationships matter

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One link for PDF download https://agenda.wales/

or all resources (and extra ones)
https://agendaonline.co.uk/

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Agenda, a young people's guide to making positive relationships matter

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12 principles of good RSE as a poster.

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The cycle of self esteem is found within explore dream discover which is a fab pack

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Hand massage tips:

●Pinch the tips of your partner's fingers, holding each pinch for 2-3 seconds.

●Use your thumb to massage your partner’s palm starting in the middle and working your way outwards. Start with gentle pressure and increase as you go.

●Take the hand, palm facing upwards and massage the whole hand and forearm with gentle pressure movements. Then turn over the hand and repeat on the other side.

●Take the whole hand in your own hand with interlocking fingers (as if you are playing mercy!). Carefully turn the wrist from left to right and repeat from right to left.

•Discussion Questions

•What kinds of touch felt good?

•How did you communicate with each other about what did and did not feel good?

•Did you mainly talk (‘that feels good’), make noises (‘mmmmm’ / ‘ouch!’) or use movements (pulling away) to indicate what you did and did not enjoy? Which of these were most effective?

•How easy was it to communicate with each other?

•What kinds of things made it hard to communicate well?

•Reflection Questions

•Who took responsibility for the negotiation? Was it mainly the masseur asking questions (‘is this ok?’) or the person being massaged (‘touch me here’)? Whose responsibility should it be?

•What needs to be in place before, during and after for a massage to feel safe?

•How easy was it to refuse unwanted or uncomfortable touch? What kinds of things prevent us from refusing touch that we don’t want or enjoy?

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There are lots of really great pieces of research available - unfortunately quite a number are behind paywalls. If there is any area you're particularly interested in, email clarissa2.smith@northumbria.ac.uk and I'll make some suggestions.

Albury, K. et al., 2013. Young people and sexting in Australia: ethics, representation and the law, Sydney, N.S.W.: University of New South Wales. Available at: http://jmrc.arts.unsw.edu.au/media/File/YoungPeopleAndSextingFinal.pdf

Albury, K., 2014. Sexting, selfies and sex and relationships education in Australia. In Cultural Studies Association of Australasia Annual Conference. Wollongong; Jonsson, L. et al., 2013. Young people who produce and send nude images: Context, motivation and consequences, available at http://www.barnafrid.se/custom/uploads/2016/05/Young-people-who-produce-and-send-nude- images_Context-motivation-and-consequences.pdf

Allen, Louisa. "Breathing Life into Sexuality Education: Becoming Sexual Subjects." Philosophical Inquiry in Education 27, no. 1 (2020): 1-13. https://pdfs.semanticscholar.org/274e/8453a2ed5123205d9028ca7c677e1c6a3f58.pdf

Buckingham, D., 2015. Objectionable content? Young people, online porn and censorship. Available at: https://davidbuckingham.net/education-and-culture/children-youth-and-media/

De Ridder, S. & Van Bauwel, S., 2013. Commenting on pictures: Teens negotiating gender and sexualities on social networking sites. Sexualities, 16(5–6), pp.565–586.

DeHaan, S., Kuper, L.E., Magee, J.C., Bigelow, L. and Mustanski, B.S., 2013. The interplay between online and offline explorations of identity, relationships, and sex: A mixed-methods study with LGBT youth. Journal of Sex Research, 50(5), pp.421-434.

Dobson, A., 2011. Heterosexy representation by young women on MySpace: The politics of performing an objectified self. Outskirts, 25(June).

Dobson, A.S. & Ringrose, J., 2016. Sext education: pedagogies of sex, gender and shame in the schoolyards of Tagged and Exposed. Sex Education, 16(1), pp.8–21.

Dobson, A.S., 2018a. Sexting , intimate and sexual media practices , and social justice. In A. S. Dobson, B. Robards, & N. Carah, eds. Digital Intimate Publics and Social Media. Pagrave MacMillan.

Dobson, A.S., 2018b. ‘The things you didn’t do’: Gender, slut shaming, and the need to address sexual harassment in narrative resources responding to sexting and cyberbullying. In L. Green & H. Vandebosch, eds. Narratives in Research and Interventions on Cyberbullying among Young People. Springer.

Drouin, M. & Tobin, E., 2014. Computers in Human Behavior Unwanted but consensual sexting among young adults : Relations with attachment and sexual motivations. Computers in Human Behavior, 31, pp.412–418.

Evers, C.W., Albury, K., Byron, P. and Crawford, K., 2013. Young people, social media, social network sites and sexual health communication in Australia:" This is funny, you should watch it". International Journal of Communication, 7, p.18.

Eysenbach, G. 2008. Credibility of health information and digital media: New perspectives and implications for youth. In M. J. Metzger & A. J. Flanagin (Eds.), Digital media, youth, and credibility(pp. 123–154). Cambridge, MA: MIT Press.

Fisher, Kate, Jen Grove, and Rebecca Langlands. "'Sex and History': Talking Sex with Objects from the Past." The Palgrave Handbook of Sexuality Education (2016).

McKee, Alan, Kath Albury, Michael Dunne, Sue Grieshaber, John Hartley, Catharine Lumby, and Ben Mathews. "Healthy sexual development: A multidisciplinary framework for research." International Journal of Sexual Health 22, no. 1 (2010): 14-19.

McKee, Alan, Anne-Frances Watson, and Johanna Dore. "‘It's all scientific to me’: focus group insights into why young people do not apply safe-sex knowledge." Sex Education 14, no. 6 (2014): 652-665.

McKee, Alan, Anthony Walsh, and Anne-Frances Watson. "Using digitally distributed vulgar comedy to reach young men with information about healthy sexual development." Media International Australia 153, no. 1 (2014): 128-137.

Rachel H. Scott , Clarissa Smith , Eleanor Formby , Alison Hadley , LisaHallgarten , Alice Hoyle , Cicely Marston , Alan McKee & Dimitrios Tourountsis (2020) Whatand how: doing good research with young people, digital intimacies, and relationships and sexeducation, Sex Education, 20:6, 675-691, Available at: https://doi.org/10.1080/14681811.2020.1732337

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Activities for consulting with pupils about your RSE Policy 

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Activities for consulting with pupils about your RSE Policy 

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Moira Carmody, Sex, Ethics, and Young People CarmodyMoira, Sex, Ethics, and Young People. New York: Palgrave Macmillan, 2015; 213 pages. ISBN 978-1-137-42911-7

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Moira Carmody, Sex, Ethics, and Young People CarmodyMoira, Sex, Ethics, and Young People. New York: Palgrave Macmillan, 2015; 213 pages. ISBN 978-1-137-42911-7

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https://www.researchgate.net/publication/322658692_Moira_Carmody_Sex_Ethics_and_Young_People_CarmodyMoira_Sex_Ethics_and_Young_People_New_York_Palgrave_Macmillan_2015_213_pages_ISBN_978-1-137-42911-7_Hardback

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Values Egg for RSE - a reflective activity.

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Questions from Y7's, Y9's and Y11's to see development of understanding.

Any additional questions you have heard? Which questions are easy to answer? Which ones would you struggle with? Can you think of suitable answers for these questions?

Common Secondary Aged Questions

1. Is it normal to like both boys and girls?

2. I’m not attracted to anyone is that normal?

3.  How can I tell my mum I’ve started my period?

4. One of my breasts/testicles is larger than the other is this normal?

5. Is it ok to masturbate?/ Can you masturbate too much?

6. What’s the difference between gender and sexuality?

7. Should periods hurt a lot?

8.  Why do some people remove their pubic/body hair?

9. Why is everyone so obessed with sex?

10. How do two men/two women have sex?

11. Does sex hurt?

12. Is it normal for the inner lips to be outside the outer lips?

13. What does semen taste like?

14. How do people actually have sex?

15. How can I deal with my moods?

16. Do you have to have anal?

17. Why is everyone obsessed with labels for their gender and sexuality?

18. If you dont get boners does it mean you are gay?

19. What is an orgasm?

20. My boyfriend is sometimes mean to me in front of his mates, what can I do?

21. How can I make someone like me/love me?

22. Is it rape if you are drunk?

23. Can you watch too much porn? Is porn realistic?

24. Is sex always enjoyable?

25. Can you wear two condoms at once?

26. Can a woman rape a man?

27. Whats a g-spot?

28. Can you get pregnant without having sex?

29. Can you get an STI from oral?

30. Are orgasms good for you?

Also see PDF attachment

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https://www.sexeducationforum.org.uk/resources/frequently-asked-questions/1-what-relationships-and-sex-education

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My Clitoris https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fq6v-kIcG_Y&t=2s

Clitoris  documentary https://vimeo.com/222111805

The Clitoris a musical history https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k3E2pBC1R2A

Viva la Vulva https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0k-_4WloY6Y

Womb stories
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JZoFqIxlbk0