# data[].attributes.headline
How should we talk about strangulation with young people. 

# data[].attributes.subject
How should we talk about strangulation with young people. 

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Podcast: How should we talk about strangulation with young people?

# data[].attributes.body
Relationships, sex and health education Implementation of the 2020 curriculum guidance in school

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Relationships, sex and health education: 2020 curriculum implementation

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Research exploring how schools have implemented the relationships, sex and health education guidance.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Our review of published research highlighted the need for adults to better understand young people's different experiences.

We commissioned Cardiff University and University College London to work with us to design and conduct an exploratory research project to find out how young people are learning about relationships, sex and sexuality including:

how they seek information, support and advice

the potential barriers and opportunities they encounter

what they would like to learn more about.

The project was co-produced with a Young People's Advisory Group (YPAG), and drew on participatory and creative methods, as well as an online survey to generate insight into young people's own views and experiences.

Authors: Professor EJ Renold, Dr Sara Bragg, Chloe Gill, Dr Vicki Hollis, Rachel Margolis, Dr Ester McGeeney, Betsy Milne, Professor Jessica Ringrose, Dr Vicky Timperley and Dr Honor Young
Published: 2023

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.keywords[]
relationships sex and sexuality education

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
"We have to educate ourselves" How young people are learning about relationships, sex and sexuality | NSPCC Learning

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Find out what we learnt from an exploratory research project with young people to discover their views and recommendations for relationships, sex and sexuality education.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
CPD: Brook Sexual Behaviours Traffic Light Tool (RSE) Course

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Brook’s Sexual Behaviours Traffic Light Tool helps professionals to identify, understand and respond appropriately to sexual behaviours in young people.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
The Spotting the Signs Tool is designed to enable professionals who work with young people to better recognise CSE and CCE and safeguard young people.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Creatively co-constructing relationships, sex and sexuality education with young people - English

# data[].attributes.headline
A students guide to what you don’t know (student perspective on how they want teachers to deliver their RSHE.) 

# data[].attributes.subject
A students guide to what you don’t know (student perspective on how they want teachers to deliver their RSHE.) 

# data[].attributes.headline
Short animated documentary about the clitoris in French. 

# data[].attributes.subject
Short animated documentary about the clitoris in French. 

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Le clitoris - Animated Documentary (2016) by Lori Malépart-Traversy

# data[].attributes.headline
Challenging victim blaming language in online experiences of harassment. 

# data[].attributes.subject
Challenging victim blaming language in online experiences of harassment. 

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Children and young people’s views on learning about on learning about sex and relationships | NSPCC Learning

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Read our literature review for an insight into children’s different experiences of learning about relationships, sex and sexuality and how sex education can better match their lived experience.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.authors[].name
The Practical Guide to Love, Sex and Relationships

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
The Practical Guide to Love, Sex & Relationships: The good ship ‘Relationship’ (Yrs 9-10)

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.authors[].name
The Practical Guide to Love, Sex and Relationships

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
The Practical Guide to Love, Sex & Relationships: Rollercoaster  (Yrs 9-10)

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.authors[].name
The Practical Guide to Love, Sex and Relationships

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
The Practical Guide to Love, Sex & Relationships: Standing up for yourself - (Yrs 7-8)

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.authors[].name
The Practical Guide to Love, Sex and Relationships

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
The Practical Guide to Love, Sex & Relationships: The Truth About Desire (Yrs 9 & 10)

# data[].attributes.headline
What to do if you think you like someone

# data[].attributes.subject
What to do if you think you like someone

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.authors[].name
The Practical Guide to Love, Sex and Relationships

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
The Practical Guide to Love, Sex&Relationships: What to do if you think you like someone (Yrs 7- 8)

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.authors[].name
The Practical Guide to Love, Sex and Relationships

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
The Practical Guide to Love, Sex and Relationships - Freedom fighters (Gender). (Yrs 7 - 8)

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.authors[].name
The Practical Guide to Love, Sex and Relationships

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
The Practical Guide to Love, Sex & Relationships: Porn - what you should know (Yrs 8 and up)

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.authors[].name
The Practical Guide to Love, Sex and Relationships

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
The Practical Guide to Love, Sex & Relationships: When’s the Right Time? - (Yrs 9 and 10)

# data[].attributes.body
http://sexandhistory.exeter.ac.uk/

# data[].attributes.body
https://sketchfab.com/3d-models/ain-sakhri-lovers-71f7ffbfc41f4009b016faa5d0b8af6e

# data[].attributes.body
http://lgbthistory.exeter.ac.uk/

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
From an 11,000 year old sculpture to modern day pin badges, this website showcases incredible material from UK collections with free lesson ideas for using these objects as the basis of LGBT+ focused discussions within PSHE, RSE, or out-of-school activities.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
From an 11,000 year old sculpture to modern day pin badges, this website showcases incredible material from UK collections with free lesson ideas for using these objects as the basis of LGBT+ focused discussions within PSHE, RSE, or out-of-school activities.

# data[].attributes.body
•Taking care of me

•Taking care of you

•Having an equal say

•Learning as we go

Ditty from Jenny Walsh based on the work of Moira Carmody.

From a practical guide to love sex and relationships https://www.lovesexrelationships.edu.au/

# data[].attributes.body
Hand massage tips:

●Pinch the tips of your partner's fingers, holding each pinch for 2-3 seconds.

●Use your thumb to massage your partner’s palm starting in the middle and working your way outwards. Start with gentle pressure and increase as you go.

●Take the hand, palm facing upwards and massage the whole hand and forearm with gentle pressure movements. Then turn over the hand and repeat on the other side.

●Take the whole hand in your own hand with interlocking fingers (as if you are playing mercy!). Carefully turn the wrist from left to right and repeat from right to left.

•Discussion Questions

•What kinds of touch felt good?

•How did you communicate with each other about what did and did not feel good?

•Did you mainly talk (‘that feels good’), make noises (‘mmmmm’ / ‘ouch!’) or use movements (pulling away) to indicate what you did and did not enjoy? Which of these were most effective?

•How easy was it to communicate with each other?

•What kinds of things made it hard to communicate well?

•Reflection Questions

•Who took responsibility for the negotiation? Was it mainly the masseur asking questions (‘is this ok?’) or the person being massaged (‘touch me here’)? Whose responsibility should it be?

•What needs to be in place before, during and after for a massage to feel safe?

•How easy was it to refuse unwanted or uncomfortable touch? What kinds of things prevent us from refusing touch that we don’t want or enjoy?

# data[].attributes.body
Activities in particular to do:
Stop start plates
What jars you
Everybody matters
•http://agendaonline.co.uk/

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
AGENDA is a resource for educational practitioners who want to support children and young people (age 7-18) to make positive relationships matter in their school and community. Through starter activities and case studies, AGENDA invites you to explore inclusive, creative and rights-based approaches to a range of issues including: AGENDA covers a broad ...

# data[].attributes.headline
15 Domains of Healthy Sexual Development

# data[].attributes.subject
15 Domains of Healthy Sexual Development

# data[].attributes.body
https://www.rsehub.org.uk/resources/15-domains-of-healthy-sexual-development/

# data[].attributes.body
The cycle of self esteem is found within explore dream discover which is a fab pack

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
A comedy drama for SRE (or RSE) lessons about Ryan and Natalie - two young people struggling through their first sexual encounter, and having to deal with each other's expectations, a shiny trumpet and way too many cats. It's ideal for opening up discussion about consent, peer pressure and the internet's influence on relationships.

A film by Adam Tyler.

Adam Tyler (who wrote and directed the film) won the Writer category of the BAFTA Children's Awards 2017.

Alhaji Fofana (Ryan) won the Performer category at the BAFTA Children's Awards 2017

Savannah Baker (Natalie) was also nominated in the Performer category.

Winner of the Educational Film Award at the Learning on Screen Awards 2018

Winner of the Children's Award at the Sandford St Martin Trust Awards 2018

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
A comedy drama for SRE (or RSE) lessons about Ryan and Natalie - two young people struggling through their first sexual encounter, and having to deal with each other's expectations, a shiny trumpet and way too many cats. It's ideal for opening up discussion about consent, peer pressure and the internet's influence on relationships.

# data[].attributes.body
Useful resources

# data[].attributes.body
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hl6R4EnAIkA

# data[].attributes.headline
Great Relationships and Sex Education. 200+ actvities for educators working with young people.

# data[].attributes.subject
Great Relationships and Sex Education. 200+ actvities for educators working with young people.

# data[].attributes.body
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Relationships-Education-Lesson-Ideas-Century/dp/0815393636

# data[].attributes.headline
Activities for consulting with pupils about your RSE Policy 

# data[].attributes.subject
Activities for consulting with pupils about your RSE Policy 

# data[].attributes.headline
List of activities good for getting started with RSE

# data[].attributes.subject
List of activities good for getting started with RSE

# data[].attributes.body
•Taking care of me

•Everybody matters

•Comfort stretch panic

•Our bodies are awesome

•Cycle of Self esteem

•Mind Flower

•HALT

•Wellbeing toolkit

Taking care of you

•Feel good jenga

•Relationship Venna Diagrams

•Duplo relationship bridges

•Teaching consent using pets

•Consent Handshake

•Hand massage

•Consent continuum

Having an equal say

•Traffic lights

•Pregnancy Test role play

•Agenda

•Sex Gender and Sexual Orientation Venn

•Power and privilege

•Equality Versus Equity

Learning as we go

•Puberty party

•Body fluids

•Object based learning

•Sex and History

•Playdoh pleasure anatomies

Concluding the learning

•Pop it on a postcard

•Explain it to an alien

•Emoji evaluation

•Problem pages

# data[].attributes.body
My Clitoris https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fq6v-kIcG_Y&t=2s

Clitoris  documentary https://vimeo.com/222111805

The Clitoris a musical history https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k3E2pBC1R2A

Viva la Vulva https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0k-_4WloY6Y

Womb stories
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JZoFqIxlbk0

# data[].attributes.body
RSE courses online professional training (mostly free)

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Skip Slideshow Skip <span>OUR DIGITAL LEARNING COURSES AND RESOURCES</span>Skip <span>Full PSHE curriculum</span>Skip Custom HTML

Skip <span>Our featured courses</span>

Our featured courses

Our aim is to equip you with everything you need to provide exceptional relationships and sex education and wellbeing support to young people. Brook delivers RSE training to teachers, sessions with young people and supports schools to develop effective plans and policies.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Skip Slideshow Skip OUR DIGITAL LEARNING COURSES AND RESOURCES Skip Full PSHE curriculum Skip Custom HTML Skip Our featured courses Our aim is to equip you with everything you need to provide exceptional relationships and sex education and wellbeing support to young people.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.provider_name
Bish Training - Sex & Relationships Education

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
You might have either seen the tea and consent video, or read the original blog (which I much prefer). They are increasingly being used as a teaching tool, which I don't think is a great idea. So I thought I'd share my thoughts about what the analogy needs to be a more useful resource and why I think there are better analogies. You might also want to check out my new Consent Teaching Pack, for other unique activities for people to learn how to do consent.

Tyranny of Tea - societal pressure

The tea video goes straight into the interaction about whether someone wants tea or not. However it would be really useful to first of all point out the tyranny of tea and how it seems to be so essential to our very existence. We all receive messages (particularly in the UK and Ireland) about the importance of tea: 'we're a nation of tea drinkers', 'let's sort the problem out over a cup of tea', the national institution of afternoon tea. Even one of the UK national sports has a break specifically to drink the stuff.

This also plays out with the people around us which: 'the kettle's on', 'there's tea in the pot', 'we're all having tea', 'I'm having a brew do you want one', ' go on have a cup of tea '. It's presented as such a benevolent, harmless and normal thing that we can feel very abnormal for not wanting tea - or any hot caffeinated drinks at all - which puts us under a lot of pressure to get used to drinking it (even if we really don't like it).

Same with sex right? Sex is seen as such a benevolent, healthy and normal activity that everyone is expected to do it. To not want sex at all: because someone isn't interested, or wants sex in a committed relationship, is practicing celibacy, or is asexual is seen as so unusual that people receive tremendous stigma about it.

Tea is for everyone - sex isn't

However although pretty much everyone is expected to drink tea, and receives status if they do so, it's not the same for sex. Only some people are seen as being able to have sex (e.g. not disabled and over 16 but under 50) and some people get status for doing it and some stigma. When we factor in all of our different identities (e.g. genders, sexual identities, age, race, class, disability, HIV status, etc) we might find that sometimes we are given more or less status or stigma around our sexuality depending on our oppressions and privileges.

Often this is played out between what men are taught about sex (e.g. lad points, real man, stud, men love sex all the time) and what women are taught (e.g. slut, slag, sket, women are not meant to like it). But think about all the other messages that people hear from different groups and add them all together if this applies. These powerful messages come from everywhere and are played back to us from an early age until now, sometimes consciously and directly but often not. They are very difficult to escape or deal with or process and they can have a huge affect on our sexual decision making and our sense of agency.

If we factor in another person (or people) here then we can see that we may often have more or less power in a sexual encounter - we need to be able to have a sense of this with the people around us, in all encounters, not just sexual. However because of the seeming convergence of sex and relationships (the idea that we 'must' have sex if we are in a relationship and that the only time sex is allowed is when we are in a relationship) this also means that there is often a difference in power in relationships too. I'll reflect on this a bit later on.

What counts as tea - normative scripts

If I ask for 'a cup of tea' in the UK I know what I'm going to get: English/Irish breakfast blend with some milk. There's a very strong script of what counts as tea - anything else is a bit exotic, or specialist, or frankly sometimes just not tea. Maybe you might get asked how strong you like tea (how much milk you want), or how many sugars, but that's it.

Same with sex right? A huge part of consent is recognising that the choices we make are massively restricted by the messages about what it is that we are allowed to do. Sex is penis in vagina sex: anything else is seen as exotic, specialist or frankly just not sex. This kind of sex is the only game in town and we're under a lot of pressure to do it even if we don't want to. And of course if we don't have the bodies that can do penis in vagina sex then we are excluded altogether.

Not saying no - power in relationships

Like many people I often imagine Nigella Lawson asking if I'd like a cup of tea. I don't think that I could do anything other than say 'yes please, I'd love a cup of tea' even if I didn't actually want a cup of tea. I don't think there's any way I could be cool and say something like:

'sure, what kind of tea do you have in mind'
'how are you going to brew it'
'are you having the same or would you like me to make you something different?'

I'd just nervously agree to the tea because I really really fancy her and just want her to like me (or for her not to dislike me).

I think if the tea arrived and I didn't like how she brewed it (e.g. she used a tea bag and even put the milk in before taking the tea bag out) I think I would drink the tea anyway. I think I would even pretend it was a really great cup of tea even if I thought it was terrible. I'd probably make sure to drink all of it even if it was a giant seemingly endless mug of tea. I wouldn't want her to think that I didn't enjoy it and I'd also feel guilty about not drinking a cup of tea that someone had offered me and spent some time preparing even though I didn't want it in the first place.

In the tea video there's nothing about the power of societal and cultural scripts and messages about what counts as tea, but there's also nothing about the power in interpersonal relationships. Interactions about whether people have sex or not often involve higher stakes than negotiations about a cup of tea and often the stakes can be higher for one person than it is for another.

In my example about me and Nigella, to her offering a cup of tea might be a kind but mundane gesture, to me it would mean something entirely different as it might mean acceptance or interest from a famous person I fancy a lot. Imagine how I would feel if Nigella asked me out on a date!

But enough about Nigella and me (*swoon*), power exists where people know each other too. For example in a long term cohabiting relationship turning down a cup of tea, or asking for a different kind of tea or different kind of drink altogether, or having a cup of tea given to you even if you didn't ask for one is no big deal. But if we substitute tea for sex here, it can be a huge deal. Also the pressure to have sex in a 'love' relationship is huge and often people think that because they are in love they should have sex - whenever their partner wants. Or sometimes the word love can be used to coerce people into sex: 'but I thought you loved me?'

We can't step outside of the messages of culture and society but it's also difficult to step out of the almost inevitable power differences between people and this can have a huge impact on how much agency we feel we have. We can see that this stuff is actually quite complicated. It's also about far more than just yes or no.

Tea might be yes/no but sex isn't

One of the biggest problems when we over simplify conversations about consent is when we boil it down to a one time yes or no negotiation. I've worked with and listened to many many people (thousands) about consent and sexual encounters and it's clear to me that we need much more than a yes means yes and no means no understanding of consent. From the student who said: "so if two people have sex and neither of them says yes or no, is it consensual sex?" to the woman who when I asked whether sex was consensual or not she said "yeah I didn't say no, so it wasn't rape." On the one hand of course yes means yes and no means no, and the absence of a no does not mean a yes, but we all need much more than this very simple message to understand how consent feels for us and how to practice it.

The ability to use words to get and give consent is great for people who are confident enough to say 'would you like to have sex?' or 'yes I would like to have sex'. But many people just aren't able to do that - see above about agency, power and who is allowed to have sex. Even if people were able to do this, that agreement only applies at that fixed moment in time. Tea might be a one off decision resulting in a binary result of having tea/not having tea, but sex isn't.

Checking in and paying attention

So going back to Nigella. I'd like to think that she's pretty cool and understands that there is a power dynamic going on and that even though I said 'yes' to the tea I might actually be pretending to enjoy it.

So I reckon she might pay really close attention to whether I really wanted the tea: how enthusiastic was I in my response, did I seem happy when she put the mug down, what my facial expressions are when I'm drinking it, am I making noises indicating enjoyment, how quickly I'm drinking it, how much I drank. I think she'd check in with me afterwards too. I'd like to think that at any point if I seemed unhappy she'd offer to make me another drink, or very gently give me permission to leave it, or not make a big thing about not taking it with me when we move into another room.

Maybe you could try this the next time you have a cup of tea with someone?

Sexual consent isn't a one time yes, no negotiation. It's a constant series of decisions, negotiations and communications. If someone has clearly and verbally agreed to sex, or whether they are following a script for sex (e.g. kissing, 'foreplay', penis in vagina), it's important to keep paying attention to them and to check in if we're not sure that they are enjoying it, or at least not not enjoying it. This is where the tea analogy really falls down in my view.

Closes down conversation

Many people have said that it's not a perfect analogy but at least it opens up the conversation about consent. Mmmm maybe. I think the tone of the blog and the tone of the video are kind of different. The video implies that consent is all very simple: if someone doesn't want tea don't give them tea, if someone is asleep they can't consent to tea, don't give them tea. In my view the tone of the video is there are smart people who get this and there are stupid people that don't.

I don't think so. I think it's totally possible to understand this view of consent but also to act in a non-consensual way. I think it's also good to reframe the 'they' to a 'we' because I think the video creates this idea of an 'other' or a 'them and us'. We are all capable of behaving in consensual and non-consensual ways when it comes to sex, bodily contact and social situations - all of us.

If we're sleeping over with someone how to check if we can touch each other in the middle of the night. Knowing what to do with our hands when snogging. Not touching people on the dancefloor or at a gig without any communication that that is what they wanted. Hearing other people when they say they don't want another drink. Respecting people when they want to stay in. Asking if holding hands or hugging is okay. Being able to ask open questions rather than closed ones. Understanding that it's harder for some people to say what they want for dinner than others. Asking before we touch or hug people.

Why doesn't this work as a sex education tool? It's simplistic but it's also just about knowledge. I think it's completely possible for someone to remember every word of the video and not behave consensually. Good sex and relationships education is about skills (e.g. communication), values (e.g. understanding power difference) and our own feelings (e.g. what it feels like for someone to really respect what you want). The tea thing isn't very people centred. If you're going to run a workshop or a class about consent you need to give people an opportunity to really explore their own actions and how this feels for them. It's maybe a useful thing to share on social media and say 'have you seen this?' but really, has it helped you to understand consent? Has the way you've though about consent changed? Have your behaviours changed at all after watching the video?

Folk are tired of just being told what to think. Good SRE is about giving people the space to think critically and a safe space to reflect on their own stuff. This is why I prefer working with an experiential learning method around consent - such as handshakes, which Meg John Barker and I have been working on. Go and check it out, it's totally free. MJ and I have done this with therapists, teachers, youth workers, academics, young people at school and Uni and even paying members of the general public - it works really well.

If you're working with over 14s you might want to sign up for free support, resources and lesson plans (written by me and Alice Hoyle with advice and guidance from Meg John) to deliver a unique six week SRE programme which is all about self (and power), what is expected of us, love, consent and reducing risk. Check out DO... it's all free.

For a post about how consent might feel go here, for how to put that into practice go here,

If you'd like to book a training course with me on consent for up to 16 people go here. Or if you would like me to come and teach it in person go here.

© Justin Hancock, bishtraining.com 2015

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
"Have You Seen That Tea and Consent Video?" - Bish Training - Sex & Relationships Education

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
You might have either seen the tea and consent video, or read the original blog (which I much prefer). They are increasingly being used as a teaching tool, which I don't think is a great idea. So I thought I'd share my thoughts about what the analogy needs to be a more useful resource and why I think there are better analogies.

# data[].attributes.headline
Curriculum design tool (age and stage appropriate sex ed)

# data[].attributes.subject
Curriculum design tool (age and stage appropriate sex ed)

# data[].attributes.body
Sex Education forum Curriculum design tool which includes a lifecourse approach to relationships and sex education: https://www.sexeducationforum.org.uk/sites/default/files/field/attachment/SEF_Curriculum%20Design%202018.pdf

# data[].attributes.body
There are lots of really great pieces of research available - unfortunately quite a number are behind paywalls. If there is any area you're particularly interested in, email clarissa2.smith@northumbria.ac.uk and I'll make some suggestions.

Albury, K. et al., 2013. Young people and sexting in Australia: ethics, representation and the law, Sydney, N.S.W.: University of New South Wales. Available at: http://jmrc.arts.unsw.edu.au/media/File/YoungPeopleAndSextingFinal.pdf

Albury, K., 2014. Sexting, selfies and sex and relationships education in Australia. In Cultural Studies Association of Australasia Annual Conference. Wollongong; Jonsson, L. et al., 2013. Young people who produce and send nude images: Context, motivation and consequences, available at http://www.barnafrid.se/custom/uploads/2016/05/Young-people-who-produce-and-send-nude- images_Context-motivation-and-consequences.pdf

Allen, Louisa. "Breathing Life into Sexuality Education: Becoming Sexual Subjects." Philosophical Inquiry in Education 27, no. 1 (2020): 1-13. https://pdfs.semanticscholar.org/274e/8453a2ed5123205d9028ca7c677e1c6a3f58.pdf

Buckingham, D., 2015. Objectionable content? Young people, online porn and censorship. Available at: https://davidbuckingham.net/education-and-culture/children-youth-and-media/

De Ridder, S. & Van Bauwel, S., 2013. Commenting on pictures: Teens negotiating gender and sexualities on social networking sites. Sexualities, 16(5–6), pp.565–586.

DeHaan, S., Kuper, L.E., Magee, J.C., Bigelow, L. and Mustanski, B.S., 2013. The interplay between online and offline explorations of identity, relationships, and sex: A mixed-methods study with LGBT youth. Journal of Sex Research, 50(5), pp.421-434.

Dobson, A., 2011. Heterosexy representation by young women on MySpace: The politics of performing an objectified self. Outskirts, 25(June).

Dobson, A.S. & Ringrose, J., 2016. Sext education: pedagogies of sex, gender and shame in the schoolyards of Tagged and Exposed. Sex Education, 16(1), pp.8–21.

Dobson, A.S., 2018a. Sexting , intimate and sexual media practices , and social justice. In A. S. Dobson, B. Robards, & N. Carah, eds. Digital Intimate Publics and Social Media. Pagrave MacMillan.

Dobson, A.S., 2018b. ‘The things you didn’t do’: Gender, slut shaming, and the need to address sexual harassment in narrative resources responding to sexting and cyberbullying. In L. Green & H. Vandebosch, eds. Narratives in Research and Interventions on Cyberbullying among Young People. Springer.

Drouin, M. & Tobin, E., 2014. Computers in Human Behavior Unwanted but consensual sexting among young adults : Relations with attachment and sexual motivations. Computers in Human Behavior, 31, pp.412–418.

Evers, C.W., Albury, K., Byron, P. and Crawford, K., 2013. Young people, social media, social network sites and sexual health communication in Australia:" This is funny, you should watch it". International Journal of Communication, 7, p.18.

Eysenbach, G. 2008. Credibility of health information and digital media: New perspectives and implications for youth. In M. J. Metzger & A. J. Flanagin (Eds.), Digital media, youth, and credibility(pp. 123–154). Cambridge, MA: MIT Press.

Fisher, Kate, Jen Grove, and Rebecca Langlands. "'Sex and History': Talking Sex with Objects from the Past." The Palgrave Handbook of Sexuality Education (2016).

McKee, Alan, Kath Albury, Michael Dunne, Sue Grieshaber, John Hartley, Catharine Lumby, and Ben Mathews. "Healthy sexual development: A multidisciplinary framework for research." International Journal of Sexual Health 22, no. 1 (2010): 14-19.

McKee, Alan, Anne-Frances Watson, and Johanna Dore. "‘It's all scientific to me’: focus group insights into why young people do not apply safe-sex knowledge." Sex Education 14, no. 6 (2014): 652-665.

McKee, Alan, Anthony Walsh, and Anne-Frances Watson. "Using digitally distributed vulgar comedy to reach young men with information about healthy sexual development." Media International Australia 153, no. 1 (2014): 128-137.

Rachel H. Scott , Clarissa Smith , Eleanor Formby , Alison Hadley , LisaHallgarten , Alice Hoyle , Cicely Marston , Alan McKee & Dimitrios Tourountsis (2020) Whatand how: doing good research with young people, digital intimacies, and relationships and sexeducation, Sex Education, 20:6, 675-691, Available at: https://doi.org/10.1080/14681811.2020.1732337

# data[].attributes.body
https://www.sexeducationforum.org.uk/resources/frequently-asked-questions/1-what-relationships-and-sex-education

# data[].attributes.body
http://bodysense.org.uk/wordpress/?product=wendy-female-genitalia-and-reproductive-organs-african-caribbean

# data[].attributes.body
https://amystenzel.wixsite.com/vulvacademy/printable-3d-files

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Scarleteen | Sex Education For The Real World

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Inclusive, comprehensive, supportive sexuality and relationships info for teens and emerging adults.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.provider_name
Bish Training - Sex & Relationships Education

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Description

As well as talking about porn this download resource pack enables conversations around self-esteem, body image, boundaries, pleasure, consent, communication, safer sex, sexual safety, the law, emotions, relationships, gender and sexual diversity and oppression.

"We have been using the planet porn with young people who have committed sexually harmful behaviour and I can honestly say it's been superb."

What's in the pack?

The pack contains a number of activities and resources which all come in a pdf and a powerpoint document: so you have the choice to print the resources out or use them as slides to teach with and to move the images around to suit.
Planet Porn Game
A straight forward card discussion game. Take it in turns to decide whether the statement belongs on 'Planet Earth' (real life sex) or 'Planet Porn' (porn sex) (or somewhere in between the two - which is most likely). Now with 42 cards! Each card has new and improved explanatory notes to aid discussion and learning. Also now easier to print.
Is It Legal, Is It Right?
This activity provides a brief factual analysis of current UK law around porn. It also presents various scenarios relating to porn which may be relevant to many young people, raising various ethical issues around sex tapes, watching porn under age and privacy.
NEW! Sexting Posters, Images and Handouts
Exclusive posters and handouts for you to use in conjunction with the other activities in the pack. Like the Bish Leaflets you can print your own as many times as you like. All the information that young people need to stay safe and make informed decisions (without scary moral panics).
Porn Challenge
This activity challenges people to think of ways to present sexy scenes and images which are safe, consensual, promote equality and diversity and don't make assumptions about who may be watching porn.
Dear Doctor Love
A problem page activity which explores relationship issues like trust, intimacy, boundaries, safety, jealousy, independence, self-esteem and communication through the medium of problems that a partner of a pornstar or glamour model might face.
NEW! Where Do People See Sexual Images
An activity exploring what we mean by 'sexual images', where people see them and what they might see. Great for opening up the conversation and for introducing Planet Porn.
NEW! Summary of the Evidence for Young People and Porn
Summary of the most authoritative reviews and research into exactly how many young people look at porn, what the effects might be and what they do with it.
Relationships and Sex Education
I wouldn't recommend this pack be used as a starting point with young people around RSE. For a complete, PSHE Association approved RSE course check out the free resources at DO... (which I was involved in writing) and also my new Consent Teaching Pack and Love, Innit my resource pack for teaching about relationships.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Planet Porn - A teaching pack about porn, sex, sexuality and gender.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
As well as talking about porn this download resource pack enables conversations around self-esteem, body image, boundaries, pleasure, consent, communication, safer sex, sexual safety, the law, emotions, relationships, gender and sexual diversity and oppression. "We have been using the planet porn with young people who have committed sexually harmful behaviour and I can honestly say it's been superb."

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
There really is no such thing as a 'normal' vulva. Like so many areas of our body, vulvas come in lots of different shapes, sizes and colours. The labia can hang down or be barely visible.

# data[].attributes.body
Useful for professionals to brush up on their penis knowledge

# data[].attributes.body
Useful for professionals to brush up on their vulva knowledge.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
What every woman needs to know about her genitals The booklet provides knowledge about the female body, focusing on the pussy and its sexual functions. The text discusses anatomy, gynecology and sexual desire. It is intended för non-scientific readers wishing to learn more about female sexuality.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
RSE Teachers are the best (29.7 x 21 cm) (3)

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Activity exploring spread of STI's including HIV

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
This activity is suitable for a secondary Science or PSHE lessons exploring the spread of disease including STI's. It is a simple but very effective lesson to do and

# data[].attributes.body
This is draft. Feedback welcome.

# data[].attributes.headline
Practical Guide to Love Sex and Relationships 

# data[].attributes.subject
Practical Guide to Love Sex and Relationships 

# data[].attributes.body
This resouce covers Sexual Ethics in a really accessible way. Some fab videos (be warned some swearing) to get the points across.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.provider_name
The Practical Guide to Love, Sex and Relationships

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
The Practical Guide to Love, Sex and Relationships

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
A teaching resource from the Australian Research Centre in Sex, Health and Society, La Trobe University, exploring relationships, sexual consent, equity and sexual and reproductive health. Funded by the Australian Government.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
DO lesson 4 communication consent and sex

# data[].attributes.headline
Puberty and Sexuality Resource for SEND pupils

# data[].attributes.subject
Puberty and Sexuality Resource for SEND pupils

# data[].attributes.body
Also visit JKP publishers, Claire Lightley consulting, Image in Action and Bodysense for SEND specific RSE resouces.

# data[].attributes.body
To be used in conjunction with the Great RSE book. Includes digrams of sexual and reproductive organs.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Brook | Shop | Best Practice Toolkit: Abortion Education

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Brook COVID-19 (coronavirus) response: view latest advice and service updates

# data[].attributes.headline
Agenda - Making positive relationships matter

# data[].attributes.subject
Agenda - Making positive relationships matter

# data[].attributes.body
One link for PDF download https://agenda.wales/

or all resources (and extra ones)
https://agendaonline.co.uk/

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Agenda, a young people's guide to making positive relationships matter

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Skip to content

Our Projects

Project deSHAME aims to tackle peer-based online sexual harassment by empowering local communities to work together to increase reporting among young people.

Access our free resources and learn more:

Looking for Project deSHAME resources in other languages?

Danish

Hosted here by Red Barnet.

Welsh

Hosted here by the Welsh Government

Defining online sexual harassment

Project deSHAME defines this as 'unwanted sexual conduct on any digital platform' and has categorised it in four main types.

About Project deSHAME

Project deSHAME is an EU-funded project to prevent and respond to online sexual harassment.

International Adaptation Toolkit

This toolkit was created to help other countries and organisations run a project to tackle online sexual harassment.

Research report

This report presents findings from quantitative and qualitative research conducted across Denmark, Hungary and the UK.

Impact Report

This report looks at the feedback from young people and teachers in response to the piloting of resources created by Project deSHAME.

We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. By clicking "Accept All", you consent to the use of ALL the cookies. However, you may visit "Cookie Settings" to provide a controlled consent.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Skip to content Our Projects Project deSHAME aims to tackle peer-based online sexual harassment by empowering local communities to work together to increase reporting among young people. Danish Hosted here by Red Barnet. Welsh Hosted here by the Welsh Government Defining online sexual harassment Project deSHAME defines this as 'unwanted sexual conduct on any digital platform' and has categorised it in four main types.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Using Love Life resources

The films

There are three films featuring Ash, her friend Jim and her sister Steph.

You can watch the films independently or as a series, although it's most helpful to work through them in the order we've suggested.

Each film is designed to open up different ways of talking about different topics.

Delivering Love Life

The films and resources are designed to be used as part of your ongoing discussions about growing up, relationships and emotions.

The young people you work with may have a range of needs, so the films and activities are flexible and adaptable.

Watch the films in advance and decide how best to introduce them. Choose the activities you think are most suitable and adapt them as necessary. For example, some young people may need help writing or drawing.

We haven't included timings for the activities - these will vary depending on the size of group and needs of the young people you're working with. You could devote a full day to doing all the activities and include two viewings of the films, or carry out individual activities over a number of weeks with repeat viewings of the films.

Some of the activities require you to have specific materials available. These are listed on the activity plan.

It's also helpful to have books on related topics available, which young people can look at in their own time.
> Look at our reading list of resources that can help you deliver Love Life
Upsetting content

While we've taken care to present the issues in Love Life in a non-threatening way, there may be some topics that are upsetting for the children and young people you work with.

Make sure you know how to spot any signs that may indicate a child is at risk of or experiencing abuse and respond appropriately.
> Find out more about recognising and responding to abuse
If a child or young person needs to talk to anyone confidentially, they can contact Childline for free on 0800 1111 or online. You can also download or order Childline posters and wallet cards.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Love Life: resources for young people with learning disabilities | NSPCC Learning

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Films and activities to help young people with special educational needs and learning disabilities learn about emotions, relationships and identity.

# data[].attributes.body
Young people can get really bogged down in the legalities when the law can be complicated. Useful young people friendly overview provided below but a useful reframe from Is it legal to Is it right? (The ethical dimension)

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Sex and the law. Under age sex, consent, rape, sexual assault, outside sex, porn, abortions, confidentiality, marriage... Boring but very important.

Little known fact: I have a law degree. Yes it's Bish LLB (Hons). And for the first time in my working life it is relevant. These laws are the ones that people ask me about the most. They are for the UK (Great Britain and Northern Ireland).

Confidentiality for young people

Even if you are under 16, you have the right to a confidential service for condoms, contraception, check-ups and advice. Confidential means that clinics do not tell anyone they have seen you unless they need to protect you or someone else from a serious risk of harm. If they do have to tell someone they would always try to ask you first.

Marriage

The legal age for marriage and civil partnerships is 16 with parental consent or 18 without. (In Scotland you don't need parental consent at 16 - which is why Gretna Green is a famous place to get married). It's legal for same sex couples to marry in the UK except in Northern Ireland.

Abortion

A young woman under 16 can have an abortion without her parents knowing (if two doctors agree that she is mature enough and that it's in her best interests). They are legal in Great Britain up to 24 weeks of pregnancy (terminations at this late stage of pregnancy are very rare).

In Northern Ireland abortion is now legal up to 12 weeks of pregnancy unconditionally. Up to 24 weeks a termination is available if continuing with pregnancy would be a greater risk to the physical or mental health of the woman.

Young women usually want to tell parents or another responsible adult. Doctors will encourage this but will not force them to. It is a decision that only the woman can make: men have no legal say.

Here's more information on where you can find your nearest sexual health service in the UK where you can chat about your pregnancy options and be referred for an abortion.

Sex outside

There are a number of laws to do with having sex outside. It can be illegal to show male or female genitals in public. It is illegal to have sex in a public toilet (even in a locked cubicle). It is also an offence to have sex in public if it is near a children's play area.

People having sex outside can also be guilty of 'outraging public decency', unless they could have expected a reasonable degree of privacy and did what they could to prevent being seen.

That's the legals, but what do you think? Should people have sex outside?

Porn

It is legal to look at porn so long as it does not feature: under 18s, sex with animals, torture, scenes of rape or sexual assault or violent scenes which are life threatening or likely to cause serious harm.

You need to be 18 to buy porn magazines or videos and most porn websites try to prevent under 18s from accessing them. Don't film yourself having sex if you are under 18 because that's child porn: seriously.

It's also illegal to watch porn with someone under 18. (This is to try and prevent sexual abuse of children, but can apply even if you are both under 18 and both wanted to watch it.)

More about Porn Laws here

Consent

When having any kind of sexual contact with someone, both people must consent to it happening, otherwise it is against the law.

'A person consents if [s]he agrees by choice, and has the freedom and capacity to make that choice.' Just because someone isn't protesting or saying no does not mean that they are agreeing to sex.

If someone is really drunk or stoned then they may lack the capacity to be able to consent, particularly if they pass out or forget what happened. This means that any sexual contact at that time could be unlawful; eg rape.

If there was any violence or perceived threat of violence, if the victim was trapped or locked in a room, if the victim couldn't communicate their non-consent, if the victim was unconscious or if the victim was drugged, then the court may rule that there was no consent.

Also if the victim was tricked into sex (either about who or what it will involve) it is unlawful.

And consent is a continuing act, so someone may agree to something but if they then change their mind half way through, the other person must stop.

Rules about consent apply in marriage or any long term relationship. If someone (man or woman) does not want sex then you can not force them.

If you are in any doubt as to whether someone is consenting, or whether they have lost the capacity to consent, then don't have sex. Here's more detail about consent and the law.

Sex without consent

Sex without consent is against the law - there are lots of different crimes about this but all of them are really serious. Rape (penetration of mouth, vagina or anus with the penis), assault by penetration (with fingers or objects), sexual assault (any sexual touching at all), causing someone to have sex.

Apart from rape, the offender can be a man or a woman (or a transsexual male to female with a penis).

Those affected and want to report it or get support can report it to the Police, or a sexual assault referral centre. For more visit www.rapecrisis.org.uk

Under age sex
Young people are highly unlikely to be prosecuted for any of these offences below if the people involved were the same or similar age and if the sex was clearly agreed with no abuse or exploitation.
In the UK you have to be 16 to have sexual activity* with someone. So, a couple of 15 year olds would (technically) be breaking the law. If it was a 16 and 15 year old, the 16 year old would be breaking the law.

This applies to under 13s (which is a separate, more serious, offence) or between 13 to 16 (unless that person reasonably believes the other person to be over 16). This applies to men and women and is the same for all genders and sexualities.

Under age sex is illegal whether there was consent or not. So for example, it wouldn't be a defence for an 18 year old to say that a 14 year old was agreeing to have sex. If the 14 was not agreeing to have sex that would be both rape/sexual assault and under age sex. Someone under 13 can't consent to sex under the law so this would be treated as rape/sexual assault.

* Under the law (s78 Sexual Offences Act 2003 for you legal geeks) sexual activity is defined as what a reasonable person would consider sexual. So it's not just penetrative sex that is illegal under 16, it could be masturbation, naked touching, or even touching over clothes.

There are a number of other offences to protect children and young people from abuse. (Again it's unlikely that people of the same or similar age who clearly agreed and were not being abused would be prosecuted.)

Causing or inciting an under 16 to engage in sexual activity, either with them or someone else. (So this could include convincing someone to have sex with someone else (eg prostitution or group sex)).

It's illegal to have sexual activity in front of someone under 16 (so someone masturbating on a webcam to someone under 16 is breaking the law).

It can be illegal to show porn to someone under 16 (if the purpose is for sexual gratification).

It is now illegal for someone over 18 to meet with someone under 16 after communicating with them on the internet for the purposes of sex (called 'grooming').

It's illegal for anyone in a position of trust (eg teacher, youth worker) to have sex with someone they work with or look after who is under 18. There are also laws to prevent any sexual acts with someone under 18 who is a family member.

If you are really really interested in the law and sex here is the Sexual Offences Act 2003

http://www.opsi.gov.uk/acts/acts2003/ukpga_20030042_en_1

© Justin Hancock, 2021.

I have a new book! Please buy it (if you want to, no pressure, it would please me if you did, but your call). More details here.

If you like could you please share it with your peoples. BISH is also on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, and YouTube. No I'm not on TikTok.

Do leave a comment below if you have anything you'd like to add or if you have questions. I moderate all comments before they go live. You can also ask me questions If you want to leave me some nice feedback please do

BISH is sponsored by , thank you Durex. It's also funded by your kind donations. If you're an adult with cash, please consider supporting my Patreon or chip in directly via my So if you could help with that I'd be very grateful.

If you want to teach about this stuff, don't just show people a website - that's kinda boring! Check out my very popular RSE resources at bishtraining.com
Justin Hancock has been a trained sex and relationships educator since 1999. In that time he's taught and given advice about sex and relationships with thousands of young people in person and millions online. Find out more about Justin here

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Sex and the law. Under age sex, consent, rape, sexual assault, outside sex, porn, abortions, confidentiality, marriage... Boring but very important. Little known fact: I have a law degree. Yes it's Bish LLB (Hons). And for the first time in my working life it is relevant.

# data[].attributes.body
FB group of over 2000 teachers for RSE

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
A group created for UK teachers to seek advice, share ideas and resources on teaching Relationships and Sex Education (RSE). Run by Alice Hoyle https://www.alicehoyle.co.uk/ and Justin Hancock...

# data[].attributes.body
These have been gathered from recent inspections.

1. How do you record incidents of peer-on-peer abuse? Can we see the records printed out?

2. (To support staff member) If you overheard male pupils speaking in a sexist/inappropriate/disrespectful way to female pupils, what would you do?

3. Can we see all the dates and incident logs of any instances of sexual harassment/homophobia/peer-on-peer abuse/ inappropriate touch? What were the outcomes? Do you ever involve external agencies? Which are they? Can we see the log and outcomes? Does this progress to become a case for the safeguarding team? DSL? What sanctions have you applied in the case of serious incidents, if any?

# data[].attributes.headline
What is social shaming, why is it a problem and how can it be tackled in RSE?

# data[].attributes.subject
What is social shaming, why is it a problem and how can it be tackled in RSE?

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
What is social shaming, why is it a problem and how can it be tackled in RSE?

# data[].attributes.headline
Bishtraining: Should we show diseased Genital pics in RSE?- no, here's why

# data[].attributes.subject
Bishtraining: Should we show diseased Genital pics in RSE?- no, here's why

# data[].attributes.body
https://tinyurl.com/4ab86vf6

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.provider_name
Bish Training - Sex & Relationships Education

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
RSE practitioners might be tempted to show graphic pictures of STIs. Here I'll argue why this is a bad and counterproductive teaching method in relationships and sex education.

They Don't Work

You might think that the widespread use of showing these kinds of images might be based on some kind of evidence of their effectiveness, but you'd be mistaken. Dr Alyssa Lederer, applied behavioural scientist and health education specialist, found the following:

"In 2016 I conducted an experiment with young people enrolled in a large public Midwestern university. Participants watched one of two randomly assigned web-based sexual health programs, one with graphic sexually transmitted infection images and the other without such images but otherwise identical. I then compared the two groups of participants to assess their knowledge, beliefs, and behavioral intentions related to sexually transmitted infections. Overall outcomes were the same, but when I asked participants to provide feedback, more than a quarter of those that saw the graphic images expressed disgust and dismay. These results suggest that presenting such images may prompt stigma - without having any health benefit." This point about stigma is very important, which I'll come on to next.

Meanwhile other studies studies looking at the effect that scare tactics, also known as 'fear appeals', have on people around STIs show a similar lack of evidence of effectiveness. Allison Earl and Dolores Albarracín's study looked into the use of fear appeals (explicitly talking about the dangers of HIV transmission during a consultation) as part of HIV testing. They found that fear appeals during these consultations: "increased perceptions of risk at the immediate follow-up but decreased knowledge and condom use." This study also found that this decreased condom use following a fear appeal actually strengthened over time (a spiraling effect). Importantly, when interventions instead offered HIV counselling and testing there was an increase of knowledge, and an increase in condom use and this effect strengthened over time.

There has been a long history of study of fear appeals or scare tactics and the evidence is contradictory. Some may work in some interventions where individuals are scared enough to want to change their behaviour and that change is feasible and accessible to them. However, using a condom is not always easy and it's certainly not as easy for some people to negotiate using condoms as others. When it comes to condoms, Earl and Albarracin's study (and also other studies) suggests that messaging which promotes the gains of condom use, rather than highlighting the losses of condom non-use, are more successful in both the short term and also in the long term.

So studies in the classroom and studies from clinics suggest that scare tactics don't work work and may even be counterproductive for safer sex practices. Why else might it be a bad idea?
Find out more about my one to one RSE Coaching service
They Create Stigma

As Dr Alysssa Lederer found that showing images of diseased genitals did not increase the knowledge of students taking part in that RSE programme, but that it did increase levels of stigma. Study after study shows that stigma has a huge role to play in delaying young people's attendance at a sexual health clinic, even when they think that they may have symptoms of an STI.

"To promote prompt treatment-seeking, interventions must also address both STI-specific and other forms of social stigma which may limit access to care." Malta, et al 2007

"Strenuous efforts should be made to overcome the stigma associated with STIs and, by default, GUM services, and to present sexual health services in a way that is seen as inclusive and relevant to a wide range of individuals." Anne Scoular, et al 2001

"High perceived seriousness about symptoms has both cognitive and emotional components that may function independently to either promote or delay STD-related care seeking." Cunningham, et all 2005

Sexual health education, which seeks to 'disgust and dismay' is going to create more stigma around STIs and thus around accessing treatment. (Although there have been significant increases in young people accessing sexual health services due to the expansion of young people's sexual health services in the noughties). Delaying treatment, or avoiding treatment, increases the risk of transmission and increases the risk of long-term health effects.
Book me to come and teach in your school, college or university
In addition showing these images risks perpetuating other harmful stigmas around sex, which invariably intersect with oppression. Together this sends a message that there are certain 'kinds of people' who are at risk of STIs. These messages are homo/biphobic, racist, classist, and definitely sexist. It also creates this problematic and sex negative 'other' who has, and might even enjoy, sex. RSE should be trying to address these kinds of messages, not perpetuate them.

So showing these images of disease sends out messages about sexuality and stigma which are very harmful and counterproductive but are also inaccurate.

They are Inaccurate

The majority of cases of STIs don't have any symptoms. Even where there are symptoms they might be very mild and so not recognisable, or they may be confused with other infections or conditions (such as a heavy cold).

The graphic images of STIs which are used in sex education show individuals with symptoms. So in order to be accurate people showing these images should also be showing pictures of people with STIs but no symptoms. We don't do that because 1) people with asymptomatic STIs are not deemed worthy of photographing by medical professionals and 2) a lot of people will find it inappropriate to be showing young people pictures of genitals without symptoms ie, just genitals.
Check out the Big Bish Download, all of my resources in a money saving bundle
Furthermore, the symptomatic pictures of genitals are atypical: that is to say, they show large clusters of warts, or voluminous discharge, or symptoms of tertiary syphilis. These are rare. So they don't even show the kinds of images of symptoms that people may want to look for when they are checking out their bits in the shower or bath - a small wart, or a blister, drops of blood, a small rash, or an unusual discharge.

Sidenote: I think that we should probably be doing more to teach young people about their genitals. In addition to teaching about diversity (and similarities) of genitals we should also be teaching more about vaginal discharge, papules, in-grown hairs - which are often mistaken for STIs.

So they are not typical images of STI symptoms and thus are not accurate images of STIs. They also have the effect of making STIs seem more serious than they are. The fact is that all STIs are treatable (although yes, gonorrhoea is getting more difficult to treat but is still pretty uncommon), and once treated it's not common for STIs to have a long term effect for young people. Even rates of HPV, which is the most common STI in the UK, are coming down dramatically thanks to the HPV vaccine for young people. Rates of genital warts (which are low risk STIs not associated with cervical cancer or any other long term effects, but still feature heavily in graphic images of STIs) have reduced by nearly 80% in young people. We've seen that scare tactics don't work, but we also saw that an overemphasis of how serious STIs are will also increase stigma.

So How Should We Teach About STIs?

Even though we should still teach about STIs, we probably need to tone down some of the messaging in order to a) remove the scare tactics and b) usualise STIs just like we might with any other illness. We should also shift the emphasis to talking about how to negotiate safer sex (and giving people the tools to do this) and how to access sexual health services.

Below are some images I made for @BishSexEd on Instagram and Twitter, feel free to download these STI slides and use them in your classes.

You could also try my STI quiz over at BISH which I describe as "a fiendishly difficult quiz but also pretty chilled out and quite real life."

You could also try playing my game Safer Sex Aces or using my Condom Teaching Pack

You could also try the Safer Sex lesson plan over at DO... RSE for Schools, which I wrote with Alice Hoyle.

There are some more really great ideas about how to teach about STIs in this lovely article by Chella Quint.

If you're a teacher in the UK, why not join our facebook group? which Alice and I moderate. It's a lovely community of teachers who would want to improve their practice.

© Justin Hancock, 2019

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Should We Show Pictures of STIs in RSE? - no, here's why

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
RSE practitioners might be tempted to show graphic pictures of STIs. Here I'll argue why this is a bad and counterproductive teaching method in relationships and sex education. You might think that the widespread use of showing these kinds of images might be based on some kind of evidence of their effectiveness, but you'd be mistaken.

# data[].attributes.headline
How can the 'consent castle' approach be used in RSE?

# data[].attributes.subject
How can the 'consent castle' approach be used in RSE?

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
How can the 'consent castle' approach be used in RSE?

# data[].attributes.body
Really useing talking and thinking points on many elements of sexual health including:

Relationships and sex education (RSE)

Reproductive rights and abortion

Sharing youth produced sexual imagery

Masturbation

Pornography

Trans and non-binary people and experience

Gender terminology

Virginity

Kink and BDSM

Life course approach to sexual and reproductive health and rights

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Brook is not asked by schools to teach about BDSM and Kink, but is sometimes required to respond to ad hoc questions about it amongst young people. Brook teaches...

That people respond in diverse ways to different kinds of touch, sensation, physical, visual and oral stimulation. There is no 'right' way to have sex or to be in a relationship - provided it is mutually agreed

What one person finds sexy another person might find a turn off - there are likely to be a range of factors in the development of our sexuality and sexual desire

That the most important thing in any relationship and sexual practice is that it is mutually agreed, and fully consenting

Nobody should feel pressured or coerced into any form of sexual behaviour that they are not comfortable with

Seeing a sexual behaviour represented in the media or in porn does not make it 'normal', mandatory or require that anybody/everybody emulates it

That there are different risks associated with different sexual practices; and physical safety and after care are vital elements of any sex, alongside pregnancy and STI prevention

That respecting people's feelings is an important form of care

Consent, trust, good communication, reflection, preparation and a shared vocabulary to explain your desires and openly discuss sex are essential foundations for a safe BDSM/Kink experience. Often these skills and confidence come with age, experience and in established relationships

That it is not safe to use objects during sex or foreplay which are not designed to be used for sex (not body safe) or intended to be sex toys.

That the use of sex toys should be agreed in advance and both parties need to understand how to use them safely.

Young people to seek help if they are concerned about their relationships, or their own sexual practices or desires but that they should not feel that an interest in kink or BDSM on its own is a cause for concern.

Young people to identify when their own sexual practices are starting to feel harmful or having a negative impact on their life including whether a sexual behaviour is becoming compulsive, addictive or is escalating in a way that feels unsafe

The law in relation to consent including in relation to causing physical harm to another person in the course of a consenting sexual activity

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Our beliefs - Brook's position statements - Brook

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Brook is not asked by schools to teach about BDSM and Kink, but is sometimes required to respond to ad hoc questions about it amongst young people. Brook teaches... That people respond in diverse ways to different kinds of touch, sensation, physical, visual and oral stimulation.