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Everyone are happy, contented, and just so complete. While here I am, just a fusion of uncertainty and void. No one had ever know that I have multiple personality, I wasn't diagnose but I can feel how diverse I am as a person, that I even have different set of attitudes once in a while.

I always feel uncomplete, maybe because my family wasn't either complete. I feel insecure, because the society sucks, and it made me feel that way. Not enough, that is what I usually see myself, because my other selves think I am. I really want to feel belong, but sometimes because I have mood swings and these freaking multiple personalities, I am the one making myself not belong. 🥺

I hope one day, I will feel better and fine.
Thank you for this opportunity to express myself. 🥰🥺

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The words you write or speak to others can have a huge impact and create a lasting memory, or in some cases, a deep scar on someone's soul. I felt like my heart had reached its limit. Often times, I felt like it was better to succumb to eternal slumber. I am hanging on a thin thread that a small mistake may cut the small hope that I am hanging on to. Their words are destructive, robbing me of the calmness that I want to maintain.

" Be mindful when it comes to your words. A string of some that don't mean much to you, may stick with someone else for a lifetime." -Rachel Wolchin

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Honestly, I don't know. All I know is that I am stuck right here. I thought it was easy and that everything is going to be easy. Then I was wrong! pressure pulling me down and that I don't have any choice and to climb again and again. I think I doubted myself for choosing this path but still, I never get tired of encouraging myself to rise and pull myself up to my goals. I know I can and I know I will. Sooner, the doubts inside me will heal.

The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall. -Nelson Mandela

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Dear you reading this post,

You can freely share your untold stories or thoughts that you wish to speak or voice out. The creator of this padlet would not reveal as well as not judge the person behind the post. You can also share anonymously if you prefer and please do comment positively. #MentalHealth #Positivity

Sincerely,
A Wallflower

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Sometimes whenever I get hurt, I would really lose my cool. Once I calm down, I would instantly crticize myself for acting overly. Thus, it dawned on me how, in most cases, do not regard myself. I would always remind myself that it's okay to act like that if I got really hurt but at the end of the day, I would justify what they have done to me in my head and feel ashamed for being hurt. And I thought that, when will I ever prioritize my feelings over the others'? It is hard. In my mind, it feels like I do not have the right to be hurt and express my feelings to people.

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I'm stuck at the void of time where I felt lost and empty at the same time. I was just walking in this pathway but why am I struggling to find the right direction? Is this life or is this my fate?

Maybe I'll find my way home...soon

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Time is irreversible nor permanent and it takes time to truly know one self.

These days, I have been struggling with overthinking and at the same with my anxiety. First and last thing of the day, I kept on thinking if I am still doing the right thing. The pandemic had changed me honestly and I am in a messy and complicated situation. I have my high hopes that everything I felt today will eventually disappear and real happiness will come at the right time.

Pahuway pero padayon!

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I smile, laugh, and even sing my way to the bathroom, and even when I'm cleaning the dishes. I hum with the chirping sounds of the birds, swaying my body as the gentle wind caresses my cheeks. But these past few days, everything is piling up on my shoulders. Burdens, anxieties, stress, insecurities, panic attacks, and emptiness. Everything feels heavy. I may not look like it, but deep within I'm struggling. All these emotions came to me like waves, drowning me in the sea of doubts and helplessness, and I just forgot how to swim, wondering if I could even survive this year. It was all bright and laughter, before all these emotions fill me up and for a moment, everything stills like I'm sitting in the eye of the storm. Then all at once, the clouds open up and it begins to pour. But everything will be alright.

It will be, right?

'til then,
raindrop

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Your words are as painful as sticks and stones

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Mask up my pain
Hold back my tears
I'm going insane
Nobody knows

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To Build A Home - Album Edit – The Cinematic Orchestra

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I haven't found anything to look forward to or feel enthusiastic about in my last few months as a sophomore, my second year in college. I'm exhausted not only from schoolwork, but also from worrying about what my future will be like. I'm at a loss as to how to organize everything in my life, and I'm already exhausted in my second year of college. I am still hopeful for the better, and I believe that feeling tired is normal. I hope that this does not cause me to give up on my dreams, and that I will be stronger when I rise after this.

I want anyone who's reading this and felt the same way as what I feel, to listen to the song I pasted here. Idk how it affects you but for me, it gives me comfort 💖

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Sophomore year is harder than the freshmen year. The struggles are doubled-- sleepless nights and tiring days.  Finding courage to keep going, and always ended up questioning myself if I'm still doing the right thing...

I am holding onto my last thread of hope, always reminding myself that better days will soon come, though it is vague for now...

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Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

One of my favorite songs will forever remind me that there's always a light after the tunnel and I am not losing hope that this wound will heal soon. Smile and cheer up!

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Searching for meaning
But are we all lost stars
Trying to light up the dark?