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Glow: The details and diolog were amazing
Grow: replace pink eye

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I liked how you put a lot of detail to in your journal.

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Glow I think I did well explaining my characters old life and comparing it to living in America.
Grow: Revise and edit your work before submitting the doc.

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I loved how every time you changed your setting you described your surrodings with tons of details

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I loved your details! It made me feel like I was in the story too,

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glow I'm happy with what i have
i could make it longer and more detailed

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Glow: I did well with the details.

Grow: I need to work on my punctuation.

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GLOW: Great details about your tenement, and your push factors about your life in Ireland!
GROW: add some dialogue?

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the story has good detail but I am not finished

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big words helped shape your story and bring out the details maybe some background info about prior life

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Glow: I think i did a great job with detail

Grow: It was too long

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I liked how you put dialogue from your character in the journals.

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Glow: I feel I was able to show emotion in my charecter

Grown: some important parts are a bit rushed

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you really had a lot of historical parts but I felt like you didn’t really slow down, and tell us more about your character

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I really liked the amount of interesting details in your journal.

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Glow: Nice detail.
Grow: Talk louder when reading. Also edit a few words, senetnces and other thingsthat might need it.

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Glow - very fundamental slot of info
Grow -talk more about the character.

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glow: you had so many intresting details and I loved how you took the time to give Marco such an intresting back story

Grow: It was just a little bit confusing when you flipped back and fourth between the past and present

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glow /i like the story  line so

grow /

far maybe there could be more back story

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I liked how you went in detail about the family in the story, I couldn't hear you well.

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Glow: I like how many historic facts you have.
Grow: Explain on the story of the Character.

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I love all the details and I love how you created a relationship on the boat with her and some friends

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I liked how you added dialogue to your story. I feel like it made it more real

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Glow: lot of details and show not tell
Grow: Make ajustments to grammer and edit plot holes/ confusion

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Glow: There were a lot of detail and it really hooked the reader in the beginning.
Grow: Maybe add more detail about what it was like to be on the boat and ellis island.

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GLOW: amazing details, small moments like the little girl and your bday on the ship over.
GROW: use paragraphs to organize your ideas. :) When someone speaks, separate it from the rest of the section.

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glow: a lot of detail

grow: i would like to know why the landlord kicked you out

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glow:  there was so mutch detail and you kind of acted out the characters by useing your voice.
grow: the only thing that i can put here is that it looks like one pharagraph.

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Glow: Yours showed the characters emotional reallly well, and you had a lot of greatd diaogolge, and your story was very detailed.
Grow: It might be easer on your part if you shoren it a bit, to be easeir to read, or print later.

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Glow: I liked the problem and it makes me want to read more about the story.
Grow: I don't know how old she is.

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it was long, it could have been more easy to read

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it was short, it was indepth

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Glow - I loved how you had a lot of information in your entry it was very well said.

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Glow: I liked the way you explained exactly what was going on and it was clear what time of day it was.

Grow: Start showing not telling.

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GLOW: beautiful description, I can really visualize you on the ship and at Ellis ISland
GROW: consider using dialogue!

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I like how you added details about how your eye felt.

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I loved how you explained how you didn't want people in your family to half to lie about being healthy but they have to. ik this isn't really a grow but I was just wondering How old is your character?

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Glow: I like how you described everything because I can easily picture how the tenement was like what she was feeling.
Grow: I don't know if your finished but I think you need more detail on the community.

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I really admired the way that you described things so that I could really visualize everything that was going on. One grow for you is that you can add some transition words so that we can follow the timeline.

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I like how there are details in the story that make it interesting and make me want to keep reading

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grow the boat ride part was to short
glow but i wrote a lot. and i like the characters and there dynamic.

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I loved the way that you showed not told, and you added a lot of dialogue. One thing that you could work on is slowing important moments down with more detail.

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grow: i think you can add more detail about the potatoes.

glow: i like how you added why the dad moved to America.

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glow: i added a lot of detail

grow: i made it to short

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glow /i like the emotion in it nice
grow maybe you could make it longer

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Glow: The boat trip was very detatailed with the conditions, where the baggage was and the weather.
Grow: I'm not sure if I missed this or not, but maybe add/add more on the arrival to Ellis Island

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It was interesting how your character became more america and lost their accent. Your writing was short and only a paragraph.

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Glow: It had a lot details and you described the neighborhood and living conditions fairly well
Grow: does she get caught in the shirtwaist factory fire because working there has a lot of dramatic potiental

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glow:  You had an amazing start your story it drew me in and I never lost intrest in what was happening

grow: show do not tell, instead of explicitly saying the reasong I left was... maybe give a flash back or find a way to imply it

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It was a good story the family was very nice

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Glow : Yours was very very detailed Grow: It would be better if you spoke just a little louder.

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glow: i like all of the detail of the legal inspections.
grow:  it was kind of short and all in one pharagraph

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I think your story was really good! I really liked how the family members discribed all the annoying things.

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I think it was really good. I loved the details and how you explained that you were far from you loved ones and could only talk with letters.

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I cant hear to well but I like how it focuses on her taking care of her siblings. Also I like how many details there were