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Helping a friend or anyone who is getting bullied online.

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Helping a friend or anyone who is getting bullied online.

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In short:

Bullying that happens online can harm the mental and physical health of the person targeted.

It can happen in any kind of online communication, including posts, comments, texts, messages, chats, livestreams, memes, images, videos or emails.

Often bullying content can be removed by the site, game or app used to send it, if you report it to them. But if they don't help, eSafety may be able to investigate and ask them to delete it.

What is bullying online?

Bullying online, or 'cyberbullying', is similar to offline bullying. Both happen when someone causes mental harm to another person who feels unable to stop it happening, which can also lead to physical suffering.

Often cyberbullying is linked to bullying that's happening offline - for example, a fight at school or in a friend group can spill over onto social media or messaging apps.

Cyberbullying can be very harmful for a number of reasons:

It can happen at any time and follow the targeted person to any place where they have a digital device.

If the bullying content has been shared on a public platform such as social media, it can be seen and spread by lots of people very quickly.

If the content is not removed, it can last online for years, affecting the reputation or 'digital footprint' of the person who is bullied.

Some examples of cyberbullying include:

sending hurtful or abusive messages

spreading nasty rumours or lies about someone

creating fake accounts in someone's name to embarrass them or to cause drama by sending nasty messages to their friends

sharing photos or videos of someone to make fun of them or humiliate them

'trolling' people (posting or commenting online to provoke an argument or emotional reaction)

threatening to hurt someone, or encouraging others to hurt them

making new accounts to try to keep contacting someone who has already blocked you

mocking or teasing someone because of personal attributes, like their race, religion, gender, sexual orientation or how they look - this is sometimes known as 'online hate'

purposely making someone feel left out or ignored.

Why does bullying online happen?

Let's face it: some people just like to cause drama - they think it makes them powerful or popular. But there are other reasons why they may bully someone online. For example:

they are hitting back at a person who was mean to them first

they are angry or upset, so they want others to feel bad too

they are trying to be funny, but the joke hurts another person's feelings

they don't think about the impact before sharing something that is likely to hurt or embarrass someone else.

If you upset someone online, it's best to apologise and delete the content to stop the situation getting worse. Learn more about what to do if you've been accused of cyberbullying.

What should I do if I'm being bullied online?

No one should have to deal with cyberbullying, but knowing the most effective ways to stop it will help.

Don't hit back

Resist the urge to hit back with your own mean or hurtful comments - it usually just makes the situation worse and could get you into trouble. Sometimes it's a good idea to step away from the screen for a couple of minutes to calm down and work out what to do next. You can also use your in-app functions to ignore, hide or mute the other person's posts or comments so you don't keep seeing them. Remember that bullying usually makes the person doing it look bad, not you. Just because they say something mean about you doesn't mean it's true, so try not to let it get you down.

Tell someone you trust

You don't have to cope with bullying on your own. You may feel like you should be able to handle it yourself but if you're feeling a little out of your depth, talking it through with someone else may help. An adult you trust, like a family member or teacher, can give you a fresh point of view, as well as helping you decide what to do and how to deal with any impacts. Try to stay connected with your support person while you handle the situation - you could show them this webpage so they understand more about it and can help you.

Think about asking them to stop

Sometimes people do things online without thinking about how others could be affected. This isn't cool. You can try asking the person who is bullying you to stop and to delete what they sent, posted or shared - if you feel safe doing that. It might not always work, but letting them know they have upset or embarrassed you may make them rethink their actions. You could also send them a link to eSafety's advice on what to do if you've cyberbullied someone, so they know how to help fix what they have done.

If the person keeps bullying you - even after you've asked them to leave you alone - stop communicating with them and follow the next steps.

1. Collect evidence

Take screenshots or recordings of bullying content so you have proof. Also note the usernames and display names of people involved and keep URLs (web addresses), as well as message links (for Discord). You should also write down how long the bullying has been going on and whether you know the person responsible. Find out more about collecting evidence.

2. Report harmful content

Report the content to the social media site, game or app used to bully you. The eSafety Guide has reporting links for the ones that most people use. If they don't help and you're under 18, you can report serious cyberbullying to eSafety. We can work with you to try to have the content removed and point you in the right direction to get further support. If you're 18 or older, you may be able to make an adult cyber abuse report.

3. Prevent further contact

Use your in-app functions to ignore, hide or mute the other person's posts or comments so you don't keep seeing them. The eSafety Guide tells you how. After reporting them, you can also block them through your account, or on your device, to take away their power to upset you further.

4. Get more help

Cyberbullying can make you feel bad. Lots of people say the harmful content makes them angry, sad, embarrassed, hurt, worried, scared or stressed. The harm may be felt for a short time or last a long time. How to look after yourself has tips on what you can do to feel better, like using the wellbeing resources on social networks and reminding yourself about positive things.

If you feel you do not have anyone close you can talk to about how the cyberbullying is making you feel, you could contact Kids Helpline (for young people up to age 25) or another confidential counselling or support service. They have people who are ready to listen and help.

You can find more eSafety advice about how to report cyberbullying of someone under 18, what eSafety does next and answers to other common questions. If you are 18 or older, you may find our information about adult cyber abuse helpful.

If someone is threatening to share nudes or other intimate images of you, or has already done it, that's 'image-based abuse' (sometimes called 'revenge porn'). You can find out how to deal with it here:

How can I help someone who is being bullied online?

Whether you're directly involved or not, it's always best to keep calm if you can, so you can think clearly.

You may choose to be an 'upstander' - someone who helps others instead of being a 'bystander' who just watches as bad things happen. These are some ways to be an upstander online.

Reach out to the person being bullied

Send a message to the person being bullied. Ask if they're OK and offer your support. Whether they're your friend, or someone you only kind of know, a few words of support can go a long way. Avoid phrases that might make them feel worse, like 'You must be so embarrassed' or 'I would want to die if I were you'.

Let the person being targeted know they can report online bullying to the social media service, game or app where it happened. You could show them this webpage, so they know more about their options.

Say something to the person who's bullying others

If you feel like someone is taking things too far online, consider reaching out to them privately to let them know that their behaviour may be causing harm. Maybe they're just unaware of how they are making the other person feel.

But when someone is clearly bullying another person, consider standing up to them if you feel confident and safe. Make it clear that what they're doing is not cool. It could be as simple as posting a comment that says 'This is not OK'.

Learn more about how to help

How to be an upstander has more tips for helping to create a positive culture online.

Real stories

Get support from confidential counselling and support services

Kids Helpline

5 to 25 year olds. All issues. Confidential phone counselling available all day, every day. Online chat available 24/7, 365 days a year.

Headspace

12 to 25 year olds. All issues. Phone counselling and online chat available 9am to 1am AEST, every day.

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Bullying online, or 'cyberbullying', is when someone uses the internet to be mean to another person so they feel bad or upset. No one deserves to be bullied online.

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How can I be an upstander?

By doing something to help a person being bullied or abused online, you can be part of creating a positive cultural change.

A lot of people want to help if they see others being harmed online, but they don't know how to, or they worry they'll be attacked for speaking up. There are some ways to support the targeted person and help them feel less isolated while still keeping yourself safe.

Depending on your style, what you feel confident doing and how someone is being bullied or abused, you may choose a different way to help each time, and that's OK. All the options can have a huge positive impact. Here are some you can try on their own or combined with each other.

Reach out to the person being bullied or abused

Send a message to the person being bullied or abused. Ask if they're OK and offer your support. Whether they're your friend, or someone you only kind of know, a few words of support can go a long way.

Remember to use supportive language. It's important to avoid phrases that might make them feel worse, like 'You must be so embarrassed' or 'I would want to die if I were you'. You could say 'Hey are you OK? I saw what was posted and it's not cool'.

Let them know there are ways to get help, including reporting harmful content. You could send them these links and help them work out what to do:

You could also suggest they talk to a confidential counselling and support service.

If you don't know the person who was targeted very well, you may be able to ask someone who's closer to them to check they're coping OK.

Call out the bad stuff online

If you feel confident and safe, speak up about the bullying or abuse you see online. It could be as simple as posting a comment, GIF or meme that says 'This is not OK'.

Or you could show your support by leaving a positive comment about the targeted person, such as saying what you like about them. This can take some of the impact away from the bad stuff and help the person feel better.

Even if you're not the one who was targeted by bullying or abuse, you can report it to the site, game or app where it happened. This helps to keep everyone safe online. Collect evidence as proof and check The eSafety Guide for links.

Say something to the person being mean

If you feel like someone is taking things too far online, think about reaching out to them privately to let them know what they're doing could be causing harm. Maybe they're unaware of how they're making the other person feel. Or maybe they know it's mean, and hearing that you think it's not cool will help them change their behaviour.

Call in other support

It's important to call in other support if the drama is getting serious or the person who was bullied or abused seems really affected by what was posted online about them - maybe they're not turning up to school or they seem really withdrawn or less talkative.

Talk to a trusted adult like a parent, teacher or older sibling so they can help you work out what to do. You could show this page to them, to help explain what's happening. Or you could get advice about what to do from a free, confidential counselling and support service like Kids Helpline (for young people up to 25).

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How to be an upstander | eSafety Commissioner

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An upstander is someone who chooses to support a person who is being abused or harmed. There are ways you can be an upstander online while keeping yourself safe.

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What is Cyber Bullying? A Guide For Families

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Understanding cyberbullying is essential for modern parents. Find out its implications, signs, and actionable tips to ensure your child’s digital well-being.