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Restorative Justice in Schools: SEL in Action (Example)

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Restorative Justice in Schools: SEL in Action (Example)

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Description: Video and text highlight restorative talking circles discussed on page 120 "Talking Circle Questions and Prompts to Dialogue
Name: Bridget Smith

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I was bullied in high school. The bullying took the form of humiliation, physical assault, and mental torment. At the time, it was simply thought of as "kids being kids." Not a single administrator or teacher did anything to check in, help me, or stop the bullying. Many of my teachers laughed it off when they witnessed it.

This had an impact on my self esteem and my beliefs about people's intent - at work and in other aspects of my life. At the same time, I have always had the ability to see the many sides of conflict. Since elementary school, I have been the go-to mediator with peers, co-workers, and beyond. I have been building my empathy muscle my whole life.

My professional path brought me to community mediation at a nonprofit and it was in this role that I first learned about restorative justice. Since then, I've dedicated my work to building restorative justice programs at the Alameda County Juvenile Justice Center and in school districts such as Berkeley Unified and Oakland Unified School Districts.

What is Restorative Justice?

Restorative justice views "harm" as a fracturing of relationships, rather than something that demands punishment. A restorative justice process is a way to uncover true needs and heal relationships via meaningful accountability.

How might restorative justice apply to a conflict? Restorative justice allows the impacted parties to talk about what happened, how they are feeling about it now, the impact it had on everyone, and ultimately what can be done to make it as right as possible. Restorative approach can help school communities avoid the need for exclusionary discipline and reduce repeated offenses. People who have been harmed often have questions that only the person that harmed them can answer. Often time these questions are simple like "why me?" or "what led you to do this to me?" The process allows for these and other questions to be answered and to begin the healing process.

Restorative justice originates from an indigenous paradigm - it is community based, relational, and inclusive. The process creates equity by giving everyone a space to talk and be heard and by addressing the root cause of harm. We often say harmed people harm people, so it is important to uncover and address the original harm too. The restorative talking circle process is often implemented to start this conversation.

Restorative Talking Circles and SEL

One restorative practice that is supporting SEL in classrooms is the use of restorative talking circles. Circles are an effective way of building a community where people feel connected and develop communal ownership of the classroom. This kind of connectedness creates an environment where authentic engagement and deep learning can happen. Students may bring their cultural values into the space, creating a shared ownership of the classroom.

Circles typically start with an opening practice, for example a few minutes of mindfulness, to create an intentional space. The opening is followed by a "check-in" with each of the members of the circle. When first establishing the circle, the group may co-create shared guidelines and discuss personal and shared values. This lays the foundation for a rich and meaningful dialogue followed by a check out and closing.

If the circle is a response to harm or conflict, we may discuss what happened and the impact. We eventually discuss how to make things as right as possible and come up with a plan to repair the relationships and re-weave the fabric of the community. The ability to make something right - or as right as possible - is a gift that all people impacted by harm deserve.

Simply by sitting in a restorative circle in the classroom, students learn valuable social and emotional skills such as patience, empathy, active listening, and impulse control. These skills fall into the five SEL competencies that the Collaborative for Academic and Social Emotional Learning (CASEL) supports schools in teaching and practicing: self awareness, self management, social awareness, responsible decision making, and relationship skills.

Not only does a restorative circle allow people to practice these skills, it can also be used to explicitly teach them. For example, one could do a circle on what it means to be an ally, what respect looks, sounds and feels like in our classroom, or to make a consensual decision about something that affects the community?

Restorative justice is a values based practice. In a circle, shared guidelines and values are always created as a group before the main discussion. We generally use the same core guidelines across the school district and then invite additional ideas for the discussion. We adapted a version of guidelines set forth by Kay Pranis and Carolyn Boyes-Watson in their book "Circle Forward, Building a Restorative School Community", Living Justice Press 2014. They are:

Respect the talking piece - A meaningful object is passed around the circle. The person holding it is the only one that speaks. Everyone else actively listens.

Speak and listen from the heart - Speak your truth and listen with an open mind.

Speak and listen with respect - Pay attention to your triggers and how you express yourself.

Remain in circle - Be present.

Honor privacy - Keep the conversation private. Participants may discuss the level of confidentiality they feel they need.

It is important to build a foundation in shared values so that all participants, especially students, can bring what is important to them (family, culture) into the space. This allows for a classroom to be a shared space rather than the teacher's room. Teachers do not need to be experts in their students lives, and they cannot control what a young person may experience outside of the classroom, at the same time they can provide opportunities to create a learning environment that resonates with a student based on what the student has indicated in circle is important to them.

Student Leadership: The Circle Keepers

A major tenet of restorative justice is working with people rather than doing to them. To support this, every year in Oakland hundreds of youth are trained as circle keepers to support circles in the school community. This supports students as leaders and encourages them to engage in their own education. In their training, youth are not being manipulated to do things adults should do; rather students are empowered to participate in and lead restorative justice because it resonates with them. We must ask ourselves who are we doing this for, students or adults? Do adults want students to learn self management so they can be quiet, orderly and compliant, or do we want them to practice that competency so they may create and maintain positive relationships during and after their education?

By sharing the circle keeper role, adults working in restorative schools are practicing and learning SEL skills alongside students. As teachers learn alongside students, they become more aware of their own biases and triggers. Often adults become more aware of how their behavior can impact children in a positive way - especially youth of color, and students who express their gender in non-heteronormative ways, who feel adult bias the most.

How to Get Started

There is no plug and play model for implementing restorative justice practices at a school. Restorative justice implementation is profoundly related to the eco-system of each school or district. Schools must first assess the environment for readiness. Administrators, teachers, students and parents can identify what factors conducive to restorative justice are already in place and what they can do better. All staff should be trained and receive coaching and feedback throughout the year.

The OUSD Restorative Justice Implementation Guide is a navigational tool we developed in Oakland in partnership with Restorative Justice for Oakland Youth (RJOY) to help members of the school community identify indicators such as: What's working in our school? What could we do better? What positive things are happening that RJ can support? What do we need to rethink?

It is difficult to implement restorative justice on a piecemeal basis. Restorative justice is a school wide phenomenon and more effective to implement if most, if not all, of the teachers are trained in circles and receive coaching support as they learn the art of circle-keeping. Student leadership can expand to include restorative practices for community building and responding to harm and conflict.

Restorative Justice and Creating Safe Spaces

Today's students want to engage with school curriculum, but in a culturally relevant way. They want to soak up what the teachers are trying to give them, but many of them need a space that creates safety first. Students may need to break free from the cycle of harm and aggression that experiencing trauma can set in motion. According to a 2017 report from the National Survey on Children's Health, 46% of all children in the US have experienced at least one adverse childhood experience (ACE). Bringing restorative justice practices into schools and districts can help to provide an environment where they can heal and break the cycle.

Each day when I go to work at Oakland Unified School District I ask myself how I will transform this system rather than become it. It takes a relentless intentionality and a deep commitment to self reflection. Restorative justice practices help me and others in our school community practice and build our social and emotional skill set so that we can be in right relationship with each other and create a place and space where robust and engaging learning can happen. We need to radically shift the way we have been educating our students for the last 150 years to something that works for all of our young people now.
David Yusem coordinates the Restorative Justice program at Oakland Unified School District (OUSD). This year, the district was able to maintain full time Restorative Justice staff at over 26 school sites to support the implementation of Restorative Justice programming district-wide. The RJ program at OUSD is considered a National model for the implementation of restorative practices in schools. Prior to working at OUSD, David managed the community mediation program at SEEDS Community Resolution Center, and founded their restorative justice program. David has also initiated Restorative Justice pilot programs at the Alameda County Juvenile Justice Center and Berkeley Unified School District.

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Restorative Justice in Schools: SEL in Action

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https://youtu.be/oc23H6RxWRo I was bullied in high school. The bullying took the form of humiliation, physical assault, and mental torment. At the time, it was simply thought of as "kids being kids." Not a single administrator or teacher did anything to check in, help me, or stop the bullying.

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Youtube video that explains mindfulness to kids Debra Zanfes

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How to Be More Empathetic-A Year of Living Better Guide

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How to Be More Empathetic-A Year of Living Better Guide

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Ways to become more empathetic. Debra Zanfes

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How to make affective statements
Feelings, needs, requests
Debra Zanfes

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Knowing when and how to keep questions open ended. Building relationships. Using the right tone. Asking tough questions. Debra Zanfes

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Art of Requests- How to make requests :dialogue and action and a How to make requests checklist Debra Zanfes

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https://www.edutopia.org/blog/integrating-mindfulness-in-classroom-curriculum-giselle-shardlow

Belly breathing:  Place right hand on belly and left hand on chest.  Feel the rise and fall as you breathe.  Inhale to a count of three.  Exhale to a count of three.  A hoberman sphere can be used as a visual example.

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Observe & Discuss Body Language-Janice Dix

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Observe & Discuss Body Language-Janice Dix

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https://www.graduateprogram.org/2021/01/how-to-teach-empathy-in-the-classroom/

Observe & Discuss Body Language:  “Sam, you are balling your fist and breathing loud.  I can tell that you are angry.  What happened?

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http://www.restorativeresources.org/uploads/5/6/1/4/56143033/affective_sentence_stems.png

Make an Affective Statement Sentence Stem to help students with usingstating their feelings, because, and ask why.

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https://www.questionpro.com/article/likert-scale-survey-questions.html

This is an example of a likert scale.  Likert scales can be used when asking questions  to see how a person views the experience.

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https://www.kickboardforschools.com/pbis-positive-behavior-interventions-supports/9-examples-of-positive-behavior-support-interventions/

Silent signals is the classroom are a way to reinforce behaviors without calling a student out.

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https://trailstowellness.org/materials/cbt-and-mindfulness-groups/resources/mindfulness
I have this handout taped to the table in the calming corner of my classroom. It is a visual example that students can follow as they focus on their breathing as a way to calm and get back to the green/calming zone. You place your finger in the middle of the "8" as you follow the curves you breathe in, and breathe out, as finish tracing the "8".

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https://youtu.be/27sho6s2eK8
This is a video introduction that helps students to understand and practice empathy.

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What is EMPATHY? Explaining Empathy to Kids - Emotions

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https://www.hostingtransformation.eu/methode/gratitude-circle/
Step-by-step guide to create your own gratitude circle. A gratitude circle allows participants to form a circle and share gratitudes with the person in the middle of the circle.

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TARGET GROUP

More infos to group size

scalable for any group size

Is participant experience relevant?

It's okay if participants haven't seen the inside of a classroom in years.

Physical trust needed

Mental trust needed

REQUIREMENTS

Duration

10 minutes - 60 minutes

Experience level of the facilitator

self explanatory, no experience needed

Location requirements

Participants should be seated comfortably, in a circle or around a table.

CHARACTER OF THE METHOD

Level of activation
calming
Woo-Woo Level - How touchy-feely is this method?

From 1.Rationalist-Materialist "No feelings here, folks." to 5.Esoteric-Shamanic Bleeding Heart:

Innovation Phases:

*

Method Category:

* Appreciative / Community building
* Ceremony / Ritual
* Closer

SHORT DESCRIPTION

Participants share specific appreciations and gratitude for other participants in the group. This practice can seriously transform the energy of a group. It is an excellent closing ceremony or to celebrate a person, program, project, or milestone.

ALTERNATIVE NAME OF THE METHOD

Gratitude Fishbowl

BACKGROUND

STEP-BY-STEP GUIDE

PRE-EXERCISES

Sometimes it is nice to mention that you will be doing this the day before so participants can think a little about what they would like to say.

PREPARATION (excluding materials)

Introduction
At someone's last night at the Art Monastery, we use the Gratitude Fishbowl. The person who is leaving "sits in the fishbowl." This means they are the recipient of gratitude and appreciation from the other members of the group. The person in the fishbowl is not allowed to respond to these gratitudes. This can be difficult, but they must sit there and take it!

Adaption: Gratitude Circle is a more open form where anyone in the circle can appreciate anyone else in the group.

Gratitude can be a powerful transformative tool. Often we don't realize that we forget to share our gratitude with people. This method offers an opportunity to do that.

Guidelines for the most powerful gratitude
-Make it specific and concrete. More effective than "You're always so generous!"" is "Sylvia, I really appreciate that you so easily invited me to stay with you in your home and that you also offered me a ride to and fro the conference."
-Say how this person's action affected you. If you say "You're the best!"(which the recipient can internally deny, "No, I'm not. She's just being nice." More powerful would be to say "When you invited me to stay in your home I felt included because you are invited me into your personal space. I know that takes extra time and effort on your part, but it also offers me the opportunity to experience a different side of Austria, so it really enriches my travel experience. You inviting me to stay with you touched me and as a result I immediately felt more at ease from the beginning of the program. As a result, I participated more in discussions and generally felt more confident. Thank you so much for that. I'm inspired to be more welcoming of foreigners when I meet them now."
-Don't make a Future Gratitude. It doesn't feel good to hear "I'm really grateful for all the work you are going to do for me."
-Don't make a gratiturd. A gratiturd is a jab veiled as an appreciation, usually thanking someone for NOT doing something. For example, "Thank you for not dominating yesterday's discussion."

-Make sure it is clear that sharing gratitude is not mandatory. Forced gratitude can be counterproductive.
-For this reason, it's important to go popcorn style and that people can go more than once.
-For the adaption of Gratitude Circle, where anyone can receive appreciations, the facilitator should keep tabs on who hasn't received any gratitude and offer them some. This often jogs others' memories and they will follow up with more.
This exercise can work nicely sitting in a circle but also over a meal or drinks. Sometimes it can get going and last for more than an hour. Follow the energy of the group, as time allows. It is particularly true for Gratitude Fishbowl to set a time limit (something like 5 or 10 or 15 minutes depending on the size of the group). In addition to that, if you notice that not everyone has offered gratitude and there is a longer pause between people speaking, then leap in to close the exercise. (It doesn't feel good for the fish to sit in the bowl with everyone looking at her or him and no one is talking.) Close by making a toast or cheering and clapping.

If you do this exercise regularly, participants begin to prepare for it by noting things they are grateful for or want to celebrate. This can have a powerful transformative rippling effect on the whole group.

FURTHER INFORMATION

EXAMPLES

Closing ceremony for a program (Gratitude Circle) - It can also work in the early phases of a program depending on how much contact the participants had before they arrived.
Birthday/Departure/Retirement (Gratitude Fishbowl) or Celebration or Community Building
Team Building - in preparation for an event and in post-reflection on an event
Post-Conflict Resolution - After a difficult period has been resolved, Gratitude Circle can be a way of putting a balm on the wounds. You may want to remind people to be authentic in what they say, or to offer a different frame like sharing highlights from the program and appreciating moments they will take with them when they go.

One time the core team was preparing to host a singing workshop. We had all gotten really stressed out and the morning they were to arrive it felt like we were already really annoyed with them. We did a quick Gratitude Circle, standing around in the office. The ED revealed how much money the group was bringing in, the receptionist commented on how careful the teacher was in her communications, the driver noted how he got to learn new areas in preparation for the group. After 20 minutes, the team of 7 couldn't wait for the group to arrive. The workshop was a big success and we'll never know how impactful that preparatory Gratitude Circle was.

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Gratitude Circle - Hosting Transformation

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More infos to group size scalable for any group size Is participant experience relevant? It's okay if participants haven't seen the inside of a classroom in years. Physical trust needed Mental trust needed Duration 10 minutes - 60 minutes Experience level of the facilitator self explanatory, no experience needed Location requirements Participants should be seated comfortably, in a circle or around a table.

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Video: Introduction to the power of conversations.
Article: Focuses on how to have restorative chats that include:
-What happened, feelings, and feeling of other people involved, and how to repair harm.

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The new question-of-the-week is:
What are practical ways to implement restorative practices?
There is more and more interest in moving away from "traditional" school discipline and toward restorative practices. This series will explore what that kind of shift can look like-in practical terms-inside our schools and classrooms.

Today, Dr. Sheila Wilson, Maurice McDavid, Timothy Hilton, Ashley McCall, Bryan Harris, and Kara Pranikoff contribute their commentaries. You can listen to a ten-minute conversation I had with Sheila, Maurice, and Timothy on my BAM! Radio Show. You can also find a list of, and links to, previous shows here.
"When You Know Better, You Do Better!" Dr. Sheila Wilson is a native New Orleanian. She currently works as a 5th grade teacher in Virginia. In addition to instructional leadership, she serves to improve the capacity of students, teachers, and families through her roles as grade chair, lead mentor teacher, family-engagement liaison, and SCA adviser. Dr. Wilson is also an adjunct professor, conference presenter, and self-proclaimed lifelong learner. She is passionate about amplifying instruction, school leadership, and equity:
We are all familiar with the discipline practices of yesteryear, which would likely cause any conscientious educator today to cringe. Corporal punishment/traditional discipline practices were widely accepted and viewed as a means of correcting unwanted negative behaviors. I can vividly remember being a high school sophomore assigned to write 500 lines for being caught passing a note in the classroom. And who can forget the ultimate ... getting paddled in the principal's office! Even though it didn't personally happen to me (really), just the idea evoked fear in students of all ages and deterred most from mischievous acts. So, why was corporal punishment acceptable then? Why is corporal punishment no longer an accepted discipline practice in most places? Is punishment designed for those who obey the rules or for others? These questions make me call to mind the adage, "When you know better, you do better!"

Countless studies have shown that traditional discipline practices are no longer effective in today's schools. In fact, traditional practices were so commonplace in part because the ability to apply an immediate consequence was less time consuming for the one doling out the punishment. However, we now embrace restorative practices because they draw their strength in their ability to empower students to learn from unacceptable choices, to understand their impact, and to grow personally in their ability to make more sound decisions and resolve problems. Restorative practices represent a positive step forward in helping all students learn to resolve disagreements, take ownership of their behavior, and engage in acts of empathy and forgiveness.

There are many ways to implement restorative practices in the classroom. First, teachers can incorporate daily morning meetings to build relationships with students, get a sense of their social/emotional mindset, and set the tone and focus for the instructional day. Teachers can also utilize goal setting with their students as a restorative practice. With goal setting, students take ownership of areas they'd like to improve (academically or socially), and they set realistic and actionable steps to work toward their goal. By providing individual goal conferences, teachers can check in to see if students are on track to meet their goals, and students learn to self-check and refocus as needed. Another useful strategy is when an unacceptable behavior has happened that the teacher allows the offended student to share how the offense made him/her feel. In this way, the offender is able to understand how his/her behavior impacts others and therefore understand the perspective of the other person. Finally, there is great restorative power in having the student who has made an unacceptable choice reflect on his/her behavior in writing by addressing very specific questions like: What choice did I make? How did my choice impact others? Is there a better way that I could have addressed this situation? If I had the opportunity for a redo, would I make the same choice? Why or why not?

There are a number of benefits or restorative practices:

Builds relationships

Strives to be respectful to all

Provides the opportunity for equitable dialogue and decisionmaking

Involves relevant stakeholders

Addresses harms, needs, obligations

Encourages all to take responsibility

Educators have come to realize that you can't punish a child into doing anything. Instead of simply instituting harsh punishment, we need to teach kids the kind of skills, supported by research, to help them improve their behavior. This is why districts are embracing the implementation of restorative structures in schools across the nation. In building socially responsible students, we must arm them with the ability to think critically, problem-solve, and be able to work collaboratively with others. It will be through their mastery of academic knowledge AND their capacity to engage successfully with others that will ultimately guarantee their future success. Therefore, as educators, we must invest our efforts wisely.

Four Restorative Practices
Maurice McDavid earned his bachelor's degree in elementary education with a minor in history and Spanish. He has taught middle school history, English, and Spanish, as well as high school geography. He was dean of students for three years and is now in his first year as assistant principal at a bilingual elementary school.:

There are four restorative practices that I have worked to implement in our school building that all work on the same model of restorative justice: community-building circles, norm setting, community circles for content, and restorative chats.

Community-building circles: This practice is great for the beginning of the year, as well as use throughout the year to build a community of learners. This allows the students to get to know one another, as well as the teacher. This practice builds empathy amongst the students and will reduce the negative attacking behaviors that can exist in classrooms.

Norm setting: This practice is done using the model of a community-building circle but emphasizes the building of classroom norms together. Oftentimes, rules are handed down by authority and are necessary. Through the norm-setting process, students discuss the values (love, kindness, honesty, etc.) that are important to them in a relationship. From there, students take the values and turn them into action statements describing how they could live out those values in the classroom. A list of action statements or norms are created and can then be edited together as a class. What is awesome about this process is that the norms created are not adult-driven but instead are created as a community and thus has more community buy-in.

Community circles for content: This again uses the community-circle model for the base of practice. The difference is that rather than simply looking to build community, you can use the circle to present content in a class. It is a great discussion model. I have used it to introduce units and gather feedback about students' background information. The students are able to share openly and yet in an organized fashion, using the talking piece to moderate.

Restorative chats: Restorative chats are used when students do not meet the norms that were established in the classroom. It can be one on one or can be done with the whole class. It is centered around the following four questions:

What happened? - This differs from what did you do and allows students to tell the whole story and feel heard.

What were you thinking at the time? - This asks students to go back through the mental process they used when making the decision to act outside of the norms. This is a meta-cognitive practice. It allows for reflection on what thoughts and/or emotions may have led to the behavior.

Who or what was harmed? - This question asks the student to be accountable for the idea that their behavior caused harm to someone or something. Students are quick to discover that they have harmed themselves and, oftentimes, see how their behavior has harmed a teacher or classmate. This builds empathy.

How do you repair the harm? - This question asks the student to think about how they can make the situation right rather than simply serving a consequence that is not directly connected to the action. Students may offer to apologize or clean up a mess created. Students get to be a part of deciding what happens rather than having a decision made for them.

Starting "Small" Timothy Hilton is a climate and culture specialist with the Fresno Unified school district, in California, where he coaches teachers on classroom management and class climate. Timothy has over 10 years classroom-teaching experience at every level of social studies, ranging from Advanced Placement to English-language development. Timothy is currently a doctoral candidate at Claremont Graduate University in the field of educational policy, evaluation, and reform:
The Restorative practices world is a world that many educators fear simply because they do not know a lot about it. Educators are rarely trained to an adequate level in how to make Restorative Practices (RP) work in their daily lives. Teachers are usually shown the heavy-duty re-entry circles or conflict mediation to demonstrate the power of RP, but this often leaves teachers intimidated, overwhelmed, and asking how this is going to work for them.

The best, and most practical way, to implement restorative practices in the classroom is to start small with some basic restorative skills that can be practiced in your classroom, and even in your life outside of school. These skills are listening, affective communication, and curiosity questions. Once these skills have been practiced, lived, and embraced, then teacher can begin working into the heavier-duty RP practices.

Listening: While the concept of listening seems self-explanatory, we as teachers do not always do it. We are often trying to do a million things at once and, in turn, never really listen to our students. We hear them, but do we listen? In a restorative classroom, there are a couple ways we can demonstrate that we are listening. First is by mirroring their emotions and feelings about a topic. If they are serious when they are telling you something, then be serious as you listen. Second is by demonstrating active listening and paraphrasing. Saying things like, "What I am hearing you say is ..." Third is by being present and validating their feelings. If they are telling you something, make sure you are in the conversation and not planning your grocery list. A big part of being present is validating their feelings. You can do this by making statements such as, " I understand why you are upset." Or, "I cannot even imagine what you must be feeling, but that you so much for sharing with me."

Affective Communication: Also known as I-messages, these are powerful restorative tools that can be easily used in every classroom. These statements are done to connect the actions of your students to the impact they have on you. Affective statements require teachers to be willing to be honest and share their feelings. Affective statements follow simple formulas that can be used in every affective statement you make, "I feel/felt _____ when you _____." Another example is, "I would like/what I need is _____." The statement frames can be combined or used independently and might look like this, "I felt disappointed when I caught you cheating on the test. " Or,

"I felt sad yesterday when I found out you lied to me because I have always trusted you. I need you to trust me enough to be honest with me. " These questions tie the actions of an individual to the effect they had, something students often forget about.

Curiosity Questions: These are genuine questions you would ask someone to learn more about their situation. Imagine a student just does not seem to be having a good day. You can pull them aside and ask some curiosity questions to find out more. Simple questions like, "How are you doing today?" Or, "You seem kind of off today, is everything OK?" These questions help dive into an issue, but curiosity questions can also help resolve a conflict, "How did it make you feel when Tommy hit you?" or "What do you need Tommy to say to you to feel better?" These are just some very surface-level examples, but many more can be found online and in print resources.

Online Resources for Support Ashley McCall is a 3rd grade English/language arts educator at Chavez Multicultural Academic Center in Back of the Yards (Chicago) where she serves as a teacher representative on the local school council. She is a Teach Plus Teaching Policy Fellowship alumna and a member of the Teach Plus Board:
Many districts that are new to restorative practices are under the impression that it is a program to implement. It is not. Restorative practices are about shifting the mindsets and developing the capacity of stakeholders (students, families, teachers, administrators, receptionists, cafeteria staff, security staff, etc.) so they are invested in the culture and climate of the building and accept responsibility for maintaining a safe, enjoyable, and productive environment for all involved. When stakeholders are invested and properly trained, we are able to effectively sustain healthy school climates and respond effectively to breaches in our social contract.

If you are looking to shift toward more restorative practices in your school, you need buy-in across stakeholder groups. Consider how you (and a diverse group of stakeholders) will make a case for and create a sense of urgency around restorative practices at your school. Consider how you can use data as a reflective tool (rather than a tool for shaming and punishment) to drive conversations around the culture, climate, and current disciplinary practices.

Conflict-Resolution Sentence Starters As a career-long educator, Bryan Harris has served in a variety of roles from classroom teacher to district-level leader. Now working full time as a trainer, his work focuses on topics ranging from student engagement to teacher resiliency. Find out more at his website:
At the heart of restorative practices-in fact, it's right there in the name-is helping students learn how to repair and restore relationships after a conflict, hurt, offense, or fight.

The sad fact is that far too many of our students enter school without effective conflict-resolution skills. This includes the skill of recognizing when you've done harm to someone else and how to fix it. Notice that I didn't say that kids don't have any conflict-resolution skills. The fact is that they do-it's just that many of the skills and communication methods they've acquired are not healthy or productive.

So, as teachers and leaders, what do we do?

The first step is knowing that conflict is normal and cannot be fully avoided as long as you interact with other people. Once we help our students understand this very important idea, helping them develop and refine skills that communicate remorse is a great next step. In other words, teach them the power of an apology.

When students know how to sincerely offer and genuinely accept an apology, it serves as the foundation to restore broken relationships.

Have you ever seen something like this before?

Student A (we'll call them the offender) sheepishly walks over to Student B and says, "Sorry." They mumble the word under their breath while looking directly at the ground, arms folded the entire time.

Student B (we'll call them the victim) reluctantly says, "That's OK," while also looking at the ground and counting the seconds until they can run away.

In this all-too-common scenario, both students are likely embarrassed, and the conflict is not resolved. While some of the right words were used, Student A didn't truly apologize, and Student B didn't authentically accept it.

Imagine how different that interaction would be if students used specific words and phrases that communicate remorse for the offense and acceptance of an apology. It might sound like this:

Student A: "I am sorry for drawing that picture of you and showing it to your friends. I realize that made you feel sad. I promise I'll never do that again. Will you please forgive me?"

Student B: "Since you promised to never do that again, I accept your apology."

Notice the difference in the words. A great first place to start is by teaching students, by the use of sentence starters, which words are most effective at offering and accepting an apology. The following examples are great places to start:
How to Offer an Apology
* I apologize for ...

* It was my fault that _______ happened. I apologize for letting it happen.

* I realize that....

* I realize that _____ was my fault and I am sorry for making you feel ________.

* I am truly sorry that I did this. I want to make things better. Tell me how I can do that.
How to Accept an Apology
* I accept your apology. Make sure this does not happen again.

* Because I know you will not do this again, I accept your apology.

* I'll accept your apology because....

* Because you know that ______ was wrong, I accept your apology.

* Because you know that ______ hurt me, I can accept your apology.

Four Strategies for Promoting Restorative Practices
Kara Pranikoff is an elementary school teacher at a public school in New York City. Her book, Teaching Talk: A Practical Guide to Fostering Student Thinking and Conversation (Heinemann, 2017), shares many ways to keep the balance of classroom discussion in the hands of the students:

It was a beautiful springtime morning in New York. I walked into the yard to pick up my 2nd graders, and they swarmed to me, ready to begin our day.

Hudson stood atypically off to the side. Bending down to meet his eyes, I asked what was going on. "I don't want to talk about it now," he said quietly. "But may I give a public-service announcement when we get up to our room?"

"Public-service announcements" were statements that students needed to share with the rest of the community. Often these were messages that would increase our efficiency. (Can everyone place their jackets on hooks so that the space stays neat?) Or messages that would help us work better together. (Remember, we need to have a calmer science class so we can do our experiment.)

"I'd like to speak with everyone, even before we unpack," he requested. I was unsure about the content of his message, but it was clear that Hudson needed to begin our day.

Students entered the class, placed backpacks at their tables, and moved directly onto the rug. Hudson took a seat in the front corner of our meeting area, and I settled onto the bench in-between his peers.

"I'm feeling a little sad today," he began. "I just want everyone to know that last night my great-grandmother died. I want everyone to know that I might not want to play very much today."

The class responded with care. Some had questions that were typical of 2nd graders trying to get the literal facts: How old was she? How did she die? Then Hunter, Hudson's closest friend, raised her hand. "How can we help you feel better?" she wanted to know.

Restorative practices are essential for a community to care for each other and grow together. Our best learning happens when we feel safe and secure. This priority requires attention each day in order to bring together an entire classroom of diverse students.

The tools which enabled the students to listen and support Hudson in his time of need were put in place in the fall-nurtured and practiced each day-so that by springtime they could be used, with independence. Here are some essential ways to develop these habits of mind:

Have discussion in circle every day

It's said that one way to achieve closeness with others is to eat with them. It's not just the literal nourishment but the connection which is fostered by close physical proximity. The classroom equivalent is to set aside a space where the whole community can gather and face each other in a circle. This creates an area of inclusion where students can share their thoughts and ideas.
Make space for students to speak and respond to each other independently
Students' ownership of their shared space requires the ability for them to express their thoughts freely. Speaking in partnership or small groups can be woven into every day so that sharing and building ideas, independent of the teacher, is a regular practice.
Invite the lives of your students into the classroom
Restorative practice honors the full being of each student. For this to happen, students must have the freedom to share what is on their mind. We must embrace the child as a whole, enabling them to express the joys that happen both inside and outside of school, as well as the struggles.

Begin your day together

Each day we transition from our home space with family to our classroom community. By gathering as a whole class first thing every morning, we make a commitment to welcome our day together. We can set our intentions and get our minds ready for what is coming ahead in our shared learning.

Thanks to Sheila, Maurice, Timothy, Ashley, Bryan, and Kara for their contributions.

Please feel free to leave a comment with your reactions to the topic or directly to anything that has been said in this post.
Just a reminder; you can subscribe and receive updates from this blog via email or RSS Reader. And if you missed any of the highlights from the first eight years of this blog, you can see a categorized list below. The list doesn't include ones from this current year, but you can find those by clicking on the "answers" category found in the sidebar. Look for Part Two in a few days.

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Ways to Implement Restorative Practices in the Classroom (Opinion)

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Educators share their practical experience implementing restorative practices in their schools, such as holding goal-setting conferences with students and teaching them "the power of an apology."

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Using Restorative Questions to Identify a Logical Consequence-Amanda Terhark

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Using Restorative Questions to Identify a Logical Consequence-Amanda Terhark

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Page 104
https://blog.cps.edu/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/CPS_RP_Booklet.pdf
Article focuses on the use of restorative questions that can we used to find logical consequences.
Logical consequences help students look more closely at their behaviors and consider the results of their choices.

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Read the latest blog articles to stay up to date on news from Chicago Public Schools.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OjzxBeg0P7I

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Meditation for Anxiety Spanish | Ansiedad Meditación para Niños | Kids Meditation in Spanish

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Reachout.com

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Empathy for the feelings and needs of others is an important skill that we all need to develop. If your child is bullying others, it might be because they haven't learnt about or need more practise in using empathy.

What is empathy?

Empathy is the ability to understand the emotions of others. Empathy helps us understand how others are feeling, what their motivations are, and what their perspective might be. Encouraging your child to consider these things when interacting with others might help them understand why engaging in bullying behaviour is hurtful to others.

The importance of empathy in changing bullying behaviour

Often, people bully or unintentionally hurt others because they lack an ability to think about and understand the impact of their actions and words on others. Without empathy and respect for others, it's easy to act in ways that hurt other people. There are many ways your teenager can get what they need without having a negative impact on others, and it's important to help them learn the skills to do this.

How to help your teenager develop empathy

Developing empathy in teenagers is important as it teaches them to reflect, observe and think about their own behaviour. Help them to notice and name feelings and communicate them to others appropriately.

Talk often about feelings in life. Talk about feelings in real-life situations, or examples on television.

Ask what they notice. What do they believe people are feeling, based on their non-verbal communication - facial expressions, body language, and tone of voice? Labelling these feelings will help them think about and understand others.

Be a positive role model for connecting with people. Give full attention to your child, and other people around you often. Turn off the TV or put down devices, and focus your full attention on the person you're with. Encourage your teenager to do the same when talking to you.

Help them understand the other person's point of view. Ask them what they think the person they are bullying might be thinking, or how they might see the situation. Ask them what the other person might want to happen and why.

Encourage them to come up with ways everyone can get what they need. Get them to come up with different and interesting ways they could go about it. Help them choose options that work best for everyone and put them into practice.

Ask them what they're trying to achieve when they're engaging in behaviour that could be bullying. Try and work out what their underlying need is, and reflect this back to them.

Other skills your teenager may need to develop

Empathy is an important skill for avoiding bullying. However, a lack of empathy isn't the only reason people bully. Consider how capable your teenager is at the following skills:

ReachOut.com has some helpful information that you could encourage your child to read:

As your child develops empathy, acknowledge it. Point it out to them and thank them in the moment. Reward their attempts with words of encouragement. Doing the right thing by other people feels good and will give your child a sense of positive self-esteem that will go a long way to changing their behaviour.

Did you find what you needed?

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Help your teenager develop empathy - ReachOut Parents

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Empathy for the feelings and needs of others is an important skill that we all need to develop. If your child is bullying others, it might be because they haven't learnt about or need more practise in using empathy. Empathy is the ability to understand the emotions of others.

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JoeBrummer.com

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When challenging behavior:

What happened?

What were you thinking of at the time?

What have you thought about since?

Who has been affected by what you have done?

In what way have they been affected?

What do you think you need to do to make things right?

To help those affected:

What did you think when you realized what had happened?

What impact has this incident had on you and others?

What has been the hardest thing for you?

What do you think needs to happen to make things right?

Restorative questions are a tool used to process an incident of wrongdoing or conflict. When a situation has occurred, the person(s) who has created the conflict takes some time and answers questions such as the following: What happened? What were you thinking about at the time of the incident? What are your thoughts now? Who was impacted by your actions, and how? How will you repair the harm? The questions focus on the incident, and allow the person to think about how his/her actions affected others. It encourages empathy, accountability, expression of feelings and thoughts, and problem solving. Restorative questions are also answered by those who were impacted by the incident, to help them process their feelings and determine what they need to make things right.

As a teacher, I have used restorative questions with my students and find them to be a powerful tool. However, I frequently catch myself putting more focus on the person who created the conflict, and having them use the restorative questions to reflect on the situation. With those who have been impacted, I tend to talk with them about the event, rather than give them the restorative questions to answer. While my reasoning was mainly about time management (and a bit of laziness), not allowing my students the time to reflect on those questions robs them of an opportunity to develop self-identification of their emotions and needs. Due to a recent situation, I have experienced firsthand the benefits of reflection using restorative questions, and truly recognize their importance to all parties involved in an act of harm.

About two months ago, I had a situation where a young man was making inappropriate comments in my class. Despite my repeated attempts to work with him, "John" refused to rectify the situation and became too angry to focus on his assignment. I finally asked him to leave my classroom, which enraged him. As I stood by the door to my classroom, John stormed out in a rage. In doing so, he slammed my door as hard as he could. In an instant, I felt intense fear and shock. This confused me, and over the next few hours, I had a difficult time sorting through my emotions. I could not comprehend why I was having such a strong reaction to his aggressive behavior. This was not the first time I have been in a conflict with an angry adolescent, but this seemed different and I could not figure out why that was the case.

Later that afternoon, I attempted to reflect on the day's events, but struggled to do so, as I still could not sort my feelings. It eventually dawned on me to use the restorative questions as a starting point. For some reason, I used the questions that are typically reserved for the wrongdoer, but the questions still seemed to suit my needs. I started with the question "what happened?" then worked my way through "what was I thinking during the incident" and "what were my thoughts now?" Those few questions fueled a huge response from me, helping me spot that the student's actions brought up emotions connected to incidents from my past - events that I had never really dealt with before now. Once I discovered the connection, it was much easier for me to recognize my feelings. From there I was able to identify my needs in this situation.

When I finally sat down with John, he had already completed a lot of reflection work and was ready to meet with me. He explained the struggle he had that morning, prior to class, in dealing with a personal situation. John told me that he took his anger out on me, and that he should not have done so. He shared with me his plan to make sure that this never happened again, and apologized for his actions. He then asked me what I was feeling at the time of the incident. It surprised me how comfortable I felt to share with him my emotions - those of fear and shock, and how his actions brought to the surface feelings I experienced from a past incident. I did not share any personal details with him, but the mere acknowledgment of the connections between my past and this event seemed to get his attention. He first looked surprised, then compassionate. I was taken aback at how intently he listened to me, and I felt validated without his even needing to say a word. When I was finished, he related a similar struggle he had in his past, and the connection between us was made. By the end of our meeting, I felt heard, and confident that this situation was behind us.

I realize how valuable restorative questions are, not only those who have committed an act of wrongdoing but also those who were affected by the act. The time spent processing what had happened to me was time well spent. It was a strong reminder for me that shortchanging the process for my students can affect some of what restorative practices attempts to achieve: involvement of all parties; self-awareness; and the potential connections that can occur through recognition and acknowledgment of others' feelings and needs. Lesson learned.

Samantha White is a technology teacher for CSF Buxmont Academy and a lecturer for International Institute for Restorative Practices.

To read more about the restorative questions in the context of the definitional framework of restorative practices, read "What Is Restorative Practices?" by Ted Wachtel.

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Time to Think: Using Restorative Questions | News

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When challenging behavior: What happened? What were you thinking of at the time? What have you thought about since? Who has been affected by what you have done? In what way have they been affected? What do you think you need to do to make things righ...

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It's a moment most educators will recognize: A student has said something biased or promoted a stereotype. There's a ripple through the classroom, but the speaker hasn't noticed. Students look to you expectantly, and you know the statement can't go unaddressed.

Most teachers look for opportunities to build a human rights culture and to counter hatred, bigotry, fear-mongering and intolerance. One way to do this, when students make a mistake, is to call them in rather than calling them out. Doing so prepares them for civic engagement by encouraging a sense of hope and possibility.

Guiding Instead of Dragging

In conversations and debates about social justice issues, insisting someone take responsibility when they say or do something hurtful-regardless of their intent-is a common way to protect vulnerable communities and individuals. It's often necessary, but not every correction allows both parties to move forward. Calling out happens when we point out a mistake, not to address or rectify the damage, but instead to publicly shame the offender. In calling out, a person or group uses tactics like humiliation, shunning, scapegoating or gossip to dominate others.

In our society, call-outs have become a way of life. They are generally done publicly, either in person or online. Extreme calling out is when a person or a group expresses their disagreement cruelly, sometimes grandstanding. Fearing they may be considered politically backward if they don't prove their "wokeness" on trending social justice issues, witnesses to the conflict may pile on while bystanders silently withdraw.

Calling in is a technique that does allow all parties to move forward. It's a concept created by human-rights practitioners to challenge the toxicity of call-out culture. Calling in is speaking up without tearing down. A call-in can happen publicly or privately, but its key feature is that it's done with love. Instead of shaming someone who's made a mistake, we can patiently ask questions to explore what was going on and why the speaker chose their harmful language.

Call-ins are agreements between people who work together to consciously help each other expand their perspectives. They encourage us to recognize our requirements for growth, to admit our mistakes and to commit to doing better. Calling in cannot minimize harm and trauma already inflicted, but it can get to the root of why the injury occurred, and it can stop it from happening again.

Calling in is not for everyone or every circumstance. It's not fair, for example, to insist that people hurt by cruel or careless language or actions be responsible for the personal growth of those who have injured them; calling in should not demand involuntary emotional labor.

Calling in is also not a useful response to those who intentionally violate standards of civil conversation. When powerful people use bigotry, fear and lies to attack others, calling out can be a valuable tool, either for the individuals they seek to oppress or for bystanders who choose to interrupt the encounter. When people knowingly use stereotypes or dehumanizing metaphors to describe human beings, their actions victimize targets and potentially set them up for violence. Calling out may be the best response to those who refuse to accept responsibility for the harm they encourage or who pretend they are only innocently using their right to free speech.

But, if call-ins can occur without demanding undue emotional labor or allowing space for hateful behavior, this approach offers a way forward that increases the potential for learning-particularly in activist and academic spaces. This practice works especially well when allies call one another in or when leaders, such as teachers, use it to model speaking up without losing the opportunity for learning. By teaching our students how to call one another in, we're providing them the tools and skills they need to gather up those who share their privileges, to offer patience and grace when they can, and to facilitate growth-so others won't have to.

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A veteran human rights educator explains the value of teaching students to call each other in rather than out.

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Dianne H

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The Power of Empathy | Audrey Moore | TEDxYouth@SHC

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This video has children focus on breathing. So peaceful...Dianne H.

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The Power of Empathy | Audrey Moore | TEDxYouth@SHC

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This TedTalk is given by a 7th grader--very powerful.

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Taking a Stand Against Judging Others | Emily Johnson | TEDxPascoCountySchools

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I have always enjoyed this series. Dianne H

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This short video is geared toward the middle level. Dianne H