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con·​nec·​tion | \ kə-ˈnek-shən \

a : causal or logical relation or sequence the connection between two ideas

b(1) : contextual relation or association In this connection the word has a different meaning.

(2) : relationship in fact wanted in connection with a robbery

c : a relation of personal intimacy (as of family ties) Family connections can make getting a job much easier.

d : coherence, continuity … a confused multitude without order or connection.— John Locke

2 a : something that connects : link a loose connection in the wiring

b : a means of communication or transport a telephone connection

3 : a person connected with another especially by marriage, kinship, or common interest has powerful connections

4 : a political, social, professional, or commercial relationship The school has no connection with the museum. : such as

b : an arrangement to execute orders or advance interests of another a firm's foreign connections

c : a source of contraband (such as illegal drugs)

5 : a set of persons associated together: such as

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the act of connecting : the state of being connected: such as; causal or logical relation or sequence; contextual relation or association... See the full definition

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I don't suffer from depression, but I certainly have my moments of feeling down in the dumps. Sometimes it's because I'm dealing with difficult issues, or life is just not going my way. Other times, it's hard to pinpoint where my sadness comes from. Usually an upbeat person, these bouts leave me drained and tired, with no energy to do anything I don't absolutely have to do. I just want to be alone.

But that never makes me feel better.

The reason, I believe, is that we all need to feel connected. after reports that as social animals, humans need each other. We need to feel supported, valued, and loved. Those who have good relationships are happier, healthier, and live longer than those who report feeling lonely.

When I think of my own experiences, it's amazing how connecting with someone, even briefly, can give me what I need to soldier on. For example, there are times I've felt as described above, and have been moping around at home. My phone rings. My impulse is to not answer it, but for some reason I do, and I hear a good friend's voice on the other end. She's just calling to say hello. We chat about nothing important for about five minutes, promise to get together soon, and say our good-byes.

My spirits have been lifted. I even smile as I remember something my friend and I just joked about. I decide to push myself and I get out of the house to take a walk. Some people smile at me as we pass and I smile back. I compliment a passerby on her sweater and stop to pet someone's dog. By the time I arrive home I am feeling much better than I had been feeling before my phone rang.

We often think of connecting with others as having heart-to-heart talks where we share our deepest thoughts and emotions, or open up about hard-to-discuss feelings or events in our lives. This is certainly connecting, and is important for us all to do at times.

But connections can also be as simple as my walk. A pleasant interaction with a store clerk, a shared laugh-out-loud joke, even a text message to a family member, can all, to some degree, satisfy our innate need for community.

Unfortunately, many of us have almost totally replaced our face-to-face connections with virtual ones. We rack up friends on Facebook, and join all kinds of virtual community groups. We shop online, thereby limiting those pleasant interactions with store employees mentioned above. In fact, we often pride ourselves on our independence, on focusing solely on our own aspirations and desires, and on not needing anyone else. This trajectory might lead us to our personal goals, such as a successful career, but just might leave us feeling lonely as well.

I'm not saying we shouldn't work hard to reach our goals. I just think there needs to be a balance. In living our lives and pursuing our dreams, we need to recognize how important basic human connections are to our well-being. Once we realize this, we can consciously work toward making these connections that are sure to enhance our lives. And it just might be as simple as going outside for a walk.

The Importance of Connection

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I don't suffer from depression, but I certainly have my moments of feeling down in the dumps. Sometimes it's because I'm dealing with difficult issues, or life is just not going my way. Other times, it's hard to pinpoint where my sadness comes from.

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The term “empathy” is used to describe a wide range of experiences. Emotion researchers generally define empathy as the ability to sense other people’s emotions, coupled with the ability to imagine what someone else might be thinking or feeling. Contemporary researchers often diff…

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Empathy leads to helping behavior, which benefits social relationships. When people experience empathy, they are more likely to engage in pro social behavioral that benefit other people. Things such as altruism and heroism are also connected to feeling empathy for others.

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Introduction to Empathy

Suppose that you were a student who just received your first failing grade on an assignment. Having never received a failing grade before, you are disappointed and surprised at your assessment. You wonder where you went wrong, and you start to feel depressed. You start blaming yourself and feel like you are a failure as a student.

Your friends decide to take you out in order to cheer you up. Karen tells you how sorry she is that you failed your assignment. Mike places his arm around your shoulder and says, 'I know how you're feeling. I failed a calculus assignment last semester. I know you must be disappointed and upset with yourself, but try to not be too harsh.' Mike's response is an example of empathy.

Empathy Defined

You are probably somewhat familiar with the saying 'put yourself in someone else's shoes.' This saying is an example of empathy. Empathy is the ability to understand what another person is feeling. Showing empathy involves seeing things from another person's perspective so that you can understand and relate to his or her feelings.

It is easier to empathize with someone when you have been in a similar situation. For example, Mike was easily able to empathize with you in the example because he previously received a failing grade in calculus. If you are an alcoholic and attend an AA meeting, it will be easier for the other members in the meeting to understand and empathize with your feelings about your alcoholism because they are experiencing or have experienced similar things.

Empathy and Psychology

Many psychologists rely on empathy when working with their clients. For example, psychologists who show empathy have a better understanding of what it is like to be the client and have these experiences. Psychologists also use empathy in order to understand the significance that certain events hold for the client. When used correctly in the therapeutic setting, empathy can result in a deeper connection between client and therapist and improve the working relationship.

Empathy can also be used in order to validate a person's feelings. When you empathize with a person, it lets him or her know that he or she is not alone and that other people have had similar experiences and reactions. This knowledge of connectedness can improve the relationship between you and the person you are showing empathy toward and result in positive outcomes. For example, it may be that after your conversation with Mike, you realize that failing one assignment does not mean that you failed as a student, and you are no longer depressed.

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what is empathy? - definition & examples - video & lesson transcript | study.com

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What Is Empathy? - Definition & Examples - Video & Lesson Transcript | Study.com

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Suppose that you were a student who just received your first failing grade on an assignment. Having never received a failing grade before, you are disappointed and surprised at your assessment. You wonder where you went wrong, and you start to feel depressed. You start blaming yourself and feel like you are a failure as a student.

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What Is Storytelling? – National Storytelling Network

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Why is storytelling important? What would you say to inspire, provoke, or dissuade young storytellers?

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Answer (1 of 20): Introduction Storytelling is what connects us to our humanity. It is what links us to our past, and provides a glimpse into our future. Since humans first walked the earth, they have told stories, before even the written word or oral language. Through cave drawings and over fi...

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Before there was history, there was storytelling. It's essential to our human identity. The stories we tell are how we know who we are. And sharing a tale with an audience can be immensely rewarding. But for novices, it can also be terrifying. Fear of speaking in public is very common. A great many of the world's greatest performers have struggled with powerful stage fright. So you should know that you're not alone. We're here to help you build your confidence and find your own voice.

The Three W's: Who, What, When

The things you don't say are as important as the things you do.

The Bottom Line

There is no way to get better at telling stories to people than by telling stories to people. There is no substitute for experience. "You just have to get up and do it," said Aaron Beverly, who finished second in the Toastmasters world championship of public speaking in 2016. (You can watch his delightful speech.) He compares storytelling practice to a gym workout. To build muscle, weightlifters have to get their reps in. And if you want to develop your skills as a speaker or storyteller, so do you.

The goal, Mr. Beverly said, is to feel so comfortable in the role that you go on autopilot. You build a sort of muscle memory for your body by standing up in front of a crowd, or on a stage, and speaking out. But you don't have to do it all on a large stage. You can practice at an open-mic night, at a gathering like The Moth, or even at work by leading a meeting. If nerves are holding you back, start as small as possible. Ask a friend to listen and give you feedback.

Sharing a great story is like giving your audience a gift, because it will stay with them. They can even share it further, the same way that stories have been passed along since the beginning of human life.

Who Is Listening?

Make sure you know who the audience is. Are you talking to friends? Strangers? Colleagues? A large mixed group? Seek out something that connects you. Because you are the one constant, whatever the situation. It's your story. So to figure out what is right for which group, you need to identify your own relationship to the audience. That might be something as simple as sharing a story of your childhood when facing an audience of children. Or for a completely unfamiliar audience, it could mean finding a story with a universal thread that everyone can relate to.

What Story Should I Tell?

The most effective and affecting stories spring from something close to you. "The best way to reach all people is to go to a personal story," said Brenda Wong Aoki, an acclaimed playwright, storyteller and performer. "Everybody is a human being and everybody can relate on that level."

When you hear a story like this, when you can relate your own experience and understanding to a speaker, it triggers a reaction, a kind of recognition that leads toward empathy. That's a key factor in figuring out what stories you should tell.

But remember that the relationship between an audience and a storyteller goes two ways. You have to consider who is listening, and your own motivations, to find the right approach. "It's almost as important to research your audience as it is to find your stories," Ms. Aoki said.

In her career, Ms. Aoki has worked with storytellers from a variety of traditions, and she emphasizes the importance of focusing on the audience's needs. "Each story changes in context with whoever you're telling it to," she said. "So you have to reach them by knowing where they're coming from."

Chris Anderson, who has been the curator of the TED Conference since 2002, agreed. "Look at it from the audience's point of view," he said. "What will they take away that's of value?" And remember the gift metaphor. "If you think of it as your chance to advance an agenda, that's a recipe for a boring talk," Mr. Anderson said.

Make Sure You Fit the Occasion

Think about the context in which you're telling your story. Are you standing onstage in front of unfamiliar people? Or are you at your cousin's wedding? The last thing you want is to make your audience uncomfortable, so you need to read the room. If you're unsure whether your story is right for the audience, ask someone who might be there - an organizer or another speaker would do.

One simple way to make sure your subject is appropriate is to focus on something that connects you and the audience. What experiences do you have in common? This is easy enough for a group of colleagues or a family gathering - you have history together, and people and direct connections in common.

But even if you're facing an audience of strangers, the occasion of your talk will probably give you some clues. There's a reason that graduation speakers almost always mention their own school years. At a wedding or a funeral, the focus is clear, but it can be difficult to get just the right tone, so here's a trick: For a festive event, add a dash of seriousness or sincerity; on a more somber occasion, offer a bit of levity.

Mr. Anderson describes two variant approaches to connecting with an audience of strangers:

Win them over early by making yourself likeable or vulnerable with humor or by sharing something personal.

Stoke their curiosity by posing a question that you will ultimately answer in your talk.

But do not assume the audience knows everything that you do. Avoid jargon and don't expect everyone will recognize abstract concepts or even the names of people you plan to mention.

"You can't say everything," Mr. Anderson cautioned. Keep in mind that there is a point to telling your story: You're trying to create an experience in the mind of your listeners. Providing that takeaway for your audience is your goal. "Concentrate on that," Mr. Anderson advised, "and relentlessly delete everything that does not contribute to that narrative."

Putting It Together

Don't obsess over getting it perfect at first. Just get going.

How to Structure Your Story

There are a lot of suggested formulas to help structure a story. A quick web search will bring you to a list of the three C's of storytelling - or is it???? Feel free to rely on any of those guides that seems helpful to you, but all you really need are two things: characters and conflict.

Start with the characters, Mr. Beverly advised. Whether it's yourself, your family or someone else, you want to introduce them quickly. Make them vivid, not plain, in your initial description, and keep their numbers low.

Then put them into conflict with each other, with some external force, or with the status quo. "There has to be something that challenges that character," Mr. Beverly said.

The tension of that challenge is what makes the story move toward a turning point or a climax. You want the conflict and tension to rise, raising the audience's expectations for what's coming later. Think of how a well-told joke builds up steadily, until all the pressure is released by the punchline. (A joke, by the way, is a story in miniature. If you can tell a joke, you can tell a story.)

But after the climax of your story, you might want to add one little bit more. A coda or a last thought to leave the audience with is a good way to wind things down without being abrupt. Is there a takeaway message that you can frame for your listeners? A callback to something you said in the opening? Think of it as a parting handshake that offers a bit of closure to the audience after sharing time together.

How to Get Started

So now you have a story in mind. Great! Here's how to start working on it.

1. Find someplace quiet and private, turn on a voice recorder - there's probably one on your phone - and just tell it in your own words. Don't worry about making it perfect. Just get it done.

2. Sit down and listen to yourself. Don't worry about any vocal stumbles at this point. Is the whole story there? Are there things you immediately wish you could improve? Record it again if you want. Or proceed to the next step.

3. Write it down just as you spoke it. Congratulations! You have your first draft.

4. Go through and edit the text. Where can you tighten things up? What lines or words need to be emphasized?

5. Now repeat steps 1 through 4 until you feel like it's as good as you can make it.

Polishing

If you really want to make your story sing, you need to take the show on the road. Find yourself an audience. To start with, it can be just one or two people, family or friends you trust. Beforehand, make sure you tell them that you're looking for helpful feedback, not just praise.

If you keep at it, you'll probably find a small group of people who are really good at providing honest, useful guidance. Treasure these people! And maybe buy them a doughnut now and again.

After listening to what your test audience says, go back and rewrite. And just keep going. The more you do this, the better your story will be, and the more comfortable you'll be telling it.

Performance Time

Hint: Taking slow, deep breaths before you start is a good idea.

Finding Your Voice

When you practice, try to talk the same way you do with friends and family. Those people are your first audience, and the one you are probably the most comfortable with. What do they laugh at when you tell them a story? The way you speak around them is your natural voice. If you still have a hard time figuring it out, you can (with their permission) record a conversation with some of them and then listen back later, focusing on how you sound in those unguarded moments.

Performance Tips

Whether you're talking to 10 people or 100, here are some things to keep in mind.

Before you go on, if you're still anxious, take a minute to yourself. Slow your breathing down and move your body a little. Don't be stiff. That should help calm your mind.

Make use of the full range of speech. A monologue should never be monotonous. It's essential to vary your voice in tone, volume and pace. Figuring out exactly how is the reason for all those practice takes.

When you're telling a properly structured story that you have sufficiently rehearsed, you shouldn't need to rely on notes. A good story flows like a burbling stream. But it's fine to use your script when you're practicing.

If you're giving a longer presentation, or you're making a speech that involves multiple stories, you can use bulleted notes. "That will just be a prompt," Mr. Beverly said. "Bullet point: tell this story."

If you are using notes, be sure to practice enough so that it doesn't sound like you're just reading aloud. And make sure to look up and make eye contact with the audience regularly.

If you lose your place, try not to panic. Remember: What seems like an eternity of silence to you is really just a few seconds' pause to your audience. Take a breath and compose yourself. Have a sip of water if you need. (Another tip: Before you start, ask for water, or bring some with you.)

If you're really frozen, you can try asking the audience a question. "Does any of this make sense? You're nodding. You look puzzled. What am I missing?"

Common Pitfalls

As the saying goes, "Practice makes perfect." But here are some things to look out for while you practice:

Don't sound like you're reading from a book. Keep your language informal, like the way you would talk to a friend. "Your story isn't meant to be read," Mr. Beverly said.

Wear your influences lightly and speak in your own voice. Don't mimic someone else's style or verbal patterns.

Keep your goal in mind: this experience is for the audience, not for you.

If you get lost or mess up, don't call attention to a mistake. "Pause, gather yourself, and continue," Mr. Beverly recommended. "Even if you have to repeat yourself."

Don't overshare. There's a difference between a relatable personal story, which helps connect you to the audience, and TMI.

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Taking It Further

Once you perfect one story, don't stop there.

As you begin to feel more comfortable, you may notice further opportunities to practice and expand your repertoire. And as you practice speaking, you may realize there is even more to be learned. There is no shortage of outlets for storytelling and speaking, from , which has events in dozens of cities, to and its many descendants. If you're looking for a more structured way to learn, Toastmasters, which has been around for more than a century, has clubs around the world.

But building your storytelling skills is about more than just entertaining an audience. Your abilities can help you at work, in communicating clearly with colleagues, leading meetings, providing helpful feedback and articulating your career goals.

Whether you pursue further studies or not, one essential thing to remember is to tell a story that matters. "Make it about loyalty or courage or hope or love," Mr. Anderson said. Be passionate, keep doing it, and you will find people who want to listen.

Illustrations by Eleanor Davis

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Before there was history, there was storytelling. It's essential to our human identity. The stories we tell are how we know who we are. And sharing a tale with an audience can be immensely rewarding. But for novices, it can also be terrifying. Fear of speaking in public is very common.

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THE GIRL WHO HATED BOOKS | Full Animated Film | National Film Board of Canada