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When someone dies, it creates upheaval in the support system, leading to unfamiliar territory in terms of how to help those with different perceptions and expressions of grief such as language, repetitive gestures or patterning, emotional disconnect, and searching behaviors. Although the outward expression of someone's grief may be difficult to recognize, the need for their grief to be acknowledged and supported is universal. In this episode, Jana talks with Rebecca Hobbs-Lawrence, a staff member at The Dougy Center, about ways to support children and adults with developmental disabilities in their grief

Suggestions for supporting children or adults with developmental disabilities in their grief:

1. Acknowledge the loss by being present and responsive to their verbal and behavioral cues.

2. Affirm that they are not alone, name the support people they have.

3. Maintain a consistent routine as much as possible. Give a lot of advanced notice for when their daily routine may change or be unusual.

4. Facilitate activities or rituals that will acknowledge the grief. This can help children and adults to develop coping strategies and find ways to remember the person who died.

Resources:

Finding Your Own Way to Grieve: A Creative Activity Workbook for Kids and Teens on the Autism Spectrum by Karla Helbert, 2012

Everyone Grieves: Stories about Individuals with Disabilities and Grief by Marc A. Markell, 2013

Helping People with Developmental Disabilities Mourn: Practical Rituals for Caregivers by Marc A. Markell, 2005

Lessons in Grief & Death: Supporting People with Developmental Disabilities in the Healing Process by Linda Van Dyke, 2003

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At Dougy Center, you'll find grief support, resources, and connection before and after a death. We provide the right place when nothing feels right.

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Dear Comfort Zone Camp Community,

I am so pleased to share that we are holding in-person camps! In fact, we've safely held seven so far this year! So what's next? We anticipate holding in-person camps with 1:1 matching of kids to adults for the remainder of the year. We also will continue to have the programs we launched during COVID--our virtual and in-person family camps. Both were very successful and will be incorporated into our menu of camp opportunities as we look forward to 2022.

Other Camp News: We have our first ever camp in West Virginia, October 22-24, 2021! Please help up spread the word! We also just held our first camp in Nevada and will be back in Utah this August.

This year, we have a camp in Virginia over the 20th anniversary of the 9/11 tragedy. We are working on a special way to honor the impacted families who became so close to us. Comfort Zone was one of the first programs to mobilize and help grieving families after the September 11th attacks. When that tragic event happened to our country, CZC was three years old and based only in Virginia; we knew at that moment that we needed to respond and expand our program to families up north.

Our events are also in full swing. Thanks to all those who participated in our Grief Relief National 5K and took the time to run, walk, and remember their loved ones! We have galas, golf tournaments, and more coming this fall. Make sure to check out our events calendar.

We are so grateful to everyone who has supported us for the past 22 years, especially through the pandemic. Grieving children and their families is our priority, and we remain committed to serving that community and making sure they always have a voice and a place.

Lynne Hughes, Founder & CEO

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Dear Comfort Zone Camp Community, I am so pleased to share that we are holding in-person camps! In fact, we've safely held seven so far this year! So what's next? We anticipate holding in-person camps with 1:1 matching of kids to adults for the remainder of the year.

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This material was adapted from Helping Teens Cope with Death by The Dougy Center. To order a copy of the book, visit our online bookstore or contact The Dougy Center, 503-775-5683.

What is it like for teenagers when someone close to them dies? How do they respond to the death of a parent, a sibling, a relative, a friend?

In our work with teenagers, we've learned that teens respond better to adults who choose to be companions on the grief journey rather than direct it. We have also discovered that adult companions need to be aware of their own grief issues and journeys because their experiences and beliefs impact the way they relate to teens.

six basic principles of teen grief

1. Grieving is the teen's natural reaction to a death. Grief is a natural reaction to death and other losses. However, grieving does not feel natural because it may be difficult to control the emotions, thoughts, or physical feelings associated with a death. The sense of being out of control that is often a part of grief may overwhelm or frighten some teens. Grieving is normal and healthy, yet may be an experience teens resist and reject. Helping teens accept the reality that they are grievers allows them to do their grief work and to progress in their grief journey.

2. Each teen's grieving experience is unique. Grieving is a different experience for each person. Teens grieve for different lengths of time and express a wide spectrum of emotions. Grief is best understood as a process in which bodily sensations, emotions, thoughts, and behaviors surface in response to the death, its circumstances, the past relationship with the deceased and the realization of the future without the person. For example, sadness and crying may be an expression of grief for one teen, while another may respond with humor and laughter.

"I hate it when people think I should be grieving according to the 'stages' described in some high-school health book. Since my sister's death I've learned that grief isn't five simple stages."

Kimberly, 17

While many theories and models of the grieving process provide a helpful framework, the path itself is an individual one, and often lonely. No book or grief therapist can predict or prescribe exactly what a teen will or should go through on the grief journey. Adults can best assist grieving teenagers by accompanying them on their journey in the role of listener and learner, and by allowing the teen to function as a teacher.

3. There are no "right" and "wrong" ways to grieve. Sometimes adults express strong opinions about "right" or "wrong" ways to grieve. But there is no correct way to grieve. Coping with a death does not follow a simple pattern or set of rules nor is it a course to be evaluated or graded.

There are, however, "helpful" and "unhelpful" choices and behaviors associated with the grieving process. Some behaviors are constructive and encourage facing grief, such as talking with trusted friends, journaling, creating art, and expressing emotion rather than holding it inside. Other grief responses are destructive and may cause long-term complications and consequences. For example, some teens attempt to escape their pain through many of the same escape routes adults choose: alcohol and substance abuse, reckless sexual activity, antisocial behaviors, withdrawal from social activities, excessive sleeping, high risk-taking behaviors, and other methods that temporarily numb the pain of their loss.

"My friend went crazy into drugs, sex, and skipping school after her boyfriend got killed in a skiing accident. She stopped talking about him. Now she's kicked out of school and is pregnant by a guy she hates. Since my boyfriend's car accident, I know what can happen if I make wrong choices like her."

4. Every death is unique and is experienced differently. The way teens grieve differs according to personality and the particular relationship they had with the deceased. They typically react in different ways to the death of a parent, sibling, grandparent, child, or friend. For many teens, peer relationships are primary. The death or loss of a boyfriend or girlfriend may seem to affect them more than the death of a sibling or grandparent.

"Expect the unexpected. Emily actually danced and sang after I told her that her mother died. I was shocked. Later I realized the relief we both felt. The relationship had been filled with her alcoholism, lies and illness."

Father of Emily, 17

Within a family each person may mourn differently at different times. One may be talkative, another may tend to cry often, and a third might withdraw. This can generate a great deal of tension and misunderstanding within the already stressed family. Each person's responses to death should be honored as his or her way of coping in that moment. Keep in mind that responses may change from day to day or even from hour to hour.

5. The grieving process is influenced by many issues. The impact of a death on a teen relates to a combination of factors including:

Social support systems available for the teen (family, friends and/or community)

Circumstances of the death - how, where and when the person died

Whether or not the young person unexpectedly found the body

The nature of the relationship with the person who died - harmonious, abusive, conflictual, unfinished, communicative

The teen's level of involvement in the dying process

The emotional and developmental age of the teen

The teen's previous experiences with death

6. Grief is ongoing. Grief never ends, but it does change in character and intensity. Many grievers have compared their grieving to the constantly shifting tides of the ocean; ranging from calm, low tides to raging high tides that change with the seasons and the years.

"I've had people say that you've got to go on, you've got to get over this. I just want to shout, 'You're wrong! Grief never ends.' I don't care what they say."

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The Dougy Center for Grieving Children & Families | Portland, OR

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This material was adapted from Helping Teens Cope with Death by The Dougy Center. To order a copy of the book, visit our online bookstore or contact The Dougy Center, 503-775-5683. What is it like for teenagers when someone close to them dies?

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childmind.org-The Teachers Role When Tragedy Strikes

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Lo sentimos, la página que usted busca no se ha podido encontrar. Puede intentar su búsqueda de nuevo o visitar la lista de temas populares.

When communities experience episodes of violence or face natural disasters these events are hard even for adults to comprehend. We can't shield our children from pain and fear when they're exposed to such tragedy. But we can help them process what they're experiencing in the healthiest way possible.

The Child Mind Institute has prepared free trauma resources to aid parents, educators, and other adults in talking to children and adolescents about potentially traumatic events and identifying those who might benefit from more focused professional attention. Our children can be more sensitive to challenges around them because of their life experience and they need our support.

We hope these resources will be of assistance in a trying time, and that you will share them with anyone you think might benefit. And remember to take care of yourself; your children depend on you most of all.

We have over 60 guides and 700 articles available to help you (in Spanish too!).
Subscribe and get a curated selection weekly.

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Multilingual Trauma Resources - Child Mind Institute

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Lo sentimos, la página que usted busca no se ha podido encontrar. Puede intentar su búsqueda de nuevo o visitar la lista de temas populares. When communities experience episodes of violence or face natural disasters these events are hard even for adults to comprehend.

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Grief Resources & Support for Families | Good Grief

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At Good Grief, we focus on providing families, professionals, and communities with a multitude of grief resources, including educational videos, quick tips, and more. Click to view our resources.

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This is a class lesson that can be used in conjunction with reading the book, Brave Bart. I've provided you with a power point version of the book you can use in a virtual lesson. I also recommend purchasing a hard copy to have on hand for the future.

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This is a class lesson that can be used in conjunction with reading the book, Brave Bart. I've provided you with a power point version of the book you can use in a virtual lesson. I also recommend purchasing a hard copy to have on hand for the future.

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Grief | United States | The Dougy Center School & Community Toolkit

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The Dougy Center's School & Community Toolkit is a comprehensive resource for educators, school counselors, and anyone working with grieving children, teens, and young adults.

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Toolkit contains some good tip sheets regarding children and and grief that can serve as handouts for parents and school staff

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Toolkit contains some good tip sheets regarding children and and grief that can serve as handouts for parents and school staff

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Sample scripts for notifications to the school community

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Sample scripts for notifications to the school community

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Grief Education & Training

Dougy Center offers professionals training, online courses, and workshops on helping children, teens, and families who are grieving in hospitals, schools, hospices, youth service organizations, and mental health agencies.

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Grief Support for Teachers & Staff | Dougy Center

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Dougy Center offers professionals training, online courses, and workshops on helping children, teens, and families who are grieving in hospitals, schools, hospices, youth service organizations, and mental health agencies.

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Offering Comfort

In the face of challenges big and small, little ones need lots of help from caring adults to grow and thrive. Comforting, nurturing touch is actually necessary for healthy brain development!

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Helping Kids Grieve | Sesame Street in Communities

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Offering Comfort In the face of challenges big and small, little ones need lots of help from caring adults to grow and thrive. Comforting, nurturing touch is actually necessary for healthy brain development!

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This informative toolkit has incredibly practical and helpful tools for families that have just experienced a loss. It provides all you need to still hold a meaningful memorial service as well as important information to help parents understand childhood grief

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Click below to access the website.
Imagine is currently offering virtual support for grieving families

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At Imagine we believe that no child should have to grieve alone. You will find a community of caring people who together create a safe, hospitable, clinically sound environment for mutual support, healing and growth.

Imagine offers peer grief support services to youth age 3-18 and young adults 18-30. Concurrent support groups are provided for parents, guardians and other adults.

Get a glimpse of the Imagine experience:
Free virtual tour

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Imagine | Free Grief Support for Children and Families

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At Imagine we believe that no child should have to grieve alone. You will find a community of caring people who together create a safe, hospitable, clinically sound environment for mutual support, healing and growth. Imagine offers peer grief support services to youth age 3-18 and young adults 18-30.

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If you know a child or teen who has experienced the death of a mother, father, caregiver, sister, brother, or friend, you may have wondered how you can help. At The Dougy Center for Grieving Children & Families, we have worked with thousands of grieving children and teens since our program began in 1982. They've taught us a lot about what does and doesn't help them.

We've gathered together some of the most important things we have learned from grieving families and kids, and have made it accessible to you through this Website. Our resources are simple and practical. You may want to use them to answer specific questions about how to help a grieving child, to locate support and resources for grieving children and families, or to learn how to communicate with the grieving community.

As adults, we're often too quick to offer advice, give opinions and make judgments. We think we know what's best for our children, and we want to make sure they get the right information. But while we're busy talking, sometimes we miss important messages from children about what they need and how we can best help them. You may want to know what to say to a grieving child. Instead, try this:

Listen.

After a death, many children want to share their story. They may want to tell you what happened, where they were when they were told about the death, and what it was like for them. Telling their story is a healing experience. One of the best ways adults can help young grievers is to listen to their stories.

Now you already have one thing you can do for a grieving child. Read on. Invite a child to read with you. Ask her what she thinks. Hopefully, this will be a safe place to learn and discover together about grieving.

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If you know a child or teen who has experienced the death of a mother, father, caregiver, sister, brother, or friend, you may have wondered how you can help. At The Dougy Center for Grieving Children & Families, we have worked with thousands of grieving children and teens since our program began in 1982.

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An organization that provides support for children and families after a loss. They are currently offering virtual support, peer support, and access to many resources for coping with grief. In addition, they continue to provide resources, podcasts, etc. to help families navigate grief during this pandemic.

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Adapting to life after a loved one dies is a hard transition, leaving kids vulnerable. They have the option to make choices with positive outcomes and choices with harmful outcomes. At Good Grief, children, teens, and families learn from each other as they adapt, rebuild their lives, forge meaning, and make healthy decisions with positive outcomes.

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Grief Support Center for Children & Families | Good Grief | NJ

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Adapting to life after a loved one dies is a hard transition, leaving kids vulnerable. They have the option to make choices with positive outcomes and choices with harmful outcomes. At Good Grief, children, teens, and families learn from each other as they adapt, rebuild their lives, forge meaning, and make healthy decisions with positive outcomes.

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Grief | United States | The Dougy Center School & Community Toolkit

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The Dougy Center's School & Community Toolkit is a comprehensive resource for educators, school counselors, and anyone working with grieving children, teens, and young adults.

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Get help explaining death to children. Explore our free, bilingual resources for families, providers, and teachers on coping with grief and loss of loved ones.